Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE WEEKLY NEWS AND ADVERT TM ALBAN Y ADVERTISER,« \CoB*nU<t»tcd Sept. 9,1980, by | E , McIntosh k Evan. A Family and Political Journal Dkvotkd to the Interests of Southwest Georgia. Volume 1* ALBANY. GA., SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1880. professional Cards. James Callaway, Attorney at Law CAMILLA, GA. Tarantula .Joe: A auxtnre or Comedy. Tragedy, «nd Porre. BY W. C. MORROW. The atory is told, in San Jose, that one evening in August, some three years ago, a stranger made his ap pearance in that city, and shortly thereafter created n breeze in socie ty circles. He had wandered aim lessly about the streets for two or three days, speaking to no one, car- Jas. H. Spence, Attorney at Law, CAMILLA, GA. WiU practioe in all the counties of Al- ing for nothing, lie was a young baay Circuit, and in ths 0. S. Circuit and man, and might have been consiilor- Dutriet Courts for the Southern District - ed unusually handsome if his clothes ofGa. _ . , „ . | hsd been good; but they were old, ftrOOe* Up-stairs, over TuittyACul- j , n ,j mdcil, and threadbare. There P1W*- teb.J I cou | ) j no mistaking the fact that IAHDim COLLECTION UBH. i *»t;SsC2&'T£5X i merit and poverty, lie was tall and ; straight, and had a distinguished look. On the evening of about the third day he was accosted ou Ssau Fern ando street by a man exceedingly drunk. This man was called ••Tarantula .Toe," but some of the boys persisted in addressing him as ‘•Tarantula Juice’’—not a very appropriate appellation, but one which was indignantly resented by Joe, who was a tighter from Tuol umne, and who boasted among his numerous other exploits, that in early days he had frequently rolled a b’arreil of whisky fifty miles a day, and taken a drink every time the bang turned up. ‘•Hello, stranger!” he said to the seedy yonng.man. Joe was every body’s' friend, but had a strange way of showing his friendship when lie "was drunk. “Whatyerprowlin’ ’round here in that hang-dog sty!c fer, a-skeering people?” ••It’s none of your d—d business.” replied the mcck-looking stran- H. C. SHEFFIELD. ATTORNEY AT LAW, ARLINGTON, GA. JVWOd Lands looked after and Col lections made in the countie* of Early, Hiller, Calhoun aad Baker. f#b2$-ly Trowbridge & Holllnshed DENl'ISTS, WAYCB08S, GEORGIA. Teeth axtractad without pain. All work wanaeed. tea, modeimje. Will *e vWenewB. A A. aad a. T. a W. RaUraada JOSEPH A. CROXK, ATTORlTSTatLAW 111 BAY STRBZT. SAVANNAH, GA. apMTTla Z.J. ODOM, ATTORNEY AT LAV, ALBAJTT, OA. dlHi—.knioactaU.atpocialtT. WUlat- kJOd fKxataj u> CHuOMa«»lni«M lohueara. W. T. JOSES, 1 ESSE W. WALTERS. JONES & WALTERS, Attorneys at Law, ALBANY. GA. W. A. STROTHER, M.D. ALBANY. GEORGIA. Office oyer Gilbert’s Drugstore Dr. E. W. ALFRIEIs D THE JOHNSON HOUSE, MITBVIU.E. OA. Is the place to stop and get a GOOD SQUARE MEAL. MARKET SQUARE, SAVANNAH, GA. Bates |1.50 to |2.00 per day, according to location of rooms. JOSEPH HEHSOHBACH, April 39,1880—ly. PROPRIETOR THE ALBANY HOUSE! Herrick Barnett,Proprietor Albany, Georgia. flUxi* Hotue is well furnished and in *v- 1 ery way prepared for the accommo dation of the traveling public. Entire sat isfaction guaranteed. The table is sup plied with the beat the conntry affords, and the servants are unsurpassed ir. po liteness and attention to the wants of guests. Omnibuses convey passengers to and from the different railroads prompt ly, free of charge. Charges to suit tl;< time*. sep20 tf A. S. NICHOLS, Jobber slid Retail Dealer in SI# 141s wards! I ip*sn burine* Mj t-rmn are Cub of ell j acesptsao*. For this caum 1 expeet to give Bargains. fend s C. O. D. EXPRESS ORDER, Corned from tbe market wnb a fall stock. JEL. S. ECHOLS, HZ VANN All, GA. get. Joe was .not the man to brook such an in9nlL The stranger at tempted to pass on, but Joe stopped him. “See here, young feller, do vor know that yer .-tacklin' lire wu-*t man iu'this town ? An’I’m on the light bigger’n a wolf. Yer miser able cockroach-eater, I’ll—” But he never did. He thought a brick bad struck him, but it was only the stranger’s list that laid him out on tire sidewalk. If there was one thing that Joe respected above all others, it was a man who knock ed him down. As he scrambled laboriously to his feet, his breath considerably shortened, he found himself face to face with the stran ger, who had done the square thing, in Joe’s opinion, by not fol lowing up his advantage while Joe was down, but who neverthe less assumed a posture so aggres sive that Joe became aware of gloomy probabilities. So he began to temporize. “Can’t yer take a joke ?” he said holding out of his