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p osvnYBL Y CAS II.
fgr John Sullivan got some
jf 10,0* 10 from his late skirmish with
Jake Kilrain.
The president of the United
States receives a salary of $50,000.
The British taxpayers pay over
$.‘5,000,000 annually for the support
of the Riyal family.
W The daughter of the Prince
of Wales who was recently married
to a Scottish nobleman, the Earl of
Fife, received bridal presents whose
cost figured up over $750,000.
A delegation from the old
Ninth New York Volunteers at
tended the reunion of the Third
Georgia Regiment at Fort Valley.
During the war these two regi
ments fought each other in North
Carolina and Maryland.
The crematory erected
under the authority of the city
council of Savannah as a furnace
for burning the garbage don’t work
satisfactorily. The city will lose
nothing, as the work according to
the contract was to be tested before
any money was paid.
&r t he impression prevails in
Atlanta among legislators that the
session will last until October. Nine
ty days tor an adjourned session is a
pretty long time, especially when
it is remembered that a few years
ago iorty days was considered long
enough to do ail the work of the
assembly.
A project is on foot to build
a bridge across the St. Lawrence, at
Quebec. It will cost some $10,000,-
000. It will be over six miles long,
and its height above high water
level will be JOS feet. The bridge
across the same river at Montreal
is some three miles, and is one
among the longest in the world.
The Augusta Chronicle’s
reporter says that the future growth
of Atlanta will be seriously inter
fered with on account of the own
ership of large tracts of land around
the city by several colored institu-
tings. White people will not buy
homes in these localities, and by
special legislation the city cannot
reap any revenue by taxation from
these extensive eyesores.
The De Soto hotel, in Savan
nah, presents a handsome, and
imposing appearance, and when
completed will compare very favor
ably with the finest hotels in the
country. It will be ready for the
reception of guests by the first of
December. The portion of the old
barracks left on Drayton street
for a kitchen, campores very un
favorably with the rest of the build
ing, and will probably be torn
down.
Ifjgr Doctors will differ the world
over. Surgeon-General W. A.
Hammond is emphatic in saying
that ice water should be avoided
altogether, while many other p'nvs-
■cians of note say that the moderate
use ot ice water at short intervals
is beneficial. One says that late
suppers are very injurious, another
tells us that it is unhealthy to go to
bed on an empty stomach, one says
eat sparingly, another says, eat as
much as you want.
The Savannah lawyers
have come down like a thousand
of bricks on the attenuated carcass
of the remains of the Savannah and
Dublin short line R. It. It will be
remembered that some time back
Gen. Alexander attempted to gob
ble up the road when he paid Maj.
Branch $100,000 for the charter.
Judge Speer set this sale aside and
was very earnest in his invitations
to Maj. Branch to come back to
Georgia, and disgorge. Col. Da-
vant was appointed the receiver of
the road, and under an order of
court the road was put up at public
sale, and bought by Lawyer Den
mark for$:I5,000. Now the lawyers
are flocking in and demanding or
ders tor all sorts of services ren
dered. And the contending law
yers are, J. A. Cronk, T. M. Nor
wood, R. G. Erwin, Charles N. West,
F. G. duBiguon, Win. Garrard, G.
A. Mercer, R. E. Lester, R. It. Rich
ards and II. II. Cunningham.
This poor road will undoubtedly
be tetotally and foreyer gobbled
up by the lawyers.
Doctor—“It’s nothing but an at
tack of dyspepsia.”
Patient—“And what does that
come from ?”
Doctor—“That comes from Greek,
madam.”
Ko matter whether it comes from
the Greek or the Hebrew, or eating
mince pie, if you liaye it just take
Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Purgative
Pellets, and you won’t need to ask
the doctor anything about it. Spe
cific in all derangements of the
liver, stomach and bowels.
—When you go to Augusta stop
at the Augusta hotel. You will re
ceive kind attention and get good
fare.
All goods strictly first-class at
Scherer’s.
Volume 8.
OSCE FOES, SOW FRIENDS.
Hankins Zouaves to Visit the Thlrit (ieorgia
Keglinpnt Survivors.
