Newspaper Page Text
Banks County Gazette.
YOL. II.—NO. 47.
PUZZLED PHYSICIANS.
A Patient Who Cannot Swallow Solid
Pood Without the Aid of Water.
In this city there is a case that has
for years puzzled the best physicians.
R. H. Allen has for over thirty
years been a sufferer from a most
peculiar trouble, and yet he is today
in good health. His case is said by
physicians to be the only one of its
kind that has ever been known, and
has by a dozen or more eminent doc
tors been pronounced inexplicable
and incurable.
When Mr. Allen was a boy about
twelve years of age the trouble first
came upon him in the following man
ner : He was visiting friends in the
country one day, and as it was dur
ing the season when harvest pears
are ripe he ate a great many. After
ho had eaten quite a number he sud
denly began to feel that he could not
swallow any more and that his stom
ach was full up to his throat, so to
speak. He was taken with a fit of
coughing and choking and seemed
to be unable to swallow anything.
When he next tried to eat he
found that his food would not go
down into his stomach and after a
number of attempts to eat found that
the only way he could get his food
to pass down into his stomach was
by drinking a quantity of water or
some other liquid very fast and thus
force his food down. He had a good
appetite and relished his food, but he
could only eat so much, and then the
valve which carries the food into the
stomach would fill up. A number of
physicians were consulted and vari
ous treatments tried, but all without
avail.
The doctors were unable to explain
the trouble. Some said that it was
due to paralysis of the stomach or
the valve which carries the food
from the mouth into the stomach.
On examination this valve was found
to be entirely closed up, and a probe
could only be gotten down into the
stomach by forcing it through the
obstruction, which was so closed
up that it would not even allow
water to pass into the stomach. The
best possible explanation seemed to
be that the trouble was due to a
stricture of the esophagus, but how
this was brought about is not known.
The doctors told him that the only
way he could get his food down
was to drink water rapidly after his
meals.
Asa result of this advice Mr. Al
len lias lived and enjoyed good
health for thirty years or more.
There are some hard sulistances
which he does not dare to eat, as
they will not pass into his stomach
under any circumstances, but by a
little care in his diet he enjoys good
health. He eats a good meal and
then drinks alxiut a pint of some
liquid very fast, and by sheer will
power forces the food into his stoin
ach which has accumulated in the
esophagus. If he did not do this his
food would remain clogged up in the
esophagus for days and not enter the
stomach at all.—New Haven Reg
ister.
Tlo Profcitftloiial Politician.
I wonder how many men in this
city who do not themselves hold
offices of any kind, and are not
interested directly or indirectly in
any distribution of the patronage in
the present or in the future, know
the name of their congressman?
When you come to the minor offices,
the number of them is so great that
it is impossible for any man who is
not a professional to know the names
of the holders. I don’t say this for
the purpose of blubbering over the
ascendancy of the professional jjoliti
cian. He owes his success to the
fact that he can put up better poli
tics than the amateur. Just so the
professional baseball player plays
better than the amateur.
Instead of abusing the professional
politician we ought to bo grateful to
him. He takes a great deal of work
off our hands, and he does it a great
deal better than we could. I don’t
believe that he makes very much out
of it, as a rule, and I think he earns
all he makes.—Blakely Hall in Brook
lyn Eagle.^
Deep Mourning.
Young Widow—Life has lost all its
charms for me; I shall enter a con
vent and spend the rest of my days
in mourning for my dear husband.
Officer—But, madam, it would lie
nothing short of suicide for a lady
like yourself, so beautiful, wealthy,
and thirty years of age, to
Young Widow (interrupting)—Beg
your pardon; only twenty-nine.—
Der Floh.
gif there is an over production of
food and clothing in America is it not
a shams that hundreds of thousands
do not have enough of either ? Popu-
Livingston, of Georgia believes re
form can be got within old party
lines. In this respect he differs from
his Maker, for God Almighty always
made anew party to bring about a
reform among the children of men.
Painters on the Big Bridge.
He was a stout, well fed man on
one of the bridge cars, and as he no
ticed the painters running lightly
along the big cables, scarcely touch
ing the handrail, he shuddered.
“They must have to pay those men
well to get them to do that sort of
work,” he said to the conductor.
“They must, hey?” said the con
ductor. “Well, whether they must
or not, they don’t.” And having got
rid of this array of negatives he went
on, “Them men gets $3.50 a day an
no more.”
“That seems small pay for such
dangerous work,” said the short man.
