THE WEEKLY TELEGRAPH AND MESSENGER, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1884.
Cheaper than Stealing!
“I understand thfct burglars entered your
(tore lut night. Ur. leases?”
“Y», aber dey dond dr.Ice anythlngs.”
" Were they frightened awny 7”
*'Ya, der low bricea marked on dergoota
frightened dem avay. Itlme-by dey come
rount und bny der goods. Dot's cheaper
den stealing. Dot’s a t-velutTdollar coat;
take him for dhree dollar.” .
Why His Salary Mas Reduced.
N. Y. Star.
“I shall be compelled to reduce yoursal-
ary. Ur. Johnson, until cold weather sets
in,” said a mean employer to bis bald-
'•Why 7” asked the old fellow, with a
"Because I notice that a large portion of
the time which should be devoted to my
service is spent by you in fighting (lies off
the top of your head."
The Poor Surgeon.
Medical and Surgical Reporter.
A prince of nodical science advised one
of his patients to submit to a su gtcal op
"is it painful?" Inquired the sufferer.
"Not to the patient," replied the doctor,
“but very much to the operator.”
" Yes; because it is an. operation that
It'successful only about once In ninety
Pushing Hla Canvass.
gtmnger—Ah 1 my dear old friend, how
delighted I am to meet you; and how well
you are looking 1 Been away?
Jinks—No; but pardon me. sir, you have
the advantage of me; I
"And pray, how la your estimable wife?
Buch a charming lady, by the way. My
Wife often speaks of her.”
"fihe is quite well, tbsnk you; but, par
don me, you have "
"And those precious little children!
What darlings they are, to be sure. Bo
like my own. They are all well, I hope?”
“Very well; butpai ”
"Ah 1 I must hurry off. Don’t forget
ir old friend on election day. Here E
Whr Ha Visited Saloons,
“My. my 1" said a tempsrauce advocate
to a friend of hla whom he met coming out
of a saloon, "I didn’t know you went into
“Ah, Indeed? Then yon have learned
something this morning."
"Yes, and t am sorry I have learned it.”
"I don’t think 11 very wrong.”
“Ah. my friend, that’s where the barm
is. Your finer senses are blunted by auch
associations, and the demon drink is
changed in your sight to a beautiful siren
whose song transforms you Into a beast.
Wby, dear friend, oh, way, do you go in
those places ?"
"Why. really, old fellow, I can,t say un
less it is that the darned lalom-keepera
hare become so aristocratic they won’t
bring it out to a customer and let him
drink it ou the street I’m bound to have
. it, so you see I’ve got to go in after It’”’
Too Much of n Lady. •
New York Herald.
“la that a vail over your face, Maggie
Leddtr?” asked Jostle* Murray, as he
looked hard at a begrimed famtnlna who
was propped ua before the bar.
“Niver a veil, yer Hanne. ; it’s the eun-
boorn 1 got dnriu’ my lut visit to the Is
"How long ago was that, Maggie?"
“I came down yesterday, Judge, after
stayin’ there six months like a lady,” said
the prisoner, toring with a greasy lock of
hair that fell down ever her nose.
"Six mr nths more will do you good, my
girl," said Ihe Judge, benevolently, “(or
when yon coma out again yon’ll be ao sun
burned that yon can pan for a colored
woman, and then vou can turn over a new
"It’s little I care for the six months,
Judge, bat ss fur pusin’ msself sir fur a
black negur, I’m too muen of a lady fur
that, bleu ysr Hauner’a aweet tongue."
. West Virginia's Record.
From 1801, when West Virginia cut her
first vote for I’resldent, up to 1870. the Re
paid In u much sa fire dollars on Us capi
tal of five millions, but as it keeps no
books, the exact amount cannot bp aecer-
"The English-American Gold. Silver
and Iron Mining Company," of Alabama,
capital $600.000, owns an acre of stone
quarry, and its president is somewhere in
Mexico to avoid life in an American 1 -til
"The Milwaukee Racine and Far West
Mining, Banking, Navigation and Lumber
Company" has a capital of $3000 000. and
lias paid in enough to enable the president
to get new "hits" on the beets nf his of
boots, and a dozen standing collars.
Prom the Erratic Bill Nye.
Speaking about cowboys. Bam Stewart,
known from Montana to Oil Mexico a-
Bronko Bam, was tbe chief. His special
delight was In break ilie warlike heart of
the vicious wild pony of Ibe plains, and
wake him tbe servant of man.
There may be joy In a wild gallop across
the boundless plains, iu 'lie er sp morning,
on tbdKiack oi a fleet bronko; but when
you return with your ribs sticking through
S our vest, and find that your nimble steed
ss returned u> town two hours ahead of
you, there is a tinge of sadness about it
Bronko Sam, however, made a specialty
of doing all the riding himself. He would
not enter into any compromise and allow
tbe horse to ride him.
