Newspaper Page Text
[Written fur the Irish World.]
THE B ATTLE OK THE C'OWPEITS.
(January 17th, 1781.]
BY WILLIAM COLLINS.
Twit? ton* tronpmrs from Winaboiough town,
To the ford of the Yadkin came galloping down,
Birift a* the wind sped each flytug dragoon,
By mountain and river, and hike and lagoon ;
Nor paused in hi* march till his pickets were set
On tne thick-wooded slopes of the calm Pacolet,
And saw from his sabres his enemy flee,
The rifles of Morgan, the legions of Lee.
Tin morn, and deserted a tid lone is bin camp.
And again on the breeze cornea the trooper's rude
tramp.
And away in pursuit of the fugitive foe
The hangdogs of Britain exultiugty go ;
Bound the base of the mountain that towers o’er
the plain.
Unmolested they pans till the Oowpens they gain,
But there, in their front, in the sunlight arrayed,
Flash the bright rebel bayonets of Morgan m
brigade.
Claim, Arm, and defiant they fearlessly stand.
With Morgan, their leader, in front of the band;
On his left gleam the rifles that often before
Have worsted the foe on Virginia's green shore;
In the centre the sabres of (Georgia flash bright,
And the muskets of Maryland form on the right •
And high o’er their marshalled and deep serried
lines
Bearing wrath to the Briton, their rebel flag
shines.
With a rush aud a roar towards the ranks of the
foe
The ariinson-clad soldiers of Tarleton go ;
A forest of sabres flash bright in the sun.
And loud rolls the rattle or musket and gun,
The tramp of his troopers, the strength of their
shout. .
Far away o'er the woods and the waters ring out.
And bravely with sabre and broad sword in band
They charge up the slopes where the riflemen
stand.
Ho ! Georgia ! Virginia and Maryland ! itow *
Through their thick serried ranks let your leaden
baua plough, .
And Morgan, remember the heroes who fell
On the nlood-reddoned snow's of Quebec and
Sorfel!
Crack, crack, go the rifles, the bright sabres ring,
As down on the Britons the riflemen spring,
There’s a shock, there’s a crtutli, then a ringing
huzza !
And Tarietou’a troopers retreat in dismay.
But rallied again to the onset they come,
With ringing of bugle and beating of drum,
More cautions and wary, and vigilant now,
With Mood and revenge on each dark, scowling
brow ;
Their guns crash in anger through Morgan’s
brigade,
In the van—by his flag- flashes Tarleton’s blade.
From his ranks bursts a cheer, as in fury again.
He leaps to the charge in the front of his men.
But fierce in bis wrath, and as fast in his flight
As the eagle swoops down when his prey is in
sight.
Burst Morgan and Howard, wiih sabre and ball,
And down uu his ranks like an a volant lie fall,
McDowell leaps out from his lair in the shade,
And Washington’s sword crosses Tarleton’s
blade ;•
And the Maryland bavonets, by Cunningham led,
Make room through his deep, serried columns
of red.
The red-coats reel backward from Morgan's fierce
stroke,
Their leader is wounded, their centre is broke, i
And away in disaster the Briton has fled,
Behind liim. in heaps, lie his wounded and dead, I
And the rebels pursue them, with musket aiul j
sword,
From Cowpen’ft red plain hi the Broad river ford ; ;
Carolina exults, and, from hill top and glen,
Kings a cheer for the chief and hia free-boni men.
* Lieutenant Colonel Washington had a per- \
sonal conflict with Tarleton at the Battle of the j
Cowpcns, in which he succeeded in wounding
the British cavalry leader in the hand, ami in
turn received a ball from Tarleton’s pistol in the
knee.
THE FATHER'S LESSON.
“Will yon stop that flying sir ? or I'll
sec if I cannot make you. ’’
But still the tear drops followed eneli
other down the little grieved face, and the
suppressed sohs shook the little frame.
“Oh ! Horace, surely you will not !"
cried the yovog mother as Rhe saw her
husband take the whip. “I do not tliiuk
he is well, and then he is only a baby yet."
“Only a baby hey ?—and three years
old. But I have stood his crying long
enough, and am going to put a stop to it;"
and the blows began to fall on the dimpled
figure, every one falling as hard on the
mother’s heart. Mra. Fane at last unable
to control herself longer, snatched her
darling boy to her breast and ered:
“Oh! Horace I did not think it of you !’,
Mr. Fane did not reply, but left the
room whistling, though his conscience was
not quite easy. He was in fact a loving
father, but had as most young fathers
have au idea that children must be per
fect, and was very strict accordingly.
Amy sat for a while with her child
pressed closely to her heart, petting and
soothing him as only motheis cun, and
then went with him to the coney little
breakfast room ; but the nice little meal
had lost its relish for both and was par
taken of almost in silence. Mr. Fane at
length arose from the table and left for his
daily business.
“L feel so sad,” Amy mused, after her
husband had gone. I feel so unusually
sad. lam afraid Arty is not well : but
then his eyes ore bright and his cheeks
are rosy.—ah ! that is it ! they arc too
rosy and his eyes ure too bright
“Come, my pet ; want to sit in mam
ma’s lap and near her pretty stories ?”
“l'es’m.”
And the little head snugs down on her
shoulder with such a feeling of perfect
safety there. One story follows another
until the little head droops, little eyelids
close over the blue eyes and Arty is asleep.
“See, lie smiles,” said Amy to herself.