“Dangerous nothin,” was the re
sponse. “I used to work at it an I
didn't find any danger in it There
ain't none if the bridge don’t fall, an
that ain’t likely. I’m a hit stiff now
an not just in shape for that sort
of work, but it’s nothing to a young
man.
“Most of them men is sailor men,
as I was, an they’re very glad to get
a job like paintin the bridge. It
ain’t half as bad work as hustlin out
at all hours an in all sorts of weather
an pullin and haulin an reefin sails
that’s all covered with ice, and then
be in cussed an rnebbe knocked down
with a belayin pin by the cap’n or
mate, an all for twelve or fourteen
dollars a month.—New York Mail
and Express.
A Photographic Ghost.
There is one curious way by which
houses have been mado “haunted”
as much as houses were ever the resi
dences of spirits. In a New York
town some summers ago a woman
saw in passing the house of her birth
what she was convinced was the spirit
face of her dead mother, killed by
lightning a month before. Of course
this house became “haunted” in the
minds of the superstitious—it had
the unenviable reputation for many
months. But a year afterward a
more than usually brave citizen saw
the face at the window as he was
p;iß.sing. It did not change as he ap
proached.
And tho result of his investigation
showed that the lightning flash which
killed poor Mrs. Itodman had photo
graphically drawn her likeness on a
pane of glass—a very faint impres
sion, true, only noticeable when the
sun was in a certain position, hut
thou wonderfully bright, probably
the best human photograph ever
taken. The phonograph may be used
to bequeath tho eloquence of modem
orators to a future generation, but
the lightning flash in producing the
perfect likeness of Mrs. Rodman can
probably never be unproved upon.—
Boston Journal.
Employees* of tle Queen** Household.
The lord steward has the whole di
rection of the royal household txslow
tho stairs. Tiie treasurer of the
household, the comptroller of the
household, the master of tho horse
and the master of the buckhounds
have duties which their titles mark
out, and they carry wands of offico.
The master of horses is the only one
who can use the sovereign’s horses,
carriages, pages or footmen. There
are also attached to the royal person
a captain of the yeoman of the guard,
a private secretary, a keejier of the
queen’s private purse, master of cer
emonies, lords in waiting, gentlemen
ushers of the private chamber, equer
ries, pages of honor, etc.
These last are dressed in antique
costume, and attend at receptions
and on state occasions. The groom
of the robes and the young pages
carry her majesty’s train on state oc
casions. There are also maids of
honor, mistress of the robes, ladies
in waiting, etc. The maids of honor
have the title of “honorable," and
when they marry receive a present
of £I,OOO from the queen.—Joel Ben
ton’s London Letter.
An AhHtruct Idea.
At a card party at Charles Lamb’s,
Hazlitt and Lamb’s brother got into
a discussion as to whether Holbein’s
coloring was as good as that of Van
dyke. At length they became so ex
cited that they upset the table and
seized each other by the throat. In
the struggle Hazlitt got a black eye;
but when the combatants were part
ed, Hazlitt turned to Talfonrd, who
was offering his aid, and said: “You
need not trouble yourself, sir. Ido
not mind a blow, sir. Nothing af
fects me but an abstract idea!”—
Table Talk.
It is a fact worthy of note that
Jesus Christ was crucified on account
of politics and not religion. The old
political bosses were atraid he would
establish anew party and overthrow
the corrupt government then existing.
—Populist.
If the liquor men have not given
the leaders of the National Repub
lican Party to understand that Pro
hibition in lowa must be repealed
HOMER, BANKS COUNTY, GEORGIA: MARCH 30, 1802.
before the Presidential campaign
opens, there lias been a thick coat of
dark green moss growing on the
backs of the liquor men since “Bon
fort's Wine and Spirit Circular”
jubilantly announced, soon after the
repeal or Prohibition in Rhode Isladd,
that the program would be: “lowa,
Kansas, Vermont and then Maine!”
“The Old Lady by the Sea.”
“Says the Galveston News: Properly
considered politics need not occupy
very much of the private citizen’s time;
politics when regarded as a substitute
for industry and independent living at
home can never be a success to the
farmer or other useful laborer in what
ever sphere.”
