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GALLAHER S INDEPENDENT,
I'UBUSHED EVERY SATURDAY AT
HUITMAN, UA.,
BY
J. C. GALLAHER.
TERMS OF SriISCHIPTIOX l
TH’O DOLLARS per Annum in Ailmmce.
THE DUKE S ESCAPE.
A TRADITION OF BADEN.
berk Yanknimcr sat l>y liin cottage door
It the forest near linden, loudly engaged
111 furbishing up Mi old Uniform, when he
luard the report of firearms and the clash
bf swords in the distance. His military
ardor - for he Was a veteran who had serv
ed with honor in the armies of stout John
Wolfgang, Duke of ISaden—was aroused
by the sound; and he hastened into his
Cottage to procure his good broadsword
Khd aid the party assailed.
A man dashed in at tne open door,
Weathlesa from his rapid flight, and sank
exhausted into a chair. He was a young
man of noble presence, and wore the rich
uniform of a hussar officer. But his face
was pale, and his (lelisse torn and bloody.
He hail evidently been wounded, and had
with difficulty escaped from his assailants.
“If you are a man,” he gasped, “see not
your fellow-creature butchered." He rose
and glanced through the door. “I have
eaoftjMsl them," he continued, more calmly.
“Why didn’t yon wait until I came up ?”
cried the veteran, flourishing his sword
vigorously. “I would have shown yon all
the backsword play of the Heavy Alsa
tians,’ such ns we practiced under old
John. A scratch on the arm,” he contni
ncd, with solicitude, as he perceived that
the fugitive was wounded. “Here's a
shawl of my daughter’s.” He skilfully
IxMind it nronud the wound, to stop the
effusion of blood. “And here’s a small
drop of brandy,” bringing a flask from his
cnpboard, “but it's better than all tlio
doctor’s stuff in the world.”
The young man, who had again sunk
into a chair, apparently faiut from the loss
of blood, was visibly affected by these of
fices of kindness.
“This act, I promise you, shall not go
unrewarded," he exclaimed. “When you
kuow me—”
“I know enough of you," the old soldier
broke iu, bluntly; “you are in dauger; nnd
wlieu you know me, you'll trust me—old
John trusted uie. When Oeik Yankromer
says a thing—”
The young man started, ns if the name
struck unpleasantly upon his ear, and
pulled his hat over his brow.
“Yaiikramer!” he murmured.
“Yes,” answered the veteran, intent up
on his memories of the past, and not ob
serving the other's emotion. “I say when
( K‘lk Vankratner says a thing, you need
Hot think you are dealing with the young
duke. Now I hate prying into other peo- .
pie’s affairs; but I wifi lay my life you have
offended that I’rince, and he, being too
great a coward to demand satisfaction,
sent those fellows to murder you in the I
woods.”
His guest was by no means pleased to
hear these words.
“I —you—on the contrary, he is my best
friend,” he stammered, confusedly.
“But, my g<snl sir,” continued Vaukrn
mcr, with an old soldier’s obstinacy, “will
any thing short of that account for there
being eut-throats in the woods, which
from time out of mind, lias been us ipiiet
ns paradise ? I'll wager my sword here
he had a lmud iu it.”
“You —you have cause to think tints?”
asked the fugitive, suspiciously.
‘•Cause!” answered Vankmmer. “Of
why, in common with others, I rnysolf
have no complaint against him. To be
mho, I served in about fifteen campaigns
with hi* father. I was called his shadow;
tint then, I had luy rewards. I was pro
moted to lead the Alsatian dragoons, and
he gave me, at my own request, his old
uniform as a token of regard.”
“I —I remember it,” said the young of
ficer glancing at the uniform which the
veteran proudly displayed.
“Do you ?” cried Vankramer, delight
edly. “Then yon must know they are the
very coat, hat and boots in which he com
manded the ImjK*rialists in 1757, and beat
the Bavarians near the Mulda. ”
“If I am right,” said the young officer,
"he was too poor to pension you, but gave
you a home in the palace. Whs it. dis
creet in you to leave it for such wretched
ness as this ?”
He took a contemptuous survey of the
Gamble dwelling as he spoke.
“Why, t staid as lc<**g as X could, and
was Very happy,” answered Vankramer, in
his blunt, honest way, “until Duke
Charles brought homo that Chevalier lie
picked up in Italy; then every thing was
turned topsy-turvy, and order and discip
line were turned out, anti a regiment of
guzzling, fiddling, yelping, lean kind
of I’haraoli marched in. I thoujdrt if I
stopped and looted on, old Duke John’s
ghost would some night rap me Over the
bond with Mr skeleton knuckles."
•‘But it is possible you may bn induced
to return," suggested Ms gnest.
Vankramer shook hi bead negatively/
“Beturn !” he echoed, disdainfully.—
“No, no; I told tire duke my mind rather
too plainly for him to-lmVe me buck; be
sides, could 1 bo comfortable in a place
that’s- like a snttler’s tent on a pay-day ?
