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V O S I T 1 V E L Y C A S H. |
Volume 8.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, May 25th, 1889. Number 4.
gjS~ Mr. Carr, of Illinois, is min
ister to Denmark.
g£jT A niece of Jeff. Davis is in
jail in Liverpool charged with pois
oning her husband.
Ex-Gov. Bullock, of Atlan
ta, has been appointed by President
Harrison a director of the Union
Pacific Railway.
Solomon Ilirsch, of Oregon,
has received the appointment of
minister to Turkey. He is of
Jewish parentage.
The Rev. Mr. Thigpen,
Methodist minister at Carrollton,
took an overdose of morphine and
was in a dying condition when a
physiciau reached him.
T he Southern Alliance will
locate its warehouses and central
office at Birmingham. This city
in order to secure their coming of
fered the site and $100,000.
gW~ It is now thought that the
Florida district judgship will not
go to a Pennsylvanian,but that suit
able material will be found at home,
but not “to the manor born.”
IW In the Arrington murder
case at Bainbridge the jury hung,
and therefore a mistrial was made.
It stood 11 to 1 for acquittal. Ar
rington killed a drummer by the
■name ot Lane from Savannah for
attempting the honor of his daugh
ter.
g.W~ The custom in Minnesota
of publishing all the acts of the
legislature in a supplemental form
so that the newspapers can dissem
inate them very generally among
the people, seems to be a very good
one, and might be adopted in other
states to the advantage and legal
edification of the people.
Allen Thorndyke Rice, the
-newly appointed minister to Russia,
died suddenly at the Fifth Avenue
hotel N. Y. on Friday morning. He
had engaged passage for Europe
on the steamer that sailed the day
before his death. He had a throat
affection and had been confined to
his bed only three days. lie was
the editor and proprietor ot the
North American Review, and pos
sessed literary attainments.
Chauncey Depew made a
great speech at the New York cen
tennial and received unstinted
praise. But an old college class
mate, a Dr. Towne, claims to have
loaded him, and puts in a bill of
$800 for furnishing the amunition
Mr. Depew does not deny in toto
the assertions of his old friend, but
says that he could have gotten
along equally as well without this
assistance. He offers the friend
of his boyhood days $200, which has
been indignantly refused.
Cardinal Gibbons, one of the
American vice-gerents of the Pope
of Rome, made a short visit to At
lanta. lie met with a very warm
reception. The governor,and many
other public officials, together with
a large number of prominent citi
zens paid their respects to him.
Many of our protestant clergy are
very bitter in their denunciations
against the Pope of Rome, and
yet the cause is gaining ground,
and the strong prejudice of the
masses are daily weakening.
Some of the leading papers
of ihfe state are emphatic in assert
ing that Senator Colquitt “is cheek
by jowl” with Col. Buck, and that
the combination is running the
Georgia political machine for all
ii is worth. They want to give out
the loaves and fishes. The senator
is a mighty good man and his big
heart goes out to his friends, hence
his desire to get office for them, ot
course his motives are disinterest
ed. Politicians always love the dfear
people. A preacher in the pulpit, a
politician on the stump, a wire pul
ler in the caucus, and a Democrat
controling Republican patronage.
g£T~ The southern general as
sembly of the Presbyterian church
met at Chattanooga on yesterday.
As has been the custom for sever
al years the delegates are row
ing over Dr. Woodrow and his
evolution record. In this assembly
.the fight began at the very opening,
when the name of Dr. Woodrow
was proposed for moderator. Out
siders would take more stock in
such meetings and feel more confi
dence in the faith of the preachers
if they would exhibit a little more
of the milk of human kindness
and brotherly love. A large num
ber of the brethren are sort ot roar
ing lions going about seeking
whom they may devour. When
not fighting the devil they are rend
ing each other.
SHE IS GRATEFUL.
“I saved the life of my little girl
by a prompt use of Dr. Acker’s
English Remedy for Consumption.”
—Mrs. Wm. V. Harriman, New
York. Sold by Whitehead & Co.,
Waynesboro, and E. H. Pipkin,
Midville.
THE DEVII/S THEE.
A Tree That Devour* Ulr<lN—A Dry Land Octopus.