In a reckless moment he offered to bet
$10 that he cou d mount and ride a wild
Texas steer. The money wu nut up. That
settled it Bam never took water. This
wu true in a double sense. Well, he
climbed the cross-bar of tbe corral-gate,
and asked the other bays to turn out
their best steer, Marquis of Qjeensberry
As tbe steer passed out Sam slid down
and wrapped those parenthetical legs nf
bis sround thathigh-headed, broad-horned
brute, and he rode him till tie fleet-footed
animal fell down on the buffalo grass, ran
hla Hot red tongue out across the blue hor-
ixnn, shook his tail convulsively, swelled
up sadly and died.
It took Ssm (our days to walk back.
A ten dollar bill looks as large tome as
the alar spangled banner some limes; but
that Is an avenue of wealth that baa not
occurred to me.
I'd rather ride a buzz saw at $2 a day and
ltce-ITci ideal „
or by 2,123. In 1872 the Republicans sup-
' ported an independent Democrat (or Gov
ernor, and he was elected by 2.583, and
Grant oarrlad tbe State, From 18711 down
tbe Democrats have maintained an unbro
ken bold on tbe State. Tbe vote during
there years wu u (allows;
43.177 54,209 12,72*
4!,out ICO I
...+46,2U 57,:eji 11,111
.. 143,440 44,001 3,221
•The Greenback candidate received 12,3s.
♦Weaver. Greenback, received 9,070. I Repub
licans and Grrenbacken fused in support *
Ibe same candidate (or Supreme judge.
In West Virginia Congressmen are not
elected until November.
The Tallapoosa's Foa.
Broad smiles were everywhere notice
able yetlerdey morning, u citizens gath
ered on tbe etreets and wharvee watching
tbe grand old repreeentatlve ol tbe Beth
commercial fleet, the echooner James 8.
Lowell, slowly moving np th river on her
arrival from Portland, where tbe dis
charged her cargo. alter sinking the United
States junketing gondola and official pleu-
ure yacht, the Tallapoosa. There wu
a large hole (urward bearing a striking
resemblance to a smashed nose after
a pugilistic dispute. Tbit hole, which
wu covered with cenvu and vs-
rious white patches, detracted from the
usual nea. and handsome a.nneer.ru-. of
the echooner. Her rears, however, are
considered badgsa of honor, as with them
•be bu gained the title of tbe coasting
Sullivan ol tha Kennebec.
Bbe will at once be repaired and put In
first-claas condition at tbe reilwey, end
then go forth agtin upon the briny war-
path. It is rumored that ibe Navy De
partment Intends so keep e close watcb
upon the LoweU't movement, end when
■he leaves tbe river United btati-s ships
of - warwill be ordered off this coast
Detroit Free Press.
"Yes, I've been running over wbat they
call tbe Butler branch of the Wabash,
down through Southern Michigan and
Northern Indiana and Ohio,” said the en
gineer to the railroad editor, “and I most
lay, thongh I’ve been an engineer (or
over twenty years, it wan (or a time tbe
most Interesting and exciting experience I
"How wu that?” said the railroad ed
"Well, yon eee, though that Bntler
branch is in good condition now, it wasn't
a couple of years ago, and we used to
have more fan than yon could shske a
•tick at. I never knew how an engine
could be trained before, Tbe road wasn't
ballasted when they first pat trains on,
and I’ve known the cars to lop over so
that the wheels would only touch nne side
ot the track for a mile at a time. We ran
a sleeper on the passenger train for h few
days when tbe road was first opened, but
passengers would (all out of their bcr'hs
when the cats canted over and then
there'd be tbe dickens to pay. One night
an old maid fell out and the cars were
tilted overso at the time that she shot
right across tbe aisle ln'0 the tame berth
with ■ Chicago drummer. Yon ought to
have heard her squeal. Of course that
wouldn’t do; it made too many acsndals
on tbe tram, and so they finally took tha
sleepers off alto ether.
“The most fun. though, wu with the
locomotives,” continued the engineer.
“We used to train 'em in the round house
at Detrplt for work on toe Butler breach;
teach 'em to jump things and dodge
•round, you know. H C. Townsend was
Passenger Agent of the sold then, and be
took such an lntereet in the thing tbit
heusedto come over from 8L Louie
just to see the engines exercised He h td
great hopes that we could teach some of
the more Intelligent locomotives to swim a
creek, but we never got that far. So
'em got to be mighty knnwina, though. I
ran one myself that didn't mind it at ell
wi en the track on the Butler road vas
washed away, or anything of that sort
She used to turn nut and go around,
through a field and dodge the stump i on tha
darkest night She never got lost bui once
end that wu abont te > miles from Adrian.
Tbe track wu mostly under water and not
ot eight, u usual, and she mistook a coon-
MITCHELL MAKES A “KICK.”
He Says the Referee Was Prejudiced
New York Star.
Thera wu great excitement yesterday
amonReporting men over tbe unexpected
result of the sparring match between
Vilieh II and McC.ff ey. The backert of
the E-tglish champion were highly indig
nant at tbe decision that their man lisd
lost Tbe reeult wee the more aggravating
■nd even paralysing from the fact that the
knowing ones bed b’eu laying odds of
three to one on the losing man.
t.'uurley Mitchell wu surrounded bv the
usual nomlring crowds at Madden's sa
loon yesterday morning. Thaeinly sign he
bore of lbs encounter was a needy plas
tered scratch over his left eye. Madden
whs warm in bis indignation over tbe re
sult. Tn« r. porters had no difficulty in
netting at his opinions.
