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(The (True (Citizen. Suliivan Brothers. Publishers. Subscription Rates : One Copy one year - - $2 00 “ “ six months - 1 00 “ “ three months - 50 ]’ OS ITIVELY CASH. THE TRUE CITIZEN. Volume 8. Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, August 31st, 1889. Number 18. L. C. Hatse, J.T. NewBery, President, Cashier. Planters Iroan § jSavings Bank, 821 Broad SL, AUGUSTA, GA. Capital—All Paid in Cash, 1100,000. With Stockholders liability which guaran tees absolute safety to all depositors. This is the oldest Savings Bank in this city with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years. It transacts a general Banking business in all of its branches, and is authorized to re ceive and disburse money, securities or prop erty in trust, and to act as financial agent for any person firm or corporation. Interest allowed on deposits in the Savings Department. apr20,’89-by gig~ Sullivan lias been tried and f,und guilty and sentenced to 12 months in the penitentiary. His lawyers will carry his case up be fore a higher court. ggr Kilrain has been arrested and will have to stand his trial. Doubtless the same spoon from which Sulliva i took his medicine, will be used in physicing him. gjfgT The more conservative Re publican papers puts it rather mild when they express the opinion that the pension business “is some what overdone in this country.” In the North even religious organizations do not by any means fraternise with the brother In black. The Young Men’s Christian Associa tions of New York will not admit colored men to its membership. Mahone is making the race on the Republican ticket for a seat in the governor’s chair. If there is the right sort of manhood left in that once grand old commonwealth, the renegade will find that his methods are not approved by the sms of noble sires. High license in Pittsburg, Penn., reduced the bar rooms from $1,500 to $1000. Rut the judge hav- the prohibition craze a little too strong, has attempted to eject too much of it in his administration of the law, and the consequence is there are some 800 blind tigers, or according to Pittsburg slang “speak easies.” The judge in attempting to improve and go beyond the law, has as usual over done the thing. gJ&T" The first train over the Knoxville and Cumberland Gap R. R, had a tumble down a high trestle. The two coaches were filled with the prominent business men of Knoxville, who were rep resenting the city government, to ascertain whether or not the road had been completed according to the contract. Out of 50 passen gers—many of whom were men of prominence—41 were either killed or wounded. A prominent Republican of one of the northern states does not rate Corporal Tanner very high in proficiency. He says “he made a good soldier, and is a very fluent talker on the stump. But that the commissioner of pensions should be a lawyer, and Tanner’s mind or education has never gone in that direction. Moreover the commis sioner ought to be a man of busi ness sense. Tanner is all flush and flurry, working in the air, like a steamboat with her wheels out of water.” And yet this is the man appointed to handle and pay out over a hundred million of dollars annually. In one of the neighboring towns of Charleston, a white hoy. while carelessly handling a gun, let it go off, and a colored woman un fortunately receiving its contents was killed. Though the shooting was evidently accidental, yet the negroes became greatly exasperat ed and attempted to lynch the boy. He was by the sheriff lodged in jail for protection, and guarded by a posse of 20 men until the gov ernor had time to order the troops to the scene of trouble. The ne groes though overawed, are full of threats and denunciations. These little fracases have a tenden cy to stir up bad blood, and fan the slumbering embers of race preju dice. Trouble from this source is liable to come at anytime, and the negro who is generally the aggres sor will always he the sufferer. cr So far as Postmaster Lewis is concerned, the social element in At kinta will attempt to undo their un intentional wrongs. Gen. Lewis was welcomed to Atlanta, and though a Republican his position and ante cedents warranted the belielf that he was neither imbued with fanati cism nor annimated with a desire to run counter to the settled con victions of the people, just to stir up discord and make the pool of politics a little more muddy. The Atlanta Rubber Co., of which he was the president, finds that lie is too heavy a