The above is a typical Galveston
News sentence, one of those that no
one can make head or tail of, that
may mean much or may mean
nothing; that commits the paper to no
expression of opinion one way or
the other, while it still has a atrorg
kind of undertone urging the farmer
and artizan to hump himself a bit
more in his work nnd leave politics to
those who make it their especial busi
ness. To such politics is an undoubt
ed “success” and a complete “substi
tute.” But then, it must never be
forgotten, the professional politician
is not “a farmer,” and neither his
dearest friend, or most hated foe,
would lay the flattering unction to
his soul that he comes in under
“other useful laborer;” so he is not in
tho picture at all. But all the same
ho is not in the picture at all. But
all the same he “gets there,” meta
phoridally with “both feet.” Asa
seif opinionated “guide, philosopher
and friend” the Galveston News out
shines all of its contemporaries. It
is the “glass of fashion and mould of
form” to * largo circle of admiring
relatives and friends while its self com
placency is about an equal mixture of
Micamper and Pecksniff. Asa blower
of Hoap bubbles it is a genius an as
an expander of soap bubbles into bal
loons it is par excellence “the boss.”
Glorious old cajolor what an epitome
of stale taffy you are 1 A regular and
careful reader of the GalTeston News
is fit to tackle the puzzle column any
evening in the week. A man who
can once succeed in finding where the
Galveston News is and sticking a pin
in it ought to be retired on a pen
sion, he has done his country a ser
vice. It was only the other day that
tho News was insisting that the citizen
and farmer must take more interest
in politics, with an insistance that
came as near being earnestness as the
stately composure and well bred nou
chalence, which characterizes the
News, would and could permit. And
now we get a third of a column essay
on the beauty of the “don’t care” at
titude in politics. Tiy and con
ceive what would be the result if the
Galveston News bad the drafting or
the naming of the constitution and
legislature. Why even “Snap Shots,”
short and—can we truthfully say—
as he is, never gets off one of his ep
igrammatic sentences but he, as if
fearful of having possibly committed
himself to saying something, taken it
back in anothor shot which wobbles
in the exactly opposite direction.
The French philosopher who said tiiat
“language was given to conceal out
thought” has no more fervent wor
shiper or devoted follower than the
News. Does the News know what it
wants or what it advocates itself? It
reminds us very much of a growing
youth winking at a pretty girl in the
dark. He may know what ho is
doing but nobody else does.
Money, More Money!
The cause of hard times and pres
ent stringency is lack of money. The
people are solvent enough but the
circulating medium, money, is so ter
ribly below what isjnecessary to do the
business of the country that the peo
ple cannot pay their debts, work is at
a standstill, business men are being
financially strangled and farmers
ruined. What is the common-sense
remedy? Why, of course, increase
the circulating medium, the money,
which is the legal representative of
property to a sufficient volume to en-
a 1 le the people to transact their busi
ness. People cannot pay their debts
in property. If a man has a thousand
acres of land valued at S3O per acre
or $30,000 worth of land, and if ho
has only $lO cash in his pocket and
and owes SIOO ho cannot pay the
SIOO. He cannot cart off three and
one third acres of land and plank it
down to pay that SIOO as the creditor
does not want land, he wants cash to
meet a bill of his own and so on.
This is the fix the country is in at the
present time, and this scarcity of act
ual cash is going to ruin every debtor
in the country unless a cash currency
is provided quickly. We need for
adequate relief SSO per head of circu
lating medium. Average the earn
ings of the million of idle men in the
country at $2 per day each and sup
pose they put half their earnings into
purchasing homes that would mean
$6,000,000 spent in houses and lots
every week. Would not this cause
land to rise in value, to say nothing
of the increased comfort of the peo
ple and the tradesmen’s bills that
would bo paid?—The Truth.
A NUPTIAL NOVELTY.
now tho Matrimonial Knot Wu Tied
by a Frontier JnKtice of tho Peace.
Camping near a town in Wyoming,
we secured our stock and went in.
Entering the leading store of the
town, I introduced myself to Mr.
Stiles, one of tho proprietors, and
the postmaster. Stiles said: “It’s
now 2:30, and at 3 tliero’s a wedding
at Jonas Burton's. Old Jonas is a
rough old coon that we elected a
justice of tho peaco about a month
ago, and as this will be his first at
tempt at a marriage I think we will
see some fun. Como, go with me.”
Wo wont into the old squire’s cabin
and found him poring over a large
volume of tho “Statutes of Wyo
ming,” sweating like a horse and
looking terribly anxious. After greet
ing us he said:
“Stiles, them galoots that got up
theso yer laws hadn’t gumption
enough to last ’em over night. I’ve
run through the blamed books a half
dozen times an can’t find a word
alxiut matrimony or how the hitchin
process is porcedod with. I’ve just
got to put the clamps on this ere
couplo, hit er miss, an if 1 don’t yoke
’em up legal I can’t help it."