“My fears are probably groundless. I must
be getting nervous. I will not disturb
him, but let liim have a good nap.”
And the little curly head is laid gently
on the pillow, and the little rounded limbs
covered lightly, and with another kiss on
the brighbred cheek, she leaves him to
attend to her household cares though
work ns she would she could not banish
the sadness from her heart, hut every few
minutes steals to the cradle-side to look at
her baby-hoy. At last she is through her
morning duties and has ordered for din
ner those dishes of which her husband is
fondest,; for in her heart he holds first
place, loving him even more than she did
her idol boy. But ah ! what is it ? Amy’s
heart had just begun to grow lighter, and
she was singing nsnatch of song when she
saw her precious boy starting and jerking
in au awful convulsion, She knew then
her worst fears were realized. Dispatch
ing a servant for the physician and her
husband, she began trying what simple
means her limited expel ieuce suggested to
give the little sufferer relief.
“Oh ! will they never never come!’,
she cries over and over again, wringing
her bands in helpless grief.
Yes at last they are here. Horace comes
first, all his father’s heart stirred between
love and remorse. The doctor's practiced
eye tells him it is useless to attempt to
save the little one. Horace Fane’s grief
knew no bounds when lie found that Ins
little boy was surely going. Oh ! to lose
him were bitter indeed, but coupled with
that the'knowledge of liis morning’s work !
He lelt as if lie would give years of his
own life to add to that of the frail being
before him ; and oh ! how good he would
be to him. How he woald shield his
pathway from thorns and pluck only roses
for him. But alas, alas ! it was too late !
What a golden opportunity had passed !
God lent the -treasure for a little while,
but this life was too full of thorns for the
tender feet, and now he would transplant
the fragile earth flower to a brighter clime
where no fierce winds blow and no rude
storms arise.
The death-angel is hovering noislessly
in the darkened room and the devoted
VOL. 111.
mother felt almost as if her life was going
out with the bright young life of the little
being in her arms. If her grief was so
hard to bear, what must have been the an
guish of the father’s ? Aye the iron had
truly entered into Iris own soul.
Oh, parents ! you who have your little
ones around you, shield their tender forms
from the storms of life while they are
| young—the cures and vicissitudes will
| come soon enough. Doi not let their
| bright, uveet faces catch the frown upon
1 your brow. Do not utter one harsh word
or cause their little hearts one sorrow with
! which you will have to reproach yourselves
. when the little head is low and the flowers
blossom above the little form so dear to
I you. Little Arty is an angel now. Never
! more will the little face be toar-stfliued or
j the little bosom swell with grief. The
shining curls lie very smoothly now by
! the marble brow. The laughing blue eyes
are hid beneath the long lashes the dainty
little lips just parted in a smile, as if he
caught something of heaven's glory ere lu>
reached the gates. White flowers are
clasped in the tin v hands that lie so quiet
ly now on the pulseless breast. The little
feet will make music ro more along the
hall-way, nor the little face peer so long
ingly through the glass by the door-way
to see if * father’s turned. ” There’s a long i
dark shadow now’ athwart the home circle, j
How hard to look at the cradle with its j
dainty appointments that almost show the
j impress of the daintier limbs that so lately 1
j reposed there ; to seo the little chair by i
j the fireside and know that its little owner
I will never need it auv more ; to gather to- j
! gether the neglected toys, aud turn where |
j 3 ou will to see something to remind you
j of the little cue who was lent to you for so I
short a time, and then took its flight to a |
j brighter world than this.
! ******* |
I think if Horace Fane is ever blessed
! with another child, lie will moke a kinder, j
| gentler father than before—will feel that j
I children have rights and privileges as w 11
! as old persons and that childhood’s griefs j
j art* as real to them os the ones wo suiter |
lin mariner years. Sunny South.
How to Discourage Your Minister.
TWELVE rUW liI'LES.
1. Hear him “now and then." Drop in
a little late. Do not sing ; do not find the
i text in you billies. If you take a little
i sleep during the sermon, so much the bet
ter.
2. Notice carefully any slip he makes
while you are awake; point out the dull
portions to your children ami friends ; it
will come round to him.
3. Censure liis efforts at usefulness : de
plore his want of common sense ; li t him
know that you wont help him because A.
B. does, because you were not first con
sulted, or because you did not start the
plan yourself.
4. L t him know the follies and sins of
his hearers, Hhowhim how much heovi r
-1 rates them, and tell him their adverse
criticisms on himself.
5. Tell him, when he calls, what a
stranger he is ; how his predecessors used
to drop iu for an hour's chat, and lioiv
much you liked them.
6. Never attend the prayer-meeting ;
frequently no special service. Why should
you he righteous overmuch f
7. Occasionally get up a little gsvety
for the young folks. This will be found
very effectual about the communion sea
son. “There is a time to dance,” you
know.
8. Give him no intimation when you
are ill; of course he should know ; and
your offended dignity, when he conies to
see you, will render his visit pleasant. On
no account intimate your recovery,
9. Require him to swell the pomp of
every important occasion, unless, indeed,
there are prudential reasons for passing
him over.
10. If he is always in his own pulpit,
clamor for strangers ; if lie has public du
ties, and sometimes goes übroad, complain
that he is never at home.
11. Keep down his income. Easy means
are a sore temptation, and fullnessof bread
is had for every one— but the laity.
