Newspaper Page Text
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THE ATLANTA HERALD.
JOSIAH CARTER, I J. C. McMICHAEL,
Editor. | Businegs Manager.
Published by the Herald Newspaper Co.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
Daily, one year, 96.00; six months, >1.00; three
months, 75 cents; one month, 25 cents; one week,
six cents; delivered in the oity by carrier or
sent by mail postage tree.
h ntered at the Atlanta Postojhce as second-class
mail matter.
Office No, 67 South Broad Street.
No Light, No Money.
The couhty commissioners move in
a mysterious way.
They met today and so far changed
their order for an election as to make
it on the 16th of May, a day on which
the people will vote on the $182,000
water bond issue.
But the esteemed commissioners
r would not say where the jail or the
reformatory or the court house would
-Z. be located, nor give any other informa
tion than that they would spend $50,000
on the reformatory and a SIOO,OOO on
the jail and $450,000 on the court
house.
Well, the people say, “If you can’t
trust us in this matter we will not
trust you.”
So the commissioners are a little
premature in apportioning the money.
They figure like the fellow who said,
“When I catch this rat and two more
I will have three.”
After a while the commissioners
will learn to take the people into their
confidence and then we will have a
new court house.
><■»><
The Big Man and the Little Men.
Just at this time President Cleve
land has our profound sympathy.
He is in the midst of a political hub
bub of the most furious character, and
our own state is one of the chief par
ticipants.
We wish we could rescue Mr. Cleve
land from this disgraceful turmoil,
but he will not even know that |he
has so much as our good wishes, for he
is so hemmed in by hungry office
seekers that the outside world cannot
reach him.
The president is a wise and patriotic
man, with broad ideas, well considered
plans and is earnestly seeking to further
the interests of his countrymen. He
has a deep sense of the responsibility
that rests upon him and is consecrated
to his task. He is far above the jeal
ousies of small politicians and abso
lutely free from their selfishness.
And yet Mr. Cleveland is the vic
tim of the trickeries of the politicians
for in many things he must rely on
tell him. If he gets the
trujth be by accident. He will
a man an jpce ton the score of
?ess and 10, he wifl be simply pay
yi.. / » debt for a politician, or he will
refuse another man an office and be
settling the score of a jealous par
tisan.
Out of the fujy will come a few fel
lows with jobs, a good many fellows
with disappointment and bitterness,
and there will be nothing in it all of
special profit or pride to the people.
We wish Grover Cleveland could
/ know Georgia as she is, and not as
she appears when presented by the
horde of small men and wire pullers
who are using him to pull the chest
nuts out of the fire.
Are Carlisle and Gresham Pout
ing?
The New York Herald in a Wash
ington dispatch of a column’s length
says Carlisle and Gresham are grow
ing restive under the restraints put
upon them by the president.
. Below are extracts from The
Herald’s telegram:
There is considerable trouble ahead for
the new administration. It is nearing the
rocks of discord. There are very distinct
and alarming rumblings of discontent
among the members of Mr. Cleveland’s
official household. As yet, however, there
has been no open breach between the
president and any member of the cabinet.
The trouble has been caused by Mr.
Cleveland’s determination to take indi
ual charge and direction of every branch of
the government.
Men like John G. Carlisle
and Walter Q. Gresham did not
like this. Friends of both these
gentlemen tell me they had quite de
cided views as to the policy they should
pursue in directing these important
branches of the government. The very
broad intimatiorf, therefore, that has been
given them by Mr. Cleveland that he de
sired to be consulted in all matters before
any action was taken has both surprised
and pained them. The president is deter
mined to run the administration single
handed, using the members of the cabinet
simply as instruments to carry out his will.
There is still another source of annoy-
RM ance to members of the cabinet, particu
larly to Secretary GreshaM and Secretary
Carlisle. It is the unusual powers given
by Mr. Cleveland to CoIoneLvLAMONT.
Heretofore the portfolio of war has not
• been regarded as by any means the most
important, but there can be no doubt that
its present head will have more influence
at the white house than all the rest of the
cabinet combined.
A good illustration of this feeding was
told me today. An intimate lady friend
called on Mrs. Carlisle in search of em
ployment. She wanted a clerkship in the
treasury department, and felt shat if any
one could secure one Mrs. Carlisle could.
Mrs. Carlisle told her: “I am sorry, but
it cannot be done. Mr. Carlisle has no
places except those with very small salaries
attached at his disposal. All appointments
are made from the white house. In fact,
I may say that John is nothing more than
one of the president’s clerks. If it were to
be done over again I can assure you John
would remain in the senate.”
Very likely there is some truth in
the above, but not enough to hurt.
Gresham and Carlisle have known
Mr. Cleveland long enough to under
stand his ways. He is president and
never has been and never will be a
-figure head.
