Newspaper Page Text
THE NEWS, GAlNSVILLE, GEORG 1 IA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23, 1022
MOST SPLENDID OF- AGES
M4JSIC IS SENT OVER WIRE
Surely, In the New Era o? the Last
Few Years, Life Is Really /
Worth the While.
How Skaters In China Enjoy Favorite
Recreation With Regular Jazz ^
'Accompaniment,
Folks who arc prone to believe
there is no ^.ch thing as real win'- •
taring in simiiv China will be inter
ested in the announcement that the
Peking dub-*pos.ses£es one of the
most up-to-date ice rinks of the day,
Thanks to the introduction of the
latest 'American developments in
telephone amplification, the skaters
who have been making the rink
their headquarters thin year have
been able to perform with a regular
jazz accompaniment;
The apparatus was of the same
type as that used at President Hard
ing’s inauguration. Several ampli
fying horns were set up about the
ceiling of the rink and connected by
wires and an amplifying device with
a phonograph run by a Celestial
youngster in the club basement. The
effect is more satisfying than the
brassiest of brass bands.
The Peking club has a first-class
hockey team. It is made up of the
best skaters among the foreign ele
ment at the Chinese capital Its fol
lowers maintain that it can hold its
own with any average American col
lege.sextette.
Do yott ever stop to tell yourself <
what a ^ood time tills is to be alive! ,
For is it not a new era; lias not life
become life indeed In these last few
years? The generation which has
reached middie age or middle age and
a half used to" boast of Us new woriel,
meaning thereby a world which had
made automobiles and airplanes and 4
fast printing presses and telephones
and had in turn been made by these.
It was a mistaken boast, asserts the
Villager. Machinery creates things,
-not life; the new heaven and earth
which we bought In electric supply
shops was merely the old, disguised
for the moment under a clutter of
new furniture. It takes new life to
make a new world. Who today can
be deaf and blind to the evidences
that life Is oisee again at the spring?
Movements are afoot stirring literally
half of earth’s population to new of
fices and to vast new dreams. Con
trast the age of machinery with the
age of women and say which involves
deepef-reaching. changes in civiliza
tion 1 Put the age of physics beside
.an age in which the half of the world
•that is Asia Is rubbing its eyes and
getting to its feet, and say which is
going to make deeper impress on the
spirits and ways of thought of man-
“kind 1 For that matter, think of the
world in which there was an America
busy -with problems of.liquor and.
FOUND OUT ALL ABOUT IT
Passer-By's Curiosity as-to the Ac-
tions of Unfortunate Glazier
Should Have Been Satisfied.
Glazed and glassy were the glazier’s
eyes. P.efore him, on the sidewalk, in
—P**! a th sand
jaJL / . pieces, lay what
Tic? ODE had been a sheet
gtii < 8 1 a s s, destined
for 1116 drawing-
• room window of
i 10 Swell street.
lUL But that draw-
lug-room window
^ ^ would have to go
windowless, for a piece of orange peel
had caused his downfall, and the
Smashed and shattered fragments
alone were left to tell the tale. Slow
ly he began to gather together the
debris.
’. “Helloa, my man!” inquired a, pass
er-by, cheerily. “Dropped your glass?"
The glazier glanced at the speaker
with' a look of proud contempt.
“Does it look as if I'd dropped it,
guv’nor” he drawled out. ‘“Fact Is,
I’ve got the jig-saw eraze. What you
see before you is a jig-saw puzzle, an'
I’m jest a-trying to ‘fit In the pieces'!"
—London Tlt-Blta. /
We have Succeeded in getting our Boys’ Clothing,
and other needed articles for School Days. Sped!
prices will be named on the opening sales.
Special Prices On Special Goods J
For the Boy s and Girls as Well asihfcGeneral Public
All will reap the benefit of this sale, be
ginnings’^ ' "V ■' j
PARROT A LIVELY PASSENGER
PROBABLY JOE WAS WISE
Offended at Restriction ef Its Liberty,
Bird Retaliated With Trick That
Irritated Sailer*.
Bring the children and fit
stock is fresh and new.
Unole Might Reasonably Have Been
Annoyed at the Nerve ef Hie
Small Nephew.
