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THE MAGAZINE PAGE Daysey. May me and Her Folks THE JOY OF BEING ADAM. By FRANCES L. GARSIDE. IT is a wonder -that the scientists, and those alarmists who pose as > such, have never noted the pern:- , , clous effects of . <s .line. This commonly use article ha most deleterious effi ct on human be- . Ings. When taker, in whiff from theit »wr .atom. bil« - it sp°edilj reduces j their mental ability to that of a mum- I my. It impairs the memory! After a '* man or woman has taken thest whiffs from hie or her nun car for as Inns .is six weeks, not a vestige of memory remains. /' Tn Illustrate When the Appletons owned a buggy with a flat who'| t which they drove i spavined horse, and ' Bi asked a friend to go riding thr-•< weeks I from next Monday 'hev appear'd with the buggv with the flat wheel and the I spavined horse prompt!' - on time. Now that they own an .automobile, if ? they ask a friend to go -iding tomor row, thev havi forgotten ere the suq sets today that pitch an >ng.agenvnt was ever made • Daysey Mayme Appleton, who takes . everything in its most aggravated : form, from measles t<> love, finds-her ’ memory so badly impaired that she for [ gets not only her friends, but her own f father. "I am not sorry.” he said, when the | ear had left without him. 'The inci dent selves as further proof of the .Toy of Being Adam. There were no auto- .mobiles in 1 : da - |k “Adam,” he continued, ‘.'missed many of the torment, of today. How many ■anen are-told everv night by their com plaining wives, '1 wish you could be in W shoes for Just one Lr !' Adam never heard it, for the r< -.on that Kv. didn’t wear any. The Good Old Days. "When Adam gave his wife a present r there were no kin or neighbors to suspect, it was a peace offering. L "He never came home from work so F tired that he could trip on a pin. to be met with the demand from his wifi that I he dress up and take her into society. “He did not break hts finger nails l hooking her dress up the back, like the. hookworm the man of today has be . eome, and he did not haw big dr< s- [ making hills for his wife, while his own clothes were fit for nothing on earth hut | to go blackberrying in. ft "Neither did he ever wear such neg ■; leeted looking ■ loth' ■ that ho looked ' like a hook the baby has played with. P. “He never Ip-td toi.-nn in the spring S. . to estimate that he had eaten fifteen | ' yards of bacon and a carload of fried potatoes in the winter past, his wife I having too little time left from soci. I tv’s demands to cook anything < ho. “There were no parlors in his days, consequently no parlor lounge, and con sequently no cushions on which ho tried J 7 > to rest his weary head only to'be re minded that they are ton show, not for I use. I “He did not t-.t irve tn death trying to be a satisfactory host at a dinner ta j ble; neither did he rattb down to posthumous fame .... 'Evi's husband.' I “His wife made no jealous inquiries j Into bls past. Then being no bats ( f those days, he w.c pared the question ■ that always greet ■ the modern hu • hand when he picks up his hat. And I L that question 1-. 'When are you go- | | Ing?’ “His clothes took up no room in the - I Closet and he becatm a model husband | W in one shining particular without es 1 No Wife m Curl Papers Ji-- "He never -aw Ev. with hairpins fr. . her mouth! And bis !>v w a st-ircd the disillusion of a w if. in • nr' : £'- “His wife never comp’..deed that hr- ; | had to 'pl< k up' after him. Xml b< ' ; never had cold chills isr.i bv ben . compelled to give Ev hardarn. d I money, knowing In w ould cri y it I carelessly tn a pocketbook. and have - it on the flrot count. :- li. i. i.