The Sketch Book.
Recently, four prisoners confined in Ful
ton county jail set fire to the roof in order
to effect their escape.
This looks like arson,but it seems it isn’t,
so the law says.
If a man sets fire to a house in the city he
is guilty of arson, and if convicted is
punished with death or imprisonment for
life.
The same law applies to dwelling houses
in the country.
The difference between a fire in a jail
and one in a residence is this: The prison
ers, frequently numbering as many as one
hundred, have no opportunity to escape
except by one door, while the family in a
dwelling house has every opportunity to
get safely and quickly out by at least one
of the many doors or windows.
The supreme court has held that a pris
oner cannot be indicted for arson if he uses
fire as a means of attempting or effecting
his escape, and the four prisoners were
tried by Judge Westmoreland for defacing
a public building.
This seems hardly (just, but such is the
case.
According to the law these men were no
more culpable than if they had written
their names on the court house walls or
knocked a piece of plastering from the
capitol.
Had the fire not been promptly dis
covered it would have gained headway
quickly and possibly many lives lost.
It does seem that this matter should
have the attention of the lawmakers of
this state and some provision be made to
at least give the one who endangers hun
dreds of lives the same medicine that is
given to one who jeopardizes a few.
The jail officials have quite an aesthetic
boarder i n the person of George Roberts.
His cell is decorated in away quite out
of place amid its gloomy surroundings.
Fair faces of famous actresses look at
you from the whitewashed walls, and the
ceiling is covered with artistically arranged
Japanese napkins.
The cruel iron bars are hidden from view
with highly colored pictures, while the
rays of light through the narrow window
are softened and tinged by colored papers.
The county should employ George to ex
ercise his skill and taste on the entire
building.
An order was issued last week by the
ordinary which changed Judge Blood
worth’s courtroom to the building adjoin
ing. The contractors were slow in finishing
the new rooms, and the judge was some
what exercised about the matter as the
time for holding court approached.
If the change of quarters was not made
by the date ordered by the ordiuary a
question would arise about the legality of
the acts of the court held in the old place.
The work was finished late on the even
ing of the last day of grace, and that night
the judge and his bailiffs were engaged
until a late hour in making the transfer.
When the work of moving was finished
there still remained a few hours to spare
before the day named in the order.
Why don’t some of our public-spirited
citizens, who desire an everlasting monu
ment to their memory, build a tower on
Fort Walker, at Grant park? The place is
admirably adapted for an observatory.
A building of granite sixty feet high
placed in the center of the old fort would
be the greatest attraction of the park.
The view from the top would he grand
and embrace many miles of as pretty
scenery as' can be found in the state. Let
us have a tower by all means.
It is doubtful if the proprietor of a
Mitchell street restaurant ever carefully
studied the sign that adorns the western
wall of his place of business.
In modest letters at the top of the wall
is the announcement that the building is
occupied by a first class restaurant, while
immediately below in colors the
meuit of a dyspepsia cure are set forth.
Speaking of signs, there’s one at the jail
which contains a warning it would be well
for every one to heed.
On the big white fence where it can not
fail to be seen are these words:
“Posted—The public is warned to keep
out.”
What has become of the big fountain to
be erected on Marietta street?
BASEBALL
This week.
Atlanta vs. Chicago.
Brave Up, Men.
tj Ju
few&'p Am
If the ladies insist on wearing crinoline,
there is no reason why they should have it
all their own way.—Truth.
A Good Flan.
Mr. Micawber— l wish I knew some nice
easy way to make money.
Mrs. Micawber —Well, my dear, you
might get your life insured and then die.—
New York Weekly.
Dixie Baking Powder.
Absolutely none better.
DAMAGED SHOES
=FOR sale==
AT YOUR OWN PRICE !
Having several hundred pairs of damaged and sample shoes on hand, we
will offer same AT YOUR OWN PRICE for ten days. We also show the
best $3.00, $4.00, $6.00 and $6.00 Men’s Shoes on the market.
John M. Moore Shoe Co.,
RETAIL STORE, NO. 2 WHITEHALL.
~>“Wear Southern-Made Shoes.”<
THE HERALD, ATLANTA, GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 1893.
A SLANDERi
Mr. Hoke Smith Is Not Colonel
Dink Botts, of Lumpkin.
The New York Sun pretends to have
discovered that Secretary Hoke Smith
and Colonel Dink Botts are one and
the same—a sort of Dr. Jekyel and Mr.
Hyde—the grand transformation scene
taking place every day at sp. m. The
Sun’s story is as follows:
The Portrait of a Slaiestnaa.