hand, whiclt the stranger grasped. Joe eyed him in absorbed admiration. “Who’d V thought,” he said, •tlict a slim spider like you—hog gin’ yer pardon ter callin’ yer a pider, which yer ain’t a spider— could Viet out so strong?” And with his left hand lie felt the stran ger’s right arm, gauging the mns- '■!o. “Quicker’n a grizzly, too,” he ulded. So they immediately became fast friends. Joe proposed that they take a drink. The stranger acquiesc ed, saying he hadn’t had a square drink for some time; but be was considerably shocked when he dis covered that lie had to.pay for the liquor, Joe being in his chronic con dition of pocket emptiness, and the stranger evidently hated to part with the money. Then they became very communicative. The stranger told how he bad such a run of bad luck that the world seemed dreary, and there was nothing to live for. Joe spoke words of encouraging consolation; and, at a last and purely conventional expedient, urg ed the stranger to marry some rich girl and settle down. Joe explain cd how easily it could be done. His friend had brains, good manners, nerve, and good looks—all the neces sary requisites for doing “the cor rect thing.” The stranger was modest on that score, but Joe clung to the proposition, saving that man with such a style could marry any girl in Christendom—and half dozen, in fact, if he wanted the money. All that was necessary was unlimited cheek and a well-arrang ed plan. They parted late. “Sir!” “I requested merely ” “Who are you ? How dare you ?’ “I am simply a gentleman i I- “But yon have tnadc n mistake, don’t know you.” They were standing on Saida Clara street. She spoke in rather a loud tone, and the strange betrayed a little nervousness and dread that ihe passers-by might interfere. ‘•I have not intimated,” he said “that I am so fortunate as to be known b» you. It was the very dc sire to know you that impelled before site rejected his advances summarily. That is true, sir,” site said, “I have no doubt. But that is no ren- son that I shouldn’t put an cud to tnis interview by saying, once for all. I decline your escort.” Iter tongue uttored theso words. Her eyes said : “I dare you to try me a little further.” lie heard the words, but saw the look. She felt the superiority of this man’s will. She turned to leave,scornfully. He promptly stepped to her Side. Of course she was greatly angered at (his persistent impertinence, and, turning upon him with flashing eyes, she said : “I thought I laid sa : d enough, ir, to put a gentleman on his honor. You place me in a falso position. Your impertinence is extremely dis tasteful to me. Please leave me.” So said her tongue. Her eyes aid : “You haven’t got the nerve to go any further.” He said (as by this time they were walking slowly along): “You miscontnic me entirely. Let me explain thy motive, that you may understand my apparent rude- I am a stranger; 1 have no friends here. I liavo been unfor tunate. There was such a kind* womanly, sympathetic expression in vour" face—please don’t turn away. Thank you. Apart from the oiisideration that you should have an escort over tiie Guadalupe bridge You know where I live, then, it seems ?” “Certainly; and your name also.” “And voii a stranger here ?” “Absolutely.” There was' such a delicate little omplimeiit concealed in this that he was flattered. “I was saying,” lie continued, that apart from that necessary consideration, I did not think it/ would be wrong, or that I was lack ing in respect, to speak to you, to be a few moments with voii, and then leave you forever. I put it to von. as a reasonable, sensible wo man, whether or not I appear to do anything in violation of a man’s proper regard for things that should le handled tenderly aud sacredly. I am separated from every face and scene that has heretofore made life pleasant. I am a stranger in a -trangc country, and it is with shame that I admit timt the ap pearance I make precludes my entry into society congenial to my tastes. I am lonely and desolate, hunger ing for a kindly look, and it is >nlv desperation on tlial account :lint forces me to approach you. And then, vour face reminds me so strikingly of my mother's that I could not resist the desire to hear your voice also. This fellow was a born diplomat the girl was about 18 or 20 years of age. Of course she was hand some, and had a sweet lace. The young man had the hearing of n polished, though unfortunate, gen tleman ; proud, but with a pride tinctured with sorrow and loneli ness; calm, slow, erect, anti pos sessed of that ability to look steadi ly and undauntedly into the eyes of a woman—that has more weight as expressing power and superiority