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The True Citizen, Wednesday, February 9, 2022 — Page 3
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1 TODAY 1
I THURSDAY 1
1 FRIDAY 1
1 SATURDAY
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FIVE-DAY
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Forecast of the National Weather Service
Sustaining relationships over time
SHELLIE SMITLEY
thetruecitizen.shellie@gmail.com
Relationships, like the peo
ple who engage in them, main
tain a constant state of devel
opment that requires a level of
conscious elasticity.
People are drawn to falling
in love because it seems to
complete them. Love assists in
embodying one’s self, pointed
out local marital and family
therapist Maxwell Kennedy.
However, committed rela
tionships have developmental
stages. The early stages of ro
mantic relationships are fueled
by magic and enchantment.
“This other person comes into
our life and we experience
something that makes us a feel
like a fuller human being. But
some of that enchantment can
be a little delusional,” Ken
nedy said laughing. “It’s not
quite accurate, however it is
necessary in order to begin the
relationship.”
Kennedy said he experi
enced that type of love in the
summer of 1961 when he met
his first girlfriend during a
week of summer camp. The
two young lovebirds corre
sponded by written letter for
more than a year.
“I can remember the an
ticipation of going down to the
post office in Sardis, a couple
times a week,” he said. “Each
time there was this excitement
that built up inside of me.”
As The Temptations sang
their hearts out to the tune of
“My Girl,” Kennedy became
swept away by the magic of a
relationship, that in his eyes,
met every preconceived expec
tation and myth of what being
in love meant.
However, Kennedy’s inter
lude, not unlike most romantic
relationships, moved forward
with time. Often, there is a
reality that sets in that shat
ters the original expectation.
People might not realize that
the early stage of a relation
ship may be sustained by the
culture in which people live,
along with family experiences.
Additionally, although origi
nally drawn to each other by
similarities, there is also an
attraction to differences that
balance out the partnership.
Coming to grip with the dif
ferences can cause somewhat
of a dilemma the couple must
overcome. As a relationship
enters the next phases of de
velopment, the couples begin
to notice more profoundly the
imperfections of their partners.
“She can’t cook like Mama,”
Kennedy said as an example
and laughed. “There are all
types of things that we dis
cover when we begin to move
through that romantic part of
the relationship. You are mov
ing to a different place, where
that projection you have made
about the ideal person is begin
ning to tarnish and you begin
to see the other person in a
real way.”
The “real way” is the aspect
of the relationship that requires
work. Quoting pioneer family
therapist Carl Whitaker, Ken
nedy said that marriage is the
“most difficult thing that any
one will ever do on purpose.”
The challenge is sustaining the
relationship after the enchant
ment has vanished. People
must deal with a gap that exists
between what the relationship
is and what they thought it
would be. Partners must find
the flexibility to become toler
ant of each other.
Not only does the relation
ship go through developmental
stages, but each partner will
also grow as an individual.
As people age their perspec
tives change. Children add to
the mix of who will grow and
change within the household
unit.
“So not only do you have to
be responsible for your own
self and the changes that are
occurring in you, but you have
to be somehow responsive to
the changes that are happen
ing within your spouse, and
those that are happening in the
children,” he said and pointed
out that all of these adaptive
changes take place simultane
ously to changes within the
systems in which people work
and worship. COVID-19 added
an extra dose of required flex
ibility and tolerance.
Resistance to change and
tolerance results in rigidity. If
either partner does not have
the ability to bend the rela
tionship is likely to break, he
said. Transparency, respect,
integrity, empathy and flex
ibility are crucial aspects of
relationships that survive the
test of time. Mindfulness of
one’s self and of their partner
and of their children’s current
state of being is a sure bet. It is
important to stay grounded in
the here-and-now. It’s healthy
to understand that life will not
always be a bed of roses and to
look at challenges as opportu
nities to strengthen and learn.
Things that at first glance seem
to be a curse, often turn out to
be blessings.
“If people are to sustain
themselves, through the my
thologies and expectations of
relationships, they must always
confront the realities of the
place where they actually are,”
Kennedy said.
Kennedy offers a full range
of mental health services at
Wimberly House Ministries,
including addressing depres
sion, anxiety, parent-child
problems, academic issues,
behavioral issues, substance
abuse and couples counseling.
Lii 706.554.2111
for your t cjjjy
PUBLIC NOTICE
The Housing Authority of the City of Waynesboro,
Georgia will conduct a Public Hearing to discuss the
Annual Agency Plan as established by the Quality
Housing and Work Responsibility Act of 1998. The
purpose and goals will be explained and the Housing
Authority will receive comments from all interested
parties.