The secretary leaned back until the
great armchair creaked. The cheese
sandwich lay untasted before him, but
from time to time he sipped absent
mindedly at a glass of American
ginger ale. A little traveler’s clock
on his desk struck 1. He started, and
a series of shudders seemed to run up
and down his seventy-two inches of
massive bulk, like bubbles in a glass of
champagne. With a sort of convulsive
backward twitch of his head he looked
up at the portrait hung over his desk,
a full-length figure in oils of a portly,
middle-aged man with a genuine
Lumpkin county smile on his face.
“Great Scott!” cried the secretary,
shaking bis fist at the chipper counte
nance of the portrait, “how much lon
ger can this go on without detection?
First it didn’t come until 6 o’clock,
yesterday it was only 5 :30 o’clock, and
today I feel as though it might come
at any moment. If it could only be
put off until after dark; but no, here
are the days getting longer and longer,
and the Thing coming a little earlier
every day. What if some of the watch
men or charwomen ” Here the
secretary struck che desk a ringing
blow, and laughed the kind of laugh
that is not good to hear. “O, haven’t I
had a good time since I left Atlanta,”
he cried. “I don’t mind working like
a roustabout, but it’s enough to break
up any man’s nerves to go through
what I have to every day. Well, there’s
no way out of it. I may as well go to
work while I can. Perhaps I may have
four hours yet, but that horrible feel
ing in my head ..tells me that the
Thing’s going to come early today.
What is it, Jerry?”
“Colonel Munk Irish and' Major
Buck Whilkins, sir, to see about Colo
nel Hightower Sweat’s appointment.”
“Show them in, Jerry.”
Jerry shows them in.
“Good morning, colonel; good morn
ing, major. Glad to see you. Haven’t
reached Colonel Sweat’s name yet, but
shall try to get down to it this after
noon. His papers are all right. I see
you are interested in that portrait,
Colonel Irish. Natural, isn’t it?”
“About the best I ever see, Colonel
Smith, unless ’twas the red cow that
was painted on the sides of old Shack
Muffletrib’s butcher cart down in the
valley. Poor old Shack! He might
have been postmaster at the Creek if
he’d lived.”
“Well, the’re a few of us left yet,
Colonel,” said the secretary pleasantly.
• “Well, we didn’t want you to be
lonely, Mr. Secretary. We came on to
see Mr. Botts ”
“Never mind about Mr. Botts now,
gentleman. If you will call around
about 5 o’clock I think I can tell you
just how Colonel Sweat’s case stands.”
At 4:50 o’clock Colonel Munk Irish
and Major Buck Whilkins were again
ushered into £the secretary’s private
office. He was still busy writing at
his desk, and asked them to be seated.
Colonel Irish had been going about
the city without a cab for most of the
day, and he dropped into a doze. Major
Buck Whilkins, always vigilant, fixed
his eyes upon the back of the secre
tary’s head. After studying that for a
few minutes his eye was caught by
what seemed to be' little tremulous
waves of motion running across the
canvass of the portrait. Colonel Buck
Whilkins knew Washington whisky,
and he was prepared to receive sur
prise parties without emotion; but
when, after various little preliminary
gurgles, the clock struck 5, it occurred
to the major that something was hap
pening. From the figure at the desk
came a low but dreadful groan; from
the portrait an exultant and tumultu
ous whoop.
The floor shook as the great portrait,
frame and all, jumped down. Major
Buck Whilkins, in spite of the instinct
of calmness natural to a man familiar
with the wine of the country and its
ingenious optical illusions, breathed
hard and felt at once a tightening and
a quickening of the heart. He felt the
need of companionship and the
strength of numbers, and he kicked
vainly but instinctively at the shins
of Colonel Munk Irish, whose upturned
nose was droning a magnificent hymn
to sleep. Alone was Colonel Buck
Whilkins obliged to see a figure in a
guilt frame, and weighing perhaps
two hundred and seventy pounds,
pour out a little cordial glass of the
contents of a corking big demijohn
which the painter had depicted inZthe
right-hand corner. The secretary
started up, fell back, waved his hands,
but feebly for so athletic a man. He
seemed under a spell. He made a
little resistance to the portion offered
him, but his physical, an,d apparently
his mental agony, was extreme. It was
only for a moment, however, like the
gasps of a man taking laughing gas.
S&He sank back. Tenderly the Portrait
Man put the frame around him. The
secretary’s form and features seemed
to undergo some sudden and subtiliz
ing change, at once fading, and bright
ening. His eyes looked straight at
Major Buck Whilkins, who shifted his
position in Vain. His face gained
color, an ethereal smile hovered on his
lips, a certain affected attitude was
observable in him. It was all done in
a moment; too quick for Major Buck
Whilkins or any other man to describe.
