Newspaper Page Text
♦
t,
I
£.« VLB ANT SEW3.reubll.hKt ISOS. I. ... -
n.B albant AUvmriscR.MUbiiikcdur;, jCooaoUdat«i8*pt.*,iiai..
A Family ajtd Political Journal Devoted to the Interests of Southwest Georgia.
Volume 1.
—
ALBANY. GA.. SATURDAY, JULY 10. 1«L;
Number 45.
gvofcssional Cards.
William E. Smith,
Isstxao of killing a President, Gnt-
' tean seems to hire created * Bepabli-
. can Presidential candidate for 1884.
7
Attorney at Law,
ALBANY, QA.
j The President says he will get well.
; When some men say they will, they
| will, and there is evidence that Gar-
' field is one of these men.
O FFICE: In front of U>« Court Houm, op
•talre, otot Telofraph OOco. JahMr
H.J. WRIUHT.
WRIGHT aC POPE,
an. pope
Attorneys at Law,
ALBANY. GA.
UFFICEs—Obbt 8. Merer A Glauber's More, cor
ner Broad sad Washington file.
Dec. 18, iStO-dlwwly
JESSE W. WALTERS.
V. T. JONES,
JONES ft WALTER8,
Attorneys at Law,
ALBANY, OA.
ijtDcu over Centra* Bail road Bank.
boIMj
Tejs members of the New York
Legislature continne to meet, in joint
seaaion every day and vote, tightening
the lock a little more each time. This
thing ia getting to be disgustingly mo
notonous.
It is said that the President has ex
pressed the. opinion that his physi
cians were trying to starve him to death,
now that he has determined to recover
from his wounds. This is a favorable
sympton.
. a. vasov. a. h. ALFHIEN'D
VASON *S A LFRIEND
Law,
If President Girfleld gets well, this
attempt to asssssinste him, shameful ns
it is, msy proven God-sand to the coun-
try, after all. If Gniteau ia pnnished
it will establish a precedent that is gat
ing to be s crying need, to wit: that n
man cannot assassinate another in cold-
blood whenever he geta ready, and rely
Attorneys at
ALBANY, GA. | upon the pica of insanity for escape
„ ! from j—* pwht °r ^
^SieoorerSoutlia n Eipreu oaten, oppo-! A hesolution was introduced in the
• J* Court Uono. J » n,i ' <lu State Senate on Friday for the appoint-
Attornev at Law
James Callaway, ! ment or s committee of five—two
from the Senate and three from the
House—to investigate the lonatic asy
lum question thoroughly and report to
tbe Senate proper steps to be taken in
tlio premises. The resolution was
adopted and on motion ordered to be
transmitted to the House.
CAMILLA, GA.
iel>*-
W A, FORT,
M5TICIM FEW u& IURKW,
ALAPAHA, QA..
I PENDERS till probations! aerrlcaa to Iho poo-
L nlo of Parties and adjolutn* counttea. par-
ilarl, eloujr (be line of the B
r.cularle alou* tbe llaeof the 5 A a Railroad.
Keep., on haoil a full line of Feral I r and Patent
ledlcinea. HijilcUnj’ prasarlptlou fmmpUT
JunriS-wl,
Ueloss & Oslrarn,
Albany,
f
Georgia.
, OFFICE -OVt.lt POSfl' OFFICE. WASHINO
' J TON SrRKtST. Janlwlyill
Trowbridge & Hollinshed
DENTISTS,
WAYCR0S8,
- GEORGIA.
Teeth ajetraoted without pain. All work
arranted. Turin* moderate. Will go any*
here on B. ft A. and 8. F. ft \V. Bnilroads.
apl8*lSm
W.A. STROTHER, M.D.
IfiBAIfY, GEORGIA.
Dice over Gilbert's Drim Store
W, onlurs left at the Drug 8tore wlHrecsWs
| runipt mwilten. Jan 7-1 y
B, W. ALFRIBUD.
j Jr.
j jliil'ECr FULLY tenders his senrlcM, In llis
vsriou-* bronchos ol hla profession, to tbe
tail
:* tU«u« i \lhiuy audiurroundlngcountry,
be up|H>Blto Juurt House. «n,Fine*treel.
HOTELS.
THE JOHNSON HOUSE,
.MlTRYUkK, OA.,
In tlie place to stop and got a GOOD
MW ARE MEAL.
THE ALBANY HOUSE!
