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fii rani ®f Tin mu
VOLUME 11.
j according to Act of Congress, in the year 1850
in the Southern District of Georgia. J
MA jOK JONES’ COURTSHIP,
OR
of a Clirislmas-Eve:
A domestic COMEDY,
IjY two acts.
By Major Joseph Jones.
r )[r. Crotchett and Dr . Jones .
Crotchctt and Dr. J. —Good even
ing l a^es *
Man-'- Ah, Mr. Crotchett, we
ere so ’fraid you were not coming.
p r>j I expected you.
Crotchctt . —I could not deny my
self the extweme pleasure.
Dr. J. —Nor I, especially on such
a n occasion.
)[am- —Allow me to introduce
vou to the Young ladies. (Crotchett
dthc Dr. retire up and how to the
pany as they arc introduced.)
Enter Major Jones.
Major. ( Aside ) —There’s that
oominable Crotchett agin. Ding’d
1 don’t blieve he’s that barber
what Bill Simpson’s lookin after,
(approaching the company ,) Good
evening to you all. (Shakes hands
triifi Mary.) Good evening Miss
Marv. (Shakes hands with each of
the girl*.
Tin Ladies. —Good evening Ma
jor.
Dr J. —Ah, Major; ha, ha, old
fellow, I’m glad to see you alive
vet. How are y T our symptoms this
evening ?
Major. —Much better, I thank
you.
Crotchctt. —Aw, Majavv Jones,
I'm very happy to see you. (Aside.)
I was in hopes the hardshell lobster
had hung bimselt.
Inter Bob Moreland with two or three
gentlemen who pass up and mingle
with the company.
Dr. J.—Well, ladies, what say
you to a dance.
Crotchctt. —1 second the Doctaw’s
motion for a cotillion.
All— Yes, let’s have a dance !
Take partners for a dance.
Crotchett. (approaching Mary.) —
Shall I have the honaw, Miss Mawy,
of dancing the first set with you?
)krij bows assent —Crotchctt leads
hr to the floor.)
Major. (Aside.)— Five feet, six
inches, light hair, grey eyes, and
imperent as the devil. He’s the
very feller! I’ve a great mind not
to let him dance with Miss Mary.
(odmeing to Caroline,) Carry will
you be my partner.
Caroline. —With great pleasure.
‘Dr. Jones leads Miss Kcsiah to the
floor, Crotchett talks aside with Mary
uhilc the other characters take their
places. Country dance. After the
fence Crotchett engages Mary in
toni'er sation.)
Dr. J. —Now for a cotillion, what
sa y you, ladies?
Caroline. —No, no, mother con-
for only one dance.
Dr. J. —Oh, she won’t object to
OQe more.
hsiah. —Yes she will, Dr. She
“ ari t like dancing of late at all.
Dr. j t —Pshaw ! That’s the way
people when they get too old to
* ance themselves.
I company talk together , while
. Crotchett and Mary come to the
fmt.
—Then I have your con-
to fly with me, dearest girl.
Mary. Yes. (Aside.) I’ll fix the
• Gumptious coxcomb.
Crotchett.—At what hour shall I
■spect you ?
Mary. —At four o’clock ; in the
,we at the end of the lane.
Crotchett. —I am the happiest man
I will excuse myself to the
make the necessary ar
f ‘ ari J&aeiits, an J wait for you at the
a PPoinied place. (They retire up
join tht company.)
Depute tn Citmitnrt, Hum unit Art, % Inns nf Ctntjirntm, m /rllnnisjiiji, 3\\mnn\ anil o?rnrral Sntrllinriirr.
Enter servant with cakes and coffee.
Mary . — (Aside.) Take some re
freshments, girls. Mother is a
Washingtonian you perceive, and
gives us coffee instead of wine.
Major. —l’ll bet my life that feller
Crotchett’s the runaway barber. He
answers the description exactly.
I’ll not say nothing to give him the
alarm ; but I’ll jest send word to
Bill Simpson.
Dr. J. —Coffee’s a great deal the
best for the system.
Crotchett. —Aw, yes, I’m an out
and out Washingtonian myself.
