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Three Men and a Maid
p g. wodehouse
„ h£R ENGAGEMENT.!’'
Hienett. world
r? - H ° ter on theosophy, au;
ftmou* wr el rea ding Light.
thor ° f .wives‘in New York on
etc., etc., air ® Eus taco, hor
a l®* tur ‘"? her Windles, ances
tan. is with her. tts _ ls his.
tral home “f y devote and to
<o her life Is lar ®® y ied . Enter
‘iteeplns Mm ot slr Mai
ner nephew, bam. t Lon
laby Mar owe the e ■ that
don lawyer. K shall sa il to
""lYh Atlantic the next
gather on in- Mortimer,
day. Enter fr iend of an
American, son a . can name d
insufferable An n peste ring
Bennett, who ha o Windles.
Mrs Hignett to w „.
Bream la * or ®* j® wa iting for
helmlna Bennett 1 churc h
o“ sta , ce a Corner Bream hlm-
Rounl the Corn . wnhe i m tna.
heading for the g ‘ lrl> W uh
a glorious, red- _ g )n j ovei
whom he instantly him Eus
though her dog bites b him.
' aCe rs PPe tha 3 t his mother had
Ff’tte-r^rny,"whereupon
]-^, a rd declared the wed;
Sd hn, a desperate struggle
tI P water with another swim
mer and rejoins the Atiantic a
quarantine. The red-headed girl
is Wilheimina Bennett— Billie.
SHc hails Sam as a hero and
(reduces Bream. Eustace a poor
cailor. keeps to his berth.
doesn't know Billie is on board
Sam makes warm love He pro
poses nnd is accepted. Sam plans
io suitr in the ship’s concert and
forces Eustace to promise to he
his accompanist. Sam blacks up
and is made ridiculous. Eustace
i, consoled by Jane Hubbard,
Wend of Billie. Sam and Billie
auarrel. Billie breaks their en
gagement. Sam. after landing
goes into mourning.
CHAPTER Vlll—Continued.
—lo—
said what?” asked Sam.
“I said, ‘lda!’ ’’
“Why?"
“Because I had an idea. Don’t in
terrupt, old man, or you'll get rue mud
dled. Where was I?”
“1 don’t know."
“I remember. I’d just got the idea.
I happened to know, you see, that Ben
nett and Mortimer were both fright
fully keen on getting Windles for the
summer, but my mother wouldn’t hear
of It and gave them both the miss-in
balk. It suddenly occurred to me that
mother was going to be away In Amer
ica all the summer, so why shouldn’t I
make a private deal, let them the
house, and make it a stipulation that I
was to stay there to look after things?
And, to cut u long story short, that’s
what I did.”
“You let Windles?”
“Yes. Old Bennett was down on the
dock at Southampton to' meet Wllhel
oina, and I fixed it up with him then
and there. He was so bucked at the
Men of getting the place that he didn't
kick for a moment at the suggestion
that I should stick at the house. Said
would he delighted to have me there,
am! wrote out a fat check on the spot.
We hired a car and drove straight over
“its only twenty miles from South
ampton, you know —and we’ve been
there evor since. Bennett sent a wire
b Mortimer, telling him to join us,
and lie came down next day.”
He paused, and looked at Sam as
ttou ? h comment. Sam had
tone to offer.
"jiy do you say you're in a hole?”
asked, “it seems to me as though
P O .“ ad ,lone yourself a bit of good.
louvo got the check, und you’re in the
llouse with Miss Hubbard.' What
“tore do you want?”
, s “ ppoße “other gets to hear
“Well?”
w Je'd he sorer than a sunburned
o f Jrobably. But why should she hear
!f h ; r m coming to that.”'
‘ S , ere sonie more of the storyr
Wte a lot.”
fcS /' sa,(l Snm > resignedly.
&7P on i , snett flxed a despondent
travps .. o' 6 Shll ‘ s,e ’ ~p which the gray
,!u;~L crawlin S with their usual
tei-here" a W i ßhin * th emselves
Uct nf , A nhl drop fe " down the
It ‘-s neck, hut he dkl not' notice
el It.” he g!® weather that really start
started what?”
v 'hat sort of weather
- 1 been having here?”
l h * ven * noticed.”
