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to literature, Science, anb ‘Art, t!)e Sons of (temperance, obi> Tcltoiuoljip, iltasonrn, aito (General Jntflliqniee. VOLUME I. JVf I ifill £ A H T a TVICTIM OF A PROOF-READER.” fhc following, though of rather ancient date, is .rood remain stored away among the musty re -1 inf’ of things that were. It tickled us some —it and we cannot deny our readers a parlicipa ! in the little of spice which we occasionally fer ” ‘ ,l * al f r() rri the musty records aforesaid. These literally the days of prosy writings, and a ’ us with the refreshing influence of the “ dews ! rinoti.” The author is reading a “ business ” p tt - r from the “ victim,” when that individual in person enters. 1 Ah ! ’ said he, ‘reading my scroll, I see.— r- nv circumstance. But never mind. You make I“ * some time for the Knickerbocker, don’t a [)t kind o’ pieces that come out of your [ borrow that there periodical sometimes, fa friend, and I seen a piece thereabout a man !![]o was the‘Victim of a Proof-Reader.’ lam •> of that class. Two years ago I was in love, f w;is jilted. Hang details; the upshot is the i M thin". Well, I had tried the young lady, i;i l found her wanting; and I thought 1 would ; lie a line of Scripture unto her, as amoltofoi some bitter and reproachful verses.’ So, holding a manuscript in one hand high up, and placing ihe other arm a-ldmbo, he read as follows: 4 TO ONE FOUND WANTING. i]\{cne, mene, tekel upliarsin!' —Scripture. ‘Thou art no more, what once I knew Thv heart and guileless tongue to be ; Thou art no longer pure and true, Nor fond, to one who knelt to thee ; Who knelt, and deemed thee all his own, Nor knew a dearer wish beside; Who made his trembling passion known And looked to own thee for a bride. What is the vow that once 1 heard Fruni those bahn-brenthing lips of thine? Broken, ah ! broken, word by word, E'en while l worshiped at thy shrine! Broken by thee, to whom 1 bowed, As bends the wind-flower to the breeze, As bent the Chaldean, through the cloud, To Orion and the Pleiades. Rut thou art lost! and I no more Must drink thy undeceiving glance: Our thousand fondling spells are o’er — Our raptured moments in the dance. Vanished like dew drops from the spray, Are moments which in beauty flew ; I cast life’s brightest pearl away, And false one ! breathe my lust adieu ! ’ “Here lie stopped —his grey eyes rolling in a wild frenzy —and drew a newspaper from his breeches pocket. ‘ Sir,’ said he, striking an atti tude, ‘I sent them verses for to be printed into the ‘Literary Steamboat and General Western Alii •tatf.r.’ It is a paper, Sir, with immense circula tion. A column in it to be read by the boatmen and raftsmen of the west, is immortality. I say nothing. Just see how my infusion was butch ered. /can’t read it.’ “I took the paper, a little yellow folio, and read thus : ‘ TO ORE FOUND WASHING. 4 Merc, mere , treacle , O'Sartin ! ’---Sculpture. •Thou hast no means, at once to slew Thy blasts, Sind girdless tongues to tree ; Thou hast no i’argent, pure and true, Nor feed, for one who knelt to thee : Who knelt, and dreamed thy all his own, Nor knew a dearer wish betidle, Who maid his tumbling parsnips known, And looked to arm thee for a bridle ! 4 What is the row ? what once 1 heard From those brow-beating limps ot thine ? Brokers! oh, brokers ! one by one, E’en while I worshipped at thy shine ! Broker by three! to whom 1 lowed, As lends the wind-flaw to the tries ; As bust the chaldron thro’ the clod, Tu Onions, and the fleas as dies ! ‘But thou art lost! and I no more Mus dirk thy undeceaving glance ; One thous friendly squills are o’er. Our ruptured moments in the dance ! Vanished like dew-drops from the sprag, Are moments which in business flew ! hte's brightest peal a-wag, -Wd fuhe one, break my bust —adieu ! On breaking into a loud laugh at theuttei stu pidity of this tvpical metamorphis, I found that the stranger gr“e W red in the face. He snatched ! hc P a per from my hand, and disappeared, ma kln o his bow as he retired.” — Knickerbocker . A young widow who is editing a paper in a e |f u^ (,r ‘ n § Slate says : . ’ Ue don’t look quite so well to-day as usual, account ot the non-arrival of the nudes. There is a man in Philadelphia, so says an ex- s L an ? e paper, that is so sharp-minded that he jM Ve ? himself by a mere mental operation.