“But when I saw the fellow with
whiskers hang up the secretary on the
wall in the gold frame,” said the major
at the Metropolitan that evening, “I
just give a good yell, and ran as fast
as I could, leaving Munk there.” After
this speech the major was moss un
justly put to bed by his friends, and
filled with' bromide and eromatic
spirits of ammonial
> 1/- '•
It was dusk wi\en Colonel Irish
woke up. It was not so dark, however,
that he could not see who handed to
him Colonel Hightower Sweaty ap
pointment. “What, you here, Colonel
Botts? Why, I must have been asleep.
Where’s the secretary?”
“Oh, he asked me/to give you this;
I’m helping him a little about the ap
pointments, you see. Good evening,
colonel.” ' ;
“We waited for you until 8 o’clock
last night, Mr. Smith,” said the Hon.
John Allen, of Mississippi. “Why did
you want us to eat our dinner cbld?”
“Well, I’m very sorry, but I had an
appointment at the department with
Mr. Botts last night, and he kept me
late.”
AT CONEY' ISLAND.
Corbett A srrees to Meet Mitohell
There.
From the New York World. .
The Corbett-Mitchell match is
tied as far as the champion is cuff 1
cerned. Even if the New Orleans
clubs should raise Judge Newton’s bid,
Corbett says he will stick by his agree
ment with the Coney Islander. Law*
yer Hummel expects a cable from
Mitchell today, and if the latter is sat
isfied with a $40,000 purse, which is
almost a certainty, the northern makqr
of matches will within twenty-four
hours have a paper in his possession
which $20,000 would not buy. This
same paper is valuable as it is, but
with the signature of Mitchell’s repre
sentative underneath that of Corbett
it will naturally become more precious.\
Corbett admits that his talk of $75,000
and all that sort of thing was more or
less for effect.
“I knew perfectly well that the
purse would not be as great as
Jim confessed yesterday afternoorf,
“but I wanted to see what the clubs’
would do. It was ■my intention th
rest for a week at Mount Clemens,
but I thought by coming on to iNew
York I could fix up the match and,h»
done with it. It looked, up to ttie
eleventh hour, as though nothing
would be done, but Newton’s figures
satisfied me and I signed.”
“Had you heard nothing froth the
Crescent City Athletic club?” asked a
World reporter.
“Not a word,” Jim replied, “save
what appeared in the newspapers? f
expected Charley Noel on here, but as
he showed no disposition to try for the'
match, I considered that he wasn’t
anxious to have the fight in New Or
leans. He may go on and bid now, but
the match is a fixed thing unless they
cable Mitchell a better offer. When
the Englishman left he declared that I
could have the privilege of naming the
club, with the promise that it should
be the club offering the best induce
ments. Accordingly I signed wUtu
Newton.”
Corbett left at 5 :15 o’clock, p. m., for
Montreal in company with Mrs. Cor
bett and Manager Brady. He will not
see New York again for eight months,
and it was principally on this account
that he wished to settle the question
of a battle-ground.
Lawyer Hummel is in favor of Coney
Island, and will sign for Mitchell the
moment he receives word from the
English pugilist. .
sls, $lB and S2O solicp oak*
this week at Snook & Son.
I T\ TA will secure lodgings
\ l IOP lIQV in P leasant neighbor
lip £ Udj hood, convenient and
J within easy access of
the grounds during the World’s Fair.
Dates are now being made for the months
of May and June. Parties of six or more
will be met 10 or 15 miles out from city and
escorted to house. As dates are being
rapidly taken up those desiring to secure
pleasant quarters would do well to apply
at once. Address, F. W. Brown,!
373 W. Van Buren street, Chicago, 111.
BASEBALL
This week. ??
Atlanta vs. Chicago.
Did He Understand?
He was seated across the room.
“George,” she said, “if afire were to sud
denly break out ip the house what would
be your first impulse do you think?”
“Well, my first thought would be for you
of course. I would get you to a place of
safety and then do what I could to extin
guish the flames.”
“It would be very nice of you my dear
to think of me first, but if a fire were to
break out now for instance, wouldn’t you
lose valuable time in running across the
room ?” —Exchange.
—•« ",
Not Much! - 1
Mrs. Billus—John, you smell awfully of
tobacco! Why don’t you quit smoking the
vile, horrid, nasty stuff?
Mr. Billus (righteously indignant)—lf
you think, Maria, I’m going to pay more
than 40 cents a pound for my smoking to
bacco just to please a woman thas’s no
judge and couldn’t tell the difference to
save her life, you’re going to be xnost beau
tifully left, madam. —Chicago Tribune.
In Cash.
Manager (t o popular leading man)—What
salary do you expect?
Leading Man—l must have a contract for
S7OO a week.
Manager—That’s understood, but how
much actual cash do you want for your
services? '
Leading Man—Thirty dollars a week.—
New York Herald.
Generous.
Wholesale Merchant—We will give your
boy a chance, sir, to learn the business, but
the first year he will not receive any salary.
Father of the Boy (dubiously)—rWhat
will he get the second year?
