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(l he (kmc (tiitism. Sullivan Brothers, Publishers. Subscription Rates: Ono Copy one year - - $2 00 u “ six months - 1 00 a u three months - 50 OSITIVELY C-ASU. E CITIZEN. Volume 8. Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, August 17th, 1889. Number 16, Planters Loan § {Savings Bank, 821 Broad St.. AUGUSTA, GA. Capital—All Paid in Cash, $100/100. With Stockholders liability which guaran tees absolute safety to all depositors. This is the oldest Savings Bank in this city with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years. It transacts a general Banking business in all of its branches, and is authorized to re ceive and disburse money, securities or prop erty in trust, and to act as financial agent for anypersou firm or corporation. £££“' Interest allowed on deposits in the Savings Department. apr2u,’89-by lion. Robt. II. May, has been mayor of the city of Augusta for 15 years. Mrs. Canfield, the author of “Mack heels on white necks,” is a s j s ter of John J. Ingalls, of Kansas. So said the Atlanta Constitution, hut a Kansas editor says not so. The last accounts from Gen. C A. Evans were unfavorable, and his host of friends all over the state are awaiting the results of his se rious illness with much anxiety. Congressman Cox, of New York, has been doing up very care fully tiie newly made states. He lias well grounded hopes that three of them will enter the Democratic fold, and is confident that nothing can prevent Washington Territory from going Democratic. Since the introduction of the bill to sell the Okeefeenokee swamp for twelve and a half cents per acre, D. G. Purse, of Savannah, has made his offer of twenty-five cents. Mr. Purse is an indefatigable devel oper. The Tybee boom owes its existence to his exertions. SW The trial at Edgefield S. C., of John Velde!!, alias Rev. Flemon, of Pittsburg, tor a murder commit ted in 1SS1, resulted in his acquittal. The feeling against Yeldell was so strong after his acquittal that the governor had to have him guarded until begot beyond the limits. lion. W. J. Northern, the president of the Georgia State Ag ricultural Society, has announced his willingness to enter the race for gubernatorial honors. Unless an- t igonized by Mr. Livingston he will make a strong candidate, as he will receive the ready support of the farming element. Mr. duBignon, of Savannah, in whose hat has been buzzing the gubernatorial bee, was lately inter viewed. Unlike Mr. Northern he will not speak out his intentions, and would for the tune being re main non-committal. The chances of Southern Georgia when weighed in the gubernatorial balance, are always found wanting. Mrs. Maybrick, an Ameri can, for some years a resident of Liverpool, England, was charged with poisoning her husband. The jury found her guilty and the penal ty condemns her to be hung. New trials in England are rarely grant ed, and the chances are all against her, though there is a strong lean ing of public opinion in her favor. The limits of the city of Philadelphia stretch out and take in the entire county. Cincinnati is catching on to a like desire, and the idea now is to make the county of Hamilton the city of Cincinnati. If this is done the various suburbs would increase the population some 100,000, and would run up the popu lation of the city to half a million or over. The beautitul she-devil, in (lie shape of the Anarchist Lucy Parsons, says she does not care whether she dies on a bed or on the gallows. If she will hasten the time for the “shuffling off the mor tal coil,” the people are indifferent how she makes her exit. With her “time is the essence of the contract,” and the sooner she goes hence the better for those who- know her best. The resuscitating effects of the Brown-Sequard elixir is being tested. Rheumatics are being cur ed, and the deadening effects of paralysis has been removed. Who knows what science will yet accomplish? Under skillful treat ment the vital fires may. yet be made to blaze out brightly from all the crevices of our worn-out, carcasses. Many of us may yet joyfully shout the refrain “there is life in the old land yet.” lisr Now that the elixir of life s likely to catch on to such im mense success, would it not be well for our enterprising planters to go largely in the raising of lambs, kids guinea pigs and dogs. It is from these animals the decoction is made, and it will never do for the supply to become exhausted. A high old time is yet in store for the farmers. It is much easier and cheaper to raise these ltttle animals than to