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The Squire and the Summing Up.
At a lawyers’ dinner in Buffalo one
Betraying Bucfales.
Of the best stories told was of Squire general lAhostoo was a distinguish-
Murray, who weighed 300 pounds and j e ? Pre “? ™tenm.sl«.i.i by the Pros-
rrru^ -.r-oc i^Tooio^i , T .„ „ Bians after the rout of TV'aterloo. He
who was born in Ireland, was m the „ „ . ,
' was, full of resource and had great skill
and presence of mind. At Pescara,
whisky business here and held liis
court on the Ten-ace. The courtroom
was like a courtroom in Ireland. The
bench was fire feet from’ the floor,
Ih'ith a chair whose back reached to the
ceiling. The trimmings of the room
were all green. Mr. Lockwood and
Judge Beckwith were trying out a
case before the squire. There was no
jury. At the close the squire paused.
“Do you wish to sum up?” he asked.
“I leave it all with your honor,” said
Mr. Lockwood, who advises young law
yers with a ticklish cause and friendly,
face on the bench to do likewise.
“I’ll sum up,” said Judge Beckwith.
“Very well,” replied Squire Murray.
“While you’re at it I’ll slip down in
Murray Bros.’ and have a drink with
Lockwood. But I’ll be back before you
finish.”
The^ squire and Mr. Lockwood went
out. The squire was in search of the
spirit of the law at the root of the law.
Mr. Lockwood thinks they had a drink.
On the stairs, half way back to the
courtroom, with the echo of Beckwith’s
voice sounding in their ears, the squire
stopped.
“Lockwood,” said he, “you’ve won
your case.”
Then they went in and heard Beck
with finish summing up.—Buffalo Ex
press.
Methodical Punctuation.
Speaking of W. H. (“Coin”) Harvey,
a Chicago man said:
“An amusing incident took place
while Harvey was editor of Coin, a pa
per which he published in Chicago.
Harvey, in talking to one of his part
ners, took exception to the want of
punctuation in the paper. ‘There isn’t
enough punctuation,’ he complained,
‘and Coin doesn’t look right without it.
There ought to be a comma once in so
often, then so often a colon, and all
the rest. Don’t you think so?’ he wound
up appealingly.
“ T do, indeed,’ heartily replied the
partner, who was not wholly devoid of
humor. ‘That’s a great idea off'yours,
Harvey. If I were you,’ he suggested,
Td draw up a rule to that effect.’
“Harvey thought it over, and the
thought commended itself. The next
day, therefore, a rule reading some
what as follows was posted in the of
fice of Coin: ‘Hereafter it is the rule of
this office that articles appearing in the
columns of this paper must be punctu
ated as follows: Every 12 words shall
carry a comma; every three lines a
semicolon; every four lines a colon; ev
ery five lines a period; exclamation and
question marks may be used as-heretp-
fore. The employees of this paper wiil
please observe this Order.’ ’’—New York
Tribune.
when he was in great .ganger, a l^rge
fortress in front and a" savage insur
rection. In his real*, his own common
sense saved him.
“Who commands at Pescara?’’ he
asked a soldier.
“There are two.”
“What is the grade of the chief in
command?”
“A.brigadier general.”
“His name?”
“De Pietramaggiore.’*
“His title?”
“A marquis.”
“His age?”
“About 70.”
“Is he well preserved? Does he keep
his color?”
“He is thin and pallid.”
“Is his voice strong and manly?”
“It is weak and dull.”
“Is he lively, gay?”
“Neither the one nor the other.”
“What does he wear on his head?”
“He is powdered, and his hair is done
in locks.”
“Has he boots and spurs?”
“No; he wears silk Stockings, shoes
and great buckles.”
“Great buckles!” • cried Duhesme.
“Bring up the guns and begin firing!
The place is mine!”
! BLOOD P0IS02T.
>J
Two hundred bushels of po-
Prismatlc Colors.
. Mrs. Opie, the Widow of the great .. ... _ „ , .
portrait painter, whom some one has S crof ula, Uleers, Ol dSor e s ,B one Pains— fcatOeS remove eighty pounds
called the “inspired peasant,” never, J “ * i r ({ . i »> fmrv, 4-U
even in her old age, lost her love of . First, second or third stages positively j 01 actuai ro msmrom tile
bright colors. A little girl, Emma - cured by taking B.B. B. (Botanic Blood
Martin, afterward known in literature.! Blood Balm kills or destroys the
visited ter.ouo d*y : j^f
and experienced a rare pleasore. She & me | Botanic Blood Balm builds up the
An Excuse For a Pardon.
