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Vise and Otherwise.
WLu a woman has a secret—
■dtbough she may not show it,
Sin* just as angry as can be
I no one wants to know it.
^h© is nobody? A prominent
woman’s husband.
Writing jokes is the funniest
wa; to make a living.
r Jilk is cheap—when
you use
yo\ir neighbors phone.
The full dress suit sometimes
covers an empty stomach.
Birds of a feather will soon be
flocking on Easter bonnets.
songs are beautiful until
amateur tries to ting them.
What is divorce? An
carved upon love’s tombstone.
Some people always seem to
trying to do their best—friends.
What is gossip? A deadly gas
that is often fatal to friendship..
It is better to be up with
lark than down with the measles.
Mary had a little lamb
When she was an infantine;
And when she was older
She had the quarantine.
A warm bite is not a soft snap
for the hobo who gets it from
dog.
What is marriage? The fatal
termination of the disease called
love.
Tbe barber has a scraping
quaintance with a great many
people.
Who is the undertaker? The
man who follows the medical pro¬
fession.
A bird on a woman's hat is
worth a dozen iu the bush—to the
milliner.
What is’matrimony ? A sort of
trust for the protection of infant
industries.
It is foolish to begin at the bot¬
tom and work up—if you are a
well digger.
There’s room for euerybody in
this big world, but we can’t all
have front rooms.
Women are more forgiving than
men; but men even things up by
being more forgetful.
One of the drawbacks of being
a hero is that, yoa have all the
doge named after you.
It is useless for a self-made
man to waste money taking out a
patent on his creation.
What is faith? The thing that
makes a bald headed man invest
a bottle of hair restorer.
What is tact? A woman’s abil¬
ity to make friends by laughing
at a man’s stupid jokes.
What is a kiss? ’ A simultane-
OU8 contraction of the mouth and
enlargement of the heart.
Who is a spinster? A woman
who wouldn't marry if she could,
and couldn’t if she would.
Never hit a man when he’s
down. It’s safer to throw roack?
at him when he’s up a tree.
A mouse is afraid of a man, a
man is afraid of a woman and a
woman is afraid of a mouse.
Same men seem to think they
are overworked ju6t because they
have to breathe for a living.
What is a bigamist? A foolish
man who thinks he can manage
more than one woman at a time.
Some people are of the opinion
that honesty is a good policy, but
there must be no premiums on it.
Paradoxical as it may seem
the most curious thing in the
world-U a woman who is not cu¬
rious.
No great thing is accomplished
without effort; rw reward with¬
out a-wiggle; no victory with¬
out warefare.
Many a man who can’t afford
to wear a collar around his neck
will pay five cents for ou% on a
glass of beer.
Whenever you bear a pretty
girl say that her face is her for-
tune, it’s very apt to be some fel¬
low’s miss-fortune.
No one is proof against embar¬
rassment. A poms plaster is an
unemotional thing, and yet it is
sometimes taken aback.
Mother: “Willie, how dare
yon take all the playthings away
from your little brothers and
mns?” Father: “Let the boy
alone, Maria. May I 3 some
ha’ll grow np to be Uw head of
great tv»«t.”
All Cher the State.
Fitzgerald Enterprise: A man
can’t fail to support the Demo¬
cratic nominee this year and still
be a patriot.
Albany Herald: The Benja¬
min Harrison presidential boom
i Indianna will do very well to
pair with the drover Cleveland
boomlet.
We have been informed that
Mr. Bennett Scarborough lost by
tire last week a house and a quan¬
tity of peas, fodder, etc.—Cordele
Sentinel.
Hawkinsville Dispatch: Tin?
Mississippi legislature is taking
steps to induce manufacturers to
locate in that state. Exemption
from taxation for ten vears is an
attractive offer.
Fitzgerald Enterprize: Our
cheerful Ocilla contemporary has
disposed of a knotty question by
declaring Ihe dog law unconstitu¬
tional. His neighbors have re¬
sorted to poison as a solution of
the dileina in which they are left.
Hawkinsville Dispatch: Mr.
duBignon lias announced that he
will not oppose Senator Bacon.
We didn’t think he would, be¬
cause the people are not yet ready
to retire Senator Bacon, and no
one perhaps knows that better
than Mr. duBignon.