Joe’s Uncle John has just com*
to their house to stay, and Joe was
very much pleased. He was fond of
this particular relative, and rarely,
passed the store in which he worked
without going in to see him. But
tiie other day when Aunt Nellie met
Joe down town she found him out
side, instead of inside, the store
waiting for her.
She started to say something, hut
noticed the lovely knit tie Joe had
on, and instead said: “What a
beautiful new tie you have, dear.”
“It isn’t mine. It’s Uncle John’s,”
Joe grinned hack. And then after
Aunt Nellie had remarked tha J .
Uncle John was indeed generous to
lend KTm such an expensive tie, Joe
responded : “He didn’t loan it. I
just borrowed' it without asking.
That was the reason I waited out
here instead of going inside. I
thought he needn’t evfer know about
my borrowing his things,”—Indian
apolis News.
**v'f4 » ? V. nn can. infleea, ana is noi
of 1- 't a happy omen? Is It
aiot gom! ,i» be done with an ago In
which men were sure of everything,
‘4s which the future was made as defl-
taito as the past, In which events went
v*»y calculations, statistics, charts,
-diagrams, curves? What can you pre-
•dlct now by the charts and. curves?
Where are now your prophets which
^prophesied? No broker knows any
ilonger how to “read the tapeno
hanker can tell you just what turn
finance is going to take; no professor
can demonstrate how the close knit
ting together of the nations must
make war certainly Impossible; no
preacher 1% saying what religion Is
going to dominate the world in the
next 500 years; no politician Is prom
ising what form of government will
be In the ascendant when he Is a
little while gone. Where cocksureness
ends faith begins. Yes; It Is a good
time to be alive!
Jack O’Brien, a big green parrot,
was one of a consignment of 100 birds
on £*$ 'Booth liner Justin during a
trip from Manaos, Brazil, 1,000 miles
np the Amazon, which ended at this
port yesterday, says the New York
World. Jack was made a pet by
those on board, and he accumulated
a whole bagful of tricks. One day
when the vessel had headed north,
from Barbados, her last port of call,
Jack took offense because one of the
officers shooed him out of bis room
when the bird Interfered with the mak
ing out of a report.
For a day Jack brooded, spending
his time with the chief engineer.
Early the next morning the parrot
went to the cages of the other birds
and liberated at least a score of them.
This caused consternation among the
negroes of the crew, for parrots kepi
popping out at them from dark places
andi screeching In their ears when not
expected. Finally all the birds were
recaptured.
The officers were responsible for the
story that Jack at 11:45 o'clock every
night, when the watch was changed,
would mhunt the bridge and shout
out: “Change watch!”
Grafting Tails on Goldfish.
It seems that when goldfish are very,
very young their flesh is entirely trans
parent, so that iio Roentgen ray is
necessary in Order to see every bone
of the spinal column—that Is to say, if
one has a pair of good magnifying
glasses. It is during the time that
the flesh Is thus transparent that the
grafting must be done. The operation
Is a most delicate one, and must, of
L course, be done under' water, and with
gj-hlcely adjusted instruments. The tail
Pts cut off, and two, three, or four more
are grafted on (n its place. Many die
during the operation, but a sufficient
proportion live to make the business
a paying one. A flsir with four or
‘five tails Is worth a good deal of
money, as there are likely to be many
rare 'Specimens among 'its offspring.
•Generations of this kind of culture in
Japan have njade its goldfish superior
to those *f any other country. The
‘climate also favors their growth, as
abundant air and sunshine are of the
Utmost Importance to their health and
coloring. wWNsaojyrs*
INVENTS FLOATING SAFE,
I have about twenty-five new and slight
shop-worn Grafonolas that I will offer forth
next ten days at special prices.
> I will also give with each machine from 6 to 25 nj
ords free. This is an opportunity never before offered ts
you. I need the room for other line and am make*
this offer to get stock out of the way, I will also at this
time give a reduction of from 10 to 25.per cent on every
thing in Jewelry, Cut Glass, Silverware, Clocks
Watches, Etc. ■ j ,
OP*) Everything in my store will be reduced for
Golf. Ball Insurance Now. t
^The beginner at golf; although’ he
may not be able to drive his ball very
far, generally gets It Into the rough
sooner or later, and manages to lose
a good many of the expensive-little
spheres. C • j
At one of the country clubs near
New York, says the Sun of that; city,
the caddie master Is doing a nice lit
tle business Insuring balls. For 50
cents lie agrees to, replace With balls
In good condition any that are lost.