worry through the tedious 3 nd uncertain process of making cotton. Lambs require some atten tion, guinea pigs and kids thrive if allowed only half a chance, and logs almost indigenous to the soil. ARE YOU SKEPTICAL? If so we will convince you that Acker’s English Remedy for the mngs is superior to all other prepar ations, and is a positive cure for all throat and lung troubles, croup, whooping cough and colds. We guarantee the preparation and will give you a sample bottle free. Sold ; by \\ hitehead & Co., Waynesboro and E. A. Harris, Midville. for and saw PIMPLES OK THE FA CE Denote an impure state of the blood and are looked upon by many with suspicion. Acker’s Blood Elixir will remove all impurities and leave the complexion smooth and clear. There is nothing that will so thoroughly build up the constitu tion, purify and strengthen the whole system. Sold and guaran teed by Whitehead & Co., Waynes boro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Mid- ville. Let All “Vets” Come. Americas, Aug. 10.—’The fourth Georgia regiment will hold its an nual reunion at Americus,Ga., on Wednesday next, the 14th Inst. The Confederate verterans of Sumter county hereby cordially invite al! survivors of the Fourth Georgia Regiment, the Ninth Geor gia Regiment, the Twelfth Georgia Regiment, the Tenth Georgia Bat talion, Furlough’s Battalion, Cutts’ Battalion, and all ex-Confederate soldiers, to be present in Americus and except their hospitality that day. By orders of the Confederate vet erans of Sumter county. Charles F. Crisp, Chairman Committee on Invitation No matter what the school of physic. They each can cure an ache or phthisic— At least ’tis said they can: But as science turns the wheel sHll faster. And quacks and bigots meet disaster. To us there comes a man Whose merit hatli won countless zealots, Who use and praise ills “Pleasant Pellets.” The “pleasant Purgative Pellets” of Dr. Pierce, though gentle in ac tion, are thorough, and never fail to cure billiousness diseased or torpid liver, and constipation. BATTERY PARK’S CURIOSITY. A Colored Boy Who Speaks and nears Only at the Full ol the noon. Savannah News, July 12th. The neighborhood of Battery park has a sensation in the sudden restoration of the faculties of a colored deaf mute who says that that since he can remember he has been able to speak and hear only at the full of the moon. The phe nomenon lias produced a whirlwind of excitement among the colored people in the neighborhood, and over a thousand visited the man yesterday. Henry Wilson is the name of the colored youth, whose periodical speaking and hearing season is now in. He has been drooping about for the last two days and appeared to his friends where he was boarding to be sick. He went to bed Saturday night very unwell, and yesterday morning he arose and began talk ing just as if he had never been deprived of the senses. Hit head ache had left him and he was in a happy state of mind. The family with which he lived became alarm ed at what had taken place and were about leaving the hoy to him self. Wilson went to the City and Suburban railway stables, where he was acquainted with all of the conductors and drivers and told them what had taken place and the news was soon spread. The colored people began pouring in to see the hoy. He is a likely young fellow about twenty years old and came here from New' York. He graduated at the Boston school the deaf and dumb a year ago came South. A Morning News reporter Wilson at Battery park. When the boy was told that somebody wished to see him, he clapped his hands and ran down to get on top of his platform, which the drivers had constructed for him, ready to be talked to. He said that he is 20 years old. He is the eigh teenth child of his parents. He graduated at the Boston deaf and dumb school as a barber, and came South a year ago. “I hear twelve days out of each year,” Wilson said. “I have had my speech and could hear one day each month ever since I can remember. It is restored to me on the full of every moon. Just about two days before each full of the moon I suffer excrutiating pains aud I have fits. My head seems as if it would burst. My tongue gets sore and swells. A few hours before my speech and hear ing come to me I experience a pe culiar sensation in my head. In side of each ear something seems to tear loose, producing a sensation similar to that of stopping your ears for a minute and then suddenly unstopping + hem. I can speak for about twenty four-hours. After that time my hearing gradually becomes dull, and it is difficult for me to speak, until