A Friend of the family. (Savannah, Ga.) 1849-1???, May 17, 1849, Image 4

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M I & 0 A SHORT CHAPTER ON Ft N. The sources of the funny, unlike the sources of the sublime, are not fixed. There are few which are common to all. For authority on this head, 1 quote iEsop’s Institutes, title “Frog,” which, when found, please make a note of. Everybody has seen a kitten play with a mouse, the capture of which has perhaps been the first triumph of her juvenile skill. With what perfect complacency she regards the panting little victim, as it lies crouching before her, unharmed as yet, excepting by fear, vet seemingly conscious of its approaching fate. How still she sits, and feigns to look another way for the purpose of tempting her poor prisoner to make, perhaps, the fiftieth fruitless attempt at escape ; and if, discouraged by its repeated failures, it refuses to move, how gently she touches it with her needle-like claws and forces it to run. How nicely she calculates the exact distance to which she may safely in trust it, with a certainty of recovery, and then with what perfect precision does she pounce up on it. That’s fun —to tlic cat! It is often fun also to the human, and even to the humane specta tor, for mice have few friends. But to the little velvet-coated trembler, which sees in the playful kitten only a grisly bear, or a Hyrcanian tiger, and which looks up with horror at the whiskered jaws destined so soon to devour him —to him, I say, it is quite another allair. There is no possi ble point of view in which he can regard the case, in which it partakes in the least of a humorous character. Even the memory of that last deli cious meal upon a stray crumb of cheese, in the very act of partaking which, he was surprised by his bloodthirsty foe (what business wasitof hers?) even that remembrance fails now to afford a gleam of satisfaction. His days of merriment are past. Pu ss becomes tired of play, and taking her mus cipular friend head foremost into her mouth, for a moment presents the anomaly of a cat with a tail at each end ; but one preparatory craunch, in which a multitude of tiny bones are heard to crackle, and the catastrophe is ended. That fun is over. As far as this homely illustration goes, it proves the proposition with which we sot out. It might be proved in a great variety of ways. The un suspecting fish, which, while foraging for its din ner, suddenly finds a barbed hook in its vitals, and the chirruping squirrel, which, in the very act of bounding merrily along the forest boughs with an additional nut for his winter store, is overtaken by the leaden messenger of death, may both be cited, as the lawyers say, as cases in point. So may the soaring eagle, who from some lofty sum mit of a forest, over which he has presided for half a century an undisputed monarch, tumbles, bullet-pierced, by the rifle of the fun-loving sports man. But there are other varieties of fun in which all the parties concerned are human beings, yet which can scarcely be considered as partaking of a full degree of “ mutuality.” The pleasure conferred by them is not, like that enjoyed by Messrs. Pike and Pluck on meeting Mrs. Wittit erly at the opera, “ very mutual indeed.” Practical jokes of all kinds may be considered as coming within this class ; such as terrifying a family at midnight by means of a kite-string at tached to the handle of the knocker, and flooring an unsuspecting visitor by charging the door knob with electricity. The last named species is supposed also to involve a slight infraction of the rules of politeness, and is not to be countenanced in good society. Whether it is provided for in the “ Hand-book of Etiquette,” is not quite cer tain, but, if not, the insertion of the rule is re commended for the very next edition. Dan Yawhaw is very fond of fund. He is al ways on the look out for it, and dolorous indeed must be the subject from which he could not ex tracta little amusement. His laughter is perfectly contagious. There is no resisting it. When the culminating point of a joke is at hand, Dan looks vou full in the face, and keeps a close watch of the muscles about the corners of your mouth, in order to get a fair even start, and when the first course of cachinnatory peals is over, if a second similar scrutiny satisfies him that you are pre pared to accompany him on another round, he will lead of accordingly. I have the good for tune to number Dan among my friends, and whenever I visit any public place of amusement, which is but seldom, for I am myself a grave ancf saturnine man, I take pains to secure his company, as something more important than a choice"of seats. A front box at Placide’s bene fit is nothing compared to a seat with D&n. He scents a joke at such a distance, and compre hends its value so nicely,[and pays for it, too, on the spot, in such clear, genuine, ringing coin! And then how he scorns a dull man. “ Just look,” he said one evening at Burton’s, when the house had just been brought down by a drollery of Johnston’s. “ Look,” he said, wi ping the perspiration from his forehead, and still holding on to one aching side, “look at Mr. Eru dite