This Public Hearing will be conducted on Wednes
day, March 30, 2022 at 3:30 PM at the Housing Au
thority Office located on 570 Wallace Street in the
City of Waynesboro, Georgia. All interested persons
are invited and encouraged to attend this meeting.
The Annual Agency Plan is available for view at the
Housing Authority’s Regional Office located at 570
Wallace Street, Waynesboro,Georgia.
SENIOR RESIDENCES
The impact of teacher shortages,
absenteeism and Covid-19 on schools
LESLIE WOODS
The world of education is
always changing - the pen
dulum swings from schools
having high achievement to
low, positive morale to nega
tive, overwhelming caseloads
to manageable and on and on.
But in the last few years, and
particularly with the onset of
Covid-19, instruction and mo
rale have taken a huge hit for
a lot of schools.
In the last several years few
er people have been pursuing
jobs in education. Emma Gold
berg reported in the New York
Times in March 2021 that “the
number of education degrees
conferred by American col
leges and universities dropped
by 22 percent between 2006
and 2019, despite an overall in
crease in U.S. university gradu
ates, stoking concerns about a
future teacher shortage.” My
own district, which had 11,600
teaching applicants in 2017,
had only 5,500 in 2021.
In a survey conducted in
January by the National Educa
tion Association 55 percent of
educators are considering leav
ing the profession earlier than
intended - nearly 20 percent
higher than when surveyed in
August 2021. In October 2021
Leslie Gray Streeter wrote in
the Washington Post “One in
four American teachers report
ed considering leaving their job
by the end of the last academic
year.” A quick search for many
school district job vacancies
reveals an alarming number
of vacancies. There are three
unfilled teaching positions in
my school which serves almost
1,200 students and nearly 150
openings in the district. The
problem is real.
Meeting the needs of stu
dents under normal circum
stances is no walk in the park.
Teachers often have multiple
classes that have students with
specific learning needs - some
may need a more intense level
of direct instruction, modified
assessments or instructional
materials, reminders to stay
on task, organizational support
etc. High rates of staff absen
teeism paired with a shortage
of teachers and substitutes
makes it nearly impossible to
meet those needs.
One solution to staff ab
sences is to combine classes,
which means higher student-
teacher ratios and reduced
supervision. It’s common to
see central office staff, school
board members as well as
parents volunteering to help
prevent schools from switching
to remote learning.
Another way schools handle
this problem is for teachers to
give up their planning period
to cover classes which then
contributes to greater teacher
burnout perpetuating more
staff absenteeism. Plus, when
you have someone covering a
class who teaches a different
grade level and/or subject area,
quality of instruction plum
mets or disappears altogether.
Smaller student-teacher ratios
and access to your content-
area teacher are essential for
kids to get the highest quality
education.
Some folks are faring better
than others in this pandemic.
Damian Barr tweeted “We are
not all in the same boat. We are
all in the same storm. Some are
on super-yachts. Some have
just the one oar.” But many of
us have faced trauma in some
way or another throughout
this pandemic whether it takes
the form of illness, job-loss,
increased violence or alcohol/
drug use etc. Educators are
working through their own
mental health issues while try
ing to support children who are
experiencing more significant
mental health issues than ever
before. In May 2021 nearly
30% of parents surveyed in a
Gallup poll said their child was
“experiencing harm to [their]
emotional or mental health”,
and schools across the country
have seen an increase in stu
dent mental health issues. Doz
ens of kids in my district are in
treatment programs or therapy
and/or they have been hospi
talized for suicidal ideation,
PTSD, anxiety, depression etc.
All this to say, things are dif
ficult in education right now.
The ship must be righted, or we
can expect to continue to see
teachers leaving the held. This
is a complex problem that will
take time, sacrifice, creativity
and who knows what else to
solve,but one simple thing ev
eryone can do to make a differ
ence is to be kind, patient and
supportive of your school staff
so they will want to continue
serving your children.
A native of Waynesboro,
Leslie Woods is a graduate of
Edmund Burke Academy and
Valdosta State University. She
was recently named middle
School Counselor of the Year
for the Williamson County, Ten
nessee School District.
201 Ward Street Waynesboro, GA 30830
Certain ego and Inotvne rralric: oia apply.
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ACROSS
I) Rich, rum-soaked cakes
6) " about right"
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14) Santa Fe brick
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9th February
DOWN
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3) Blue-blanket baby
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ANSWERS ON 7