I become again deaf and dumb.” Wilson said that lie has never dreamed. He does not know what dreams are. He said that he had rather be deaf and dumb all the time than to be restored at times, as he is. He says after the sensa tion previous to his senses being restored has passed off he is happy. It is very novel, he said, to be sud denly brought to speech and hear ing. Wilson said that his father was a servant in the senate at Washington during President Grant’s administration. A Political Crank. Lewis Butler, the old negro who walked from Dooly county, to get a seat in the legislature, is a political crank. He is very ignorant, and has been persuaded for a number of years that his county was pining to have him take a seat among the law makers. When he appeared at the canitol yesterday he carried a cheap black valise broken in at either end and his shoes, which were cut open down the front and his pants stuff ed into them at the top. After be ing refused admittance to the House, he ambled down stairs and asked to see President Harrison. He was told that the President was not in Atlanta. He presisted that he must be, and showed a telegram from him asking him to come to At lanta. He was finally referred to Capt. Tip Harrison, who advised him to return to his cotton patch. The old man took this advice and left. In 1880 Lewis Butler ran for the legislature in Worth county against Joe M. Sumner, receiving one vote, cast by himself. Lewis remained at home during the win ter session, but when the summer session convened lie was persuaded that it was time to take the seat and came to Atlanta tor that pur pose, hut was unceremoniously hus tled from the house. In 18S2 he again entered the political field in Worth county against Billy Ford. The old man again received his own vote, aiui when the summer time came tramped to Atlanta, over 200 miles, to serve his half of the session. He moved over into Doo ly county, and ran against Mr. Col lier, received the same old Lewis Butler vote, but remained at home until he received the telegram from Harrison. Lewis says he is done with po!itics. A Lovely Woman overhead one say of her, “By heav en! she’s painted!” “Yes,” retorted she, indignantly, “and by heaven only!” ltuddy health mantled her cheek, enthroned on the rose and lily. Yet this beautiful lady once thin and pale, with a dry hacking cough, night-sweats, and a slight spitting of blood, seemed destined to fill a consumptive’s grave. After spending hundreds of dollars on physicians without benefit, she tried Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery; her improvement was soon marked, and in a few months she was plump and rosy again, the picture of health and strength. It is the only medicine of its class, sold by druggists under a positive guarantee that it will benefit or cure in all cases of disease for which it is recommended, or money paid in will be promptly refunded. Pirate's Flag on a Ciiurch Spire. New York, Aug. 7.—Sag Harbor has not had as much amusement for twenty years as a party of rol licking spirits gave it yesterday. Some time during Monday night a pirate’s flag was flung to the breeze from the weathercock on the stee- i !e of the Presbyterian church. The flag is coal black and about five feet square. In its center there is a grinning skull and cross bones in cardinal red. The members of the church and their shepherd, the Rev. Mr. Wilson, feel scandalized that their house of worship should have been selected for so conspicuous a desecration. The placing of the flag at the apex of the sDire was un doubtedly the work of bold hood lums. Whoever did it left no trace behind. Tire steeple is ISO feet above the roof of the church, and the cap on the wind guage is 22 feet higher still. The flag waved in a stiff breeze yesterday and to-day, but was too well fastened to be blown down. The trustees of the church have offered $20 for its re moval. A painter named Smith will undertake the hazardous task for $50. The trustees will pay $100 for the arrest of the person who placed the flag on the spire. CA UTIOX TO MOTHERS. Every mother is cautioned against giving her child laudanum or paregoric; it creates an unnatur al craving for stimulants which kill the mind or the child. Acker’s Baby Soother is specially prepared to benefit children and cure their pains. It is harmless and contains no opium or morphine. Sold by Whitehead «£ Co., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Midvilie. A Curious Find. Workmen on the Columbus South ern road, while digging in cuts yes terday turned ud an immense lot of solid