load to carry and his resignation was requested and ac cepted. The Gate City club, in or der that his social position might be established, admitted him to its membership, but since his appoint ment of a “buck negro” to h place whose duties bring him into tre- quent and close business compan ionship with a young lady, the members of the club are not willing to meet socially, the man who so pointedly ignores the ver£ corner stone of their social fabric. Gen. Lewis may hold on to his office, just to get out ot it} the loaves and fishes, but hereafter the social affinities of himself and family must run out m the direction of Penney and his backers. The people in Atlanta who make up decent society, are uow disposed to let him severely alone. Silput Jack, “Silent Jack” got into port at Brunswick the other day, aboard the Minnie Bonsai!, a pretty craft. “Silent Jack” has a history, and it having fallen to the knowledge of a Brunswick Times reporter the nar rative has gotten into print. The story is a strange one. Not one of “Silent Jack’s” fellow sailors knows his name. He hardly ever speaks. He is polite; never troublesome; never complains. He is a man of thorough education and belongs to one of th'e first families of New Jer sey. The known events in the life of “Silent Jack” as told by the gay old Captain of the Minnie Bonsall, is doubly interesting. “But let me heave to, and 9piu the yarn. He hails from a little New Jersey town where he married as pretty a mate as ever was trimmed for the matri monial sea. But the marriage raised a storm and I’ll tell you the young couple had a blustery time ol it. Her folks were the breakers and at last their craft run upon it and downthey went. She was run off to some Wes tern town and there a divorce was bought for her, though they say she knew nothing of it. Her husband left the place and took to the sea. About a year afterward, one day in New York, just after he had landed he went into a restaurant for a meal. A pretty waiter girl came up to take his order, and by Jove she was the sailor’s divorced wife! You may he quite sure there was a fluttering of two hearts, and the outcome of it was they went off and were spliced again. I don’t know how it happen ed for he won’t tell but it wasn’t more than a week after their sec ond marriage before she suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and from that day to this he has never set eyes on her. I met a schoolmate of the sailor not long ago and he told me that a second divorce had followed. Phe strangest part of the whole thing to me is that the sailor never goes to his hunk to sleep without offering up a prayer tor his twice made wife, white never a word does lie say for him self. And he carries her picture in his pocket all the time, and many a day I’ve seen him up in the rigging take it out and look at it and kiss it again and again. There’s something back of all this, but I don’t know what it is. He is well educated and could fill almost any position where brains, energy aud sobriety are in demand. But he won’t leave the lifo lie is now following. He seems to-want the solitude of the ocean, and when we are in port he stays aboard the Minnie the whole time. No need to ask him anything, he won’t talk to you. I call him ‘Silent Jack.’ That’s all the name he has here. And silent he is too. That’s my yarn for you. No,no thanks ne cessary.” The Women Prise It. It. It. The suffering of women certainly awakens tliesj-mpaty of every true philanthropist. Their best friend, however is It. B. B. (Bo tanic Blood Balm.) Semi to Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga., for proofs. H. L. Cassidy, Kennesaw, Ga., writes: “Three bottles of It. B. B. cured my wife of scrofula.” Mrs. R. M. Laws, Zalaba, Fla., writes: “I have never used anything to equal B. B. B.” Mrs. C. H. Gay, Rocky Mount, X. C„ writes “Not a day for 15 years was I free from head ache. B. It. B. entirely relieved me, I feel like another person.” James W. Lancaster, Hawkinsvillc, Ga., writes: “My wife was in bad health for cisht years. Five doctors and many patent medicines had done her no good, Six bottles of B. B. B. cured her,” Miss S. Tomlinson, Atlanta, Ga., says: “For years I suffered with rheumatism, caused by kidney trouble and indigestion, I also was feeble and nervous. B. B. B. re- lieuec me at once, although se/eral other medicines had failed. Rev. J. M. Richardson, Clarkston, Ark., writes: “My wife suffered twelve years with rheumatism and female complaint. A lady member of my church had been cured by B. B. B. She persuaded my wife to try it who how says there is nothing like B. B, B., as it quickly gave her relief.” IJttie Girls I‘la)iiig Doctor. Nashville, Tenn., Aug. 25.