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fierald and Advertiser.
NEWNAM, FRIDAY, JAN. 22.
W H K N . IN 1) E K D !
Wh**n bedbugs in hotelH are fare*.
And tmlpol. H run uwallow live* v-hales;
Wbun sailors forget how to BWear,
And rabbitB arc outrun by dead snailr,.
When billy butt from the- rear.
Anil crocodiles flemt in the air:
When Dutchmen won’t drink lager beer.
And terrapin* grow curly hair.
When chicken feathers grow upon hogs.
And hickory trern thrive without bark;
When Thomas cats travel like frogs.
And (leas cart be caught in the dark.
halcyon tlayH, when the primeval for
ests teemed with trnme, and the tierce
; turkey cock assaulted the hunter, like
| the sweet singer of Israel who smote
the braggart of Gath, he did fine execu
tion on this biped who wears his mus
tache on his breast. Of his prowess as
a turkey hunter I may descant at
greater length in a future article,
: when I have obtained from his own
j lips the story of his life and adven
tures. I have it from an intimate
friend of Mr. Russell [that every time
1 he sent one of those he maleagridoids
ing feature about our gopher;—he is never sent tne a seed. If this “illus-
not bald-headed and hawk-nosed like | trious Georgian” will send me the seed
The Constitution’s old gopher. The go
pher, so the story goes, was brought
up from South Georgia by Mrs. Brad
ley, who has just returned from that
section.
and the Congressional Record I’ll write
him a speech on “Federal Abuses in
Our Insular I'osessions.”
—We are looking for the advent of
the millennium. Our folks are just too
wi»-
At
Wli.
Vii
Aim! u Kill
elers quit idling lies.
use loving line show:
, won’t oat pumpkin pie
on’t smile itt her beau.
When the mocking bird brays like the ass.
And the bullfrog sings Mke the lark:
When battleships are made of thin glass,
And "society” welcomes the “stork.”
When the ’possum grows hair on his tail,
An«l the polecat smells like cologne;
When Jonah again -'wallows the whale.
And the heart of all Dixians are stone.
Then our Pred lent-elect, hurdled out of the West,
With hi duplicate chin and bis half-acre of vest.
Will at Uin the gn end of his Presidential finest.
attended the Cooper-Wilson nuptials.
Miss Cooper, be it remembered, was
the popular guest of the Boykin family
last winter.
—Complimentary to her charming
to turkey heaven he clipped this mus- Kuest Mrg _ Roy BasH _ of Mexin> Te} -.,
Our Carrollton Correspondent
—Col. Bob Lowry, the famous Atlan
ta tallyhoist, has no longer a monopo
ly on this equestrian perambulator.
The old man hns made good in his day.
The scepter is departing from Judah,
llis seventy winters, while sitting as
lightly as may he, are heavy enough to
make him relax his grasp on the reins.
The younger fry must drive. The la
test acquisition to this town’s rolling j
stock is Bernard Bass’ tallyho. Tlint
it is a tangerine, you’ve only to see to
make u similar pronouncement. As an
introductory excursion to the coming
summer campaign, Mr. Bass, our local
“Beau Brummel,” (and an all-round
good fell low,) gave the following young
ladies and gentlemen a day’s outing in
the thriving suburb of Whitesburg:
Misses Pauline and Lucy Harris, Nell
Sharpe, and Messrs. Have Reese and
Jesse Travis. What they lacked of
having a good time isn’t worth men
tioning.
He dispenses his bounties like a
prince. lion. 1.. C. Mandeville dined
with the A. and M. pupils Wednesday,
lie encouraged a spelling bee at the
school, which will he pulled oil" in the
near future. To the pupil who does
tache from his bosom, and by this
means saved enough to fringe a dozen
counterpanes. When 1 began this ar^
tide it was not my purpose to mention
turkeys in connection with Mr. Russell,
hut to tell you of a cyclone that called
on him a few years ago. Here is the
! story as he told it to me: “It was
| about milking time in the afternoon.
