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THE BINGVILLE BUGLE
The Lending Paper of the County
Bright, Breezy, Bellicose, Buttling
'HUftT UP THTl
tSYoRY OP.330C ATTD
'•mtl H.OA4. GRCaT
RIIAIMIIO.tHjUI- OT*
HBMAW fnvtfpjis*
M*S KARTKA.
Tuen.cn cnt-ueo
AT me o**VlC«i
AM2, »R«tnt«B
BAmitUCMS
WHICH IH£ Hot.
vL*«mt*c «>h
TH’tt •ruwrt'c
ricv*. ar
ntCKKAw’z WILL
cYeSAi» himeI nnfis eight mite be 7a.
MOWADAYa.’WJT ^THTtiH HTi VrtiWT TO ^CHOOt,
rnml Turns tUoht -was G7
i abltilng )
kMD Ml _
i «Ttry opanlof C*ar.
T1i« ebeipaat ■dvartiatBi median fa tba
Q^uotr. If fM bcltora la adrartlalaf coma
•M mi as. Tor farther laformatloa call at
or address tba editor.
Old Dad Henderson perdlcks
that w« will have a early spring
this spring, but tvhat does old Dad
Henderson know about whether we
will have a early spring or not?
He don’t know nothin and Dad
has demonstrated that he don’t
know nothing time and time again
when he gets to perdickting what’s
going to happen in the future.
Dad prides hisself on bein
powerful weather profit and he has
missed his perdickshuns so much in
the past that Bingvilie folks has
got In the habit of expecting jest
the contrary of what Dad says will
occur. For instance, when Dad
says we’re agoin to have a long
wet spell folks hereabouts gener
ally prepares for a drouth smd be
gins to economize in their use of
water, and if Dad says we’re agoin
to have a fair day, you will sec
Bingvilie folks carrying umbrellas.
Early last fall Dad said we was
agoin to have a open winter becuz
the goose bone was thin in the
flange, the baric wasn’t tight on
the trees, the squirrels wasn’t stor
ing away as many nuts as usual
and cows’ tails didn’t have as much
hair on them as customary. Well,
what is the result? The result is
that whereas Dad said we would
have a open winter we have had a
dose winter — it has been colder
than zero in Bingvilie for weeks
and everything is froze up tighter
than a bung.
Mel Sampson on the strength of
what Dad said only cut half as
much fire wood as lie otherwise
would of cut, and now Mel’s burned
up all his wood to keep from freez
ing to death and has to borrow
wood from his neighbors. Mel says
if Dad wasn’t so old and indigent,
he would give him a dog-blamed
jood walloping for misleading him
ike that and that only Dad’s gray
hairs save him, as you might say.
When Dad heard thi ‘
dickt where our next dollar on back
subscrlpshions is coming from.
Locals
It looks like rain or mow as we go
to press, we can’t make up our mind
which.
Ham Wilson got his hair cut at
Harve Hines, our tonsorial barber last
week. Why Ham would so and do such
a thing as that right in the winter time
is more than we can answer. He's
liable to ketch his deth of cold. Roomer
says that Ham ls‘in love with a widow
woman down Hardscrabble way and is
sprucing up some.
Mrs. Seth Dewberry, wife of our
lion hearted town constable, has re*
turned from a visit with Mrs. Hame
Miller of Mfllersville. Mrs. Dewberr
intended to remain to spend a weel
with Mrs. Miller, but they had a falling
out before Mrs. Dewberry got her wrapt
off, and as a result she got into her
pung and turned around and driv right
back home mad as a wet hen.
We haven't noticed that Brent Wii
Hams lias paid us that $2 on subserip*
tion which he promised last week he
Would pay this week. For a all-around
lpliilied liar Brent can knock the
spots offen anybody we know of in this
accompli
spots off
neighborhood.
Mist Emily Dewberry tried to start
the fire the other morning with kero
sene by putting abput a qt. on the fire
and it blowed up and caused great ex
citement for a spell. The fire depart'
ment was summoned, but did not re
spond prompt and so the fire was, put
out by hand.
