Newspaper Page Text
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nah is about to build a $230,000
Savan subscription. .
betel by has sold 3,000,000
CJnittauooga firm
4 to firm in Boston.
feet of lumber one
Mississippi ofrich has only twenty-tin,*, pres
deposit phosphates has been
discover ed near Selma. Alabama,
The largest crop of wheat ever sown
East Tennessee has been seeded this
ia
fall.
The financial condition of New Or¬
is said to be better tlian ever b0 ‘
gans
fore. in the Ever
The number of Indians
glad es of Florida is estimated at eight
hundred. '
The Georgia owners of the Refugio sil
in Mexico, refuse to sell it for
m .
$500,000. county, Flor
A farmer of Suwannee
has gathered two crops of peaches
from his trees this year.
Calhoun county, Alabama, is aglow
over the proposition to move the court¬
house from Jacksonville to Anniston.
The grand jury' of Craighead county,
Arkansas, declared their jail a nuisance,
and recommended that it be torn down.
The sum of $5,116 has been donated
bv the trustees of the Peabody school
fund to the Florida school system this
year. population of 1,541,
Tennessee has a
000 and pays about $8 00 per capita as
revenue to the state and general govern
ment.
Thirty thousand dollars have been
Bn bscribed for the Newnan, Ga., cotton
factory, and Dr. A. B. Calhoun has do¬
nated the ground.
The South Florida railroad has used
up the timber to such an extent that
there will not be enough to furnish boxes
for the shipping of the orange crop.
Northern capitalists will locate two ice
factories, each with a capacity of ten
tons daily, in Florida, There will be
one at Tallahassee and one at Gaines
ville.
The Southern Telegraph company will
reach Augusta with their wires by the
middle of next month, and from that
point will operate in every city of impor¬
tance in the South.
Spanish mackerel and some other fish
only to be found in the spring have re¬
cently been abundant in the waters about
Savannah. The fish dealers say the
cause of their appearance at this time is
the late long drouth.
The contract to build a pedestal for
the Jackson statue, on Capitol Hill,
Nashville, Tenn., has been awarded to
Mr. P. Swann, of that city. It is to be
of East Tennessee marble, of a beauti¬
ful pink color, and fourteen feet in
height.
The work now going forward on the
Panama canal has built up an entire
town there, with a collection of -work¬
shops, warehouses and connecting rail¬
ways for tho reception and distribution
of material. The working force ■will be
augmented in December to a total of
15,000 men.
The lumber business in the swamps of
the Yazoo and Tallahatchie rivers, Miss.,
is assuming immense proportions. Be¬
sides the great amount of cypress lum
ber that is being gotten out, thousands
of walnut logs are being cut for northern
manufacturers of furniture and other
articles in which walnut is used. One
Boston firm alone has a raft of 3,000
logs, ready for shipment, at the mouth
of the Tallahatchie river,
The worth of the early vegetables sent
north from Mobile county, Alabama, last
year, amounted to $264,000. About the
Same amount will be realized this season.
The principal vegetables used are cab¬
bages, tomatoes, potatoes, beans and
peas. Less attention is now given to
cauliflower, lettuce, radishes, and cu
Cumbers, as all except the first are raised
in the North, under glass. Several capi¬
talists have recently put considerable
money in the business of market garden¬
ing at Mobile.
Florida oranges are moving slowly on
account of their maturing slowly. Job¬
bers are making their contracts for the
fruit by the box instead of by the thous¬
and. The crop cf one grove near San¬
ford, estimated at four thousand boxes,
bas been sold at $2 10 per box, tbe pur¬
chaser bearing tbe expense of picking
and boxing. It is is estimated that fully
one half of the crop will go to the "West.
From a quarter to a third of the crop
Went west last year, but this year the fa¬
cilities are better and shippers are better
acquainted with the market.
The Washington monument has re roll
e d a height of three hundred and eighty
f°ur feet, and cost, thus far, as follows:
Expended by the monument association
B Pou the old shaft, $230,000; expended
b y Colonel Casey, $710,000; leaving a
balance on hand of $190,000 from the ap¬
propriation by Congress of $900,000. A
reporter who ascended to the top last
*"eek found men shifting the massive
machinery and preparing to lay the 386th
Course. The workmen, he says, ran
mound the edges with the agility of
flies, and trusted their lives to the safety
Getting that surrounds the top.