The milk maid, an African mammy of
i TO, was down in the meadow milking
' my Jerseys. As she sat milking a cow
and giving the calf an occasional rap
on the shins to keep his nose out of the
hunch of udders, io! that frolicksome
ambulator of wind and clouds known
as a cyclone came cavorting athwart
the timber, and sans ceremony swooped
down and took milkmaid and the whole
hunch of heifers into its gyrating vor
tex. As mammy and her heifer were
being translated into the upper murky
atmosphere, she clung to the cow’s
teats like a logger-head turtle to a
nigger’s toe. Around and around the
giddy circle thev swung. The milk
maid, in the shufllc, was first on the
cow’s belly and then on her hack. By
some unaccountable means she bestrid-
ed the cow’s hack and seized her horns
as a dirigible steering gear. The fierce,
gyratory motion of the cyclone only
served to make her cling the tighter to
the cow-catcher. About this time the
procession was passing a hundred feet
above my house. I saw the cows and
woman playing leap-frog with each
other in the most reckless manner. For
a fat, bunchy old woman she rode her
cow like an abridged centaur. Though
j dazed with fear and apprehension for
| the safety of my family, could not re-
i frain from cheering the old wuman’s
Wild West show stunts. Finally the
| cyclone relaxed its grasp on its passen
gers, throwing some of them in Buford
| Sharp’s backyard and the remainder in
his cabbage orchard, except Mrs. John
cow, who were given
—Tuesday Dr. and Mrs. B. F. Boy- good to run on at the devil-catching
kin returned from Senoia, where they pace we have been making for a couple
of thousand years. Why. bless your
thirsty, hungry soul, your money won’t
buy what you want on Sunday. If it
would, and the minions of the law
knew it, they’d fling the man who sold
you your money’s worth into the
Chateau D’lf. Let your wings sprout
Mrs. B. F. Bass entertained a number
of friends at a sprightly domino party
Monday forenoon. An elegant salad
course was served after the play. Mrs.
B. F. Bass is a charming entertainer—
a fact acquiesced in by her numerous
friends and callers.
—Mrs. H. B. Lane, who was serious-
and grow to a body-conveying length;
we are too good even for the millennial
period.
Generalship of a Cat.
Rochester (N. Y.) Cat Journal.
The mastery of herself which a cat
shows when, having been caught in a
iy hurt some weeks ago by a moving j position from which there is no escape,
train at Tallapoosa, we are pleased t° I she Ca lmly sits down to face out the
note was able to be brought home Tues- threats of a dog, is a marvelous thing.
not lull till the last round he oilers
$10 gold-piece, and the next to the last | (Jilpin and he
$f> in gold. That’s the kind of encour-! n, e aea t of honor, astraddle of the
agement that counts. j comb, of his residence. By a strange
—Joe Gaston, one of Carroll's old freak ot fortune, when the cow lit on
Confederate veterans, died Tuesday, I the comb her feet on the right side
after a lingering illness, llis funeral went to one side of the roof, and those
was largely attended by his former
comrades-in-arms. The services were
held ut the Methodist church and a
beautiful tribute was paid him by his
pastor. It was disclosed from the min
ister’s remarks that he was one of Gen.
Forest’s escort; and many is the time
he followed his intrepid leader in his
charges upon superior numbers of the
enemy. His' remains were interred
on the left to the other, leaving cow
and rider in perfect perpendicularity
and equipoise. There they sat, immov
able as a weather vane in u calm, until
removed by a hastily improvised der
rick. Though a little belated, the cows
returned to the meadow, and, as usual,
each yielded her four gallons of rich,
creamy milk.” Mr. Russell’s affidavit,
as to the authenticity of the foregoing
here. The pall-bearers were the fol-I statement, is now on file in this office
lowing Confederate veterans: l)r. 11.
It. Robinson, (’apt. C. W. Worley, J. (’.
Russell, W. O. Perry, Bet Sharpe and
C. M. Speer.
—Lum Williams, a Henry county
friend, was here Thursday. He thinks
the metropolis of the Free State one of
the host towns north of the equator.
—Mr. Thos. Jones, of Whitesburg,
was in the city Tuesday.
lie lo. central! Give me George
Burnett’s residence. Is that you.
George? They tell me you’ve got a
new baby. A lino one, eh? Girl or
boy? Boy? When did he give you the
surprise party? Monday? Hope in a
few days he’ll be able to split stove-
wood and churn. Hamrick keeps cat
nip. Aurevoir!
‘‘It was not so in our grandmoth
er’s day.” Married folks didn’t think |
of dodging the God-given command,
“Multiply and replenish the earth.”