Win(J,es !t has been
tfter about q ' y 01 the tirae * * ncl
fsirlv ru‘ :l cc ;p ' e of days It became
hortinier , :no that Renne tt and
-a t r e , settin * Wt fed. I
having spent all their
rained a ; a co, tntry where It
ni, ' rne ' and Pretty soon It
r.-tetj Uieir ne,y es. They
hotll *• Xothlng bad at
“ o,tln S U P more and more, tIU
at last they were hardly on speaking
terms. Every little thing that hap
pened seemed to get the wind up them.
There was that business of Smith, for
instance.”
‘‘Who’s Smith?"
“Mortimer's bulldog. Old Bennett is
scared of him, and wants him kept in
the stables, but Mortimer insists on let
ting him roam about the house. Well,
they scrapped a goodish bit about
that. And then there was the orches
trion. You remember the orchestrion?"
“I haven’t been down at Windles
since I was a kid."
“That’s right. I forgot that. Well,
my pater had an orchestrion put In the
drawing room. One of these automatic
things you switch on, you know. Makes
a devil of a row. Bennett can't stand
It, and Mortimer insists on playing it
all day. Well, they hotted up a good
ish bit over that."
“Well, I don’t see how all this affects
you. If they want to scrap, why not let
them?”
“Yes, but, you see, the most frightful
thing has happened. At least, it hasn’t
happened yet, but it may any day.
Bennett’s talking about taking legnl
advloe to see if he can’t induce Morti
mer to cheese it by law, as he can’t be
stopped any other way. And the deuce
of it is, your father is Bennett’s legal
representative over in England, and
he’s sure to go to him."
“Well, that’ll do the pater a bit of
good. Legal fees."
Eustace Hignett waved his arms de
spairingly at his cousin’s obtuseness.
“But, don’t you see? If Bennett goes
to your father about this binge, your
father will get onto the fact that Win
dles has been let, and he'll nose about,
and make Inquiries, and the first thing
that’ll happen will be that mother will
get to hear of it, and then where shall
I be?”
Sam pondered.
“Yes. there’s that," he admitted.
“Well, now you see what a hole I’m
in.”
“Yes, you are. What are you going
to do about It?”
“You’re the only person who can
help me.”
"What can 1 do?”
“Why, your father wants you to join
the firm, doesn’t he? Well, for goodness’
sake, buck up and join it. Don’t waste
a minute. Dash up to London by the
next train, and sign on. Then, if Ben
nett does blow in for advice, you can
fix it somehow that he sees you instead
of your father, and it’ll be all right.
You can easily work it. Get the office
boy or somebody to tell Bennett that
your father’s engaged, but that you are
on the spot. He won’t mind so long as
he sees somebody in the firm."
“But I don’t know anything about
the law. What shall I say to him?"
“That’s all right. I’ve been studying
it up a bit. As far as I can gather, this
legal advice business is quite simple.
Anything that isn’t a tort is a misde
meanor. You’ve simply got to tell old
Bennett that, in your opinion, the whole
thing looks jolly like a tort.”
“What’s the word again?”
“Tort.”
“What does it mean?”
“I don’t know. Probably nobody
knows. But It’s a safe card to play.
Tort. Don’t forget It.”
“Tort. Right ho!"
“Well, then, come along and pack
your things. There’s a train to London
in about an hour.”
They walked back to the hotel Sam
gulped once or twice.
“Oh, by the way,” he said. “Er—how
is—or —Miss Bennett?”
“Oh, she’s all right." Eustace Hlg
nett hummed a gay air. Sam’s ready
acquiescence in his scheme had re
lieved his apprehensive mind.
“Going strong?” said Sam, after a
pause.
“Oh, absolutely. We’re quite good
friends again now. No use being In
the same house and not being on
speaking terms. It’s rummy how the
passage of time sort of changes a fel
low’s point of view. Why, when she
told me about her engagement, I con
gratulated her as cheerfully as dam
mit ! And only a few weeks ago . .
“Her engagement!” exclaimed Sam,
leaping like a stricken hlanc-mauge.
“Her en-gug-gng gagement!”
“To Bream Mortimer, you know, ’
said Eustace Hignett. “She got en
gaged to him the day before yester
day.”