As negro Ned passes with coffee, Ihc
Major beckons him aside.
Major. — N e and.
Ned. —Sar.
Maj or. —Take a horse and go to •
town as fast as you can, and tell
Bill Simpson that that barber man
from New York, what he wants to
find, is at your misses’ house.
Ned. —De which, massa Joe.
Major. —The Barber from New
York. Tell him I sent you. Go j
quick.
Ned. —Yes, massa Joe. (To him
self as he goes off.) Ki! wonder what
for mas Bill Simpson want to git
shave dis time o’night.
Major. (Aside.) Light hair, grey
eyes, I’ll be dad fetch’d if it aint
him !
Dr. J. —Well, girls, what next?
Crotchett. —Let’s play some game.
All. —Oh, yes! let’s play some
thing.
Dr. J. —Well, what shall it be.
Mary. —Oh, anything. Pawns—
hunt the slipper —or anything else.
Dr. J. —Oh, they’re all old. Let’s
play something new. I’ll tell you ;
let’s play “Brother I’m Bobbed.”
All. (Laughing.) —What’s that.
Dr. J. —Why, Brother I’m Bob
bed.
Major. —How Bobbed.
Dr. J. —Never mind, you’ll see.
But you must help me, Joe.
Mary. —Well, the name’s funny
enough. Let’s play it, you’ll all
play, wont you, girls.
All. — Oh, yes, we’ll play.
Dr. J. —Y"es, ladies, you must all
play. Crotchett you’ll join us ? It’s
fun alive.
Crotchett. —I must beg to be ex
cused, Doctaw. It has just occur
red to me that I have some urgent
business that must be attended to
to-night. Ladies you will excuse
me if you please, I must tear my
self from you for the present, adieu!
adieu ! Miss Mawy, till I see you
again.
All. —Good evening, Mr. Crotch
ett.
Mary. —(glancing at the Major.)
Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Crotchett has
gone.
Major. (Aside.) —So am I. I hope
he wont go far till Bill Simpson gits
his eyes on him.
Dr.J. —Well,never mind. There’s
enough to play Brother Bob, with
out him. Come, Joe, you and I
must be blindfolded to begin.
Major . —No, stop. I dont like
this dark business. (All laugh.)
Dr. J. —lt’s rather dangerous to
let you loose in the dark, that’s a
fact!
Mary. —Never mind Joseph, .I’ll
take care you don’t upset any more
tables, nor break any more spinning
wheels. (All laugh.)
Major. —Don’t mention that, Miss
Mary.
Caroline. —Nor get into any more
bed-rooms. (All laugh)
Major. —Dont! dont! Miss Carry,
dont.
Dr.J.— Well, come, now for Broth
er Bob. (Places two chairs with their
backs together.) [Now, Joe, you and I
must be blindfolded, and take our
seats in these chairs. Then the rest
must all go round us, and every now
SAVANNAH, GA. # SATURDAY, APRIL 13, 1850.
and then hit us on the head with
something. When I’m hit, I’ll say
“Brother, I’m Bobbed!” When
you must ask, “Who Bobbed you ?”
and if I guess the right one, then
that one must take my place, and
be bobbed till he guesses who hit
him. You must do the same way.
Now you all know how it’s played.
Major . —Yes, I understand. But
what are you gwine to hit with ?
Dr.J. —Oh, anything. Miss Car
oline, get an old book or anything
that wont hurt much.
(Carolinegoes off and returns with a
large book.
Caroline. —Here’s an old Web
ster’s dictionary. Will that do ?
Dr. J.—(Tyeing a handkerchief
over his eyes.) Just the thing.—
Come Joe, get ready. (The girls
tie a handkerchief over the Major's
eyes.) Honor bright now, Joe.—
Girls lie him good.
Major. —Thar, thar ! that’s dark
as the mischief.
Dr. J. —You’re sure you could’nt
tell a bed room from all out of
doors, now, Joe ? (All laugh.)
Major. —Oh, quit about that!