Wes Woodruff says he ain’t doing as
well trapping skunks this winter at
usual Thau funny, Wes smells as if
he was making a success ketching
tkunks. '
Abe Witherow give Doe Livermore,
our talented horse specialist and alto
human doctor, a horse last week in
laymern for medical services rendered
n the past. The horse fell dead at Doe
was leading it home. Doc didn’t hold
no poat-mortim, but he calkilates it
must of had heart failure.
Miss Phronicia HHderbrand did not
sing in the choir at church last Sun
day. Ths reason was that Phronicia
had quiney and couldn’t ting. Miss Lulu
Andrews took Phronieia’s place in tha
if she
qubte^alao.
Lulu sung at
had tha
Smalley chewed up two plugs of
tobacco last week. Gid says he guesses
ths tobacco chawin habit is getting tha
belt of him, because he somehow don’t
feel familiar unless he hat a chaw in
his mouth.
Jason Tucker, chief of our fire de
partment, desires ns to say that it is
no use for citizens to summon tha lira
department at present owing to the fact
that the town pump i» froze up tighter
than a bung and no water to aquench
the flames with is to be had anywhere.
Please observe this.
Personals
few back copies of tl*
will sell for 5
Wa have
Bugle of 1778. which we
cts.. the regular price of which ia S ets.
each ner copv- This is s big bargain
considering that the news in these Bu
gles arc meller with age, as you might
foils Mllly Underwood is vfsitfng a
friend, whose name we did not learn, at
Sorrow Hollow as we go to preis.
There it not so much tickness in our
midst as there was and as a result Dave
White, our popular and accommodating
ertaker, Is a good cal down hearted
despondent Cheer up. Dave, bet
ter times will come for you. we hope.
Lafe Henderson of Zion Crossroads
that Met had
said this, he got madder than a
wet hen and pranced around the
stove in Hen Weathersby'* store,
and struck it with bis cane until
he broke his cane. Dad said he
wasnt SO spry as he used to be, „ a jd this office a call last week and left would think she was shiftiest if she
but he was still man enough to lick on ou r desk tsro Baldwin apples that eoaldn’t keep her husband’s pants
" ct tied j seemed as solid and fresh as if they patched # /or # hint. Sam said he'd be
just come offen the tree. Who can beat "
this for Baldwin apples this time of
the whiffletre* to break and a bolt flew
and hit Jim right between the eyes,
which was a tumble surprise to him.
Bill Mepbnro. our artfstlek black
smith, went to the Co. Seat last Satter-
day to get full as usual, but come home
sober. When Bill left Bingvilie lie had
a silver dollar in liis pocket to buy a|
qt. of rye with, but lost it outen a hole)
and calkilates lie never will find it
Deacon Underwood says It waa a jedg-
tnent sent on Bill for drinkin.
Our Sunday School is planning to
give several plrknieks next summer.
There js nothing like taking time by tho
forelock in such matters.
Mrs. Martha Tucker called at oun of
fice last week and presented us with a
bunch of seven dandelions which she
found blooming on the sunny side oi
Beckman’s Hill west of Bingvilie. Hovr
is this for a sign of spring?
We iiad the misfortune to spill Sev
eral news items after we had went and
got them act up in type for thla week’s
Bugle, consequently they do not ap
pear in print, being as we hadn’t time
to set them over again. It is turrible
discouraging to go and spill news items
and news items so seairse.
If you want to keep up with the times
read the Bingvilie Bugle.
Mr. and Mrs. Rill Simms are enter-
ining a welcome guest in their home
at present. It’s a girl and weighs 12
lbs. We regard this as a buster of a
girl. Bill is handing bis plug around
among tht boys and receiving congrat
ulations.
We was in error in stating that Hi
Cranby was on the sick Iht last week—
it was the week beiore. We would
never of knowed the difference if Hi
hadn't called our attention to it and
asked us to make the correction ip the
Bugle, which we cheerfully do.
Ahe Witherow went to the Co. seat
tolher day and brought home « load
of house furniture for Hen Weathers-
by. Abe also brought home a load of
iicker and lost one rocking chair on
the way, which hasn’t been found since.