Chihuahua, Men., April 22.—
I, John H. Butterman, Amer
ican and whilom resident of this
city, beg to communicate to the
Globe-Democrat a most singular
discovery which I have recently
made.
I have taken much interest in the
study of botany during my sojourn
in this country, the flora of which
presents one of the richest fields for
the scientist .in the world, and have
wandered some distance from
town on several occasions in my
search for specimens. On one of
these expeditions I noticed a dark
object on one of the outliving spurs
of the Sierra Madre mountains,
which object excited my curiosity
so much that I examined It care
fully through my field glass. This
revealed that the object was a tree
or shrub of such an unusual ap
pearance that I resolved to visit the
spot. I rode to the mountains, the
sides of which sloped sufficiently
for me to make my way on horse
back to within a tew rods of the
summit. But here I was stopped
by an abrunt rise so steep that I
despaired of reaching it even on
foot. I went around it several
times seeking lor some way to
climb up, but the jagged beetling
rocks afforded not the slightest
foothold. On the top of this knob
stands the tree I had seen. From
the spot on which I now stood I
could see that it somewhat resem
bled in form the weeping willow,
but the long, drooping whiplike
limbs were of a dark and apparently
slimy appearance, and seemed pos
sessed of a horrible lifelike power
of coiling and uncoiling. Occasion
ally the whole tree would seem
a writhing, squirming mass. My
desire to investigate this strange
vegetable product increased on
each of the many expeditions I
made to the spot, and at last I
saw a sight one day which made
me believe I had certainly discover
ed an unheard-of thing. A bird,
which I had watched circling about
for some time, finally settled on
the top of the tree, when the
branches began to awaken, as it
were, and to curl upwards. They
twined and twisted like snakes
about the bird, which began to
scream, and drew it down in their
fearful embrace until I lost sight of
it. Horror stricken, I seized the
nearest rock in an attempt to climb
the knob. I had so often tried in
vain to do this that I was not sur
prised when I fell back, but the
rock was loosened and fell also. It
narrowly missed me, but I sprang
up unhurt, and saw that the fallen
rock had left a considerable cavi
ty. I put my face to it and looked
in. Something like a cavern, the
floor of which had an upward ten
dency met my sight, and I felt a
current of fresh air blowing on me
with a dry, earthly smell. Evident
ly there was another opening some
where, undoubtedly at the summit.
Using my trowel, which I always
carried on my botanizing expedi-1
tions, I enlarged the hole, and then
pushed my way up through a pass
age. When I had nearly reached
the top I looked out cautiously to
see if I should emerge within reach
of that diabolical tree. But I found
it nowhere near the aperture, so I
sprang out. I was just in time to
see the flattened carcass of the bird
drop to the ground, which was cov
ered with bones and feathers. I
approached as closely as I dared
and examined the tree. It was low
in size, not more than twenty feet
high, but covering a great area. Its
trunk was of prodigious thickness,
knotted and scaly. From the top
of this trunk, a few feet from the
ground, its slimy branches curved
upward and downward, nearly
touched the ground with their ta
pering tips. Its appearance was
that of a gigantic tarantula await
ing its prey. On my venturing
to lightly touch one of the limbs,
it closed upon my hand with such
force that when I tore it loose the
skin came with it. I descended
then, and closing the passage re
turned home. I went back next
day carrying half a dozen chickens
with which to feed the tree. The
moment I tossed it the fowls, a
violent agitation shook its branches,
which swayed to and fro with a
sinuous, shaky motion. After de
vouring the fowls, these branches,
fully gorged, drooped to their form
er postion, and the tree, giving no
sign of animation, I dared approach
it and take the limbs in my hand.
They were covered with suckers,
resembling the tentacles of an oc
topus. The blood ot the fowls, had
been absorbed by the suckers, leav
ing crimson stains on the dark sur
face. There was no loliage, of
course, of any kind. Without
speaking ot my discovery of any
one about, I wrote an account of
it to the world-famous botanist,
Professor Wordenhaupt, of the
university of Heidelberg. His re
ply states that my tree is the Ar
bor Diaboli only two specimens of
which have ever been known, one
on a peak of the Himalayas and
the other on the island of Sumatra
Mine is the third. Professor Wor-
denhaup says that the Arbor Dia
boli and the plant known a3 Venus
fly-trap are the only known speci
mens, growing on the land, of those
forms of life which partake of the
nature of both animal and vegeta
ble kingdoms, although there are
instances too numerous to mention
found of this class in the sea. The
Portuguese man-of-war may be
mentioned, however, as one, and
the sponge as the best known speci
men of this class.
strictly Business.