Old Wife .John was always doing soiue
tldsg for his peopleV good, or setting
them a good example;'he was always abed
at ten o’clock; this fellow sits np'the whole
night to lie on a sofa the whole day.—
Then there’s all my old companions gone
—the chairs, the tables, dogs, liveries—
all around out for something new. Why,
Jje-has even turned out his ancestors from
the gallerv to make room for a lot of naked
women that lie calls the graces. Precious
little grace about them, I slsould say, to go
(sallal)cr's imVpemVnt
VOL. 11.
without their clothes. To buy all these
gimeracks, he has taxed the people more
than they can pay; and what’s the conse
quence ? Hebelliou is on foot.”
“Rebellion!" cried the young officer,
incredulously.
“Rebellion, sir,” repeated Yaiikramer,
decidedly. “Now, sir, if you are his friend,
run to the palace, walk into his room,
sliout into his ear that his old house is
toppling; he has caused it by forsaking the
footsteps of his father. If he disbelieves,
I’ll lend him my old clothes; let him go
among his subjects and see mid hear.”
The young officer was visibly moved by
the old soldier's words, but the reply he
would have made was checked by the
sudden appearance of a girl, some eigh
teen years of age, who bounded lightly
across the threshold, threw herself into
the old soldier’s amis, and exclaimed,
tearfully, “My father!"
Kstclle Yaiikramer was one of thse love
ly flowers that spring from a low ly soil.
Her figure was slight, bnt exquisitely pro
portioned. Her face was of classic cou
! tour, and the light of virtue and amiabili
ty gleamed from lustrous eyes, ns dark and
|as large as those of a guzelle. Her cos
tume was that of a peasant girl; but silks
or satins would not have added to the
charms nature had so lavishly bestowed.
"Why, you wanderer 1" cried Vaukra
mer, as lie pressed her affectionately to
his breast; “where have you been frolick
ing these last whole three days ? It has
made your father's heart wring.”
“You may be assured I did not w illingly
delay,” answered Estelle. “I have been
detained, and I have suffered; but lam
with you again, and all is forgotten.”
Her tears gushed freely as she spoke,
but they were more iu thankfulness than
in grief.
“May I be pistolled, but there’s more
in these tears than yon choose to tell,”
cried Vunkrumer, excitedly. “You have
been detained, you say. Has any one
dared to lay hands on you ?”
“Y’es—no—uo 1" replied Estelle, con
fusedly.
“.Speak the truth girl,” exclaimed Ynu
kramer, sternly. Am I notyonr father ?”
Thus urged Estelle revealed the truth.
"Well, then you had always forbade me
to approach the palace,” she said; “but 1 j
was told if I went there that servants
would give me nearly double the money ;
others could afford, and, ill hope that I
should be able to bring you a few com
forts, I did venture to go there, and offer
them my work, when, after some delay,
I was shown up to the —the duke; and he
—ho detaiued me."
The old sold er pushed her roughly
away.
"Ha !" he exclaimed, fiercely. “And
now he sends you home to humble the
heart of a faithful servant, who was too
prond to wink at his vices.”
“No, no, my father,” she answered,
with quick earnestness. “I resisted his
entreaties; Heaven was merciful, and I
was saved.”
He took her in his arms again, whilst
tears dewed his aged eyes.
“Oh, bless yon, bless you, my dear
child !” lie cried, vehemently. “The.
villain 1” You thought of your poor fa
tlier. That infernal duke ! Here, sir,”
he continued, seizing the young officer,
who had shrunk into a corner as if anxi
ous to lOoiil observation, and dragging
him unceremoniously forward, “what do
you think of your friend now ? Look at
this innocent girl, all J look at me. I have
shed my best blood to establish Charles
Amadeus on his throne, and he w ould re
pay mo ly dishonoring my child. Who is
safo iu such a land ?”
Asa kind of slave to his wounded feel
ingH, he gave the officer so vigorous a
shaking that his hat fell off, and his face
was fully exposed.
A cry of surprise broke from Estelle’s
lips.
“The duke !” she exclaimed.
Vankramer grasped his sword vengehd
ly, and Estelle sprang to his side and held
his arm.
“Strike I” said the duke, composedly.
“It is not an unworthy end to die by the
hand of a wronged and worthy .*T>Mier.”
There was a deep stillness beneath that
roof for a moment; and tiieu Oerk Van
kramer thrust his sword back into its
scabbard.
“It is not for me,” he said “to kill
Charles Amadeus, Duke of Baden and
Bheingrave of Alsace, in sight of his fa
ther’s cocked hat and boots. ”
A deep flush of joy that mantled Es
telle’s cheeks at her father’s clemency was
convincing proof that the young duke
would not have been an unwelcome suitor
had his proposals been honorable. But
now fresh perils awaited him. The voices
Of men were heard shouting in the forest.
The assassins were searching for their
prey. Estelle sprang to the door and
’ locked it. Vankramer was for meeting
flie assassins and giving them fight.
