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0 he rrut (Citizen. ullivan Brothers, Publishers. Subscription Rates: no Copy one year - - 82 001 “ six months - 1 00; “ “ three lnonlhs - oOj PQS I T ! V 5 L Y C A S H. | The bank robbers of Augusta wore both found guilty in their trial in Augusta on Wednesday, and will go to the penitentiary. A skeleton was plowed up near Helicon Spring a few days ago, and two bullets dropped out of the skull. No one seems to know of any one being killed in that vicinity. The' matter is shrouded in mystery. A man named John B. Frank was found guily of branding his wife with a red hot iron in Russel county, Alabama, and sentenced to one year on the public works and pay a fine of $1,000. The brute should have been hanged. The largest book ever made at the government printing oflico, in Washington, has just been finished. It is bound in sheep skin and Russia leather, is one foot and four inches in breadth, contains 10,000 pages, and weighs 140 pounds. Terrible Hoods, the result of very heavy and continuous rains are reported in Louisiana and Texas.— This is an index for a wet June for us. Observation has established the fact that weather waves invari ably move from west to east. There fore, when extreme wet,cold, or heat is reported to the west of us it may confidently be expected to nass over us, and the time of its arrival may,be ascertained with tolerable accuracy by noting its progress east which the telegraph and weath er bureau afford facilities for doing. When these phenomena occur east of us, they need not be expected to come over us. In our last week’s issue, speaking of I)r. Perkins’ candidacy for the Senate, we said he wished a seat in the Senate to “vindicate” his past course. Amid the hurry and press ure of business at the time, we us ed the word “vindicate” unadvised ly, and it did not express the mean ing we intended to convey, for we know of nothing for which Dr. Per kins either needs or wishes “vindi cation” for any act which he did during his long course of service in the House of Representatives. We should have said “approval” of his friends and constituents, which we think the doctor may most honora bly claim for the faithful perform ance of the duties of Representa tive during the many years that the people of Rurke county have trusted their interests into his hands. A twelve hours go-as-you-please walking match, to come olf the 10th ilist,, to-morrow, has been organized by seven well known newspa per men of Atlanta, for a purse of gold and the gate money: Sam. W. Small, Josiah Carter, K. (’. Bruffey and ('. T. Logan, of the Count it u- tion; R. M. Cheshire and E. T. Ey- ington, of the Journal, and lido Uamsdell, of the (leoryia Cracker. The entries have been closed, the walkers have each put up his forfeit, and the race will be made by the above named gentlemen. The purse for tne winning man has al ready reached over $200, and will probably be increased to $•'>()() or up wards. When it was publicly an nounced that the contest would be made an interest amounting to nearly excitement manifested itself, and has not abated. Several im portant bets have been made. A considerable amount of money is likely to change hands. All the contestants are amateurs, but all are noted as peculiarly fast walk ers. The contest will begin at 10 o’clock a. m., and close at 10 o’clock p. m. Volume o. Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, May 9tli, 1884. Number (The (line <Tjtizen. Advertising Rates : TrnnHlimt mlvs. pnyqhle In nilvnneo. Contract mlvs. payable quarterly. ( "Hi mimical inns for pel s licncflt will lie ttlmrKcd lor as mlvs., payable la advance. Advs. occupying special position clmrucd 25 per cent, additional. Notices ainoittr reading matter 10 cents jvr line, each insertion. Notices In I.ocal.y Uuslncss column, next lo remituk, 5 cents per line each Insertion. All notices will lie plaerd aiuona readine matter if not specially ordered otherwise. For terms apply nl tills office. Til K COM HAT PKIU’KXS. einlets Fall out nml Have n Till—In- tcrestiiu: Itcailliu'. Ilryunt's Hep I y to AVuili*. Tim Swtunsboro Itemizer runs up tlm nmno of Judge J. 1*. 1‘ughsley for State Senator from that district, and the name of Col. Walter C. Livingston for Solicitor (tenoral of that, (the Middle).]udicial Circuit.