—-Lit tle Mamie Parker, fourteen years old, died yesterday afternoon from the effects of medicine administer ed toiler by her little cousin, Bessie Woods. They were playing doctor with each other, with Bessie pre tending to he the physician. She made her little cousin take ten pills and took several herself. When Mamie became ill, Dr. Stephens was sent tor immediately, but they could do no good in relieving the sufferer, as she breathed her last yesterday, shortly afterwards. Her parents were sent for, but did not arrive in time to see their child alive. They were frantic with grief. An antidote was given to Bessie Woods aud relieved her. She is still quite sick, but is con sidered in no danger. The pills were of various kinds, some being tonic, some laxative, hut their ex act contents could not be acertained. ARE YOU SKEPTICAL f If so we will convince you that Acker’s English Remedy for the lungs is superior to all other prepar ations, and is a positive cure for all throat and lung troubles, croup, whooping cough and colds. We guarantee the preparation and will give you a sample bottle free. Sold by Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro and E. A. Harris, MIdville. “Won’t Someone Pray for Me.” Redbank, N. J., Aug. 25.—A coachman employed by Richard J. Dobbins, a summer resident of Long Branch, died of injuries receiy- ed while taking his employer’s horses on a train from Long Branch to Philadelphia. He was sitting on the floor of the car in which the horses were, with his legs hanging out of the door at the side. As the train was crossing the Oceanport bridge, his legs struck the draw and were nearly torn off. He drew himself into the car and tried to reach the bell rope to sum mon some of the train hands to his assistance, but he failed. He called loudly for help. His cries were heard finally by the train men. When Redbank was reached they carried him into the freight house. Doctors did all they could hut he died about three hours after acci dent. His name is Bell. He leaves a wife and two children living at Jenkinton, Pa. While Bell lay alone on the car floor he bandaged his legs to pre vent the flow of blood. He had two handkerchiefs and he knew whereythe arteries were. He knot ted each handkerchief and then bound them around his legs above the injured parts. The thick parts were properly placed ou the arte ries, but he was too weak to tie the handkerchiefs sufficiently tight. Nevertheless, he probably saved several hours of his hie. Just be fore he died he said: “I am dying and know it. Won’t someone pray forme?” A stranger in the depot stepped forward and made a prayer and soon afterward Bell breathed his last, Y&lue oT AdvcrtUcniPiits. “Do I believe in advertising,” said a prominent lawyer, a day or two ago. “Well rather; and in the hid den advertisement more than in any other. I remember, one day, reading a very interesting story, that ended in which I took to he a puff for Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Purga tive Pellets. I threw down the paper in a rage. Not a week after that I needed some medicine of that kind, and went and bought those same little pills.” “Did I find them good ?” “Why, yes, the best thing of the kind I ever saw, hut that has nothing to do with the first question, and I only mention the joke on mj’self to show that ad vertising does pay.” A llorsp Hair Suuke. Cherokee Advance. We have been shown a very won derful snake by Mr. H. H. McEn- tyre, of this place - It is a horse hair snake, being formed out of a simple horse hair. Some days ago his -children threw several horse hairs in an eddy place in the branch and afterwards put them in cans partially filled with water, where they remained a few days. Upon pouring them out it was found that horse hairs of a few days before were now perfectly formed, wrig gling snakes. When told of this we were incredulous and had Mr. McEntyre bring one of them to the office. Upon examination we found it to be as stated, perfectly formed, a keen, tapering tail, larger around the body than elsewhere, and a kind of knot for a head. It is about as large around the body as a pencil point, and when spread out upon the table will wriggle around and slide off, this may seem an incredulous snake story to you. So it was to us, but whatever the explanation may be the horse hair has the resemblance ot a tiny snake both in its form and actions. PIMPLES ON THE FA CE Denote an impure state of the blood and are looked upon by many with suspicion. Acker’s Blood Elixir will remove all impurities and leave the complexion smooth and clear. There is nothing that will so thoroughly build up the constitu tion, purify and strengthen the whole system. Sold and guaran teed by Whitehead A Co., Waynes boro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Mid- yille. Saraonali as an Outlet. Birmingham, Ala., Aug. 17.