Will some apostle of free silver
explain the rise in the price of
cotton immediately following the
passage of a gold standard law?
We believed three years ago as
we believe now—that it was and
is simply a matter of supply and
demand.—Fitzgerald Enterprise.
Bainbridge Democrat: Sena¬
tor Clay, of Georgia, delivered
one of the strongest speeches on
tbe Philippine question that has
yet beeu heard in the senate.
The two Georgia senators have
taken high rank in that august
body, and are making records
that are very gratifying to their
constituents.
The Georgia industrial home
has the youngest professional
tramp in Georgia, and Mr. Mum-
ford, the head of the institution,
ha3 found it exceedingly difficult
to manage the little fellow, wlio
is forever running away, and car¬
rying with him a string of other
boys. But up to the present time
the lad has been caught before he
got very far away. His name is
Willis Durden. He is nine years
old and says he made one tour to
London, while running away from
home. He camo from Savannah,
—Macon Telegraph.
Hawkinsville Dispatch: Sarah
Mathews, a colored woman about
fifty years of age, was struck
with paralysis at her mother's
home, near Fort Valley, Thursday
under extraordinary circumstan¬
ces, and is now lying in a most
critical condition. She lives with
an infirm mother, who is now
more than eighty years years old,
and who has been totally blind
for twenty years. The young
woman has been repeatedly ac¬
cused of mistreating her aged
mother, and on more than one
of these occasions of abuse the
old woman has warned her daught¬
er that some judgment would
overtake her-in retribution for
her lack of filial love and respect.
While the Mathews woman was
beating her mother Thursday she
was suddenly stricken with par¬
alysis and Jost. complete control
of her limbs. She is still help¬
less and is not likely to recover
from the stroke.
Greenville News: Georgia farm¬
ers are reported to be selling their
crop of cotton, not yet in the
ground, for 7 1-2 to 8 1-2 cents.
We do not believe the story. With
7 1-2 cents guaranteed there
would he a crop for over 12,000,-
000 bales and every purchasing
speculator in the land would be
bankrupt. Our advice to the farm¬
er who is offered 8 cents for his
unplanted crop is to iusist on dol¬
lars to the full amount to bind
the transaction. Taking the
chances of weather iB risky
enough. When these are compli¬
cated with a gambling deal to be
settled eight, months hence, the
scheme is too badly tangled for
any ordinary horny handed son
of toil to tackle. The homy-
handed son of toil is on his own
ground in a horse swap or any
other ordinary civilized trading,
but when be goes into the cotton
futuree business he is a little dog
in high rye.
Our \\ iregrass Industries.
The Times is proud ol ihe show¬
ing which is being made by the
towns in the wiregruss section of
the State in the matter of estab¬
lishing cotton mills and other in¬
dustrial enterprises. Valdosta,
Tifton, Quitman, Moultrie and
other wiregrnss towns have mills
under way, and each will have
them operating before the next
cotton season conics on.
Nearly all of these mills are be¬
ing established by wiregrass capi¬
tal, and are going to be operated
by men who ha ve won their spurs
in conducting successfully other
linos of business in this section
of the State. That these enter¬
prises have paid handsome divi¬
dends in other parts of the coun¬
try is a fair guarantee that they
will pay well in the towns where
they are being established. It,
lias been demonstrated a number
of times that the wiregrass busi¬
ness man can hold his own with
men from any other section and,
this being true, there is no reason
to doubt that he will lie equal to
the task of conducting cotton
mills as successfully as they have
been conducted in other sections
of the south.
While the cotton mills are at¬
tracting more attention just now
than any other kind of enterprise,
they arc not the oniy industries
that are being launched m the
wiregrass this year. In several
localities sugar will be made on
a larger scale than ever before.
While these sugar mills are to be
in a measure, they
are going to pave the way for
larger industries of the kind.
And it should be thp effort of
the people of this section to en¬
courage a diversity of manufac¬
turing enterprises to convert their
raw products into manufactured
goods. Diversified crops have
made the wiregrass farmer the
most prosperous of southern
farmers, and diversified industries
will make our whole section more
prosperous than we have dreamed
of before.—Valdosta Times.