12. As lie will find it to be hard always
at homo to receive callers, and always run
ning among the people, and always pre
pared for pulpit and platform, you will he
sure to have just cause for complaint, one |
way or the other. Tell it to every one, ■
and then lament that there is so general
dissatisfaction with him.
Futient continuanco iu courses like
these, modified according to circumstan
ces, has been known not only to discour
age, but to ruin the usefulness and break
the spirit of ministers, fo send them off to
other charges, and sometimes to their ;
graves.
Those who desire to avoid such results !
should avoid the practice of such things !
as are here referred to. Let us “Help one j
another. ” — Christian Advocate.
[Now we will suggest a few simple rules
by which to encourage yonr minister :
Ist. Procure for him the best currant
magazines ; not only those of the church
to which he belongs, but those of other
churches ; also scientific and literary
journals. Send him the best secular news-1
paper, so that he may he kept thoroughly I
posted as to what is going on in the world. ;
A fresh book now and then will be
thankfully received —not as a loan but as
a gift. He is not only yonr preacher, he
is your teacher, or should be, and would be
if put in the way of it.
Praise him for whatever you see or hear j
that merits it. If bis sermons feed and
do you good, tell him so. He enjoys a
•■fork of approval as much as one’s hus
band or wife.
Send him a basket of fruit, a bodquet
of flowers, or a hamper of other good
things ; they wilt not come amiss in a
minister's family.
Lend him yonr horse, or take him out
to ride occasionally, and observe how his
mouth will turn up at the corners. Invite
his wife also. Will they ever forget such
attentions ?
Most clergymen are bnman, and enjoy
the good things of life as well as those
who produce them ; and, ns a rule, they
are notin the way of money making, and j
cannot afford many luxuries. With prop
er attentions on the part of the laity, a
pretiy good preacher may be. made out of
one not gifted with superhuman abilities.
Try it ] — Phrenological Journal.
“Amen ! amen 1 ” shouted a Cedar Bap
id’s parson, aO the elegant remarks of a
stranger at the camp meeting. Suddenly
the parsen turned has eyes on the man.
and jumping up, screamed, “Catch him,
brother, catch him ! He’s the three-card
monte man that got my last month’s sal
ary.” This is a fact, and the monto man
is now in jail at Cedar JKapids.
QUITMAN. CtA., FRIDAY, JULY 30, 1875.
PROF. DONALDSON S FATE.
.VI the Mercy of a Hurrcano In u Rotten
Halloon—An Attreimlon Full of Evil \u
I gury DomiltWon \mtoim mid Groff—
| The Last Sn of the Balloon -Lout In tlio
I Lake.
[From the Chicago Tribune.]
There is every reason to fear that Prof.
Washington Donaldson and his hapless
companion, Mr. Grim wood of the Journal,
i perished in the hurricane of Thursday
! night.
The departure of the balloon was full of
evil augury. A frail bag of cheap cotton,
harnessed by wreaths of old cordago to n
crazy wicker basket, there were no signs
of care or precaution in the process of
making ready. Ou the contrary, half-a
dozen indifferent fellows in the liippp
drotne service hung to it in a listless way,
and the aeronaut himself paid so little re
gard to the swelling g'obo that one might
have been excused for supposing that he
had no concern with it whatever. It was
impossible to avoid noticing the rents aud
patches, some of them very clumsily re
paired, which disfigured what should
otherwise have been its un uoken contour.
The ropes by which the car was attached
were knotted, spliced, and tangled in a
fashion more indicative of hurry and
eeouomy than of a proper regard for the
safety of the Professor and Iris companions.
Altogether, the balloon wore un air of
slmbhinoKN and debility, nut- to have de
tected which, in the light of present evi
dence, Kuoms unaccountable,
THE DARING AKRONAUT.
Donaldson was evidently very nervous
| about the start. He whistled vacantly to
j himself, and took frequent observations of
■ the wind and the promise of the sky. Sun
| burnt, dusty, and restless, be formed a
j picturesque contrast with the apathetic
j eanvasment who kept tho balloon to its
I moorings. The two reporters who entered
j the car together held no conversation with
i him and while they were in the heat of an
j inaudible dialogue, he swung himself
monkey fashion, to a platfom of wire net
| ting just under the neck of the balloon,
in which un fragrant, neighborhood he re
mained until the machine became a speck
in the upper blue, Tho crowd had a good
chance to scrutinize him as he leaned, in
the attitude of an auctioneer, over the
upper hoop and exchanged some sharp
and nervous raillery with an acquaintance
down below. He looked short and very
square shouldered, with a gymnast’s
breadth of chest and big jointedm sa. His
coat, collar was turned up to shield a large, j
muscular neck from the sun, and a silk j
hat was drawn down over iris face. This
latter was brown as a berry, with hair j
cropped short, a thick dyed moustache
twisted up in an inquisitive'point at each j
end, and a pair of dark bright eyes which j
roved hither and thither. Just behind
him the brasses and the reeds and thej
drums of the hand were braying and bung- i
ing cheerily. A hundred wags shot their |
quips at brm, and once in u while Home
body, with lungs louder than the rest,
caught his attention and won a reply,
DON ADDS ON HE HI O'UR.
Just before the balloon began the series
of short bumps and jerks which was the
prelude of its departure. Donaldson cov
ered his eyes with lr.s hand and gazed
steadfastly over the treacherous lake. One '
of the wags sung out : 4 'Donaldson, you and J
better get out,” The aeronaut was silent I
for a minute, then ho muttered : "I wish j
to < hrist I could.”