New Y ork Times.
For several years the Hawkins
Zouaves, of the old Ninth New York
Volunteers, have received cordial
invitations from the Third Georgia
regiment to join it in its annual re
unions. The two regiments always
had a fraternal feeling for each
other after their several rather ag
gressive meetings during the war.
These meetings were unusually
frequent, and each regiment, had
ample opportunity to observe the
grit and courage of the other. They
met at Chicainocomin, Antietam,
Roanoke island, Camden, and on
several other battlefields noted for
fierce fighting. At the battle of
Antietam the Third Georgia boys
held a bridge against the Ninth New
V ork, and for two days there was
terrible fighting for its possession
The 17th of September is an anniver
sary that will always be remem
bered by those who were present
at the battle. As a result, when
the anniversary comes around the
Georgia men have been invited to
come North and then northern
men go South.
The Third Georgia men are about
the only ones who keep up a regi
mental association in that state.
This year they hold a reunion on
July 31st and August 1st at Fort
Valley. When their pressing invi
tation to the Kawkins Zouaves was
received it was determined that a
delegation should go down and fra
ternize with their old opponents.
The delegation started yesterday
afternoon on the steamer Nacoo-
chee, for Savannah, from which
city they will go to Fort Valley.
Those who went on the trip were
Walter L. Thompson, ex-Judge
Langbein, Robert II. Alberts, II. II.
Jackson, of Rhode Island, and Jo
seph Richards. Mrs.Thompson and
Mrs. Langbein accompanied their
husbands.
Many of the Hawkins Zouaves
were at the deck to wish them a
pleasant trip and to send words of
cordial greeting to the Third Geor
gia men. They brought with them
a handsome shield fashioned after
the Rhode Island coat of arms and
composed of immortelles. The
ground-work is of white blossoms,
and across the shield is a band of
gray flowers, on which, in raised
blue floral letters are the words:
“Hawkins Zouaves to the Third
Georgia.” Above the band crimson
letters spell “Peace” and “Good
will.”
The floral tribute will he present
ed to the Georgia regiment, and a
speech will be made by ex-Judge
Langbein at the reunion. A copy
of resolutions passed by the Zouaves
at a recent meeting will also he
presented.
The kindly feeling existing be
tween the two veteran organiza
tions is clearly shown by the cor
respondence that was passed be
tween. In a letter received from
Colonel Claiborne Snead, who com
mands the Georgia survivors, re
ference is made to the gallant fight
ing of the Zouaves on more than
one occasion. “In that dread
school of battle,” he wrote, “your
signal valor won the admiration
ol all, and was the topic of much
comment. * * * *
My comrades went into the fight
with every impulse of soul in favor
of the cause, and every energy of
mind and body was exerted. The
contest having finally ended in our
defeat, we feel that now, having ac
cepted the results of the war, in ut
most good faith, our honor is
pledged to support the government
without mental reservation, and
if occasion required we would
cheerfully resume our arms in its
defense.”
General Sonel, who commanded
the brigade to which the Third Geor
gia was attached and who was also
chief of General Longstreet’s staff,
wrote a pleasant letter testifying
his appreciations of the work of the
Zouaves,as well as of the bravery of
the Third Georgia men.
The delegation sailed away in an
ticipation of a pleasant visit to their
southern friends, and with the full
knowledge of receiving a hearty
welcome at the Confederate reunion.
A True Tonic.
When you don’t feel well and hardly know
what ails you, give II 15 15 (Botanic Blood
Balm) a trial it is a line tonic.
TO Callahan, Charlotte, N C, writes: “B
B B is a fine tonic, and has done me great
good.”
I, W Thompson, Damascus, Ga, writes: “I
believe B B B is the best blood purifier made.
It has greatly improved my general health.”
An old gentleman writes: “B B B gives
me new life and new strength. If there is
anything that will make an old man young,
it is B B B.”
PA Sheppard, Norfork, Ya, August. 10th,
18SS, writes: “I depend on B B B for the pre
servation of my health. I have had it in
my family now nearly two years, and in all
that time'have not had to have a doctor.”