Dr. J. —-Well, now, take your
seat. Now girls, you musn’t hit me
hard, or if 3*oll do when it comes
my turn you’ll catch scissors.
The Major sits down in one of the
chairs. The Doctor slips the band
age from his eyes , and turns his
chair facing the Major's back . —
The company pass round them , laugh
ing. The Doctor hits the Major
a blow on the head with the book.
Major.—(Starting.) —Brother I’m
bobbed !
Dr. J. —Who bobbed you ?
Major. —Bob Moreland.
All. —No, no. Guess again !
The company pass round the chairs as
before. The Doctor strikes hi? knee.
J)r. J. —Brother I’m bobbed !
Major. —Who bobbed you ?
Dr. J. —Miss Caroline.
All. —No, no! Y r ou missed it
that time.
They pass round as before, the Major
flinching in expectation oj the blow.
The Doctor hits him harder than be
fore.
Major. —Whew ! Brother I’m
bobbed !
J)r. J. —Who bobbed you ?
Major. —Bill Wilson.
All. —No, no ! You’re wrong a
gain. (as they arc passing round.)
Major. —This is like the boys and
the frogs in the spelling book. It
may be lun for you all, but 111 be
dad fetched if its any lun to me.
But its Pete’s turn this time.
The company pass round again as be
fore, except Mary, who stands aside ,
evidently displeased. The Major
dodges as before. The Doctor hits
him a blow that nearly knocks him
out of his scat.
Mary. (Aside..)— Peter Jones is
a little too smart!
Major . (Recovering himself.)
Thunder and lightning, but that
was a lick ? Brother I’m bobbed !
Dr.J.— Who bobbed you ?
Major. —Well, I reckon it was a
jackass kicked me.
Mary. (Aside.)— A. pretty good
guess.
All. —No, no ! Y’ou’re wrong a
gain.
Dr.J. Try again, Joe.
Mary. (Aside.)— That’s too bad.
(Steps up to the Major and remove
the bandagefrom his eyes.) Let’s play
something else.
All.— Yes, let’s play something
else.
The company pass up the stage, dis
cussing what the play shall be.
Caroline. —Let’s play “ Blind
man’s Buff.”
Kcsiah. —Or “Button button,
who’s got the button ! ”
Dr. J.—l’ll bet Joe won’t play 1
“Brother Bob” agiin in a hurry.
Bob Mot eland. —And he had
enough of blind-man’s buff’ tother
night to last him for a while.
Major, (approaching Mary first ) —
My head sings like a tea-kettle yet.
(pressing his hands upon it.) Miss
Mary, who did hit me them allired
licks ?
Mary. —Why Joseph, would you
believe it !—that good for nothing
conceited fellow, Peter Jones, did it
all. He just took the handkerchief
oft his eyes when you sat down,
and turned his chair right round to
you, and hit you every blow him
self.
Major. —And ho—
Mary. —Just hit himself on the
knee now and then, to make you be
lieve that he was bobbed.
Major. —He sarved me that-a
way ! Dad fetch his everlastin’
picter ! (Mary puts her hand on his
mouth.) I’ve jest as good a mind to
bob him as I ever had to do any
thing in my life. The bominable—
Mary. —No, no, Joseph, don’t say
a word about it, but do just as I tell
you and PH fix the gentleman for
his smartness. (Going up to the
company.) l’U tell you what to
play. Let’s play “ Introduction to
Court.” It’s an excellent play that
I learned down at Macon.
Dr J. —How do you play it ?
Mary. —I’ll tell you all about it,
Doctor, as you must assist me in it.
I know you are expert in such mat
ters. (Talks aside with Dr. J.)
Major. —l’ve got Webster’s Dic
tionary enough in my head, now.
Ding me, if I thought Pete had so
much devilment in him. But Mary
will fix the gentleman. Bless her,
if sne had’nt come and tuck the
bandage oft’ my eyes, he’d been
maulin the brains out of me till
now.
Dr.J. —Yes, I understand. Come,
let’s play “ Introduction to Court.”
Miss Mary’s the Queen, and the
Major must be King. Now let’s have
more chairs to make a throne.