.i/ccpBarnett,Proprietor
Albany, Georgia.
f phis House is troll fnruished and in ov-
i cry way prepared for the accommo
dation of tlie traveling public. Entire sut-
) .taction cimranteed. Tho table is stip-
tdied with the best the country affords,
uud the servants are ummrpaased in po
to the wnn
Toe depopulation ol Ireland, as
shown by tho British census ii'aston-
ishing. In the past forty years the
population has decreased more than
3,000,000. Some hamlet, are absolute
ly deserted. ■ The village of Knock,
where the Virgin Mary is said to have
appeared, has declined from 600 in
population to less than thirty, lit
some parts there are as many people
In the poor house as out of it. The
total Irish population has decreased as
follows: 1881, 5,160.000; 1871, 5,411,
000; 1861, 5,788,000; 1851. 6,662,000;
1841, 8,175,OCO.
When the news of the assassination
of President Garfield wan telegraphed
throughout the country on Saturday
morning, tho 3rd inst., twenty million
people hold their breatli with fear and
trembling until they heard that the as
sassin was not from the South. Still,
what an easy thing it is now for tlie Re
publican organs of tho North to prove
thnt no charge would lie against the
Southern poople and the Democratic
party, if it had happened that tlie
man who shot the President was a
Southern Democrat! Wo are told that
snch a charge, with no more evideuco
to indicate a political conspiracy titan
there is, would have been simply ridic-
ulotH and liaVc been entertained by
nobody. Yet for all the concluaive-
ness of this proof wo are very well sat
isfied that the whole Republican press
of the country, with tlie usual few hon
orable exceptions, would have rung
with savage denunciations of tho mur
derous and unreconstructed rebels,
would have assumed s conspiracy and
not have waited for any evidenco of
liteness and attention
K nests, omnibuses convey passengers to
,ud from tlie different railroads prompt -
Charges to snit tile
sep2t» tf
.y, free of charge,
limes.
FOR SALE BY
GEO. S. GREENWOOD.
satfep
ITHK ONLY MEDICINE
IX EITHER LKJCTD OB DBX FORM
TkatleUUtkaatMtlnw ‘
\ra um, mbowki
An msamm.
I WHY ARK WE SICK?
Jacmiaa w nilgai Mgae gnat organ, to
Item doggtder torpid, and poUono-.i
nor,tart tktnfon /broad Into tU Hood
t OaddM tapdltd natmB,.
A Scathing Denunciation.
An exchange says: Judge Johnson,
of California, in passing sentence upon
a murderer who was drunk whet, the
wonts* of I deed was committed, gave his opinion
of dram-selling in the following vigor
ous language:
-Nor shall the place be forgotten in
which occurred this shedding of blood.
It was in one of the thousand ante
chambers of hell, which mar like
plague spots the fair face of our State.
You need not be told that I mean a
tippl-ng shop, the meeting place of
Satan's minions, and cess-pool which,
by spontaneous generation, breeds and
nurtures all that is loathsome and dis-
' gusting in profanity and babbling, and
f i vulgarity and Sabbath breaking. I
j would not be the owner of a groggery
| for tbe prico of this globe converted
into precious ore. For the pitiful sum
of a dime he furnished that poison
which mads tho deceased a fool, and
this trembling culprit a demon. How
paltry the price of two human lives!
This traffic is tolerated by law, and
therefore the vendor has committed an
offence not cognizable by earthly tri
bunals. But in the sight of God be
who deliberately furnishes the draught
which inflames men to anger and blood -
! shed is particeps criminis in the turpi-
I tude of the deed Is it not high time
; the sinks of vice and crime should be
rigidly accountable to the law of the
' land, and placed und.T the bar. of an
1 enlightened and virtuous public opin
ion?’’
KI DN EY 1 -WORT
WILL SURELY CURE
(kidney diseases,
LIVER COBIPLAINTS,
ipuis, cwxwriPATi.x, cuxakt
ibyeduring/ra action of Out ergon,
fn^orlng pomelo time <fdO»
Wfci oaffrr BUleas fata, aa* school
IWhyl
IWhjMfUw*
1 Why cedare
I ChKDm.WtHOwIrtDiahMi
An Alllzator amd Soak. Story.
; Berrien County Kewa.
We don’t propose to buck against
{the Sumter Republican or any of our
contemporaries in relatin' big stories,
but, confining onraelf strictly to facts,
will inform our readers that Mr. Jack
Rutherford, with others living on his
j premises, made a raid week before last,
— ,L - -11!ran♦ /.no anil rnaltaa in cLra
The following reminiscence of the
past possesses peculiar interest at
this date:
‘•I shall never forget the first time
I saw General Garfield. It was the
morning after President Lincoln’s
assassination. The country wa» ex
cited to iU utmost tension,and New
York city seemed ready for the
scenes of the French revolution.
