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Sullivan Brothers, Publishers.
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L. C. IIAYJTE, 3.T. jtEWUERY,
President. Cashier.
Planters Loan § Savings Ban&*
821 Broad St.. AUGUSTA, GA.
Capital—Ail Paid in Cash, 1100,000.
Yolume 8.
POSITIV E L Y C A S H.!
Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, June 8th, 1889.
Number 6.
With Stockholders liability which guaran
tees absolute safety to all depositors.
This is the oldest Savings Bank in tills city
with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years.
It transacts a general Banking business in
all of its branches, and is authorized to re
ceive and disburse money, securities or prop
erty in trust, and to act as financial agent for
any person firm or corporation.
Interest allowed on deposits in the
Savings Department. aprJO/89-by
Georgia raised peaches dur
ing the past week have found their
way into the northern markets.
£J3f Atlanta whisky has already
caused some of the occupants of
the McPherson barracks to wander
into forbidden paths.
In Savannah for the first
five months of the present year the
ordinary issued S2 marriage
license to whites and 218 to colored
applicants.
Dr. S. P. Moore, of Rich
mond, Va., died suddenly on last
Friday from congestion of the lungs,
lie was the surgeon-general of the
Confederacy.
&SF Mahone has secured the
love and affection of President
Harrison and controls the patron
age of the grand old common
wealth of Virginia.
Comm indented.
Is the Public Teat Sucked by the Public or by
Pets.
&SF Judge Van Epps, of Atlan
ta, has sentenced another knight
of the pastfe board to twelve months
work on the chain gang for prac
ticing his profession.
ggF A Philadelphia paper es
timates that European tourists
from that city alone will spend this
season $4,000,000 of money in seeing
the sights across the big pond.
Americans who are so
stingy at home that they are abso
lutely mean, when they place their
feet on foreign shores spend their
money like a lord. “All the fools
are not yet dead.”
gj8F“ Three northern bank cash
iers have recently abandoned the
superintendency of their Sunday
schools and are rusticating in Cana
da. “They left their country” with
their country’s goods.
The Republican members
of the Rhone Island legislature
numbering from 75 to 100, have
been detected as bribe takers.
Their voles were bought and the
prices paid "ranged from $25 to
$100.
gjBF The sultan of Turkey has
come to the conclusion that he is
“‘too muchly married,” and makes a
little beginning in the way of re
formation by dropping the names
of three hundred of his wives from
his roll call.
Secretary Blaine has chiv-
alously come to the rescue of the
three American ladies who were
placed in durance vile by a French
millionaire. Ample satisfaction
will be given with the understand
ing that the like shall not occur
again.
The Central railroad hauled
4,105 people to the national ceme-
tary at Andersonvllle to witness
the decoration of the soldiers
graves. Excursion trains were run
from all the large towns along the
line of roads, and the crowds gath
ered in spite of the inclement
weather.
The Atlanta Colored Uni-
versity has also been discovered
in hiding away property from tax
ation. Its officers at first were dis
posed to kick when the collector
pounced down upon them, but after
consulting with Comptroller-Gener
al Wright they acknowledged the
corn and will pay up.
In Pennsylvania, Virginia,
Indianna, Illinois and all of the
country the wind and rain storms
on last Thursday were very violent
and did great damage. As soon
as the storms subsided the cold
weather set in and there was snow
and frost in abundance. All ten
der vegetation, was seriously dam
aged and great injury was done
to the vegetable and fruit crops.
Prize Fighter John Sulli
van says that he is poor, and at
present entirely dependent, though
he has made during his life over a
halt million dollars. He realized
■$125,000 in about a year and a half,
hut he let it go as freely as it came.
He intends to make one more ex
hibition of his pluck and muscle
%nd if successful will retire from
the ring and set up in the hotel
business.
A brother in black perloin-
eu a copy of the list of questions
prepared by the state school com
missioner to be used in the exami
nation of colored applicants for
teachers license, and copies taken
from it were sold freely for $1 each.
A graduate of the Atlanta univer
sity was detected in carrying the
answers into the examination room.
The examination was on this ac
count postponed by commissioner
Hook and other sets of questions
were prepared and propounded.
—Call on Mulherrin, Rice & Co.
