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ijflB MERCURY,
. aeoond-olM* mutter at the Sen-
‘^Wtl^toffloe, April 87, 1880.
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u»n
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M», 1,1880
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»*I DHtMi POINTS.
V'\ f *t'd into one f° n r ,/ ^mlfully.and instead of ertywding
“ Blinl. aiZiff#,II a*, .nd 5 Ini. j
a To STOOL dnrir. ,vitler a P a rt, have more ROOM
5> -a, beectna innr ,nuro u °urlhbuient from the soil,
fci^avtrnra i produce better devoloped
. , ?V"} ,or IHwitritod Pamphlet
in mv bro»Uc t ' J,A * JOM ^YILMIHGTOH, j«L
?ith»o*ir P i. Ve , l ^ Cro i' one tillV,*! " ,unt ’ “bout 11 wcp b ago, *»nd 1
jW«£j ?‘ ,U8 ' Toni uil.{ S \"T r hcat whpr « 11 WM MU" 1
♦wo of ti.* ? r<< h'rnL in i c 0 ““l measured some town, it mi
■•p'lin*."" 10 UM ‘ 8 "' °n r0 0l“AY , ?O^'“ r ' V ‘
*ltli ••ii-l., u'Vo Fanner."
>v ,'•kowln. 1 "’’ »i ''i"*™’ lvll, -'»'. wEew I drilled
7. t»» no run,," 1,1,1 tlifm n fair
111 ' t;l ' A VT0.N', j„., m, piemaut, Del.
The Country Boys.
‘ Ttiolioye arc coming homo to-morrow
I mm our rural hostess n:ii<l ■
Wlnlo Lou and 1 exchanged quick ghmeea
1 nil of mingled fear and dread.
Had wo hither como for quiet,
Hither tied tho city's noire,
lint to ohaugo it for tho riot'
Of those horrid country boys ?
Waking one with loud hallooing
Early ovor.v summer's day,
Shooting robbing, teasing kittmiM,
Frightening the wrens away,
****«».*
I wrote these lines ono happy summer;
To-day I smile to road them o'er,
Homombering how with anxious faces
Wo watched all day the opening door.
They came, " tho boys,” six feet in stature,
Graceful, easy, polishod men ;
I vowed to Lon, behind my knitting,
lo trust no mother's word again.
hor boyhood is a thing immortal,
As each fond mother will agree j
And sons aro “boys” to her forovor,
Ohango as they may to you and mo.
Now by tho window, still and sunny,
Warmed hv tho rich October glow,
Tlio dear old lady waits and watches]
Just qh bIic waited years ago.
For Lou and I aro now hor daughters—
Wo married “those two country boys,”
In spite of nil our sad forebodings
Alxmt their awkward ways and noise,
Dm springs up to moot a footfall,
I list no luoro for coming foot;
Mother and I aro waiting longer
For steps on Beulah’* golden struct.
Hut wlion sho blesses Lou's bolovxl,
And seals it with a tender kiss,
I know that loving words go upward,
Words to another world than this.
Always sho spenks in gentle fashion
About "my Ikij'm”—she always will;
Though one is gray and ono has vanished
Hoyoud tho reach of time or ill.
THE AVALANCHE.
“ Away ! away! EJy for your lives.
Tho gens-il’armos are already after yon!’
So the fugitives mounted their horses
hurriedly and fled like the wind. A
few friends stood looking after them
from tho piazza of a country villa.
About a mile away lay Milan, tho rising
sun just coloring the spires of its
churches and tho innumerable curved
pinnacles of its Duomo. All around—
far away on every side—extended the
wide plains of Lombardy. To the north
they wore bounded by lofty, inaccessible,
frozen heights—the snow-crowned, the
everlasting Alps ! The road went north,
nd tow ard those lofty mountains the
fugitives fled. There were three. There
was an aged man, in whose veins the
blood bad not yet been chilled by the
hand of time; him form was erect and
his face noble; there was a young man
of strong frame and fine, resolute coun
tenance, and between tho two rodo n
fair young girl of extreme beauty.