The intelligence of Lincoln’s mur
der had been flashed by the wires
over the whole land. The newspa
per headlines of the transaction
were set up in the largest type, and
the high crime was on every one’s
tongue. Fear took possession of
men’s minds as to tho fate of' the
government, for in a few hours the
uews came that Seward’s throat
was cut, and that attempts had been
made upon tbe lives of others of
the government officers. Posters
were stuck op everywhere, in great
black letters, calling upon the loyal
citizens of New York, Brooklyn,
Jersey City, and neighboring places
to meet around the Wall Street Ex
change and give expressions to their
sentiments. It wss a dark and ter
rible hoor. What might come of it
no one coaid tell,, and men spoke
with bated breath. Tho wrath of
the workingmen was simply uncon
trollable, and revolvers ana knives
were In the hands of thousands'of
Lincoln’s friends ready, at tbe first
opportunity, to take the ;law into
their own hands and avenge the
death of the martyred President,
upon any and all who dared utter a
word against him. Eleven o’clock
a. m. was the hour set for the ren
dezvous. Fifty thousand people
crowded aronnd tlie Exchange
building, cramming and jamming
the atreets, and wedged in tight as
men could Rtand together. With
a few to whom a special favor was
extended, I went over from Brook
lyn at 9 a. m., and, even then, with
the utmost difficulty, fouud way to
the reception room for the speakers
in front of the Exchange building,
and looking oat on to the high and
massive balcony, whose front was
protected by a heavy iron railing.
We sat in solemnity and silence,
waiting for General Butler, who, it
was announced, had started from
Washington, and was either already
In the city, or expected every mo-
menu Nearly a hundred Generals,
Judges, statesmen, lawyers, editors,
clergymen, were In that room wait
ing Butler’s arrival. We stepped
out to the balcony to watch tho fear
ful solemn and swaying mass of
poople. Not a hurrah, was heard,
but for the most part (lead silence
or a deep, ominous muttering ran
like a rising wave up the street
toward Broadway, and again down
toward the river on the right At
length tho batons of the police were
seen swinging In the air, far up on
the loft, parting the crowd and
pressing it back to make way for
carriages that moved slowly, and
with difficult jogs, through the com
pact multitude. Suddenly the silence
was broken, and the cry of ‘Butler!’
‘Butler 1’ ‘Butler!’ ran out with
tremendous and thrilling effect, and
was taken up by the people. But
not a hurrah! Not once! It was
the cry of a great people, asking to
know how their President died.
The blood bounced in our veins,
and tears ran like streams down
our facep. How it was done, I for
get, but Butler was pulled through,
and pulled up, and entered tlie
rooms where we had just walked
hack to meet bitn. A broad crape,
a yard long, hungftom his left arm
—terrible contrast with the count
less flags that were waving the-na
tion’s victory to the breeze. We
first realized then the truth of tlie
sad news that Lincoln wa» dead.
When .Butler entered tlie room he
shook hands. Some rpoke, some
couldn't. AU were in tears. The
only word Butler had for us all at
tbe first break of the silence was:
‘Gentlemen, he died in the fullness
of his fame,’ and as he spoke it his
lips quivered;- and the tears ran
dowa his cheeks. Then, after a few
moments, came tbe speaking. And
you can imagine tbe effect, as the
crape fluttered in the wind, while
his arm was uplifted. Dickinson,
of New York State, was fairly wild.
The old man leaned over the iron
railing of the balcony and stood
upon the very edge, overhanging
the crowd, gesticulating in tbe most
vehement, manner, and next thing
to bidding the crowd barn up the
rebel seed, root branch, while a by
stander held on to his coat tails to
keep him from falling over. By
this time the wave of popular in
dignation had swelled to Its cre9t.
Two men lay bleeding on one of
the aide streets, the one dead, the
other next to dying; one on the
pavement, the other in the gutter.
They had said, a moment before,
that ‘Lincoln ought to have been
shot long ago!’ They were not al
lowed, to say it again! Soon, two
long pieces of scantling stood oot
above the heeds of the crowd, cross
ed at the top like the letter X, and a
loop pendent from the top at the
junction, a dozen men following its
slow motion through tbe masqes,
while ‘Vengeance!’ was the cry.
On the . right, suddenly, the
shout arose, The World!’ ‘the
World!’ ‘the office of the World!’
‘World!’‘World!’end a movement
of perhaps 8,000 or lQJUO, turning
their faces in the direction of that
building, began to be executed. It
"leal m
the skies! Justice and judgment are
c-talm-Uun-r.t of His throne 1
Mercy and troth shall go before Hi3
face' Fellow-citizens! God reigns,
and the government at Washington
-till lives.’ The effect vat tremen
dous. The crowd stood rivited to
the ground in awe, gazing at the
motionless orator, and thinking oi
God and the security of the govern
ment in that hour. As the boiling
wave subsides and settles to the sea j
when some strong triad beau i:!
down, so the tumult of the people I
sank and became still. All took it J
as divine omen. It was a triumph
of eloquence, inspired by the mo-'
ment, such as falls to bat one man’s
lot, and that but once in a century.