Augusta, Ga., for boots, shoes, slip
pers and hats. tf
Editors Citizen: Burke county is
a great and good old mammal who
supports a large brood of mamifer-
ous creatures who, of course, delight
in pulling the public teat. Now,
then, if this mammal be supported
by the public, it certainly seems just
and right that these public mammi-
fiers should, after some regular
order, pull the public teats. But, if
one of this brood should chance to
express a belief or even to think,
that the precious where-with-all
flows too freely to his brother com
panions, and if he should be so hold
as to squeak and murmur and to
demand his honest pro rata share
with the others, then this magnani
mous old mother mammal kicks,
and withdraws the precious drug
saying, “get thee hence ;”“if sucking
the public teat cause thee to offend
me, thou shalt squeeze it no more
while the world standeth.” Proba
bly no such case has ever occurred,
either in Burke county, or even in
the state of Georgia, as the recent
case of the County School Commis
sioners, with Prof. L. A. Murphey,
of Keysville.
In this case there can be nothing
personal, for the writer does not
know any of the parties constitut
ing the board, nor does he personal
ly know Prof. Murphey, therefore,
the views are set forth just as they
present themselves to an unbiased
looker-on.
The action of the county school
board in the above case seems to
resolve itself simply into this: “We
are the sovereign arbiters of the
horde of mamifiers; the sway of
our sceptre is not to be criticised;
our decrees are final, everlastingly
irrevokable, unimpeachable, and
unassailable—absolutely unappeal
able, not-to-be-touched-with-a-twen-
ty-foot-pole. ‘There must he no
whimpering or whining about our
sacred shrine; if you wish to im
bibe our precious portion, kneel
quietly at the altar ot our tribunal
and receive just such a drug as we
choose to give’—notice our motto:
‘no whimpering aloud ’ ” (allowed.)
The writer takes this view of the
facts, the people ot Keysville paid
their portion of the school tax and
most certainly they ought to re
ceive their share of the public
school funds, nor should they be
interrupted in the selection of their
teacher. Every community has its
choice for a teacher, and how in the
world can a community get its
choice unless it has its privilege ot
choosing? If a teacher stands his
examination and teaches the boons
prescribed by the county board,
then that teacher has discharged
his whole duty to that board, they
are, if justice resembles justice,
bound by ail the laws of right and
reason, to give him a contract.
What were the charges against
Prof. Murphey ? Was it immorali
ty or negligence ol duty, or incom
petency, or was it simply because
he had the manliness to speak what
he thought about the action of the
board as public servants? The last
mat/ not be, but if Imputation and
strong circumstances which lead
directly to the door of truth, will
give you satisfaction, you shall have
it. Yea, the evidence of common
reason would speak though tongues
were out of fashion. If either of
the first charges, or both combined
were made, let common sense and
experience answer by asking this
question, do tne good people of a
community voluntarily seek out
and contend for a man of profligate
habits, or a man slothful in busi
ness? Supposing both of these
charges to be true, (which cannot
be admitted and which certainly
was not proven,) does it not argue
a remarkable degree of stupidity
on these and former inemhers of
the board vho took over twenty
years to find out these things? If
incompetency be the charge let his
examination papers testify. What
is the conclusion ? Simply that Prof.
Murphey has had the mauliness to
criticise their doings, thereby incur
ring their ill-will. Then look at the
trial of the case. Who were the
prosecutors? The county board.
Who was the defendant? Prof.
Murphey. Who was judge? One
of the board. Who were the jurors?
The board themselves. Who were
the lawyers? Well, that matters
very little, the decision is inevitable,
and there is no appeal from their
decision. Isn’t that strange?—
The Shah of Persia is not more ab
solute in his decision! No appeal?
