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THE • FRIEND IF Til Kill.
fOLOiE 11.
(Original €air.
r S TATES rights and unions
A Story of 1835.
B V A PINEY WOODSMAN.
gill Lewis was a son of the Em-
U l>le, but fraternizing with the
frackers for a length of time, he
j resulted in a combination to
j,j c hit is next to impossible to do
..j ce , A hale, hearty, devil-may
refellow was the aforesaid Bill;
j moreover, he was no fool.—
some period, long anterior to the
eo f which I write, he had gath
;.eJ a knowledge of “ reading, wri
3(rand arithmetic,” and upon ar
i(rin “Ameriky,” the El Dorado
Hibernians, and find
„to his astonishment and chagrin
Bill was “almighty lazy,”) that
e mast still work for his daily
ead, he bethought him of some
< erne by which he might earn a
, sistence in this land of liberty
iv.'.hout taxing the thews and sin
ews of his stalwart, but indolent
rams. By some chance, or mis
chance lie got among the Crackers,
set up a school, and received his
muonm peas, corn, potatoes, and
perhaps a sufficiency of cash to pay
lo;liisgrog, which by-the-way, he
cias he did the holy virgin. In
■ way Bill lived on until the year
>5, when hearing of the contest
uch was likely to come off in the
joining county of L ,he
,ckly abandoned his school, and
oved for the* scene of action.—
w reader you are not to suppose
at Bill Lewis was actuated by pat
ic motives, far from it. He was
Seeidedly too shrewd to be gulled
m the patriotism involved in a
Huanty election. Collecting a few
■ ckens, he started in his cart on a
Birof observation, but ostensibly
Ksell the aforesaid chickens. He
Bis astute enough to discover that
Be was decidedly in demand, or
■‘her his vote was, and like a skill-
B speculator lie not only deter-
B’ed that he would go with the
bidder, but cn passant would
B®er up all bids, let them come
■a what quarter they might.—
treated like a prince. He
B-k the best, eat the best, dressed
B-a gentleman, and did not work.
B j > those were glorious times for
B 1 Lewis.
IBe managed his cards, as the
B n g is, so skillfully, that both
B-.ies were kept constantly on the
I ate and favors from both sides
B - liberally showered upon him.
0( -‘casionally happened that Bill
I 1 find himself in a crowd of
B :ll ?ans among whom chanced a
Bugler of the opposite party, and
I 1 such an occasion Bill was
B J in his huzzas for the majority,
l lie same time tipping a sly wink
i ne minority (fully intended to be
■‘ V nil present,) as much as to
[’ ‘ l nake yourself aisy darlint,
Bhooraving for them, but its yer-
I hat knows how I’ll cast my
A. course of conduct like
V tsu Led in circumstances per
■ Anomalous in the history of
L came to pass that the more
■ ioas the man’s honesty, the
■~ highly was he favored and
B e( L The election was to be
■\ v contested, and a single vote
Became ofthe first importance.
■> previous year it had been de-
B by a majority of but two, and
■‘eventful day approached, it
■tie evident to a shrewd old pol-
Bn that the time had arrived lo
i a “clincher.” Various
5 Ef lhe kernes revolved in the
E 1 °ur politician by which the
#K’ “clincher” might be
r* Wt 110 ear u P on so w ary a sub-
Lewis. It is hard tocor-
H CSa gacious electioneerer even
Dcuntflr ta £iteratmr, Irienre null M, fjit Inns nf Ctntpcrattrr, cDhh Blnsnnnj anlt Central 9ntdligntrr.
with a character like our hero, and
having settled the plan he was on
the watch to execute it. But Lewis
was an improvident fellow, and
like all such geniuses he quickly
squandered the fruits of his diplo
many or speculations, very reason
ably expecting that the critical pe
riod would screw up the opposing
candidates to most liberal donations,
and it turned up that some glorious
carouses had drained his pockets of
their last pennies just two days be
fore the election. He had been con
fided to some dozen of what are
called the “ working men,” of the
State Rights Party who being short
of funds, but not in liquor, were as
siduously plying our friend with the
latter.
Bill was in glorious spirits. No
man talked louder and longer of
the rights of sovereign States, buz
zard with more hearty good voice,
or felt larger and more important.
Precisely at this juncture our poli
tician made his appearance, and
striding into the midst of the circle
demanded peremptorily the pay
ment of certain monies of which
Bill Lewis had become the recipi
ent in the way of a loan, (for our
friend scorned the idea of receiving
money as a gift, and always gave a
note, well known to be worth only
the paper upon which it was drawn.)
For a moment Bill, with all his ef
frontery, was overwhelmed ; but
quickly recovering his faculties, he
bullied and blustered —d —d if he
couldn’t do that same,he had friends,
aye, as many as the next man.”—
“ Very well,” says our politician,
“ down with the money.” Egad !