Thos Paulk, Alapnha, Ga, writes: “I suf
fered terribly from dyspepsia. The use of
15 B B has made me feel like a new man.
1 would not take a thousand dollars for
tiie good it lias done me,”
W M Cheshire. Atlanta, Ga, writes: “I
had a long spell of typhoid fever, which at
last seemed to settle in my right ieg, which
discharged a cup full of niattar a day. I
then gave B B B a trial and it cured me.”
UE CITIZEN.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, August 3d, 1889.
Number 1-t.
L. C. Hay.ve, J.T. Newbkry,
President. Cashier.
Planters ftean $ (Savings Bank,
821 Broad St., AUGUSTA, GA.
Capital—All Paid in Cash,*100,000.
With Stockholders liability which guaran
tees absolute safety to all depositors.
This is the oldest Savings Bank in this city
with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years.
It transacts a general Banking business in.
all of its branches, and is authorized to re
ceive and disburse money, securities or prop
erty in trust, and to act as financial agent for
any person firm or corporation.
fie’® 0 ’ Interest allowed on deposits in the
Savings Department. apcju/fgl-by
A Leap to Death.
Rome Tribune,
Last night as the switch engine,
No. 06, of the East Tennessee was
crossing the East Tenneesee bridge
from the Decatur junction, a lone
footman was suddenly discovered
just a few feet ahead.
It was twelve o’clock and the
engine was running so fast that it
was impossible to stop. The engin
eer heard a wail and the lone man
fell headlong to the ground. The
fall was twenty-five feet.
When they halted they discover
ed two valises laying on the trestle,
and climbing down the embank
ment on the east Rome side they
discovered the man to be dead.
The train hands never touched
him, but hurried into the depot.
The dead man was lying on his
face, and his left thigh was broken
and appeared to have been driven
up into his body. He was a man
apparently about fifty years ol age,
well dressed, heavy built, and
weighed about 100 pounds.
The switch engine hands never
molested the dead man. His two
grips were left on the track. These
they brought to the depot. One
was a small sole-leather grip.
The latter contained several pa
pers and a memorandum hook con
taining a five and a two dollar hill.
There was a receipt for $183 which
was written in Spanish.
The unknown man is evidently
named Adolph Defer, tor he held
a receipt from one Jacques Lud-
wick for $185. It was dated “Colon,
Panama, July 10, 1SS9.” The
grip also contained a good sup
ply of bacon, sausage, baker’s bread,
a lot of clothing, shoes, hair brush,
cake of soap and an old navy six
shooter.
A coroner’s inquest will he held
and it may be that lie can he lo
cated by telegraphing to Colon,
Panania.
A DUTY TO YOUllSELF.
It is surprising that people will
use a common ordinary pill when
they can secure a valuable English
one for the same money. Dr. Ack
er’s English Pills are a positive
cure for sickheadache and all liver
troubles. They are small, sweet,
easily taken and are for sale by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro and
E. A. Harris & Co., Midville.
Stic Did Not Want Ills Ring.
Savannah Times.
A card was published in the Times
yesterday afternoon which has caus
ed no little gossip. It was signed
by James M. Reid, who said that
his engagement to a young lady
was postponed and he asked those
who had received cards to destroy
them. This afternoon Mr. Martin
Cooley, the young ladies father, pub
lishes a card stating that his daugh
ter had no knowledge of an engage
ment and intimating that the
young man’s mind was not as
strong as it should he. Reid is a
clerk at the Ocean Steamship com
pany’s wharf. He was at the time
a clerk in the employ of the Savan
nah Florida and Western, and he is
a brother of the alderman of the
same name who has a strong politi
cal pull in the east side of town.
Mr. Cooley is a well to do contractor
and does a great deal of work for the
city. He said that young Reid
asked him for his daughter’s hand
Monday and the next day without
getting the consent of either the pa
rent or the young lady, bought a
handsome diamond ring. Miss
Nellie Cooley is a pretty vivacious
and accomplished young lady, who
has a voice of unusual sweetness, pu
rity and brilliancy and which with
out special culture is one of the fin
est sopranos in the city. She knew
young Reid well and received calls
from him but her family says, she
never looked upon him as a suitor.