—Dirt was broken to-day with an impo sing demonstration at Huntsville for the line of the Cincinnati, Ala bama and Atlantic railroad, which is to run from Cincinnati due south to Huntsville, Ala., and then deflect either to Birmingham or Savannah. Bonds are said to have been nego tiated with which to push the line through. CAUTION TO MOTHERS. Every mother is cautioned against giving her child laudanum or paregoric; it creates an unnatur al craving for stimulants which kill the mind or the child. Acker’s Baby Soother is specially prepared to benefit children and cure their pains. It is harmless and contains no opium or morphine. Sold by Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris A Co., Midvilie. —Call on Mulherrin, Rice A Co. Augusta, Ga., for boots, shoes, slip pers and hats. tf A Sanctlllccl Laity in DeKalb. I understand there is a young lady in the neighlorhord of Lithonia, who professes entire sanctification. Her name is often mentioned throughout that section. Her preacher says she is now the medi um of accomplishing much good by her pious walk and conversations, encouraging many to embrace their Savior. She appears to be entirely consecrated. A gentleman who is a near relation to the young lady informs me that since she received the “second blessing” or professed sanctification, which was during the holiness meeting at Lithonia last spring, she will converse only inci- dently upon any other subject than religion. This is her only theme. When placed in the company with other young ladies and gentlemen, she will remain just so long as the conversation is confined strictly to religious subjects, anu when divert ed from that to any social topics she will leave their company. She refuses absolutely to converse with her sweet heart, who for some time had been devoting to her his atten tion, only on religious subjects strict ly. Owing to afiiiction in he father’s family she could not attend the meeting at Shady Grove, as was greatly desired by many. PEOPLE E1 'ER r WHERE Confirm our statement when we say that Acker’s English Remedy is in every way superior to any and all other preparations for the throat and lungs. In whooping cough and croup it is magic and relieves at once. We offer you a sample bottle free. Remember, this remedy is sold on a positive guarantee by Whitehead A Co., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris A Co., Midvilie. The Great Dragon Tree. The great dragon tree of Orotava until recently for 10,000 years guard, ed the entrance to the golden apples in the garden of the Hesperides. Its trunk measured GO feet in height and was 48*.j feet in circumference. It resembled more the Asparagus plant of .the vegetable kingdom, than a tree of the forest. There was an immense hollow in its trunk, large enough to hold a table around which 14 persons could seat them selves. From it a blood red sap ex uded freely, and in ancient times the natives used it in embalming their dead. In 1493, when that place was conquered by Alonzo de Luga, its hollow was converted into a chapel for holy mass, to atone for all the profane myteries which had been for centuries used in the performance of judicial rites. This tree died very suddenly a few years ago, and there is now growing on the spot a young tree which sprang up from one of its seed. Will this young plant be standing 10,000 years from now? If so, and it could talk what volumes of history it might unfold, and how rich and rare would be its experience. Djmg from Bee Stings. Pomona, Cal., Aug. 23.