than all oilier tilings combined. The girl was touched with pity, and spurred by a desire tor an ad venture. She had strong self-reli ance—the ruin of nine-tenths of the California girls that arc ruined. I really don’t know wliat to do,” she said. ' I don’t believe,’’ replied tlic stranger, “that a woman with as much strength and character as I see in your face would naturally lay as much stress on conventionali ties as would those of shallower feeling.” Daring this time they had ad vanced a few steps. The girl looked at the ground, confused. The man at her side was evidently a gentle man. He was in distress, was re minded by her of his mother, bad no friends—perhaps was in want. Poor fellow! But what would her friends think of an escapade? Nev ertheless, after hesitating a moment, she admitted that she had been conquered, by saying: “I’ll grant your strange request, sir, though I’m afraid I’m doing wrong.” It is somewhat -singular that, at timt particular moment, it- did not occur to her that the street-cars passed over the terrible Guadalupe bridge. Kiithcrinore, nobody was ever known to require an escort over it. After introducing tlicni- scives, she commenced to tell him about her fear ill crossing tlic bridge alone at night; ai.d he said ves, lie had heard that it was con sidered a dangerous place. They were both terrible liars. His name was Hardy ; licrs, So- phronia. Her father's name was Morris. He was a rich, kind-heart ed old gentleman, who had a man sion on the Alameda. As tiie two passed the poal-ofllrc corner, a pair of bleared eyes wink ed quietly, and a couple of wliisky- lasting lips grinned sardonically. They belonged to Tarantula Joe. FOB SALE. A[f>r u, CURES LOSS 0T APPETITE •ouMtMersrauflf UWifS’WGflfttTS roUL 8RCATM tmtp*o4ar*vum ITS. 4&I VEGETABLE ife*. DYER MEDICINE Is ttjrrars tbe oldest, sad only genuine Hlm- “I don't understand you, sir, I’ll call an officer unless you leave mo instantly!” “Such language humilatcs me ex ceedingiy, madaine. Accept my humblest apologies for having caused you any uneasiness or fright The street thronged, and any on would protect you against any indignity at my hands. I beg you to wail just a moment, that I may i explain myself.” ; “But to be seen standing in the j street conversing with a man of ; your—your—appearance!” “Madame, if my face is crimson ! at that cruel remark, it is merely evidence of a weakness that I am I unable to conquer—call it pride, if you please, f regret that my pov erty obtrudes itself, obscuring everything else.” A look of pity appeared In the girl’s eyes, and although she evinc ed in her attitude of impatience a j strong desire to be left alone, her ] original feelings of fear and repugn ance gradually melted under the firm, deliberate, polished, geiitle- As soon as tiie couple got under the shadow of tlic wall of Notre Dame, llardy placed Soplironiu arm within his own. She did not object. He entertained her mar velously well. IHs knowledge of the word was extensive, and bis ed ucation good. She began to Lhink he was an angel in disguise At the cast end of tiie bridge there stood a idll-hoard. When the two passed lliis, and were well on I lie bridge, a shadowy form, scarce ly perceptible in the darkness, emerged from behind this board and crept noiselessly after them. This sneaking person carried a club III his hand. Stepping rapid ly behind Hardy, lie raised his deadly weapon and brought it down witli a heavy blow on the young man’s head. There was a dull, crashing fluid, and Hardy sank wills a groan. There was a slight convulsive contraction of bis mus cles, a gurgle, nud all was quiet. The girl heard the blow, and saw her defender stretched at her fi She was instantly rendered power- 1 fKuiein«rnow on the msrinft. frcnainl manly hearing of the man. The less aud speechless by a sickening moiu,M.A. Patnplaso-eratandti/*bottles dignity that would have made a and brutal hand dosed upon her by «udrracMs- California girl, with a spark or ad- throat, stopping her breath. Other Txtn-Is [ venture and romance, think twice j shadows emerged from the dark ness, a dozen strong linnds seized her, and before she had time to offer a resistance that would have been useless, u gag was thrust into her mouth, choking her. So intently had the highwaymen been engaged in rendering tiie girl helpless and robbing tier of her jewelry, that they did not perceive llardy stagger to his feet. Ho was dazed amt uncertain. The blood poured down ills face aad saturated his shirt. A glance at die strug gling forms brought him slowly to his senses. Has she any money?” demand ed a grutr voice. 