“Tut ! we are three," he exclaimed.—
j “There’s a musket, like myself, not too
rßhfy for service, and I can find a ball and
1 powdef. ”
The dfike convinced him of the folly of
attempting to cope with numbers so much
! eroding their own; and Estelle, with wo
man's ready wit suggested stratagem. Her
idea was that the duke should dress him*
1 self iiVtllb ohl uniform, and lie down upon
| her father’s bc<? in theadjbitiibg chamber,
and pretend to' be an invalid comrade of
his.
This scheme was adopted. Charles
Amadeus took the uniform, and went into
QUITMAN, GA„ SATURDAY, AUGUST 1874.
i the bed-room and made the change in his
costume. Scarcely had he done so when
j there came a knock at the cottage door.
; Vankramer directed Estelle to leave the
r cottage by the rear door, get to the road
} side os fast us she could, mid give the
alarm. He then opened the cottage door,
and admitted a swarthy faced man, iu a
handsome hunting suit, whom he had no
difficulty in recognizing as the Chevalier
; Montaldi, the duke's secretary. The
chevalier gluuccd around the cottage sus
piciously.
“Good-day, Oerk Vankramer,” he said.
“Is your daughter here ?
“No," answered the veteran, curtly.
“Then I can ease your suspense," con
tinued the wity Italian. “She is nt this
moment a captive in the palace, the vic
tim of that tyrant, lluke Charles."
“Indeed 1”
“Y’ou doubt me, and think I sin your
enemy. Far from it. I have been com
pelled to look on nil oppressor's crimes
w ithout the power of restraining or con
demning them. At length, ilie wail of
! sorrowing innocence reached the ears of
! sires and sons bold enough to wash out
! their dishonor iu his blood. To-day they
followed him to the forest; nnd now belies
; hid, but wounded, near your lint. Would
you share in the revenge, come, aid them,
| discover, and drag him from liis retreat."
“I will,” answered Yaukhuner, prompt
ly-
The duke, who heard this, groaned in
| the bedchamber. He did not know that
: Vankramer was using dissimulation w ith
I the lender of the assassins.
"What’s that ?” cried tlieclievulier, sus
-1 piciously, and moving towards the charn
! ber.
The veteran intercepted him, telling
1 him it was a sick comrade of his; nnd the
chevalier, apparently satisfied, turned to j
go. As he did so, his foot struck against
something on the floor. He stooped ami
picked it up, recognized it as an ornament
belonging to the duke, and knew that the
pretended soldier was the duke. Elated -
by tlris discovery, he hurried from the
cottage in search of his myrmidons.
Vankramer was now satisfied that the
cottage was no longer a safe-resting-place
for the duke; so he led him forth by the
rear door, and pointed out a by-path tlmt
would take him to the high road. He was
just in time, for the duke had not been
gone a moment, when Muutaldi returned,
accompanied by two evil-looking men.
They sought to force their way into , the i
bedchamber; hut Vankruwoiv in order to
gain time for the duke, defended the door.
He was soon beaten down, however; and j
it would have fared badly with him, had
not n party of the duke’s guards, com
manded by Colonel Alvstyue, and guided
by Estelle, opportunely entered the cot
tage.
The chevalier artfully accused Vankra
meft of having assassinated the duke; and j
the ornament lie produced, and the duke’s
clothes tlmt were found iu an adjoining ;
chamber, seemed to substantiate the
charge. Vankramer retaliated by do-]
uouncing the chevalier, and pointed to the
door by which Charles Amadeus had made
his escape. Moutaldi smiled darkly,
whispered to his two followers, and they
silently left the cottage. Estelle perceiv
ed this, and trembled for the safety of the
duke, Faint, with the loss of blood, they
soon overtook him; and there, in the deep, I
dark wood, and by Iris own cherished
friend, would die the noble and misguided
Charles Amadeus! O, what a glorious ■
vengeance it would be could her weak
hand deliver him ! Ho she saw her father j
taken away by the guards to Baden, and !
then carefully loaded his old musket and
followed upon Montaldi’s track.
*****
In the levee room of the palace, old
Oerk Vftnkramer was arraigned for the
murder of the duke; but the proceedings
were speedily interrupted by the tumultu
ous shouts of the populace without, and
presently a tall figure, wearing an old
fashioned uniform, strode into the hall,
followed by a girl carrying a musket in her j
hand. All gazed upon this man in amaze- J
ment, am! he took his place at. the head of ]
the council-board. He smiled pleasantly
upon thenr.
“You look amazed,” cried Charles
Amadeus, for it was he; “you think, per-;
haps, lam the spirit of Duke John, come !
once nirffe to sit amongst you in this judg
ment hall. I am, indeed, arisen from the
grave of mouldering dishonor. Oerk
Vankramer, tWiat return can I make yon ?
Old man with these, my father’s gar
ments', t piit fin my father’s self. ’
He turned to the baffled conspirator.
"Monktddi," he continued, “bear this
message to your friends/ now crouching,
panther-life, iqfeiVthe Hhine to spring on
my unguarded fold—say, here are not mil
lions to oppose them, but enough to make
the river-bank so slippery with blood that
no French foot shall ehosb it.”
Montaldi hastily withdrew, glad to have
purchased his forfeited fife so cheaply.