The Times is justly proud of
Wiregrass Georgia, and of her
future, and the Advance gives a
hearty amen and i3onlv sorry that
Ashburn is not in the list with
aldosta Tifton, Quitman
Moultrie and the other towns that
have mills under way. Will they
not pay, in Ashburn equally as
well as in other towns? If not,
why not? We would like to have
an expression from some of our
business men on this subject.
Let us hear from some one in
next. Our columns are open.
Silver Cornet Band.
The instruments for the Ash¬
Silver Cornet Band, sixteen
in number, have arrived, and the
band boys are happy. The fol¬
lowing gentlemen compose the
band:
J. F. Jenkins, solo cornet.
A. B. Clarke, solo cornet.
W. M. Hargrove, 1st cornet.
Carl Kadaway, 2d cornet.
A. J. Wells, Flug.il horn.
W. 0. Flitch, 1st alto.
Claude McLendon, 2d alto.
F. E. Hudson, solo alto.
E. C. Harrell, 1st tenor.
Edd. Bolden, 2d tenor.
G. T. Betts, baritone.
II. T. Bohannan, (leader) slide
trombone.
H. Futch, B. bass.
J. F. Bohannon,tuba.
C. R Bridges, bass drum.
Ed. Mullins, tenor drum.
Tho boys are now ready, and
for campaign rallies, and public
it will be just the pro¬
per thing to have the Ashburn
Cornet Band furnish the
music for the occasion. All that
the campaign managers will have
do will be to furnish the boodle
the band will do the rest.
can very nearly blow a man
office.
The Advance is sorry to note
the fact that big, fat, good-na¬
tured Dr. T. H. Thrasher has been
feeling a little under the weather
for the past week. The doctor is
not confined to bis house, how¬
ever, and we trust that he will
soon be all right again.
In compliance with a request
from several of our leading col-
ored citizens, among whom are
the Revs. J. C. Owens, G. J. Gat-
ling and Glenn 0. Smith, we will
hereafter allow our colored friends
the use of one column,
To-day is the 17th of March—
St. Pa&ick’s Day—and the wear-
infyioT ale green is in order
ms cheel ,
LOCAL API AIRS.
Things That Happen About Town.
Personal Mention Etc.
Cheer Vour f-ellow-Men.
JAMRS WUITCOMBRILKV.
if you slmulil goo a follow-iimn with trou
hlo's ting unfurled,
An' looking like ho didn't have a friend in all
tho world,
do up and’ sdap him on the Imok, an' hollow,
'•How d’you do?"
An' grasp his hand so warm he'll know he has
a friend In you;
Then as him what's a burtln’ him, an' lauirh
his earns away.
An’ tell him that tho darkest night is Just be¬
fore the day.
Don't talk graveyard palaver, but say It right
out loud;
That God will sprinkle sunshlno in the trail of
every cloud.
How’s your vaccinate?
Ice cold drinks bavo boon on
sale here all week.
Garden planting is the order of
the day hereabouts.
The ice man tv ill soon bo the
most popular man in town.
Dr. George W. Cooper went up
to Cordele on business Tuesday.
The Advance would like a cor¬
respondent at every town in this
immediate vicinity.
Col. J. A. Comer has purchased
h lot on College avenue and in¬
tends erecting a handsome cottage
thereon.
Mr. M. S. Oantoy, the popular
manager of the Shingler Mercan¬
tile Co., made a bus!ness trip to
Macon Wednesday.
Mr. Luke Cranford, of Thomas-
ton, who is a denier in stock, on
last Wednesday sold to Mr. W. A.
Murray fivu head of line mules.
Attention is called to the ad¬
vertisement in another column of
J. D. Harrell, Referee in Bank¬
ruptcy, in case of Walter Cowan.
Messrs. J. C. and Charles Hick¬
man, who have been on a visit to
relatives in S. C., stopped over
here a few days this week before
returning to their homo in Klber,
Ala.
When you know an item of
local interest don’t fail to give it
to the Advance. We will appre¬
ciate it. We want to print the
news, so help us along by giving
us items.
Contractor Shirah is building
in the southern part of town a
neat three room cottage for Mr.