1 can’t find any.” Take those rings ofl hor lingers. God! how she struggles! Is i t that a watch ? ■ Snail on to it. Pull out sc ear-rings—quick 1” l can’t—don’t know how they are fastened.” “Tear ’em out, then—you; and hurry up.” At*that moment when the robber grasped tiie ear-ring to pull it rude ly through tlic lender flesh, a heavy club descended, crashing upon liis shoulder. llardy was awake. He had seized tiie club, which had dropped upon the bridge, and was wielding it with a merciless desper ation that only tlic protection of so precious a charge could Lave in spired. The robbers turned upon him—five in number. Quick as a cat, and before they could recover from the surprise of an attack by a man who, to all ap pearances, had been killed he felled another with a heavy blow upon tiie head. Tlic ratnaiiiiiig foui- rushed upon him before lie had. time to raise tiie bludgeon again, overpowered him, and bore him down. The club was wrenched from his grasp after a desperate struggle, nud laid witli deadening blows and with terrible eflect upon liis face and breast. One of tlic-ruflians drew a knife to plunge into Hardy's breast; but the young man struck it from liis hand, seized it, and drove it into i lie throat of the nearest robber.— This man fell witli a gurgling noise, strangling witli blood. Hardy struck about him wildly with the knife, and tiie robbers sprang away to escape the cruel steel. lie regained his feet, and attacked Ids assailants; but a strong blow witli tiie clenched hand upon his arm caused his weapon to drop from liis grasp. The two men closed, and a determined struggle ensued for the possession of tiie knife. The others darted to seize it, when a kick in tiie face from Hardy’s boot stretched two of them .full length upon tlic bridge, The contest on botli sides was desperate. It was no longer rob bery, but murder. Tiie girl at tempted to render her brave com panion some assistance, but site was xrntally thrust against tiie railing. By a dexterous kick Hardy suc- ediug ill sending tiie knife ofl’ tiie bridge; and immediately thereaf ter, having pushed his a.sailant against the outer railing, suddenly flicked him up mid thrust him head oug into tiie mud beneath. It was fall of fifteen or twenty feet. Tiie remaining robbers, evidently discouraged at tiie determination mid immense strength of Hardy, aud disgusted with the enterprise that had already cost them so dear, were easily put tollighl by the ap pearance of a knil'e that llardy whipped from liis pocket. He was master of the field. A dead body remained. He quickly removed the gnj from tiie mouth of the almost, faint ing girl. He restored to her what jewelry had dropped. Thu blood covered bis face. “You are seriously hurt,” she said, as soon as she could recover her speech.” “It is nothing,” lie replied, wip ing the blood from his face. ‘•Nevertheless, he walked mislead il} ? ns they proceeded, and was at length compelled to stagger against a fence, and lean upon it for sup port. Every noble and generous feeling in the girl's heart w aroused. There was no longer any ceremouv between them. She put her hand caressingly on liis face. Then she took it away and looked at it by the light of a distant lamp. It was.stained with blood. Soon he regained liis strength, and they continued on their way. They stopped before the gate. “Come in, she said; “tins shall lie your home until yon are well.” And she added, somewhat embar rassed, “Yuu'are a hero.” “Thank you. I must go. Good night.” You innst come in. I shall nev er forgive you ifyou don’t. I may never sec you again. “Perhaps, not, lie said bitterly. This made her thoroughly deter mined to detain him. She had a strong will, hut liis was a stronger. -She became almost angry; llicn she bit her lips in tlic dark, and ini- ploicd him to remain- “lie declined, ill a respectful, kindly way. “Well, then,” she said, “where do you live.” “Nowhere.” “Please tell me.” “Nowhere,” “Will you let me know to-mor row ?” “I don’t know.’, “Please do.” “Perhaps. Here is a street car. Good night.” Then she did a very foolish tiling. She threw her arms around liis neck and kissed him. lie left, doubly a conqueror. There was a treinenduous ex citement over the affair. Tlic police were informed as soon as the gift’s father could hoar the terrible story and reach the police station. Tiie officers could find only a quantity of blood on tiie bridge, the body having been removed. Rigorous search for several days failed to re veal Hie identity of (lie robbers. Several arrests were made and the strictest vigilance iiiuintaiiied, but without avail. Another mysterious development was the disappearance of Hardy. He could not be