“Here is my preserver,” continued the
duke, with beaming eyes, as he drew the
blushing Estelle to his side. “DV re, Oerk,
is your child —the girl I would have
wronged. Make the revenge of wfilnau;
she followed my intended assassins,' ami
when the sword of one was aimed at my
heart, she shot him dead at my feet; his
fbllow flying,-she led me back to Baden,
to honor, arid to Jiiy people. Worthy is'
she to be your daugtiUi- worthier is she
] to be my wife !”
A shout of approval greeted this an
nouncement. And so Estelle won a ducal
coronet by her virtue mid her courage; and
the veteran, who was made chamberlain
of the palace, lived to a green old age,
cheered by his child’s happiness and gran
deur.
A Strange Scene in a Court of Justice,
Many remember the story told by Prof.
Wilson, in his ow n tender and vivid way,
of the two hostile highland brothers, Wil
liam and Stephen reconciled at their fu
i ther’s grave. In a city no farther than
Bridgeport, Conn., a recent trial for as
sault and battery was made memorable by
an iueident almost equally worthy of Wil
i sou’s pen, and we wish we could see it de
scribed as lie would describe it. Two
i brothers, named Adams, residents of West
! port w ho had lived on bad terms with each
other several years, finally came to blows.
Both made complaint before a trial justice
ami both were convicted of breach of the
peace. Dissatisfied with fliis they ap
pealed and at. the next session of the Su
perior Court the jury failed to agree in
the case of one, but found the other guil
ty. Judge Foster, grieved, as a man, at
tne spectacle of two warring brothers and
humanely anxious to stop further litiga
tion in the future between them called the
men before him and talked to them in a
strain of serious but kind reproof. He
briefly reviewed their difficulty and show-
I ed the absurdity of this quarrel, and then
appealed to their self-respect their rela
tionship and their sense of moral responsi
bility to let this unnatural enmity go on
longer.
“M., you claim that, you have always
used your brother well V” questioned the
Judge.
“Yes, sir.”
“And he has always abused you ?”
"Yes, sir.”
“8., you claim that you have always!
| used your brother well ?”
"Yes sir."
j “And he has always abused you ?”
“Yes, sir.
“Bee continued the Judge, you nrc both
to blame and mi jury cun decide which of i
| you is the worse.”
Then ho warned them solemnly, and 1
even tenderly of the folly ol doing as they j
had done, and charged them by all they:
held sacred never to go to law on differ
ence again. He pointed out to them the
beauty of harmony and peace and urged
them thmi and there to pledge friendship
and brotherly kindness for all coming time.
(iravcly, as if reading a printed cove
nant, lie pronounced the words: “You,
M. Adams do you promise on your part
that you will lie friends iu the future with j
your brother V”
"I will,” said M. earnestly.
“You, B. Adams do you promise on |
your part that you will be friends in fn-1
tine with your brothel' ?”
“I will,” said 11. with equal earnestness. ;
“Then shake hands,” said the judge
ami ns the softened brothers grasped each !
other’s hands the, spectators and members i
of the liar already thrilled bv the words)
they had heard fell their eyes moisten and
their hearts swell.
Judge Foster himself was deeply affec
ted when the offenders both audibly in-,1
yoked God’s blessing on tlieir r concilia- j
tion; and his voice trembled as he said to i
tin* convicted one.
“Then 1. impose on you the lightest sen
tence of the Jaw, a film of one dollar, and
I discharge vour bond.”
The Chinese Idea of Death.
A writer on the Chinese says: “Death
in China is regarded as the punishment
for the most trivial offences, and frequent
ly for none at all, except being in some
body’s way. A story was told to me for a
fact that, during the visit of one of tile
royal princes, a theft was committed of a
chain or watch belonging to the royal
guest. The unfortunate attendant was
caught with the property upon him, and,
without further ceremony, his head was
chopped off The mandarin in attend
imee immediately announced the tidings
to the prince as a delicate attention, show
ing lmw devoted he was in his service.
To his astonishment the prince expressed
a great regret that the man’s head had
been taken off. ‘Your highness,’ cried
the obsequious mandarin, bowing to the
ground, fit shall immediately bo put on
again!’ so little did lie understand tlmt
the regret was for the life taken, and not.
the severed head.
*. *
A FunPECT XjNnmtstAOTiHa.—A little [
cockeyed fellow strolled into a Washing-1
ton newspaper office the other evening j
with a piece of manuscript in his hand
and a merry twinkle in his eye, saying:
“Hay mister, y ill you put our game in your
paper ?” What game, my son V” Why,
I belong to the Arrow Ball Club, and we
had a match game with the Gem for forty
cents, and after wo licked ’em they stole
our bats from us, put a head on the um
pire, anil took the forty cents,” “Well,
what do you want to mention that in the
paper for ?” “Oh, we don’t want any
thing sed about that, but we wants to !
challenge ’em fqr a square game.” Just;
here an elderly lady, with an umbrella j
under her arm, came Creeping slowly in j
the door, and caught the youngster by ;
the left ear and waltzed him down the
steps. The boy said nothing, neither did
the old woman, but there appeared to be ]
a perfect understanding between them.