Stolidity there, hunting for the point of that joke, see— see ! ” and sure enough, there was a grave, gentlemanly-looking man, with knotted brows, looking wonderingly around the house, and seemingly in search of something to laugh at. “ Now, that man,” said Dan, “ wouldn’t take a joke, if you should fire it at him with a pistol; and if you should tell him so he would reply that he didn’t see how that could be done, and that be had never heard of such a thing as firing a joke out of a pistol.” Like most men of humor, Dan has his memory stored with some choice stories, which he deals out at times with great gusto. Part of these re late to his own experiences, and one which he re lated to me but yesterday amused me so much, either by its own merit or by his manner of telling it, that I cannot refrain from attempting to repeat it. But I wish you could have beard it told , gen tle reader, for this drinking champagne out of a saucer isn’t exactly the thing. You should have been present when the bottle was uncorked, or rather when its neck was broken, although it might have endangered the dislocation of your own. “ I have a bachelor cousin,” said Dan, “who is verv near sighted ; in addition to which misfoi tunc, he is cross eyed. He has been operated up on for strabismus , on the new mode, but it only re sulted in changing the obliquity to a different di rection, and he designs, he says, to have it set back, for he likes his old squint the best. As 1 said, however, he is very near sighted ; I don’t think he ever saw his big toe, and I’ve seen him blot out his signature, with his nose, while writing it. But that is neither here nor there,” said Dan, “ Cousin Joe had a favorite spaniel, a handsome fellow, with long drooping ears and eyes that had a remarkably human expression. He was an af fectionate, faithful animal, and his master loved him as he would have loved a child. Well, one morning last summer, while passing down Broad way I encountered Joe wearing an aspect unusu ally doleful, and on inquiry I learned that Dash was very sick and was going to die. “He acts very strangely,” said Joe, “ And I’ve shut him up in the kennel.” “Ah,” said I, “hydrophobia, perhaps; won’t he drink? ” “Like a fish,” said Joe, “ bat he won’t cat /” “ Won’t eat ? ” “Not a morsel, not a crumb, I’ve tried him with everything ; I even had a chicken broiled for him yesterday, and buttered, and he wouldn’t touch it.” “ Well, that is strange,” said I. “ How long has he been in that condition ? ” “ This is the fifth day,” replied Joe, looking very serious, “and the poor fellow can hardly stand.” We were not far from Joe’s house at this time, and I proposed to visit his patient, to which he gladly assented, and led the way, uttering man}’ anenconium on poor, faithful Dash, and express ing his fears that we might not find him alive. “Well,” continued Dan, “we went in, and we went to the kennel,” and Dan’s face grew redder and redder. “We went to the kennel, and there was the dog —ha ! ha ! ha !—there was the dog —ho ! ho! ho !—with a-tche—tche with a-hi! hi! hi! with a great wire muzzle on his j-jaws!” and then followed a final guffaw, long, loud, and sonorous. “Poor Dash ! ” continued Dan, recovering his breath—“how worse than Tantalus’s had been thy lot. No sooner had I released his masticators than he fell to eating like a famished wolf ; and cousin Joe said he remembered now directing his man to procure the muzzle —but the servant had been discharged the next day for some offence, and the circumstance had quite escaped his mem ory.” — Literary World. From the National Intelligencer. ORIGINAL NOTES BY FRANKLIN. Among the more curious and interesting books in the Congressional Library, is one entitled “ Reflections , Moral and Political , on Great Britain and her Colonics ,” published in London in 1770.’ The work in question Was originally presented to Thomas Jefferson by Benjamin Franklin, and contains numerous marginal notes from the pen of the distinguished philosopher. As there is a positive value in every thought emanating from his mind, and as the notes alluded to have never been published, we have transcribed them for the grati fication of our readers. To make them ineligi ble it will be necessary to quote the several para graphs to which they allude ; but further than this we shall not venture, only making it a point to’quote each passage in regular succession. Be ginning, then, with the preface, we proceed as follows: Booh . The good of the whole British Empire is what he (the author) aims at. Franklin . This is the true political idea that every writer should have in view. Most of them tkink only of the good of apart of Britain. Book . By considering the members of the House of Commons as Senators of the public, we may conceive them (says the author in his pre face) to be in a oertain degree the representatives and guardians of all British commoners whereso ever dispersed. It is to be hoped indeed that, some time or other, a better mode of election may be established to make the representation more equal. Franklin. In what degree ? Who are British commoners? Are the American colonies such? Why don’t you set about it? Book. We are not