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i fitrald and JMwm$crT" WHAT IS * ,0KE? It Is a Serious Business to the Man NEWNAN, FRIDAY, OCT. 22. Who Concocts It. Senoia Notes. Senoia Enterpriae-Gazette, 14th inat. Dr. A. J. Mann, of Alvaton, has been quite sick for several days from ner vous prostration and an enlarged liver. It is reported that Mrs. Florence Watts has rented a residence and will return to our town to reside in the fu ture. Mr. J. Shelly Huddleston has pur chased the residence of Mr. J. W. Story, and expects to occupy [same next week. Mr. J. R. Cotton andiMrs. Pope Bo hannon, of Grantville, were guests of relatives here the latter part of the week. Mrs. C. A. Greene, after spending several days with the family of Mr. E. H. Powers, has returned to her home in Atlanta. Mrs. Geo. E. Nolan, who has'been spending several months with her pa rents, Hon. and Mrs. M. H. Couch, leaves to-day for her home at Orlando, Fla. Mrs. R. A. Jones and little daughter, after spending some time here as the guests of Mrs. J. H. Jones, have return ed to their home at Nashville, Tenn. Her many friends will be glad ,to learn that Mrs. J. C. Arnall, who is under treatment at Dr. Noble’s sanitarium in Atlanta, is improving and was able to sit up yesterday. Mrs. J. Gilbert Bedenbaugh and little son, of Atlanta, are spending some time with Mr. L. W. P. Bedenbaugh. Gil bert, who was hurt in a recent wreck on the A., B. & A. railroad, was able to return to work Sunday. Messrs. W. L. Cole & Son are quite busy building houses these days. They will look after the erection of Mr. C. F. Hollberg’s new store-house at this place, and have also contracted to build the new bank building at Gay. They have other contracts in view and it now seems they will be rushed for a while. What came near being a serious ac cident happened last Friday evening about sundown when Mr. Ben McKnight was riding a bicycle down the side walk in front of L. L. Hutchinson’s new home and struck little Everett Hardy. The little fellow was in a serious condition for a short while, but was soon himself again. The fourth quarterly meeting was held at the Methodist church last Sat urday afternoon and there was a very good attendance of the official members. The financial reports were good, and by the close of the year it is thought all the obligations will have been met. The year’s work has been very success ful, and shows that Pastor Jones has served his people faithfully and well, Mr. R. M. North was re-elected super intendent of the Sunday-school, and Mr. A. O. Baggarly was added to the list of stewards to succeed Mr. J. H. Reid, who resigned. Rev. J. H. Eakes preached an able sermon Sunday morn- ing. At the close of a most excellent and touching sermon at Ebenezer Sunday by Rev. I. W. Keithlev, of Fayetteville, Miss Dallas Moore, of Oak Grove, and Mr. Alex Padgett, of Woolsey, were happily married. The bride is the eldest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. F. Moore, and is of a sunny disposition, and will make an ideal companion for the man who has been so fortunate as to win her for his wife. Mr. Padgett is a prosperous young farmer of Woolsey, and an honest, energetic young man. After the ceremony a few special friends and relatives enjoyed an elegant dinner at the home of the bride’s parents. Perhaps one of the largest contracts ever awarded to any Senoia concern has been recently closed by the Long Blue Granite Co. The contract referred to is with the Atlanta, Birmingham and At lantic railroad, the Long Blue Granite Co. agreeing to crush for the railroad all the surplus stone from their immense quarry, which they hope to have in op eration in the near future. The grad ing for the sidetrack is nearing com pletion. The stone-crusher which they will soon install will have a capacity of eight or ten car-loads of crushed stone per day. The crushed stone is to be used for ballasting the road-bed on this first-class railroad. Mr. Etheredge, who is managing the business here for the present, is a courteous, accommodating man. and believes in doing the right thing by all concerned. The company’s pay-roll is between $300 and $400 per week, and we understand will be mate rially increased when the business gets fully in operation. Peary’s Highfaluting Nonsense. Philadelphia Record. An ocean over 15,000 fathoms deep and more than 400 miles from the near est land is not a “region” of which an explorer can take possession’in the name of the United States nor any other sovereignty. Peary’s alleged dispatch to the State Department announcing that he had hoisted the Stars and Stripes ■“on” the pole and “formally” taken possession of “that entire region and adjacent territory for and’in the name of the President of the United States, ” is so foolishly theatrical that one is inclined to doubt the authenticity there of. Peary's reported soundings show that the borealcenter is covered by the high sea, andthe world’s ocean can be long to no nation. One may forgive a successful pole-hunter a little hyber- bole about having “nailedthe flag” to his goal; butto claim possession