Jack’s Wife. This is the way a senfar- j
ing man recently married, ‘ ‘tol<l to the
marines” what.sort of a wife lie had secured: |
“My wife is just as handsome a craft as
ever left a millim y dry dock, is clipper
built, and with a figurehead not often
seen on a small craft. Her length of keel
is five feet eight, inched, displaces twenty]
seven cubic feet of air; of light draught, .
which adds to her speed in a halt room;]
full in the waist, square trim. At the time
wo were spliced she was newly rigged fore j
and aft, with standing rigging of lace and ]
flowers, mainsail part silk, forestaysail of j
Vilenciennes. Her frame was ol tlio best
steelcoveredwit.il whalebone stanchions. !
Hhe also lias a set of storm sails for rough
weather, and is rigging out a small set of
canvass for light squalls, which are liable
to occur iu this latitude sooner or latter.!
I am told, runiiingdown the street before
fhfi wind, she answers the Helm beauti
fully, and can turn around fn her own
ibugtk if a handsomer craft passes her.
♦
A correspondent of the Sttenlijlr Anitr
i'ciiii Hiivs a certain cure for nbsC hleddirig
is to extend the arm perpendicularly
against a wall or post, or any convenient
object for support. The side from which
tlm blood proceeds is the one to elevate.
1 It'itiki> Ai.ivn in a Bum's Nest.-
There is a bird iu Now Guinea called the
MegnpodiuH, which, in the size of its eggs
and its manner of hatching them, must he
considered extraordinary. It is not larger
than one of our ordinary fowls, but its
eggs are three inches long by two and a
half in diameter. It does not attempt to
sit on them. A colony of birdH lay their
j eggs together in a liirgu mound, in the
hottest part of the year, from September
to March, and leave them to bo hatched
by the sun. The mound is nmdo of sand,
loose earth, nnd sticks and loaves, which
latter, by their decay, increase tho heat.
The mounds are wonderfully large, being
ten feet high and about sixty feet iu cir
cumference at the base. The young birds
come out at a hole in the top. The moth
er birds wait on the trees fur around lilt
their chicks tire hatched, and then
each leads off her own brood. How each
knows its own is a mystery. The eggs
are much relished by the natives, Imt not
at all by Europeans. A native of Cupo
r York ventured one day into anestfor eggs,
and while he was exploring the hidden
riches of the large mound tiie upper part
fell in, and he was smothered. He was
aterivnrds found in the very net of digging
—buried alive in a bird's nest. —Sew
i ’it], Sews.
Compliments.
We have heard of thclady of rare bean
tv who said upon a certain occasion that
the only real, disinterested compliment
she ever received was from a coal heaver,
who asked permission to light his pipe in
the gleaming of her eyes.
Another compliment true nnd genuine,
was paid by a sailor who was sent by his
captain to carry a letter to his lady' love.
The sailor having delivered the missive,
stood gazing in silent admiration upou the
! face of the lady, for she was very beuuti
i ll *’ .
“Well my goon man,” she said, “for
what do you wait ? there is no answer to
be returned. ”
“Eudy,” the sailor returned, with hum
ble deference, “I would like to know
your name.”
“Did yon not see it on the letter ?”
“Pardon, lady, I have never learned to
read. Mine has been a hard rough life.”
“And for what reason, my good man,
would you know my name?”
“Because,’ answered the old tar, looking '
honestly tip, “in a storm nt sea, with j
danger or dentil afore me, I would like to
call the name of the brightest thing I’d
seen in life. There’ll bo sunshine iu it,
even in the thickness.”
-
Several hundred persons fiMonded Uio
fm.arel of a tmne hear near lloston a few
days HjLp>. An invitation to be present was
sent to the Autocrat of the “Breakfast
Table,” who responded as follows: “ Dear
Sir Many thanks for your polite invi
tation to attend the obsequies of the
lamented plantigrade. lam sorry that it
will not.be in uiv power to be present!
upon tho melancholy occasion. I have a j
gnat respect for bears since those two
female ones taught tho little children of!
Bethel and Belial that they must not be I
rude to elderly persons. I think a loose j
hear nr two might he of service in our j
community, and I regret much the loss of
an animal who might have done so much
as a moral teacher for the young of this
city and its suburbs.
‘T am, dear sir, yours very truly,
“O. W. Holmkh.”
-
Pkhfectj*y Reckeess.—There was an
old couple at the Central Depot yesterday,
waiting to go through to the West, and
they seemed loving enough until the old
man went out and returned smoking a
tivo-cent cigar and with his hat slanting
over his left ear. The wife looked at him
twice before she could recognize him, a::<l
t lmn she opened her mouth nnd said.
“Wliat’cl I tell ye, Tlieletus Remington,
before we left New Jersey? Did’t Isay
you’d go and make a fool of yourself the
first chance you got?” He tried to paci
fy her by saying that the cigar only cost
five cents, but she shouted; “You teased
till I let you get your boots blackened;
then you wanted some soda water; then
you bought apples ou the train, and
here’s another five cents thrown away !It
all counts up, and if you don’t die in the
poor-house then my name liain’t Bary.