( Three chairs are placed in a row, the
seats facing the audience , over which
a sheet or table cover is thrown.)
Dr. J. —Now, all but the King
and Queen and their attendants are
to withdraw to the other room until
they are regularly introduced at
Court.
(All retire except the King, Queen, and
Bob Moreland, the usher. The King
and Queen are seated on the two out
side chairs. Mary motions to the
Major to turn the m iddle one round.
They adjust the sheet as before.)
Major. —Ha, ha ! This is a great
deal better than Brother Bob.
Mary.
mustn’t laugh. (Aloud.) The Queen
is now ready to give audience to
her liege subjects.
Major. —Hem ! hem ! (Assuming
an air of mock gravity.)
Bob Moreland. —What must I do.
Mary. —Open the door, and an
nounce the first person that presents
himself.
Enter Dr Jones .
• Bob Moreland. —Dr. Peter Jones,
your Majesty.
Dr. J. enters with an air of extreme
dignity, struts before the throne, bows
to the King and kneels to the Queen,
and then attempts to seat himself in
the middle chair, just as the King
and Queen rise from their scats,
when he is precipitated on the floor.
The door being open, the whole com
pany rush in, laughing, while the
Doctor remains seated an the floor,
overwhelmed with mortification.
Major. —Ha. ha! Pete, I think
you got bobbed that time with your
eyes open! Ha! ha!
Dr.J. (Rising*) —Bobbed, where ?
Major. —Why, down thar, on the
floor, like a cooter in a duck pond.
Dr. J. —Eh, you do, do you ? I
don’t see anything to laugh at.
Mary. Well, Doctor, 1 think
you and the Major are even now.
Major. —No, Miss Mary, not till we
introduce Pete three or four times
more.
Dr. J. —No, I thank you.
Enter old Mrs. Stallings.
Mrs. S. —Well, young people, ]
hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves fine
ly tin’s evening. But I reckon it’s
a’most bed-time, aint it, gals ? Ah
Joseph, I did’nt see you ; 1 hope 3*oll
did’nt hurt yourself the other night
when the gals let the light go out.
Major.— No, mam. Only I was
very sorry to break your wheel that
a-way.
(Dr. Jones talks aside, with Mary
while the girls are preparing to go.)
Mrs. S. —Oh, no matter Joseph.
Accidents will happen sometimes;
besides the old wheel is gettingr like
m) r self—its too old to be of much
more use in this world, only to be in
every body’s way. (Goes up to the
girls.) That’s right gals wrap up
warm, for its monstrous cold, cmd
y*ou can’t be too careful of \*our
precious selves.
Major. (Aside) —If 1 was onty as
poplar with the gals as I am with
the old woman ! What on airth’s
Pete stickin so close to Miss Mary
for. He’s got over his fall mon
strous quick. (Retires up to the com
pany.)
(Dr Jones and Mary come forward.)
Dr. J. —Ma3* I depend upon you ?
Mary. —As I said—in male attire.
Be sure you dress as I told } T ou, or
all will be lost.
Dr. J —Precisely at four. Oh
dearest Mary! —
Mary. —Hush ! or you will be
tra} T us.
Dr.J. —Farewell till then. Good
evening ladies. [Exit Dr. J.
The company depart. The Major is
talking with Caroline. Mrs. S. ad
justs the ladies shawls as they go out
of the door . The Major lingers
with his hat in his hand.
Mary. (Aside.) —Poor Joe ; 1
know he loves me truly. Is there
no way to encourage him. I have it.
Maj or. —Well, good even in to
3*0 u all, Miss Mar3 r . (much] cm
banassed.)
Mary.*— Stop, Joseph, I’ve got
something for 3 r ou.
Major. —Eh, what is it,Miss Mar3 r .
Mary. —A Christmas’ present.
Major.—* Have you, Miss Mary !
Well there’s no body in this world
that I would prize a present from
so much.
Mary. (taking a doll-baby from
the mantle-piece. J~There, aint it pret
ty. Now 3*ou must take good care
of it for my sake.