— The Itemizer supports Colonel Liv ingston in it llattering editorial, and tlu> grand jury at the term of the Superior Court of Emanuel county hist week, incorporates tlm follow ing strong endorsement of Colonel Livingston in their general present ments: “We, as a hotly, being fully satis- lied and confident of the fitness and capacity of our fellow citizen, Wal ter C. Livingston, Ksip, for the very responsible position of Solicitor General of this (Middle) Judicial ('ircuit, take this occasion and medi um of recommending him to our next Senator and Representative for their support and enthusiasm in tin 1 approaching election.” Relieving Colonel Livingston to he fully worthy and capable to till tlm important ofllee he is seeking, we freely add our endorsement to the strong and honorable recom mendations above quoted, and say to our Senator and Representatives, whoever they may he, that we hope Colonel Llvinston will receive their unanimous support. Savannah News, April 80. Editor Saw Morning Nf.ws:— My attention has been called to a card purporting to have been writ ten by Edward C. Wade to me, and published in your paper of tlm 10th instant. The language employed is such as I did not think Col. Wade capable of using. I am unable to account for bis strange conduct, in view of the fact that be lias for many years professed to be my warm personal and political friend, and the additional fact, there had been no personal difficulty between us. It lias been suggested to me that lie holds me responsible for bis failure to secure certain positions of honor from tlm Republican Con vention, which met in this city on the Utli instant. If so, he is entire ly mistaken, as I no way opposed him. Col. Wade must have forgot ten tlm part be took in 1877, in as sisting to expose tlm falsity of the charges contained in the circular to which lie refers. Those charges were first made in 1870, during the Presidential campaign, when I was Chairman of the Republican State Committee. 1 immediately de nounced them as false in every particular, and called a meeting of the State Committee to investigate them. At that meeting, which was held in this city, January Id, JS77, Col. Wade was chairman pro tern., of the committee. A report was presented by a sub-committee, con sisting of Col. A. E. Ruck, Hon. Jonathan Norcross, and Col. Henry P. Farrow, and unanimously adopt ed. The following is a copy of the report: Penotved, That the course pur sued by Capt. John L. Conley and others in making charges against our chairman, lion. J. E. Rryant, in tlm midst of this recent Presidential campaign, deelaing their ability and readiness to sustain them, and then failing and refusing as they have done, to sustain those charges on being afforded an opportunity of so doing, is, in view of all the attend ant circumstances, to be profoundly regretted. Penal red id, That we are of the opinion that Mr. Bryant is not call ed upon to defend himself against charges so inopportunely made and so unsatisfactorily abandoned, and that the conduct of hi* accusers is a vindication of him against their charges. Jienoleed 3d, That under all the circumstances, there is no reason appearing to this committee why lion. John E. Rryant, Chairman of tlm Republican State Central Com mittee, of Georgia, should not con tinue to have the confidence and support of all earnest Republicans. A. E. Rick, Jon at i r a n N o nc moss, Hkniiy 1*. Fa unow, Committee. In April, 1878, Col. Wade wrote the following letter in my behalf. 1 have the original letter in his hand writing in my possession: Savannah, Ga., April 21), 1878. Having known Col. John E. Bry ant a number of years, it is with great gratification, and is a source of much personal satisfaction to my self that I am enabled to say .of him that he is a gentleman of high Christian character—a Christian— and is at the head of the Republi can organization of Georgia with out a spot or blemish. A gentleman of whom every Republican and pa triot in the nation may justly feel proud. Edwaiu) C. Wadi:, Collector Internal Revenue, Kuva- nah. In many ways Col. Wade has since that time manifested his confidence in mo and his friendship for me.— I have in my possession numerous letters written to me as only one warm triend writes to another. In July last, lu> wrote to the President recommending my appointment ns Marshal for the Northern district of Georgia. The following is a copy of the letter: other gentlemen, and in the atti tude of a personal friend, asked me to sign a paper recommending his son to a responsible position in the civil service of the United Stales Government, which request I promptly granted. In less than one week from that time, and without any personal difficulty between us, he wrote the letter which appeared in your columns on the lfltli inst. John E. Rryant. Atlanta, Ga., April ..'