Bill’s friends were in no better pre
dicament than himself, and with
such mortification and chagrin as
you may conceive to be felt by Bill
Lewis, he was forced to acknowl
edge his inability to meet the de
mands. Quickly changing his tac
tics the electioneerer gradually
drew Bill from the crowd, and by
an unaccountable revulsion which
sometimes changes the direction of
men’s intentions, our friend began
to feel an earnest desire for private
communications with his creditor,
and so signified.
The thing was managed so hand
somely by heaping sham curses
upon Bill’s head that his guardians
were lulled into a fatal security, and
that worthy soon made some pretext
to leave them for a moment, when a
circuitous turn through the woods
soon enabled him to intercept Mr.—
as he rode off. Some confidential
conversation ensued, the purport
and end of which was that Bill’s
indebtedness was remitted, and a
further Joan promised upon condition
that he made his appearance at a
designated locality that night. Well
Bill made his escape and upon arri
ving at the place of rendezvous —a
small country shop —our friend met
with one Jake Driggers, deligated to
receive him; but unfortunately the
aforesaid Jake found his compan
ions no sinecure, for a moment af
ter, in stepped a gentleman of the
opposite party, Mr. John Fink, and
one Mr. Robi nson —a cracker some
what in theodonrof sanctity, but
withal a renegade from the Union
party.
Now Jake Driggers was as true a
Union man and as genuine a Cracker
as ever trod Georgia soil. He per
fectly understood the manipulations
by which Robinson was to be dis
posed of, but with Mr. John Fink,
who was a man of some considera
tion, Jake was rather at a loss what
to do; and bad he not have had
just as shrewd a subject as our friend
Bill Lewis, he might have lost his
fame. Tipping Bill the wink, he
gradually touched upon political
matters, until Robinson was induced
SAVANNAH, GA., SATURDAY, JUNE \ 1850.
to offer some remark to which Jake
took exception, and answered with
a caustic observation touching the
apostacy of the worthy Robinson :
“If I was a d—d turn-coat like you
Robinson,” says Jake, “ I’d not ven
ture to open my mouth before hon
est men.” Unfortunately for Jake,
he was not reputed the most honest
citizen of the community, for certain
vague reports touching his pro
pensity to sell beef which was
not his own had been circulated ;
and although the rejoinder which
followed served his turn, it was by
no means pleasing to Jake when
Robinson replied, “No, I wouldn’t,
if I’d a sold stolen beef.”
Quick as thought Jake sprang
over the counter which intervened
between himself and his antagonist,
but quicker still that individual made
his exit and a foot race ensued.—
Bill Lewis jumped out to see the fun
but to the surprise of Mr. Fink nei
ther of the trio made their appear
ance that night. Robinson’s speed
exceeded his valor—a comparison
that did not obtain with Jake Drig
gers who encountered Bill Lewis on
his return from a fruitless chase,
quickly exchanged clothes and hats
with him, and putting him upon his
horse, started him for the house of
Mr. , our worthy politician,
where he soon joined him ; while
our friend Robinson was content to
hide his diminished head until he
might safely creep out from his con
cealment.
At the solemn hour of midnight,
a ticket marked “ heads up eyes right \
was put into Bill’s pocket—along
with a bonus doubtless —and that in
dividual solemnly sworn that the
aforesaid “ heads up, eyes right,”
should duly come from the ballot
box the ensuing Monday.
He was seen early next morning
among his State Rights friends,
loudly huzzaing for their cause, and
such was the burden of his song
upon the eventful Mon day.
Late in the evening, after the mo
notinous reading of names, lirst
upon one ticket, and then on the
other, had continued for some time,
the following appeared :
For the Senate:
A. B.
For Representatives:
C. D.
E. F.
Heads up, Eyes right.
There it was ! Bill slowly raised
his head and slyly, very slyly?
winked across the crowd to Mr. — ;
but for once, Bi i’s wink had been
seen where it was not intended.
The voles were counted out, and
the State Rights candidates declared
duly elected. The friends of the
Senator elect repaired to his house
to rejoice with him, and to shaie
in the festivities he had provided,
and among them no less a person
age than our friend Bill Lewis. —
Toasts were drank and liquor too, —
the cup of success and joy was full
to overflowing; Bill Lewis was
“uproarious,” he was never known
to huzza more vehemently for State
Rights, when to his unutterable con
sternation cries of “down with the
traitor,” “tar and feathers,” “put
him out,” were raised, and poor Bill
was seized and pitched headlong
from the house.
Poor Bill! he was never more
seen in the county of L . I
learned not long after that in adrun
ken frolick he had fallen into the fire
and been burned to death!