Merchant—Veil, if he is faithful. And apt
the second y< .r, we will double what he
gets the first.—Texas Siftings. i
Bwes
KMMHHiiIMKpij
AS ffIMT
Sfflfi MEDICINE
A FIRST-CLASS LAXATIVE.
Just What You Need at This
Season of the Year.
It may not be generally known, but
it is a fact that there is no remedy that
can compare with that standard and
carefully prepared remedy, Gold
sjtiith’s “Laxative Prune Syrup.” It
is a most delicious fruit syrup, pleas
ant tp the taste and efficient in action,
1 especially adapted to those who are not
very regular and vigorous, and who
do not care to take active cathartic
purges, but who need a mild and effi
cient laxative, but which at the same
<fme fills every requirement necessary
It this season of the year.
| Under its action the liver is relieved
from engorgement and a cure will fol
low in all cases of constipation, bilious
Jpiarrhoea, headache, nervousness,
drowsiness, jaundice, fever, and all the
ailments that follow a dormant liver
or impaired digestion. It regulates
‘the stomach, increases the appetite,
' insures refreshing sleep, and wards off
numerous’spring and summer diseases.
Every one at this season of the year
needs an apperient, and there is none
better, cheaper, or more pleasant to
the taste than “Laxative Pruhe Syrup.”
If people as a rule, also children sub
ject to the diseases of the season, would
use this syrup, they would find their
health improved, and save expensive
doctor’s bills, as well as much suffering.
Price 34 cents per large bottle, at
Jacobs’ Pharmacy, corner Peachtree
and Marietta streets.
Have Laxative Prune Syrup handy
to use when your liver becomes dor
mant, or your bowels constipated. In
this respect “An ounce of preventive
is worth a pound of cure.”
Realistic.
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’ —Life.
What It Was.
A London newspaper relates that a few
days ago Queen Victoria was greatly
charmed with a piece of music performed
by the band playing in public at Osborne
and sent one of her attendants to learn the
name of the piece. The attendant came
back and reported with some embarrass
ment that it was entitled “Come Where the
Booze is Cheaper.”—Argonaut.
A Surprise.
First Mature Maiden—Mr. Smith looks
quite young and jaunty since his marriage,
doesn’t he?
Second Mature Maiden —Yes, so he does.
He looks almost as young as he did when I
refused him. He was 25 then.
First Mature Maiden—lndeed! I had no
idea he was 50. —Truth.
Skeptical.
“They are going to try the minister for
heresy,” said Deaoop Potter by.
“How so?” asked the sinner.
“W’y, we had a pound party for his bene
fit a couple of weeks ago, and what did he
do but have a pair of scales and weitffi ev
ery thing that was brought in.”f
A ONCE MIGHTY MAN.
THE “SHIP’S WRITER” WAS AT ONE
* TIME A VERY GREAT POWER.
A Legend of the American Navy Treating
of a Common Seaman Who Surprised a
Whole Man-of-war From the Bluejack
ets to the August Admiral.
The new pay table regulating the emolu
ments of the enlisted men in the United
States navy shows some very interesting
things. Among others, it illustrates how
the mighty have fallen. Time was when
that person known as “ship’s writer” was
a man of considerable importance on ship
board, and one whose worth received recog
nition in a high rate of pay. To the crew
the first lieutenant is regarded as the pow
er behind the throne, but in many cases
his writer was a power that was greater
than the throne itself.
The monthly requisitions for money are
made out by him, and it was a part of his
duty to see that none of the men obtained
more than their conduct entitled them to.
The pay of all those who serve in the navy
is of course regulated by a higher author
ity, but the commanding officer of a ship
always lays down certain rules which must
be observed by the men if they want to
draw from the paymaster their full month
ly allowance.
Nearly every man-of-war’s man has some
reminiscence to relate of the writers with
whom he has served. One of these tells of
how an ancient bluejacket once presented
himself, cap in hand, at the writer’s office.
That individual, it appears, was busy at the
time, and after an ineffectual attempt to
gain a hearing the man went forward. He
made another effort and again failed. A
third time he tried it, only to be sharply
told by the writer to go forward, as he did
not have time to talk to him.
He only went as far forward as the main
mast, the place where all grievances on the
part of the crew are carried. The officer of
the watch, who was silently pacing the
quarter deck, soon observed the quiet figure
standing at attention near the mast, and on
approaching him asked what was the
trouble.
“I would like to speak to the first lieu
tenant,” said the man carrying his hand to
his cap.
“What do you want to speak to the first
lieutenant about?” inquired the officer,
somewhat nettled that the nature of the
complaint had not been disclosed to him.
“Well, sir, it is an important matter, and
I would like to see the executive person
ally about it.”