Detroit Free Draw.
s. * —♦
The Fax. —Since the fan has come to be
regarded as an almost in dispensable ad-j
junct to the feminine toilet, a history of j
its origin may not prove uninteresting to j
the sex who handle it so adroitly. The ;
Chinese snv that Kan-si, the beautiful!
daughter of the mandarins, found the
mask which Celestial etiquette requires
to be worn in public by ladies very op- j
prossive, as tbe evening was warm, but j
her ingenuity was equal to the occasion.
She united her mask and moved it so;
rapidly back and forth before her face 1
that it was impossible to distinguish her ,
features, w hile beauty was enhanced in the ;
eyes of all beholders by the tantalizing
glimpses afforded by the coquettish man
oeuvre. In a moment a thousand fair Ce
lestials, appreciating her courage and co
quetry, imitated her example, and a thou
sand masks were put in motion before a I
thousand pretty faces by a thousand pretty
hands. The ingenious Chinese caught the
idea, and by tiff- next feast of lanterns
fans were substituted for masks.
—— -♦ • ♦ ———
A hater of tobacco asked an old negroe
woman the fumes of whoso pipe were
annoying to him, if she thomrht she was
a Christian, “Yes brudder, I spect I is. ”
“Do vou know that, there is a passage in !
the Scriptures that declares that nothin"
unclean shall inherit, the kingdom of
heaven !” “Yes, I’ve heard of it.”
“tVelf Chine. yon smoke anil you ann 1
not pnfpr flv* kingdom of heaven because
there is nothin" so unclean as the breath
of a smoker. Will,. Jo you snv to that. ?”
“Why. I spoets I leave my hrofT behind
when I go ilar. ”
Entfiiciusino. A Detroit, paper tolls
the story of a boy who, while confined to
the hops., with a broken leir. has trained
a rat to come forth nt his whistle stnhfj oh
his hind feet, roil over, leap til rough a
. hoop covered with paper, nnd to exeen'e
, various other mnnoiuvers. The family
own a lug eat, and lias trained to stretch
out and let the rat leap over her. nnd tbev
are great friends, though Grimalkin .is
I death op all other rodenfji. The lad "has
!an exhibition twice a week, atid secures
I quite nn income hv charging an admission
I fee of five cent. Truly, an embryo Bitr
i hum.
HowHhic Diner, d Him. —Tho Capo May
\Yave relates tho following incident:
“Among tho excursionists that came from
Wilmington by steamer was an unevenly
weighed man nnd wife. Bhe 800 pounds
avoirdupois; ho scarcely ouo hundred
pounds would poise. Well, they must
Lathe, of course; what were tho trips to
Cupo May without an ocean dip ? A bath
house was secured. By tight squeizing
our fat lady got into a bathing robe that
was ready to hurst nt every step. Little
husband girded about his body a woolen
garment that fit like a shirt on a kill deer.
Down they go, bold ns a couple of whales
to tho water; but just at the ocean’s edge
I’nny suddenly halted,' looked with awe
on the furious billows, and then into the
face of his determined 8fll). On her
countenance were the words, ‘.'Come ou 1”
On his trembling lips shivered the sounds,
"Oh no!” The small specimen of diminu
tive husbandry feared to risk his diihiun
live portion of flesh and bones in thednsh
itig foam lest some unlucky billow might
swallow him down like a snip. “You
shall go in,’ said tho woman. ‘I won’t,’
said skinny, at the sumo time making
frantic efforts to tear away; down ho goes
m the sand scratching worse than a Kil
kenny cat. Down drops the 300 upon
A fond mother in Rawls county, Mis-j
souri, has named her daughter Muzin j
Grace. A neighbor enquired how' she
came to select such u mime. “1,a,” says
she, ‘ I got it outof the hymn book.” The
neighbor expressed Surprise, and said she
hod never seen the name in any liymu
book She had used. “Yon haven’t ?” sidd
the mother of Muzin Grace. “M'liy, don’t
you recollect that familiar liymnoommenc- !
ing 'Muzin Grace’ how sweet the sound ?" j
terrified bones, slick as a lniwk upon a j
spring chicken. The sand flew, legs kick- '
ed, man st reamed, yet in spite of all the I
mammothwife gathered Ler 100 pounds of;
furious sweetness in her arms, walked 1
complacently into the biggest breakers
and kerouso slus landed him hcadfcrrif I
most into the sea, and as he pepped up to j
tho surface, half strangled, she pressed
him to her bosom, saying, ‘Now, honey, !
that’s wlmt yon came alt the way from
Wilmington to enjoy.”
“Not Much,"
The story of tho absent minded man
who, meeting his own sou in the street,
shook hands with him nnd asked him how
his father was, Ims been eoiiMod by the
forgetfuiness of a Wisconsin farmer. This
man drove to town to transact some busi
ness, and was accompanied by liis wife.
Leaving her nt a dry goods store, he pro
ceeded to carry out his intentions. Hiiv r
ing finished his business, he forgot nil
about the little circumstance of bringing
his wife with him, and started home alone.