THE posted every WEEKLY dwelling in t !> oeinher ■“_
VOLUME VI.
EDITORIAL NOTES.
The total revenue derived from dram¬
shops and wine and beer licenses from
September 1 to January 1, under the
new high license law at St. Louis,
amounts to $255,128, an increase of
$138,697.
The reduction of the public debt dur¬
ing October wis $10,304,789; decrease of
the debt since June 30, 1883, $39,584,470.
Cash in the treasury, $374,347,501; gold
certificates, $82,228,940; silver certifi¬
cates, i99,579,141; certificates of deposit,
$12,620,000; refunding certificates, $325
850; legal tenders, $246,681,016; frac¬
tional currency, $6,890,303.
China is a country of marvelous ex¬
tent. We consider the United States,
with 3,000,000 square miles of territory,
a very large country. And so it is. But
China covers about 5,300,000 square
miles in its three parts—the Eighteen
Provinces, Manchuria, and the Colonial
Possessions, including Hi, Koko-nor and
Thibet. The first of these divisions
alone is that to which other nations have
given the name of “China,” and is the
only part entirel ysettled by the Chinese.
The Cubans, it is said, are about to
make a supreme effort to cut loose from
the dominion of Spain. General Bona
chea has sailed from New York with an
expedition, and others are to follow.
The friends of Cuba in the United
States are very active, and the revolu¬
tionists have great hopes of success.
The negro slaves on the sugar planta¬
tions are said to be ready to join in a
revolution, Meanwhile, the Spanish
government is in a state of alarm, a ;d
extreme measures are to be taken to nip
the new movement in the bud.
A New York man has imported a pair
of Indian mangooses, the first that ever
came to America. They are a little
larger than a good sized rat; their bodies
are covered with brown hah-, variegated
with white stripes. The importer will
breed these animals and soil them as
vermin exterminators, It is claimed
that they have no equal in that business.
One mangocse will rid the largest house
of rats, and they destroy snakes with
wonderful avidity and are the inveterate
enemy of every species of vermin. But
they are gentle and harmless to human
beings.
T he grape cropt of Ohio, representing
a great industry, is a dead failure, and
California will have to be depended on
for the main supply of domestic wine.
Besides furnishing an immense American
trade, California sends great quantities
of wine abroad every year. It is there
manipulated, labelled and sent back to
the United States, to be bought at fancy
prices and sipped with the knowing
smile of tbe pretentious American epi
cure. It is certain that central Califor
nia is now producing the richest quality
to be found anywhere. 1 he art of wine
making is not properly cultivated, and
the state thus loses much of the possible
value of its fruitful vines.
A quarter of a million coses are now
brought each year before the consular
anl commercial courts of France, and
the number is steadily increasing. Much
the larger share of this great crop of liti¬
gation arises in the commercial centers,
Paris, Lyons and Marseilles furnishing
forty per cent, of the whole number.
The cases are rapidly disposed of, not
over ten per cent, being carried beyond
a year. About twenty-eight per cent, of
the eases are settled by actual trials,
forty-two per cent, on judgment by de¬
fault and thirty per cent, on compromise.
The number of failures is each year
about six thousand, and bankruptcy pro¬
ceedings are rather slow. They do, how
' over, generally end ir a dividend.
The postmaster-general has received
the annual report of Joseph Blackfan,
su perintendent of foreign mails. The
total weight of mails dispatched to the
countries in the postal union, with the
exception of Canada, was 1,532,990
pounds, an increase of 329,114 pounds
over the weight of last year. Of the let
ter mail dispatched, 41 per cent, was sent
to Great Britain and Ireland, 23 pei
cent, to Germany, 27 per c°nt. to other
countries of Europe, and 9 per cent, to
postal union countries and colonies out¬
side of Europe. Of the printed matter
and samples sent, 41 per cent, was sent
sent to Great Britain and Ireland, 17 to
Germany, 21 to other European coun¬
tries, and 21 to postal union countries
outside of Europe. The amount of mail
dispatched ast year increased seventy
per cent, over the amount sent in 1880.