Then, had they the inclination, they
could import a cargo of South-Sea
Islanders and station them in the
various localities for teachers and
though we chafe and sputter and
fret, yet we must stand it; for there
is no appeal. If this is really the
law, how appropriately can we ex
claim: Georgia, thou hast produced
thy Stephens and Brown and Hill
and Toombs and Gordon and Gra
dy, “but lackest thou one thing yet
—a perfect, impartial law!” Prob
ably, Prof. Murphey wrote some
thing that stung the better feelings
of the board. It so. they should re
sent it personally and not wreak
their vangeance on him by an at
tempt to expel him from the coun
county. Isn’t the law taking a step
backwards? They would revive
the alien and sedition laws; or bet
ter still, the old time ostracism.—
And does the board allow them
selves to be “bootlicked ?” a promi
nent citizen says so. Oh! how this
old mother mammal kicks when
she is exposed to the public with a
few of these pet mamifiers—those
that she allows to “bootlick”—cling
ing tenaciously to the much-cher
ished drugs of the fountain free
This boycotting of Prof. Murphey is
a piece of flagrant injustice prompt
ed solely by prejudice and personal
animosity. Yours, etc., ZigZag.
‘IS (>OD WE TRUST.’
How This Motto Came to be Stamped on United
States Coins.
Farming I’ajs.
Said Thomas Jaynes, of Albany:
“I would rather run a two-horse
larm than work for a salary of
$200 per month in Albany. About
five years ago I had been merchan
dising in Dawson. Burglars broke
into my 3tore through the transon
and literally ruined me. I came
back to the country without a dol
lar. My wife had sixty-five acres
of land upon which we settled. I
could not buy a mule on time to
cultivate my crop without good in
dorsement, which I obtained, and
started to work. Afterward I
bought a farm of oyer 300 acres on
credit, which I have since paid for;
and now I work four mules and
make forty or fifty bales of cotton
annually. My boys are growing
up and help me on the farm. I am
now worth over $5,000, haye enough
corn and meat to last me through
another season and pay cash for
all I buy. Fifteen years ago,” con
tinued Nr. Jaynes, “Henry Nelms
did not have money enough to hire
one negro. Now he is one of the
largest stock raisers in the state
and makes 200 bales af cotton an
nually.” Mr. Nelms’ plantation is
finely improved and presents the
picture of a prosperous country
home.
TheStrangp Resting Place of a .Southern Woman.
A Calhoun special to Atlanta
Constitution, dated June 2d, says:
The following letter has been re
ceived by the postmaster here from
Dr. H. L. Flake, of Lousville, Ivy.:
“While attending to the decora
tion to-day ot the Confederate
graves in Cave Hill cemetery.
I found among the number of Con
federate soldiers buried there one
Elizabeth Temms, who masked her
self and fought under the Confeder
ate flag, and died here Oct. 1st, 1867,
and the inscription on the stone
was that she was born in Calhoun,
Ga., died at the age of 28 years, and
her last words w’ere, ‘Bury me with
my people.’
“These few lines may be a relief
to some of her dear relatives, if you
will be so kind as to make inquiry
or have same published in some ol
your Georgia papers.
“And if any further particulars
are required, write me, and 1 will
give them with pleasure.
Severe Cases of Blood Poison.
Thousands suffer from blood poison, who
would be cured if they gave B B B, (Botan
ic Blood Balm) a trial, Send to the Blood
Balm Co, Atlanta, Ga, for hook of wonderful
cures, that convince the most skeptical, It
is sent free.
J O Gibson, Meridian, Miss, writes: “For
a number of years I suffered untold agonies
from blood poison, Several prominent phy
sicians did me little if any good, I began
to use B B B with very little faith, but, to
my utter surprise it has made me a well and
hearty person.”
Z T Ha
allerton, Macon, Ga, writes: “I con
tracted blood poison, I first tried physi
cians, and then went to Hot. Springs, I re
turned home a ruined man physically,
Nothing seemed to do me any good, My
mother persuaded me to try B B B, To my
utter astonishment every ulcer quickly
liealed.”
BenJ Morris, Atlanta, Ga, writes: “I suf
fered years from syphilitic blood poison
which refused to be cured by all treatment,
physicians pronounced it a hopeless case,
I had 110 appetite. I had pains in hips and
joints and my kidneys were diseased. My
throat was ulcerated and my breast a
mass of running sores. In this condition I
commenced a use of B B B, It healed every
ulcer and sore and cured me completely
within two months.”
Tbe Clover Yield.
Cumming Clarion.