CHAPTER IX
The offices of the old-established firm
of Marlowe, Thorpe, Prescott, Winslow
and Applebv are in Ridgeway s Inn, not
far from Fleet street. If you are a
millionaire beset by blackmailers or
anyone else to whose comfort the best
legal advice is essential, und have de
cided to put your affairs In the hands
of the ablest and discreetest firm In
London, you proceed through a dark
and grimy entry and up a dark and
grimy flight of stairs; and, haying felt
your way along a dark and grimy pas
sage, you come at length to a dark and
grimy door. There is plenty of dir
in other parts of Ridgeway’s Inn but
nowhere is it so plentiful, so rich in ah
lluvial deposits, as on the exterior of
THE OAMELSVtLLE MONITOR, DANIELSVILLE. GEORGIA
the offices of Marlowe, Thorpe, Pres
cott, Winslow and Appleby. As you tap
on the topmost of the geological strata
concealing the ground-glass of the door,
a sense of relief and security Hoods
your being. For In London grubbiness
is the gauge of a lawyer’s respectabil
ity.
The brass plate, let Into the wood
work of this door, Is misleading. Read
ing It, you get the Impression that on
the other side quite a covey of lawyers
await your arrival. The name of the
firm leads you to suppose that there
will be barely standing room in the of
fice. You picture Thorpe jostling you
aside as he makes for Prescott to dis
cuss with him the latest case of de
murrer, nnd Winslow and Appleby
treading on your toes, deep In conver
sation on replevin. But these legal
firms dwindle. The years go by nnd
take their toll, snatching away here a
Prescott, there an Appleby, till before
you know where you are, you are
down to your last lawyer. The only
surviving member of the firm of Mar
lowe, Thorpe—what I said before —
was, at the time with which this story
deals. Sir Mallnby Marlowe, son of the
original founder of the firm and father
of the celebrated black-faced comedian,
Samuel of that Ilk; and the outer of
fice, where callers were received and
parked till Sir Mallaby could find time
for them, was occupied by a single
clerk. i
When Sam, reaching the office after
his journey, opened the door, this clerk.
John Peters by name, was seated on a
high stool, holding in one hand a half
eaten sausage, in tho other an extraor
dinarily large and powerful revolver. At
the sight of Sam lie laid down both en
gines of destruction and beamed. He
was not a particularly successful
beamer, being hampered by a cast in
eye which gave him a truculent
and sinister look; but those who knew
him knew that he had a heart of gold
and were not intimidated by his repel
lent face. Betweeen Soun and himself
there had always existed terms of
cordiality, starting from the time when
the former was n small boy, and It had
been John Peters’ mission to take him
now to the Zoo, now to the train back
to school.
“Why, Mr. Samuel 1"
“Hullo, Peters!”
“We were expecting you bnck a week
ago. So you got back safe?"
“Safe? Why, of course.”
Peters shook his head.
“I conefss that, when there was this
delay in your coming here, I sometimes
feared something might have happened
to you. 1 recall mentioning it to the
young lady who recently did me the
honor to promise to become my wife."
“Ocean liners aren’t often wrecked
nowadays.”
“I was thinking more of the brawls
on shore. America’s a dangerous coun
try. But perhaps you were not in touch
with the underworld?”
“I don’t think 1 was."
“Ah 1” said John Peters, significant-
ly.
He took up the revolver, gave it a
fond and almost paternal look, and
replaced it on the desk.
“Wliat on earth are you doing with
that thing?” asked Sam.
Mr. Peters lowered his voice.
“I’m going to America myself In a
few days’ time, Mr. Samuel. It’s my
annual holiday, and the guvnor’s send
ing me over with papers in connection
with The People v. Schultz and Bowen,
It’s a big case over there. A client f
ours Is mixed up in It. an American
gentleman. I am to take these Impor
tant papers to his legal representative
in New York. So I thought it best to
be prepared.”
The first smile that he had permitted
himself in nearly two weeks flitted
across Satn’s face.
“Wliat on earth sort of a place do
you think New York is?” he asked. “It’s
safer than London.”
“Ah, but what about the underworld?
I’ve seen these American films that
they send over here, Mr. Samuel. Every
Saturday night regular I take my young
lady to a cinema, and, I tell you, they
tench you something. Did you ever see
‘Wolves of the Bowery’? There was a
man in that in just my position, curry
ing important papers, and what they
didn’t try to do to him! No, I’m taking
no chances, Mr. Samuel!”
“I should have said you were, lug-
ging that thing about with you.”
Mr. Peters seemed wounded.
“Oh, I understand the mechanism
perfectly, anil I am becoming a very
fair shot. I take my little bite of food
In here early and go and practice at
the Rupert street rifle range during my
lunch hour. You’d he surprised how
quickly one picks It up. When 1 get
home at night I try how quick I can
draw. You have to draw like a flash of
lightning, Mr. Samuel. If you’d ever
seen a film called Two-Gun Thomas
y ou’d realize that. You haven’t time to
he loitering about.”