of the unclaimable in a dispatch purporting to be a sober officiate ommunication to the Government is highfaluting non sense. John Smith had worked for the cor poration for forty-two years and de cided to quit. The company, in con sideration of his long and faithful ser vice, arranged to give him a monetary recognition. The superintendent of the works, a German and an extra good mechanic, was asked to present it. He was advised to use a little sentiment in making the presentation speech, and this is the way he did it: “John, you haff worked for the com pany over forty years?” “Yes. ” “You are going to quit?” “Yes.” “Veil! They are so tam glad of it that they asked me to hand you this hundred dollars. ’ ’ The architect naturally likes to have the girl he loves help him make plans for the future. “There’s one thing i thought I knew, but find 1 don’t know,’’ said Tommy. “What is a Joke?" Father pricked up his ears, us It were. "A joke," he said slowly, "Is something its maker thinks is funny, but nobody else does.” “That explains it then. Today I said an awful quaint thing. Mother had a lot of women here, and they talked about clothes. 1 said: ‘A woman’s mind Is always on clothes. When she ain’t talking through her hat she’s laughing up her sleeve.’ But no one laughed, nud I read that oue too. Tell me a joke.” ”lf 1 were to say when l came home from visiting the cemetery that 1 had returned from the dead, that would be a joke.” “Is that a practical joke?” "It is not. It’s a grave joke.” "What’s a practical joke?” “If yoar mother just before going out shopping nsked for mouey and I gave her all she wanted.” “Do you like practical Jokes?" “Not wheu they’re us practical as that.” “Does every one like jokes?” “Few people do. Most think it is more blessed to give than to receive." “Then people enu’t take a joke?" “There are some who cau’t. Editors, for instance, rarely take a joke.” “Does any one make money from the writing of jokes?” “Only the papermakers and the post al department of the government.” “Must a joke be tunny to be a joke?" “Few are.” "Then some are serious?” “Not exactly. But if yon refer to a sexton as a man of grave cares some might think you intended to be jocu lar.” “Is a pun like a joke?" “Nothing at all. A man who makes a joke is an idiot, whereas a umn who makes a pun is a criminal.” “Then the man who writes what he thinks are jokes is a funny fellow?” “No; it is a serious business with him.” “lie has his ups and downs, then?" “Yes. He gets up courage to write to editors aud gets turned down by them.” “You’re not referring to the man who writes the column in the papers every day? Surely life is one joke with him.” “No, it isn’t. Ho thinks he’s a hu morist, but lie’s a papsimist. He’d rather be a hodcarrier.” “Why, does a hodcarrier make more money ?” “Well, he has a habit of climbing and often goes higher. Besides, the out door work is healthier.” “Isn’t joke writing healthy?” “Not when you’re caught at it.” “Gan a man write Jokes and still be a gentleman?” “You forget, Tommy, that our re marks are Intended for publication and that I have many friends who write. Besides, J sometimes get off a joke or two myself.” — Philadelphia Ledger. The One Who Knew. “Elijah,” said the judge to the de fendant, “you have had a fair trial. The prosecuting attorney has shown by circumstantial evidence that can not be gainsaid that you were in Mr. Brown’s chicken coop on the night that his hens disappeared, and your at torney in his speech has practically admitted that the theory of the prose cution is true. Have you anything to say before the court pronounces its decision ?” "Jedge,” said Elijah, rising politely, “all I’s got to say is dis. 1 don’t know much about de law, hut 1 does know heahsay evumdenco isn’t good, an’ all dese lawyehs says is heahsay. I oughter know, fob I uz de only man in that chicken coop dat night, an’ I’s denied, it might erlong."—Chicago Post. An Apology? A London journal says that a lively discussion once took place in a town council in the north of England. One thing led to another till one of the disputants gave another the lie direct. The Insulted party rushed forward, and the pair clinched. At that mo ment the first man exclaimed, “I re iterate that you are a liar!” To the astonishment of every one, the aggriev ed party let go his hold. "Oh, well,” he said, “in that case I accept the apology. If a man says he reiterates, that is all any gentleman can ask.” ne did not understand why the bystand ers laughed, but the fight was off. Anything to Oblige. While crossing the ocean the two sprightly children of very seasick par ents were scampering around the deck. “Tom, dear,” snid the mother in n weary voice, “the children are too near the railing." But he was too ill to no tice, and in sheer desperation his wife nudged him on the arm. “Speak to them, Tom,” she said faintly. With a wan smile he lifted his head and said, “Eh—how do you do?”—Lu- dies’ Home Journal. Village Gossip. “Is Squire Whetstone considerate of dumb animals?” “I don’t know how he treats ’em,” answered Si Simling, “but he certain ly speaks mighty kind of ’em when he’s engineerin’ a boss Lade.”