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RANG IK ÜBEBIY
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f’hotograph by Frank Fournier. Staff Photographer.
Beneath the banner of the free
We gather to our nation’s breast
The pilgrim and the refugee
By cruel destiny oppressed.
BOY’S POOR FOURTH
I
For Various Reasons Bobby
Didn’t Enjoy Day That Is
Meant to Be Enjoyed.
Declaration of Independence and Tea
Played a Part Last Year, But This
Year Youngster Has Deter
mined to Make Another
Declaration.
TILS' 3, 11:20 p. m.—Loag
!■ V past bedtime, and 1m aw-
SI ful. awful sleepy. Asked
SI Aunt Jane long ago If I
couldn't go to bed, so as
to be up early on the
Fourth, but Uncle Hab
akkuk he Just raised his eyebrows,
and Aunt Jane she said: ’’Pretty
soon, Bobby; keep awake a while
longer, dearie; then you can sleep
right through until breakfast time, and
the unseemly sounds which erroneous
ly are linked with the birth of our in
dependence”—this is a regular Aunt
Jane talk, this is—“will not disturb
your rest.” Hope they give me some
crackers tomorrow. They will, I guess
—not. What did pop send me up here
for, anyway?
July 4, 8:20 a. m.—Darn it! Slept
right through till breafast time, just
as Aunt Jane said I would. Looked
out the window and saw Uncle Habak
kuk. He was calling a boy down for
firing off a cap pistol just outside the
gate. I can see myself getting crack
ers out of him!
8:35 a. m. —What's this coming?
Aunt Jane just knocked on my door
and said it was high time we were cel
ebrating. Maybe they’ve got some fire
crackers for me, after all: a few' packs
of those unseemly sounds which are
enone-what-d’yer-call-it linked with
the birth of our independence would
come in mighty handy now. Told
Aunt Jane I’d be down in a second.
8:45 a. m. —Well, we’ve been cele
brating all right. We’d begin the day.
Aunt Jane said, with patriotic songs,
so we went in the parlor and Aunt
Jane sat down at the melodeon—pop
says he remembers that melodeon
when he was a boy. Aunt Jane sang
“America;” she and Uncle Habakkuk
duetted on “The Star Spangled Ban
ner,” and then they made me sing
that crazy song in our school book.
“How can —I serve —my coun —try
best? Is it by taking—sword in—h-h
--hand?” I could see a crowd gathering
outside the fence, and somebody threw
a lighted cannon cracker on the porch.
Also, it blew' six branches off the hon
eysuckle and made an awful unseemly'
sound.
9:ls— a. m.—Breakfast. After it was
over, Uncle Habakkuk kept me half
an hour at the table while he talked
about William Pitt’s part in parlia
ment’s repeal of the hated stamp act.
10 a. m. —Out on the front lawn.
Uncle Habakkuk read the Declaration
of Independence to Aunt Jane and me,
and Aunt Jane told me how once,
when she was a girl, she went to Fan
euil hall, Philadelphia, and saw the
very pen that Benjamin Hancock
wrote with when he wrote the words:
"By the infernal! The Union must
and shall be preserved!”
10:50 a. m.—Some boys down the
street set off four packs of giant
crackers in an old tin washboiler.
Uncle Habakkuk saw me looking at
them, so he said: “Bobby, come in
the house with me, I’ve something I
want to show you."
11:10 a. m.—Uncle Habakkuk has
been reading me some statistics he
calls them. They show that since the
Jftwth of July, 1776, there have been
1,605,443*6 fingers blown off by cele
brations, 863,401 eyes blackened, 5,-
300,062 eardrums ruined, and do you
think, Bobby, in the face of these elo
quent facts, it is wise to encourage
boys in such —er—pernicious folly?
No, sir; I —l guess not, sir. Sensible
lad! I thought you would agree with
me!
12:30 p. m. —Lunch; somehow I
hadn’t much of an appetite. When
Aunt Jane said I should take a nap
immediately after eating, I had less.
4:25 p. m. —W’ell, I’ve had my nap.
Once, when I was awful sick, they
gave me something or other to make
me sleep. Wish I had some here. I’d
take a pound of it. Say, but this is a
glorious Fourth.
5:30 p. m. —What do you s’pose I
found when I got downstairs again?
Three sticks of punk and a box of
safety matches. Aunt Jane said she’d
talked it over with Uncle Habakkuk,
and she didn’t think that a boy,
brought up as I had been, should be
deprived entirely of the amusements
he had been used to —This is more of
Aunt Jane kind of talk —so Uncle Hab
akkuk got the punk and the matches.
Yes, and I’ve been sitting on the porch
lighting matches with punk and punk
with matches for over an hour. May
be tonight, if I behave myself real
well, and don't make unseemly sounds,
Uncle Habakkuk ’ll let me throw his
cigar stump in the gutter and play it’s
a cannon cracker or a roman candle.
6:15 p. m.—Aunt Jane says we w'on’t
have tea tonight—only a bite on the
porch—out of respect for the patriots
who refused to drink it at the time of
the Boston tea caddy.
7:05 p. m.-—Asked Uncle Habakkuk
and Aunt Jane if I couldn’t go to the
town park and see the rockets. They
said no; I might be hit by a stick.
Ain’t it the limit?
8 p. m.—W'ell, we’ve had our bite,
and we’ve been singing, “Three Cheers
for the Red, White and Blue.” in the
parlor. Felt like cheering. I did.
8:50 p. m. —Aunt Jane read the Dec
laration of Independence. Her eye
sight’s bad and there was something
matter with the lamp, so it took her
’most an hour to read it. Uncle Hab
akkuk’s asleep in the shiny black arm
chair, making unseemly sounds w'ith
his nose. I can hear a whole lot of
unseemly sounds down at the town
park—bully ones.
9:15 p. m.—ln bed. I sneaked there
by myself. Uncle’s asleep yet. So’s
aunt. The parlor lamp went out ten
minutes ago. Next time pop wants
me to come up here for the Fourth,
I’ll read a Declaration of Independence
and bdat Benjamin Hancock’s declara
tion all to toothpicks!—Puck.
SAFE, SANE AND NOISELESS.
Oh, see the girl the flag unfurl!
The band plays "Yankee Doodle
Dandy."
Look out! that bomb wil! jar things
some.
No? Shucks! It’s only filled with
candy.
THE BARTOW TRIBUNE, JULY 2, 1914.
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PUBLIC SQUARE
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Tour
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Write for Booklet.
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