Tbe genius of Webster, Choate.
Everett, Seward, never reached it;
Demosthenes never equalled, it
What might have happened had the
surging and maddened mob been
let loose, none can telL The man
for the crisis wa3 on the spot, more
potent than Napoleon’s guns at
Baris. I inquired what was his
name. The answer came in a low
hisper: ‘It is Gen. Garfield, of
Lira > »
co.vie to D': SKIS’.
rl Prophrt, R. ».»• Iljm*.
’ iBMr-ri toi
Await!a* for Am My WY
Do b*nnoT*«*»> # d« tabor* »prw!;
Coate to Je feu’—joe'll all t* fed J
' Loras—Dyo cun- on, cbllla n. to Jo Hms!
To dm TuioJaiil jkVT.fai';
Cucoe from d« we*' an* from d
Tode, too-d/, to-j-Aj &•*?
TV Ubofs
»r*4 far I an* y©«.
dTlr.at'siL.-sr.tGO;
Da powam*! fcjOTYed. dm gnem Is mid.
Come to de fea?*:—you’ll sK b? f*i.
Ohio?
Another Star Forever Gone.
was a critical momanL What might
come no one could tell, did that
crowd get in front of that office.
Police or mllitery would have
availed little, or been too late. A
telegram had Just been read from
Exactly three months ego yester
day he called at this office to buy
three or four fonts of job type, beg
a dozen old cuts and barrow some
italic to liven up his long primer.
He was going to an interior town
to start a weekly, and his bosom
held so many hopes that not one
single fear could have been driven
in with a mall. He called again
yesterday to get the loan of twenty
cents to make np his fare to Toledo,
and when askedabont his newspa
per he groaned and wiped away a
tear. The paper had suspended, the
Sheriff bad the material, and the
office had been turned into a gro
cery. It will be thus with every
Ohio man who rashes up hero to es
tablish a newspaper and refuses to
take the advice of men who have
been through the mill. This Per
kins had metropolitan journalism
on the brain. In his very first is
sue he dropped the “we’’ and “onr,’’
and his subscribers when he flstly
refused to give a society 820 worth
of puffing In exchange for a deed-
head ticket to a candy-pull. All
items beginning: “We notice that
Blank Is having a tremenduous
boom in his drygoods trade,” or
that “Parker, the druggist, is bound
to lend in the sale of soaps,” were
tabled at once, and the wife of the
Village President was allowed logo
fourteen Smiles to visit her sister
without the slightest mention Jn the
Herald. Perkins started with a list
of three hundred subscribers. He
was impolito enough to a9k them
to pay np and two hundred
melted off tho list inside of three
days. He might have retained the
hundred who aid pay if ho bad been
sharp, but misfortunes Surrounded
him. Colonel Bland was thrown
from his buggy and struck on his
ear, and the Herald never heard of
It, and consequently could not say
tbat “the Colonel may rest assured
of the sympathy of all Hoppert
in his great affliction.” Old Mrs.
Savoy died of measles, and the
Herald didn’t say that her seven
sons would vat have seats in Con
gress. A member of tho Village
Board had a boil which the Herald
missed entirely, and a leading mer
ehant tumbled down his cellar
stairs and the Herald recklessly let
slip the opportunity to mention his
fine stock of cheap dress goods.
Perkins got to the end of his rope in
just eleven issues, and ho went out
of town with the feelings of a horse
thief. He sat here in oue of the edi
torial rooms of this paper yesterday
and wept great tears anu heaved
great sighs of regret, but it was too
late. The golden calf of fortune
hail paraded before hint, hot he
had refused to seize its tail and be
dragged up to dignity and compe
tence. He left for Ohio Ia9t night
in the caboose of a freight train,
cowed, crashed and disheartened,
and yet it will not be six months
before some other man, filled with
the enthusiasm of metropolitan
journalism in a town of three saw
mills and four hundred inhabitants,
will come and go over the same
road.
vld a haaf-Cowa bed,
Knlffa ua to te lad!
tUSSSEZStf**
Dtx milk kd* win* KD’hooej, too
A»* fiarj shinin' throng m* "
D« unworthy 1
Her uxci.’dhotde
~ wCJjoaJicadd
vdiyka 1 !,
•JX go
Ccgtbb—Dta
1 whose souls li lost ?