"It was a blasted outrage," said be.
"McCaffrey lick Charley? Why he can't
* hip one Hide nf him. Money talks, and
I've got 15,000 to bet on Mitchell for a new
' ’ riten you don't think last night's match
was stra ght? ’
i don’t. It was put up a.-alnst Charley
to give ibe fight egt lift him."
Mitchell stood near by, and the reporier
turned to him.
"Wtiatdoyouthinkof McCaffrey?” he
ihe British champion sneered. “What
do [ think of him?" said he. “(don't calt
him a tighter at all. He isn't one-tenth
die man tqat Sullivan is. In two rounds
mote I would have had him completely st
mv merer. The referee uecided against
me, though, and what could I do after
“Do vou think etill that you can whip
Mitchell looked Intense and speechless
disgust at this question. Billy Madden
chipped in and took up the word for 1dm:
"Does he think what?" said he. "I
think it, and I'll match Charley to fight
him right rounds at one day's notice for
31,000 a side and the gate receipts. More,
I'tl match Charley to tight him with bare
knuckle*, and have oniy four men on a
side to witness it."
“How do you make it out that the
referee was wrong?"
Whv the raa'ch was clearly a draw,
I it should have been so decided "
Madden was intensely di-guslcd, and
went on at length with much more ts k
' tbe same sort, in which he was backed
. by the bystanders all of whom were
firm admirers of Mitchell.
During tba day Mitchell called on Rich-
d K. Fox at the Coffee Gazette office. In
conversation with the patron of sports be
"McCaffrey is no fighter. He struck me
only one clean blow during the contest.
they had the referee fixed and there
was no cb ince for me. He is McCaffrey's
s toat friend. Why, for months he has
n writing him up as a victorious pugi-
fn his paper, the‘Cincinnati Enquirer.
was neither fit nor responsible to act In
euts had to b* devised for the grlndiog ol
earn. In 1822 a protracted heat was ac
companied by storms and earthquakes;
during tbe drouth legions of mice overran
Lorraine and Alsace, committing incalcu
lable damage. Iu 1:432 tbe heat brought
about cholera in France; 20,000persons
fell victims to tbe vi-itation in Paris alon*.
In 1810 the thermometer marked 125 de
grees in the sun Fiually, the summers «f
1800,1850,1869,1870, 18:4, etc., although
excessively hot, were not attended by any
How Blaine Get Along.
Coming op in e cable ear lest night from
Cottage Grove avenue, en elderly men re
marked to hia companion;
-They may but Jim Blaine, but I doubt
“WMr? wu tbe response.
“Weil, 1 judge the man bv the boy. I
knew him down in Penns. Iranis forty
yean ago. IU was a charming lad, and
be bad a way of gliding along the world u
if be wu creased. He end I were hauled
np in eeboal once (or steeling apples
dating rec-as. and we agreed
to tell the aome story and stick by each
oilier. When the teacher asked me what
1 bad to say I made tbe explanation that
had been agreed upon, not Jim elaborated
bit story a> greet length. He wu an ora
tor then u well u now, and when be bed
got through the teacher took me by the
'"lam pained to discover that you ere
a tier,’ and then he pelted me over the
hud with a ferrule. Just as 1 began to
holler Jim crept op to tbe teacher end
begged blm to stop, teeing:‘I’ll forgive
him, and hope you will. I bear him no
ill will.’ Tbe teacher wai so impressed
with his magnanimity that he bit me
once more (or luck and then ordered me
to my seat. It may be poeeib'a to beet
that kind of a feller, but be was' never
downed in those days."
Wafi Street Newi.
Clergymen, school Ueehtre, widows, or
phan! anil other guileless people in search
of profitable investments will please ma
a in te of the following;
“The Great American Silver Mining
Company of Nevada” bu a capital of
$U U)0,0<», of which ta bu bun paid in.
-m. Great Chicago, Omaha and Vir
ginia City Banting and Manufacturing
W in hie eyes.
"Toe Grand Pad fie Slope Arlesian and
aurigating A: t vdati j u” It auppoaad to have
try echoolhouse ior tbe elation. They had
the ecboolbnase lit up for ■ prayer-
meeting, end it took ns abont half a mile
off the mein line. Yiu ought to have
•sen 'e u Jump when the let oil her whis
tle at the echool-hoae* door. Well, the
deacons directed us beck to the track, but
wamia ed itsomehow. and when morning
cam* we were over thirty miles from l:>*
line! We didn't get back till noon. But
it wun't often that engine got left 8h«
got so uied to going acrore tha fields tba’
when we were pittty nearly on time or
■witched off at a station I've chased
deer with hr, just for fun. II
tell you it was a big thing for
the Webuh, the training them locomo
tives to go on tbe Bntler branch. France
Chandler Is passenger agentnf Ihe W bash
now and he wan't go over the road unless
therreln Isdrewn bv s iocomo lvethst was
lexerdeed on ihe Bu'ler brunc h—aye be
wouldn't trust any other to know wlnst to
do In case of an accident—and h 'a r ght,
too. You can just tie to one of them en
gines end know ynu'ro all right. L'e al
most a shame they've ma le that branch
in what r»lltosd men won'd cell good cou-l
I slitiou. It's a good thing in a business
Iwav. no ilniihr, h'O thes'-e - tt no sue*
place left (or making engines way up.”B|
Wanted to Bu the Mugwump.