It is not necessary to tell tho story of
tho old Count Alonzo di Vclletri and his
laughter Laura. Sufficient it is to say
that they belonged to tho ill-fated Car
bonari, whoso plot hnd just been dis
covered. The old man and Iuh daughter
wore denounced, together with many
others, among whom was young Henri,
Count di Santana. But Milan wns not
far from tho mountains, tho road was
open—Switzerland wns the land of the
free!
Behind them no pursuers wore visiblo
to thorn, but thoy well know they were
followed. Two hours after they had left
tho villa a company of gens-d’nrmes sped
from Milan in pursuit of them. Tho
villagers stared at tho gentlemen and
the fair young girl who rodo.so furi
ously; but there were none who inter
fered.
“ They ride for a sick friend,” said
some.
“ They fly from death,” said others.
The geus-d’armes followed closely be
hind, and at every village asked after tho
fugitives. At every station they changed
their horses for fresh ones, who kept up
an undiminished speed. True, their
horses wore but of tho common breed,
and tho steeds of the count were noble
Arabians, but tho constant freshness of
the pursuers would prove more than a
match for the over-ridden horses of the
count, even though they were of the
purest blood.
They had ridden for hours in silence
and without rest. Tho last look which
they took behind them showed at a
glance many miles of the road, but no
pursuers.
“ Laura,” said the young Count di
Santana, “are you not almost wearied
to death ? ”
“ Oh, no. I can ride for many hours
more,ӣsaid thoyoung girl, courageously.
“I wish we could turn into these
fiolds on either side,” said the old count,
“ for Laura’s sake. Site must be very
weary.”
“ But wo cannot,” said Santana.
“ Wo cannot. Theso wide, level plains
would discover us at once to our puvsu-
crs. There is no chance for us but
straight forward.”
“ Yes, yes. The Alps,” saicl Santana.
“ Yes, the Alps,” said all.
On and on fled tho noble steeds, still
bearing bravely up, although destitute
of rest for many hours.
“ Our horses are not tired yet, said
the old count. “Thoy are good for
many a mile.”
But still lie looked anxiously behind
. him.
“Alas!” said Laura, “our pursuers,
who cannot be far away, will have fresh
horses constantly. Ours must fail at
| last,”
“ But if wo only can bo carried to tho
Alps, all will be well,”
“ God grant we may got there!” ex-
1 claimed thdgirl.
I “ Yes, dear Laura,” said her father,
; “ on ce among the mountains and wo are
| safe; for we can turn aside in a thousand
wavs, and elude discovery as well as
j pursuit.”
j “ Ah!” cried Santana, at the lapse of
j another hour, “ sec—far ahead—see,
! somethiug sparkles and glitters!"
“Lago Maggioret" cried the old
j count, in delight.
“Is it tho lake! Oh, joy; we aro
i near it, then!”
j There before them, but yet many
miles away, lay tho lake, its waters
sparkling and glistening in the rays of
tho warm mid-day sun. Boyond lay tho
mountains, much nearer than at morn
ing, for very many of tho miles that lay
between Milan and the lofty Alps had
been passed ovor by tho noble steeds.
But thoy now began to show signs of
weariness. They had gono far; they had
| ridden fast. Foam covered their mouths,
and their skins were reeking with sweat.
Their pace was much loss light and
I active than at first. They labored more
heavily; yet still they went at a rapid
rate, and there were no pursuers visible.
Two hours more and the wearied travel
ers wore riding along tho shores of Lake
Maggiorc. Already tho level plains
were far behind them, and hills arose on
tho borders of the lake. They galloped
wildly through the streets of Aruzzc;
thoy rushed past tho shore where the
Isolr. jViadre and Isola Bella rise from
the transparent wave; they reach a ris- j
| ing ground.
j Santana was the first to look around. ]
] Ono glance drove the blood to his heart. !
He turned pale as death. Tho others j
glanced immediately afterward. They |
; saw all. Their pursuers were visible, i
! They were but four miles behind. In
the first moment of discovery not a word !
was spoken. They looked at one an- I
other in silent consternation. Yes, thcro
behind them their pursuers followed :
swiftly and closely. Armed, numerous,
unwearied, they .were close upon the
track of their ffioble, unarmed and tired
; victims. With a simultaneous impulse
they urged their wearied horses onward
I at a faster pace. Tho Alps were not
now far away. There they arose, their
snowy crests ascending higher and
higher tho farther back they ran, until
they seemed to mingle with tho white
■ clouds of tho overhanging sky.