Doc pi* an* wlneaa* erxckltn’bread,
A hundred a>li«a o* tabia spread;
Da poesum’s Starred, da gnse la sed;
Coma to de fees'! you’ll all be ftd l
The Uct
■ forte.po:
Cuns—Sne
• ee, Chilian, etc.
Canon Cttj Appeal.
Jenes wss standing on the front
steps the other night walling for
his sweetheart to come onL She
knew what time to come, and Jones
didn’t wish to riug the bell for fear
of alarming the old folks. Pres
ently he heard the door open, and
the old man muttered something
about somebody’s being “too fresh.”
“Do you address yonrselfto me?”
said Jones, springing *up with a
flashing eye.
“No,” said the old gentleman,
mildly;. “I was speaking of the
paint onthe steps. It was pat there
this mlternoon.”
Jones clasped his fcarfds to the spot
and, realizing the foroe ol the old
man’s remarks, readied hie room in
five minutes.
i Kit. Bock Ouatte.
Several days ago a celebrated
spiritualist came to Little Bock, and
stated that before giving a public
entertainment ho would give
seauce, where any member of a
small invited circle would call np
the spirits of their friends and oon-
verso with them. By - mistake a
man from dowu the river was ad
mitted, a man whose reputation for
deeds of violence would not place
his spirit above par in the soul mar
ket. After listening awhile to rap
ping, horn blowing and gauze veil
materialization, the bad man arose
and said:
“Say, Cap’n, whar’s the old man’s
ghost?”
‘-What old man?”asked the me
dium.
“My old man, tho’governor. Call
him up.”
“What is his name ?’’
“Tom Bc&lick: call him np.”
‘-I don’t think, we are in cornnia-
nication with him to-night.”
“What’s the matter, wire down ?”
“No, the old gentleman is off on a
visit.”
“Now, hare. Jest shet up your
.wardrobe and turn oil your fight.
If you don’t tho old iivin’s ghost n
show tho thiug shan’t run.”
“Wait; I’ll see If he'll come,’’ said
the spiritualist. “If he raps three
times he is wiUfng, if only ouco, he
has other engagements. 1 '
A sharp rap sounded.
“He is uu willing,” said the spirit
ualist.
“Now, here,” said the bad man,
“that wault my ols man’s knock.
Why, ef he'd hit that table he’d
splintered It. Call him np,” and
drawing a revolver the affectionate
son cast a severe look on the medi
um.
“To tell the truth, I can’t call him
up.”
“Tell him that I want to see him.
That’ll fetch him.’’
“No; he won’t come, but I beg of
you to be pstienL Wait; he will
come presently. He is here and de
sires to talk with you. He says that
he is perfectly happy, and that he
longs for the timo when you will
be with him. He is one of the
rnlera in the spirit land.”
“Cap’n, you’re the Infernalest liar
in Arkansas.”
“Why so, sir?”
“Because the old man la In the
city prison, drunk as a fool.’’
Bain-bbidoe,Ga, July 17,1881.
Last Friday was the hottest day
ever felt' in this place, thermometer
standing at Id? In the shade. It was
so hot Unit it reminded the writer
Of a little anecdote: An old Dutch
man, peddling In Arkansas, and
driving a two-horse wagon, arrived
at night at “Hot Springs.” Order
ing his son John to drive under a
large tree and unhitch, he took hla
bucket and went to tbe spring to
get water. Got it and to his amaze
ment steam arose from its babbling
surface. He eould not imagine the
cause; stuck his finger In it to
if the water was really hot, and
causing the escaping steam. Of
course it scalded; jerking it out, he
rushed up to the wagon, exclaim
ing: “Shon, Shon, you shust hitch
up and drive oh; HeU ish not more
asb one mile from dish blace?' Just
what I thought Friday.
Qnr corn crop in the rolling lands
Southeast of ns, Is almost totally de
stroyed, and cotton badly damaged.
This section of the country—the
best com land in it—wiU not pro
duce one-third of a crop of com.
On the pine lauds the cotton and
corn, at a general thing, is good.
Rain fell Friday and Saturday all
aronnd n* in copions showers, hut
very little found its way into town.
William Swlcord, a young and
clever gentleman, died at his resi
dence in this county Friday morn
ing last. He was a good farmer and
oitizen.
Major A. W. Harris, living
miles above here, will commence
making syrup Monday from Amber
cane. He has 24 acres ready for the
mill, and says it makes better svrnp
than the ribon cane, and brings from
ten to fifteen cents more per gallon
in market; and that the seed la bet
ter for stock than com. Two
crops can he raised during tlie year
from one planting.
Our new iron bridge is being
rapidly constructed. It will be
ready for public use by the first of
August.