She was much surprised Monday
evening when he asked her to go
with him to select a diamond, and
she was more surprised next even
ing when he called and offered her
one. Mr. Cooley states that the
young man’s friends have consulted
a physician to learn his mental con
dition.
CA UTION TO MOTHERS.
Every mother is cautioned
against giving her child laudanum
or paregoric; it creates an unnatur
al craving for stimulants which
kill the mind or the child. Acker’s
Baby Soother is specially prepared
to benefit children and cure their
pains. It is harmless and contains
no opium or morphine. Sold by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and
E. A. Harris & Co., Midville.
This is an Italian bon mot: At a
cafe a group of gentleman discuss
ing politics; a young student enter
ed and joined in the conversation,
liis arguments did not suit the oth
ers, and one of them said to him, “be
quiet! At your age I was an ass
ruyself! “You are wonderfully well
preserved sir,” was the reply.
The “old reliable”—Dr. Sage’s
Catarrh Remedy.
A HAUNTED SPOT.
The Mysterious Spirit of Myrtle l’ond.
Brunswick Times.
There is a lonely and sequestered
spot in the woods around Bruns
wick, where no negro man, woman
or child will dare he found.
In what is generally known as
Fulton’s pasture near Dixville and
facing the boulevard, is a pond of
stagnent water, the surroundings of
which are all suggestive of quiet
and solitude. The surface of the
pond is dotted with small clumps
of sand upon which a myrtle bush
invariably grows. The pond itself
is about 500 yards in circumference
with an average depth of one and
a half feet.
__ It is said that no negro will go
near this pond at any hour of the
day, and investigation has proven
the statement true. Upon question
ing one of these prejudiced darkies a
Times reporter learned the following
cause for shunning it by the colored
people.
Way hack yonder in the early
part of the year 1800, a young ne
gro girl was sent by her mother to
gather wood in the neighborhood
of the pond and she never returned.
Search was made for her hut noth
ing was found except her wide-
brimmed hat which was found
floating on the stagnant water.
Hie community was aroused and
turned out en masse to find the
missing child. They failed to find
her.
One dark night about one year
after this strange disappearance, a
lone negro fisherman landed at the
bluff near where the Boulevard
bridge now stands and gathering
up his oars oarlocks and the few
fish he had been fortunate enough
to catch proceeded on his way
home. It being considerably near
er for him to “cut” through these
woods, he did so and had to pass di-
lectly by the pond in question. As
he picked his way carefully
through the underbrush, his keen-
sighted eyes peering eagerly
through the darkness, a strange
sound met his ears. It was the
voice ot a child singing some weird
and discordant notes of a well
known plantation air. The fisher
man stopped and listened. It
seemed as if the source of the song
was drawing nearer. At last al
most paralyzed with fear the old
negro called out:
“Who’s there?”
The song suddenly ceased and an
awnswering voice was heard.
“The spirit of Myrtle pond.”
So weird and unearthly was the
answer that the old negro turned
and ran m the direction from
which he came, while the ghostly
music was resumed.
The fisherman reached his cot
by a more roundabout way that
night, and his family, in their hum
ble cot, listened to his recital of
the thrilling experience he had
passed through. The story spread
until it was general talk among
the superstitious negroes and not
one dared approach the pond.
Two little negro boys came run
ning into their “mammy” one day
recently and told a hair splitting
story of how while out near the
pond playing, a white robed figure
appeared before them singing a
plaintive melody. They had run
home as fast as possible so fright
ened were they by the apparition.
PIMPLES OX THE FA CE
Denote an impure state of the blood
and are looked upon by many with
suspicion. Acker’s Blood Elixir
will remove all impurities and
leave the complexion smooth and
clear. There is nothing that will
so thoroughly build up the constitu
tion, purify and strengthen the
whole system. Sold and guaran
teed by Whitehead & Co., Waynes
boro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Mid
vine.
August Crop Report.
The August crop report, which
will be published next week, will
contain a statement from all the
counties who have adopted the lo
cal option stock laws. It will show
what effect the law has had on beef,
sheep, butter and other farm pro
ducts. It will also show the gener
al tranquility of the people in re
gard to their stock. It will be an
interesting report where the no
fence law will be made an issue at
the next election.