St Paul Pioneer Prase,
I “Is Ihe mugwump in?" asked a Hnosier,I
E ing into Ihe wholesale house of Franklin
“This is a bu-itieaa house," answered Ihe
head man, “and nnt a political lies' quar
ters. You are evidently a stranger. You
will find —" J
"Now, don't you be too gotdarned fresh,
I reckon 1 know by bit. I want to see tin
i "This is not a ward meeting remit svnuil
Now. I don't wan' to be bothered with any
cranks, rbere'a tha door.”
"Look here, misier. I know where the
dour is, end I ain’t tucb a goldarned f <
; u you mought think. I see by the ms
papers that tbe men that rune tbit the bang
ties bolred Blaine. Now, if be bee, he'e a
mugwump, ain't be?" I
‘Tybeileve some people say that of a gen-
t'eiuan w ho acta upon bit owu conviction .,”i
replied tbe tuan in charge in hia politest
| “Weil, now trot oat the mugwump. 1'
emue mil Ihe w«y from Ini'anuy to -I
huu. t-iil goldertuil ef I'm gom' ba-ktill
I AtMB him"
A Veteran «JoumslistCare<l For.
Clkvklaad, O.. October 16.-John
Wr»t, one of the o de»t editor* of tbe We .
whoie abandonment to the city poor bona
by bis relatives »ai qot-d aorae weeka
W» »as aent to Cincinnati to-night. where
hli day a will pats in t»a>-cfn *n Institution
for tbe a$.ed poor. When Edwin Cowit *,
editor of tbe UaHer, beard of bit eondi
«®°»be a* i a acriptioo paper on foot and
railed 1600, which turn will keep tbe v*l
Peek \tuek lots of tha hair may —
&&£r ,,ud by tbe ore of Burnett'i
Thc superiority of Burnett's Flavoring
Extracts consists in their perfect purity
Frank Hurd Dafaatad.
Baaei'eav, October 15.—Newman
801 majority in tbla county. Frank Hurd
for Congress, la defeated by Jsom Rontris,
of Toledo, by 181 majority. Hurd was
•l.sughiere I on account of his Ires trade
views. Tbe Democrats Inlb eOHintve'rct
the enti e ticket by majorities ranging
from 400 to 1800, 8 8
PkRSOXS is billed (o e't'lrcss Utetliixt
of Green villa next Wednesday.
capacity of a referee
Then you think you can get away with
him, Charley, barring the referee?” said
he sporting editor.
Mitchell laughed through a frown as he
replied: "Yes. I do. I cau whip hint any
day at short tint ce, either with or without
al-iyet, Q lemteb-rry rules, to a finish,
London prize ring rults, just as be
hlense.". I want to leave now a deposit jf
$230 with Mr. Fox mini alia lengo McCaffrey
* i fight for $1000 to $2 500.”
He deposits I bis money and the chal-
ng- wits formally written oat to be trans
mitted to the enemy.
•There,” said tha bold Briton, "I'll see
it tbe next time that ihere is a referee
wbo knows tbe rul-a. who understands
boxing and wbo trill not give a wrong de
cision beeanse be ii afraid to Rive a fair
one. Wby, tbe referee we had last night
knows nothing about fighting and doesn't
snow fighting men. Why I would have to
kno k McCaffrey out before McCormack
would have given a decision in ray favor.
*' iu no tour-round dghter any way. Tnat
tbe furls of tha champion, fiullivan. My
(ortii is fighting to a finish, and that's the
way I'll light McOaOrey the next time.”
I.-eving hie challenge end hit money with
Mr. F x t > bind the new match, Mitchell
lair with hie friends.
At the Putnam Home, McCaffrey wu
enrrontided oy friends end admirers. He
bore no marks of Ihe encounter, and hie
boyish countenance wore the tame smile
tbet hid lantelli-d Mitchell tbrongbont
tbe desperate struggle in the garden.
When questioned heaald:
“I wou the fight—there's no use in lay
ing otherwise. It wai a hard one, to% I
followed Billy Edwards's instructions all
through. They were tbe wlu end cautious
kind, end they landed me winner, but I
now think if l hetf followed my own local
( could have got tba but ol it earlier.
Billy gave good advice, and was cautious
because he wu anxious l should win, but
if Mlicbsll ever nieete me again, I think I
■hail give a surprise in myetylaof doing
things. I vent to meet John L Sullivtn
' tat once, end then drop the whole bust
Alter the battle et tbe Garden had been
decided, Pete McCoy, wbo wee under the
influence ot liquor, made a little circus on
hia own socouut He went into McCaf
frey's druflng-room and began boasting
lhatbe bed "bested'' the Pttisbn:g man
in a • oarring match at Boston. "Billy'*
O'Bti-n, a fri-nd of McCaffrey, gave the
Intruder Ihe lie direct, whereupon McCoy
struck blm. and tbe two man clinched In a
tight. The byetanders separated them,
however, before anv harm wu done, and
McCoy left vowing venge tnre. This topic,
■dtlttl lOIhe Mitchell McCaffrey talk.made
sporting circles look all alive yesterday.