What is the Swift Specific Com
pany? Who compose the organiza
tion? Is it a clap-trap patent med
icine humbug, gotten up to deceive
and make money out of the people?
These questions we think are
answered by the officials and citi
zens of our city and state
Atlanta, Ga. Nov. 10,188S.
We know the gentlemen compos
ing the Swift Specific Company.
They are prominent citizens of our
state, men of means and of high
character and standing.
W. A. Hemphill, Pres. Capital
City Bank.
S. H. Porter, Pres. Merchants’
Bank.
Paul Bomare, Vice-Pres. Atlanta
Nat. Bank.
Jxo. B. Gordon, Governor of Geor
gia.
Alfred II. Colquitt, U. S. Sena
tor.
J. T. Cooper, Mayor of Atlanta.
H. W. Grady, Editor Atlanta Con
stitution.
THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
I think Swift’s Specific is the best
blood remedy in the world. I have
known it to make some wonderful
cures of patients who were con
sidered incurable.
I). M. Grayson, Crowyille, La.
Treatise on blood and skin dis
eases mailed free.
The Swift Specific Co.,
Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga.
A Kcllc or the War.
Mrs. Chiner, mother of J. B.
Chiner, of Colquitt county, was a
matron in the Confederate hospital
at Florence, S. C., and she has a
well worn bucket made in the shape
of a half bucket, which she treas
ures very highly. It was given her
by a Confederate soldier who died
in the hospital, and she treasures it
above price. The soldier was a
beardless youth from Georgia who
had gone into the war and was
wounded in the defence of states’
right, the dignity of Georgia and
sacredness of home. Just before
his dissolution the boy soldier called
the good old lady to him, and with
tears in his eyes, toid her “he
should never see his mother again,”
and gaye her this bucket and
pocket edition of the New Testa
ment which had his name and
that of his mother written in it —
perhaps other names. This little
book, after the war, led to a corres
pondence between Mrs. Chiner and
the young man’s mother, and the
book was returned to her. Mrs.
Chiner keeps the little bucket with
jealous care in remembrance of the
little Confederate soldier who died
at Florence, S. C.
TEllRfRLE I ORE WA RNING.
Cough in the morning, hurried or
difficult breathing raising phlegm,
tightness in the chest, quickened
pulse, chilliness in the evening of
sweats at night, all or any of these
things are the first stages of con
sumption. Dr. Acker’s English
Remedy ior Consumption will
cure these fearful symptoms, and is
sold under a positive guarantee by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and
E. H. Pipkin, Midville.
A Corner in Heat.
New York, May 18.—A contract
was to-day signed by the controling
managers of the American Meat
Company and the American Cattle
Trust, by which, for a term of years,
the meat company will handle the
entire product of the cattle trust.
Ex-Senator Dorsey, one of the mov
ing spirits of the meat company,
expressed himself as well pleased
with the new arrangement. He
prelerred not to mention the details
of the cempact, but said that the
two organizations had not been
consolidated. “We have effected a
traffic agreement,” he said, “which
practically makes the American
Meat Company the agent of the
American Cattle Trust.”
PROMPTNESS.
First a cold, then a cough, then
consumption, then death. “I took
Dr. Acker’s English Remedy for
Consumption the moment I
began to cough, and I be
lieve it saved my life.”—Walter
N. Wallace. Sold by Whitehead
& Co., Waynesboro, and E. H, Pip
kin, Midyille.
The Jake Hole.
In the southern part of DeKalb
county is a small lake of water called
Jake Hole. This hole is only a wide
place in Snapfinger creek, but is
called a lake. There is a very
strange story connected with this
spot, which is as follows: During
slavery time Mr. J. Crockett of De-
Kalb county owned a very stubborn
negro named Jake, and had prom
ised a severe flogging if his rules
were again broken. In less than a
day Jake had gone contrary to his
master’s orders and fearing the
consequence fled (and some think
committed suicide) rather than
face his master with the deed.