—Wash ington Star. Hilarious. Clarence—I'm going to ask old Vava sour for his daughter’s band. What’s a good way to begin? Algy—Oh. spring a few other jokes on him first and see how he takes them!—Exchange. Despotism may govern without faith, but liberty cannot—De Tocqueville. TREES IN HOLLAND. All Streets and Canals Bordered With Elms or Lindens. The average Dutch town is an at tractive place in the summer months, since practically every street and canal is bordered with shade trees, which shut out the glare of the suu and offer cool and Inviting avenues for the ex ploration of the tourist. The banks of these canals are generally terraced in two levels—the lower one for ware houses and the upper for shops or dwellings, but each elevation is plant ed with trees. At best a city is an exceedingly poor location for tree culture. Narrow streets, with tall buildings, exclude the life giving sunlight; asphalt or closely paved walks prevent the necessary moisture from sinking into the ground nnd nourishing thirsty roots, and leak age from the gas mains is a deadly poison to all vegetation. For this rea son care should be exercised in the selection of the variety of trees for street planting in order to get the best results. In Holland time lias demon strated that the elm and linden should be placed in the first rank, for there are many examples of these species in Dutch towns which have withstood the ravages of more than two cen turies. The elm appears to be the hardier of these two trees and will live under most adverse conditions. The Dutch municipalities expend large sums each yenr for the preserva tion of their shade trees, but the re sults amply justify the cost for main tenance.—Harper’s Weekly. A MARRIAGE NOTICE. The Modern One Sounded Quite Grand to the Old Lady. Old Lady Goodyear laid down the paper with a sigh and looked over her spectacles at Grandfather Goodyear. “I feel quite ashamed when 1 remem ber our bumble marriage notice,” she said. “ ‘Married, in the First Congregation al church of Harborville, Abel Good year to Mary Lawtou,’ ” cbnnted Grandfather Goodyear. “It read well, to my thinking.” “Yes, for those days, but not: for present times,” said his old wife. “You know, Auastnsiu Cumming’s daughter Laura married a Toby, and their daughter has just married Sophy Leavitt’s grandson. His mother, So phy's child, married a Wilson.” “Well, what of all that?” inquired Grandfather Goodyear, rubbing his forehead in great confusion of mind. “It’s the fashiou to keep all the fam ily names,” suid Old Lady Goodyear, severely. “You hear how grand it sounds: “ ‘Married, at the home of the bride’s mother, Mrs. Frederick Cummings- Toby, by Rev. Harold Lowden IClrk- brlght, Edith Srnythe Cummings to George Brouue Leavitt-Wiison.’ “Now, there’s something for old Grandpa Broune and Grandma Srnythe to be proud of—if they were alive.” “M’m!” said Grandfather Goodyear. —Youth’s Companion. His Condolence. An English lord used to tell a story of a sheriff substitute he once knew slightly. Although he was a very religious man, the sheriff had his faults, and one of these was that ho had a habit of using strong language without re alizing what his words implied. The sheriff's best friend was the minister of the parish, and a great misfortune befell the reverend gentleman by the death of his wife. The sheriff wished to express his sympathy, but he found himself quite at a loss to know what to say. ITo sat for a long time scratching his head and puzzling himself to know wliul ho could say to the minister. At last lie blurted out “Well, minister, this is a d—1 of a business.”—London Express. Moon Worship In China. The fete of the moon is celebrated In China in the eighth mouth of the year, and this lasts six days. Presents are then made on which the figure of the moon is apparent, and a large pagoda is illuminated. Firecrackers aud mu sic and family reunions prevail. A midnight banquet on the last night ter minates the feast, and then the de scent of the goddess of the moon, which we call the man in the moon, is awaited. She is supposed to visit the earth at this time to grant the wishes of mortals. The moon with the Chi nese is the patroness of poetry, aud autumn is the poet’s favorite season. Lika a Mental Moving Picture. Baker—People who have been near drowning say that in an Instant all the events of their past lives are presented to their mental vision. Barker—I don’t believe it Baker—Why not? Barker —If it were true they wouldn’t allow themselves to be rescued.—Life. Tha Advantage. Phyllis—I suppose Kenneth’s marry ing you depends on what your father finds out about him. Mildred—Yes, partially, and partially what he finds lout about papa. Fortunately, papa has the advantage of experience.—Vogue. Finance. Visitor—Why are you naughty so much of the time? Bobby-Mamma gives me a nickel every time I promise to be good, and she never wants me to promise to be good unless I’m naughty.—Cleveland Leader. Elevator Etiquette. “Do you think a man ought to take off his hat in an elevator when there are ladies present?” “Not If he is prematurely bald and the ladies are young.’’