Printed matter increased seventy-foui
GA.. NOVEMBER 16. 1883.
per cent, over the same time. The sum
paid for sea transportation of mails was
$316,522, au increase over the cost of
1882 of $36,368, or fifty-nine per cent
over f8S0. The aggregate amount of the
balance credited to this country by other
countries on account of mail transpor
cation, is §145,777. The sum paid by
die department to other postal union
jountries on account of mail transporta¬
tion was $86,745. It is estimated that
the* revenue collected in the United
States from unpaid matter, received from
foreign countries, exceeded the amount
of unpaid matter sent to other countries
$123,333. The estimated amount of
postage collected in the United States on
foreign mail matter is $2,078,913.
Advice to a Young Man.
Yon will perceive, my boy, that every
time man undertakes to manufacture a
little Bible on his own account, he malres
a mortifying failure of it. He is caught
at it, and in one tenth of the time it
took him to conceive his fraud, in as
many hours as it took him months to
prepare it, he is exposed, and his hand¬
made addition to the Bible is swept
away in the other rubbish of other coun¬
terfeiters. You see, my son, the Bible
doesn’t need any of these nineteenth
century proofs of its truth ; it needs the
word of no man to establish its genuine¬
ness; it has stood by itself, “an anvil
that has worn out many hammers,”
through and century unchangeable. after century, un¬
changed Every time
a man manufactures a new verse or a
new chapter we know it is not genuine,
we detect the counterfeit. The Bible
has no need of the leather supporting prop of a
fraudulent aik or a Deuteronomy.
There was a complete Bible centuries
before Shapira happened, and there will
be the same Bible ages after Shapira and
his patent Deuteronomy have together
crumbled into indistinguishable dust.
The Bible doesn’t need our help, our
testimony, onr indorsement. And if
there had never been discovered in ah
the world a bit of parchment, a piece of
broken pottery or a scratched stone, the
Bible would be just as strong as it is
to-day, and men would believe just as
firmly aud trustfully in because its truth. Shapira’s Don’t
you worry, my boy,
ancient manuscript was written with
London ink, and don’t fret because the
ark in the glacier turns out to be put
together with Pittsburgh nails. That
all the frauds on the Bible and its his¬
tory' are so quickly and easily detected
should only’ convince you how impossi¬
ble it is to counterfeit the work of God.
Wait until some man fools us with an
artificial moon; and until some philoso¬
pher stores away the sunlight in parlor
lamps, before you believe that man can
successfully imitate what man never
made.— Burdette.
A Yisit to the Tichborne Claimant.
Mr. Quartermaine East, Mr. Hay¬
worth, of Southport, and Mr. Grey, of
Southampton, paid their quarterly visit
to the claimant in Portsea convict prison
recently. He informed them, in the
course of conversation, that he would
rather rot in prison than be liberated as
Ortou. Though he knew the present
Government would do nothing for him,
he hoped his friends would not lose their
confidence. He complimented the prison
officials on their kindness, and evinced
great pleasure in telling his friends that,
owing to his having earned a first-class
certificate, after their next visit in
November he would be entitled to re¬
ceive their visits every two months till
his imprisonment expired, which, sup¬
posing he was allowed out on tieket-of
leave, would be about Christmas, 1884.
The claimant is at present employed in
the carpenter shop.— London Tele¬
graph.
WHX SHE CRIED.
A little girl sat on the floor crying.
After awhile she stopped and seemed
buried in thought. Looking up sud¬
denly, she said:
“Mamma, what was T crying about?”
“Because I wouldn’t let you go down
town.” i
“Ob, yes,” and she set up a howl.—
Arkansaw Traveler.
_
Evading the Law.—A Pennsylvania
judge has recently put a stop to the cu¬
rious method of evading the liquor law
in the petroleum regions of that State.
The sellers have been openly retailing
without license, under the sign of
“Bottling Works,” and claiming the
right to do so by virtue of a statute that
bottlers of ale, porter, or beer, not
otherwise engaged in the sale of intoxi¬
cating liquors, shall be allowed to sell
the same by the bottle, provided it is not
drunk on the premises. repealed Judge El by well
decided that this law was a
subsequent enactment.