.id, ISS’,. its usual heat, and hence the sight gave him no uneasiness. Strangers in passing along the road have often been startled by (lit 1 light, hut tin' people living near had grown so accustomed to the vision that they Story of ii Itrntnl Murder in Franklin County, ami tin* Stiunge Sight Seen Mirhtly, Athens Banner. In 1870 three negroes in Franklin county, Ga., committed a brutal assault niton a young white woman, a Miss Stowe, and after their hel lish deed murdered her in a most heinous manner. After cutting her person with knives, and finding lift' still not extinct, the fiends placed the girl’s nock between a chestnut stump and a root and endeavored to break her neck. Failing in this, too, tiie negroes with their hands deliberately choked her to death, and concealed the body in a dense copse of woods. The victim was a poor girl, and a domestic in the family of a man named Shockley, a merchant. The girl was soon missed and a search instituted for her. It was continued unsuccessfully for three days, Mr. Simon Marks, of Athens, being one of the party, and was present at the finding of the body. Vhe search had almost been given up, when a young negro hoy wlio was present, remarked to the men that if they would look in a certain skirt of woods they would find the body. They did so and found the poor girl just as the hoy stated. Iler body showed signs of the most horrible treatment, and the indignation of the county was at fever heat. The boy wlio told where the body could he found was at once arrested and placed in the Carnesville Jail, but he bitterly de nied knowing anything about the murder. Detectives were set at work, and it was not long before two other negroes—an old man named Lank and his son Jerry— were arrested. They belonged to a Mr. Mangrum, and tho only evi dence against them was that the dead girl, in company with another woman, was seen to pass where they were at work, when the negroes jumped over the fence and followed them. Soon afterwards Miss Stowe’s companion parted company with her, and this was the last time the poor girl was seen alive. The negroes were put on trial, but they most bitterly denied their guilt, and stated that a white man was at the bottom of the mur der. Lank and his son were con victed, however, and publicly exe cuted in Carnesville. They died protesting their innocence. The negro boy, who pointed out the body, was next put upon trial, and General Tom Cobb, after promise of a half interest in the negro, made an earnest hut fruitless effort to save his lite. lie, too, was hanged. Soon after the execution of the negroes, strange stories were told about the place where the body of Miss Stowe was found. It is a lone ly and desolate spot, and unnatural sounds were heard there at night and mysterious figures seen. Trav elers by night would avoid it, and it became known as the “Haunted Hollow.” Rut these sounds and ghostly figures were never traced invcstlgattiur nn Immoral Oimi'. Some time ago, says the St. Louis Pont-Idnpatch, a party of St. Louis j gentlemen departed for I lot Springs, Ark., for a season of rest and rolax- ...... , ... , , . ation. At least two of them had quit taking about it, and he would , , . ... . . 1 , ", , , ’ .. . , overworked themselves m an official never have thought of it again, had . ... , ... , . ,i ii +i capacity m putting down gambling Ins attention not been called to the I , , ,, • .. . ,, ,,, I and otherwise purifying the moral “Haunted Hollow” by reading nn account of “Judes Light,” near At lanta. Lieutenant (loodrum says the last time lie conversed with ai., . .. , . , , . . j this game of poker, against which they had made such a crusade at i home. A couple of Arkansas gentlemen were appealed to, and that same evening the first lesson was given atmosphere of the town. After they had relaxed for sometime, one ‘suggested that they examine into gentleman who lived in that neigh borhood lie stated that the light continues to appear. The gentle men with whom we conversed are i altogether reliable, anil there is no Everybody had plen um! a theoretical anti Auirustu Truilo. Savannah Morning News. The Jforniny News some time ago mentioned a new boat