When the horn was blown at even
ing Jake was missing. Mr. Crockett,
learning the cause of his absence, se
cured two well-trained bloodhounds
which were soon in hot pursuit of
the missing negro. After going at
full tilt for about a mile both dogs
came to a halt. Them'en who were
following hastened to the spot, and
in a few minutes came up with the
dogs, who had stopped on the banks
of this lake, but no negro was in
sight. Near the edge of the water
they found the clothes Jake had
been wearing. Mr. Crockett sus
pected at first this was done for a
blind, and that some one had fur
nished him with more clothes and
and he had gone. He tried in
vain to coax the dogs on, but to
no avail. After a careful search
of surroundings, they decided to
drag the pond. So alter securing
more help the process was begun.
At the first haul the line struck
something heavy. They began
pulling up the line and soon the
stiff form of poor Jake could be
seen in the moonlight. He was car
ried home aud buried, and nothing
more was thought of it until about
a month afterward a party of young
men went to the lake for a bath.
They had been in the water only a
short time when one of then dived
under the water and rose with an
astonished expression on his face,
and said: “Boys, something is in
this water strangling to death. Put
your head under the water and you
can hear it.” They did as he said,
and came up of the same opinion.
They did not wait to examine into
it or offer their assistance, but left
as soon as possible. A few days
afterward a settler had occasion
to pass the lake at night, and just
before he got opposite It he heard
a tremeudous splashing in the wa
ter and some one call for heip. He
called out to know what the trouble
was, and immediately everything
was painfully silent. Soon after
this another farmer, who is still
living near the spot, was on the
on the creek one night with
a friend fishing. When he
neared this snot he beared a rus
tling in the leaves and then a sud
den splash in the water. They had
heard of these tales and decided to
go and see what it was. They
went to the spot but could hear
nothing. They declare there was
water on the rock thrown up by the
splash. They went off a short dis
tance and listened, thinking his
ghostship would again appear, but
he did not.
Pimples, Sores, Aclies ami Talnes.
.When a hundred bottles of snraparilla or
other pretentious specifics fail to eradicate
in-born scrofula or contagious blood poison,
remember that B. B. B. (Botanic Blood
Balm) lias gained many thousand victories,
in ns many seemly incurable instances.—
Send to the Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga.,
for ‘‘Book of Wonders,” and be convinced. It
is the only true blood purifier.
G. W. Messrs, Howell’s X Roads, Ga.,
writes: “I was afflicted nine years with
sores. All the medicine I could take did me
no good. I then tried B. B. B., and 8 bottles
cured me sound,”
Mrs. S. M. Wilson, Rouna Mountain.Texas,
writes: “A lady friend of mine was troubled
with bumps and pimples on lier face aiul
neck. She took three bottles of B. B. B.. and
her skin got soft and smooth, pimples disap
peared, and lier health improved greatly.”
.las. L. Bosworth, Atlanta, Ga., writes:
••Some years ago I contracted blood poison.
I had no appetite, my digestion was ruined,
rheumatism drew up my limbs so I could
hardly walk, my throat was cauterized five
times. Hot Springs gave me no benefit, and
my life was one of torture until I gave B. B.
B. a trial, and, surprising as it may seem,
the use of five bottles cured me.”
Through a Bridge.
Nashville, Tenn., May 18.—A
terrible accident on the Lebanon
branch of the Nashville, Chatta
nooga and St. Louis railroad about
nine miles from this city about 4
o’clock this afternoon. A bridge
across Stone river caught fire from
a passsing train. Seventeen men,
two whites and fifteen negroes,
who were working on the road
near by, went to the bridge and
took an engine on it with the in
tention of extinguishing the fire
with water from the tender. The
bridge gaye way, carrying the
engine into the river, fifty
feet below. William Morgan,
(white), the engineer, received
internal injuries. Fireman Charles
Gripple, (also white) had his leg
broken, and received other serious
injuries. Three of the negro labor
ers were killed and six were in
jured, four dangerously.
—Largest assortment of plain and
fancy crackers at C. E. Scherer’s.
A Traveling Hountain.
Chicago Herald.
Such a mountain is found at the
cascades of the Columbia, Oregon.