(1 rim wood, of tin* Jouvnol was in that
dingy wicker car, peering through the net j
work of ropes like a caged bird. Donald- !
son’s wire perch was three feet above him. I
While the Professor played at being cap-|
tain of the a’.r ship, the sole passenger j
made himself at home, and upraising a i
bundle of ciieul irs, meant for serial d#-tri-
Imtion, asked if they were the provisions.
K very body laughed at the lightness of the
fare • xcept Donaldson, who had hia arms
turned around a pair of the main ropes,
and whose face was like a copper mask.
The journalist looked to boa slender
young fellow, with a plain honest eouute- i
nance, and was serious enough for one on
tin? eve of such a fatal voyage as that
which, little recking, he was about, to take.
That be realized some of the perils of his
sit uation was evident in the extreme grav
ity of his features, which were in marked
contrast with the reckless aud mocking
faces of tho mob.
tip IN tiie A in.
It would he hal'd to define the exact mo
ment of thewstart. Half a dozen men held
to the cable, and the balloon, slow ly mount
ing three or four feet, reeled t > and fro as
if it'' ere some monster caught in a trap
and frantically bent on escape. Now roll
ing its huge bulk this way, now that, with
Donaldson swinging from the upper hoop,
and Grimwood jerked hack and forward in
the basket, ft frightened the crowd into a
succession of stampedes. Then Donald
son gave an order, and Grimwood seized a
sand bag and poured its contents through
the cordage on a scire fit upturned faces.
There was a vast laugh all around, a show
er of handbills from the car, floating to
the earth like a hundred thousand white
figures, and before its flight could be real
ized, the balloon shot up into the clear
sky, and was soon hanging over the lake
like Bilload's hovering roc. Donaldson
still kept his footing on the perch, and
waved his hat. Grimwood still peeped
through the hempen grate which impris
oned him, and shed bundle after bundle
of handbills. Thus, amid the shoutingof
the mob and the crash of the hand, the
two unfortunates went to their fate.
THE LAST SEEN Of THE BALLOON.
On Friday morning, after a night of un
usual hurricane, there was early and anx
ious inquiry at the Hippodrome for the
adventurous pair. To the first as w;ell as
t ;e latest questioner, Mr. Barnum’s agents
could only reply with an expression of
hopefulness. Donaldson had survived such
momentous perils'in the past, had come
out scathkss from so many hand to hand
encounters with death, that there was ex-[
euse enough for being confident. But
when, later in the day, a coasting schooner
brought news of the balloon’s dire peril at
an early hour of the night, some time be
fore it was called upon to stand the tre
mendous shock of the tempest, hope for
the voyagers'safety gave place to a reluc
tant belief that they had both perished, j
The Little Guide, a small qjaft, employed
in the lumber nnd tan-bark trade, entered
this port about nine o’clock. Upon her
arrival, her captain, a Swede named An
derssen, and his mate, a compatriot named
Rasmussen, both told how at 7 o’clock on j
Thursday evening, when off Grosso Point,
some twelve miles north of Chicago, and
while standing out thirty miles from the
shorn, they had seen the balloon dropping
its car once in a while into the lake, only
some mile and a half distant from their
vessel. Realizing ttye dangerous situation
of the aeronauts, (’apt. Audersstn headed
his schooner in their direction. But be
fore ho could overtake the machine, which
was bounding at a rapid rate on the water,
there was a sudden lighting of the car, and
the globe shot upward to a great height,
soon disappearing altogether from the view j
of the crew of the schooner.
Tin: PROBABLE K ITE OK THE AERONAUTS.
Mr, Elias Colbert, whos* patient and
successful investigations in meteorology |
entitle him to perfict credit, warrants,;
with his ripe experience, tho following!
theory :
When the balloon left*the circus grouud j
at 5 o’clock it arose at an altitude of 5,000 j
feet into the current of a wind blowing !
steadily to tho northeast. Before the im- 1
pulse of that eunjjoisenH breeze it ran !
about fifteen miles an hour on a course
which had for its starting point Chicago
and for its conclusion (he neighborhood of
Grand Haven, in Michigan. There were I
120 miles of water to be traversed, so that j
the voyage, under favorable auspices, and
at tin* rate of fifteen miles an hour, would
terminate in eight hours. Land should j
have been reached about 1 a. m. At 7
o'clock the Little Guide, standing out
some thirty miles from the Illinois shore, I
off ( xrosso Point, and about twelve miles j
north of Chicago, sighted the balloon, j
still ou its course, and exactly where our
calculations would pined it, to-wit : about
thirty miles from its starting point, with
thirty miles yet to travel before it could
i arrive at its destination.
From causes easily understood upon re
j ference to an interview with Prof. Steiner,
i printed below, the balloon had lost a great
deal of its carryiug ability even at this
: early stage. It already hovered on the
very surface of the lake, and dragged its
j car over the crests of the waves. Wlmt it
' was that Donaldson threw overboard to
| lighten Iris craft we perhaps shall never
'know. It is not impossible that hia un
fortunate companion relinquished hia hold,
and bewildered by the fury of the race
across the hungry plain of waters, fell out
of t-iie car and so perished.
CAUGHT A HUHItIOANK.
| Meanwhile a terrible hurricane was
I gathering at a point parallel with tne north- |
;cm extremit y of Lake-*Michigan. The !
I storm centre ns meteorological writers
| term it, was spinning round and round fln
its eastern course, twenty miles faster than
the dragged balloon was plunging -'be
fore the northeast breeze.