in general sensible of the benefits we derive from society; but by reflection we may safely conceive the happiness we enjoy beyond what is attainable by solitary savages. Franklin . The difference is not so great as may be imagined. Happiness is more generally and equally diffused among savages than in our civilized societies. who has ever tasted savage life can afterwards bear to hve in our societies. The care and labour of providing for artificial and fashionable wants, the sight ol so many rich wallowing in superfluous plenty, whereby so many are kept poor, distressed by want; the insolence of office, the snares and plagues of law, the restraints of custom, all con tribute to disgust them with w hat we call civil so ciety. . , Book. This Parliament and Ministry -have been vilified by all means possible, because they have supported the prc-cminency of Great Britain over her colonies, and oblige them to contribute to the public expense, which lies at present on Great Britain. Franklin. A vague word (pre-eminency.) Why should you oblige those that never were un willing? Only return to the ancient method ol requisition and you would have their contribu tions as usual. Book. The colonies do not approve of this, and threatens us with the loss of trade if their extravagant and unjust demands of exemption from Parliament taxation are not complied w r ith. Franklin. This author decides before he ex amines. Book. The colonies by their emmissaries keep their apprehensions alive, and by applying the words of ancient laws to their own case, have made many believe that the Americans have been unjustly treated. Franklin. What ancient Laws? Probably Mag na Charta, the Bill of Rights, Petition of Rights, See. Book. The colonists and traders cannot expect to carry tfuir point whilst this Parliament subsists. Franklin. The author supposes the colonists wants anew Parliament in order to have the du ties taken off! He is mistaken. They did peti tion ; they were not heard , and they will petition no more. Keep up your duties if you please ; they will not pay them because they will not use the commodities. And because they think you use them ill in laying such duties they will manu facture for themselves. They now find they gain, and save infinitely more by your continuing the duties than they r should by y r our repealing them. Book. The Irish are British subjects. Franklin. It is not in Ireland. The Irish are Irish subjects. The superior power in Ireland is the King and their Parliament. O Book. British Empire. Franklin. This is a vague expression. Wri ters like the above confound themselves and their readers with the idea that the British Empire is but one State ; not considering or knowing that it consists of many States under one sovereign. Book. According to their notion, Great Britain may provide and protect establishments of her subjects in foreign parts for the advantage of said subjects personalty, but cannot make any foreign settlement for her own advantage. Franklin. She may if she thinks fit. But she is not to apply to her ow n use, unjustly’, foreign settlements made by others. Book. Few can afford to give their children a liberal education. Franklin. How ignorant this writer is. There are no less than eight universities in the northern colonies, viz. Cambridge, New England; Rhode Island, do ; New Haven, do. ; New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Williamsburg (Va.) and Georgia. Book. Among them (Americans) learning and politeness of manners must not be expected. Franklin. As learned and polite, and more so, than in any part of Britain, for their numbers. Book. The character of a gentleman is rarely to be met with in these provinces. Franklin. No gentleman that knows the coun try would say this. Book. It is the terror of the European strength that keeps the slaves from rising. Frunklin. The poor creatures know no more of such strength than of a strength in the moon. Book. The inhabitants of Nova Scotia and Florida could hardly attend their parliament, which we will suppose assembled in some cen tral place. * Franklin. Very easity. ’Tis but a week’s voy’age from the extremities to the central colo nies. Book. Their division into provinces at present make every colony a little State of itself. Franklin. There you hit, and they will ahvays (probably) continue so. Book . It is true, a time in all likelihood will come w’hen the colonies of North America will exceed Great Britain in strength. Franklin . Then don’t make enemies of them if you are wise. Book. The national debt. Franklin. The writer seems to imagine the colonies concerned in the national debt. A no tion quite new. Book. If this behavior arises in consequence of their charters, it seems high time to amend or annul them. Franklin. Meddle with them at your peril. No alteration can be made in these but by con sent of both parties—the King and the Colonists. By violating them you break the link that holds those two parties together. Book. It is the essential quality” of a province to depend on that State which formed and sup ported it. * Franklin. The*British State had no share in forming and supporting the colonies, except Geo gia and Nova