The contractors for the new clock
to be placed in the cupola of the City
Hall in New-York at a cost of S2OOO,
stipulate that, if during two years of
probation it shall vary three minutes
from the true time, they will ask no
pay.
[From Noah’s Sunday Times.]
THE LAUGHING HERO.
An incident of the Mas a ere of Colonel
Fannin and his men at Goliad dur
ing the Texan Revolution.
It was the morni .g of the 17th of
March, 183 G. Aurora, mother of
the dews and mistress of the man
sion of goldens clouds, came, as
she almost ever comes to the living
greenery of the plains of Goliad
—a thing of beauty, queen of the
sky, on a throne of the burning am
ber, robed in the crimson of fire,
with a diadem of purple, and
streamers of painted pink. Oh !it
was a glorious dawn for the poet to
sing of earth, or the saint to pray
heaven; but neither poet’s sung
nor saint’s prayed made matins of
the place and the hour. Alas ! no ;
it was a different sort of music.
A century of hoarse drums roar
ed the loud reveille that awoke four
hundred Texan prisoners and the
guard —four times their number of
Mexicans soldiers—the elite of the
Chief Butcher’s grand guard.
The prisoners were immediately
summoned to parade before the
post, in the main street of the vil
lage ; and every eye sparkled with
joy, and every tongue uttered its
shout—the involuntary exclamation
of confidence and hope —“Thanks
noble Santa Anna ! He is going to
execute the treaty! We shall be
shipped back to our beloved Uni
ted States ! We shall see our dear
friends once more !” Such were
the cheerful cries with which the
American volunteers, and the few
Texans among them, greeted the
order to form into line.
The line was formed and then
broken into two columns, when eve
ry instrument of music in the Mexi
can host sounded a merry march,
and they moved away with a quick
step over the prairie lo the west.
Five minutes afterwards ; a singu
lar dialogue occurred betwixt the
O
two leaders of the front column of
prisoners—
“ What makes y 7 ou walk so lame.
Col. Neil? Are you wounded?”
asked a tall handsome man, with
blue eyes, and bravery flashing
forth in all their beams.
“Col. Fannin, I walk lame to
keep from being wounded ; do you
not comprehend ?” replied the oth
er with a laugh, and such a laugh
as no words might describe—it was
so loud, so luxurious, like the roar
of the breakers of a sea of humor :
it was, in short, a laugh of the in
most heart.
“I do not comprehend you, I am
no artist in riddles,” rejoined Fan
nin, smiling himself at the ludicrous
gaiety of his companion so strange
ly ill-timed.
“You discover that lam lame in
each leg,” said Col. Neil, glancing
down at the members indicated, and
mimicking the movements of a con
firmed cripple, as he laughed loud
er than ever. “And yet,” he add
ed, in a whisper, “1 have neither
rheumatism in my knees, nor corns
on my toes, but I have two big re
volvers in my boots!”
“That is a violation of the treaty,
by which we agreed to deliver up
all our arms,” Colonel Fannin
mournfully suggested.
“You will see, however that I
shall need them before the sun is
an hour higher,” replied Neil. “Ah
Fannin, yon do not know the trea
chery of these base Mexicans.”
At the instant the sun arose in a
sky of extraordinary brilliancy, and
and a million flower-cups flung
their rich odors abroad over the
green prairie, as an offering to the
lord of light, when the mandate “to
halt” was given by one of Santa
Anna’s aids, and the two columns
ofprisoners were broken up and
scattered over the plain, in small
hollow squares, encircled on every
side by Mexican infantry and troops
of horse with loaded muskets and
naked swords! And then came a
momentary pause, awful in its still
ness, and disturbed only by an oc
casional shriek of terror, as the
most timid among the captives re
alized the impending storm of fire
and extinction of life’s last hope.
And then the infernal work of
wholesale murder was begun, and
a scene ensued such as scarcely
might be matched in the annals of
hell itself. The roar of musketry
burst in successive peals like ap
palling claps of thunder, but could
not utterly drown the prayers of the
living, the screams ofthe wounded,
and more terrible the groans of the
dying !
Colonel Fannin fell among the
first victims, but not so the giant
Neil. With the order of the Mexi
can officer for his men to fire, our
hero stooped almost to the earth, so
that the voliey passed entirely over
him. He waited not for a second ;
thrusting a hand into the leg ofeach
boot, he arose with a couple of six
shooters, the deadly revolvers of Al
len’s patent, and commenced dis
charging them, with the quick ra
pidity of ligtning, into the thickest
ranks of his foes, his immense
strength enabling him to pull both
triggers together.
Panic stricken with surprise and
fear, the Mexicans recoiled and
opened a passage, through which
Neil bounded, with the spring of a
panther, and fled away, as if wings
were tied to his heels, while half a
dozen horsmen gave chase. Fora
while it seemed doubtful whether
the giant colonel would not distance
even these, so much had the perils
of the occasion increased the natur
al elasticity of his mighty muscles.