rock resembling phosphate. The soil contains skeletons of very curiously formed animals, totally unknown in these parts at the pres ent day. Oyster beds have been discovered, and shark’s teeth and the teeth of various animals have been found in abundance. The most curious discovery of all was two live green bullfrogs, taken from an excavation in a solid rock. —Scherer always keeps the finest and best fruits to be found in the market. TO RUN KYTELEGRAPH. Thfi Central Railroad to Do Away With tlie Old Order of Things. Savannah News. The Central railroad will run its train by telegraph after August 18. It will adopt to-day week the stan dard train rules which were formu lated last year at a meeting in New York of the officials of the different roads in the Ufoited States. All of the roads in the North and a good many in the South have adopted the rules. It is the purpose in adopt ing them to have uniformity in railroading, and enabling an em ploye who leaves one railroad to se cure employment with another without having to go through a tedi ous examination. By the rules all even numbered trains, or those coming into Savan nah, will have absolute right of track over odd numberdd trains, or those leaving Savannah, of the same or inferior class. Fast mail trains coming into Savannah will have the right of track over all trains. The Savannah, Florida and Wes tern railway adopted the rules last January, and have been running by them ever since. Train Master Norman has been examining the Central employees for the past two months on the new rules. The Central is building a wire from Savannah to Atlanta, which will be distinctly the dispatcher’s wire and no message will be transmitted over it. Dispatchers Gossett and Southern are the present force, but it is likely that another dispatcher will be added soon. When the rules are adopted over this entire system, which will be during this month dispatchers will be placed at Macon, Augusta and Columbus. They will run the Southwestern, the Columbus and Western railroad and the Port Royal and Augusta railroad. Here tofore these lines have been opera ted on regular schedules, with rules requiring each train to wait so long for the delayed train. Telegraph stations will now be placed within ten miles of eaeh other and very effective work can be done. It is anderstoood that the following roads will adopt the new rules in a short while. The Georgia, Southern and Florida, East Tennessee, Virginia and Geor gia, Covington and Macon, Atlanta and West Point, and Georgia Mid land. Our I'lieobininal Rains. New York Herald. This year’s protracted rainfall, which led to May entaclysm at Johnstown and still continues on our eastern coasts, is the most mem orable physical phenomenon in American history'. During July just passed 9.G2 inches of rain fell in New York city and 8.39 in Philadel phia. Eight inches, therefore, may be taken as a fair average of the midsummer month’s fall over a belt of the Atlantic coast at least fifty' miles wide and stretching from New York to Charleston—an area exceeding thirty' thousand square miles. Computed by avoir dupois this deposit from the clouds over this area is fourteen thousaad millions of tons, or more than seven times the mean discharge of the lower Mississippi from all its out lets per day. The explanation of this enor mous rainfall on our Atlantic sea board will be found in the abnor mal distribution of barometric pres sure over the western Atlantic, similar to that which caused the March “blizzard” of ’88, and also late Johnstown aud allied flood rains. The vast anti-cyclone or wave of barometer on the ocean has moved westwardly, as pressure was low on the heated continent. While in July the hot atmosphere on the seaboard was densely charg ed with gulf stream vapor and in a state of unstable equilibrium, its slightest agitation, even in the ab sence of cyclones or brisk winds, sufficed to eleyate the vapor and cause excessive condensation, rivaling in quantity' that of the mountain cloud burst. SAVED BY A SNAKE. Wonderful Story of a Snake's Affection Tor a Child. Wichita, Kan., Aug. 11.