Dr. A. Strickland cut six thous
and pounds of clover from one
acre of ground. This at one
and one-half cents per pound, is
worth $90. Another cutting this
year will yield at least $50, making
a total of $140. Though sown on
poor land, he expended only $10
for tertiiizers, and $10 will pay for
the work done. This leaves a clear
profit of $120. Doesn’t thi3 beat
cotton by upwards of a good deal ?
IJ. I. Eoster, G. E. Sims’ W. J.
Grooyer and F. H. Mulline also
had fine patches.
A SAD STORY.
The child coughed. The mother
ran. No remedy was near. Before
morning the poor little sufferer
was dead. Moral: Always keep
Dr. Acker’s English Remedy at
hand. Sold by Whitehead, & Co.,
Waynesboro, and E. H. Pipkin,
MIdville.
Indianapolis Journal.
The motto, “In God We Trust,”
which Is now stamped on all gold
and silver coins of United States
money, was suggested by an honest,
God-fearing old farmer of the state
of Maryland. This conscientous
Christian thought that our national
coinage should indicate the chris
tian characters of the nation, and
by introducing a motto upon our
coins expressed a national reliance
on Divine support of our govern
mental affairs. In 1861, when Sal
mon P. Chase, was secretary ot the
treasury, he wrote him and suggest
ed that, as we claim to be a chris
tian people, we should make suita
ble recognition of that fact on our
coinage. The letter was referred
to the director ot the mint, James
Pollock, a Puritanic Christian, of
Pennsylvania. In Mr. Pollock’s
report for 1862 he discussed the
question of a recognition of the
sovereignty of God and our trust
in Him on our coins. The propo
sition to introduce a motto upon
our coins was favorably considered
by Mr. Chase, and in the report he
said he did not doubt, but believed
that it would meet with an approv
al by an intelligent public senti
ment. But congress gave no atten
tion to the suggestion, and in his
next annual report he again re
ferred to the subject, this time in a
firm theological argument, and
says:
“The motto suggested, “God our
Trust,” is taken from our national
hymn, “TheStar Spangled Banner.”
The sentiment is familiar to every
citizen of our country ;it has thrilled
the hearts and fallen in song from
the lips of millions of American
freemen. The time is propitous;
’tis an hour of national peril and
danger, an hour when man’s
strength is weakness, when our
strength and salvation must be of
God. Let us reverently acknowl
edge. His sovereignty, and let our
coinage declare our trust in God.”
A 2 cents bronze piece was au
thorized to be coined by congress
the following year, April 22d, 1864,
and upon this was first stamped
the motto, “In God We Trust.” In
his report of that year he expressed
his approval of the act, and strong
ly urged that the recognition of
trust be extended to the gold and
silver coins of the United States.
By the fifth session of the act of
congress of March 3d, 1S65, the di
rector of the mint, with the approv
al of the secretary of the treasury,
was authorized to place upon all
the gold and silver coins of the
United States, susceptible of such
additions, thereafter to be issued
the motto, “In God We Trust.”
Dare Devils In Masks.
A queer Abode.
There is an old man on the upper
Savannah, living on the Georgia
side of the river, who has not lived
in a house since the earthquake
of 1886. An old oak, with inviting
limbs, has been his place of aDode
since the shake-up referred to.
During the earthquake his house
was stirred violently, the chimney
tumbling in, and he ran from it.
A negro was employed to bring
him from the building such articles
as he needed, and he has built him
self a sleeping place in the limbs
of the tree, a stout canvas is his
only shelter from the rain. His
cooking is done on the ground, anti
his reception room is the grassy
spot under the shade of the oak.
The least rumbling will cause his
precipitate rush to terrafirrna, and
he will instantly jump to the
ground at tbe sound of thunder or
seeing a flash of lightning.
SIou-Ejre-SiRbed.
Sioux is pronounced Soos, there
fore, Siou would be “Soo.” Eye is
pronounced “I,” and sighed is pro
nounced as though spelt “side.”
Yet S-i-o-u-e-y-e-s-l-g-h-e-d won Id
be regarded as a most peculiar way
of spelling suicide. It is is an ugly
thins - however you spell it, yet
thousands of women are practical
ly guilty of it. Day after day,
week after week, they endure that
dull pain in the back, that terrible
“dragging-down” sensation that
tells of weakness and functional
disorder, and do absolutely nothing
to effect a cure. In a few years
a broken-hearted husband and
motherless children will follow her
to the grave. False delicacy pre
vents consulting a physician, hut
even this is not nescessary. Dr.