contem plated for the Augusta and Savan nah river trade. Tho place of build ing was not then determined. To arrange this matter Capt. W. T. Gibson, manager of the steamer Mary Fisher, went North and West about one month ago and found! that lie could get the machinery at Jeffersonville, Iiul., cheaper than anywhere else; in fact, cheaper! than anticipated. It has been do-j cided to build the vessel here, all j the material other than the machin ery being obtained cheaper than at any other point. The work will be started shortly, M r. John Wester-j man of this city haying been award ed the contract for the hull and I cabin work, and Messrs. M. A. I Sweeney A- Rro., of Jeffersonville, Indiana, the machinery. The boat will he built miller the supervision ■ of Capt. Gibson, and fully up to his idea of the needs of the river trade, lie being thoroughly conversant with the route from hero to Augusta. The boat is to be a stern wheel about the size of the steamer Katie, and of the following dimensions: 12o feet long, 110 feet over all, 2-7 feet beam, 37 feet over all. She is to have a boiler deck 100 feet long, full cabin nml 20 state rooms finish ed and furnished in first-class style, the cabin and all the upper works to ho of cypress and as light as pos sible. Iler machinery will include two steel boilers, 1(1 foot long and 12 inches in diameter, her engines to be 10 inches in diameter and •*, feet stroke, and the shafts to he of steel. She will draw 17 to 1H inches light, and when loaded will carry between 700 and 800 bales of cotton on a deptli of 4 feet. It is calculat ed that with 401) bales of cotton she will have a deptli of only 24 inches, which will no doubt insure a regu lar schedule between this city and Augusta, when it is remembered that the Katie did not reach Au gusta for several months during the past year owing to the low water in the river. The blocks are now being laid at Kinsey’s Mill and her stein is already cut out preparatory to the laying of her keel. She will he completed by the 1st of Septem ber, in time for the fall trade. The cost will he about $17,000. Capt. Gibson will command her. Aii Advance (Juanh A Washington dispatch, dated April JOtli, says: It is reported that the Seventh-day adventists, a reli- | gums sect having its headquarters at doubt about the truth ol this story,. , ,. . , , . . ,, ... , , ‘ ’ to the lambs, hut whether it is caused from super- . . , ty ol money natural or ordinnrv causes we leave . , . .... , , , ‘ knowledge ol the game, and during to the reader. .....? , ... , tin 1 first two hours, as the St. Louis The IIIucWn l.nlil lor a Xmv Vi'iwel forthe Savannah paity expected, Some $100 lltlll pass ed from Arkansas to Missouri.— Then a ten-dollar pot was passed out into a jack pot and everybody, of course, came in. One of the St. Louis officials who sat next the dealer opened his hand and beheld three beautiful queens, lie drop ped $70 worth of blue chips into the j pot, “just,” as he remarked, “as a I starter.” Ilis neighbor, another St. j Louis man, “made, it a hundred.” i Arkansas made it two hundred, the I dealer and the hotel-owner dropped : out, anil tlie three players went on with a great deal of nerve. The man with the three queens simply called, and the Mt. Louisian who had an ace-full pat toyed with the game for another hundred. Ar kansas sent it up a hundred more, and the three queens man stayed once more. The process was continued until each gambler hud $770 on the table, and the cards were drawn. The official caught another queen, and his friend and Arkansas stood put. lie bet one dollar; when it came back to him it had been lifted $1,000 more. He made it $1,000 more.— The ace-full called and Arkansas lifted yet one more thousand. Out of a sentiment of pity' St. Louis called, at the same time laying down upon the green baize his pic ture gallery of queens, face up.— Ace-full sighed sadly and inserted his hand in the deck. Arkansas examined each queen and the other card, lest there should be five of them, passed his hand over to Mis souri and began hiving in the money. It was four kings upon which he had guilefully stood pat. (TIIKKXT UIjEANINOS. A $ 11.000 Hollar Horse. At a recent sale of race horses in England, Harvester, .‘1 years old, sold for $451,000 and Busybody, 5! years old, for $44,000. Corroran's Contribution. Washixuton, May 51.—It is un derstood that W. W. Corcoran’s contribution to the proposed home for ex-Confederates will bo $7,000. Suicide of one of .lesse James' Slayers. Richmond, Mo., May 10.