. Allen Hood, colored, was badly
beaten by some unknown person
across the river last night He re
fuses to tell the name of any of them,
although he says he knows one of
them. Expect he got what he de
served, as he is a grand rascal.
O. G. G.
ONLY A XKt
“Only a newapaper!" Quick read, quick
Who saw* tbe treason that It eat
start vra of :
prnul
Mbhs otgMag treat 1
One leaf ot laurel*
Ink* re, O, early
Not a Healthy Picture of mormon*
upon the alligators and snake* in the j Washington. ‘Seward is dying.’
ponds near by, and within a space of
one mile and s-half square killed thir-
'twlrittnuT C^ltT^Ll j U-four alligators, seven of which were
r j large ones. One was nearly nine feet
long, and a bob-tailed one at that. An
other one had twenty-seven hard
in her. Within the ante apaa
killed fire rattlesnakes;
from two feet to five and a-half feet
; long. The moccasins and other kinds
1 were so uumeroos that he did not take
| the trouble to count them. IVe gat
' these facts from Ur. Rntherford him
self, and his Teractly is cot qnastioaed.
Just
then, at that juncture, a
stepped-forward with a small dag
in bis hand, and beckoned to the
crowd. ‘Another telegram from
Nashville!’ And then, in the awful
stUlnes- of the crisis, taking advan
tage of the hesitation of the
whose steps had been
moment, a right arm
ward, and a
load and d
low-citizens:
are vound about Him ! HU pavilion
is dark waters and thick clouds of
Ckoay
Boil-a quart of meal for ono hoar
with a sufficiency of water to make
it a little thicker than ordinary
gruel. Then add a five cent loaf of
baker’s bread crumbed fine or an
equal quantity of light bread or.
hard baked biscuit, broken fine, one
pound of good beef or half a pound
of nice sweet ham or bacon, cut
into very small pieces, a large onion
cut fine or two email ones, two or
three Irish potatoes peeled and cut
into very small pieces, half a ta
ble spoonfnl of ground black pep
per, or half a teaspoonfui of ground
red pepper, and salt to season. B-
an houror more. There should be
a sufficiency of water to make the
whole at the expiration of the 2nd
“Your WU* Beta It,"
It Is related that in the early days
of her wedded life. Queen Victoria
had one of those squabbles with her
husband, of the sort which will
come about sometimes even be
tween the most loving couples.
Chagrined and vexed the Prince re
tired to his room, and locked the
door. TheQneen took the matter
quietly for awhile, but after the
lapse of an honr she went to his
door and rapped.
“Albert,” the said, “come onL”
“No, I will not,” answered toe
Prince within. “Come, go away;
leave me alone.”
The royal temper waxed hot at
this. “Sir,” she cried, “come out at
once. The Queen, whose subject
yon are, commands yon.’’
Ha obeyed immediately. Enter
ing the room she designated, he sat
down in silence. For a leng time
nothing was said. The Queen was
the first to break the silence.
“Albert,’’ she said, “speak to me.”
“Does the Queen command UP
she asked.
“No,” she answered throwing her
arms about his neck, “yonr wife
begs1L”
retainer.)
M B. Bartlett has a cnrisol
his store, in the sbspe of a
tipplinsr moose, that comes up
regularly for his liquor as the m
veritable toddy tippler in town. It
appears that his
beyond ail
from ihisir intrinsic Yalue
be least
fear, and is 13 familiar
with the boys as can
be. eveu running up their legs and
allowing them to handle him.
Graphic.
7Thy is H. H. P. tike Senator Joseph
E. Brown? Give it up. Because its
chief aim is internal improvement.
Bye’s Boomerang.
Most every one who don’t know
much about Mormonism thinks that
the church is simply ignorant, with
a morbid desire among the com
municants to get married.
The plain, stub toed trntb, how
ever, Is that the average Mormon
not only wants to get married at
every available opportunity, bat he
is a man who glories in tbe clothes
he wore ten year* ago, and who
brings with him the dirt and dust
of foreign climes.
He comes among us from every
benighted land under the sun,
bringing with him the flavor of his
native hog pen and the choice fra
grance of the steerage passengers.
He lands upon onr shores nnable to
speak our language or to adopt onr
style of soap. The first words he
learns are those necessary to ask
some cross-eyed old hag with a wen
on her nose to marry him, and then
he goes on inducing tbe old con
demned hens of Zion to be added to
him till a merciful providence cots
him down and he leaves a herd of
snorting widows with feet like a
sack or floor and complexions like
an old hair trnnk.
Mormonism is not alone repre
hensible because it induces a chron
ic and inaitiable desire to marry
the whole broad universe and a
portion of York State, bat bocauae
when a man dies it takes so much
gloom to go around among the
members of his family.