“I haven’t,” agreed Sam. “Is my fa
ther in? I’d like to see him If he’s not
busy.”
Mr Peters, recalled to his profession
al duties. shed his sinister front like a
garment. He picked up a speaking
tube and blew down it.
"Mr Samuel to see you, Mr. Mallaby.
Yes, sir, very good. Will you go right
in, Mr. Samuel?”
g„tn proceeded to the Inner office,
ni'd found his father dictating into the
i attentive ear of Miss Milliken, bis el
derly and respectable stenographer, re
plies to Ills morning mall.
The grime which incrusted the law
yer’s professional stamping ground did
not extend to his person. Sir Mallaby
Marlowe was a dapper little man. with
a round, cheerful face and a bright
eye. Ills morning coat had been cut by
London's best tuilor, and his trousers
perfectly creased by a sedulous valet.
A pink carnation In his buttonhole
matched his healthy complexion. His
golf handicap was twelve. His 3lster,
Mrs. Horace Hignett, considered him
worldly.
"Good morning, father.”
“Very glad to see you’re back, Sam.
So you didn't win?"
“N’o, I got beaten in the semi-finals.”
“American amateurs are a very hot
lot: the best ones. I suppose you were
weak on the greens. 1 warned you
about that.
“Yes, life Is real, life ls earnest,” he
said, gazing at Sam seriously, “und the
grave is not our goal. Lives of great
meu all remind us we can make our
lives sublime. In fact, It's time you
took off your coat and started to work."
“1 am quite ready, father.”
“You didn’t hear what I said," ex
claimed Sir Mallaby with a look of sur
prise. “I said it was time you began
work.”
"And I old I was quite ready."
“Bless my soul! You’ve changed your
views a trifle since 1 saw you last."
“I have changed them altogether."
CHAPTER X
At about the time when Sam Mar
lowe was having tlie momentous Inter
view with his father, described in the
last chapter, Mr. Rufus Bennett woke
from an after-luncheon nap In Mrs.
llignett’s delightful old-world mansion,
Windles. in the county of Hampshire.
He had gone to his room after lunch,
because there seemed nothing else to
do. 1t was still raining hard, so that
a rumble in the picturesque garden was
impossible, and the only alternative to
sleep, the society of Mr. Henry Morti
mer, had been one peculiarly distaste
ful to Mr. Bennett.
Much has been written of great
friendships between man and man,
friendships which neither woman can
mar nor death destroy. Rnt'us Bennett
had always believed that his friendship
for Mr. Mortimer was of tills order.
They had been hoys together In the
same small town, and had kept to
gether In after years. They had been
Damon and Pythias, David and Jona-
than. But never till now had they been
cooped up together iu an English coun
try house in the middle of u bad patch
of English summer weather. So this
afternoon Mr. Bennett, In order to
avoid his lifelong friend, had gone to
bed.
He awoke now with a start, and a
moment later realized what It was
that had aroused him. There was
music in the air. The room was full of
it. It seemed to he coining up through
the floor and rolling about In chunks
all round his bed. He blinked the last
fragments of sleep out of his system,
and became tilled with a restless irrita
bility.
He rang the bell violently, and pres
ently there entered a grave, thin. Intel
lectual man who looked like a duke,
only more respectable. This was Web
ster, Mr. Bennett’s English valet.
"Is that Mr. Mortimer?” he barked,
as the door opened.
“No, sir. It Is I—Webstrt." Not
even the annoyance of being summoned
like this from an absorbing game of
penny nap In the housekeeper’s room
had the power to make the valet care
less of his grammar. “I fancied that I
heard your bell ring, sir."
“I wonder you could hear anything
with that Infernal nolso going on,"
snapped Mr. Bennett. “Is Mr. .Morti
mer playing that—that d —d gas-engine
in the drawing room?"
“Yes, sir. ‘Tostl’s Good-by.' A
charming air, sir."
“Charming ulr he —! Tell him to stop
It.”
"Very good, sir.”
The valet withdrew like a duke leav
ing the royal presence, not actually
walking backwards, but giving the Im
pression of doing so. Mr. Bennett lay
in bed and fumed. Presently the valet
returned. The music still continued to
roll about the room.
“I am sorry to have to Inform you,
sir,” said Webster, “that Mr. Mortimer
declines to accede to your request."