—Charles Ford, brother of Bob Ford, the slay er of Jesse James, shot himself through the heart this morning, dying instantly. No cause is assign ed for the act. Ameriran Silk. One of Philadelphia’s largest dealers says that very nearly one- half of ail the silks now sold in the United States are of home manu facture, spun by American bred silk worms and woven on Ameri can made looms. A Cull fur IIoimIn. Wasiitnoton, May 8.—The Sec retary of tho Treasury this after noon issued a call for $10,000,000 .three per cent, bonds. Notice is given that the principal and accru ed interest will he paid at the Treasury the 20th day of June next, and interest will cease on that day. A Stuck Kuucltr burger tliuu Hliudc Isluml. Charles Goodnight is a king among cattle kings in Texas, and has fenced in 700,000 acres with 250 miles of wire fence at the head of Rod river, in the Panhandle. His rancho contains nearly twenty-five thousand acres more than there are in the entire state of Rhode Island, and he bought the whole at from 70 cents to $1 an acre. A I,inly Admitted lo the liar. Pnir.ADKi.i>mA, May 51.—Judge Thayer to-day delivered the opin ion of the Court of Common Pleas No. 4, admitting Mrs. Carrie B. Kil gore to practice. Every other com mon pleas court has refused her admission, although exceptional action was taken sometime ago by the Orphans’ Court, where the lady is a practitioner. Judge Arnold dissents from the opinion of his col leagues, Judges Thayer and Eleock. The court took the ground that its action was sustained by the com mon law right which the Legisla ture had not interfered with by a statue. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS. A Itnilrniiil to Koutli Amorim. to any authentic source. There was,! Battle Creek, Michigan, arc expect- C. S. Marsh ad’s Ofkk’kA East’n Div.Sdth’n Dis.ofGa.A Savannah, Ga., July 21, 18851.) To the Prenident: I take pleasure in recommending Col. John E. Rryant for appointment to tin 1 position of United States Marshal for the Northern District of Georgia in the event of a vacan cy. however, one sight that was wit nessed on the . night after the negroes were executed, and it is j said to he seen to this day. A ball of fire, at a regular hour, is seen to rise from the very spot where the j body of Miss Stowe was found, and fioat for hours through tho woods, 'rime and again lias it been follow ed, but the light Hies before the ap proach of man, and can never be i mind. ing a convert shortly in no less a person than Hon. Rutherford R. Hayes; that lie will he followed by a number of other persons of note and that soon after, the end of tho present state of affairs will come to pass. It the report is true, Method ism must have lost its power to sooth Mr. Hayes, Something at least must he weighing on his approached except at a certain dis-; tance. It advances nv retreats just its the person walks. We have this week conversed with several re sponsible gentlemen from that sec tion of Franklin county, and they tell us they have seen it many times. adventist ob- The Seventh-day serve Saturday for their Sabbath,) and believe in tne second coming of Christ. Recently, us the report j goes, Mr. Hayes wrote to Elder Cartrlglit, who is at the head of the j order, asking for hooks and pam- This light does not seem to have | plilets hearing on the belief. Elder A dispatch to the New York Sun dated May 7th, says: In compli ance witli an order of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs, Rep resentative Stewart of Texas, has prepared a bill providing for the appointment of three Commission ers, to serve two years, to aid in ex tending American trade and com merce, amt in acquiring informa tion looking to railway communica tions between Southern countries and the United States. The bill provides that the Commission shall visit Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador,Peru, Bolivia, the Argentine Republic, Chili, Uruguay, Paraguay, and Brazil. The hill appropriates $70,000 to pay the expenses ot the Commis sioners and their salaries of $7,000 each annually. In his report to accompany the hill Mr. Stewart says: “The idea of building a railway from the United States to the Argentine Republic is somewhat startling to those who have never given tho subject a thought, hut there is no insuperable obstacle in the way of such an en terprise. A railroad