Pierce’s Favorite Prescription has
cured thousands of such women.
To suffer and to die when this
would cure is plain, unmistakable
suicide. It is guaranteed to give
satisfaction, or money paid for it re
funded.
WHY WOMEN FADE.
Women loose their beauty be
cause colds undermine their life.
Dr. Acker’s English Remedy for
Consumption is an absolute cure for
colds. Sold by Whitehead & Co.,
Waynesboro, and E. H. Pipkin,
Midville.
-Subscriptions are always cash.
Savannah News.
Swainsboro, Ga., June 4.—Yes
terday morning John Norris, a
farmer living about three miles
east of here, in company with his
wife, and his wife’s mother, a Mrs.
Jones, came to town and swore out
warrants for the arrest of Joshua
Kemp and John Bart Sconyers,
charging them with rape. The
writer interviewed Mr. Norris, hus
band of one of the unfortunate
women, and learned the particulars
as about as follows: On last Sat
urday night about 9 o’clock, Mr.
Norris started out to his lot to feed
his horse, and on getting to his gate
he saw two men coming down the
road seemingly with their heads
hanging down.
When they got in a few feet of
him he discovered that they were
masked and he made a dash for the
house to get his shotgun, the men
following in close pursuit. As Mr.
Norris was about entering his
house they fired at him with a pis
tol, missing him about six inches,
but which caused Mr. Norris to
halt. They told Mr. Norris and
the women that they did not want
to hurt any of them and not to b
frightened; that they only wanted
to have a talk with the women.
They took the women and Mr,
Norris, and when a little way from
the house they sent Mr. Norris
back, telling him not to go out of
the house, that it was well guarded
with about forty-five men, that if
he did he would be shot down. Mr.
Norris says while the two men
were away with the women he
heard some one around the house.
The two men carried the women to
the swamp, where the;, issaulted
them. They did not r ii n with
them until about 12 o’clock, when
they made Mr. Norris get them
half a gallon of wine, which they
paid him for. When they took a
drink of the wine in the house they
lifted up their masks and both were
recognized. Sheriff Moore and a
posse of men went out yesterday
evening to arrest them.
Successful Business Men.
Who are our most successful
business men? Go out on the
street and look them over. You
won’t find them men who have
pale cheeks. They are not thin,
emaciated men. They are not ner
vous, irritable men. They are men
whose faces inditate robust health.
Men with good blood, and plenty
of it. That’s the secret of their
success. A man whose blood it
thin and weak and poisoned with
impurities, is never successful like
his healthy neighbor. You cannot
expect him to be, for without rich,
strong, nourishing blood he will
lack the “vim” and “push” which
the man must have who would suc
ceed. Such men should use Dr.
Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery
to restore their impoverished blood
to its normal condition. By the
use of this great blood-purifier and
builder-up of the system, they may
put themselves in a condition
which will enable them to win the
success they are anxious to achieve.
Macon Telegraph, June, .Id.
Capt. B. D. Lumsden brought
into the city a few days ago speci
mens of the bloom of the switch
cane, common to the swamps about
here. He found this specimen on
the banks of a small creek in Jas
per county. The captain says that
this is the first, bloom of the cane
that he has ever seen, although he
has been in and about the woods
and creeks for the past forty years,
It is said that the cane blooms
only once in about twenty years,
and that it is an invariable sign of
a fine crop year. The bloom re
sembles very much a lull head of
barley without the beard.
Late habits—Night gowns.
A head gardner—The barber.
Court plasters—Awards for dam
ages.
Usually make a good impression
—Moulders.
Tbe? Should Maho Returns.
Atlanta Constitution.
The importance of administrators,
executors and guardians making
annua] returns to the ordinary is
brought out in a case in Oglethorpe
county which will probably come
before the courts. Thirty years ago
an old lady died and left $155 to a
nephew, then a child. The father
of the child was made his guardian
and received this bequest. The
father recently died, and having
failed to make proper returns to
the ordinary and no receipt for the
money being found among his pa
pers, the heir now claims the
amount with interest, all of which
amounts in the neighborhood of
$1,200.