—Coun cilman C. D. Sawyer, of Oklahoma An old slat—Attic. There is one good thing about a pig. He noses business. Even the golden rule is only elec- City tells the Wichita Journal the j troplated in these days of sham, following story about a snake: j it is the clerk of the weather Mr. Sawyer, with his wife and lit- j who frequently makes a signal fail ure. Display of ileloors. A DUTY TO YOURSELF. It is surprising that people will use a common ordinary pill when they can secure a valuable English one for the same money. Dr. Ack er’s English Pills are a positive cure for sickheadache and all liver troubles. They are small, sweet, easily taken and are for sale by Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro and E. A. Harris & Co., Midville. Noted Suicides In History. Pittsburg Commercial Gazette. The following are some of the more noted suicides of which men tion is made in history. These do not savor much of insanity', but rather of stoic philosophy: Cato stabbed himself rather than live under the despotic reign of Ciesar; Themistocles poisoned himself rather than lead the Perisians against his countrymen; Zeno when 98, hanged himself because he had put his linger out ot joint, and Hannibal and Mithridates pois oned themselves to escape being prisoners. When we search scrip ture we fined that Saul, rather than fall into the hands ot the Philis tines, commanded his armor-bearer to hold his sword that he might plunge upon it; Sampson for the sake of being revenged upon his enemies, pulled down the house in which they were revelling and “died with them,” and Judas Isca riot, after selling the savior for thirty' pieces of silver, was over come by' remorse “and went and hanged himself.” Lightning Strikes a Cotton Patch. During one of the thunderstorms of last week lightning struck in one of Zach Knight’s cotton fields near Quitman and killed the tops of the stalks for a space of about forty feet. The leaves were of a reddish color and as dry as powder, easily crumbling in the hand. The light ning wound up by knocking a hole in the ground in the center of the circle which it had devasted. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE Confirm our statement when we say that Acker’s English Remedy' is in every way superior to any and all other preparations for the throat and lungs. In vhooping cough and croup it is magic and relieves at once. We offer you a sample bottle free. Remember, this -remedy is sold on a positive guarantee by Whitehead &Co., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Midville. —The finest lot of fancy imported candies in the city can be found at C. E. Scherer’s. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. The occurrence which holds the first place in popular interest in August's astronomical annals takes place near the close ot the second week in the month. This is the display of meteors which is seen on the evenings of the 9th, 10th and 11th. On or about the date first named the earth every year, while sweeping along in its course around the sun, dashes into a swarm of meteors which are following in the track of one of the comets of 1802. The earth’s passage through this swarm takes three or four days. Meteors—which are the little points of moving light popularly called “falling stars”—are seen nearly every clear night during the year in some part of the sky if looked for carefully for an hour or two, but they are more numerous than usual around Nov. 10. “Star showers”— that is, a few meteors in the same region of the firmament in a few minutes of time—are sometimes seen about April 20 and November 27, but the most beautiful and inter esting displays are those which take place on or near August 10 and November 13. The August mete ors, if their course be traced back ward, will be found to emerge from that part of the sky occupied by the constellation Perseus. This star group rises in the northeast early in the evening in the opening days of August, and will be well above the horizon by'11 o’clock. The Brown-Sequard Elixir Working Wonders. Cincinnati, O., Aug. 10.—Dr. Longfellow reports he saw five of the eight cases that he treated with Brown-Sequard Elixir yesterday. Three were greatly benefitted. In two there was no change. One he heard was benefitted. Three were treated to-day. One was benefitted. Louisville, Ky., Aug., 10.—Drs. Wilson, Yoe and Dungan, of the hospital College of Medicine have been experimenting with the elixir prepared according to the Brown- Sequard formula as given by the Lancet with a rheumatic patient 70 y Trs old. They have obtained almost complete relief. He feels young and invigorated. Dr. Rob ert Potter has tried the elixir in the case of an asthmatic paralytic, who was informed of the nature of the treatment. The patient has partially recovered from paralysis and has now energy and strength. The ex periments are being continued. The Women Prise R. B. K. Tlie suffering of women certainly awakens the sympaty of every true obiiantliropist. Their best friend, however is a. B. B. (Bo tanic Blood Balm.) Send to Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga., for proofs. H. L. Cassidy, Kennesaw, Ga., writes: “Three bottles of B. B. B. cured iny wife of scrofula.” Mrs. R. M. Laws, Zalaba, Fla., writes: “I have never used anything to equal B. B. B.” Mrs. C. II. Gay, Rocky Mount, N. C„ writes “Not a day for 15 years was I free from head ache. B. B. B. entirely relieved me, I feel like another person.” James W. Lancaster, Hawkinsville, Ga., writes: “My wife was In had health for eight years. Five doctors and many patent medicines had done her no good, Six bottles of B. B. B. cured he.r,” Miss S. Tomlinson, Atlanta, Ga., says: “For years I suffered with rheumatism, caused by kidney trouble and indigestion, I also was feeble and nervous. B. B. B. re- lieuee me at once, although several other medicines had fai’ed. Rev. J. M. Richardson, Clarkston, Ark., writes: “My wife suffered twelve years with rheumatism and female complaint. A lady member of my church had been cured by B. B. B. She persuaded my wife to try It who bow says there is nothing like B. B, B., as it quicl ’y gave her relief.” tie girl, about two years of age, moved to Oklahoma from Stella, Neb., when the regular influx took place. Some months before leaving their home Mrs. Sawyer was almost frightened to death one morning to find coiled up in her baby’s cot a huge blaeksnake. She was afraid to kill the snake and too badly frightened to pick up the baby, who by this time was awake and, in a sweet innocent way, was patting the ugly reptile on the head and crowing with babyish delight at her pretty plaything. Mrs. Sawyer was surprised to notice that the snake instead of resenting the ad vances of the child, seemed rather to enjoy them, and as the baby continued the reptile made some soft, purring noise, not unlike a cat. She however, watched both and backed to the door, when she screamed out for her husband, who at once heard her and rushed into the room. He saw the situation, and proceeded to snatch the child away from the snake, which at once crawled out of the cot. Mr, Sawyer was anxious to see what 'the thing would do, and hesitated a few moments to kill the intruder, which meanwhile had crawled back into the cot, manifested no signs of fear and apparently looking for the baby. Time went on. The snake was not killed, Hut like many others of its kind became a pet with the family, and when the move to Okla homa was made, accompanied tlie crowd in a box made especially for its benefit. The carious part of the story follows: A few days ago Mrs. Saw yer was sitting in front of the house sewing, when she was disturbed by something tugging at the bottom of her dress. She looked down, and there was the snake with the hem of her garment in his mouth retreating towards the rear of the tent. Mrs. Sawyer tried to shake it off, but was unable to do so, and becoming alarmed and thinking the reptile meant harm, she rushed to the rear of the lot where she sup posed her husband to be. He, how ever. was not there, just on hear ing a cry she rushed to a pit about twelve feet deep, used as a deposi tory for sewage. She looked down and saw her little girl there, hav ing fallen in while at olay. The little girl was taken out un harmed and now the snake is a greater pet than ever in the family, as both Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer firmly believe that the sagacious reptile had instinct enough to tell them that the little one was in danger,’and hadt taken the means described to notify the child’s pa rents of the accident that had hap pened to their little one. Mr. Sawyer is a raliable gentle man. Whether the affair was a coincidence or a wonderful exhi bition of snake sense he can’t say. every An Electric Plant. There has been discovered in the forests of India a strange plant which posesses to a very high degree astonishing magnetic power. The hand which breaks a leaf from it receives immediately a shock equal to that which is produced by the conductor of an induction coil. At a distance of six meters a magnetic needle is affected by it and if brought nearer will be quite derang ed. The energy of this singular in fluence varies with the hour of the day. All powerful about 5 o’clock in the afternoon, it is absolutely annuled during the night. At times of storm its intensity augments to striking proportions. During rain the plant seems to suc cumb and bend, its head during a thunder shower; it remains there without lorce or virtue, even it one should shelter it with an umbrella. No shock is felt at that time in breaking the leaves aud the needle is