Damaged from Ammonia.
The packing in the ice machine
in a brewery at Lancaster, Pa., blew
out and 300 pounds of ammonia es
caped. A large field of tobacco was
ruined by the ammonia all the
flowers and choice plants in Mr.
Reiker’s garden were withered and
it was with great difficulty that ten
horses were saved. All the resi
dents within 500 feet of the ma
chine were affected by it.
—The finest lot of fancy imported
candies in the city can be found at
C. E. Scherer’s.
THE FALSE rniilST IN JAIL.
Sheriff Snillh anil a Posse Captured the Libert;
County Luualie.
Savannah News. July 2iith.
Liberty county is in feyer heat
now over the false Christ. A gen
tleman who came up on a Savan
nah, Florida and Western train
from Jesup last night said that
Sheriff Smith, with forty or fifty
citizens of the county, arrested
night before last twenty-nine ne
groes who are followers of James.
James has been arrested also.
There is no doubt of his being a
lunatic, and he will he lodged in
jail as soon as possible. Hon. T.
M. Norwood is in Liberty county
now as counsel against the noisy
religious fanatics.
Some of the negroes of the county
look with amazement at what their
friends are doing, hut do not lollow
them. The church people are be
ginning to wake up. At recent
meetings in the churches the fol
lowing resolutions were drafted:
We the ministers and officers of
the colored churches of Liberty
county, representing the interest
and honor of our people, appeal
to the civil authorities of this
county to order the fanatic follow
ers of Dupont Bell, the impostor,
to disband and remain disbanded,
and congregate no more in any
place in the bounds of the county,
on the following grounds:
1. That they haye become a
crazy mob.
2. That some of them have be
come insane and that there is dan
ger of many more becoming so.
8. That their acts have been de
graded, and degrading in the ex
treme, vulgar, indecent and
beastly.
4. That their doctrines and cere
monies are vile aud demoralizing to
morals.
5. That there is Ganger that
many of them will become paupers
or thieyes from want of crops aban
doned and labor suspended.
G. That they have committed
mitted crimes against the person,
beating their opponents and their
own followers almost to death, as
saulting, even with intent to mur
der or violence.
7. That it is is injuring the honor
and character of our people at
home and abroad, misleading the
public mind as to the members who
have joined the craze, whereas, it is
evident that 19 per cent, of our peo
ple are respectable and in their
right minds, and faithful to law and
order, civil and ecclesiastical.
PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
Confirm our statement when we
say that Acker’s English Remedy
is in every way superior to any and
all other preparations for the throat
and lungs. In whooping cough and
croup it is magic and relieves at
once. We offer you a sample bottle
free. Remember, this remedy is
sold on a positive guarantee by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and
E. A. Harris & Co., Midville.
Tim Mormons Must Go.
Nashville, Tenn., July 27-
Two hundred people in the twenty-
third district oi Wilson county have
banded for the purpose of driving
Mormon elders and converts from
that county. This action has been
taken on account of the conduct of
Mormons on a recent occasion.
While Rev. John Barrett, a Baptist
preacher was holding service in Wet-
more’s school house, he was inter
rupted by some of the Mormon con
verts present, who asked himseyei-
al questions and then became in
sulting in their language. Mem
bers in the congregation made a
move to resent this interference,
whereupon the Mormons jumped
out of the window and dared
them to come out and fight. Two
justices of the peace subsequently
prepared a big dinner, and invited
the community at large to come
and hear Mr. Barrett preach, and
to give him protection. Every one
expected that a fight would take
place, but the Mormons stayed
away. The preacher called on the
congregation to know how many
would help to drive thq Mormons
out of the county. In reponse to
his invitation, all the men in the
congregation, about two hundred,
gave him their hands, promising
to drive the Mormons out by what
ever means would be necessary.
The Mormons have been forbidden
to travel on the roads, and notified
to stop holding meetings.
Fa; Roll ot a small Factor;.