—Alice, the 18-year-old daughter of Edward Quimby, lies at the point ot death at her father’s home near Cucamon in Pomona valley. While watching honey bees on her father’s ranch on Tuesday she was suddenly at tacked by the insects. She tried to drive them away and flee, but the bees only increased in numbers and there was a perfect cloud of them about her. She was found lying un conscious on the ground, and when carried to the house a physician was called. Last eyening she be came unconscious and has since been sinking to her death. Her face and neck are so swollen that her friends would not know her, while her arms and ankles are more than double their normal size. Her eyes and mouth are so swollen that she cannot open them. A Novel Invention. Mechanical genius was wrought to a high pitch the other day over an exhibition of a piece of mechan ism by an employe of the Rome roll ing mill. It is termed a “chicken walker.” It proposes to do away with the fences around gardens and protect the gardens from dam age by chickens. When the ma chinery is placed on a chicken’s feet, and the fowl goes in the gar den and makes an effort to scratch the soil, instead of accomplishing its desire, the attachment walks the chicken out of the garden. The harder it scratches the faster it goes. The inventor has a bright future, and has the good wishes of the gardeners. A DUTY TO YOURSELF. It is surprising that people will use a common ordinary pill when they can secure a valuable English one for the same money. Dr. Ack er’s English Pills are a positive cure for sickheadache and all liver troubles. They are small, sweet, easily taken and are for sale by Whitehead A Co., Waynesboro and E. A. Harris & Co., Midvilie. A Horae Swam Eight Milos. Richmond Register. A horse belonging to a ferryman was on the boat yesterday at Irvine and was in the act ol drink ing, when he plunged forward from some cause and fell into the water up to hts nose. With remarkable instinct he turned round and swam to the boat, and made several ef forts to crawl back into it, hut it only served to push it further away. By this time he had drifted below the terry, and he then made 'efforts to get out upon either bank. In this he also failed, as the bank was too steep. lie then turned aside and swam down the middle of the river. The ferryman, Mr. White, made vain efforts to rescue his horse, and, watching him until he was out of sight, gave up all hopes of ever seeing him again. Next morning tiie passengers on the Irvine stage were amused at the manner in which the ferryman was fondly caressing a horse which had just arrived, and, later learned that the steamboat from Ford had picked up the swimming horse eight miles below. When dragged upon the boat he sank down, too completely exhausted to stand: When this became known the sym pathising passengers joined with Mr. White in his exuberance over the recovery of his noble steed. Left $6,000 to a Shop Girl. New York, Aug. 24.—Probably the happiest saleslady in this city to day is Miss Hattie Minzenheimer, of 847 Second avenue, an employe of Lichtenstein A Co., of Grand street. A few days ago a letter was receiv ed by Mr. Lichtenstien from San Francisco. The writer requested to know whether a girl named “Hat tie” was still in the firm’s employ. A gentleman, whose name was not given, had died six weeks previous and willed her $5,000. The letter was signed “H. B. Danner, admin istrator.” Mr. Danner also asked that the Grand street firm write to Mayor Pond, of San Francisco, giv ing the full name of Hattie. The girl’s unknown benefactor visited this city several years ago and made a number of purchases in Lichtenstien’s. He was smitten with Hattie and asked her to tell him her name. She refused. He then begged her to accept a pres ent. This she also refused. He left aud she declares that she has neith er seen nor heard of him since. Hattie is anxiously awaiting the arrival of the $5,000. The Death Boll. The death roll ot the present general assembly is a long and sad one. True, there are but six names upon it, isn’t that number sufficiently large to give startling emphasis to the fact that it has never before been equalled by any other general assembly! Here is the roll: Mr. Collins, of Spalding, died the day the house met; Mr. Hunt, of Catoosa, was killed in At lanta last session; Mr. Chamberliss, of Bibb; Mr. Maddox, of Clinch, and Senator S. E. Fields, of the forty- third district, and Mr. Arnheim, of Dougherty. Six chairs made va cant by the touch of death. A Ghost of a Cat. “My house,” said a Brunswick lady the other day, “is haunted by the ghost oi a cat. My room over looks the roof of the porch. When ever the moon is shining, I can see upon the roof, just at one of the windows, a large yellow cat. It can’t be alive for I have thrown all sorts of articles at it without be ing able to make it stir. I have even punched it with a broom han dle and I have seen the handle go clear through the ghostly animal. It is curious isn’t it!” Stabbed