Of course v. hen the cu dipped into the
lake it immediately retarded the flight of
the balloon, acting upon it like a brake.
With this impediment the machine proba
bly could travel no faster tliair eight to
twelve miles un hour.
The reader can just here realize the situ- j
ation of Donaldson and his companion. I
Uu lining northeast, they knew nothing j
of the tornado whirling t 'lupestuoiisly to
Urn liorthci u erm of tu* lake, IV:g w itu their j
destruction.
The moon shone fitfully, clouds thick- |
ened behind them and chased each other
in constant- procession across its face. Per
haps they described the lamps of th little
schooner twinkling two miles off. The
lake was ruffled by the steady blow, and as
they were torn through it by the un wieldly
monster, over which they had too little
control, its waves must have broken over
them, and angrily tested their grasp of
the car. Tim tempest, on the other hand,
gathering volume Slid fury in the north,
spun round on its centre and swept in
frenzy over the .face of the lake. When
tl e balloon had aobi' Vcd probably two
thirds of its disastrous voyage, aud only
forty miles lmd to ho traversed to com
plete it, thestorm burst in all its terrors on
the laboring sphere.
The path of the hurrienno and the
course of the balloon intersected just about
forty miles from Grand Haven, and it. was
at the point of that intersection that
THE GALE STRUCK DOWN T HE BALLOON.
Ah the storm and wind poured its furv
about the doomed machine it spun round
arid round like a top, with the poor wieteii-
es in its car drugged through the waves in
their cage, which whirled them from side
to side, giddy with hopelessness and dis
may. At last, if Gyiuwood Imd not been
dashed out of the ear before this supreme
hour, his inexperienced hands must have
loosened their death grip. Donaldson, an
expert gymnast, probably hung on with u
stronger and more skillful hold. But even
if the older of the two lost men survived
Ids comrade there could not have been
many minutes between their drownings.
Once fairly sprawling upon the surface of
the water, the balloon could not escape
from its adversary by (lying before it. it
took only the violent concussion, and then,
rent in twain like the vail of the temple by
its death blow, the huge yet unsubstantial
creature burst turd sank.
How the two men met their fate we shall
probably never know. A tragic cbonrs
sang their requiem iu the roar of the
thunder and the wail of the wind. Had
there been a flitting inspiration for sneh
an ending, their death would have been
heroic. But, wild as their enterprise was,
nobody can think without a thrill of the
two souls which, seizing the wings’ of the
storm, passed out of the crash and theruin
of that tempestuous midnight into the
heaven of a perpetual good morning.
A writer in the Phrenological Journal
says, in referring to a conversation held
with a student, he spoke of the astonishing
effect the study of the Chinese language
had had on the shape of his forehead.
Over the eyes and all along the region of
the perceptive faculties there seemed to be
built on a layer of hone a quarter of an
inch in thickness and about half or three
quarters of au inch in width. “Y’on see,”
said he, “trie study of the Chinese lan
guage calls into exercise only the percep
tion and memory. Instead of one or two
nasal sounds, as we have in our language,
they have thirteen, and it is 'tiemost diffi
cult matter at first for no American to dis
tinguisli between them.” Then he gave
examples of these different nasal sounds,
but to my uneducated ear they seemed
quite alike. “For eighteen months,” he
said, “we did little hut study the language,
and during that time roy forehead changed
wonderfully in shape. It used to be
smootho like yours, and uniformly devel
oped, but this great ridge here spoils the
shape of it ; and the hats I used to wear
will only rest oil the top of my head now.”
♦ ♦♦
What in the difference between the low
er part of the leg, and iho late comet ?
One is shin and bone, and the other’s been
and eh one.
MR. KEEY’S GREAT MOTOR.
Wlmt lit Snlil About It by Men About
Town nml Others.
“What do you think of tho lCeely mo
tor ?” a Sun reporter asked Mr. Mastell,
yesterday.
The venerable and portly President- of
the police board wiped his glasses clean,
put them on, ami looked into tho re
porter’s eye.
4‘The Krvly murder ?” he said. “When
was that V"
“No, not a murder. A motor. The
Keely motor.”
“Oh,” said the President, as if he un
derstood at, last, “stealing a locomotive.
Yes, yes. I remember that. It was up ut
Sing Sing, about four months ago. ”
“1 don’t think you quite understand
me,” the reporter replied. “I wish to
know wlmt von think of the Keely motor.
M. a-l e., motor. Something to make
something else go. What do you think
of it ?”
“I don’t think anything about it,” fund
Mr. Mastell, “for 1 don’t know wlmt it
is. What are you talking about, any
how’ V”
“Sit down, Mr. Mnstell,” said tho re
porter, “and I’ll talk business to you.
Now tell me, candidly, wlmt you think
about it. ”
“Think about wlmt ?”
“Tho Kcely motor.”
“I don’t- lie awake nights thinking about
motors, my friend,” said Mr. Mast-ell. “In
fact, 1 never heard of the Keely motor. Ii
don’t know anything about—”
“01. don’t .sav that, Mr. Mustcll. I’m
sure with your experience--”
“I say I don’t know anything-—”
“Don’t disparage yourself, Mr. Mustell.
This is merely a little matter of business.
Let us look at it calmly. I wish to get
the benefit of your years of experience in '
the editorial chair and in the police de
partment, and to spread the information
before the public. In short, what do you
tlii ik of the Kcely motor?”