TheLaGrange, Mills atLaGrange,
now employ 140 hands, and the
weekly pay roll is $500. Nearly all
the machinery is now in operation
and the output is 2,500 yards per
day, or 15,000 per week. Some of
this product ,is very heavy—weigh
ing two pounds to the yard. The
hands work eleven hours per day,
except Saturday, when they are
dismissed at 3 o’clock p. m.
—Largest assortment of plain and
fancy crackers at C. E. Scherer’s.
The Bob Toomb’s Oak.
Athens Banner.
Yesterday during the shower of
rain a loud crashing noise was
heard on the campus and a Ban
ner reporter hastened to the scene,
expecting to find the walls of the
old Richardson house, which are
now being replastered, crumbled
to the earth. But such was not the
case.
The noise was caused by the
falling of one of the large branches
of the old Bob Toombs oak, in front
of the college chapel. It was one
of the main limbs of the tree which
reached over the walk beside the
chapel steps, and was the same limb
that shaded the great statesman
on the occasion of his graduating
speech, from which event the stal
wart oak dates its name.
Who has not heard of the Bob
Toomb’s oak and of its history ?
Baneath its shades the man
whose name it bears charmed hun
dreds of Georgians, who leaving
the exercises in the chapel came
out to listen to the lhagic of his
eloquence. That was many years
ago, when life and vigor filled the
veins of the great Georgian with
the bloom of youth, and when the
old tree itself was fresh and green
in its best days.
But time has brought its changes
to both.
General Toombs, with a wreath
of well deserved tame and with a
crown of universal love and admi
ration, has “crossed the river to join
the majority.”
The old oak for several years has
been going to decay. Its trunk is
becoming hallowed by time’s tell
ing stroke, and the mammoth
branches are gradually growing
dead and falling back to mother
earth. In all probabilities the tree
will have to be cut down.
There is something touching in
the parallel histories of the man
and of the tree. Both were reared
into prominence at the same
moment; both have flourished
among the kingdoms with lofty
heads; both have fallen at almost
simultaneous periods.
Neither will soon be forgotten.
Time will do its destroying work
will wrinkle fond faces and whiten
golden locks, but in vain will it
labor to dim the brilliancy of the
name of Toombs or efface the
memories that cluster around the
venerable oak.
The Trust Fails to Secure Sufficient Subscribers.
New York, July 27.—The direc
tors of the North American Salt
Company authorized the publica
tion of the following this morning:
“While the subscriptions have been
very numerous and in the aggregate
large, the trustees feel that they are
not justified in proceeding to an al
lotment of shares on the present ba
sis, without further conterence with
the subscribers and vendors. This,
on account of the subscribers
being on both sides of the Atlantic
and the vendors widely separated,
will take time, and it has
been decided to return the subscrip
tions and postpone further action
until these negotiations can be com
pleted.” There was, therefore, no
meeting of the salt trust this morn
ing.
Curious Discovery or the Sahara.
One of the engineers on the
Sahara railroad, now being con
structed by France, reports a dis
covery of great archaeological value.
Coming upon a mound of sand he
had it dug into and found a dome,
which proved to be the top ot a
tower; and, digging deeper, the
tower proved to belong a mosque
entirely imbedded in the sand.
Continuing his researches, he has
uncovered nine houses and a water
course. The water course is of great
value and will be used for irrigation.
This) discovery confirms the
impression that the Sahara is
another instance of the modification
which climatic changes will
affect, and that it was once a popu
lous land, instead of the waste of
desert we see it to-day.
A Snake Charmed li; Music.
Last Tuesday afternoon Miss
Annie Sandford, of Crawfordville,
who is visiting Mrs. Dr. Foullain, of
Greensboro, was in the parlor play
ing on the piano. She played for
some time, and upon stopping to
go into another portion of the house
she saw lying coiled on the door
mat an enormous snake. The
snake was lying with its head on
its coil w’atching the piano, and
there can be no doubt it had been
draum into the room by the
music.
ARE YOU SKEPTICAL?
If so we will convince you that
Acker’s English Remedy for the
lungs is superior to all other prepar
ations, and is a positive cure for
all throat and lung troubles, croup,
whooping cough and colds. We
guarantee the preparation and will
give you a sample bottle free. Sold
by Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro
and E. A. Harris, Midville.