Think of the regular amount of
■nrging grief over the death of the
hatband and father divided np
among twenty purple-noted wo
men and ono hundred chUdien with
old-gold hair and skim-milk eyes.
If Mormonism, and a wild and
frenzied longing to marry every
wappy-jawed woman In Christen
dom, be a stench in the nostrils of
the President, what most it be here
within a hundred miles of polyga
my, bigamy, trigamy andpigamy.
The custom of a bridegroom’s be
ing attended on hit marriage by a
friend or relative, who is styled his
“ so practiced at wed-
. sent day, is of great
-, descending from onr Sax-
rs. In their time marri-
always eelabrated in the
the bridegroom. On the
ore the wedding all his
jre, O, eorlT oUln.
Though In the authors’ pscthcoa, no nlcito
TourUiSfngm
~ iModjottruth
I can hold iorevor tut,
irstdoarafarannire
To apnog and Jvo at least. .
On lonclv wastes, wlthta tho awarmimg
toeatv
In Client dream, in spsshlng deeds of
Quick with ■onetsm from year doilhUca
hearts.
Toar thoughtl wiU live again.
FIT,
I NTO Gives tho
Mach baa been said of the fly of
ly of
the period bat few write abont him
who are bald-headed.
Hence we' say a word. It ia of
no nse any more to deny the horri
ble truth. Although as beautiful as
a peri in other ways, onr tresses on
top . have’succumbed to the inclem
ency of the weather, and onr mas
sive brow U slowly creeping over
to the baric of of onr neck. Nature
makes all thlugs even. If a man be
possessed of snch ravishing beanty
and snch winning ways, that hla
power might become dangerous, the
makes him bald-headed.
That ia our fix.
When we have our hat on and go
chassclnjj down the street with that
camel glide of ours, everyono asks
who that iioblo-lookiug Apollo with
the deep and melancholy eye is;
but when we are at the office with
our hat. bung up on tbe French wal*
nut 8ido.board, and the sun come*
softly In through the rosewood shat
ters and lightB up the shellac polish
on our intellectual dome, we are not
so pretty.
Then It Is that tbe fir, with gentle
tread and seductive song, comes and
and prospects aronnd on our bump
of self-esteem, and tickles us and
makes us made.
Wheu we get where forbearance
ceases to be a virtue, we haul offaud
slap the place where ho was, whilo
he goes over to tbe Inkstand and
snickers at ua. After he has waded
around in the carmine ink awhilo
he goes back to the stump of spirit
uality and makes some red marks
over it
Having laid off his claim under
the new mining law, he proceed* to
sink on it.
If wo write anything bitter;
if wo say aught of our fellow-man
that it^diiagrceable or unjust, and
for which wo afterward get licked,
it is because at times we get exas
perated and are not responsible.
If the fly wero large and weighed
200 pound*, and came in here and
told ns that If we didn’t take back
what we tad said about him ho
would kuock out the window with
our remains and let us fall a hun
dred feet into tho busy street it
wouldn’t worry us so much, bocause
then we could strangle him with one
hand while we wrote a column edi
torial on Conkling with tbe other.
We do that frequently. But a little
fragile insect, with no home and no
parents, and ODiy four or five mil
lion brothers and sisters, gain our
confidence, and then tickles our scalp
till wo have to write with a sheet
of tar roofing over our head.
Then he comes in and helps us to
read our proof. Wc don’t want
him to help, hut ho insists on mak
ing corrections ni.d puttiug punctu
ations In the wrong plnce,
puttiug full stops where tl
tbe sense all out
If the fly could bo ,
onr pathway, we would march
along In our Journey to the tomb
in a way that would be the envv
and admiration of tho civilized
orld. As it is, we feel that we
are not making a very handsome
record-
i story Abont!
Sir York star.
Chittenden, the Brooklyn million
aire, could tell you a good comet
story. Ho had a dry goods store at
Ilsrtford,and was a Hitlerite. When
tbe comet cantc he imagined the
end of the world was coining, too,
and so be opened his store and
gave his goods away to anybody
who would walk in and tako'tiicm.
H* smiled serenely as a lady walked
off with a piece of lace, and cried,
“O vanity 1” when
lected a roll of silk velvet. He
cd ‘hat his free customer* chose tho
most expensive article*; hut,
having no use for them In the next
world, and Chittenden found him
self with a stock reduced to a fow
cheap calicoes and tho whole town
grinning at him. This was more
than he could stand, so he gave
away the calicoes also end flea to
New York, whore he and his fbol-
ishness were then unknown. It was
a lucky move for him, however, for
in s few years he was worth' hie
millions.”