“Doctor,” said a man to his physi¬
cian who had just presented a bill of $50
for treatment during ready a recent illness,
“ I have not much money. Will
you not take this out in trade ?” ‘ Oh,
yes,” cheerfully answered the doctor;
“I think that we can arrange that.
What is your business?” “I am a cor¬
net player.” was the reply.— Harper's
Bazar
The Tailors. —The tailors of Phila¬
delphia have passed, in a mass meeting,
a resolution to “maintain the appren¬
ticeship system, to the end that the
skilled labor which is so imperatively
demanded in onr particular trade shall
be transmitted unimpaired to our sue
cessors. „
The Little Old Lady Traveler."
We stop at a quiet country side that
] las recently achieved a station and a
little old grandmother comes among us.
A farm wagon is at a respectful distance
with a careful old man holding the bits
of the fat and sleepy horses, who do not
even dream of being frightened. The
little old lady calls out something to the
distant old man, who smiles in the
doubtful way of one who doesn’t under¬
stand a word, and she would like to lin¬
ger on the platform and say more part¬
ing words to the elderly daughter who
has eome to see her off, but the brake
man gently assists her within and slams
the door. She gives a little stagger as
the train moves on, sinks into the first
vacant seat and turning to the
window nods to her daughter,
who smiles back reassuringly. A kiudlv
gentleman leans forward and tells her of
a better seat further down, and carries
her large covered basket for her, and
partly lowers the blind where the sun is
streaming in. People are very kind to
the very old and very young; it is the
forlorn middle-aged who are permitted
to care for themselves.
Our grandmother sits down with a
chirping “thank ye”—she is not looks of the
age that says “thanks”—and cu¬
riously about her. Possibly she had
never rode in the ears, for her old eyes
are full of childlike wonder and surprise;
and she has quite a long explanation
from the conductor before she yields her
ticket to him, and she watches him tear
off a part of it as if he were doing a great
mischief. She even appeals to a fellow
passenger—after the smiling official had
passed on—to know if every thing is all
right, and calmed by his cheerful assur¬
ance, she smiles too, and admits that
she “ain’t used to travelin’.”
A quaint picture she is !—her shirred
black silk bonnet is twenty years old if
a day, but it has a fresh ruche inside
and glossy new strings; tlio black silk
shawl pinned across her breast with a
round gold brooch is of the kind you
remember seeing in your childhood, and
her dress is a soft silken alpaca that can
be an old lady’s best dress for many
years and give little sign of wear. Peo¬
ple sitting near her, if given to noticing
trifles, can detect a faint, homely, clean
odor as of dried mint and lavender.
She looks at the ingeniously hung lamps,
the pretty transparencies her in hand the gently upper
windows, and passes
over the velvet upholstery—smiling smile. Per¬ a
little retrospective sort of
haps she is thinking of the old stage
days, of the time years and years ago
when she and her husband traveled by
canal and lake and river and possibly by
ox-cart into these far western wilds and
set up their humble new home with
little capital but strong hands and brave
hearts.— Peck's Sun.
Wliy lie Brought Them Back.
A small boy with an intelligent face
went into a fruit dealer’s store, and de¬
positing a box of grapes on the counter,
stood looking down,
“I don’t want the grapes, my Kttle
fellow,” said the dealer. “I’ve got as
many now as I can sell. Take them
away.”
“They are yours,” the boy said, look¬
ing up.
“Mine?”
“Yes, sir. Yesterday evening I came
along here and took this box I knowed of grapes
from a stand at the door. it
was stealin’, an’ my mother always told
me not to take anything that did not be¬
long to me, but I couldn’t help it. Just
before I left home my little sister that
was sick said : ‘Oh, if I had some grapes
like them I saw down town, I could eat
’em.’ We didn’t have no money, an’
nobody knowed us, ’cause we had just
moved into the house. Mother washed
clothes, but wben sister got sick she
had to quit. When I took the clothes
home the lady told me to come
next day for . the money, but
when I went there the house
was shut up and the people was gone,
so we didn’t have any money to get
grapes with. Mother said ‘never mind,
we would git some money after a while. ’
I saw her go into the other room, an’
when I watched her, she had her face
buried in a pillow an’ was prayin’. I
come away down town an’ stood aronn’
a long time waitin’ to git a chance, an’
after awhile, when you wasn’t lookin’,
I took a box an’ ran away with it.”