commoting with the railroad system of tlm United States to tlm City of Mexico, and thence through Central Ameri ca and along the Isthmus of Darien, passing oust of the Andes, through South America to tlm Argentine . Republic, would meet with but few ! natural obstacles, and tlm distance would not exceed 0,800 miles, and it may he shortened to 0,01)0 miles by commencing its construction at tlm City of Mexico, where it will con nect with roads already built. It is believed that the completion of any power of illumination, hut is | Cartrlglit set about complying with sut '*‘ 11 roat * a,v 110 num - lormidable simply a hall of “dead tire,” as some the request and while engaged expressed It, suspended in tlm air. j in gathering tlm literuturo together, Lieutenant Goodrum, of the Athens came across the startling hit of in- police force, tells us that lm has formation that Mr. Hayes had once seen this light hundreds of times, been President of tlm United States, having lived in sight of the fated I The discovery set the elder to than were those encountered twen ty years ago in tlm construction of our first transcontinental line.— When such a rail road is constructed our commerce will he enlarged to such an extent as at this time to spot for a number of years. When lm first moved to the settlement the thinking, and then he and others! anything like a correct esti Col. Rryant is competent and in people told him that tlm farm he I every way worthy, and II he should | occupied was haunted, hut having j receive the appointment w ill per- no superstition about him, he did discovered it was promised as a sign j llia * l> Its \ ulue, that the end was near would he the overcoming of many public men form the duties of the office well and worthily. 1 have the honor to he, very re speetfully, your obedient servant, Ed w A HI) U. Wadk. not credit the story. But on the first night, in throwing his eye to the clump of woods where the mur der had been committed, lie dis tinctly saw the red hall, and for Oil the sth day of the present i nearly every night rain or shine, month, Col. Wade called at my while lm lived on tlm place. It office in this city, in company with * never approached the house or left into tlielif fold. They were at once convinced that Mr. Hayes was the advance guard, and they posted to him right away every work they thought would he of interest to him. The Adventist have been In a high state of excitement ever since. The effect of the literature on Mr. Hayes has not yet been ascertained. There is in Ranks county a fork ed walnut tree that bears nuts on one fork one j ear and on the other the next, never having fruit on both limbs tlm same year. At Buena Vista $20,(M)(» was sub scribed in one day to start an oil mill. It only requires $517,DIM). Subscriptions are positively cash A|i|iro|irlHtioiiH for Georgia Hirer*. Special lo Atlanta Constitution. Washington, May 6.—I learn from Chairman Willis that the fol lowing have been agreed upon as the appropriations for the Georgia rivers and harbors: The Savan nah harbor, $170,000; Cumberland Sound, $77,000; Brunswick harbor, $10,000; Altamaha river, $27,000; Coosa river, $70,000; Flint river, $20,000; Ocmulgee river, $8,000; Savannah river, $17,000; Oconee ri ver, $51,000; Itoni ney Marsh, $10,000, The whole delegation did not get all they asked. Considering the size of the hill they are well satis fied. Suit' of tin' Summerville Mills. Avgusta, May 0.—The Summer- villi' mills, property of George 1*. Curry, who failed for a quarter of a million on February 17th, was sold to-day at public outcry, and with out reserve, to Charles H. Rhinizy for $8,000 above tlm bonded debt of tiie mill, which amounts to $150,000. This sale of a factory which cost $100,000 for $08,000 is tho cheapest bargain on record, for Curry coined a mint of money out of it in Hush times, two and three years ago. Colonel Rhinizy bought the mill for himself, and expects to realize handsomely, either by a sale of this, the finest mill site on tlm canal, or by its operation. llulldlntr mi Island. The ambitious project of con structing tin island in Lake Michi gan, opposite, Chicago, is seriously to he taken this summer. Tlm magnitude of this venture can he understood when It Is known that the plans contemplate an area of forty acres. This island is to he guarded by a breakwater 17 feet in height. It is to he placed one mile from tlm shore, where the depth of the water averages is