California has a perpj
pond. There is a lake on
Tooth Mountains, at an alt!
nearly twelve thousand feet,
is constantly frozen. It wai
ered in August of 1879 by
of prospectors, and named I
The son seemed to have tu. ——
upon itexcept in place* atom- the
sjiore.
and pn
here they knock
FUVBOT SPICING AND SCU*
IUEK MEDICINE.
A Thorouslt Illooil Purlflrr, A Ton
ic Appetizer. I’lrxiant to tee tesle.larlKOr*
atlas to Uia body Tho moat eminent Pliyal-
clans recommend lhaao Bitten for their enra-
‘ i properties. Trial Sire, SOcts. Foil
llariafini - —
Shod
market) $1.00.
Tn-sr THEM..
HU THE KIDNEYS, LIVER AND URIN
ARY OROANS use nothin; hut ‘•WARNER’S
SAFE KIDNF.Y AND LIVER CUltE." It
•taodi UNRIVALED. Thotusnri* ova; their
health and happtn*** to It. OBT* We offer - War*
nerV Safe Touic TSILten’’ vilh pcrS-ct confidence.
II. II. WARNER & CO., RocIiester.N. Y.
TUTTHS
PILLS
INDOR8EO BY
PHYSICIANS, CLERGYMEN. AND
THE AFFLICTED EVERYWHERE.
THE GREATEST MEDICAL
TRIUMPH OF THE AGE.
SYMPTOMS OF A
TORPID LIVER.
of the paragraph,
be removed front
Bought Off at the Altar.
by
li
on forowlstaman of tho ninth centu
ry is the prototype of tbe English
“oest man” of the ' '
Saoodine trill kill all
stock.
On last Wednesday morning at 9
o’clock a nephew of one of our most
prominent real estate agents was
married at 8L Pauls Roman Catho
lic church, where* huge assembly
had gathered to witness - tlie cere
mony. Previous to the marriage
the young man had been engaged
to a respectable, well-behaved
mg girl, the niece of a well-to-do
wer of this dty. This young la
dy, hearing of the contemplated
anion ofanother with the one who
AM called upon
Father Feruedlng with the engage
ment ring and other evidences of
the courtship, under the impression
that tbe Roman Catholie Church
dii not allow parties matrimonially
inclined to break their contract Un
less by consent of both. Bat as
everything had been prepared for
the occasion, the Her. Ferneding re.
fused to interfere. The marriage
was a double one, the young man’s
sister and her groom being the other
contracting parties, and when the
procession entered tho church edi
fice, the mistreated young lady arose
from one of the pews, and with the
ring in one hand and the letters of
the yonng man—the proofs of his
unfaithfulnesa—in the other, fhe
marched, amid the excitement of
the lookers-on, at the head of the
altar. The
dts-
hla son
To make it negotiable
a bill mnst he
or tbe
be stated
aomo c — . .
nng 6: tho Heart, Uota before the
•yea, fallow BklnTHeadHcbe, jfaeaile
neu flt night, highly colored urine.
IT THESE WARNINGS ARE UNHEEDED,
SERIOUS DISEASES WILL SOON EE DEVELOPED*
TUTT8 PILLS are especially adapted to
fluch ca»e»,one dose effect* <iucbachaiift
of feeling a« to astonish the sufferer.
They InciYn»e the Appel lie, and cause the
body to Take on Fleeti. tlitii tbe aystem Is
MdHHffi|Wtb<irTonleAetloDOo tbe
DiftAtlve OrnuM, Kerolar ft tools are pro
duced. price £ cer:!». 33 Jlurrny SL, Si.Y.
TUTT'S HAIR DYE.
Office, 36 Murray 8t.
g »r. Tt-rr» aa-trAL t tai
fUMfeJ BOTipt. Will b* waM nil* m •
■ Dye. It
iitaiieocsi/
arecslptoflL
New York*
RUMNEY,
FASHIONABLE TAILOR,
WJSHIXGIOX STTtEEr.
TEST ntZIVBD, A LARUE LOT OF SAB-
° PLES at it.
Latest Styles!
Fill AND WINTER SUITS!
SHIRT CUTTING
SPECIALTY
Good Work! Perfect Pit and
Seasonable Pricos
Guaranteed! ;
fflotber. t BMtm!! HHhmjll
Are you disturbed at night
i of your rest bra - :kc
! “8 crying ’ri::. tb--«
* U'oKt.eth? if-
get a bottle of li.
so Stecp. It a! .chore the
J. t;
There is not
who has eTer used it who 1
-not once that it will re-nlatetk.
g.rc ret to the
id health to the
l ; -o msgic. U is perfectly
• al- ' i-.es, and pleasant to
toatute.andlsfflep^pUofo 1
jINDSTINCT PRINT