“Alas!” cried the old man, “if wo
j could but get there ! ”
i On they went, hopefully, though de
spairing. Thonged Vclletri looked at
I his daughter with an aching heart. San
tana, too, easting many a fevered glance
behind him, seemed forever counting
tho chaneos of escape.
It was late in the afternoon, and tho
sun wns near tho end- of his course,
when they went on among the moun-
■ tains. The road went more steeply than
i before—the horses grow more slow and
: uncertain in their pace. Hark 1 at n
| turn in the road, apparently but a short
i distance behind them, what a thunder
| tramp of rushing horsemen ! It is the
1 sound of their pursuers.
“ The frontier is yet four miles
I away!” cried Santana, with a look of
agonizing suspense. “ They will ho up
: to us beforo three. Wo are unarmed.
Oh, if I had but a gun—but one pistol—
I should at least liavo a struggle for my
life!”
“ Wo have no chance whatever of re
sisting!” caied Velletri, whipping up
I his horse. .
“No use—no use!” said Santana.
“ My horse cannot do it.”
His horse staggered. He lashed the
poor beast furiously. Useless; tho
| horse had nobly done his duty; still
true to his master, be struggled to obey
and go forward, but only to fail. He
fell headlong to the earth and lay mo
tionless. Santana leaped from him.
Velletri groaned.
“ We are lost!” cried Santana. “Fly,
fly, Valletri! Ely, Laura! I will keep
them back for a time. Uso well what
time is left. You may yet escape.”
“No, no; let me stay—me. They
will not, cannot harm mo! I am inno
cent, Take my horse and fly. I will
wait,” cried Laura,
“ No, children !” cried Velletri, inter
rupting them; “you-speak thought
lessly. Wo can fly no further. We
must leave our horses. Let us climb
tho mountains. See—look up yonder ;
we can find refuge there.”
He pointed to a steep declivity, on tho
summit of which there was a projecting
crag. It lay five hundred feet abovo them.
Instantly ho leaped from his horse, and
Laura, too, dismounted. Then, as
though the time was too precious for
words, he led the way, leaving Santana
to assist his daughter. Then tho fugi
tives began their toilsome ascent.
Tho way lay through deep and thaw
ing snow. It was the month of March
and all the snow was rapidly melting.
All around, amid the solemn silence,
they heard the solemn sound of falling The Nan ol Glass,
avalanches. Trembling at the fearful A very extraordinary existence was
noises which boded no good to them, j brought to a close n few days ago by tho
they hurried onward. They ascended \ death of a man who was known ns tho
two hundred feet, and then reached the | “ man of glass.” The records of tho
foot of the declivity which they had no-! asylum at Bicetre, where the man died,
tieod. There was a wall of rook rising j show that as long ago as in 1707, when
precipitously for nearly a liundrod feet, j he was eighteen years old, a certain
Jubissicr was brought to the hospital
and then tho steep declivity went bade
at an angle of forty-ftvo degrees for
three hundred foot more, Here the
snou r lay, n tremendous, accumulated
mass, full forty feet in depth. Its
white fuco shone terribly upon them as
they walked underneath and saw the
wator trickling in innumerable torrents,
and tho vast mass abont to fall upon
them. It seemed as though tho touch
of a child’s hand might send the wliolo
down in resistless fury.
“ Haste—haste ! Oh, what a fearful
journey. Here lies our only pathway
through I ” cried Velletri.
There was no answer as they nil
pressed forward moro quickly. It took
not long to pass beyond tho shelving
rock. Then they turned upward to
reach tho top of the declivity. Tho
snow was vory deep where they walked.
In some places rack* projected, afford
ing a foothold, in others thero wore
deep interstices. On tho right lay tho
smooth expanse of snow which covered
the declivity. They ascended quickly,
and soon Laura's limbs failed her. The
long ride had . weakened her; she
trembled and sunk, after a vain attempt
to go forward.