- <forn S rc yther ahead of the travelling Rat From Wheeler’s Magazine. THE FIRST MESMERISER : OR, WHY SQUIRE JUNES LOST HIS SEAT IN THE CHURCH. A Georgia Scene. One bright morning in the latter part of IS—, ike usual quiet of the little village of A was disturbed by the appearance of a dashing bturgy, drawn by two horses ala tandem. The showy equipage, dashing round the corner, drew up in style before the tavern door. Now as all travel ers who stopped at the tavern were compelled to turn this coninr, it was the grand rendezvous of all the village gossips and idlers. Here they col lected to crack their jokes at the expense of each other, and the wayfarers who came into the vil lage. Another attraction was afforded in the form of a little groggery. The place had a couple of doors facing the street, over each of which hung a large red sign, whereon was painted, in large gold letters, the imposing appellation of “ The Rialto .” The vehicle had no sooner turned the corner of “ The Rialto” than the crowd which usually hung about that place rushed to the corner, and strained their eyes to catch a glimpse of the objects of their curiosity. They watched till the baggage was taken out, when they returned to their seats and began to exchange their opin ions as to the intentions, business, and destination of the travelers. Nothing, however, was deter mined upon until one asked the ’squire what he thought about it. “ Why, gentlemen,” said lie, “ I know my ’pinion aint much, because I’m a plain, onlettered man, but 1 thinks that fellow is some town dandy and his ootnan gwine to the springs.” The ’squire’s opinion was law with the crowd, and everybody felt satisfied that the ’squire was right. ’Squire Jones was deacon of the Baptist Church, Justice of the Peace, and oracle of the village. He had risen to the first of these stations by means of a long face, and the proper appear ance of his visible life. The last two he had gained through the medium of “ The Rialto.” — His manner of electioneering was similar to that practised at the present day. A few drinks were given away and the donee was his lasting friend. The ’squire was very severe upon the vices of the age, and especially reprobated swearing.— The nearest which he had ever been known to approach to swearing, was in the use of his favo rite and only oath, “ Dang my buttons .” Why it was that he always swore by his buttons no one ever knew. The ’squire was a conceited little man —short, fat and round. He was very cross before dinner; those persons who were at litigation within the limits of his jurisdiction never brought their cases up until alter that meal. He never failed to annex the “J. P.” to his name, and always accompanied it by an ominous flour ish, which of ilself would have disclosed the fact which he was so anxious to have known. Such was’squire Jones. Every village has one such. Curiosity was now at its pitch, and the loafers had passed and repassed a dozen times before the tavern door, in the hope ol getting a better view of the town dandy. At last he came out and walked directly up to the corner. Entering “ The Rialto,” ~he took a drink, and then pasted upon a large China tree just opposite the dooi, the following bill : O • ’ TPS PS SS ?T& SS SS SS SSSS SS SS IT6 SSSS T3 SS SSSS SSSS^ [y MESME RISM ! sj g I)R* BRIGHAM. § jS (The celebrated Mesmeric Operator,) and 3 £ Lady have the honor to announce to the 3 £ CITIZENS OF A***** oj that they will give a lecture on Mesmerism at 3 | the ic.ie.ny. This Evening, at 7 o’clock. | £ Price 50 cents—children, half-price. g September 28, 18— [Scrogs, Ir. ZS. 5L2.2J2.5L2. Zfi. QJ2. SJi S-& %SL SLS. SJIPJL SSL 12JL8.SSL ZJI.9JLS The Dr. had no sooner lett the uee than it was surrounded by a perfect host of men and boys, all anxious to know what sort of show it was. The ’squire read the bill at least a dozen times, anti had it not been for his explanation of it, but few would have known, until they saw for them selves, what mesmerism was. “Dod drot it if 1 know what mesmerism is, said a tall, strapping fellow who bore the cogno men of Ned Mann, “ tell its what it is squire. Jl anybody knows you does.” .. Oh yes ! ” said half a dozen voices, tell us, ’squire. The ’squire’s iny man 1 ” “Isit a suc eus ’squire V ” and many other such inquiries came in from all sides. . . The ’squire, who was elevated upon a pine box, ihus cave his “ private ’ pinion ’ to the crowd : “My private ’pinion is,” said he, “ that mes merism is a Zoological Far nolo gy Lectur . I hat s my ’pinion, gentleman. And dang my buttons it 1 ” “So am I? I,’’ “and If’ cried a dozen voices. “ Hurrah, boys, for the Zoological Fai n ology Lectur,” and the hats llew up into the an like dust in a windy day. SAVANNAH, GA.. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1819. “ The Rialto man ” was busy all day in chang ing bills into halfs and quarters, and that night Dr. B. beheld a large, it not, intelligent audience. The Lecture being over, Mrs. Brigham took her seat, and the Dr. immediately commenced opera tions. In about two minutes the lady r dropped backed into her chair, and was apparently fast asleep. The passes were then made, and the Dr. rose and requested some gentleman of well known respectability to come forward and see that all things were done fairly. All eyes were turned upon the ’squire, and he took his seat upon a bench near by, where, to use liis own language, lie could “ see the motions.” Dr. B.then handed the ’squire a pin, and requested him to plunge it into Mrs. B.’ s arm. He complied, but no signs of pain whatever were exhibited. Those who had doubted the truth of the Dr.’s statements, in his lecture, (the ’squire with the rest,) now began to yield. The next experiment was made upon the operator, and the audience perceived that when the ’squire stuck the pin into the Dr. he made some remark as to its hurting, and the lady jumped ! “ The reason of this singulir phenomenon,” said the Dr., “is because a constant stream of electricity is running from'me to Mrs. 8., upon which the pain glides.” A number of other experiments were tried, which had the effect of making the good people open their eyes and mouths wider than they had ever been stretched before. But when the Dr. commenced making his experiments in the de partment of the will there was no end to their as tonishment. “ The first thing,” said he, which I will Mrs. B. to do, is to blow oat the candle which l hold in my hand.” Standing off* behind his wife, the Dr. looked at her with all the force of his eyes, and presently she rose, and, advancing to her husband, blew out the candle as lie had willed. A murmur of applause went round-—ihe ’squire swore by his buttons that he didn’t know how that was done, and the whole crowd began to be anx ious about their safety. They feared a man who had so much power. Dr. B. then took the watch of a gentleman, and, holding it up before the au dience, said : “Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand a silver watch, with three hands and a silk chain.— I will my wife to describe it.” Mrs. B. complied, and the crowd were now in ecstacies. But ’squire Jones, who saw how things were now working, was not so much as tonished. The first hint which he had of decep tion, was an inclination of the lady to laugh, which she only prevented by compressing her lips tightly together ; and even then'she could not pre vent an occasional smile from escaping her. The ’squire was ambitious to be mesmerised. He knew that if he succeeded, it would increase his importance tenfold. As soon, therefore, as Mrs. B. was roused, he went up to the Dr. and re quested his ycer for a few moments. He then proposed to be mesmerised. “ 1 see how the thing is worked,” said he, “ ’twill be a good joke to carry out the deception a little further.” The Dr. saw that it was useless to deny any thing. They returned to the stand, and Dr. Brig ham 0 announced that he would now proceed to mesmerize ’squire Jones. This proceeding, however, was strenuously opposed by the “ old lady Jones ” and her daugh ters. “You ’squire Jones,” said the old lady, “ lou ’squire Jones, you’d better not!” and she shook her finger menacingly at him—“l tell you, you'd better not ! ” “ Why, Betsey, honey,” said the ’squire, “ you need n’t beafeard. No harm can’t come of it. — Who’s afeard ? ” “ Are you crazy, ’squire Janes? ” she returned, “or what upon vearlh do you mean ? \ou’d look nice gwine up to be mesmerised, wouldn t ye ? You’d better be at home a savin’ of yer prayers, an’ I wouldn’t be s’prised if } T ou got turned out of the church by it yet. If you goes up, ’squire Jones, and gits to sleep and doesn't never wake up no more , don't you blame me for it ! ” In spite of opposition up went the squire, and in a few moments he was fast asleep. The same experiments were tried on him with the same success, and only one more remained. It was the experiment with the pin. Ned Mann acted as inspector of affairs , and to him the operator now handed the pin. He approached the sleeping ’squire with cau tion. Then drawing back his arm, with force sufficient to have stunned an ox, he drove the in strument up to the head in the calf of the squire sleg The .effect was electrical. Up jumped the ’squire perpendicularly, to the height ot about three feet, and he alighted a sitting posture upon the bench where sat. his wife and grds. Over went the bench, and with it the old fody and all. “Oh Lordv,”said the old lady, “I’m kilt I’m kilt! ! It were useless to attempt a description of the melee which ensued. Above all was heard the yell of ’squire Jones, as he exclaimed : “ Ouch ! that hurt, d—n you ! You tainal fool, you mought a-knowed I wasn’t asleep good ! I was jest waking up when you stuck me. Dang my buttons if I ain’t a good mind to walk right into vou.” “ Hurrah for the ’squire ! ” cried the voice of a dozen, while “ Go it ole boss ! ” “ At him Blaze!” Help up the old lady ! ” “ Where’s the gals ? ” “ Go it, squire ! ” “Down with Zoology ! ” was heard all over the room. Order was at last restored, and Dr. B. begged ten thousand pardons—the ’squire was soon paci fied. He was aware that he had let slip a word not very consistent in a deacon of a church, yet he flattered himself that none had heard him.