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TheTrue Citizen, Wednesday, December 30, 2009 — Page 9
Best of the Blotter, 2009
Some of our most read “From the Blotter”
blips for the year
The streak
A Hephzibah man was arrested for public
indecency after the Richmond County
Sheriff’s Office passed on complaints about
midnight sightings of a naked man walking
on Farmers Bridge Road.
Burke County deputies arrived to find a 54-
year-old Burke County man standing on the
roadside in his birthday suit. When officers
asked him to step over to the patrol car, he
reportedly lay down in the embankment and
begged them to let him go so that “the
church” wouldn’t find out. He was taken to
Burke County Jail on a misdemeanor charge.
Strange uri-notion
Deputies had a strange encounter with a
New York man.
They questioned the 39-year-old after they
saw him walking down Stoney Bluff Road
dressed in all black.
He wasn’t wanted on any charges and
wasn’t doing anything wrong, but deputies
were still a little perplexed. According to the
report, the man carried three bottles of urine
with him and was intent on not giving them
up.
Mother of a fight
A Waynesboro woman faces criminal
charges after seeking an officer’s help, then
trying to provoke a fight right in front of him.
According to a report filed at the
Waynesboro Police Department, the 25-year-
old woman told the officer she was having
trouble with a neighboring family at Magno
lia Acres and needed help straightening things
out.
As she and the officer began walking to
ward the family’s apartment, the woman re
portedly pulled off her shirt, kicked off her
shoes and ran toward the apartment in an ef
fort to fight them.
Because she had recently given birth, she
was not arrested but issued a citation to ap
pear in court.
Struck by “stu”pid
A Waynesboro woman showed her love
when she took the rap for her sweetheart just
before Valentine’s Day. The boyfriend was
eventually arrested for DUI and a slew of
other charges - but not before he coerced his
lady into confessing she was the culprit.
According to a report filed at the sheriff’s
office, a Coleman-Young Road landowner
called deputies when he saw someone cut
ting doughnuts and spinning tires. Before
long, the vehicle rolled over and wrecked in
a field.
The woman arrived at the scene claiming
she was the driver but family members and
friends gave her fellow up when she was
taken to jail, the report said. Her fiance, who
was described by deputies as “dirty, wet, ran
cid and tremendously unkempt” finally fessed
up after watching her get fingerprinted.
He told jailers that he and a friend went
drinking at the Pub and Discotheque in Au
gusta and were taking turns to see who could
be the “most daring” behind the wheel.
Mama’s boy
A Gough man called deputies late Mon
day night when he couldn’t get into his
house. The 72-year-old man explained that
his mother had locked him out for coming
home drank again.
Romantic getaway
Police are looking for two shoplifters with
romance on their radars.
According to a report filed at the
Waynesboro Police Department, two
women with small children in tow were
spotted filching products from the
Walgreens’ shelves.
They got away but police are still look
ing for their turquoise Honda Civic.
Among the $80 in stolen goods were two
tubes of lip gloss and a package of 30 male
enhancement pills.
Wearing the pants
A Waynesboro woman asked police to in
tervene after she mistakenly handed off a
UPS package to the wrong apartment ten
ant.
When the mistake came to light, the in
tended recipient, who had been awaiting a
delivery of new clothes, knocked on her
neighbor’s door and asked for her box.
According to the report, the neighbor de
nied ever having the package... even though
she was wearing a new pair of pants just
like the ones that had been ordered.
Just helping
A Hephzibah teen was taken into custody
after a neighbor caught him at the back door
of his Pine Needle Road home with a Wii
game system in his clutches.
When asked what he was up to, the 17-
year-old boy said he was passing through
when he saw the console and several games
on the ground.
He told the homeowner he was only try
ing to help by putting them back inside.
Deputies detained the boy, but the neigh
bor opted for a sit-down talk with the teen
rather than criminal charges.
Hide and seek
A Waynesboro woman got the shock of
her life when a gun chase made a detour
through her apartment.