HOT OAVa OF THE PAST.
A New Orleans 'nvantor Thinks Ha Has
tha tona-tooked-for Ship.'
The world of to day is moving and ad
vancing in all directions of thonght, In
genuity and invention. From the discov
ery of the mysterious power* of steam to
tbe wonderful possibilities of the subtle
electric fluid u used by recent inventors,
the science of mechanics has sped onward
with amazing results. The mind and
thoughts of genius are ever at work for
still further accomplishments, and seem
to be constantly occupied in devising some
means by which to navigate tbe air and
ucend into the unknown regions that lie
(ar oil In tbe fields nf space. Who knows
but what tbe secret of tbe stars that make
tbe nights so beautiful mav yet be de
veloped and the war systems of the
world revolutionized. Once overcome the
difliculiy of going up and the coming down
Is simply a question of detire. Air-sailing
vessels as navigable in thc ether as the
present style are In the water, loaded with
exploeive and combustible materials that
can be burled upon the enemy, will cause
widespread terror and destruction. Then
rig these formidable war machines with
long, sharp-pointed steel rams, so they can
come down with tbe rapidity of an eagle
upon the men-of-war of the opposing
forces, driving tbelr Instruments of demo
lition through their decks or into thclr
sides, then quickly pulling out and taking
flight like some wlla mountain bird, leav
ing thc object attacked to sink with all on
board, Tbe possibilities are terrible to
Latterly two French scientists, Messrs.
Renard end Krebs, have constructed ■
machine to be directed by currents of air.
Now comes ayounggentlemqnof this city,
Mr. G. O, Gonzalta, 124 Ursolines street,
with theories, ideseand plans of an aerial
ship. Tbe body of tbe btiloon ts 60x20
feet, and will have a capacity of 11800 cu
bic feet ol gas. It is pisiform in shape,
having running through it a pipe frame
•nd containing a sufficient quantity ol gas
to counterbalance the weight ol the ma
The basket will be skiffshaped and con
nected with tbe balloon by four fixed bzrs
for the purpose of holding the whole sol
idly together. The motive power is to be
e five-horsepower engine making 300 revo-
I tions a minute and weighing only 200
pounds. Fifty pounds of fuel and eigbty-
four pounds of water, Mr. Gonzzles says,
will run an ordinary-sized machine for
three hours. There ate two propellers, one
in front and one behind, placed on either
eutl of ■ eb ift running midway bet:
tbe balloon and tho boat
The back propeller drives the machine
ahead, assisted by tbe pulling a-’lion of tbe
one in front, thus obtaining a speei of
twenty five miles an hoar. When once the
gas pipe is filled it requires no renewal or
replenishment, only m case of an acciden
tal escape. If this happens while the
vessel is on high tbe engineer merely at
taches a steam pipe to the gas pipe, thus
heating the gas contained the ‘
indenting Its aeriform qualities.
Directly underneath the basket is another
propeller, the workings of which raise the
vessel iu e straight line to any desired
height or bring It down In the emme man
ner. The lateral motion It given by e per
pendicular rudder at the back, tbe alant-
log. downward motion by a horizontal
rodder in front The entire weight of the
machine Is only 1.069 pounds.
Tbe Renerd-Krebs vessel has but one
ropeller, which Is attached in front ot the
lalfoon Itself, thne causing the working
apparatus, baskets and contents to hani
btiow as so much dead weight When no
in me tbe Gonsalas machine rests on four
light aupporta, which preventi it from
coming In contact with tba ground. Mr.
Gonsvea has, as yet, constructed no mod-
ala, nor baa ha attempted to make any ex
periments wi'h hit proposed invention,
but it positive that a ship constructed ac-
cording to hit plana will prove an astound
TRAGEDY IN THREE PARTS.
Only a dog, but be waited there
By tbe picket fence In tbe chill night air;
He heeded not the dying day,
He'd a job on baud and c-ante to stay.
He had seen a. strange pup an hour before
Boldly enterthe parlor door; -
lie had seen bis mistress feed him on pie
And regard blm withal with a kindly eye.
And the ■fog’s heart hardened; be feared that
Nolouger petted doggy would be;
So ho vowedveugeanee on tire upstart}
The Mighty Monarch of all Aggregations I
•TOHIY 33. DORIS’S
And eworo that night To would chew f
"sass. NEW MONSTER SHOWS
For bli shoes were long and bis trousers tight.
A Ilckly smile played on bis face,
Tic sucked hli cauc with ctrelc.ta grace,
And r marked, e> glaze In eye he stuck,
"ft ■ the softest snap I ever ztruck. ’
Water purified by electricity is the
very lateet You are dead sure then of
not drinking any microbes.
A medical enthusiast lias started a
peach cure near Wilmington, Del., similar
to the grape cure of Germany and the pear
cure of California.