It is a huge triple-peaked mass of
dark brown basaltsix or eightmiles
in length, where it fronts the river
and rises to a height of almost two
thousand feet above the water.
That it is in motion is the last
thought that would be likely to
suggest itself to the mind of any
one passing it; yet it is a well es
tablished fact that this entire moun
tain is moving slowly but steadily
toward the river as if it had a delib
erate purposes some time in the
future to dam the Columbia and
form a great lake from the cascades
to the Dalles. Two Indian tradi
tions indicates immense move
ments of the mountains hereabouts
long before white men came to Ore-
gon, and early settlers, immigrants,
many of them from New England,
gave the above described ridge the
name of “traveling mountain” or
“sliding mountain.”
In its forward and downward
movement the base of the ridge have
become submerged in the river.—
Large tree stdbs can be seen stand
ing deep in the water on this shore.
The railway engineer and the track
men find that the line of the rail
road which skirts the foot of the
mountain is being continually
forced out of place. At certain
points the road bed and rails have
been pusned 8 or 10 feet out of line
in the course of a few years.
The mountain is manifestly mov
ing upon the river, and it is stated
that geologists attribute this strange
phenomenon to the fact that the
basalt which constitutes the bulk of
the mountain rests on a substratum
of conglomerate, or of soft sand
stone, which the deep, swift current
of the mighty river is constantly
wearing away; or that this softer
subrock is of itself yielding, at great
depths, to the enormous weight of
the harder material above.
A ship canal and a series of very
expensive locks for facilitating
navigation on the Columbia have
been determined on at the Cas-
! cades abreast of this ridge, and
large appropriations of money from
the national treasury have been
made for the work by congress. It
remains to be seen how “traveling
mountain” will affect the heavy
masonry of these structures.
$500 Keivaril.
The former proprietor of Dr.
Sage’s Catarrh Remedy, for years
made a standing, public offer in
all Ameriean newspapers of $500
reward for a case of catarrh that
he could not cure. The present pro
prietors have renewed this offer.
All the druggists sell this remedy
together with the “Douche,” and all
other appliances advised to be used
in connection with it. No catarrh
patient is longer able to say “I can
not be cured.” You get $500 in case
of failure.
Attacked by a Dog-eater.
C. J. Jackson and C. II. Keller
have written the following letter
to the Meriwether Vindicator, un
der the head of “Attacked by a Dog-
eater:” Last Sunday night about
2 o’clock we were crossing the
bridge oyer Muse creek on our way
home. Our pointer dog had fol
lowed us without our consent. The
dog was a few rods ahead of us
when we heard him bark. In the
dim moonlight we could see a dark
object moving toward the,dog which
we supposed to be a negro boy.
The pointer stood baying until the
dark object, coming near, sprang
upon the dog, killing it instantly.
We at once opened fire on the hide
ous monstrosity as it scampered
away, taking the dog toward the
jungle. We would probably have
captured the ferocious beast if our
horse had not become so fright
ened as to be almost unmanagable.
By the time he was quieted down
the dog-eater, with his victim, was
out of sight. Out of the ten shots
we fired at the demon we think,
judging from the noise it made, it
was wounded four times. We were
not frightened in the least, but our
horse was. While we were calm
and collected as possible under the
circumstances, our night visits will
be scarce about the Muse bridge
from now on. It is an animal the
like of which we never saw before
and we are not curious te see it
again unless dead or alive in an
iron cage. Would it not be well
to offer a fifty dollar reward for the
capture of this vicious animal?
Some human being may be the next
victim. We will head the list by
offering $10.
TAKE IT IN TIME.
“For want of a nail, a shoe was
lost; for want of a shoe, a horse was
lost; for want of a horse a rider was
lost.” Never neglect small things.
The first signs of pneumonia and
consumption can positively be
checked by Dr. Acker’s English
Remedy for Consumption. Sold by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and
E. H. Pipkin, Midville.
Four Milos a Minute.
New York, May 19.—A newj
’ scheme of transportation is to be I
i introduced between New York and
Boston, whereby, it is said, large j
packages of mail and even cars j
containing passengers can be!
whisked from one place to another,!
a distance of 200 miles, in less than j
an hour. This would be equal to j
a speed of four miles per minute, j
An experiment with the new ma
chine was held yesterday in Boston
in the presence of many scientists,
including Professor A. E. Dolbear,
of Tufts college, who announced
that he was thoroughly satisfied of
the success ot the system.