The placksmith welds iron with
sealing whacks.
The worst thing a person can
take for a cold is advice.
Every man is sometimes a bait
on some other man’s hook.
People who get lonesome real
ize what poor company they are.
A man doesn’t feel the least in
flated when blown up by his wife.
A berry picker generally gets
what he can and cans what he gets.
The electrician is a good soldier.
He knows how to charge a bat
tery.
After young Bodkins had hug
ged his girl, he called her strained
honey.
Most revolutions nowadays are
caused by the modern printing
presses.
Every chief should be a base bal-
list in order to catch the flies from
the batter.
When you feel like calling a big
man a liar be sure you’re right,
then use the telephone.
It is one of the distressing auomi-
lies of modern life that the man
who can’t sing does sing.
Port Huron has a tough whose
forehead is so low that when he
weeps the tears run down his hack.
A man who can’t sing and will
sing has a depressing effect on the
value of real estate in his locality.
“Mamma if you had three twins
what would you call them—troub-
lets?” “Yes, dear I think I would.”
Miss DeSmythe—“I wonder why
these mosquitoes never come to
the hotel ?” Cholly—“They can’t
afford it.”
It takes four years for a college
to turn out a good student. But it
frequently turns out a bad one in
less than three months.
“I’m like a tree.” he observed, as
the clock struck 11. I am rooted at
your side. “Yes hut you never
leave do you?” And then he put
forth.
Lady (horses running away)—
Dear, dear, what will become of
me? New Coachman (grimly)—
Madam, it depends on your past
life. I’m all right.
The vile slanderers of the state ot
Kentucky should know that in the
metropolis of Kentucky, at least,
there is not one saloon or bar-room.
We have coffee rooms here.
“I want whisky and I want it
bad,” exclaimed the night of the red
nose. “Well you can have it just as
bad as you can stand it, replied the
barkeeper, passing him the worst
in the house.
“John this is a very bad report
you bring me from school.” “I
know, father, but you know you
said if I should bring you a first-
class report you would give me a
dollar, and I wanted to save you
that expense.
Guest—Who kept up that terrific
pounding on the piano last night.
Host—It was next door. Guest—
A great annoyance isn’t it. Host
—I should say it is. I’d like to
play on that piano for about an
hour—with a hose.
Mr.O’Garrigle—Y'ie, Dennis made
up his moind this morniug that he’d
not go on another dhrunk for a
year. Mrs. Hoolpmas—Praise be to
goodness for that same. And how
did it come about? Mr. O’Garrigle
—Well yez see the judge sent him
up for twilve months.
“My friend,” earnestly exclaimed
the temperance lecturer pointing a
long quivering forefinger at the
cowering figure of a man on the
back seat. “What will you do when
you come to the end ot your career
and find honor, hope, friends, home
and all that makes life valuable
or the future cheering lost—all lost?
“Lost?”ejaculated Mr. Rambo, con
scious that a question had been ad
dressed to him, “b’George I’d (hie)
advertizhe!”
Stranger—“Have you any choice
lots on hand?” Landowner—“Yes
sir; yes sir; something fine! The
nicest lots that ever laid outdoors!
There are two; all improvments,
convenient to cars, clear title, etc.
They are choice but I will make
them $1,500 for cash.” Stranger—
“Well Pm not buying. I’m making
assessments—did you say $1,500 each
for those lots? Landowner (hastily)
—“No, oh no; for the two!” Stran
ger—“Any more choice lots.” Land-
owner—“That’s all; just about sold
out.”
Before the use of Prick ley Ash Bitters be
came general throughout the South and
West,it was a fearful dose of “bluemass,” and
daily doses of quinine, that was forced down
the throats of sufferers from all malarial
troubles. In place of such obnoxious, har
rowing curatives, Prickley Ash Bitters, with
its mild soothing action now tolds supreme
sway, and after one trial, its use when
necessary, is forever established. You who
have sick-headaches, sour stomachs, diseased
liver or kidneys, can do no better than to give
it a trial,