The hotel keeper has an inn-de-
pemlent existence.
The knell of Lhe London Times
appears to be Par-nell.
The girl who has a beau too many
is annoyed by a sir-plus.
Waiter’s epitaph—He couldn’t
wait any longer, so he went.
Girls who use powder don’t go off
any quicker thah those who don’t.
Even the most unemotional man
cau’t contain himself when he goes
to sea.
Better to be a loan than in
company was not written of
umbrellas.
bad
our
When a man is lost in thought he
really doesn’t care to have any one
look for nim.
The following Georgia students
were graduated from the Peabody
Normal college, of of Nashville,
Tenn., on May 29th, 18S0:
Mary L. Aldredge, Atlanta; Mary
J. Cain, Adairville; John Gibson,
Thomson; Susan E. Jordan, Craw-
fordsville, Dora I. Rawls,Marshall-
ville; Fermor Barrett, Washington;
Jennie T Clarke, Esom’sHill; Mat-
tie Haygood; Oxford; Alice Napier,
LaFayette; Maud S. Thompkins,
Grantville.
There were thus vacated ten
Peabody scholarships worth $200 a
year and good for two years, and
these prizes will be awarded by
State Superintendent Hook on
competitive examination. This is
a rare opportunity for young men
and young women who aspire to
the highest places in the new’ pro
fession.” Students who may fail
to secure scholarships may still
enter the college where tuition and
use of books is free.
Learn the brick-mason’s trade if
you w’ish an occupation in which
you can lay up something.
Even the tiger is not without
affection. He is very much attach
ed to his paw and maw.
The railway sandwich is an in
stance where they never succeed in
making both ends meat.
Lobsters and babies are alike in
one respect. They will both turn
red when they get into hot water.
Tommy—“What did your mother
do for vour cut finger?” Little
Johnnie—“Licked me for cutting it.”
He (tenderly)—“May I see yen
pretty soon ?” She (reproachfully)
—“Don’t you think I am pretty
now ?”
A Music boring Pigeon.
Macon Telegraph, June 3d.
Two or three Sundays
past a
snow white pigeon flew from the
roof of the First Baptist church in
Atlanta, and alighted on the Tal-
madge house next door. While
the beautiful bird was pluming his
shining feathers the organist began
playing the organ. The pigeon
seemed interested, and walking
down to the eaves of the building
stood craning his neck, first on one
side and then on the other, as if to
catch every strain of the sweetly
sounding notes. When the piece
had been concluded the bird ruffled
up his feathers and drew one leg up
as if in meditation. When the
next piece of music was played
and the choir joined in, the pigeon
seemed to awake, leaned tar over
and then flew across to the church
window, hanging on the sash and
beating his wings against the glass
as if to draw nearer to the magical
organ. Unable to retain his foot
hold the bird hovered in front of
the window and then flew back
to its perch on the roof, where it
was seen over the top of the lower
ed window listening eagerly to the
music within. When it was over
he resumed his meditative attitude,
but was all attention when the
music sounded out again. Three
times while the song was in pro
gress did the bird perch upon the
sash, beat his stainless wings
against the window glass, hover
for a moment at the opening and
then fly back to the house. When
the music ceased and the sermon
was begun the pigeon flew away
and was seen no more.
TERRIBLE.
Two-thirds of ali death3 in
New York City are from consump
tion or pneumonia. The same pro
portion holds for most other cities.
Delays are dangerous. Dr. Acker’s
English Remedy for Consumption
will always relieve, and may save
your life. Sold by Whitehead &
Co., Waynesboro, and E. H. Pipkin,
Midville.
A queer Temperance Lair.
Chicago Herald.
A new temperance law which
possesses undoubted merits has
lately been adopted by Denmark
the country to which the distin
guished Illinoisan, Clark E. Carr,
soon goes as United States minis
ter. Hereafter, under this new act,
the inebriated citizen, when found
on the street by a policeman, will
not be hauled off to a lockup. The
officer is required to ask him where
he obtained his “booze,” and on
receipt of this information he must
summon the saloonkeeper desig
nated, who is obliged to take the
drunken man home in a cab at
his own expense. It may be easily
seen that this is a very useful law.