Stiles explained to him about how
to proceed, and the old man finally
thought he could worry through in
tolerable shape.
Ere long the couple appeared, fol
lowed by a crowd of citizens of the
cam]). The candidates stood up be
fore the squire, who began:
“Feller citizens, this yer man and
this yer woman have appeared before
the court to be hitched in the legal
bands of wedlock I If any galoot in
tho mob knows of anything that
might block tho game if tuck to a
higher court, let him now toot his
bazoo or elso keep his jaw to himself
now and forevermore. All in favor
of perceeding as authorized by law
say ‘l.’ ”
Everybody said “L”
“Contrary, ‘No.’”
Nobody said “No.”
“The motion’s carried unanimous
ly, an the court rules that there
hain’t nothing to prevent the trying
of the case.”
“Now,” said the squire, “grip your
fins."
The candidates joined hands.
“Amos Peabody, do you solemnly
swaar that ye’ll freeze to Mandy for
ever, and provide for her and treat
her squar’ and white accordiu to the
rales and regulations set down to
govern sich cases in the laws o’ the
United States, so help you God?”
“Yas, sir; I do, sir.”
“That fixes your end of the bar
gain.
“Mandy Thomas, do you solemnly
swaar that you’ll hang on to Amos
for all comin time; that you’ll nuss
him in sickness and be squar’ to him
in wellness; that ye’ll always be to
him a good, true, honest, up and up
wife under tho penalties prescribed
by the laws for the punishment of
sich offenses? Do you 6waar this, so
help yer God ?”
“I swear I will.”
“Then, by the power in me vested
as justice of the peace in and for this
precinct., I pronounce you, Amos
Peabody, husband, and you, Mandy
Thomas, wife, and legalize ye to re
main such now and forevermore;
an ye’ll stand committed till the fees
and costs in the case are paid in full,
an may God have mercy on your
souls an bless this union with his
heftiest blessin’s.”
The fees and costs were adjusted,
and the newly made husband and
wife after receiving the congratula
tions of the assembly departed for
their cabin up the creek.—Cor. Chi
cago Tribune.
Urcna Sparks.
The farmers are buisy preparing
for another crop for corn and cotton.
Mr. William Acrey is going into
the pea culture. Guesa peas will
bring a good price next fall.
Mr. J. J. Ragsdale went to *ee his
beat girl Sunday week.
The Sunday school was well at
tended at Corenth church Sunday
evening.
Mr. H. J. Caudell and Mr. M. C
Bowling swapped sisters and made a
flying trip to the mountains last Sun
day.
There is a fine clay-bank mule on
\V. A. Martin’s farm. Would like to
know the owner.
Mr. Phillip Martin has a fine pair
of “horned horses” that plow well.
Look out, young ladies; a young
man in this neighborhood has dyed
his mustache.
B ONTOif.
Important to Farmers.
The farmers of the country are al
ways pleased to receive suggestions
as to how to better their condi
tion make life more pleasant and
attractive—if that be possible. Those
who know what a farmer’s life is by
practical experience, by having been
between the plow handles, or having
stood to tho leeward of a threshing
machino in active work or in various
other ways in which a knowledge of
farm life can be gained, will have, we
know some little difficulty in believ
ing that it is possible to better the
present conditions of agricultural ex
istence. Still there are persons in the
world who never seem to be content
(someone has said that “discontent
is the great cause of progress,”) and
as those persons would try to im
prove Paradise if they were there, wo
are prompted this week to give to
our reader* a few suggestions that we
have come across in a San Antonio
daily paper. We do this because the
writer is so ingenius, and manifests
such a profound knowledge and ac
quaintance with his subject and is,
withal, evidently so impressed with
the importance of his message and is
filled with anxiety to her,el this fellow
creatures; and knowing also that his
paper has practically no circulation
amongst the class he writes for, wo
feel it would boa pity, almost a
calamity, that his well intended effort
should not be seen by those he is so
ambitious to serve. In view of all
these and we may say in passing, a
few score other reasons, we have de
cided to reprint his article. One
thing is certain—at least that is our
conviction, after mature considera
tion of what he urges—that if the
farmer will adopt the suggestions
mado he may be assured he will
have novelty in his life. This will bo
something anyway. Here is the
article headed “Tho Reason Why.”