T. J. Shingler. One by one they
go up. Ashburn will be a city
one of these days.
And? now it conies to pass that
there is to be a newspaper estab¬
lished at the capital—Isabella.
The defunct News and Immigrant,
formerly published at Poulan, lias
been purchased by the Worth
County News and Publishing
Company. Good luck to you,
brothers. The more the merrier.
It is with sincere regret that we
notice an account of the destruc¬
tion by tire of both the Sentinel
and News printing offices at High
Springs, Fin., which lire also de¬
stroyed the major part of the city-
The Sentinel had as an associate
editor the only and original Major
George Butler, a veteran of two
wars, and who is well know in
Ashburn as a localizer without a
peer.
Wo are sorry to have to chroni¬
cle the permanent departure from
our burg of that clever gentle¬
man, Mr. Cranford, who has for
more than a your been in the
livery business in Ashburn, dur¬
ing which time he has made
many warm friends among the i
gentleman and — ladies. Mr.
0. goes to Americus, and the best
wishes of his hosts of friends go
with him.
The Advance extends a hearty
welcome to Mr. W. II. Everett,
of Vienna, a brother to our Mr.
Phil. C. Everett, and who comes
among us as the manager for
the lumber firm of Messrs. Dur¬
ham A Everett, who has recently
started into the saw mil) business,
and who will doubtless get their
share of the business. Again we
sav, welcome and good luck to
you, Mr. Everett.
We have been reliably inform¬
ed that our good friend Henry
Daniels has a motive m Iiis fre-
q uen t visits to the country, and
w ] ie) , tlie truth is known, it
w ;n conie to jjght that a widow is
bottom of it. Well, if
we give him up, we would
rather lie should fall into trained
hands, of course. But who would
. . ... Well ... J weli. ...
have thought jt.
well! We can give our author if
needs be.
Death of “llnrle" Wiisli
We know tlmt it will he
siul hearts nml deep feelings
emotion that our readers will
learn of the d*>ath of tlmt
ful old laborer in the vineyard
the Lord, ‘‘Uncle” Wash Oliver,
who passed peacefully to lii.s re¬
ward, at his home in Pike county,
the forepart of the week. Our
people will remember him as the
man of Hod under whose preach¬
ing, a year or so since, so many
were brought nearer to the cross.
ITe had his own peculiar way of
getting at the people, hut in that
way many souls were doubtless
saved.
It is said by one who knew him
well that he had baptised between
seven and eight thousand people.
Truly this man has been a benefit
to the world.
We did not learn the particulars
of his death, From some one
who knows we would be pleased
to hear.
It is with a deep sigh of relief
that the management, of this pa¬
per breathes as we look out of
our front bay window and witinss
the hooking up of tlie last drove
of mules, preparatory to
their departure. If those mule
men are trying to tost the strength
of the Ashburn Advance, they
may as well give up the job, for
we think that it lias been fully
illustrated that this is no one
horse concern, and that whole
droves of mules having failed as
yet to do more than kick out a
half dozen window lights, loosen
tho weather boarding of our sanc¬
tum, cause tho roof to let in tho
sunshine and the rain, and our
junior editor to blow his Horn(e)
for an escaped and frighted devil,
we ought to be let alone. Wo
are not scared, we would have you
mule folks understand, but for
the sake of the neighbors, if you
want to leave, leave.
Mr. Reason Paulk is among t he
new comers (o our town. While
Mr. I’aulk has for a long time
been a near neighbor to ns, hav¬
ing been a resident of Sycamore,
and is well known to many of our
people, still it is better to
him with us, and the Advance,
acting as spokesman, bids him
welcome to our city. Reason is
one of the gentlemen who are the’
successors to Jeffrey dr, Roobin,
and is just one of the men to bold
tho immense trade enjoyed by his
predecessors, who delight in refer¬
ring to the fact (hat, judicious ad¬
vertising, coupled with polite at¬
tention and fair dealings with all
is what did the work for them.
We bespeak for the new firm suc¬
cess.
Revival services have been in
progress at the Methodist, church
during the week. Rev. J. 0.
Flanders, the pastor, is being
ably assisted by tho Rev. .1. L.