"Before wo go any further, young
man,” said tho President of the police
board, “suppose you tell mo what tho
lively motor is ”
"The Keely motor, Mr. Mnstell,” the
reporter replied, "is tho great invention of
the nineteenth century. It's unparalleled
in the history of mechanics. It's a ma
chine to rin without lire or steam ; in
fact, u machine to run by water and air.
Ihe air goes in soft and comes out in
cakes. It’s so powerful that an ounce
vial of the vapor will blow tip a fort ; and
the inventor says u bucketful of water,
compressed, would run thirty ears from
New York to Philadelphia.”
"That must be a great machine- a very
great machine. A first-rate machine to
keep away from. When I was nu editor—"
"But what do you think of the motor V”
"\\ lint, the air-mashed concern ?”
"Yes. ”
"Oh, that's all wind.”
Not In in;; piliyv ,!ti o'e-il
advanced l-y Mr. Mnstell on ■ elm motor
subject, tho reporter sought Mr, Hurry
Hill for further information. Mr. Hill .is
well informed on motors, but the Keely
motor, lie say s, is too much for him.
"Talic about condensed air in bottles,”
said Mr. Hill, "look at those bottles on
the shelf. There’s more motive power in
each of them than in ten of Keely ’h 11111-
ehiueH. That's not condensed air that's
condensed lightning. It’s genuine apple
jack, straight from Jersey. And that re
minds that the first time I ever got so
drunk J oonldu’t walk, was on tipple jack
in New Jersey. I went over to look at
j-oinc fancy stock, ami the auctioneer had a
cask of tipple jack that slid down like new
milk. I was tired ami hot, and it ws so
good I kept on drinking, and the first
thing I knewl was so drunk I couldn’t
stand up'”
“But about the motor, Mr. Hill ?”
“Oh, yes, the motor. Well, 1 ’spose
Kecly thinks lie’s got a good tiling—let me
till yom glass. He runs his machine with
pressed air, does he V I have a machine
that runs with air, too, and the air don’t
have to he prosssd a bit. My machine’s a
yacht. If I thought this i upor in bottles
was good for anything, I’d feed to my
trotting horses all the time, to make them
fast. But 1 don’t take much stock in it.
Don’t give it away ; but between
you and me, T think its a hum
bug. If Keely’s got a machine that’ll run,
why don’t he run it ? That's what J want
to know. If the thing ever does go, as he
says it will, let him call on H. Hill, Es|.,
if he wants to sell his stock. But before
the thing starts humph, does ho think
we’re all fools V
People who are puzzled at the technical
phrases used in base ball reports are com
mended to the perusal af the following
definitions:
Field The cow pasture where iho leath
er hunting is performed.
Base -Halt bigs scattered around in the
grass for the players to jump on.
Nine—The miuiher of roosters in knee
breeches that constitute a base ball deck.
Umpire The chief bailer—lie bawls out
“strike,” His other duty is to sit on the
top of tlm but and smell the ball as it goes
by.
Judgment—The umpire’s opinion after
taking such a smell.
One ball—What the umpire soys when
the smell proves unsatisfactory.
Strike—A rniscue by the, batter.
I’ut out—The fellow who tries to get in
without paying fifty cents.
Dead ball- One which comes to life
again after being buried —iu the hands of
tin? pitcher.
Foul —A ball which bounds just the way
one is positive it will not.
Fair foul A little one for a cent.
Balk -“A breach of promise” indulged
in by the pitcher.
Stealing a base —Stuffing a bag in the
ear and walking off to the next, when the
catcher isn’t looking.
Beauty—A ball so hot that the second
baseman lies on his stomach to avoid it.
Hot ball—One that singes the short
stop’s head ns it goes by.
Fly—A ball which scorns the earth, and,
like the gentle horse fljj, buzzes around iu
the elevated atmosphere.
Wild throw—Slinging at the third base
man. and killing a small boy over in the
right field.
The Sicilians, of late so sharply over
hauled, assert that there is as much bri
gandage in the streets of New York as in
their own island. Is this merely because
they want to put the boot which encloses
them on somebody else's leg, or can this
thing be which they are saving ?
POOR CARLOTTA.
The Latl Mournful Days of the Widow of
Mh xlmltlun—The Hoiiimimc nml (lie
Ilea lit y of the Lifts of un InunneEmproi.
Rome letter to the Philadelphia Bullottin.
A month or six weeks, past there ap
peared in several of the European jour
nals an cxt-reruly interesting account of
the poor Empress Cnrlotta. It lms beet)
reprinted*, I see, in the American newspa
pers. I was talking of this account lately
with a personage who knows a great deal
of European courts and the private affairs
of royalties. This person said: “The des
cription given of the present life and hab
its of the Empress leads one to believe
that she is no longer insane ; she may be
melancholy, but she has her reason, and
is sternly refusing to hold communication
with the outside world, in which she suf
fered so much sorrow. Is Dot that the
impression it made nnon you?”
I replied in the affirmative, and. apro
pos, to the Empress’ mode of life. I told
my visitor a strange and interesting story
I. had heard that morning, pf a lady who
hud had son e fatal grief that had swept
away from her all human hope and help.
She was a woman of fortune, high culture,
learned, indeed ; she was singularly alone
in life ; all her near relatives were dead.
Bhe was about thir y-five years of age.