Arriving there, lie put the horses out anil
proceeded to do tli6 chores. Iu the mean
time. the wife had learned that her husband
had left town without her. Hiring a con
veyance, she was driven home. She didn't
wait to take off hci things, but, seizing ni
press-hoard, made her way to the hack
yard. The husband was just seating him-:
self on a milking stool, nnd had just open
ed a conversation with the cow on the i
subject of ‘h’istiug,’ remarking frequently j
that it was “so, boss*.” He was just get- 1
ting settled down to business wlieu'n dthitj- !
Ring sound, ns if something rapidly cleav
ing the air, cumo from the other side of
the cow. It was the press-board, and the
wife was on one end of it. An, instant af
ter it fell with crushing weight upon his
knees. The cow having conscientious
scruples about standing between husband
and wife, left very suddenly, and in her
hurry kicked the unfortunate man m the
immediate vicinity of his vest pockets.—
The unhappy victim of circumstances
scrambled upon all fours, when the press
board again descended, striking him op
posite to where thecow had left her tracks.
His wife then asked him if he would ever
forget her again, and his answer was phlin
nnd to the point", “Not much.”
A T.u.ktno Bohin. —A talking robin is !
described in Hardwicke’s Science Gossip. by
Mr. Alfred Carpenter, who vouches for he !
truth ol'the statement made by the owner
of the wonderful bird. This robin was
captured, while young, by a pet dog;, nnd
after recovering from his fright, was do
mesticated. Ho pot only finifated the
notes of canary birds; but ban learned to
whistle from his mistress. He has no;v
learned to speak the words, “Prott/
Robin,” tbe pet name by which he has
long been called. It having been found
that he imitated those words, the formula
was changed to “Sweet Robin,”, which
he imitated very distinctly; aud he now
utters, not quite so distinctly, the phrase,
“Pretty little fellow.” Mr. Carp'dnter is
a strong advocate of the theory that birds
can communicate with each other by lan
guage.
At an inquest held in London trb the
body of a lady who died suddenly, (!' few
hours after attending ail oveningjpsrfy, of
apoplexy, tho coroner remarked that it was
a pity to say anything against so healthful
and pleasurable an exercise ns dancing lmt
: it most certainly produced apoplexy in
certain cases. Seeds of death are often
sown in a ball room, not so nautili froiii
dancing as from the circumstances under
■ which it is carried on. Eating ices when
the body is heated by violent exorcise; the
! atmosphere of many a ball room; tho sud
den changes of temperature on leaving
heated hall rooms; keeping hite hours all
these are liable to prepuce apoplexy.
>•*
' A JSRAT'TiFfii. Turncnn.—At the Washing
ton nnd Lee University,.Lexington, Vn., a
student is each day detailed to watch beside
the tomb of General Lee. Every morning
one of the students is posted at the t6mb in
. tlie memorial room of the champcf, built
1 under the supervision of Lee. lie is
; styled a “watcher, ’ and hit duty is to
remain there, during the day arid receive
visitors, showing them the proper courtesy
and attention. As there are nearly three
hmidreud and fifty students, no One is on
duty moG> than once u your.' Thus, the
entire ,Southern people, through their rep
resentatives in the University, are watch
; ing at the tomb of Lee and their sons im
proved in manner nnd bearing by the sacred
duty they perform, and their minds ami
hearts Is ■unfitted by thoughts of the no
bledead.—Loinlnnn (To.) Enterprise.
A few years ago a hungry crowd sal
down at tlie well spread supper table of a
Sound steamer, upon which oi A' of the
dishes contained a trout of moderate size.
A serious looking individual drew thi
dish toward him, saying, a pologeticnlly.
“This is a fast day With nrc, ” His next
neighbor, an Irish gdhtlemkiV, immediate
ly inserted his fork into the Hah, nnd trans
ferred it to hits own plate, lVnVarking, “Sir.
do you Suppose tlobi sly has a soul to la
j saved but yourself?”
miscellaneous ITEiuS.
A Michigan girt was killed by Kgfft;
mug while picking geese for her wedding
pillow.
A New Haven Irishman who buried bis
wife on Thursday was married again elf
.Saturday.
A young Keokuk fady set her pa’s hoard
on tire liceutise lie wouldn’t pay her dry
goods hill.
In California they cal! it “suppressing 1 /
desperadoes when they shoot then/
through the head.
Falling clams whh the Angers is “(ho*
thing” ouNurmgnnselt shore.
Is "hit by a dog" grunmticid ?—asks a'lZ
exchange. Try it mice and see.
Nothing will so qninjclv sharpen the
wits of an editor ns a SSO dollar.
One week’s residence in Kansas Citv
entitles you to be called colonel.
A good imported night-gown can now
be purchased for seventy dollars.
It is said that new ale is diluted with oil 1
of victriol and spoiled molasses.
The novelty ip horse-gear this season is‘
a pure white driving rein in web.
Every White Mountain stage has an ac
cident insurance agent ou board.
When u man parts with his “stud," he
often gives up the “ring” as well.
A one-year’s wedding celebration in the
Boutli is culled a cotton wedding.