Not a word was spoken. Their ex
citement wns too strong—their feeling
too deep. Velletri turned with an ago
nizing look as his daughter fell, but
Santana raised her iu his arms ami rush
ed up with fitful exertions the remain
Buffering from mental aliouatiou of a
severe kind. His malady had been
caused by a wound inflicted by
a pane of glass, which foil on his bond;
and beforo the out could be healed,
the brain beeumo uffocted by a
permanent disease. The sufle^er lapsed
into idiocy, and then into madness of n
moro violent kind; and lie was shortly
afterward shut up in the asylum, where
ho has remained over since. After tho
first transports of delirium hod passed
off tho man became moro calm, but he
never got rid of the idea that ho was
made of glass, and that the least shock
or blow would eauso him to break in
pieces. Ho rowained, thorofore, per
fectly quiet and silent, being afraid oven
to speak, for fear of precipitating the
catustrophe which ho fancied was evor
impending. For. eighty-three years he
has led this singular existence, only
once opening his lips in speech, when
ho asked for a littlo tobacco. At
ono other "period his intellectual and
physical faculties appeared to be
aroused, and that was when, during the
siogo of Paris, ho could hear tho shells
bursting in the nir at no great distance
from his place of retreat. At this timo
ho was seen to grow nervous and less
lethargic, and to walk about restlosly
humming some words which had no in
telligible sequence or meaning. Ho sur
vived, however, and, relapsing into his
der of their way. They reached the i usual condition, hns so lived until the j
summit. Panting, and almost fainting j ago of 103, testifying, in a somowhut
with tho dreadful toil of tho ascent, j striking way, to tho effects of a totally
they turned with a common impulse to ; placid ami inactive tranquillity both of
look down. body and mind in prolonging life. No
“Lost, lost!” ’ little credit is, however, due to tho an-.
A choking sensation came to each, thorities of Bicetre for having thus pre-
Tltey had not seen nor heard their pur- j served for eighty-three years an exist-
suers, in the excitement of tho ascent, j cnee which from the first wns
but their pursuers hiul hocii them. They j utterly useless and uninteresting.—
had quietly dismounted and lmd reach-1 London Globe.
ed tho foot of the mountain. Thev 11 —
wore following their tracks. They saw
how little hope was left.
“Almighty God!” cried Vclletri,
raising his eyes to heaven, “ Protector
of the innocent, help us, for wo can no
longer help ourselves 1 ”
And lo 1 even as though in answer to
the solemn praybr, they saw tho vast
mass of snow slowly tremble. A liglit-
Existing Orders of Chivalry.
The orders of chivalry at present in ex
istence number no fewer than 155, ex
clusive of service medals and war dec
orations, such as the Victoria and Iron
crosses. Of all European sovereigns,
the kings of Spain and Prussia are the
most copiously provided with the
means of distinguishing those whom
ning thought darted to the mind of j they may delight to honor; for the for-
oach. The thunder of falling avalanches ! , ner wvn diaposo of thirteen and the
sounded all around. The vibrations of j lftttm . twelve orders of knighthood,
their fall hnd loosened this. It seemed j France possesses only ono such order
suspended but by a thread. Even as j —the German empire none. The most
tho children of Israel looked back upon ; ft i 1( .j 0 nt existing order is that of St.
the puisuing Egyptians, so now did the | Am1rcW) or the Thistle, founded in tho
fugitives look back upon their foes.
And they again cried unto tho Lord.
Even as thoy cried again their foes wore
visiblo. They came on quickly. They
were at tho path which went under the
declivity. They looked up and saw
their prey.
“ Ha, ha ! Ecco la !” cried all.
They rushed on. Aiming their guns
at their cowering victims, they tired a
thundering volley. The echoes spread
far and wide. Tho soldiers rushed un
der tho declivity; and the three fugitives
held their breath in awe—in horror.
For the echoes of that discharge or its
strong vibrations had shaken the treach
erous snow. It trembled—it moved all
in a mass ! Oh, Heavens, all in a mass.