We observe many married people who j
are running race suicide at high pres- i
sure. One of these days, if things go
on as they are drifting, the sun will :
rise on a manless world. Then good
dollars wonTt buy drinks.
I desire to express my thanks to
. Mr. F. A. Weems for courtesies shown
! me at the K. P. festival during the
holidays.
—1 did not attend the Taft 'possum
supper, for a baker’s dozen of good
and sufficient reasons. First, because
they forgot to forward my invitation.
I’ll give you the other twelve some
time when my disappointment settles
—Jan. 19 all the banks were closed
in observance of Lee’s birthday.
“Great man; the nations gazed, won
dered much and praised,” and his ow.i
people set his name in the calendar of
heroes and honor his memory by mak
ing his natal day one of honorable fes
tivity.
—Mr. and Mrs. Chas. L. Walker had
as their guest Mrs. J. E. Skrine, of
Macon, mother of Mrs. Walker.
Mr. D. L. Cannon, of Atlanta, was
in the city Thursday.
—The Atlanta Constitution has for
years held a monopoly on the gopher
market of the South, but from recent
developments it is likely to find a sharp
competitor in Mr. M. M. Bradley of
day. She was accompanied by her
mother, Mrs. H. B. Morrow, who re
turned to Tallapoosa the following day.
—It was that poor, infinitesmal of
War, Cambonne. who defied the allied
armies of Europe, while they were
masacreing his comrades on Waterloo’s
bloodstained plain. They thundered
and vollied with infantry and artillery
on his devoted ranks until the pile of
dead outnumbered the living. When
finally summoned to surrender, he defi
antly shouted to the victors, "Merde!”
Cambonne was grand. But here are
we, who boast of liberty in a land made
free from the oppression of crowned
despots by the blood of patriots, who
permit ourselves corralled “like dumb
driven cattle,” and are forbidden, un
der penalties, to open a drug store on
Sunday for the sale of such things as
we need. This is a despotism more
galling than being bossed by three
wives! What we want is more liberty
and less lashing. Vale, wine cup,
schooner, candlecup! All hail despot
ism, the gallies and slavery !
-Mrs. S. P. Coalson, that charming
hostess who so well knows how to
make one feel at home, entertained at
spend-the-night seance Saturday
night. Those honored as guests were
Mademoiselle Pearl and Clyde Camp
bell and Ethel Carroll.
—Will Fitts left Sunday for Missis
sippi, where he goes to accept a situa
tion. If the chills, fever and the
sharp-billed mosquito do not prove too
many for his constitution, he is likely
to grow up with the country.
— After a week or ten-days’ illness,
we are pleased to note the recovery of
Mrs. Sidney Holderness.
—The chitterling season is on ; the
succulent hogfat is soused ; the supe
rior and inferior maxillary of Dom
Porcelian are seething in the pot of
turnip greens, and Will Gaston and
Mrs. W. B. Garrity came down Sunday
to get their per centage of these “niig-
gets.”
—It is scarcely worth while to
enumerate the gross of virtues that
Allen Bedingfield has laid away on
cold storage. But when it is made to
appear that he is constantly going to
Atlanta, (at least twice a year,) then
one begins to cast about for reasons.
It is known that these primary virtues
embarrass his reputation like the horns
of a snail. He is a prohi; he is a mar
ried man of the Joseph type; he is in
nocent of the “pasteboards”—in fact,
he does not know cards from spades.
He eschews cotton futures as the bu
bonic plague. Then what is it that is
constantly tearing him from the bosom
of his Carrollton friends? Mike Flynn
has thrown some light on the subject.
He says Mr. Bedingfield has made a
spiritual alliance with the Catholic
church. Perhaps he goes to get
drink of holy water, and have Father
Gunn rub off his sins. His conduct is
right pestering, hut it is to he hoped
the fulness of time will make plain his
ways that now seem dark.
Everybody has seen a kitten on a
street doorstep, attacked by a dog ten
times her size, as apparently self-pos
sessed as if she were in her mistress’
lap. If she turn tail and runs down
the street she is lost; the dog will
have a sure advantage of her. Even
as it is, if he could get up courage
enough to seize her on the spot, he
would be able to make short work of
her. “You dare not touch me, and you
know it!” is what her position tells
the dog.