The inventor, John G. Williams,
is a resident of this city. His ina-j
chine consists of a magnetic car
hanging from a single rail, where
it follows a streak of electricity.
With one horse power it is said
that one ton can be thus transport
ed a distance of 1,440 miles a day at
a cost of thirty cents. This in mail-
matter, would represent 2,880,000
letters, and by this system pack
ages of mail could be sent off every
five minutes if necessary, thus pre
venting large accumulations. The
single track is to be carried on
tripods some distance above the
ground, and the car will pass
through coils of insulated wire at
intervals.
In the experiments yesterday the
carriage exhibited was mounted
on a wooden track, and posts
about three feet high, with an as
cent of six inches in fifty feet, and
it ran on one wheel at each end.
The scientific principle involved is
said to be that by which a hollow
coil of insulated wire will draw a
magnet into itself, and in the aerial
railway the car passing through a
coil cuts off the current which goes
or to one ahead.
Terrible Slaughter.
Thousands of lives were needless
ly sacrificed last year in this coun
try, and other lives are being as
wantonly sacrificed to-day. Dis
ease is grinding many down into
the dust of death who might be
well. Mark those initials, lor there
by hangs a tale: “G. M. D.” They
stand for Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medi
cal discovery, which is unequaled
for imparting vigor and tone to the
liver and kidneys, in purifying the
blood, and through it cleansing and
renewing the whole system. For
scrofulous humors, and consump
tion (or lung-scrofula), in its early
stages, it is a positive specific. It
is sold under a positive guarantee
of benefitting or curing in every
case, on being given a fair trial, or
money paid for it will be refunded.
A Woman in Man’s Attire.
West Point, May IS.—A white
woman who lives on Dr. James
Perry’s place just across the river
from West Point’ in Chambers
county, Ala., has for some time
been the subject of criticism, from
the fact that she dresses in men’s
clothes and lives in the house wflth
a negro man known as “Old Jake.”
The woman claims the name of
Harris, is 30 years old, and has a 14-
year-old daughter who attends the
colored public school of the neigh
borhood. The woman is handsome,
intelligent, and is said to be a most
industrious field hand. For three or
four years she has kept her sex a
secret—by wearing men’s clothing
and short hair. She and “Old Jake”
have been customers of Messrs.
A. M. Eaday & Co. ever since they
came to chambers county, nearly
four years ago.
The explanation of this strange
case is not known, but it is sup
posed that the unfortunate woman
left her native county (Wilkes) in
disgrace and hoped, in a strange
land among strangers, to disguise
herself and spend the remainder
of her wretched life with the old
negro, to whom she seems to be
strongly attached. An investiga
tion of the case has been set on foot,
and in all probability many inter
esting points will be developed,
ed. The young and inocent girl
ought, to say the least, be taken
away from her unnatural associates,
and saved from a life of shame.
A Marshal Sated—Life and llalr.
Monticello, Fla., Jan. 21st, 1889.
Messrs. Lippman, Bros.—Sa
vannah, Ga., proprietors P. P. P.:—
For the past eight years I have
been in bad health, suffering with
malaria, rheumatism, dyspepsia,
dropsy, my digestion was bad and
my hair all came out. In fact I
was nearly a wreck. I had taken
kidney and blood medicines which
did me no good. When I began
taking P. P. P. about three months
ago. I was as weak as a child. I
have only taken four bottles (small
size) and to-day I am a well man
and my hair has “come again.” I
cannot recommend P. P. P. too
highly. W. F. Ware,
Marshal Monticello, Fla.,
Witness: F. C. Owens.
—Call on Mulherrin, Rice & Co.
Augusta, Ga., for boots, shoes, slip
pers and hats. tf
—All goods strictly first-class at
{Scherer’s.
L. C. Hatkb, J.T. Newbebv,
President. Cashier.
Planters Iioan 4 Savings Bank,
821 Broad St., AUGUSTA, GA.
Capital—All Paid in Cash, 1100,000.
With Stockholders liability which guaran
tees absolute safety to all depositors.