“It is a notorious and singular fact
that farm life is distasteful even to
such as have been born and roared in
the country, in nearly all of the states
in the Union, while in Europe there
is little of this repugnance to rural
life manisfested. The sons and daugh
ters of our farmers are eager to for
sake the country and make their
homes in towns and cities, thus over
crowding the popular centers. The
vocation of the farmer is beyond all
comparison the most healthful and
independent. And where it is prose
cuted with industry and method
never fails to yield a competency of
worldly fortune. Nor is it incompati
ble with the cultivation of the intel-
lectual faculties and the social affec
tions and the amenities of poiished
society. What, then, is this deep
seated and unconquerable aveision to
farm life?
No doubt, much of the distaste felt
for farm life by youug persons of both
sexes arises from the monotony of
rural life. This unbroken monotony
produces ennui, discontent, lassitude
of mind and body, and a morbid
craving to escape from the country
at any sacrifice. To remedy this un
fortunate state of things farmers
must turn their attention to making
farm life cheerful, pleasant and desira
ble to their children, by providing
SINGLE COPY THREE CENTS.
them with newspapers, magazines and
books, fostering them with a taste for
reading, encouraging them to visit
neighbors as frequently as possible
and by introducing those social
amusements that make things pleas
ant to all. There should he a croquet
ground, a croquet set for out-door
pastimes and exercises, and other
sports should he indulged in. Mo
nononty and ennui must he prevented
at any cost, if the homo circle is to
remain intact. Many a farmer never
so much as dreams of subscribing for
newspapers and magazines for his
wife and children, and many arc too
penurious to do so, or else regard a
taste for reading as unprofitable.
Every farm house should contain a
library of useful and miscellaneous
books. An annual expenditure of
twenty dollars would soon result in
the accumulation of a moderate sized
library, and these books would divest
rainy days of their dullness and ennui.
Farmers should do their best to
make “life on the farm” pleasant and
cheerful, and, by so doing, they
would add to their own interests, for
tho happy man works best. Home
should be the dearest and happiest
place on earth, and the nearer it is
made so the longer will the children
want to rest under the paternal roof.”
To attempt to improve the above
or add to the suggestions would seem
so much like attempting to paint the
lily that we have considerable hesita
tion in doing so. Still if wo may ho
permitted to take such an evident
liberty we would suggest to the farm
er that he should, instead of the pres
ent mod. , hoist liis hay into the barn
with an improved hydraulic lift;
plow his land by means of dynamite
charges, fired by electricity; have hot
and cold water laid on to his bath
rooms; light his house with the
electric light and at once have tele
phonic wires connecting with the city
and the principal edifices on the farm.
An automatic steam whistle to wake
up the hired man and the poultry in
the morning would undoubtedly also
he an excellent thing to have and,
while he was about making these im
picvements, he might consider also
the best and most convenient method
of introducing, purely as an experi
ment of course, an improved machine
for producing United Stales bonds,
so as to establish a domestic national
bank, in which case he might be able
to lend money to the editorial writers
on drily newspapers and so endow
with bread and butter the complacent
ignorance that can sit down and,
without an effort, produce such a lit
erary prodigy as the one we have
quoted, which we may say comes
from the San Antonio News.
The farmer must always bear in
mind that farming is not “incompat
ible with the cultivation of the intel
lectual faculties and the social affect
ions and tho amenities of polished
society;” that “unbroken monotony
produces ennui, discontent, lassitude
of mind and body” and that “monot
ony and ennui must (musty) he pre
vented at any cost.” Also there
should he—“there should he—a cro
quet ground, a croquet set for out
door pastime and exercises”—and
last hut by no means least “other
sports •should be indulged in.”
Now we feel sure the farmer, tho
“hayseed,” as he is usually designated
by the young men who
prepare the daily pabulum for the
readers of the city papers—will feel
very thankful for these suggestions,
and after reading them they will be in
the future still more lost in astonish
ment and admiration at the depth of
wisdom exhibited by these young
gentlemen and in the words of Rip
Van Winkle will wonder “how their
little heads stand it.”—The Truth.
Georgia had her Moses in’the St.
Louis convention but his rod did not
bud ncithor did lie lead the people out
of bondage. Unless he gets out of the
old party we predict that he will not
cross the red sea nor view the promise
land.—Populist.
Subscribo now for The Gazette
the official organ Banks county.