Hen wants Abe to pay for ll
Country Correspondence
ELDERBERRY GAP
Hans Derfinger butchered a pig last
week which dressed 430 lbs. Who can
beat this for pig?
Adam Cutler Sundiyed with hit
brother, Jule Cutler, Over Horse Neck
way.
touit Alimanc caught hit hand In a
cornsheller last week, lacerating it bad
ly—the hand.
Beth Dobbins Is putting up ice for
Squire Brown. Seth stye he cut more
got a needle and thread and tome goods
and went to work at it. She set down
and Sam stood up till he got so tired he
was weak in rite knees. Finally, how
ever, Amelia got the pants patched and
she held a looking glass and told Sam
to took and see if he didn't think it
was a pretty good job to be did with
the pants on him. Sam said he thought
it was.
Well, no more waa thort about the
subjeckt until that night when Sam
Went td take off his pants to go to bed
lie found that his wife had sowed the
pants and all fast to his under drawers.
When lie told Amelia this she hollered
and laffed and this made Sam mad as
a wet hen, and the way he swore sva*
something awful. Sam says it’s a won
der that Amelia didn't sow them pants
fast to hisself. He made her patch ’em
right before he would go to bed.
Toothache for Reason
Reason Underwood suffered from
toothache turrible last Thursday. It
got so bad that he finally went to Doc
Livermore and asked Doc how much
he would charge to pull the tooth for
him. Doc said it ought to be worth a
quarter. Reason asked Doe if he would
pull it for IS cts. Doc finally raid that
bein' as it was Reason he would. Then
Reason hemmed and hawed and wanted
to know if Doc would do it for 10 ctK
Doc got mad and told him he wouldn't,
so Reason went hone with his tooth
aching worse'n ever. If« got »o desper
ate that he got a big stone which he
uses to prop open the door and tied one
end of a string to the tooth and tother
end to the stone, ana hinted the winder
and shut his eyes and throwed the
stone outen the winder, but the stone
went through the upper sash, breaking
three pains of glass and just mining
hitting Sim Gookins on the head, who
was passing ths house at the time. The
ig broke snd rhe aching tooth is
in Reaaon’s mouth, but it ia better
at thi* writing.
School Visited
Tha members of our school beard
consisting of Cy Hoskins, Deacon But-
terworth and Lem Brown, visited our
school last Friday afternoon to note
what progresa the scholars is making,
if any. Jed Peters, our intelligent
school teacher, give them all seats and
then pereeeded to call up the classes to
show the board how much he has
learnt the pupils. The achool board ex
pressed tneirislves as much pleased
ice last Saturday than he ever did in pressed themselves as much pleased
one dav in his life. ,with the recitations. Deacon uutter-
The Bugle Is a welcome weekly vis- worth *^*d little Tommy Barker how
itor to this place. They are four regu
lar subscribers in our midst and two
others thinkinr seriously of taking it.
Andrew White drove to Blackburn
on busineSi Thursday.
Snide Emmons has been going over
to Pea Ri-tge every Saturday night
regular. What’s the attraction over
that way, Snide?
81C SEMPER TYRANN.
Joke on Sam
The ether day Sam Skinner’s wife.
Amelia, noticed that Sam's pants wa*
wore put It) the scat. Sh* spoke shout
it to Sspt and wanted to fix them right
away, but it didn’t worry Stm any, and
so he said to let it go until be took the
>ants off some time, being as be htd
hem on at tht time. But if there is
anything that worries Amelia it is to
sc* a man’* pants wore out. She told
Sam the waa ashamed to have him go
out of the house, being the neighbors
would think she was shiftless if
Mel with both hands and feet
behind him.
Perdickting weather Is almost st g,,
uncertain as for us as editor and!’ j m Hill, while sledding logs In the
prop of the Bingvilie Bugle to per- woods last week for Sim* Peters, had but she'd do the best she could, so sh« selves.
pa , . . _ .