Millions upon millions of tons, it moved
onward—downward 1
year 787, and the most modern is tho
Takovo of Servia, the foundatory
statues of which bear ditto the iifteeuth
of February, 1878, Among the 155 or
ders are ten exclusively bestowed upon
members of the fair sex. Bix orders of
chivalry derive their names from ani
mals, only one of which, the dragon, is
a heraldic and imaginary beast. The
remainder, for the most part, commem
orate the fame of patron saints or pop
ular princes, only a few—conspicuous
among which are the British Garter, the
Austrian Fleece, the Saxon Coronal of
Rue, the Swedish Sword, and ono or
two others—owe their titles to more or
less curious historical incidents.
Charlie Ross.
The father of Charlie Ross says that
Hark! a hollow sound, then a deeper
report, then a'rush as of an army; and ! tho last spark of hope has gono out, and
then, with a long, loud, deafening roar ho mourns the lost ono as dead. Ho
a roar liko loudest thunder, the whole • says: “ I have always believed that my
mass descended with irresistible fury j Charlie, although only four years and
downward, sheer downward, upon the j Uvo months old at the time lie was taken,
heads of the doomed wretches beneath: , would remember his brother Walter,
And as the echoes rolled around amid j "'ho was taken away with him, and had
the Alpine eaves, there was mingled with i U I H0 thought that lie would even have
the thunder and roar of tho avalanche, ! ft distinct recollection of the feeling of
the smothered shrieks of the over- j lo neliness that he must have experienced
whelmed pursuers.
All was over. The rescued ones sang
a song of triumph and of gratitude.
Their pursuers’ horses were on tho road,
and these soon carried them over the
frontiers to liberty and happiness.
The Chinese Barbers.
The Chinese mode of wealing tho
hair makes the flowery land the para
disc of barbers, and the Chinese barber
has not bis counterpart the world-over.
From dawn he is in the streets carrying
on his shoulders at either end of a long
bamboo, adorned with an effigy of a
chimerical creature, the paraphernalia of
his craft. Eagerly on the look-out for
any one whose poll is not perfectly
shaven, as soon as he detects such an
ono he has him in a trice installed on a
stool beneath a largo parasol fixed in tho
ground. In the twinkling of an eye Ah
is ready, and the skull under his man
ipulation soon becomes as smooth as
ivory. This done he passes on to the
pigtail, which ho brushes, perfumes and
dresses with great care.
The passions of men of society differ
as much from the passions of the natural
man as the fruits of a grafted tree from
those of a wild one,
when lie found he was in the hands of
strangers and separated from his pa
rents.” On another recent occasion,
Mr. Ross said: “ The only tidings I have
ever received of Charlie sinco he was
stolen, was the demand for a ransom of
#20,000. If I had paid that, I would
have had him long beforo this. As it
is, I have spent #00,000, and have not
got him.”
Worked Both Ways.
“ I have a bill began a man, as
he stood in the door of an office on
Lamed street yesterday and looked over
his file—“I have a little bill which ”
“ Leave it with me and I’ll collect it
if I have to follow the debtor a straight
year,” interrupted the lawyer.
“ Yes—here it is—bill for #10. It is
a bill against you.”
“Against me! Ah! that alters the
case. You must give me a year to pay
it in. Good-day, sir!”—Detroit. Free
Press.
A rattlesnake which was caught some
six months ago in a harvest field fifteen
miles south of Chatham, Out., is still on
exhibition in a local drug store. It lias
eaten nothing for five months, but
seems fat and healthy,
WONAN'S C0LUNN.
\ IJenlul It crept I mi.
Evening receptions, for some inseru-
j tablo reason, ore iTevor vory popular in
I New York society. Thero is an nnoer-
j tainty about the success of these enter
tainments which is in tho end wearing
I to the hostess. A gentleman oneo bid-
i den to a series of evening receptions
j found himself tho first to arrive in the
gentlemen’s dressing-room on tho occa
sion of tho initial soiree. Lingering
awhile for other guests to appear, he
heard a stealthy trend at tho door, and
to his infinite amazement saw the host
peering cautiously into the room. “Is
it you, my dear fellow?” asked his
friend, in n tone of relief. “ Wo feared
that it might bo a burglar I” This was
not precisely tho looked-for greeting, or
one calculated to put i\ guest at his
ease.—Few York Hour.
How lo Make t'ollon llrcsacn.