“But why did you bring it back?”
the dealer asked.
“Because,” replied the boy, choking
down a sob, “ wheu I got home the lit¬
tle girl was dead.”— Arkansaw Trav¬
eler.
He Was the Man.
It was on a Western railroad. The
conductor had been his rounds, and
taken a seat beside a very quiet and un¬
assuming passenger. finally observed
“Pretty fall train,”
the passenger.
“Yes.”
“Road seems to be doing a good busi¬
ness.”
“Oh, the road makes plenty of monev,
but—”
“But what ?” asked the passenger, as
the other hesitated.
“Bad management. It is the worst
managed line in this whole country.”
“Is that so?”
“That’s so. The board of officials
might know how to ran a side-show to a
circus, but they can’t tackle a railroad.”
“Who is the biggest fool in the lot?”
“Well, the superintendent is.”
“I’m glad of that,” said the passen¬
ger, as his face lighted up. president.” “I was afraid
von would say it was the
“Suppose I had?”
“Why, I’m the man!”— Wall Street
News.
NUMBER 34.
THE JOKERS’ BUDGET.
vVHAT WK FIND IN THE HUMOROUS
PAPERS TO LAUGH OVER.
A PIONEER EXHIBITOR.
In the early days of Michigan, when
a county fan - was to be remembered,
one of the southern counties in Michi¬
gan held a fair one fall at which one of
the exhibitors was a man named Pro
ther. He had an entry of poultry, an¬
other of cattle and a third of vegetables.
When the judges in poultry came
around Prother met them with:
“Gentlemen, here are the biggest
hens, the fattest geese and the heaviest
turkeys in the State. I want first pre¬
mium.”
“We’ll see about it,” replied one.
“I want first premium or I’ll lick the
three of you half to death I” announced
Prother in a strictly business tone, and
it may be said right here that he didn’t
get the premium and that he kept battered his
word. Two of the judges were
until they couldn’t see, and the third got
away after having two teeth knocked
out.
When the judges on cattle came
around they turned up their noses at
Prother’s old cow and two half-starved
calves, but he placidly remarked:
“Gentlemen, that ’ere cow was driven
480 miles to reach this State, and them
calves can’t be beat for blood. Their
grandmother was owned by the Empress
of France.”
Something was said about his careless¬
ness in not entering the stock for the
bone-yard instead of the fair and he an¬
swered with:
“Gentlemen, I’m willing to take sec¬
ond premium, and if I don’t get it you’d
tietter hire some one to hold me!”
They neglected had his their advice, and in driven due
course of time noses
back or their eyes put in mourning.
Prother was telling the judges on veg¬
etables what they might expect in case
he did not get a premium, when he was
arrested, but only after he had pounded
two constables. Within three weeks
after the fair he had mauled the Presi¬
dent, rim the Secretary into the woods,
and pulverized the Treasurer, and be¬
fore the end of six months he had licked
all the judges but two, and was hunting
for them with great energy when he got
before the courts and was sent to jail for
a year. —M. Quad.
WANTED TO BE A PITCHER.
“Who is this gentleman that papa
calls a daisy ?”
“He is a ball player, my dear.”
“But papa said lie had a ‘phenomenal
curve’ and that they couldn’t hit him.”
“Yes, my dear.”
“But, mamma, he stood up straight,
and I didn’t see any one try to hit him.”
“Papa meant the ball, my dear.”
“Yes, mamma, but I didn’t see the
ball.”
“Neither could the batters, my dear.”
“But what makes every one talk
about him and call him a ‘daisy ?’ ”
“Because he’s the new pitcher firom (llub
Chicago, whom the manager of the
has just secured at $3,000 a season.”
“But “Only is he so pitcher.” very smart, mamma f”
as a
“But can’t he really write his own
name, mamma?”
“So they say, my dear.”
“And yet they give him $3,0001”
“Yes, my dear.”