But she is intensely on her guard, in
spite of the air of perfect content. Her
legs, concealed under her fur, are
ready for a spring. Her claws are un
sheathed. Her eyes never move an in
stant from the dog as he bounds wildly
from side to side, barking with comical
fury. Those glittering eys of hers fol
low him with the keenest scrutiny. If
he plucks up his courage she is ready ;
she will sell her life dearly. She is
watching her chance, and she does not
miss it.
The dog tries Fabian tactics, and
withdraws a few feet, settling down
and upon his forepaws. Just then the
sound of a dog’s bark in the next street
attracts his eyes and ears for a mo
ment and when he looks back the kit
ten is gone ! He looks down the street
and starts wildly in that direction, and
reaches a high board fence just as a
cat’s tail—a monstrous tail for such a
ltitle cat—is vanishing over the top of
it. He is beaten. The cat showed not
only more courage than he had, but a
great deal more generalship.
When Rubbers Become Necessary.
And your shoes pinch, Allen’s Foot-
Ease, a powder to be shaken into the
shoes, is just the thing to use. Try it
for breaking in new shoes. Sold every
where, 25c. Sample free. Address,
Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y. Don’t
accept any substitute.
1 this place, who has added to his aviary
j
-He who has lived to this day in this sweet singer from the South. Both
Carroll and does not know Mose Rus- of our local papers are anxious to pro
sell, has lived to little purpose. Mose duee him hand me-down clothes, af-
is a conservative narrator of facts, and I ter the manner of The Constitution’s
his figures are always correct. In the gopher pictures. There is one redeem-
Baking Powder
^/Ibsohutely Turc
The Only Baking Powder
made from
Reval Grape Cream of Tartar
—Made from Grapes—
A Guarantee of Pure,
Healthful, Delicious Food
— Unfortunately for us, I have
physiophical or literary court to settle
mooted questions that arise among the
masses. At this juncture our folks are
wrestling with a series of questions
which are more or less difficult of solu
tion. We draw the line, however, on
“How Old Was Ann?” As a kind of
organized system of referees we appeal
to our several clubs and societies to
unravel these little Gordian knots, to
wit: The Lit Mu, the Domino Club
the Willing Workers, the Commercial
Club, Board of Trade, the Water and
Light Commission and the City Coun
cil. 1st. What is a six-months’-old swine
—a pig or hog? 2d. When drawing a
cart, does the animal push or pull? 3d.
When does a phial become a bottle?
4th, Who deserves most credit—Colum
bus for discovering America, or Wash
ington for driving John Bull out ot it?
5th. Which of these worthies de
serves to be Sweet Mary’s man—Mr.
Traekwell, Mr. Divewell or Mr. Cure-
well? Mary was lost. Mr. Traekwell
followed her footprints to the river’s
brink; Mr. Divewell dived for and res
cued her from a watery pallet; Mr.
Curewell, by his manipulations, re
stored her to consciousness. Let the
people speak and give their opinions.
—It is a known fact that I am the
best vegetable-raising artist in my dig-
gins, yet Senator Clay and his co
worker in Washington iniquity have
Lloyd George*was addressing a meet
ing in Wales, and his chairman said:
“I haff to introduce you to the members
of the Carnarvon Broughs. He hass
come here to reply to what the Bishop
of St. Asaph said the other night about
Welsh Disestablishment. in my
opinion, gentlemen, the Bishop of St.
Asaph is one of the biggist liars in
creashon but he hass his match in
Lloyd George 1”
We Sell
YtHbl
on the positive guarantee
that if it does not give sat
isfaction we will return the
entire amount of money paid
us for it.
We ask all those who are
run-down, nervous, debili
tated, aged or weak, and
every person suffering from
stubborn colds, hanging-on
coughs, bronchitis or incipi
ent consumption to try Vinol
with this understanding.
HOLT & CATES CO.. Newnan. Ga.
Atlanta and West Point
RAILROAD COMPANY
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE
OF TRAINS AT NEWNAN.GA.
No. 34
No. *42
No. 144
No. 38
No. 40.
No. 17.
No. 41
No. 37
No. N
. 6:45 a. m.
. 7:3ft a. m.
. 9:03 a. m.
.10:40 a. m.
. 3:2ft p. m.
6:40 p. m.
. 5:32 p.m.