Some of the prettiest have a Jevsey-
slmpod waist, with low pointed throat,
worn with a muslin ttohu. The open
sIoovoh are turned up in monk’s sleeve
style, Vicing caught permanently on the
inside seam nearly as high as the elbow.
Tho long overskirt, with wrinkled
apron pointed deeply on tho left, and
quite bouffant behind is sowed abovo tho
edge of tho waist, concealing it, and
giving the effect of an entire overdress.
Tho part of the lower skirt visible
on tlm right side is covered with
many small flounces. Another figured
muslin dress has « full round
waist, worn with u narrow belts j
and elbow sleeves edged with
two rutflos. Tho long overskirt I
has a box-pliatoil effect iu front, with j
points on each side, and is worn over a i
plaited skirt that lias no flounces. An- !
other pretty dress retains tho pelerine, ;
or round capo worn with winter dresses, i
This barely covers the shoulders, reach- j
ing over the top of tbe armholes, and is j
edgod with a striped border. The daisy I
border is popular on dark percales, and '
is used to trim narrow flounces and to |
border the deep-pointed apron or over
skirt. A soft sash of those cottons is ;
worn around the waist, pointed in tho
front, and tied on tho left side, with the
short wide ends cut off diagonally and ,
bordered.—J {upper's Bcuw.
I-'iimIi Ion Pane lex.
Mulberries aro in great demand for !
mourning bonnets.
Dueliosse de Berry hats of black vel- I
vet and jot are very stylish.
Crushed roses of pink and crimson ,
will be worn upon spring hats.
Tho most fashionable rings are of
hammered gold, made iu pliable strips,
and wound around tho finger.
The monastic stylo ol' dress is much :
in vogue, It is an exact copy of the :
Trinitarian garb, except tho Maltese \
cross and headdress.
Largo box plaits alternating with j
clusters of knife-plaits are sometimes
used for flounces and clusters of knife-
plaits alternating with squares of bro
cade aro considered in good taste.
Although white is tho fashionable :
color for evening a dress of plain white |
silk marks its wearer as a person \
ignorant of style. At least two materials :
must bo combined in eacli costume.
Fashion decrees that little boys shall!
remain in knickerbockers as long as pos-,
siblo, that is to say, until they break out
in open rebellion, and protest that they I
will not go into the street again until :
they have long trousers.
A Worth walking suit recently import
ed for a young bride has the skirt in :
blue and tiger-tinted plushes. The fac
ing of the rovers, sash drapery and
sleeves of the basque are formed of blue
satin. A wide cut jet fringe adorns the j
tablier; pure gold blue enameled but-
tons are used. Tlio entire cost of this
rich costume was #135.
NOTICE.
• AU BtaWBiinrttan intended lor tkto
paper moat bn accompanied with Urn foil
name ol the writer, not neoenenrily lot pohH*
cation, bat a* a ana ran toe of Rood laith.
We are in ne way reaponaMe tor the view*
•r opinion* d eewe*pendente.
Lite’s Quiet Way.
1 clip high-climbing thoughts,
The wings of swelling pride;
Their fiito is worst that from - the height
Of greater honor slide.
Milk sails of largest size
The storm doth soonest tear;
1 lieu so low mid small a sail
As frooth me from fear.
I wrestle not with rftgo
While fury’s flame doth bum ;
II is in vain to stop tho stream
I'ntil the tide doth torn.
Hut when tlio (lamo is out,
And ebbing wrath dotli oml,
I tnm a late enraged foe
Into a quiet friend.
And, taught with often proof,
A tempered calm I And
To be most solace to itself.
Host cure for angry mind.
■Soutlaeelt.
Words ot Wisdom.
The body of man oppressed by excess |
bears down the mind and depresses to j
the earth any portion of the divine spirit i
wo have been endowed with.
How independent of money peace of
conscience is, and how much happiness
can be condensed in the humblest home.
The beam of the benevolent eye
givetli value to tho bounty which tho i
hand disperses.
When mankind estimate the value of
truth by dollars and 'cents it would be !
good policy to drown t the world again.
A wise man never triflos with nature’s !
laws or gets in their way, but tbe uii- {
wise do, and their life pays the penalty
of their folly.