found. However, •n the second day tiio old lamily physician of the Morris household came panting lip the walk in great “I have found him,’ She turned pale witli' excitement and joy. “Where Is lie?” she asked breath lessly. “Jump into mv buggy and I'll take you to him.” Slni did so. They found him in a small, dilapidated adobe house ou Market street, with a Spanish fam ily. He wns delirious, nml in a high fever. Tiie girl sat down by ilie bed, took liis hot hand in tiers, mid before tiie old doctor knew what was coining next, she com- nieiiced lo cry. Then she kissed Hardy's hand. The old man took her home, and site came twice a day to see him, bringing her fattier or mother, and always taking some delicacy, and doing whatever a kind and gener ous heart could suggest. Gradual ly lie recovered, and as soon us ho could be moved lie was taken to her home. There he became entirely well. By liis patience aud geutle- iss lie won tiie hearts of every one except tiie girl’s, iter’s was won already. Time slipped away. Hardy was established in business by tiie grate ful father. Poor old .Tarantula Joe, who, unaccountably, seemed to be a great favorite with the young man, was allowed to sit in the kitchen and drink a dozen bot tles of champagne on the night of the wedding ofSophronia Morris to John llardy—a brilliant affair, by the way. A few mouths ago Hardy was reading the morning paper when a bright ray of sunshine came iu through the door. It was Hardy’s wife, the happiest and proudest woman on the Alameda. “My dear,” lie said, “have we liv ed happy these two years?” “Why, John—wliat a question.” “And you have never rcgi-jtied the persistence of a seedy stranger on Santa Clara street two years and a half ago?” ••I regret nothing, John, and you know it. 1 didn't know wliat life was until I met you. But, oil! that was a terrible night, wasn’t it, John ?’’ “Awful!” lie ejaculated, with a broad look of mischief in his eyes, “What makes you look that way, John? You arc so provoking!” “I am a villain, dear.” “What do you mean ?” “Do you remember the robbers ?” “I think Ido! They nearly killed you.” • “They were friends of mine dear.’’ “John!” she exclaimed, stunned. “Absolute true. Old ;Tnrantula, Joe and I put up the job, so that I could clean ’em out, become a her/i, and then marry you.” She stared at him astonished, shocked and incredulous. “John!” “It’s a fact,” he said, laughing ns lie saw her anger rising. Shu wns utterly stupefied. Then a quick light came into her eyes, she knew lie was joking. “You are fooling me John. Y'ou know that horrid club nearly killed “It was made of paper,” he ex plained, still laughing. A gloom again stole into her face, hut it was immediately dis pelled by another recollection. “But your face was really bloody.” Joe got that for me at tlic slaught er house.” She was thoroughly puzzled, not knowing wliat to think, •‘But, John, those were real hurts on vour head and face. I saw them myself. There now!” “Yes? nud can’t you imagine how I reecived them?’’ She thought siic had him corner ed, but tlic look of confidence ill his face disheartened her. “Well, how tiiPii ?” she asked, petulant and despairing. “You remember tlic fellow I pitched into the mud?” “Yes—well what?’’ “When I went back to join the boys and have a good laugh over the affair, and to report progress, this fellow met me, mad as a Tjtrk for spoiling liis clothes, and nearly breaking liis peck. You sec, it wasn’t oil tiie programme for me to pitch him over. That was going it a little too strong; but X.couldn’t resist the temptation. raPItntula Joe said I’d have to fight him, as 1 hadn’t done the square thing. We went at it, and lie gave me tlic worst licking mortal ever had.” This was really so rich that the young wife made the house ring her laughter. “I’m glad he did—you mean old tiling! I wisli lie had beaten you half to death! Ila! ha! ha! so you wouldu’t come into the house because you had no wovnds, eh ?” “Precisely.” “And after you did get that thrashing you turned it to account hv getting our doctor, I suppose?” “That’s i lie idea.” She laughed a while, Biinicwliat hystcrie-illy, nml got up nml slapped him, ami then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. “What did you tell for, you— fraud 1” “Because Tarantula Joe wanted to put on too much style, uml was blackmailing me outrageously.” TUB VOICE OF THE RADICAL PUERI. What the “Esenins Commercial** Uaa to May—What the Hesnll of the Election means. By Teicgri|>b to tho Morning Novi. New York, November 3.