Murrell, of Cartersvillc, Ga., who
preaches with much force and
earnestness, and who pels his
whole soul in the work. Ho admits
no neutral ground, and impresses
upon his hearers that wo must, be
either for or against. To use his
“if you'are you are,
and if you are not, you are not.”
Prof. E. .). Check furnishes the
music. In to reM in tho meeting
is growing, and much good will
doubtless be tho result.
From the number of sales by
tho sheriff in Irwin county one
would conclude that most of the
folks are to ho sold out for taxes.
r ^ ,W0 ,1 PP' ,;ir8 the Ocilla Dis-
P a,,; h ,JV(jr pit'ces of property
advertised by tho sherilt.
Miss Carrie Jackson, of Syca¬
more, entertained quite a number
y° Hn S people at her father’s
1 me (Friday) evening.
Several Ashburnites were invited
and attended, reporting a most
pleasant occasion.
Mr. Frank Simms, of Millner,
Ga., spent several days here this
week, a guest at. the I’innix house.
NOTICK OK I IKST MKKTINI. of CHKDITOKS.
In the District Court of tho In Pol States for
tho huHtem hivMon of tho Southern
District of Georgia In
bankruptcy.
In tho mattorK of
Walter W. Cowan Bankrupt .) /■ In Bankruptcy.
To tho creditors of Walter W, Cowan, of
Worth In the county of Worth and district
aforesaid, a bankrupt:
-Notice is hereby #iven that on tho DtVi day of
March A. I>. JWW, the said Walter W. Cowan was
duly adjudicated bankrupt, and tho /Jr«t
meeting of'his creditors will be held at Ash-
hum, Oa., in office of I. A. Corner on the 28th
day of March A. I)., WOO at 9 o’clock In the
forenoon, at which time the said creditors
"“Vattend, prove tbvlr claims,appoint tttru*.
tee, examine tho bankrupt and transact moh
other business as may properly come before
wm meeting. j. d. Harrell,
Referee.In Bankruptcy,
K;;iabridge. <»* , «M2-i.boo,
OUR STOCK OF
New Spring Goods
are:
Arriving Daily.
We have made a careful
Study of the Mar¬
kets and our
DRESS GOODS
Indude the Newest and Latest goods
out. Our Silks for waists and trim¬
ming are beauties. Oar dress goods
are all cut in short Sengths===no two
waist patterns alike.
OUR CLOTHS NO
Will reach us in a few days. We bought
a r^ice Line andean fit you. Our suits
with Double-breasted vests are attractive
and up-to-date. Suits to fit the Large,
Medium size and Slim SVlan—let us show
»
them to you before buying.
OUR SHOES.
Shoes fo? the Ladles, Shoes for the Ba¬
bies, Shoes for men, girls and Boys, in¬
cluding’ ell the toes, colors and shapes.
We want the ladies to inspect our famous
Zeigler Bros, line of Shoes, Oxford ties
and Slippers. We are carrying the Hess’
fine shoes for men.
HATS, HATS
Of every description, Dress Hats, work¬
ing man’s hats, Dwroies and straw, felt
and cork hats. Let us show you through.
GROCERIES,
L ? ew and fresh. You will find no old
goods on our shelves—we buy them, open
sell out and replace with new goods.
You should try Heinze’s Pickles, Jellies.
Tomato Catsup and Sir-din Relish—we
know of nothing better.
FURNITURE.
Room Sets, Chifoneers, Dressers, Hat
Sacks, Book cases, lounges, willow rock-
ers, golden-oak rockers, willcw and reed
Baby carriages. Sn fact a fu I nine of furn¬
iture of all kinds. Carpets and rngs of all
descriptions. Try us before buying—we’ll
do our best to please you.
H a rd wa re ~ C rocke ry.
Stoves, plows, wagon and plow gear,
hardware of all kinds.
Dinner sets, water sets, toilet sets; most
anything you can call for in Crockery and
Glassware. Gall and inspect.
Highest market price paid for Country Produce
You cannot ever dock us with chickens and eggs
Our trade demands more than we can possibly
get, so try us when you come.to town. We want
atl you can spare and will pay Top of market.
YOURS TRULY,
J. S. BETTS SCO •*
Ashburn, Ga. /