Give expression to every noble and !
generous thought. They will vibrate
down through the centuries when we
aro dust and ashes.
A tender conscience is an estimable
blessing; that is, a conscience not only
quick to discern what is evil, but
instantly to slain it, as the eyelid closes
itsolf against the mote.
Those who speak always and those
who never speak aro equally unfit for
for friendship. A good proportion, of
the talont of listening and speaking is
the base of social virtues,
FUN.
A correspondent ftslts us wlmt is tho
relation of a university to an ordii,^
college. It is a step farther.—Boston
Transcript.
Josh Billiugs says that a good doctor
is a gentleman to whom we may pay #3
a visit for advising 11s to eat less and
oxeroiso moro.
“ Tho crash has come at last,” iib the
dry goods dealer said when the bale of
toweling was dumped at his door.—
Somerville Journal.
They had women doctors in Egypt
over 3,000 years ago. Who knows but
the obelisk may bo a petrified M. D.—
Few Yitrlc Commercial.
The almanac crop was twenty per
cent, abovo tho average, this year, and
Home of them give directions to regu-
lato your liver in nine languages.
When a man comes from Michigan,
they call him a Michigander. When a
lady comes from tho same State, who is
there that would dare to call her a
Miehi-goose ?— Waterloo Observer.
An exchange says : “ A um» died in
Kentucky last week, aged ninety, who
never saw a locomotive or entered a
steamboat.” This may, in a measure,
account for his long life.—Picayune.
Some men say they don’t pay any at
tention to what thoy read in newspa
pers, and yot if you should see the wife
of one of them chasing him over the
back fenoo with a retired broom, some
day, and put it in tho paper, he’d como
around pretty quick to know if you had
any business to meddle with bis homo
recreation. -Middletown Transcript.
We have received a copy of the Con-
ijressional Record, a paper published in
Washington, which is evidently a para
graphic shoot, but we lmve failed to flnff
anything funny in it. As an evidence
of this, “laughter” is written in various
places iu parentheses, to inform its
realtors whore they should smile. W«
don’t believe in any such “ funny busi
ness,” and we must beg tho Record to
excuse us from exchanging with it.
Why doesn’t it add a calendar, and como
out as a comic almanac?—Steubenville
Herald,
“Aro you fond of flowers ?” she in
quired. “Vory much so,” ho replied.
“ What aro your favorite flowers ?” she
further inquired. “ Tulips,” he an
swered, as his eyeSjdwelt admiringly
upon the twin chomes Thnt woro parted
in a ravishing smile, displaying “ teeth
like ivory dipped in milk,” as Joe Brad
ford says. Thero was a pause. A warm
blush suffused her volvot cheek; the lily
lids dropped, half concealing tlio starry
eyes, and bIio murmured: “ If you were
to ask mo which is my favorite ship, I
should say a smack 1” Let us draw the
curtain.—Somerville Journal.
A Wonderful Record of Change.
The changes which Fetor Cooper has
witnessed include tho entire series of
the national Presidents. AVluit a majes
tic array of national dignitaries! He
was born when Washington was in his
first term, the presidential office being
tbe old City Hall iu Wall street. Ho
was six years old when Washington re
tired at the close of the second term,
and he was eight when the old hero
died. He was thirteen when Burr killed
Hamilton, and is said to be the only per
son who can remember the latter. He
was seventeen when Fulton made his
first trip up tho Hudson in the Cler
mont. The Erie canal was one
of the * projects discussed when he
reached manhood, though the war
with Great Britain delayed it for ten
years. His first vote was cast for Madi
son, and he has been a regular voter
ever since—a period of sixty-eight
years. He was thirty-five when the first
railway iu America was projected, and
lie built the first locomotive of Ameri
can manufacture. His wholo life has
been identified with public improve
ment, and he has been u leader in the ad
vance of the age, having witnessed a
grander march of progress than any
other man in tho entire annals of the
human race. Probably tho most won
derful of all those improvements is the
telegraph, which will always bo one of
the marvels of science. The next is the
progress of journalism.—New York
Letter.
Pennsylvania has 10,000 more female# ^
than males.