—The Evening Commercial (Radical) has the following: “The great victory that has been won shows that the people ofiho Northern States uro true lo the principles for which Grant, Sher man, Garfield and Hancock lought. There were other issues, hut this was the great overpowering one. Tiie tariff played a part, hut was it not fear of tlic South that brought ihe tariff questions oui ? The South as managed to day is aiiisgonisiic to ihe Norih in all its part-. The demand for tree trade comes from tiie South; the changes asked or were first heard there, fl was he determination that the South should not rule this country through Han cock, Bayard or any other Northern man, tlial brought about the result of yesterdry. Men may deny this, inav sneer at tiie “bloody shirt,” and prate about tlic war being over, but these arc facts, and cannot be disputed.” The Evening Poet, in tlic course of its leading editorial oil the result says: “There was still a more po tent reason for the inefficiency of the Democrats and that was their want of definite policy and their faithlessuess to such fragments of the policy as they had positively avowed. The party in opposition, whicli invites the people to abandon the pertv in power, has two things to do. it must .prove the party iu power cither ihcorelicalty or prac tically unworthy of the trust, and it must provide a consistent and at tractive scheme, and measures wherewith to supplant the incum bents Now the Democratic parly was an opposition, and no more. It had a great deal of mistakes, miscarriages and positive offenses, but it had nothing to substitute that was better. On all tiie questions of legislation, likely to arise, it was quite at sea. As to the finances, it coalesced freely with the addle headed teachers of the paper money gospel, and it did so in the face of its own most honorable traditions.” LBCTUHB ON FOOLS. Do Not Fret, Henry Ward Beecher. “Men get out of order by exces sive industry, from steady watch, from care, and so render morbid the whole nervous system and for the time being will draw fear from the future. Too much is too much of anything. Some men are born hopeful; they go upon life exactly as a buoyant boat floats upon the waves. It goes up when they go up, it falls when they fall, but it is evermore bn tiie surface, I have known men bankrupted and they came up next morning smiling. Then there are other men whose hopes is at a minimum. The future is never radiant to them, tine great fault is* throwing info tbe future inflamed desires. It is not wrong for men to desire riches, Certainly it is not wrong to desire that wliicc is the principal motive to industry. But if this is carried to an excess men become mean, detestable. There are multitudes of men that never think of enjoy ing themselves while they are ac quiring riches. They put it off to the future and they live in a per petual anxiety and over Ihe acquisi tion of property. Property is a very good tiling, but it never had a value that jnstilied a man in sacrifi cing his happiness or liis soul for it How many men there are suffering care as to how their children should stand in life, hew their family should stand, and if next year they shall bn aS prosperous as they are now? How many persons there are that brood and brood unnec essarily as to the future of their children, fearing that they may not turli out well. ‘He lias told a lie; he is on the road to the devil.’ Well, I don’t believe there ever was a child that did not lie. It is part of their inherited nature, and it is an evil, and a great .evil, and is to be plucked uj> by tiie roolfP*T, when I go into my garden, never cry aud sav: ‘There are so many weeds! I am never going to have a garden, never, never, never!’ I dig up the weeds and say, ‘I will have a garden.’ And so parents fearful of their chil dren may take courage. }(o\v as to tlie remedy for tiie evils that grow out of this caro tor the future—and first we must put tlic direct resist mice of the will. It makes a great difference whether a man takes a poker liy the hot end or the cold end. There must be a vigorous tie termination that you arc not called lo joy; that all tiie universe is made for you, and that you will not sub mit yourself to tliu degradation and bondage of perpetual intrusive fear; tlial you will say, ‘I will not permit myself to suffer.’ The heal way of escaping all these carping cares is to trust in the Lord. All tliiugs -fire for you.” The flashes of tlic voletjnic light ning which have been observed at a distanco <’f a few hundred yards from one of the craters of Vesuvius are described by M. I’aliuinri as always originating ill wliat lie terms large globes of smoke follow ed by explosions like pistol dis charges. Similar flushes were notic ed between the smoke and cinder masses ami tho aqueous vapoi; above them, blit very seldom between tiie globe of smoke and tiie earth be neath it. At each violent projec tion of smoke tiie instruments in dicated a strong tension of positive electricity, and when this reached a certain force thunder and light ning occurred. If (lie discharge oc curred in tlic direction of tlic zenith of tho observatory, a sudden in crease of positive electrical tension was produced; while, if Ihe dis charge was dir _ . ., d toward the excitement, and exclaimed to the i earth, or lo a distant region in the girl: j air, the tension heroine negative. Mr. Wallctt, the “Queen’s Jester,” addressing liis audience ut. ICcithV Circus, Douglas, Isle of Man, on tiie 18th, Inst., delivered himself after this fashion: “There never was a character on the singe of life or the draiiin so much misunderstood as the one 1 mu endeavoring to portray. It is generally supposed that tlic clow n or tiie fool of lilt- olden times was a low, illiterate buffoon, who delight ed to throw liis limbs into horrible contortions, to wallow out liis ton gue nifd roll Ids eyes, and, as Shake speare says, “commit such fantastic tricks before high heaven as to make the angles weep.” Itut such is not tlic fact. Tiie fool ot the “iicicnl day was a scholar and a gentleman when the kings and queens ot his country could tieithci- read nor write. Besides this, the clown or fool had a higher or holier province. He was tiie pio neer of human intelligence and manly independence. It was he who first stood up for the down trodden rights and privileges of the great human family. Y'ou see the fool was kept by kings, queens and courts to amuse them in their hours of leisure; and it was he who, un der the garb of laughter, dared to tell those wholesome truths to the very teeth of tyrants that greater men would have lost their heads for. But now ‘Othello’s occupation's gone. It’s no use of being a fool nowadays—Hint was the time to be a fool 1 In those days fools were great men, but things arc altered now, for great mcirare fools. In the olden times fools were well paid; but now, like every other trade, profession, or business, there is so much opposition, and so many people make fools of thcin«elvts for nothing, that the trade is not worth following. Now, Shakespeare says. ‘Let me play tlic fool with mirth and la.igli- ter; let old wrinkles conic; aud rather let my liver heat with wine than my heart cool witli mortifying groans.’ Now, there is a reason for being a fool; but the generaliiy of fools are fools because they liavV no reason. But I am a fool, and I give ynu a reason for beiug a fool. Consequently, being a fool and having a reason I am a reasonable fool. But there are so nianv kinds of fools. There are fools in their own right and fools in their own wrong. There are fools tor noth ing and there are fools for interest. Now’, I am a fool for interest—that is, I am a fool, and I find it to mi interest to be a fool. Therefore, beiug a fool, and having an interest I ought to be considered an inter ested aud interesting fool. At the same time I must be a fool for prin ciple, because if I had no principle I could have no interest, because in terest is derived from principle. And when I show I have an inter est that proves I have a principle; consequently I am a principled fool. But there arc old fools and young fools; satirical fools and drunken fools—who are the worst of all fools. Yes, if I had a voice that would echo from hill to hill, and vibrate through every valley, I would cry aloud, without fear or contradic tion, that drunken fools are the worst of all fools—except tetotal fools. That reminds me of what I saw in Manchester tlic other day. In one gutter I saw a pig; in the other the semblance of a man. Tiie pig was sober; the man was drunk. The pig had a ring in his nose; the other animal had one on his linger The pig grunted ; so did the iuan , and I said aloud, “We are known by the company we keep,’ and the pig heard me and walked away, ashamed to be seen in the company of the drunken man. Shakespeare says, “All’s well that ends well;” so I finished with the pig, because I’ think the tale ends well when there’s a pig at the end of it.” now tlio Parson Lied. Old Parson S., of Connecticut, was . a particular kind of person. One day lie had a man plowing in liis field, nud he went out to see how tho work was getting on. The ground was very stony, and every time the plow 'struck a stone tiie muii took occasion to swear a little. “Look lu re,” cried Parson S.. ‘yoU'jRust not swear that way in my field.’