—Chicago Rec ord-Herald. The Men’s Protest. Slutc Journal. It is reported that there is a move ment forming among the men in the East to express a forcible protest I against the women playing so much at cards. We understand that this move ment is altruistic in its character, and that the solicitude of the men is large ly directed toward the welfare of the women. While the men, as a general thing, feel the weariness of a wifeless home, they are quite willing to forego their own griefs if they could only fool that it was well with their wives. This, however, they are not so sure Newnan Hardware Co. Long-handled Strapped Ferruled rianure Forks about. They have a strong suspicion that, the exciting game affects the nerves, and especially those house-keep ing nerves that make the love of duty, the sweetness of temper ami the con tentment of mind pregnant within the household; and how easily t hese, dis placed, let in a hundred ills that afreet the body and soul. It is these fears, and not the smileless house and a cold 4- tine Forks, 50c. 5- tine Forks, GOc. (i-tine Forks, 75c. Long-lmndled round-point Shovels, 50c., 75c. and $1. Diaston’s Hand Saws, $1.05 and up. Lanterns, 50c. and un—the best made. Hunting Coats, $1.50 and up. Our line of Cooking Stoves and Ranges can’t bo beat anywhere. We guarantee every stove we sell. All we want is a trial order. We carry Heating Stoves from $2.25 up to as hi^h as you want them. Our line of Rocket and Table Cutlery is complete. Come to see us. snack in the kitchen, that have instiga ted the men to organize to protect some of their rights. Gov. Harris, of Ohio, said in an af ter dinner speech in Columbus: “This is a serious matter, and it must he taken seriously. Haste is a bad thing. It nearly always causes er ror. “I used to know a manufacturer. He was a good, honest man, but rather strict, rather close. Furthermore, he was inclined to be a little hasty. “He had instituted in his mill a sys tem of fines -fines for lateness, fines for spoiled work, and so on. “Well, in the rush season, happening to awake one morning very early, he went to the mill a little after starting time. As he got out of his automobile he saw a pale, haggard, hollow-eyed man walking wearily through the gate. “ ‘Aha, Joe Harris,’ he shouted an grily, ‘ten minutes late, eh? Well, you’re fined 15 cents. Not a word now. That’s the rule.’ “ ‘Take yer time, boss,’ Harris an swered. ‘I ain’t knocked off from yes terday yet.’ ” A duck which faithfully stuck to her business during the summer and laid several dozen of large fawn-colored eggs complained that she wasn’t appre ciated. “See that hen over there,’’ said the duck; “shehasn’t laid as many eggs as I have, nor as big, hut she has books written about her and verses composed in her honor, while nobody is saying a word about me.” “The trouble with you is,” said the wise rooster that was standing near, “that you don’t tell the public what you have done. You lay an egg and waddle ofr without saying a word, but that sister of mine never lays one without letting everyone in the neighborhood know about it. If you want to cut any ice in this community you must learn to ad vertise. ” Newnan Hardware Co., GREENVILLE STREET, Telephone 148. When the Children go to School You have a feeling of secur ity if there are telephones in the community. As a means of protection the telephone is of inestima ble value in rural districts, in widely separated dis tricts neighbors can communicate quickly with each other and with the nearest town. Under the plan of the Bell System any farmer can secure telephone service at low cost. For information write to nearest Bell Tele phone Manager, or address Farmers’ Line Department SOUTHERN BEI L TELEPHONE AM) TELEGRAPH CO. SOUTH PHYGK STREET. ATLANTA, CA. When the physician arrived at the designated house he found that his patient was a decrepit old negro, who sat up in bed and inquired: “How much yo’ charge, doctah?” “Two dollars a visit, which includes my time, experience, advice and the medicine. ” “A poor old coon like me don’t need all dem extras; just gib me 10 cents’ wo’th o’ yo’ cough medicine and dat’s enough fu’ me!” Many a true word hai been spoken regardless of grammar. Court Calendar. COWETA CIRCUIT. R. W. Freeman, Judge; .1. Render Terrell, So licitor-General. Meriwether—Third Mondays In February and August. Coweta—First Mondays in March and Septem ber. Heard-Third Mondays in March and Septem ber. Carroll—First Mondays in April and October. Troup—First Mandays in May and November. CITY COURT OF NEWNAN. A. D. Frcemau, Judge ; W. L. Stallings, Solic. itor. Quarterly term meets third Mondays in Janu- aiy, April, July aud October. BANKRUPTCY COURT. R. O. Jones, Newnan, Ua., Referee in Bank ruptcy for counties of Coweta, Troup, Heard, Meriwether, Carroll, Douglas aud Haralson. All kinds of job work done with neatness and dispatch at this office. FOLEYS KLDNEYPHLS Fon Baghachc Kioncvs.no Blaooeq ^ If you are indebted to The Herald and Advertiser for subieription settle up.