While oiling a tlynnmo machine at
the Health Exhibition in Lor don on Sep
tember 27th, one of the workmen inad
vertently touched it with the oil can he
held iu his band and was instantly killed.
-Ix campaign excitements we tem
porarily lose sight of the crazy-quilt girl.
One comes to tbe front, however, who has
just completed her stint, 1.061 pieces of
neckties joined together by 21,399 stitches
—we should have said a good many more
thin that last.
The Methodist ministers of Troy
discussed tbe political issues of the hour
Monday, one ol them contending tbst tbe
Republican party declared for Protection
only to sheep. This brought from another
minister present tbequeztlon whether the
speaker didn’ like mutton.
The remains of aa English traveler
had been exhnmed (or interment in tbe
family vault When the coffin was open
ed the ipectatora started back in affright
Wby, these appear to be the remains of a
lion.” "Yes,” replied a nephew of ths
deceased, “that's the lion that ate him
uncle's inside of him.”
Timas Whan tha Itivara n»* the
Alf Wdi a F«ry Furnac*.
Thus far this season a stranger coming
to Boston end being told ihet owing to
th- change to standard time It wu Octo
ber here, would find IliUe In tbe tempera
ture to undeceive him. In tba midst ol
such coolness It Is Instructive to recall the
frlgb'ful heat of put years,
In 027 A. D, aocordlng to a Preach pe-
rio.ll. el, the heat wu so great In Francs
end Germany that all springs dried np;
w tier be sms to scarce that many people
•lied ol thirst In 879 work iu th# fields
bed to be glean np; agricultural labor
ers persisting in their work were (truck
down in a few minutes, to powerful wu
the son. In 990 tbe euo’a rays were ao
Hrrcw that vegetation wu burned np
uude-tbe action of fire. In 1.000 rivera
ran dry under the protracted beet; the
fieh were left dry in heaps end putrefied
its ■ few boure. The ateuch that ensued
produced Ihe plsgae.
Men end animals v-nturing in tbe
in the sumenrr of 1021, fell down dying,
tbe ihroitperched to a tinder and ihe
blood ru-hing to tbe brain.' In 1132, not
only did tbe rivers ary up. bat tbe ground
cracked on every side and became baked
to tba hardness ol atone. Tha Rhine in
Alsace nearly dried up. Italy wsa visited
by a terrific heat in 1.39; vegetation and
plants Were burned np. During the hauls
of Bala in I Or, th-r* were m ire victims
made by the run than by weapooa; men
fell down euoeiruek in regular rows. The
t-immerof 1217 wu also severe; there wu
an ebeo ute deer'h of forage. In 1615 tbe
beat throughout Europe became excessive,
ficotiand suffered lerticulerty In 1625
men and beats died in ecorea.
Tbe heat In severs! departments daring
the rammer of 1805 wu equal to that in a
glees furnace. Meat coaktba cooked by
manly exposing to tba aun. Not a aoul
dared venture out betwean noon and 4 p. m.
Iu 1718 many shops ba.1 to cluaa; Ihe tbea-
treat never opened tbeir doors for several
oioa the. Note drop ol water (ell daring
six months. In 1753' be tbe inometer rose
to lid degrees. In 1779the best et Bologna
Wee ao greet that a great number of peo
ple were eitffed. Tb-re wu not sndlcient
air for tbe breath, and peop'e had to taka
refug- tinder gr mnd In July, 1793, tbs
beet became Intolerant#. V-getabl-s were
htirnedup.and lislt dried up on the trees.
Ins furniture and wo -Iwork in dwell-
•ns boo-ea craesed and split np; meat
want bed in aw boor. The rivera ran dry
in several provision dtnLng Ull; expedi-
UNITED WITH THE GREAT INTER OCEAN.
Macon, Thursday, October 30th!
Nat Quite, but Near enough.
San Francisco Post
During the campaign ol tbe Pint Regi
ment et Santa Rose the pickets found con
siderable diffi 'ulty In preventing tbe men
absenting themselves without leave, a cir
cumstance for which the mint jutepe of
the town bar-rooms and the large contin
gent of pretty Santa Rosa girls—small
blama to them -ware chiefly accountable.
One particularly enltry evening, while
the untinels were pacing tbeir beets with
tbeir tongues fairly hanging out of their
months with best end wondering whether
tbe piratee in tbe meet tent would drink
every hit of beer before tha “relief” came,
one of the guards observed a private ap
proaching wbo wu staggering along un
der tbe combined load ot much conviviali
ty end an enormous T 'Jtermelon under bis
Who goes there?”
Kr—hic-er Iren," responded the tru
Advance, friend, end give the counter
Pretty toon the officer of Ibe day came
around, and laid to the sentinel, who wu
absorbed iu munching a hugs piece of
wa ermeion stock out on tha end of ble
"Did Perkins pus yon jut now?"
"Did he glra the countersign ?" inquired
the lieutenant, taking a bite hlmiell u the
man orcsenteu arms.