to Death in Court. Louisville, Ky., Aug. 24,—At Somerset to-day while D. J. Sharp was giving his testimony in court, Miss Goodman who was interested in the case, cried out upon some answer of Sharp’s, a lie. Sharp sprang up and struck her. Her brother, Henry Goodman grappled with Sharp, and after a short strug gle stabbed him to death. Good man escaped. A posse is in pur suit. At first a little, backing cough, “ ’Tis nothing but a cold,” They say, “ ’Twill soon wear off.” Alas, the story old! The hectic cheek, the failing strength, The grief that cannot save, And life’s wan flame goes out at length, In a consumptive’s grave. If persons would use Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery, when ir ritation of the lungs is indicated by a cough, it would be he an easy matter to avert consumption. Be wise in time. The “Discovery” is guaranteed to cure in all cases of disease for which it is recom mended, or money paid for it will be promptly refunded. —Largest assortment of plain and fancy crackers at C. E. Scherer’s. The Eyes of Great Men. Philadelphia Press. An oculist who has made the lyi- man eye a study for thirty years, and who has examined many famous men’s eyes, declared the other day that the “thoroughbred American” eye is steel blue in color. “Would you say that black-eyed and brown-eyed men are deficient in intellect ?” “Not that, to he sure, since his tory has afforded some examples of able men whose eyes possessed this pigment. But, undeniably, among the people of higher civili zation eyes grow lighter in hue, and there are to-day far more blue eyed persons than there were a century ago. If you will take pains to inquire the color of the eyes of Bismarck, Gladstone, Hux ley, Virchow, Buchner, Renan, in fact of any of the living great, as well as of the great army of the dead who inlife distinguished them selves, you will learn that most of them have, or had, eyes of blue or gray. It has seemed to me that the pigment is in the way; that it ob scures the objects presented to the visual organ, and the aspiring mind seeking the greatest light casts it off.” Tirelrt: Month* for a Gallon. Perry Jounal. This week a white man has been sent from Houston county to serve two months in the chaingang at Steven’s pottery for stealing a jug containing a gallon of whisky. On Wednesday of last week the noon train from Fort Valley contained a passenger named J. D. Thompson, who claimed to be a printer from from Atlanta. Dasher station was his professed destination, but he got off a short distance above that point. He carried with him a jug containing a gallon of whisky. Upon examining the express list. Conductor Driggers discovered that a jug of whisky was missing. Ar riving at Perry he informed Sheriff Cooper of the theft, and that ef ficient ^ officer immediately went after the thief, aud found him drunk in a negro cabin. Thereupon he was arrested, brought to Perry, and lodged in jail, and at subse quent trial in Houston county court, the evidence was direct, and Judge Miller sentenced him to pay a fine ot $50 or serve twelve months in the chaingang. In default of the money, Thompson was sent to Stevens’s pottery this week. Mr. J. Gnnstead, Senora, Ky., says: My children have sometimes had boils and other signs of blood impurities with loss of appetite, etc., at which times I haye found Swift’s Specific a most successful remedy, in no instance failing to effect a speedy and permanent cure. “Swift’s Specific is a great bless ing to humanity,” says Mr. P. E. Gordon, of 725 Broad street, Nash ville, Tenn., “for it cured me of rheumatism of a very bad type, with which I had been troubled for three or four years. S. S. S. cured me after I had exausted everything else.” Mr. Russell Myrick, of the firm of Myrick A Henderson,Fort Smith, Ark., says he wishes to add his tes timony to the thousands which have already been given as to Swift’s Specific. He says he de rived the most signal benefit from its use to cure painful boils and sores resulting from impure blood. When taken for a few days, potash mixtures impair the diges tion, take away the appetite, and dry up the gastric juices which should assist in digestion and as similating the food. Swift’s Specific has just the opposite effect; it im proves digestion, brings appe tite and builds up the general health. Assessment of the S. T. A W, K. R. Atlanta, Ga., Aug. 27.