! “Well, I reckon you’d swear too,” said tlic mail, “ifyou had to plow such a stony field os tliisT” “Not a bit of it,” say|. “‘Just let me show you I” So tlic Parson took hold plow, blit lie Very soon had consid erable trouble'with the stones. As stone after stone enught the plow share, Mr. S. ejaculated: “Well, I never saw I lie like I” Ami tliis lie repeated every time n stone slopped liis onward way. As soon as lie had plowed around once lie stopped anil said to the man : “There now! You sec 1 can plow without swearing.” “But I guess it's pretty near as bad to lie,” answered the man, “and you told dozens o' lies. Every time tiie plow struck a sione yon said. “I never saw Hie like,” when the same thing happeuod a minute be fore I" Valuer’s Safe, Kidney i Lira CURE $1.25 PER BOTTLE A Positive Remedy for ALL Kidney, Liver and Urinary Troubles of both. Hale and Female. Xteacl -biio Record: v ‘It saved my life.”—”E. II. I.akely. Seim*, Ala. “It is the remedy that will cure the many liseiiHCtt peculiar to women.”—Mother’* Maga- “It has passed Revere teste and won endorse ment* from none of the highemt medical talent in tlic country.—New Yoia World. “No Remedy heretofore discovered can be held for one moment in comparison with It.** C. A. Harvey, D Washington, 1). C. This Great Natural Remedy is for Sale by Druggists j n all parts of the World. TRY IT and TAKE K 0 OTHER H. H. H'AliXER Jt C«~, ROCHESTER, N. Y. Upland Rice—A Crop that Beats Cotton. lt.wkin.Tille Dispatch. Mr. Henry Peterson, of Coffee county, made this year two hundred bushels of upland rice upon six acres of very poor land. The laud was so poor, in fact, that it would not produce corn. Mr. Peterson used on six acres five sacks (one thousand pounds) of Pacific fertiliz er. He sold the rice in its rough state at his barn door for one dollar and five rents per bushel, realizing two hundred and ten dollars on tiie product of six acres of land whicli is worth about one dollar per acre. Mr. Peterson says he can cut tivate rice with less labor and ex pensc titan cotton, aud that the crop can be gathered cheaper than eot ton. Rice straw, if properly hand led is equal to todder. and is prefer red by mules. Mr. James Muliiii, of Clinuncy, Dodge county, bu, rice straw and has it shipped from the coast, and considers it superioi- to fodder and hay as “long forage” for liis ox teams. Mr. Peterson says his rice weigh cd in its rougli state, over fifty pounds per bushel. The lands of coffee county seem admirably adapted to the cullira lion of upland rice; and wo have frequently given in the THtpatch iu stances where the yield has l>< froth twenty-five to thirty-live hush els per acre. Tlic soil is thin, hut witli the assistance of fertilizer . upland rice pays better than cotton ^oti the best lands in Pulaski and ad ‘oiiiing counties. Since Mr. Peterson engaged liis rice there lias been a decline in pri ccs, and upland rice is now sellin at eigty-flve to ninety cents pi bushel; hut even at seveuty-liv cents per bushel it is one of the nun valuable crops of lids section i Georgia—excelling sugar cane, oats, corn or cotton. The largest cotton mill Jn the United Slates has been opened at Willimnntic, Conn. It is only one story high, hut covers a spare of 820 feet by 74. nil of which is in i single room, lighted at. night by tlf tv-one electric burners. Eighty thousand persons can stand at once ia this building. J. V. JOINER, WATCHMAKER and JEWELER located at W. H. Gilbert, Ag-’t, & Co. BROAD STREET. J AND JEWELRY 1 stock complete! Repairing a Specialty I J. vr. JOINER I. J. BRINSON, Contractor^ Bnilfler AN'D DEALER IJi 1 ALBANY. OA. Lumber, Brick, Shingles, Lathes, Lime and Cement Constantly on hand, and orders promptly lilted. Estimates furnished tor buildings and iitracts taken at lowest living rates. Albany and southwest Georgia need an en terprise of thi* k r nd, and I am determined to Apply the demand. * Patronage solicited and satisfaction guar anteed I3TOFFICE: At S. .Sterne’s Store on Washington Street. Albany, Ga^Sept.9.1880. tf RUMNEY, FASHIONABLE TAILOR, WASHINGTON STREET. JUST RECEIVED, ▲ LARGE LOT OF 8AM- ° PLES of the Latest - Styles! —or— ( FILL AUD WINTER SUITS! SHIRT CUTTING SPECIALTY 1 Good Work! Perfect Fit and Reasonable Prices. Guaranteed! ang2G-ly TEETHINA. (TEEtnwe rowDtra.) earn ' holm In r«at urn. Altar* Irrlutlu a aalus Teething easy. Kearns and grcreala derma. Thousand, of ChlUren mow Bo oaooM leery ymr 6y u.tnij throe PMOn. For sale bv \v. h. Gilbert, agt.aco. L. E. & II. E. WEuKH. jan22-ly I FEEL VERY BADLV! IS A COMMON COMPLAINT. Vege'ba.'ble Medicine^ Piwerert ftom the formule of a SOUTHERN PHYSICIAN, a h', pntvin .uioolht ahww . «r PRICE, 50 CENTS. Tb» Ft* OXUnsaT * OO.