When the stern Duke of Wellington
was prime minister under George IV,
he managed the old monarch easily
enough, but when be attempted the
same tactics with the young. Queen.
Victoria he met Ms match. She con
stantly outwitted him. One of his
earliest official acts; was ; to bring be
fore her a court martial death sentence
which he expected her to sign as a
matter of course. A soldier was to be
executed for desertion, and as the
death warrant was placed before the
queen by„the duke she raised her eyes,
full of tears, to his face^ saying:
“Have you nothing to say in behalf
of this poor man ?”
“Nothing,” said the duke, standing at
attention like one of his own privates;
“he has deserted three times.”
“Oh, your grace, think again,” plead
ed the queen as if she were asking for
the life of her dearest friend.
“Well, your majesty, he certainly is
a bad soldier, but there was somebody
who spoke for his good character. He
may be a tolerably good fellow in civil
life.” -
“Oh, thank you,” said the queen in
heartfelt tones, and before the aston
ished duke could utter a word of pro
test she had written across the paper
the word “Pardoned.”
says:
On a screen in her drawing room
were hung a number of prisms, which
were suspended from chandeliers be
fore the bell shaped globes came into'
fashion: I sat on a stool at my moth
er’s feet, wondering what those long
bits of glassjcould mean. Presently the
brilliant rays of the western sunshine
filled the room.
“Now,” said Mrs. Opie, “thou mayst
run over to that screen and give it a
shake.”
I did as I was bidden.' “Be gentle,”
said my mother in a warning voice,
but I gave the screen a vigorous shake.
Emerald, ruby and violet rays danced
on the. walls and ceiling and delighted
me so intensely that I kept repeating
the process;.then my mother, afraid of
mischiogf-resiilting, came and drew me
back to her side. Mrs; Opie looked at
me and said: ,
“If thou lovest bright colors, thee
will never see anything more beautiful
than the rainbow God sets in. the sky.”
A Failure In Coopering.
A certain man who was once a
prominent Kentucky politician was
more a demagogue than a statesman.
He was, according to Short Stories, in
the habit of boasting that his father
was a cooper in an obscure town in
the state—that he was “one of the
people” and didn’t belong to the “kid
gloved aristocracy.”
' The “general’s” great failing being
his fondness for liquor, it will surprise
no one to be told that the more he drank
tbe more loudly he declaimed his
political sentiments and the prouder
of being tbe son of a cooper be became.
During a political campaign, where his
opponent was the southern orator, Tom
Marshall, he had been unusually noisy
an<3 offensive in his boasting regarding
his obscure origin. In replying, Mar
shall said, looking hard at the general:
“Fellow citizens, my opponent’s
father may have been a very good
cooper. I don’t deny that; but I do say,
gentlemen, that he put a mighty poor
head into that whisky barrel.”
Perambulating Goat Dairies.
There are a couple of European dai
ries in Athens whose proprietors keep
cows, but they do business mostly with
the foreigners and with those Greeks
who ape foreign manners. Your genuine
Athenian believes the goat to be the
proper milk producing animal, and he
regards the cow in this connection
about the same as Americans do the
mare.
The milkman takes his animals with
him, jangling their bells and sneezing.
“Gala!” he shouts, with a quick, star
tling cry, with a “g” whose guttural
quality is unattainable by adult learn
ers and usually unperceived by them.
When a customer comes to the door,
he strips the desired quantity into the
proffered receptacle before her vigilant
eyes, selecting one of the goats and
paying no attention to the others, who
understand the business as well as he
does. Patiently'they stand about, chew
ing the cud or resting on contiguous
doorsteps.
When their master moves on, they
arise and follow, more faithful than
dogs.—Scribner’s Magazine.
Real Nice BatMng.
It may be doubted if a tub bath in
Jamaica is a luxury. Tbe bathhouses
make a brave show in a row of low
brick buildings in the rear of the ho
tels, each little house with a big stone
tank for a bathtub.
I went out to see the baths on my
first day in Kingston and was surpris
ed to see a sign nailed against the wall
bearing the words: .
“Gentlemen Are Requested Not to
Use Soap In the Baths.”
“Why are gentlemen requested not to
use soap in the baths ?” I asked the ho
tel clerk, a dignified youiig woman of
dark complexion.
- “Because it soils the water and makes
it unpleasant for the next bather,” she
said.
“But do your guests all bathe in the
same water?” I asked. ^
“Oh, yes,” she replied. “You see, the
tanks are so large and the pipes are
small. It takes all night to fill the
tanks, and the water has to last all
day.”