—A tre- mendons increase has been made in the valuation of the Savannah, Florida and Western by the board of assesors appointed by the gov ernor. The board reported to the comptroller to-day and assesses the property at $5,177,705. The compa ny’s figures were $4,037,113, a dif ference of over $1,000,000. Unless arbitration is demanded the road will be taxed on the figures of the assessors. Those of you who are weary and heavy la den with sickness and care, .weighed down with the infirmities that beset th£ human system, can find the one thing necessary to restore you to bright buoyant health, in Sher man’s Prickly Ash Bitters.lt invigorates ar.d strengthens the debilitated organs,aids diges tion and dispels the cloudsarising from a dis eased liver. —When you go to Augusta stop at the Augusta hotel." You will re ceive kind attention and get good fare. Calling a halt—“Hi, there, you cripple!” The road to ruin leads through the wicket gate. Berry pickers get what they can and can what they get. A circular saw—the maxim that travels round the world. “It is the little things that tell,” especially little brothers. You cannot always tell the amount of gas in a poem by its meter. Take de lie outen de worl’ an’ de sweetness would done be gone frum de truth. Of course the gay and festive mosquito whets his whistle at mos quito bars. The man who is in the habit of trying to get to the bottom of things should beware ot failing overboard in mid-ocean. “Define a monstrosity,” said the teacher, and the children replied in a ringing chorus. “An insurance agent with the mumps.” Dairyman’s son—A mouse has fallen into the milk. His mother— Did you take it it out? Boy—No; I have thrown the cat in. Rejoice, O young man, in the days of thy youth, hut remember that, big as he is, the whale does not blow much until he reaches the top. The July Century has an article entitled “The Temperance Question in India.” We hadn’t time to read it, but feel sure it is Jug-er-naut. Dutch courage—Mrs. Lushforth: How dare you come home in such a condition ? Mr. Lushforth: Jus’ bikkoz zi am iu such a condizh’n, m’ dear. Mother (reading)—A machine has been invented that will fling a man 1,500 feet in the air. Pretty daughter—Horrors! Don’t let pa hear of it. Teacher—Sammie, how many bones are there in the human—body your father’s, for instance? Sam mie—One; he’s the ossified man at the museum. Doctor—“Now my little man, you take this medicine and I will give you five cents.” Young America— “You take it yoursell and I will go you five cents better.” Young lady—“That parrot you sold me last week doesn’t talk at all.” Dealer—“Yes’m; you said you wanted one that wouldn’t be^a nuis ance to the neighbors.” “You do not sing as much as you used to, Mr. Scales?” said a young lady. “No,” What is the matter? I fear I have lost my voice. “Then let us hope nobody will find it.” A lady who advertised for a girl to do light housework, received a letter from an applicant who said her health demanded sea air and asked to know where the lighthouse was situated. He (at dinner)—“May I assist you to the cheese, Miss Vassar?’, Miss Vassar (just graduated)—“Thanks, no; I am very comfortable where I am; but you may assist the cheese to me if you will.” Ella—“Where will you pass the summer! Are you going into the country?” Bella—“I don’t know I’m sure. Papa said something about going into insolvency, and if he says so I suppose we shall have to go there.” I am sorry to give you pain, Mr. Furgerson she said to the kneeling youth, but your score Is a goose egg this time. Not much, Miss Kajones he replied, haughtily as he rose up and took his hat; you can’t prevent me from scoring a home run. A musician brought to despair by the poor playing of a lady-in a room above his own, meets her one day in the hall with her three-year-old child and says in a most friendly manner: “Your little one there plays quite well for her age! I hear her play every day?” Mrs. Deering—I was surprised at your condition when you came in last night. It’s a long time since I saw you so before. Mr. Dffering—Now, what’s the matter ? I’ll swear I was sober last night. Mrs. Deering—I know you were, and that’s what surprised me. “Since you have insisted on try ing on my hat, Miss Mable, I shall certainly claim.the forfeit.” “I don’t know what you mean, sir, and be sides this isn’t a good place; they can see us from the hotel.” Brown—Whose umbrella is this? it looks like one 1 lost. Smith—I don’t see howit can, for I scraped the handle, and altered it . generally. For sick headache, female troub les, neuralgic pains in the head take Dr. J. H. Mclean’s Little Liver and Kidney Pillets. 25 cents a viaL