unaffected beside it. One never by any chance sees a bird or insect alight on the elec tric plant; an instinct seems to warn them that they would there find sudden death. It is also impor tant to remark that where it grows none of,the magnetic metal is found, neither iron, nor cobalt, nor nickle, an undeniable proof that the elec tric force belongs exclusively to the plant. Light and neat, phosphores cence, magnetism, electricity, how many mysteries and botanical problems does this wonderous India plant conceal within its leaf and flower ? Those of you who are weary and heavy la den with sickness and care, weighed down with the infirmities that beset the human system, can find the one thing uecessary to restore you to bright buoyant health, in Sher man’s Prickly Ash Bitters.lt invigorates and strengthens the debilitated organs,aids diges tion and dispels the clouds arising from a dis eased liver. The first chapter in the history of a young woman’s love is chap, won. I don’t like sea bathing. It makes my hair so wet.” Why don’t you leave it in the dressing room. “Uncle,” said a sweet girl of eigh teen, “is love blind?” “Yes my dear, when the other party is rich.” answered he. Aunt Iletiy—“Well, Juliet, did you marry the man of your choice ?” Juliet—“Well I should smile! And I cut out Annie Wilkins, too.” No wonder hats begin to look played out at an early period of their mortal existence. They are on the rack about half the time. The base-ball player has no fear of his cheek. That is hard and durable. He puts ou the muzzle to save his nose and front teeth. Inquirer—‘jllow does your pro tracted meeting prosper, parson?” Parson—“O, well there’s a great wakening at the close of sermon.” “All things come to him who waits,’’says the proverb,but the man who after w aiting halt an hour, dis covers the last train has gone is not a believer in it. The only man who ever made a success in life without training in fluence of a mother was Adam, and he telt the need of one before his career closed. “What is your son doing now. Mr. Janeway?’ “Oh, he’s braced up wonderfully. He’s doing noth ing now. While he was in business he nearly ruined me.” Barber—“Do you want a close shave?” Bernstein—“Vat you charge, ten cents or fifteen?” Bar ber—“Fifteen cents.” Bernstein— “Den I guess petter as you go ofer m3’ face to vice. Mr. Societe (w T ho has been pre sented to a bevy of young iadies)— “Pardon me, but with so many names I am quite at sea regarding 3’ours.” She—But you are not far wrong. I am Miss Atwater.” It is wonderful wnen you think of it what a large number of men have started out into this world without a penn3' and have worked their way up so that they are row nearly as well off as when they first started out. Summer boarder—Your catalogue said there were no mosquitoes hereabout, Mr. Makemoney, but I killed seven last night. Mr. Make- mone3'—Yes, sir; no doubt, sir. But them there catalogues was sent out in March. Prudent lover—I have a vital secret to confide in you, which 3’ou must promise to forever hold sacred. Kind parent: What is your secret ? Prudent lover—I want your daughter’s hand in marriage. Kind parent—I shall never give it away. Husband—“Well, my dear, what did the magnetic physician say' to 3’ou ?” Wife—“He says I am a sick woman, and that my nervous system is not equilibrium. He says I am too positive.” Hus band—“Humph! I could have told you that aud saved a couple of dol lars.” Mr. J. R. Grinstead, Senora, Ky., says: My children have sometimes had boils and other signs of blood impurities, with loss of appetite, etc., at which times I have found Swift’s Specific a most successful remedy, in no instance failing to effect a speedy and permanent cure. “Swift’s Specific is a great bless ing to humanity’,” says Mr. P. E. Gordon, of 725 Broad street, Nash ville, Tenn., “for it cured me of rheumatism of a very bad type, with which I had been troubled for three or four years. S. S. S. cured me after I had exhausted every thing else.” Mr. Russell Myrick, of the firm of Myrick & Henderson, Fort Smith, Ark., says he wishes to add his tes timony to the thousands which have already been given as to Swift’s Specific.. He says he de rived the mo3t signal benefit from its use to cure painful boils and sores resulting from impure blood. When taken a few days, potash mixtures impair the digestion, take away the appetite, ami dry up the gastric juices which should assist in digestion and assimilating the food. Swift’s Specific has just the opposite effect; it improves diges tion, brings appetite, and builds np the general health.