“When I grow up can’t I be a
pitcher, mamma?” • i •
“Perhaps, my dear, but why?”
“Could I get $3,000?”
“Perhaps.” read
“And not have to learn to or
write ?”—Burdette.
j “ f ~
MISTAKEN IDENTITT.
They were discussing mistaken iden¬
tity: “Hi was ’avin’a tarn down Pell
Mell one harfternoon,” said Mr. Gordon
Gordon, gyardsman “not doing anythink, when harsked an
old couldn’t came hup hand pension.
me hif Hi raise ’is
‘Bless me ’art,’ says I, ‘Hi’m boy.’ not bin
the Pension Hoffice, me ‘But,’
says ’e, ‘m’ lnd Juke, cawn’t you give
me a letter to the ’Ome Secretary ? Hi
was with your Grace at Waterloo.' ‘But
Hi ’m not the Juke hof Wellington,’
says Hi. Bat blawst me, the fellow
wouldn’t believe hit, don’t ye see?”
“Saere bleu" said Monsieur Bienelevee,
jardang “I know zat myselef. Twilleree, I was an’ once smokeen in ze
of ze
mon cigarette, wen I pass zo gar ol
l’Empr-r-rer Napoleong. To mygr-r-re&t
constarenayshong ze gar pr-r-resenl tol
arm, an’ give me ze saloo. I ze
offeesare I was no l’Umpr-r-rer. an’ be
seem vare mooch sar-prise.” “Yes, it
was funny,” said Mr. Spriggs. “Why,
I was walking the other day down Broad¬
way, and a fellow—ought have known
me, too—a fellow came np and slapped
me on the back, and says he, ‘Why,
suffering Moses! when did you get
back !’ ”—Life.
hadn't consulted him.
“Yon should learn some trade, my
son,” said an Austin gentleman to his
young hopeful. “Bricklayers are getting
$6.50 a day, while cars.” lawyers can’t afford to
ride on the street
“Pa, why didn’t you learn a trade
when you were a boy ?”
“That’s not only a silly, but also an
impertinent question. I didn’t learn a
trade when I was a boy out of regard
for your feelings. I wanted to give you
an opportunity to say that your father
was a gentleman.”
“It can’t be helped now,” replied the
boy, moodily, “but 1 wish you had con¬
sulted me, for if wo had arranged for
you to be the bricklayer, I could
have been the gentleman myself.”—
Austin Siftings.
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM PARA¬
DISE HALL.
Brother Gardner Gives ns His View of
Charity as it Is and as It Should b®»
[From the Detroit Free Press.]
“De Secretary •will read de follerin’
eommunicashun,” said the President as
the meeting opened:
Bro. Gardner — Several of yonr friends
desire to know how you stand on the
question of charity this fall. Does the
club propose to donate anything to local
charity this winter ?
Respectfully, Four Friends.
“As to de fust query,” said the Presi¬
dent, as he drew himself up, “de an¬
swers dat I have heretofore given mus’
stand fur de answer now. De charity of
Detroit has bred a race of beggars who
will nebber leave us. It has added to
de loaferism an’ encouraged de idleness
an’ gineral sliif tlessness. It has said to
de heads of families: ‘Idle do summer
away an’ you - shall be supported durin’
de winter de ! Go ask de Poo’ doaii’ Superintend¬ return
ent if same persons
y’ar after y’ar? Ask him if men an'
women have not come to look upon a
poo’ fund as deir right an’ if they doan
lemand deir allowance, instead of ask¬
ing for it? Chairty filled de kentry
wkl tramps, When charity tried
to undo its work de tramps began to
burn bams an’ murder women an’
chill’en. Charity has encouraged a
drove of five hundred beggar chill’en to
march up an’ down ebery resident street.
£t has wasted its tears upon brutes of
men an’ its prayers upon hardened
women, an’ its money has gone to feed
people so vile an’ wicked dat State’s
Prison ached to receive ’em.
“As to de second query, dar’ am a
poo’ ole man libin’ nex’ doaii to Sir Isaac
Walpole. Who has paid his rent for
months past ? Charity ? No, gem’len;
charity neber h’ars of anybody but a bold¬
faced "beggar. only Our kept friend, de roof heah, ober Sir de
Isaac, has not
ole man’s head, but has furnished him
with many a meal to eat.