The officer hesitated a moment, and then
remembering that the navy regulations pro
vide that no audience with the executive
officer must be denied stalked off, knocked
on the door of the executive and told him
there was a man at the mast who wished to
see him. The executive walked forward,
and after returning the salute of the man
was astonished to learn that he simply
wanted his permission to speak to the cap
tain.
“What in the name of creation do you
want to see the captain about?” asked the
dumfounded officer as he hastily recalled
the punishments he had caused to be in
flicted without his superior’s authority.
“Oh, it’s merely a private matter, sir,”
was the reassuring response, “but it is a
very important one to me, and I would like
to speak to the captain abou ”
“But can’t I settle it?” as’ . the execu
tive after satisfying himaelf that he had
not exceeded his authority and wishing to
save his commander annoyance. “Tell me
what’s the trouble, and I will lay the case
before him.”
“No, sir,” persisted the man. “I want to
see the captain personally.”
After that there was nothing more for
the executive to do but to send the orderly
to the captain with the message that there
was a man at the mast who wanted to
speak to him.' It was an unusual request,
and that officer did not know what £o make
of it. However, he came out of the cabin
and walked to the mast, accompanied by
the executive and the officer of the deck.
“What is it you want, my man?” he in
quired as the seaman carried his hand to
his cap.
“If you please, sir,” replied the latter, “I
would like your permission to speak to the
admiral.”
“What the deuce—what do you want to
see the admiral about?” gasped the aston
ished commander.
“Well, sir, it is an important matter, and
he is the only man who can decide it, and I
ask your permission to speak to him.”
The trio of officers paced the quarter
deck in silence for a few minutes. What
the man wanted none of them could im
agine. The captain said he had never heard
of such a request being made before, and
the officer of the deck, fresh from the na
val academy, admitted that he never had
either. After hearing how the man had
gone through the regular and prescribed
channels to gain an audience with the ad
miral the captain concluded that it was
best to notify the admiral that there was a
man at the mast who had asked to speak
to him.
Admirals are not easily accessible, and
the request was such a singular one to
come from such a source that the admiral
could hardly credit it when the orderly de
livered the message. The captain was sent
for, but he assured his superior that the
man was not crazy, and that he had made
a formal request to speak to him. he
couldn’t say what he wanted to see him
about. The man seemed to think that it
was a matter of such importance that only
the admiral should hear it.
The gray bearded officer arose from- his
chair, donned his uniform—for it would
not do for him to appear upon the deck of
his flagship except in the prescribed uni
form of the day—and then, after drawing
on his gloves, he sent word to the captain
that he was ready to see the man. The
captain came on deck, and accompanied by
the first lieutenant and officer of the deck
the two proceeded to the mast, where the
figure of the seaman was outlined against a
group of his wondering companions, who
had assembled in the gangway, curious to
know what it all meant.
“Well, what’s the trouble with you?”
asked the admiral as the man touched his
cap and stood at attention.
“If you please, sir,” replied the seaman,
“I would like permission to speak to the
ship’s writer.”
The result of the Interview the legend
does not tell, but it is melancholy to note
in the new navy pay table that the services
of the individual with whom the story deals
are now valued at only $35 a month;—New
York Times.
A Good Case.
The young fellow about the Jefferson
avenue merchant’s store had. grown from
bad to worse, and at last his employer had
an open row with him.
“What are you going to do about it?”
asked the youth insolently.
“I’ll Are you,” said the irate merchant.
“You do and I’ll have you arrested.”
The merchant gasped.
“Have me arrested?’* he exclaimed.
“What for?”
“For firing in the city limits without a
permit,” and the merchant risked it then
and there.—Detroit Free Press.
Two Extremes.
Employment Agent—What was the mat
ter with youi last place?
Domestic —The couple had only been
married a month, an I cudn’t stand th’ love
makin. ;
Agent—Well, here’s a chance in a house
where the couple have been married 10
years.
Domestic —That’s too long. I likes peace
an quiet.—New York Weekly.
Minister to the Court of St. James.
We have been tendered the appointment by
Mr. Cleveland of Minister to the Court of St.
James, but we think we can serve the public
... to a better advantage by remaining at our
same stand,
a ; .
222 Marietta Street,
And offering bargains, such as have run the
populace wild. Last Saturday night we epn
templated a rush for our $lO Easter suits, but
the jam far exceeded our expectations, and a
great many had to go away without being
waited on; so, for
This Week Only
We shall sell another limited lot of the same
clothing at the same price. We desire to give
a pointer to all wanting a handsome Spring
suit to
Come at Once
Or the Opportunity May Be Gone.
The limited amount of suits we have set aside
may be picked over to such an extent that you
cannot get one to fit you. Remember
$lB Suits for $lO
For This Week Only.