— But he was mistaken. A jealous brother deacon heard and noted down the word, and, also, the testimony of a half dozen others. The “ Zoo logical Farnology Leclur” then closed, and all went home well satisfied with the eveninsps en tertainment. The next day the Dr. and his lady left the village. But the matter did not end here. On the fol lowing Sunday, the ’squire, the old lady, and the gals, made their appearance at church as usual.—• Alter the service was Qver, a conference was held to judge of the ’squire’s conduct. The evidence was so conclusive that he threw himself upon the “ mercy of the court.” He was sentenced to six months suspension, and he returned home a crestfallen man. “ I told vou so ! ” said old Mrs.’ Jones. “ I %/ said you’d get turned out for it, and what l said is jes so ! ” “Dang my .buttons ! ” said the old man, “I guess I’ll never go to another 4 Zoological Fa mol ogij Lectur’ If 1 do, dang my buttons ! ” Virtues of Milk. —lt is a most perfect diet. Nothing is wanting to it —it contains curd or case in, which is necessary for the development and formation of muscle—butter for the production of an adequate supply of fat—sugar to feed the respiration, and thereby add warmth to the body —the phesphates of lime and magnesia, the pe roxide of iron, the cholorides of potassium and soda, with the free soda required to give solidity and strength to the bones—together with the sa line particles so essentially necessary for other parts of the body. It also contains lactic acid, or the acid of milk, which chemists inform us is the true acid of the gastric juice so requisite for the proper dissolving and assimilating our food in the stomach. It is therefore obvious that milk should be chemically correct in all its constitu ents, and that its beneficial ejects on the consti tution should not be neutralised by adulteration ; it is, as Dr. Front properly states, “ the true type of all food.” How necessary therefore is it that it should be pure; otherwise this wonderful and wise provision of Providence will be a curse rather than a blessing.— llugg's Observation on Milk. Chinese Pirates. —Piracy is carried on to a great and alarming extent in the China seas. The pirate vessels and boats are peculiarly construc ted, being remarkably fast ; the crews are nu merous, and the vessels are fully armed with guns, swivels, matchlocks, spears, boarding-pikes, and other weapons of an offensive description. Their usual mode of proceeding is as follows : As soon as they get within reach of their victims, they throw on board the doomed vessel a large quan tity of fire-balls ; so prepared as to produce an intolerable and most offensive odor when explo sion takes place ; missiles of all kinds are then scattered around. When the terror and confu sion thus created is at its height, the pirates grap ple and board the prize, when, if resistance is of fered, too frequently all on board are butchered in a savage manner. Pirates infest the seas between Hong Kong, Meccao and Canton, inhabiting the Ladrone island surrounding Hong Kong, which seem to be abandoned to their sovereignty; and the passage between these forts is thus rendered extremely hazardous, both as regards life and property. — China and the Chinese . A. Sailor's description of Hunting. —Going to see my father the other day, he ax’d me to take a voyage a hunting with him. So when the Swab ber had rigged the horses, they brought me one to stow myself on board of—one that they told me was in such right trim, she would go fast on any tack as a Faulksome cutter. So 1 got aloft, and clapped myself athwart ship; and made as much as the best of on ’em—and to the wind ward of a gravel pit, we espied a hare at anchor ; and so we weighed and bore away, and just as I had overtaken her, my horse came plump a>h>re upon a rock —the back stay broke —she pitched me over the forecastle, came keel upwards, and unshipped my shoulder, and hang me it 1 e\er sail on land, privateering again. KUMBER 37