“ Up on Grove street, near de cabin
of Waydown Bebee, am apoo’ole woman
dat has gone blind. Brudder Bebee an’
odder members lias chipped in to had take
car’ of her, an’ whateber she has de
pas’ summer or has got now am due to
deir kindness. Town charity hasn’t dis
kibered her yet.
“ Up on Scott street, clus to de cabin
of Whalebone Howker, dar was a death
de odder day an’ two chill’en war’ left
alone in de world. Charity left ’em alone
in de house until de landlord turned ’em
into de street; den charity walked off an
Brudder Howker took de orphans home
an’ will keep ’em frew de winter.
“Up mv way dar’ am a sick man who
wants medicine—a boy wid ft broken leg
who wants nourialiin’ food—a woman
who has had a long run of fever widout
her rent failin’ behind or her chill’en
goin’ hungry. Let de cry of distress
come to Tickles Smith, Judge Cadaver,
Samuel Shin, Rev. Penstock or any odder
member who kin spare from his purse
or his table, an’ it am promptly an¬
swered. We know our naybru’s an’ we
are naburly. We found no hospitals, es¬
tablish no beggars’ headquarters, an’
issue no call for odder cities to send in
deir paupers to be supported, but our
naybur finds us at his sick bed, an’ mis¬
fortune finds our purses open. He who
has charity in his heart need not go
huntin’ fur de poo’ to relieve an’ far re¬
porters to puff deir gifts. Charity dat
rides aronn’ town on a fo’-hoss wagin
will see a workin’man starve an’ feed a
loafer who has spent half his summer in
de saloons. Let ns drap de subjiek an’
proceed to bizness.”
Traveling VYiinout a Ticket.
A “Traveler” writes to the London
Truth: “Perhaps the following storr
may be interesting to some of your read¬
ers, if they should be under the neces¬
sity of traveling without a ticket: The
other day, on the Railway, a mao
got into one of the carriages and pres¬
ently began talking to asked a fellow the passen¬ gentle¬
ger. After a time he
man whether he had heard the story
about how a man traveled without a
ticket. The gentleman said he had not;
so the man asked him to lend him his
ticket, that he might show him how ifc
wag done, and began fiddling about with
it, but pretended that the story had sud
denly slipped out of his head, , bat that
he would be sure to remember it soon.
After a time the train got near London,
and as the man still conld not remember
the story, he returned the gentleman his
ticket. This struck the gentleman he watchedi as
being very curious, and so
the man. When the man got to the
barrier and was asked for his ticket he
said he had given it up, but the ticket
collector denied it, and after a good
deal of altercation the man pulled some
silver out of his pocket and was about
to pay for his fare when piece he suddenly ticket)
said (producing a small of
that he could prove that he had given up
his ticket, because he remembered play¬
ing about with it in the train and tearing
off a small piece, and that if the ticket
collector looked he would find a ticket
with the piece tom off. On looking, the
ticket-collector found a ticket with a
piece torn off, and of course immediately
begged the man a thonsandpardons.”
A JUDICIOUS NEGRO.
Old Uncle Mose had never been to the
theatre, but having stuck up bills for a
theatrical troupe aud having received a
complimentary ticket to the gallery, he
concluded to attend the performance.
He went dressed up in his Sunday
attire. He had not been inside of the
theatre more than half an hour when he
emerged shaking his head.
“Don’t you like the performance, old
man ?” asked the surprised door-keeper.
“No, sah, I don’t like dem perform¬
ances no way ye kin fix it.”
“Why, what’s the matter?”
‘ Nufiin much, ’ceptin’ a ’oman on de
nlntfum got to talkin’ ’bout family ’fairs
wid de husband ob anudder ’oman, an’
1 didn’t perpose to stay. My ole marster
in Virginny got shot plum ter pieces for
doin’ dat berry foolishness. Dars idlers
trouble whar dat sort ob foolishness is
gwiue on, an’ Ise a judishns nigger, I is.
i don't want ter be shot in de leg by
mistake, or be bridged up as a vitness
in de case when it strikes de com ts.”—
Texas Siftings.