fcot. On tho shore side is to he u land-locked harbor of seven acres, to admit lake cruft of all size. The land is to be formed of sand and clay dredged from the lake. Tlm face of the is land Is to he irregular, and the summit of the gradual swell is to he the site for a large hotel. Tho pro jectors number several experienced engineers, and have made their estimates on tlm basis of a total expenditure of $2,000,000. it is thought that the resort would prove popular as a resort for summer cot tages. A MOllKI, WO.MAX. I know n woman womlrolls fair, A model woman slip— "Who Dover runs her neighbors ilown. When she goes out to tea. She never gossips after ehureli l if dresses, orof hats; She never meets the sewing school, And Join them In their spats. She never bents a salesman down, Nor asks for pretty plaques; She never asks the thousand things That do his patience tax. These statements may seem very strange— At least they may to some— Hut remember this, my friend, The woman’s deaf and dumb. A Cleopatra’s needle should he set up to mark the floods. Tt would soon be full of Ohioroglphics. It is estimated that of Mississippi’s sixty or seventy colonels of the late war not more than 2,700 now re main. “This is my coat of alms,” said a tramp, tapping the ragged garment tho deacon of a church had just given him. A pillow sham—The wad about the size of a boxing-glove found at the head end of tho average hoard ing-house bed. Money often leads men astray.— Some of them will run after a dol lar, but a hound dog is more avarici ous. Ho will follow a scent. A French dramatist makes one of his characters in a recent play de clare that he is “holding up the trowsers of despair with the braces of hope.” An article containing a dozen hints on how to take care of a horse is going the rounds of the press, but there is not one hint as how to get the horse. We heard of a man the other day who was said to be mean enough to steal a coat of paint. But he can’t equal the party who tried to steal a dog’s pants. “We’re down on horse steal in’,” said the chief of the vigilantes to the horse thief were about to string up, “anti we are pleased to see you are in accord with us.” A South End man did over $70 worth of damage to the furniture yesterday morning in looking for his collar-button. And he wasn’t in much of a hurry either.—Jlonton Pont. The only thing that equals the spontttncousnosS with which this country produces a monument is the unanimous cordiality with which it isn’t built.—ltockhtnd Cou rier. Help the weaker party: A timid young man lias married a lady whose weight verges closely upon 200 pounds. “My dear,” says lie to her, “shall I help you over the fence?” “No,” she replied, “help tho fence!” A grain denier at Yankton, Dak., has purchased 2,400 bushels of wheat from tho Crow Creek Indians since harvest. Tt is a good sign when the Indians commence raising wheat instead of raising lmir and tho deuce generally. “If you were to freeze,” said George, snuggling up a little closer, “you would make delicious ice cream.” “If you were to freeze,’ responded Amelia with severity, after catching a whiff of his breath, “you would make a rum punch.” During a dense fog a Mississippi steamboat took landing. A travel er anxious to go ahead, Came to the unperturbed manager of tho wheel and asked why they stopped. “Too much fog. Can’t see the river.” “But you can see the stars over head.” “Yes,” replied the urbane pilot, “but untyl the boiler hursts wo ain’t going that way.” A farmer, who raises a great many hogs, attended a State Fair in Ohio, and wrote the following letter hack to a neighbor: “Dear Friend— Yesterday 1 inspected the live stock ilefntrtmfcnt of tne fair. You will he interested to know that the display of hogs was unusually large.— Among the hogs I saw some some of your breed, and was very much surprised at not seeing you there yourself.”—Sifting*. The law’s advantage.—Young doc tor—“Hello, John, how are you gel- ting along?” Young lawyer—“I have only secured about a dozen clients so far, hut they all stick to me, so 1 should not complain.”— Young doctor—“No, Indued, you should not complain. That is the advantage of being a lawyer. 1 wish 1 hud studied law instead of medicine.” Young lawyer—“Indeed, have you failed to get patients?” Young doctor—“Well, no. 1 have had pretty good luck getting pa tients, hut they don’t stick,” Young lawyer — “Why is that?” Young doctor—“I don’t know. They Just die off.”