Scotia; and New England had great share in the latter. Book. Wiere cannot be two equal legislature in any Stale. Franklin. But there may in different The corporation of Great Britain are within t} ]f> realm, and therefore within the jurisdiction 0 f Parliament. The colonies are with'out the realm • therefore not. SMOKING. The following observations on the use of to. bacco are from a recent temperance tract : “ Dost thou smoke Bill ? ” said a tall, l ean sickly-looking youth, to a fine, robust, healthy looking lad the other day, as they passed me j n the street ; while at the same time a cloud of to bacco smoke came directly in my face, which made me wish heartily that he did not smoke. J need not say how glad I was to hear the rosy looking lad say, “No I don’t.” Just as this con versation took place, too dashing young men passed me, smoking cigars, the one about seven teen, the other about eighteen years of age.— Turning my footsteps homeward, I could not help pondering on this almost universal practice of smoking, pursued alike by old and young, and ever and anon some of the faces of my neighbors and acquaintances would piesent themselves to my recollection, and never was I more surprised to find, on reflection, how closely were linked to gether great smokers and poverty, great smokers and pallid looks, great smokers and want of otann liness. I took down my cyclopedia, and looked for the word “ tobacco.” “ Tobacco,” says the compiler of the book, “ contains an oil of a poisonous quality, which is used in some countries to destroy snakes, by put ting a. little on the tongue ; on receiving it the snake is seized with convulsions, coils itself up, and dies; and what is very singular, becomes al most as stiff and as hard as if it were dried in the sun.” “ I have been,” Says a very eminent medical writer, “ now tw r enty-three years in ex tensive practice, and I never observed so many pallid faces and so many marks of declining health, nor have ever known so many hectical habits and consumptive affections as of late years; and I trace this alarming inroad on voung consti tutions principally to the pernicious system of smoking cigars. I am entirety convinced that smoking and chewing tobacco injure ultimately the hearing, smell, taste, and teeth. The prac tice of smoking is productive of indoleuce; it opens the pores of the head, throat, neck, and chest, and then going out into the cold, yrnur pores are suddenly closed. Hence arise disorders of the bead, throat, and lungs.” Mr. Curtis, in Ins observations on health, say r s, “ The extensive use of tobacco, in whatever shape it is taken, heats the blood, hurts digestion, wastes the fluids, and relaxes the nerves. A patient of mine, who used to boast of the number of cigars be could smoke in a day, produced ptyalism, or salivation by his folly ; and, bad he not abandoned the practice, he would have lived but a very short time.”— Snuff is highly injurious to apoplectic persons, and those laboring under deafness and other diseases of the head, to the consumptive, ad<l to those af flicted with internal ulcers.— Golden Rule. BEAUTY OF AMERICAN WOMAN. Them are two points in which it is seldom equalled, never excelled —the classic chasteness and delicacy of the features, and the smallness and exquisite symmetry of the extremities. In the latter respect, particularly, the American la dies are singularly fortunate. I have seldom seen one, delicately brought up, who had not a fine hand. The feet are also generally very small, and exquisitely moulded, particularly those of a Maryland girl; who, well aware of their at tractiveness, has a thousand coquettish ways of her own, often temptingly exhibitingthem. That in which the American women are most deficient is round ness of figure. But it is a mistake to suppose that well-rounded forms are not to be found in America. Whilst this is the character istic of English beauty 7 , it is not so prominent a feature in America. In New England, in the mountain districts of Pennsylvania and Mary land, and the central valley’ of Virginia, the fe male form is, generally speaking, as well rounded and developed as it is here ; whilst a New Eng land complexion is, in nine cases out of ten, a match for an English one. This however, can not be said of the American ladies as a class. They are, in the majority r of cases over delicate and languid ; a defect chiefly superinduced by their want of exercise. An English girl will go through as much exercise in a forenoon, without dreaming of fatigue, as an American will in a day, and be overcome by the exertion. It is also true, that American is more evanescent than English beauty, particularly in the south, where it seems to fade ere it has well bloomed. But it is much more lasting in the north and north-east; a remark which will apply to the whole region north of the Potomac and east of the Lakes ; and I have known instances of Philadelphia beauty as lovely and enduring as any that our own hardy 7 climate can produce. — Mackay's Travels . Rail Road across the Isthmus of Panama . —This great national work is progressing slowly. Ihe laborers engaged are utterly faithless, and little can be accomplished.