A "Woman’s No.
“Learn to say ‘no,’ my daughter,” ad
vised the wise mamma. '
“But why?” inquired the coy debu
tante.
“Because it is more fun to keep the
men guessing for awhile.” ^
Thu$ we see that : woman’s “no” /v
means “guess” in stead Of “yes,”, as T ^ is signature is on every box of the genuine
the proverb would have us believe.— I L&XatiVC BfOflK)=Quilline Tablets
Baltimore American.' the remedy that cores a cold In one day
How Do You Pronounce “Dog;?”
How do you pronounce “dog?” The
chances are that, if you are an average
Massachusetts citizen, you pronounce
the “o” rather broad, like “o” in song.
.The Century Dictionary, which is a
very indulgent dictionary indeed, al
lows you to pronounce it so if yon
wish, but no other dictionary does.
You should-really sound the “o” as in
not. Likewise how do you* pronounce
“hog?” Even the Century won’t let
you say “hawg.” This reminds me
that a friend has written the following
beautiful but abstruse poem:
MY HOG AND MY DOG.
[A lesson in pronunciation.]
I once owned a roving hog
And likewise a little dog, S
Whom I chained--unto a log
To keep him from a bog
Which was near.
That my faithful little dawg,
Despite the chain and lawg,
Would pursue that roving hawg
And get drowned in the hawg
Was my fear.
—Boston Journal.
Why “Wedding Breakfast?”
“In all my experience of wedding
breakfasts,” said a guest at a wedding,
“I have never understood why the
feast was called a breakfast and not a
luncheon. Now I have learned. It is
from the custom in the Church of Eng-,
land, where the bride and bridegroom
always receive the holy communion be
fore the ceremony, receive it fasting
and remain fasting until after the wed
ding, when tbe meal which is served is
really a breakfast.”—New York Times.
Clever Bilkins.
“Bilkins’ wife found some poker
chips in his pocket.”
“Yes?”
“Well, Bilkins told her they were
cough lozenges.”
“Clever of Bilkins, wasn’t it?”
“Very—she swallowed two and very
nearly died.”—Ohio State Journal.
shattered constitution. Have you sore
throat, pimples, copper-colored spots,
old sores, ulcers, swellings, scrofula,
itching skin, aches and pains in bones or
joints, sore monnth, or falling hair?
Then Botanic Blood Ba'qs will heal ev
ery sore, stop the aches and make the
blood Pure and Bich and give the rich
glow of health to the skin. Over 3.000
testimonials of cures. Botanic Blood
Balm thoroughly tested for 30 years.
Sold at Drugstores, $1, including com
plete directions. 'Trial treatment of B.
B. B. free by addressing Blood Balm Co.,
Atlanta, Ga. Describe trouble and free
medical advice given. uon’t despair of
a cure, as Biood Balm cures when all
else fails At Roltzclaw’s Drug-store.
NERVITA PILLS
Restore Vitality, Lost Vigor and Manhood
Cure Impotency, Night Emissions, Loss of Mem-
— ory, all wasting diseases,
all effects of self-abuse or
excess and indiscretion.
A nerve tonic and
blood builder. Brings
the pink glow to pale
cheeks and restores the
fire of youth. By mail
!50c per box. 6 boxes for
50, with our bankable gaurantee to cure
or refund the money paid. Send for circular
and copy of our bankable guarantee bond.
EXTRA STRENGTH
soil. Unless this quantity
is returned to the soil,
the following crop will
materially decrease.
We-have hooks telling about
composition, use and value of
fertilizers for various crops.
They are sent free.
GERMAN KALI WORKS,
93 Nassau St.,
New York.
T T T T T T-»-» » » T
DESIGNS
TRADE-MARKS
AND COPYRIGHTS
OBTAINED
- ADVICE AS TO PATENTABILITY
Notice in “ Inventive Age ”
• Book “How to obtain Patents”
PATENTS
An Unpleasant Relative.
“Her rich old uncle isn’t a bit nice to
her, is he?”
“Nice! He’s horrid! Why,* he
threatens her awfully!”
“Threatens her?”
“Yes, threatens to leave all his money
to a hospital for asthmatic eats.”—-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
When a man is out of money, he
doesn’t show any, but when he is out
of temper he shows a lot of it.—Chica
go News.
(yellow label) Immediate Results
guaranteed cure for Loss of Power,
. , Undeveloped or Shrunken Organs,
Paresis, Locomotor Ataxia, Nervous Prostra
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Liquor. By mail in plain package, $1.00 a
box, 6 for $5.00 with our bankable guar
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money paid. Address
&SERVBTA MEDICAL CO.