Mamed if he'd take them pants off, and
if sh* could patch them on him to go
ah-ad and do it Amelia said aha never
tried to pitch a man’s pant; on him.
many two and two was and Tommy
antwered ’’Four!’’ almost as quick as
scat. Cy Hoskins then asked little Mar
tha Gookins how much nine times eight
is and Martha saya 67 and Cy patted
her on the head and told her that was
correct and that she was a turrible
smart litll* girl for her site, Jed then
interrupted Cy and told him that nine
timet tight wasn't 67, but 72, and Cy
wanted to know what business it wa* of
Ted’s to tell him, a man twice as old at
he (Jed) was how many timet nine
times right waa Cy said he didn’t per
mit any whipper snapper of a school
teacher to tell him now many nine [ ab-iu i, jit *r*«*
times eight is. Cy said nine times rich*fit mmv •>«
might be 72 nowadays, but when he
went to ichoel nine times eight was 67
and he would (honk Jed Peters to tend
strickly to hi* own business when the
school board was visiting the school.
The beard then took their departure.
Have Your Pipes
Busted on you?
I dealra to *lra sotlea to tba jr*n«rml public*
tbit la addUbton to fancy blaektmitblog I am
al*o a plumber, and (f jou bar* watrr
pi pea ia yoar beuM that rroaso and burat ©*
yon, call on mo for help and I will repair
aama without delay at rvaaooabla rataa. I
don’t do much plumbing oxcapt la wtatar tlma,
watrr pipoo bumf, but wbaa wa baro a
cold Map X am allot • food aal la daaaaad, and
all I can say Is I wish ws
would have more
cold snaps.
riusiMaf ta a paying bnalntaa If ym e aa g«f
enuN ef «.t t . Why Iff a hnute-rt prtpw
apatfer water all over the kltckea
whan X ran flx it for yon? If you baa* aay-
tbtog Ilka tbta happen, aummon ma at me*
and I will re*pond prompt.
Don't a*k the price I will charge rnitff
altar the Job la did, becui tbero won't b<* tlaao
to dlptuu that wblla the water ptpo it leaking.
I will rbarga yoo by tba hour or by tba Job,
a wording at I too At. 1 am tha ONLY!
plamktr In Illn*vlllr acd da—two yaot
patr-wagr. Too will And ia« at ary blarkootitt
ffr ri«v to ff.A w.wir fv-ept Sattardaya
and ffupdafi. I tuoally go to tba Co. aaat m
Satterday on business,
and I ailus take Sunday
as a day of rest
after It
Yoora for fancy blackamlthtnc and ptamMns*
WagrtKe. BILL UEFBXTMX.
I
Have You Forgot That I
(Phoebe HHderbrand)
Am Still In tha Dressmaking
Business?
Sprite It »•* ipprePrSUZ •»* «
t» tklak •*•»» S*tlM <•**<*•
■aharrltt. I. «*<• Drihuslur i
of fuSlM l> PfCw t» Sftp
M IS. 1»»«» «t7>» *1 dnwM.
I iu<i Amelia Twkrr, <wr n -enlr
at k.bhln aklvt rr.lj Hit ,
• hMt It. Wh-n
irn.
rug!
iffice and trying to inculcate new ideas
ids of those intrusted to his
in the heads I
care, and who it it hit sacred duty to
teach the truth to. Jed atill slicks to
it that nine tin i, ef’t it 72 and -"vs
if anvhody don’t believe it just let them
up nine eights and see for their-
„„ A men* mm Uw —If pII-mPi-o .a.
to it f> l»«t it* «•••! t«ke v*rj '«■» ft'p».
It tooa hr tfc*»e-...PtpT» of n knar
witk rum tor k*«t l» Ik. il-o-h. kkl-b
imlp pkppt P tlyktk at A ml " )**/■ SI 11 —
; M to skirts tat Isdi-, -ulto so
town* * tom colt* at wut*.
Gall and see the latest styles
nta gnarantffj- I bar* i»fT*r yat nada A
far anybody didn’t ka«a *
Your* I t faiblncab* sltrfawaklag.
ruonor mild meant*
kon at Mia fa—,