His caddies are well trained and In
most cases he comes out ahead; for
he gives his patrons second-hand 'balls
which have been found on the Units
and repninted. Their, cost to him is
practically nothing.
Greed Brought About Fish's Death.
While walking along the north shore
of Horse lake. British Columbia, a Wad
er found two dead fish under curious
circumstances, a ling about three; feet
long and a sucker abput 18 tniches
long, The ling had tried, to swallow
the sucker head foremost, but the
'body of the latter Was too' thick fof
his throht and the stiff tin op the buck
of the sucker, acting like the barb of.
a flsb-hook, made it impossible’ for'
the ling to free himself.
be set off at regular, intervals, and
its machinery, it is claimed, would
operate it for more than a month.
Nancy mited her motto, who
'lot the name “Adam’s apple,” as ap- was ill, at the hospital. In passing
i piled to the thyroid cartilage of the down a corridor Nancy looked into
“ larynx, a projection' which, usually Is toe open doors of the rooms on
Somen“° re aPPttmit (han l * either side and saw the patients
This‘legend states that Adam, when fM in their beds. After the visit
he attempted to swallow his bite of was over and we were back home I
the apple from the Tree of Life, asked her how she liked the big
choked, and the fruit stuck in his [house where mother was. Her an-
throat. All males since Adam have ; « W ell it>fl „ flirmv Dlac0
had this proturberance as silent evl- ' ®^ er wa8 ’ • - > » -tYP™”:
dence of the Indiscretion of their in-., Every, one was at home, but they
cestdr. ) were all in bed.”—Chicago Tribune,
— ‘ ^ '
Cut to Suit,
“What’s the name of your new
..dance, professor?"
’,*• .‘"The kangaroo hop."
‘■ H, ft „?ffsht to prove popular among
VdiscxTriJirihTlngr daucei^, but a kanga
roo covers a considerable distance In
one bop." ,
“Wo’ve scaled down the hop so it
win be suitable for small dancing par
ties. It wouldn’t do for, a couple td
CAREFUL PUBLICITY.
“One of those days,” said Senator
Sorghum, “I’m going to quit work
and go fishing.”
“Do you feel fatigued?”
“No. But I want to get an an
nouncement- to my constituents
that’ll sound as if I have be<ln work
ing hard enough to need a vaca
tion.”
If you ever intend to buy anything in this line it *
! see for yourself
pay you to investigate my prices. Come
Now remember that these prices made at this time will o"
hold good 10 days from today, September 2.
JDeater ■ I F C
Mood of Skepticism.
“A boy with a bent pin 1s likely to
catch more fish than yo\l will, With
that expensive tackle,"» ,,
"Mobbo so,” replied the patient? an
gler. ‘Anyhow, the small boy wpuld
be willing tb trade even any Hole I
mnde the proposition. And, besides,'
How do you know that isn’t on$ of
those entertaining fish stories that
leap the entire length of the ball-:
rboih,”—Birmingham Age-Herald,
7^4®: —
Why Lingered.
‘ '“Mr. Grnbcoln can’t see you now.”
“HI’'Wait," said the caller.
\ ' wiay be engaged for an hour
’or"Two.’ r ' . / :• "l
"I’ll wait,"
‘•And even then 1 can’t promise that
he will see you."
“Nevertheless, young man, I’ll wait"
“ ’Patience on a robnument,’ eh?"
“’No, lmpecunloslty waiting for a
iUmw."—Birmingham Ag»-Bori},l<]k
\ DISPLAY QF ERUDITION,
“Does your husband find much
pleasure in gardening?”
“Yes,” replied Mrs. Crosslots;
“but not in the way you’d think. He
gets most oi hie enjoyment memor
izing the botanical names on the en
velopes and surprising company
when ho a>k« 'cm to pass the vege
table*.” *
those entertaining fish stories
can't be verified?"
JEW£LRY?\t-
SILVERWARE. <
CLOCKS ETC. 1
Ancient Will. Discovered.
The will of'a centenarian who diqd In
England In 1880 lias just been found
In the roof of an outhouse. It was
dated 1780, . |
Gainesville, Georg
r vre
uiw