Clinton & Jackson Sts,, CHICAGO, ILL.
For sale by H. M. Holtzclaw,Druggist, Perry,Ga
Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure
Digests what you eat.
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Nature in strengthening and recon.
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Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Heartburn,
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Sick Headache, Gastralgia-,Cramps and
all other results of imperfect digestion.
Price 50c. and $1. Large size contains 254 timers
small size. Book all about dyspepsia mailedfree
Prepared by E. C. DeWlTT 600., Chicago.
Younc^Womexi
The entry into womanhood Is a
critical time for a girl/ Little men
strual disorders started at that time soon
grow into fatal complications. That
female troubles are filling graveyards
proves this. Wine ofvCardui estab
lishes a painless and natural menstrual
flow - . When once this important func
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usually follow. Many women, young
and old, owe their lives to Wine of
Cardui. There is nothing like it to
give women freedom from pain and to
fit young women for every duty of life.
$1.00 bottles at druggists.
Miss Della M. Strayer, Tully, Kan.: “1
have suffered untold pain at menstrual pe
riods for a long time, was nervous, had no
appetite, and lost interest in everything,
in fact was miserable. I have takes four
bottles of Wine of Cardui, with Thedford’s
Black-Draught, when needed, and to-day
I am entirely cured, i cannot express the
thanks 1 feel for what you have done
for me.”
For advice in cases requiring special direc
tions, address, giving symptoms; the Ladies’
Advisory Department, Tbe Chattanooga, Med
icine Company, Chattanooga;, Term.
EXPRESS
PAID*
In the year 1600 the manufacture of
tilk began in England.
Something useful or entertaining: or, if yon
already have an invention get a
PATENT.
. There is abundant profit in good patented
inventions. Send for our interesting Hlus-
ents that protect. Terms lowest possible for
best service. OUR FEES REFUNDED IF WE
FAIL TO SECURE PATENT. No charges for
examination and opinion as to patentability.
Promptness guaranteed. Best of references.
Over 31 years experience. Address
R. S. & A. B. LACEY, Patent Solicitors,
Washington, D. C.
Mention this ^paper when you -write.
PENNSYLVANIA PUKE EYE,
EIGHT YEARS OLD.
OLD SHARPE WILLIAMS.
Four ful Quarts of this Fine Old, Pnre
RYE WHISKEY,
$3.50
We ship on approval in plain, sealed boxes;
with no marks to indicate contents. When (you
receive it and test it, if it is not satisfactory,
return it a 1 our expense and we wil return your
§3.50. TVe guarantee this brand to be
EIGHT TEARS OLD.
Eight bottles for $6 50, express prepaid;
12 bottfes for §9 50 express preoaid.
One gallon jug, express prepaid, §3 00 •
2 gallon jug, express prepaid, §5 50.
No charge for boxing.
We handle all the leading brands of Rye and
Bourbon Whiskies and will save you
SO Per Cent, on Your Purchases:
_ Quart, Gallon.
Kentucky Star Bourbon, ..§ 35
Elkridge Bourbon 40
Coon Hollow Bourbon. 45
Melwood Pure Bye.. ... 50
Monogram Bye. 55
McBrayer Rye.... 60
Baker’s A AAA 65
O. O. P. (Old Oscar Pepper) 65
Old Crow 75
Fincher’s Golden Wedding..." 75
Hoffman House Rye..... cjo
Mount Vernon, 8 rears old. . 100
Old Dillinger Rye, 10 years old,.... 125
The above a re only a few brands.
Send for a catalogue.
All other goods by the gallon, such
Whiskey, Peach and Apple Brandies, e
equally as low, from §125 a gallon and
We make a speeiasty of the Jug Trade,
and.all orders by Mail or Telgeraphwill
have our prompt attention: Special
inducements offered.
Mail orders shipped same dav of the
receipt of order.
The Altmayer & Plateau
Liquor Company,
606, 50S, 510, 512 Fourth Street, near
Union Passenger Hepot.
MACON, GEORGIA.
CJ A STO S3. X .
Bears the The Kind You Have Always Bougffi.
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of
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nr
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PENETRATING THE
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toNew Y@s»k,
Bostmi
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THE
Complete Information, Rates, Schedules of
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fully Furnished by any Agent of the Company.
THEO. D. KLINE, E. H. HINTON,
- General Supt. Trafic Manager.
. J. C. HAILE, Gen’l Pass. Agt.,
SAVANNAH, GA.
50 YEARS'
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special notice, without
Handbook on Patents
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receive
ugh Munn &
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