6:4ft a. in.
. 8:27 a. in.
. 9:33 a. in.
12 :2S p. m.
. 5 :12 p. m.
7 :i0 p. m.
6 :23 p. m.
10:40 p. m.
+Sunday only. ‘Daily except Sun
day. All other trains daily. Odd
numbers, southbound: even num
bers. northbound.
For _
Lameness
in Horses
Much of the chronic lameness in horses is due to neglect.
See that your horse is not allowed to go lame. Keep Sloan s
Liniment on hand and apply at the first signs of stiffness.
It’s wonderfully penetrating—goes right to the spot—relieves
the soreness — limbers up the joints and makes the muscles
elastic and pliant.
Sloan’s Liniment
will kill a spavin, curb or splint, reduce wind puffs and swol
len joints, and is a sure and speedy remedy for fistula, sweeney,
founder and thrush. Price, 5 0C> anc l $i.oo.
Dr. Earl S. Sloan, - - Boston, Mass.
Sloan’s book on horses, cattle, sheep anti poultry sent free.
No Land So Rich That Fertilizer
Cannot Make It Better
You use fertilizers for the profit you get out of them—and the
better the land the more profitably a good fertilizer can be used on it.
Do not imagine because land will produce a fair crop without
Virginia-Carolina
Fertilizers
that these fertilizers cannot be profitably used on it, or that they were
made only for land too poor to produce without them. If poor land
will show a normal increase when fertilizer is used, good land will
show at least double the increase. Use Virginia-Carqlina Fertilizers
to increase the quality, as well as the quantity of the crop and you
will increase the profits from your land.
“I have been using your fertilizers for a number of years” says
Mr William Frairer, of Glasburg, La.fundfind that it not only pays
to fertilise, but to do plenty of it, and use the best fertilisers to be
had, such as your brands. I have used a number of them and found
them to be as recommended and to give better results than any other
fertilizers that I have ever used.”
Every planter and farmer should have a copy of the new 1009
Virginia-Carolina Farmers’ Year-Book. Get a free copy from your
fertilizer dealer, or write our nearest sales office.
Virginia-Carolina Chemical Co.
Sates Offices Salcs °$“ s
Vi' a ’ Charleston. S.C.
Columbia, s. c. Baltimore, Md.
Memphis h ,’Tenn. Shreveport, La.
H. C. Arnall Merchandise Company
Below will be found a few articles we keep
in stock at all times, at lowest prices.
Finck’s Detroit Overalls.
“White Hickory” Wagons.
"White Star” Buggies.
Nox-All Hats.
Gotham Hats.
"Kant-Be-Beat” Clothing.
Chattanooga Plows.
"Arnall’s Cotton Bloom” Tobacco.
“Square and Honest” Tobacco.
"Full Bloom" Tobacco.
Majestic Flour.
"White Satin” Flour.
"Full Bloom” Flour.
Texas Rust-Proof Oats.
We now have the agency for the celebrated Chatta
nooga Plows, heretofore sold by the
Bradlev-Banks Co.
H. C. Arnall Merchandise Company
R. D. COLE MANUFACIIR1N0 CO.
ESTABLISHED 1854.
Building material of every description, moderately
priced.
Engines, Boilers. Corn Mills and Saw Mills.
Tanks, Stand-pipes, Towers and Tanks—any shape,
any capacity, for any purpose, erected anywhere.
Full and complete stock Mill Supplies and Belting.
Estimates cheerfully furnished. Inquiries solicited,
and will receive immediate attention.
R. D.Cole ManufacturingCo
49-57 E. Broad St., Newnan, Ga. ’Phone 14.
CENTRAL OF GEORGIA RAILWAY CO.
CURRENT SCHEDULES.
ARRIVE FROM
Griffin 11:10 A.M. 7:17 P. m.
Chattanooga 1:40 p. M.
Cedartown, ex. Sun 6:39 A.M.
Cedartown, Sun.on!y7:27 A. M.
Columbus 9:05 A.M. 6:3.5 p.m.
DEHART FOR
Griffin 1:40 P.M.
Griffin, ex. Sunday 6:39 a.m.
Griffin, Sunday only 7:27 A. si.
Chattanooga 11 :l0 A. m.
Cedartown 7:17 p.m.
i Columbus 7:40 A.M. 5:15 p. M