“Oh, he said that, did he?”
“Billie, I want you to go to
London and see Sir Mallaby
Marlowe.”
(TO HE CONTINUED.)
Keeps Him “Cleaned.”
“Is your wife a good housekeeper?”
“Well, I’ll say this for her, she never
lets the ‘dust’ accumulate.” —Boston
Transcript.
Great Advantage.
Riches have one great advantage:
You can afford to throw away, after
you get home, the unsatisfactory hat
that you buy.
No one is ever convinced that he’
lacking In sense by epithets.
Asphaltic Concrete Base
Type of Road Pavement
On the Pacific coast there has been
widely developed over a period of
twenty-five years a type of pnveinent
and foundation which is the acme of
resiliency and flexibility and the ability
to resist the encroachments of water.
This pavement is known as the asphal
tic concrete base type. Its more com.
mon name is that of "black base."
This type is not patented or controlled
by any company or individual and la
laid at a moderate cost.
It is simply a foundation of three
or four inches of mixed stone and as
phalt on which is placed a wenring
course of the recognized sheet asphalt
or asphaltic concrete that is laid in
the East. This gives a total thickness
of five or six Inches of pnveinent and
foundation, which lias been found
ample to meet the heaviest and most
varied traffic known to California high
ways. In Visalia, Cal., is a “black
base" pavement that was laid in IStHI
and which is today in excellent condi
tion. The Visalia pavement Is offi
cially reported by the city engineer to
have cost nothing for maintenance.
Where the subgrade is unstable It is
good practice to lay a thin insulating
course of four Inches of broken stone.
Engineers familiar with this type of
construction claim that it Is the only
type which will successfully resist the
bombardment of heavy traffic and is,
therefore, destined to become standard
in eastern paving practice within a
comparatively few years. In the bor
ough of Manhattan, New York city,
tiie practice lias been adopted of re
placing foundation cuts in Fifth ave
nue with this type of asphaltic base
wherever an opening in the pavement
becomes necessary.
The feature of prime importance in
tills question of design of new pave
ments Is that the field is a very wide
one, that there are very many types
of pavement, that the engineer and
the taxpayer can conserve the inter
ests of good engineering and wise tax
outlay by taking fully into account the
possibilities of these various types of
paving and avoiding any policy that
! involves placing all the eggs In one
! basket.
Big Loads on Highways
Is Scored by Auto Club
Should one-lhlrd of one per cent of
the motor vehicles of a city be al
lowed to carry loads heavy enough to
ruin the highways for the remaining
90 2-8 per cent?
This question was answered in the
negative by the voters of Los Angeles
through a referendum initiated by the
Automobile Club of Southern Califor
nia. The city council passed an ordi
nance increasing the load limits for
trucks to 20,000 pounds, which is 4,000
pounds more than allowed under tin*
state law. The exhaustive engineer
ing investigation recently conducted
l>y the automobile dub demonstrated
clearly that excessive loading contrib
uted largely to the breaking down of
roads.
Arguments presented against the
26,000-pound load declared that In Los
Angeles only 36 vehicles out of every
10,000 could benefit by excessive load
ing. There are 250,000 motor ve
hicle owners In the city of Los An
geles alone paying a tax of two cents
jer gallon to Insure the highways be
ing maintained.
Inquiries from all parts of the
country Indicate that the action of the
Automobile Club of Southern Califor
nia to protect the roads Is being
watched with keen interest throughout
the United States.
Good Roads Soon Pay for
Themselves, Says Expert
Tests recently conducted by A. B.
Cutter, city engineer of Everett.
Wash., to determine the effect of
different road types upon gasoline con
sumption showed that on modern con
crete and bltullthlc asphalt roods
there is no difference In gasoline con
sumption. On gravel or waterbound
macadam roads in good condition gas
oline consumption is from 10 to 35 per
cent greater.
“Under modern volume of traffic,”
says Mr. Cutter, “good roads rapidly
pay for themselves In economy of
gasoline consumption and the same
holds true in economy of tire and
other automobile wear and tear.*
The tests were made on roads in
Washington, Oregon and California.
They provide a distance In each test
of 100 miles of continuous operation
in order accurately to record the gas
oline consumption and produce a fair
i average. It was required that the
tests be made on road surfaces in good
condition after three years’ practical
use and that a uniform speed of not
less than 20 nor more than 30 miles
per hour be maintained.