Time and tide waits for no man, neither will
such bargains. The lame, the halt, the deaf,
the blind, the long, the short, the poor, the
rich, will all take advantage of these prices
and you will be left out in the cold.
UNION CLOTHING HOUSE,
222 Marietta Street.
S. M. ROGOWSKIE, Proprietor.
ONIC I’RICE
Wed and Sat
CHIMMIE FADDEN.
He Uses His East Side Dialect to Describe
a Scrapping Match.
“Say, if I ever gets old ’nough t’ know
wots good fer me, I’ll go inter de freak
shows as de snug wot dissevered Harlem. I
alius upsets de'growler jess when it’s full,
an dat’s why I ain’t stuck <A vneself. See?
“Everyting up t’ our house was runnin
slick as er ambulance, an tings was comin
my way so fast I comes near breakin me
neck er dodgin ’em. Dat’s good ’nough fer
a mug like me, ain’t it? Sure.
“Well, lemme tell ye. I was out in de
barn teachin de coachman’s kid dat new
song, an was jess tellin ’im I’d give ’im one
more chanst t’ sing it right er I’d tump ’im,
when in comes ’is wiskers wider mug wot
comes from Boston t’ visit us. Say, I was
on t’ dat mug when ’e was t’ our house
before, an I puts ’im up fer a sporty boy.
See?
“Well, he comes out dere t’ look at er
boss wot ’is wiskers got fer Miss Fannie t’
try fer a saddle boss; ’cause ’e knows a
'boss, dat Boston mug, when ’e sees one. I
fetches de boss outter de stall an was hold
in ’im while dey was pipin ’im off. All of
er suddint dat Boston mug says t’ ’is
wiskers, ’e says. ‘Don’t yuse know any
slugging match onfer t’night?’ says ’e.
“Wid dat ’is wiskers sent de coachman’s
kid erway, an ’e shut de door, an be says t’
me, says ’e, ‘Chames,’ ’e says, ‘Chames, me
friend from Boston is er studint er human
nature,’ ’e says, like dat. ‘An if yuse are
onto a boxin match anywhere t’night,’ ’e
says, ‘p’raps yuse could bring us dere wid
out Miss Fannie knowin it.' Dat’s wot he
says. See? Jollyin me. See? Say, I taut
I’d die ’cause 1 couldn’t laugh, butj I says,
sober as er judge in de Tombs, I says, ‘De
Roseleaf Social, Outin and Life Savin club
has er scrap on t’night,’ says I, ‘an I could
git yuse in dere fer a plunk each,’ says I.
“I knowed de tickets was only 25 cents,
but I taut as ’is wiskers was jollyin me I’d
jolly ’im. See?
“Den de Boston mug ’e says, sober as
me, says ’e, ‘Yuse go an fix tings, an we’ll
meet ye after dinner,’ says ’e, an ’e coughs
up er fiver. Dat’s straight; er clean, green
fiver. ’E’s er dead sport, dat mug.
“Well, I tole ’em where t’ meet me at 9
o’clock, an I made er sneak down t’ de
Bowrey t’ fix tings wid me friend, de bar
keep, wot’s de president of de Roseleafs.
When I tole de barkeep dat de swell gents
wasgoin t’ meet me in ’is place,’e never
charged me nottin fer de tickets.
“Well, at 9 o’clock dey comes chasin up
t’ de door in er back, an, hully gee! who’d
ye tink was wid ’em? Mr. Burton, de mug
wot’s Miss Fannie’s felly! Sure. Mr. Bur
ton, ’e says, when dey chases in de place,
says ’e, ‘Good evenin, Mr. Fadden,’ ’e
says, as perlite as dat.’ ‘Good evenin, Mr.
Fadden.’ See? Dat was because ’e was
tryin t’ string de crowd dere an make ’em
tink de swells wasn’t no swells, but was
friends er mine wot was coachmen or but
lers, er mugs like dat. See? Say, dat’s
where dey was farmers. De crowd dere was
dead on t’ onct. Dere ain’t nobody can
string dose Roseleafs. Dey all live on de
Bowrey. But me friend, de barkeep, ’e
gives de gang one look, an when ’e done
dat dey knowed der business. Dey never
took no notice er de swells, cause de bar
keep ’e runs dat gang. See?
“Den me friend, do barkeep, ’e tips us de
wink, and we makes er sneak after ’im t’
de back room, where de scrappin'was.
“Say, yuse would die ter see de sporty
boy from Boston jolly up de game. ’E
wasn’t in de back room er minute ’fore ’e
knowed all de mugs’ names, an ’e chipped
in fer de purse fer de first scrap, an ’e was
near runnin de show. ’ls wiskers was kind
er cranky, like ’e taut sometin wrong was
goin ter happen, an kep’ ’is eye on de door
All de time. Well, der was two mixed ale
fedderweights sluggin each odder fer de
first purse, when ’is wiskers, all of er sud
dint, near fell offien de chair, an ’e groans,
‘De perlicel’
“Dat’s wot dey was, sure ’nough, de cops.