"Well, no elr,” said the sentinel, confi
dentially; "tba password wu 'Cholera,'
but be said'Watermelon.’ ao 1 passed him
and put tha othar half in your tent"
"Did,eh?" mused theofflcer. “Hum!
watermelon, eb? Well, I guess that wu
The verger at tho University chapel,
Cambridge, bu occupied bis piece for
many years, and when tbe bishop of Lon
don lately said to him: You have much
to be thankful for,” he replied: “I have
indeed, my lord, for I have heard every
sermon that bu been preached in tbe
chapel, for fifty years, and, bleu the Lo;il,
’ am a Christian still.”
The white missionaries among tho
Fljis have succeeded in introducing some
very peculiar usee of civilization among
tbe natives. They have taken to cricket
and play with great energy. The rival
clubs challenge each other and tbe games
are desperately contested. Each game is
opened and closed with prayer, and tbeir
challenges are imbued with a religions
spirit always ending "with great love,
The two-tailed rat has again made
ite appearance in tbe dime museums.
The animal Is not a freak of natnra, bat
the victim of antiseptia surgery. The tail
of • healthy rat ia cut off and inserted in
a V-shzpea cut in the note of a second.
Antiseptic dressings are applied, and the
(oar limbs tied to a little frame to prevent
scratching the new appendage. The sec
ond tell "(eta" in twenty-four hours, end
In lour days nervous connection is estab
lished. Thereafter the rodent guards ite
front tail as zealously u tbe other.
Until within quite a recent period
the Chinees soldiers had no uniform.
They were distinguished from civilians by
a little hedge which they carried on the
breut, on which wu written the word
Ping (warrior). The Chinese god ol war,
whose Image mty be teen in the temple of
Te-klen, st Pekin, it also represented In
an ordinary costume, without anything
military about it beyond the badge above
mentioned. Recently, when tbe Chineu
army wu uniformed in tbe
European atyle, tbe prieeta began to think
^■Hte Royally Racrod Wonder, THBOD9RU3, the White-Spotted fleered F.lephant eecored
forth': New Monster .Shows at great expense. The actual cost of this celebrated Proboscidian
is IOO,(HO Rupees. 50 Cago Menagorle. More anil Rarer Wild Beats than were ever before ex
hibited tinder canvas. All qusrters of tho Globe havo been ramacked for Wild, L'arntverous
Bouts. 20 open duns of Wild Beuts exhibited free of charge on tbe public strsots.]
3j GREATJJCIRCUSES, 3
Embracing 100 leading and undisputed champion performers In 3 SEPARATE RINGS. Tha
l* r *“e* t .“!«™ bl, » 0 °f Clrctu ealebrltlo* together In tho civilised world, including 14 REAL
BR 4WN Y TURKS, who will appear attired In their Native Costumes, presenting Thrilling Ac-
Vaulting and Leaping, Maneuvers on fliKh
ling HUMtN PYRAMIDS. 8
William Hhowlei.tho Champion of all Cham-
robatlc Achievement*. Athletic ^eaK Wonderful
lead den, and Herculean Exercise*, tho whole forming
8alblnra French Troupo of Btcvclo Rider*, *
tbe a iknowlcdged Champion* of the World.
Moore Family, Siberian Roller Skater*—Tb<
mo»t skillful lady and gentleman ikatersoi
The Charming Katamorpa, Queen of tho
Klffia Bey, the Dexti-ons Knife-Thrower.
3 Biegrlst Brothers, tho Greatest Acrobat*
"vlng or dead.
4 Ouofri Brothers—Musical Specialist*.
3 German Aoriallsts-Rudolph, Etcbeln,
Mile. DeGranvtUe, the Iron-Jawed Lady.
The Groat Eldora—Japanose Wonder.
Miss Antonio—Gymnlc Evolutions on the
81ack Wire and Instantaneous Costumo
plon Bare-Back Riders.
Salllo Marks, the Pleasing, Popular PetUe
Premier of tbe Arena.
The Champion Dog Circus—Digs that Talk
Sing. Langh, Dance. Pray Read, Play Cards,
Hold School and Smoke Cigar*. *
Mr. John Petterson.the Rambler from Clare,
Tom Ward, Champion Leapor of the World.
Mile. Llxettc—Ucrolno of Flying Kings and
In addition to theso there are an almost numberless lot of lesser lights, making up the
ter of the Best Circus Company throughout Space will not permit further details. For
: particulars see other publications.
Tlie Grand Free Street Parade
Takcyplace dally at 10 a. m , and surpasses In magnitude all other parades ever *ccn In
Amerlcaf It is nearly three solid mile* In Length, and requires nearly an hour to i um • given
point. Extensive arrangements have been effected for cheap rx union rates on all railroads.
Doors open at 1 and 7 p.
ONE TICKET ADMITS
TO ALL ADVERTISED SHOW#.
Performance begins one hoar later.
October 30* li.
not It beyond
, tyle, the prist
of living the god of battles a uniform; bat
Jast what kind of a ode to put on him wu
tbe puzzle. Whether to make him en in-
I't got no—hie—countersign,"
replied tbe private; 'bat I’U sr
five yer er—Kin—watcrmeUIn."
—George Smith ot the London Mer
ry Rovers' Bicycle Club lately made the
fastest run yet—ltO miles in ? hours 11
—Adam Forcpaugh, the well-known
■howman, wu married In Philadelphia
lut Tuesday to Mlu Mery O. Tetlmen, of
that city. The bride It 20 years of age, and
the bridegroom 51.