She lived in an elegantly furnished apart
ment ; one of the rooms was a fine library ;
all on one flat, en suite, ns is common to
European houses. She dismissed her ser
vants, for thirty years refused to hold any
intercourse with society, and led an en
tirely solitary life.
Every morning a confidential .servant
entered u door that was left unlocked at a
certain hour. She went into the bedroom
and put it in order, also the dining room,
removing the dishes of the preceding day,
and placed on the table the food for the
succeeding twenty-four hours ; but slid
never saw her mistress. Written orders,
made in the concisest, clearest form, were
left from time to time on the dining or
dressing table. Through these orders nil
business was directed, and everything was
provided that was needed by tho recluse.
The whole suite of rooms, except tho din
ing, sleej ing, and dressing rooms, re
mained strictly closed for thirty years.
People talked a great deal at first, but in
time the lady and her solitary life were
forgotten. The original confidential ser-
vant died, and another person succeeded
to the post, hut nothing chuuged tile hab
its of the lady—she was never seen by any
one. Thirty years went by. Then one
morning the servant found the bed un
disturbed, the tood untouched. She forced
the doors and searched for her mistress.
She passed through a long succession of
rooms. A thick bed of dost lay over every
article of furniture, a silent covering over
carpets and floors. Blit stright through
the rooms was a narrow, direct path to the
end room or library, a path swept clean by
the long trailing garments of tliat solitary
woman in her daily walk for thirty years.
It swerved neither to the right nor to the
left The servant followed the strange
path to the library. There she fouud her
mistress seated at a reading table in a high
backed chair. Her hands were folded
peacefully in her lap, her head was lean
ing back. The sad, worn old face was
calm mid still. She lmd, at last, gone to
that other solitude, death.
On the table were Homer nnd Virgil.
They seemed to he the only books she
had read, as the others on the shelves were
bound with the dust of years. There was
not one written line word left. The soli
tary thirty years had ended, aa they had
been lived, in solemn silence. The sor
rowing woman at last knew the Great Se
cret, which told her why she had been
called to suffer such keen mortal anguish
that it had snapped all bonds between her
and her kind.
After I had finished the story my friend
said, with u fine, scarcastic smile: “Yes,
this is very affecting ; but we must bring
ourselves buck' to earth with stem reali
ties. All such stories ure fables, and no
greater fables is there than this one pub
lished of the poor F.mpress of Mexico. It
is a pious fable, however, invented by her
frimlsto throw around her lust days an air
of decorous dignity that does not exist.
Their loving cure for her memory induces
them to send forth this beautiful romance
of an imaginary daily life, led by a beau
tiful, sternly sorrowful and refined woman.
I wish it were true, hut unhappily the re
ality is as revelling ns the romance is at
tractive. The Empress, instead of being
better in health, is worse, and her death,
it is believed, is close at hand. For some
time her insanity has taken the most
brutish form. She never leaves her lied,
and has all the habits of an animal. The
poor Queen of Belgium lias been unable
for two years, to hear the disgusting sight
of unhappy Caiiottu, but now, as she can
not live many months, the Queen goes
constantly to her. This is the sad truth.”
Anne Bkewsteb.
A Plucky Girl.
Borne painful incidents of railway trav
eling, lately published ill the papers and
still pending before the courts, reveal the
failure of ready cottnmiuiicution between
the passengers and the guard. These are
cords, and hells behind glasses, nnd wires
under seats; but whenever they are tes
ted they are found wonting, 'flic most no
table ease is one in which no less a per
son than the commander of H. It. H., the
Prince of Wales’ hussars regiment, Colo
nel Valentine Baker is accused of having
been concerned, and ho has been arrested
for an assault upon a young lady who hap
pened to lie bis solitary fellow passenger
in one of the compartments of one of those
curious vehicular traps which during the
progress of the train aro completely cut
off from all human communication. The
young lady assaulted by the Colonel could
not pall the bell-rope and summon the
guards, as there was no bell-rope to pull
and no other means ex is tod of making her
peril known. Bn she courageously forced
upon the door of the carriage and took
refuge outside, clinging to the window
casings and qcreaming violently for help.
In this unhappy attitude, and deaf to the
agonized entreaties of her thoroughly ter
rified assailant, she rode for several miles
before the train was signaled to a halt by j
observers on the wayside, when she was
discovered and rescued. It will, of course,
go very hard with her distinguished but
indiscreet admirer, who, it is thought, will
certainly join the Hon. Major Walter Har
board and other aristocratic Falstafiiaus in
their march to Coventry, if, indeed, ho es
capes the sterner penalty of hard labor iu
some of her majesty’s jails.
An old Roman amphitheatre lias put
been uncovered at Fiesole, near Florence.
wrr AND HUMOR.
Til-: fut man uf the Bible—Pauuchius
Pi-lute.
If you don’t bridle your tongue, saddle
be your fate.
‘'Letter go !” an the boy iciid when bo
luuiposted bis letter at tbo street corner. .
A contemporary calls bis items ‘‘‘Nita,”
to show that lie gets them out of bis head.
We should like to know bow that mao
in lowa broke his leg patting on bis over
coat,
Milwaukee parents never whip their
children, They tie their ears around a
bed-post.
We are told that nothing is made in
vain. How about a pretty girl? Dw’t
she maiden vain 1
A book has boen published, called
"Half Hours with Inseots.” Tho author
was a regular bonrder.
A young English lady in Paris has re
ceived over fifty lashes. She was bom
with them—over her eyelids.
"May heaven bless and keep vou from
your own trii-> love, Beniamin Herriok,”
was the way the le'lcr ended.