Cab hire is no inexpensive feature
of the American drunk, and if Mr.
Carr should find the plan to be work
ing successfully at Copenhagen he
might recommend its adoption in
an official report to Secretary
Blaine.
A Romantic Marriage.
Those who have been accustom
ed to go into Mr. Shinholser’s
palace of sweets on Cherry street,
Macon, have noticed a pretty,
modest and unassuming young
lady behind the counter. Satur
day Mr. Shinholser gave her per
mission to attend the picnic at
Beach Haven. She went, and en
joyed herself immensely. She was
accompanied by a young gentle
man who returned with her to the
store that night. He left for
awhile, but returned in time to
escort her home. Recent develop
ments show that he went after a
license Monday. Miss Calhe L.
Sknne was not as promptly at her
post as usual, but a little later in
the day Mr. Shrinholser received
a note saying that she could not
come down, but her husband would
not let her, that she was now Mrs.
Charles L. Walker. About all that
could be learned of the affair was
that Sunday afternoon, armed with
the license, they sought the house
of a minister and were made one.
“You can’t do anything without
money, my boy.” “Oh, yes you can.”
“I’d like to know what ?” “You can
get in debt.”
The pretty young misses at church
fairs are continually laying them-
selyes liable to arrest on the charge
of robbing the males.
Artist—“What do you say to my
new picture?” Critic—“I’m not go
ing to say anything to it unless it
says something to me.”
The highest office in the gift of
the president is that of postmaster
at Mineral Point, Colorado. It is
12,000 feet above the sea level.
Theacher—“ vV 7 hat was there re
markable about the battle of Look
out?” Little Dick (at the foot of
the class)—“It caused bangs on the
brow of a mountain.”
Citizen (just a prominent ordina
ry citizen)—Well, Mr. Landlord,
what do'you find the most disagree
able feature about renting houses?
Landlord ?—Tenants.
Mrs. Blobsom (contemptuously)—
“What do you men know about
women’s clothes, anyway?” Mr.
Blobson (meekly)—“Nothing,except
.how much they cost.”
You appear to be in good health
said a prison visitor to a convict.
“It is only in appearance, sir,” re
plied the convict, “for the fact is I
am confined to my room more than
half the time.”
Foul poisons that accumulate in the blood
and rot the machinery of the system, are
eradicated and expelled by using Prickly
Ash Bitters, a medicine that will not irritate
the stomach or bowels, It acts in. a gentle
manner on these delicate organs, and re
stores health in every case,
—Largest assortment of plain and
fancy crackers at C. E. Scherer’s.
“In the accounts ot the marriage
of the Emperor of China,” said Mrs.
McCrakle, “I see that his household
comprises seven cooks and thirty
physicians.” “That’s about the right
proportion,” replied McCrackle.
A busy doctor of Scranton, Penn
sylvania sent a certificate of death
to the health officer, and inadver-
tautly placed his name in the space
for “cause of death.” This is what
might be called accidental exact
ness.
Obe, they called him, because his
name was Obediah. They were
getting up tableaux, and when Obe’s
girl was asked what character she
would prefer to take, she replied,
naively: “Any part, so that I can
be Niebe.”
A New York lawyer named Doo
little once unwittingly entered into
partnership with a brother barister
named Steele, but a lack of clients
soon became painfully noticeable,
and it was found advisable to dis
solve, the name of the firm proving
too suggestive to prospective pat
rons.
It is settled that the abbreviation
of the new state of Washington is
to be “Wash.” When the sister
states meet we can he'ar Miss Neva
da cry out “La. Pa. tell Ma. Cal. and
Me. are 111. because we had to Wash,
for Tenn. days, and we Miss. Mich,
and Del. O! Wis. we do and Ky. for
them sometimes don’t we Flo ?”
Are you billious and dyspeptic?
Does your liver sluggish seem?
Is your slumber often broken
By a hideous, nig htmare dream?
Friend, be wise: The Pleasant Pellets
Made by Dr Pierce procure,
And they'll bring you bock the sunshine
Of good health, you may be suie.