But presently a charger, fleeter than
the rest might be discerned gaining
on his human rival, and approach
ing so near that the dragoon raised
his flashing sabre for the coup de
grace. Neil became conscious of
his danger, and hastily slackened
his speed till the hot stream of
smoke from the horse’s nostrils and
then wheeling suddenly, he fired
another round from a revolver, and
the rider tumbled from his saddle.
The victim then renewed his flight.
A mad yell of grief and rage
broke from the remaining troopers
as they witnessed the fate of their
comrade, and its effect was immedi
ately evident in the augmented cau
tion of their pursuit for they gallop
ed afterwards in one body, thereby
greatly retarding their progress, so
that Neil reached the river before
them. He paused not a moment,
but plunged headlong down the
steep bank into the current, and
struck off for the other shore. The
dragoons fired their side-arms in
effectually, and gave over the chase !
In a few minutes Neil landed, and
as soon as he felt satisfied that he
was realy saved, burst into an in
suppressible convulsion of laught
er, exclaiming; “It will kill me !
Just to think how astonished the
yellow devils looked when I hauled
the revolversoutof my boots !”
Such was Col. John Neil—pos
sessing a fund of humor that no
misfortune could ever exhaust, and
a flow of animal spirits which would
have enabled him to dance on the
graves of all his dearest friends, or
to have sung Yankee Doodle at his
own execution.
At a much later period of Texan
history, the writer had the happi
ness to make the gallant Colonel’s
acquaintance. The first time I
saw him was at the city ofHouston,
in the summer of 1845. He was
standing on die ground su p of th<*
flight leading up to the door of “The
Star Hotel. Holding his sides with
both hands and emitting: through his
enormous mouth boisterous explo
sions, he seemed literally dying
with laughter; his face turned pur
ple, and ihe blue veins on his fore
head swelled out thick as a man's
thumb while his eyes gleaming with
savage mirth remained fixed on a
form in the porcli above him. The
latter was lawyer Sell) Alien, a gen
tleman with the tall meagre figure
of a barber's pole, a huge mustache,
and great profusion of rufiles. He
had fought a duel, mortal to his
antagonist, the previous day, and
was just then relating to a circle of
wondering loafers the history ( f his
prowess. The contrast between
bis skeleton figure, foppish dress,
and narraied-exploits, had struck
Neil as transcendently ludicrous ;
and hence his sudden and ungover
nable merriment.
“What are vou laughing at, fel
low?” Allen demanded sternly,
as he measured our Falstaffwith his
eye.
“At you,” followed by another
sonorous peal, was the answer.
‘Til teach you howto make sport
of gentlemen !” shouted Allen, fren
zied with rage, as he flew down the
steps and aimed a furious kick full
at the other’s face.
Neil caught the foot in his right
hand, and then stooping, suddenly
thrust his head between Allen’s leg
and fairly raised him on his neck.
In that ridiculous position he trotted
with the famous duelist several
times around the yard, as a strong
man might trot with a child laugh
ing noisily like an idiot, while Allen
vociferated for his pistols! Neil
then walked off leisurely some fifty
paces, and tossed his burden into a
mudhole with a roar that was re
echoed by the spectators.
An immediate challenge was the
result. Col. Neil accepted those ri
fles of the largest size, and fixed the
distance at a hundred yards.
“ I will only wing him, said the
laughing hero, as he took his stand ,
he’s too poor to make good bacon ! ”
At the first fire he broke the other’s
arm, and so the affair ended.
A mere running reference to the
remaining facts of our singular bi
ography, must close this sketch.
Col. Neil was born and brought
up in a pine tent on the banks of
the Cumberland river, in Tennes
see. At the age of fifteen he ran
away to the wilderness of Texas. —
He there adopted the profession of
arms, which he never more relin
quished. He has been captain of
rangers, a colonel of militia, guard
man to Mexican traders, and a gen
eral thief-catcher for the sheriffs of
many counties ; and yet all his life
has been one long, merry laugh, if
ever man had, fora braver,warmer,
more generous heart never beat in
a human bosom. He deserves to
realize his favorite wish, “to die
laughing.”
Mirth is like a flash of lightning,
that breaks through a glootn of
clouds, and glitters for a moment.
Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of
daylight in the mind, filling it with
a steady and perpetual serenity.—
Addison .
A landlord, in Pittsburg, who is
well known for his dunning habits,
had called several times on a ten
ant who owed him money. The
tenant finally sent a note inviting
him to call on him * in the back room
of the third story and receive his
money.* The landlord bad read
the Webster testimony and has not
troubled bis tenant since.
NUMBER 14