This is the oldest Savings Bank in this city
with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years.
It transacts a general Banking business in
all of its branches, and is authorized to re
ceive and disburse money, securities or prop
erty in trust, and to act as financial agent- for
any person firm or corporation.
Jskdf“ Interest allowed on deposits in tlffc
Savings Department. apr2o,'S9-by
Moral furniture—upright colonial
chairs.
Neighbobs—all horses named
Robert.
The magician’s means of support
is sleight.
The hotel keeper has an inn-de
pendent existence.
The knell of the London Times
appears to be Par-nell.
It’s a wise champagne cork that
knows its own popper.
The girl who has a beau too many
is annoyed by a sir-plus.
A swallow may not make a sum
mer but a frog makes a spring.
It must bo the spur of the mo
ment that makes time go so fast.
A fight with moonshiners should
take place “oft in the stilly night.”
To get the lay of the land one
must procure a copy of the nation
al air.
Wisps of straw by the hay scales
are bits that have fallen by the
weigh side.
A clock is very different from a
man. When It strikes it keeps right
on working.
“I have been in a country,” said
a Nebraska preacher, “where the
hand of man has never set a foot.”
The skillful cook may not know
much about Shakespeare and Mil-
ton but she is well up on Brown
ing.
There are lots of loiks, men and
women, going round in good clothes
who carrv hearts as heavy as a bag
of salt.
“You can’t do anything without
money, my boy.” “Oh yes you can.”
“I’d like to know what.” “Get in
debt.”
Husband—“Wife, Dr. Smith, the
chiropodist, will dine with us to
day.” Wife—“All right; I’ll order
corned beef.”
“Those Thompsons are a bad lot.
Three out of the four ought to be in
the penitentiary.” “And the
fourth?” “He’s there.”
The man with a glass eye has the
great consolation that he is putting
on more style than his neighbor; he
has a stained glass window to his
soul.
He—How beautiful Miss Arrow-
smith’s back hair is! She—Yes,
much prettier than her front hair.
I wonder she didn’t get it all at the
same place.
Young doctor—“Well, I’ve got a
case at last.” Young lawyer—“Glad
to hear it. When you get him to
a point where he wants a will
drawn, telephone over.”
The man who was blown thirty
feet in the air out in a Pennsylva
nia town, while repairing a natural
gas main, remarked that he had
been thrown out of work.
“I say Jenkins, can you tell a
young chicken from an old one?”
“Of course I can.” “Well how?”
“By the tj£th.” “Chickens don’t
have teeth.” “No but I have.”
Amateur Hubert—“Me lud, five
moons w r ere seen to-night, four
fixed and the other didn’t whirl!”
Muffled voice from the audience —
“Did jever—hie—try bromide?”
“We had a cane presentation
down at school to-day,” said Wil
liam after an unusual long silence
at the supper table. “Ah, indeed!
And who got the cane?” “I did.”
Agent for jewelry house—“I’ve
got a fine line of diamonds I’d like
to show you.” Man addressed—
“You’ve made a mistake, sir. I am
the proprietor of this hotel, not the
clerk.”
“Papa,” asked the small boy,“why
do some dudes wear only one eye
glass?” “Because, my sod,” answer
ed his father, “they are not able to
comprehend all that they might see
with both eyes.”
Grocer—Well, sonny, what can I
do for you? Sonny—Me mudder
sent me back wid the butter and
wine. She sed she ordered new
butter an’ old wine, an’ she thinks
you’ve got the wintages mixed up.
Maiden Lady—I think I will visit
a chiropodist while I am in the
city.
Friend—Have you corns ?
M. L.—No.
F.—Bunions?
M. L.—No.
F.—Why, then, visit a chiropo
dist?
M. L.—I want to have it to say
that I had a man at my feet once
in my life.
A great mistake perhaps was made when
Dr. Sherman named his great remedy Prick
ly Ash Bitters; but it is presumed at that
time all remedies for the blood, etc., were
called Bitters. Had he called it Prickly
Ash “Regulator,” “Curative” or almost any
thing but bitters, it undoubtedly would have
surperseded all other preparations of similar
character. The name bitters is misleading;
it is purely a medicine, aud cannot be used
as a beverage
—Subscriptions are always cash.