Dey comes in dqi front door an de back door,
an dere was er cop at de window. De gang
was near paralyzed. Say, I w&s tjftkiu wot
AJiss Fannie, wiquld "
“De first ting de sporty boy said was t’ tell
me t’ fix de cops, an ’e shoved er wad in ma
fist. I knowed de cop wot was bossin da
raid, an I knowed dere was no flxin ’im dat
way. But I collared de wad, jess for luck,
an went over and wispers t’ de cop. ‘Do
yuse know Senator Burton?’ I wispers.
Sure,’ says ’e. /
“ ‘Weil, date ’im.A T says..noddinl t/ MisS
Fannie’s felly.
“De cop looks over an says, says’e, ’Hully
gee!’ ’e says,.‘dat’s straight. Wot’s he doiu
here?’
“ ‘ ’E’s wider couple er members,’ I says,
’’vestigatin de slums,’ says I.
“Say, I give ’im de cold bluff so straight
dat it went. See?
“De cop says, ‘Sneak ’em. outer here
quick,’ ’e says, an ’e gives de tip V de cop
on de door, while I chases out wid de tree
swells. De hack was outside, eu dey all
jumps ih, an I jumps on de box wid de
driver. All de way up t’ de club I heard
’em laughing inside, an when I got down t’
open de door for ’em ’is wiskers was tellin
’em not t’ give ’im erway t’ Miss Fannie.
“Den ’is wiskers says t’ me, ‘Chames,’ ’®
says, ‘yuse go home an keep yer mout shut,*
’e says.
“ ‘Yes sir,’ I says, an hands back de wad
t’ de sporty boy.
“ ’E looks at it an den at me, an ’e says,
‘Wot’s dis? Didn’t ye use it!’ says ’e.
“ ‘No,’ says I. ‘I squared it wid de sen«
ator’s pull,’ I says.
“When I tells ’em how I done it, dey all
gives me er great jolly, and de Boston mnjJ
gives me back de wad and says, ‘Chames,!
let dis be er lesson t’ yuse,’ ’e says, ‘an nev-f
er lead no innocent gents from Boston t’ da
Bowrey no more,’ ’e says, an dey all chases
in de club.
“Say, wot de ye tink dere was in dat wad?
Dere was 50 plunks! Dat’s straight—sQ
good plunks.
“De nex’ day I gives me friend de bar- ,
keep 25 plunks, cause dat’s wot de judged
fined ’im, an I was feelin pretty -good till .jj
got home, and den, bully gee! de ducnZU;
she jumped on me wid bote feet.
“Say, wot de yetink? Dewhole garnet,
give t’ Miss Fannie by ’er ijet dude wdß
heard it at de club. De dude meets MiJ|
Fannie on de street, an goes an tells ’er
whole fool yarn, an she pretendin all <K|
time dat she didn’t care, so de dude couldnß
have no laugh on Mr. Burton an ’is whiß|
kers. Ain’t she er turrowbred!
“Well, Miss Fannie sent fer me, anß|
gives ’er a great song an
de gents was only waitin t’ do de slurt®
and never meant t’ see no scrappin. W
dat de duchess gives me er wink wot msfl|
me want t’ laugh hard dat dere y®.-
weeps in me eyes, an Miss Fannie tinkijH
was cryin quit jawin me, and 1 chases
wid de duchess after me. She jumped®
me some, more an ’fore she let go I ha®|
cough up dat 25 plunks t’ ’er.
“Say, I ain’t playin in no luck
trouble wid me is I don’t
fer me. I had t’ go and chip in
sporty boy wanted to see er scrap.
“De next time dat Boston mug tackl®
me like dat I’ll give’im er scrap’stid dB
fetohin ’im t’ one. See?”—New York Sui®
ilc Might Then.
Fond Mother —Here’s something about ■
baby whose head measures 25 inches in ciiH
cumference. Is there any danger of ouH
darling being so deformed?
Skeptical T •Jher —No, dear, not unless tin?
kid could understand and believe all tho
things you say to him. —Pittsburg Bulletin.
Not Enough Boom.
Mrs. Crinoline (a few months hence)—
The stolid selfishness of men in street cars
is disgusting.
Her Husband—What’s happened? < , , I
Mrs. Crinoline—l entered a crowded streeH
car today, and only two men got up.—Nev®
York Week!} j®
Her Exclamation.
Servant—Step this way, Mr. Whizz. ■
Caller—Mr. What? My name is Jones. ®
Servant Your pardon, sir. When ■
handed your egrd to Miss Mollie, she saidß
“G. Whizz! Show him in.”—Bingham toj®
Leader.