NO. IT-
The girls of nn Illinois seminary amuse
themselves by spitting at u murk.
TEG i.i tho rienio’n of th'o year wlieu flies
enter largely into every article of diet.
An lowa court holds that a promise to
marry must be in writing iu order to him..
Thd hardest thing for a woman to do/
after holding her tongue, is to iron u shut.
Tbo quickest way for a man to furjfc "
all common miseries is to wear tight bis .is.'
“Free lunch for ten cents" is the in
scription on the door of a Detroit rulomi.
Tlnirc is but one river in Virginia nniiuo
after a woman, anil tliut is all mouth.
What did this country do for a phrase
before that of salary-grab was invented V
Emigrate to Akron, Ohio. They rifi'A
idly exclude organ grinders from the city
limits.
One can dream iu a sky-blue hat, but it
would be wrong to weep in one of lost*
color.
The quickest way to get a glass of Iml'f
and-half at a railway stutiou is to ’uil tho
porter.
In Schenectady the girls who ore “loft”
by the college students arc callod “college
widows. ”
When chattering monkeys grin at men,'
must we turn apes and grin at them.'
A’ drunkard is generally a lmil argnor,
for the ofteuer lie comes to tne pint, Liu
xftofe incoherent lie is.
As li result of the hydrophobia war Hie
ladies of Newport have exchange their
poodles for kittens.
If it is wise to have two strings to your
bow, it is also prudent to let one of vour
purse-strings he u check-string.
liet ns nil go to Kansas City. Tbe last
cat in town die V hist week, and mod
quitoes are not fashionable.
If ypii diduu’t get a sight nt tlie comet
this time, it won’t matter; it will be
nruirnd again in about 270 yeurs.
Nine girls out of ten would rather have
a eameTs lniir eluiwl then a necklace.'
Parents should remember this.
A house maid in Chicago had her hair
triVn white iu u single night hist
week. Bn: fell head foremost into n flour
baml.
The reason that the French people tiro
so fust is because they tat horse flesh in
large qbmitities.
When'the Saratoga' girl wishes to at
tend a masquerade she appears in the cos
tume of a sensible woman. Nobody rce
ogyjzes her. ... ,
. F.stliep 1 Bliawof Davenport, It., wOrkell
thirteen years in one family before asking
for a cent pay. Needn’t scud for her
she’s dead.
A’T*ew York liiily accuses tlie Boston
girls, at Swaniscott mid New London, of
deliberately deceiving their mule friends
by goiiig iu to bathe with their corsets on.
Tnlfe two liirgb wrought-irou nails, wire
tlieri' together ill the shape of a cross. It
will'thin lie forind impossible to swallow
them'. There is rib deception about this.
An lowa paper predicts that iri fUW
years every barrel of Western flour will be
sent Bust "i barrels of paper, made from
the stiVi’W flie wneAt grew ou.
A OoriireetiAnt pi if twelve years olil
tried to starv'd herself to death because
her bean deserted her, bnt at the cud of
the sedoiid day’ she gave it up !'
The mbs! mihdkativd person seldom {albr
to lfiitke u few remarks" when, with' bar'd’
fdet, he stops' oil a carpet-tack at two
o’clock in the morning !;
The essentials of a watering-place, now
so popular, may literally be assumed to Inr
tlliisly: Ben, salt, Amicf,' Shrimps, sailors*,’
steamers,- tnd shilgs v
Tivtfliorn* will last nn ox n lifetime, but
■rfrVjniy a Than wants that number every
morning before breakfast.
All ihtelKgoiU feast—The entertainment
of idea.
Of what feminine creature ore you re
minded oh tSe completion of a build
ing ? —A hbnstbiiinde.
Wheli a yonrjr’g farmer's wife made her
first boy’s pants precisely the same beforo
as behind, (the father exclaimed; “(bald
ness ! be wdM’S know whether lie’s going
to sclioof or ebmiug home !”
We. have beard of a great many
excuses, tint “heavy losses on a base ball
match, and morbid impulses,” is the lat
est reason given by a married man lor
going home drunk the other night !
A Yonliem lmtter lias a mouse which he
lias taught to Kit up on its hind legs. That
mouse will taste the same to the eat if she
comes across it during its performance 1
“Oar extravagance is fast running us,’’
says Gerritt Hinitli. How true this is I—A1 —A
man call hardly bnv a pint of peanuts novt ,*
ami look his wife squarely in the face.
A good way to restore a mail appnrefif
ly drowned is to first, dry him thoroughly
inside and out and then clap a speakiify
truinpet to his car aid inionh I'.iA rHi-t
iiis mother-in-law's dead.”
The price of three pieces of (flowing
rum a week, atone cent upifA*. rfniounts
to gl.fi# a year, or in sixty-sen n years to
•510t,52. That sum will p'.rehftse k i com
plete set of Appleton’s /'■.nryclopedili. a
marriage license, a black bombazine droso
for your aunt, a German silver coffin plate,
md n hnir switch. C’ot this out, young
•irl. ami paste it on the back of volte
1 beau’s photograph.