According to a report filed at the
Waynesboro Police Department, the Davis
Road resident was lying in bed when she
heard gunshots outside.
Then came a teenager who ran through
the open front door, closed himself off in a
bedroom and yelled that another teen was
trying to shoot him. The gunman followed,
but turned back without causing any more
problems. The woman told police her three
young children were inside the apartment
during the brief pursuit.
In circles
A Sardis woman went clubbing and nearly
lost her car in the process.
According to a report filed at the sheriff’s
office, the woman went into Lorenzo’s Club
in Girard and later came out to find a big
fight going on right next to her Toyota
Avalon.
The woman told officers a man was run
ning from a large a group of people when
he jumped into her car and took off around
the parking lot. According to the report, the
man was driving in circles in an attempt to
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run over the men who’d been chasing him.
The merry-go-round finally stopped when
someone jumped in the car and slammed it
into park. The man fled, but left behind a
big dent and a cracked windshield.
Family tree
Police got involved after a knock-down
drag-out between grown siblings turned
bloody.
Last Tuesday, the cops were called when a
51-year-old Waynesboro man was seen stum
bling in the Savannah Avenue area with a
bloodied head.
He told police his 47-year-old sister had
bopped him on the head with an iron pipe.
The sister told police her brother punched
her in the nose. According to the report, both
siblings were intoxicated.
While officers tried to get to the bottom
of it, a witness told them the brother shoved
his sister into a tree and hit his own head in
the process. The man was taken to Burke
Medical Center for stitches, and both sib
lings were sent home to sober up.
Give me justice ... or jail
A Waynesboro man screaming for justice
got jail instead.
A clubber caught the attention of deputies
working security outside Club Paradise when
he came out screaming that a woman had
slapped him.
According to the report, he began yelling
about justice at the top of his lungs and in
sisted that he be allowed to slap her back.
After several minutes of refusing to settle
down, follow instructions and call someone
to pick him up, he was arrested for disor
derly conduct.
Nearly naked
A Waynesboro woman who went clubbing
was in for an ugly surprise.
According to a report filed at the Burke
County Sheriff’s Office, she went into Club
Paradise and came out four hours later to
find a nearly-naked man asleep in the
backseat of her previously locked car.
She told police the man, who was wearing
nothing but underwear, threw up in her car
before calling it a night.
The man fled when she yelled at him but
left behind all his clothes.
Wigging out
Police got involved when a quarrel got a
little hairy.
A Waynesboro couple out for a drive were
apparently arguing when the woman ordered
the man out of her car.
He did as she wished, but not before
snatching the wig off her head and running
with it.
The woman apparently tried to hit him
with the car, but said she only did so be
cause the wig had cost $1,000.
The offender was later picked up on un
related charges... but no word on the where
abouts of the wig.
For the dogs
A Keysville man was jailed when his
"dewormer” turned out to be cocaine.
According to a report fded at the sheriff’s
office, the 35-year-old resident was jailed
after an officer attempted to question him
about burglary. When the officer searched
him, he found a cigarette box with a small
bag of white powder inside.
The offender claimed it was only de
wormer for his dogs but a quick test at the
sheriff’s office proved it wasn’t. The man
was booked into jail for possession of co
caine.
No, we weren’t
A 19-year-old uncle and his 19-year-old
nephew were arrested for wailing on each
other in the Augusta Tech bathroom.
Officers were called to the scene where
the uncle had suffered a bloody nose and
ripped shirt and his nephew had two split
lips and a lump on his head.
Both men told officers they’d been injured
in a bathroom accident which began when
the uncle slipped on his own urine and fell
on top of his nephew.
Augusta Tech employees noted the bath
room was covered in blood and that several
witnesses heard the men fighting. Officers
noted that both men smelled strongly of al
cohol.
The pair finally admitted they’d been
fighting but couldn’t agree on why. The
nephew said his uncle was mad because he’d
been late picking him up for school. The
uncle said the nephew got mad because he
(the uncle) was wearing his jeans. They were
both banned from the school and arrested
on numerous charges.
Jenkins
12/30-01/09
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