Major. —To be sure I will, Miss
Mary. ( Takes it in his arms and kiss
es it.) How I would love to have
the care of her dear little babies.
( Aside.)
Mrs. S. and Kcsiah are adjusting the
furniture.
Caroline. Now, Joseph, 3 T ou
ought to give sister a Christmas pres
ent.
Mary. —Yes.
Major. —Well, I will, with all m3*
heart, if she’ll accept it.
Mrs. S. —Ah, yes ; when I was a
gal we used to hang up our stock
ings o’ Christmas nights, and get
’em heapin’ full of presents.
Caroline and Kcsiah. —Oh, mother !
to say stockings right before the
Major.
Mrs. S. —Nonsense, gals ! what’s
the harm, I’d like to know, in stock
ings. Hitty-tity! what refinement!
No wonder I cant git you to knit
none when 3 T ou’re afraid to call ’em
by ther names. Well, this is the
ageot human progress,sureenoug! *•
Come along to your beds, ?>liss
Mock Modesties. Good niirhl .Jo-
O
soph. (Exit Mrs. S. and Kesiah.)
Mary. — Well,. Joseph, will yon
really make me a Christmas pres
ent, it I’ll hang up my stocking.
Major. —Ah, Miss Mary, vour dear
little stocking wouldn’t begin lo
hold the present 1 Want {ogive you
Mary. —What is it ? (.isidt ) What
can lie be up to 1 wonder.
Major. —Never you mind ; L t
just hang up a bag big enough to
hold it and I’ll give .ou the best
present you ever bad in vocr life;
on one condition.
Many. —What are the conditions'?
Major. —Why, you must promise
me that you will keep the present 1
give you forever, as long as you live,
for better or for worse, lor rich or
for poor, when you’re sick, and
when you’re well, and that you
won’t never have no other like it.
Caroline. ( Aside ) —Webster’s
dictionary has surely brightened
his ideas.
Mary. —And you say it’s a valu
able present?
Major. —lt’s one I think a great
deal of, M iss Mary, and that I
wouldn’t give to nobody else ; but
I’d rather you’d have it than to keep
i it myself.
Mary. —Well, I’ll promise to com
ply with your conditions.
Major. —You will, Miss Mary.
Do you hear that Carry.?
Caroline. —l’m a witness to the
bargain.
Major. —Now, Miss Marv, hang
up your bag. (Aside.) I’ve got
her now!
Mary. —Where shall I hang it?
Major. —On the back porch, and
you’ll find the present in it in the
morning. (Aside) I’ve done the
business this time.
Mary. —The bag shall be there
Major. —Remember your prom
ise, Miss Mary. Good night!
Mary and Caroline. —Good night!
[Exit Major Jones.']
Caroline.— -Come, sister, it’s very
late. (Exit.)
(Concluded in out* next.)
Avery ingenious method of de
termining the velocity of light, by
actual experiment, has been con
trived by a French philosopher, M.
Fizeau. His plan may be novel to
some of our readers, and we shall
endeavor to give an idea of it. Two
telescopes are placed at the dis
tance of live miles, but so that the
image of the object glass of each is
formed in the focus of the other.—•
A glass at an angle of 45 deg. in
the first telescope sends the light of
the sun, or that of a he. p admitted
through the side of the telescope,
towards the second, where it is re
flected directly back from a mirror
placed in the focus, to be vie .ved at
the first telescope. A disk with
720 teeth Was placed m front of
the first telescope, so as to close
and admit the passage oi the tight
alternately. This disk is moved by
clockwork. It is evident that when
the ray escaping by the aperture re
turns after reflection to find a tooth
in front of the object glass, no light
will be seen. Mr. F. says, “ Under
the circumstances in which I made
the experiment, the first eclipse
took place when the disk was io
volving at the rate of about twelve
revolutions and six tenths per sec
ond. With a double velocity, the
point again shown out, was eclipsed
with a triple rapidity, reappeared
with a quadruple one, and so on.”
The result of these experiments
agrees remarkably with the velocity
assigned b} r astronomical observa
tion, being about 192 miles per sec
ond.
NUMBER (i.