—Mr. Swinburne Bays In a recent ar
ticle that ‘George Eliot, tbougb not ex
actly ■ petticoat#.1 Shakespeare, was at
once something more ant something leu
than in Eugliab Balzac."
—Professor John H. Hewitt, ol Bal
timore. it eeid to be the oldest living grad
uate of West Point, He is eighty-nine
years of age, end wu a member of tbe
class that grades ted In 1818.
— 1 Theodora Roosevelt la said to have
astonished ilia Underfoot and even to
have gained an approving nod from the
grizzled hunter by hie proweu in killing
been out in the Yellowstone region re
—During tlie grand manoeuvre ol thc
Swiss federal troops it wai learned that
\ ictor Hugo wu staying at Ragatx, where
upon Colonel Pfyffer tent him apses allow
ing him tc Closely follow tbe troops, and
treated him to other courtesies.
—Dr. Deechamps assorts that the
microbe o( scarlet (ever ia a bacillus,
shaped like ■ heir with e long swelling of
janu, Particularly by tha new chemical,
—Mr. J. C. Cook, city editor ot the
Nashville Banner, bu upon exhibition In
that cit] aa egg laid by ■ brown Leghorn
pul let oo the Uib instant Tbe pallet wee
hatched on tbe4 li of July last, and wu
consequently only a few daee over three
months old. This, tays the IFortd, of that
dry, is about tbe only losta- ce known
■here.pallet commented laying at that
fentry soldier, a cavalryman, an artillery-
men, or an officer btlondng to the engin
eer corps nobody could determine, la
tbeir perplexity they referred the matter
to the minister of public worship, wbo re
plied: "Let the Image of the god of armlee
here the costume that he hu worn np to tbe
present dey, but hang up In hla temple uni
forms of eukinds. He blmwlf will choose
the one he prefere." This advice wu Im
mediately acted upon, and tbe retultis that
at the present moment tlie temple ol Te-
klen luoka like Ihe shop of e costumer or
the dressing room ol a set of strolling play
ers. The god la evidently not estisfled
with any one of the antformi, or et leut
be bu not u yet made up bis mind which
one to take
English aa She Is Spoke In Yankee Land
You »y “clever" wbex yon mean smart,
You say “»tore" when'you only mean
. shop. s
You say “canning" when you mean
tricky or cute.
You lev "now I went to know" whanynq
do not mean it.
Yon say "depot” when yon have In mind
a railway station.
The caramels which yon U)iok “lovely”
are oniy toothsome.
You find your eating “elegant" when you
mean Itia very good.
Tbe lecture which etrnck yon ss "per
fecllv splendid" wu in reality admirable.
Yon (bought you had a "reelgood time.”
bat yon only enjoyed yourself very much.
It you do not quite understand any one,
you look up in a blank way end uy
Whet yon laid wu “too good for any
thing," wu simply better than yoa thought
It would be.
Allix’s Basin Food botanical extract
strengthens the brain, and positively carat
nervous debility, nervotunete, headache,
unnatural losses, and all weakness ol gen
erative ay stem; it never fall*. $1 package,
6 for $5. At druggists or by mail from J,
II. Alien, 315 Flret Avenue, New York
October 27 and Lasting One Week.
The Finest Exhibits,
The Fastest Horses,
The Best Strains Cattle, *
LARGEST MACHINERY AND AGRICULTURAL
The Greatest Walking Match’!
Exciting Shooting Matches!
Skating Rink 1
PYROTECHNIC DISPLA YS
And all kinds of Amusements will make this the most inter
esting fair ever held in Georgia.
L. F. LIVINGSTON, President.
M. J. Hatcher, General Superintendent
7. jur 2
BEST TONIC. ^
. combining Iron with pare
Ml Bwfc ffcjlirM JpBIHMr
$ l>»•|H |iwl I, Indlyt ■lion, \\ rill*nt-**,
ireHtoods .'Inlurla,C bill*and Fevers*
remedy Air Diseases of tbe
Kt tbs muscles and mnrm.
Uc * 0 '
(r ism iMjfhi 11 uTs,* **j <OT< ^
Don't waste your money on cbrmp M »
chineiy. Thousands lost every y»*nr bj
buying third-class (roods. Come and s<*«■
or write and at pncca.
PlYe Lidding Krnrinea and I'-au Millsl
Three I5< *t Otai.
Two B<*^t Grbt Mills.
Superior 3- Holler Cam* MM.
Beat Mowers, Davis's Wstsr Wh**cl.*
TheaepMulH took premiums at Atlsa*
ta and Louisville over the lar>^«*^t *lir*t$la*>
of F : ►' rit s tun! M.u tiHii<-r\ et>r unul* ib
the United States.
Bum^es and Warms from the leading
UuMx*r jilting—largcht lincof any house
M. J. HATCH Kit Sc CO., General Agents,
Corner Fourth and Poplar streets, Macon, u*.
OF THE LARGEST AND FINEST STOCK OF
CLOTHING AND HATS
IN THE STATE, AT
WINSHIP & CALLAWAY’S.