NO. 13.
Young man. when your intended strikes
at a croquet, ball and hits her favorite corn,
burst if you must, but do not laugh.
A watch maker wants to know whether,
if a man runs away from a scolding wife,
his movements should uot be oalled a
leaver escapement.
"Kind words nro wonderful in their
way, ” says an exohange, "but so far as
bail boys are concerned, a beot-jaek exerts
a more powerful influence.
Her hand was first to read- and drag
Tho bottle from Tlie .half
“It is your curse, John Dour," sho said
And drunk it all herself.
An exchange says: “Matrimony makes
a man see double." Old 81-mger says
whiskey will do tho same tiling, and don't
cost half ns much.
It has been settled by a oopi t oit west
that it is not legal for a mnn to hitoh his
wife tip with a mule, no matter how anx
ious be is to plow,
“I’m not much for shtnmp spakin,” said
an Irish candidate at Dubuque, “but for
honesty and capacity and integrity, I bate
the divil—so I do.
The laws of the road are paradox quite,
For when vou aro travelling along,
If you keep to tho left yoiir’o sure to bmriglit
If you keep to tho right your’o wrong.
An old edition of Morse’s geography
says: "Albany has 400 dwelling houses,
2,400 inhabitants, all standing with tneir
gable-ends to the street.”
The compositor who substituted an “m”
for a "w” in speaking of a lady troubled
with "swelling of the feet,” accomplished
the worst typographical feat an record.
The sou of clergyman was delivering a
college valedictory, when in pulling out
his handkerchief he pulled out a deck of
cards. "Holloa!” lie exolaimed, ‘‘l’ve
got on my father’s coat.”
There’s nothing so wonderful about
malleable glass that can bo hammered. A
friend of ours has a glass, still unbroken,
though he lias kept punch-iu-it at inter
vals for several years.
“Georgy,” said a benevolent old gentle*
man to the youthful sou of a family he
was visiting, “what aro you going to do
when you become a man ?” “Whale Joe
Perkins,” was the prompt reply.
At a spelling beo out West a young man
was required to spell and define the word
“hazardous,” which he did as follows:
“H-a-z haz, n-r-d nrd, hazard, e-double 8,
hnzardess—a female hazard.
A witness in a law suit described the
poverty of a field of corn us follows: The
crop was so stunned and short that the
toads could sit on their haunches and pick
bugs from out the tassels.
Josh Billings says: “Married life hag
its charms, and this is just what gives it
its flavor. Everybody loves to phool with
chances, because everybody expects to
win. But lam authorized to state that
everybody don’t win.
“Do you know why you are like the
third term ?” naked Busan Jane of her
brother, who lingered to talk to her Adol
phus after the o'd folks hud retired. “No,
I don’t.” “Well," she replied, "it is be
cause you aro one too many."
When two Pike county men aro about
to make a mule trade, the first question
asked by tho purchaser is, “What’s his re
cord ?” Boiler replies, "Throe niggers
and two dozen dash-boards.” “Here’s
your money,” and the now owner leads
ids property away. '
A Texas steer, animated with Cincinnati
whiskey, visited a rolling mill in that city
a few days ago, and after nosing around
awhile, concluded that a gigantic fly-wheel
was the only thing about the place worthy
of his’attention. Bo he pranoed into tha
fly-wheel, nnd his owner says that if he
can find ar piece of one of liis horns ha
will be perfectly satisfied.
Several Irishmen were disputing one
day upon their own best points, when one
said in an aggressive manner, “Faith, and
I’m a brick.” “And indade,”said another,
“I’m a brick layer,” and he fulled the flrat
speaker to the ground.
“Are you goingaiterthatsngar ’’’called
a mother to her boy, who was in the
street. “Am I going after that sugar?”
drawled the youth in a saucy and impu
dent tone, but just then ho happened to
see his father coming up behind him. and
he said very respectfully and lovingly:
“Why, of course I am, rna ; I didn't know
yon needed it right away,”
Gambetta and Roaher are universally
acknowledged in France to be the two
chief antagonists for power. The first is
the bond of the Republican, and the sec
ond of tho Imperial party. Buffet nnd
MacMahon are the men of straw, politi
cally speaking, whose short hour of rule is
destined to fade as a leaf. In all European
countries, as in the United States, there
are but two real, live parties. In England,
republicanism is contending with federal
aristocracy, and in Frunce against auto
cratic tyranny, represented by the Napo
leonic empire. Jn Germany and Italy,
mainly preoccupied with tlieir newly ac
quired national independence, there exist
in an native state only the party of Union
ists and the abettors of the old territorial
divisions, headed by the dispossessed
princes and Rome ; iu Austria and Russia,
the party of progress against the party of
old ideas. And so on with the minor and
insignificant continental countries. The
world is moving, nnd straw men are be
coming of less account.
Indiana has a stringent law against the
intermarriage of whites and blacks. John
Angell Miller, a German, and Mary Biins,
a riegroess, were married a few weeks ago
iu Floyd county. They and the clergy
man who performed the ceremony are now
in prison, and each is liable to conviction
and sentence to ten years incarceration,
or a fine of $5,000.
Henry A. Merritt a Troy lawyer, had a
, letter i eturned to him from Ireland with
I tho following written on the envelope: “No
1 man of the name of Lawrence Kyley, but
[ there is one of the came of Catherine J£yly,
wfeo says tire-letter is for her. ”