-hed S “Eve never attended m. . ting- called I I to discuss The s•< 'Cs'o -- ~f th. Men.' . ’£ and her 'manner of . ..m . into t>> , j world effectually barrel i from tin j I te privilege of bo, tine about h.-r kin ” , Eysander John stopped ami slg'md ; Necessarily ther. w is • inch in Tv .1 >\ | | of Being Ada; that : v. . Th. Sorrow j 1 of Being Lys iirkr .1 ■' t I ■ With the thought • • . -nt .-nobii. ■ In mind, and tn. -t rur.r.mg and the growing < xtrav lean- . -f w n 1 en of today, he concluded • "And Eve never w.. w -man w a thought it risri.t f r . n. t 8. egg for making a <k. ' jf Nadine Face Powder {ln Green Boxes Only.) 1 Alak-.-s the Complexion Bcautiiu! Soft and Velvety / zurA’ ' s / \ It • Z *?F-\ Harmless '* I ■- \ Q 4 Afo*o'■ '■ > > r f Ils. >- ’' Cz ■ / Tbe sost ’ xi W’teai / a Pr ri ’-'’ •' ».■ . \”>’ 7-.'<. / der is waile.l . Purified by 4 r.i > »unburn and return of discolorations, the increasing popularity is wonderful White, Flesh, Pink, Brunette. By toilet counters or mail. Price 50 cents. NATIONAL TOILET COMPANY. Paris. Im. From the factory direct to you. This means, quality ! considered, best Piano val ues for the least money. CABLE PIANO CO., 84 North Broad-st. < o<] Love’s Labor Lost Coprcght. ild-. AaliCLal hews Aesc-ttation — By Nell Brinkley [x> | i . - : - —1 Ty -.c.-.j-t: 7 ®O: ' . - ' A 4 ,a jWpfr^ l Mb r’'”V " " ;7 'W llfc ■ 11A A' J wife'' • ■'l™ w. L ■■ Jk* ■ ? Wff 1 ,' ! . TT" Bre s' X* > -'I i - ' “T'E ; ■■■ ' « ■■ cOmA a.". Vs. "C . ■ :v7... 1 .--: .cr.r ■’ s *' ' ' J _ _....... ■ '• * Even Cupid Can Be Fooled bv a Maid with a Heart of Stone, 1 he Manicure Lady By WILLIAM F. KIRK. J HAITI .in.-1 came bark from a i I trip | ( > the count'.. said th? .Minutin I.mly '‘Goodness ! ”*>" ■i yr I hatto ■.< vi- it. Tl" tmmimry i pie always maki-.-you f‘ < .-• ■ at batne. Tb*rc ain't any taxi ■ .it' tlu'ri . ur any sy ksi capers. or any ai<h. i; i.t the corner, but the home cool nr; >. ■x> client, ami you can get lie I■ i ■ countrv air you want, .Ami think ot .11 them little flashes In tin l.ttji brooks, ano the flora fauna in thi tiers, George " 111 bet you don't know what flora i'aii'i.i i . kiddo," ?aid the skeptical | H ’ad Barber. ' It i.» some- kmd of trectoa;!, George." i • i cd tin Manicure Lu v "They are it!" fuimi'-t. little tiling you ever i ■• 11 The landlord's son found one for ■ d br. > \\ dfred. It was green. ■ • t'iey couldn't see it among the j leaves if they wanted to shoot it. The I amilord .m w.i never in the city, 'ai d lin't smart like us folks, w awful kind. 11" showed me T ■ •■ ■ d ,11 over tin p!.i ■ i>m of ' " dm: he showed u. was a running I animal called a wampus. He cd that it always lived on a side lull ■" , a t o’ trn- fact. <;< urge, t bnt its '. ' right bgs 'was sir ' • than its ' - ill’ ■ Ami he explained that ' ' :iil the time on tin right of the 1h 11 tlway s had to walk t . ' a<l. He - iid it couldn't : ■ ' > "ii.d, .. >it kept walking." "I’m ■ ted you a;i that’.’" inquired • • grinning IL id Barber. "t b: i >ti. y . >•!. i le.'rge, and I t ' • i 1 .• tor yon to be grill ’d: co .-I t It one of them ’ am ■> lad; wants to be nice ■' oik that has had morel i 1 •him. and mere education. ’ d '■'.■■!. " r. ■me ■ t r out' bus mess ' 1 • : ‘ I’m of him. " 'h’i' thing hr showed me and ' -l-i imanl spring. He said «ih< water tn if isky. and that in d tp sulphur and 1 nd. thr w ays that i g < are of them in- j there- You see. I ’’A'.md ’o'ahlJ n's like wo can, so j | Xatu • ■ 'OV them just 'like ; 1 the 1 ■ '' ' - ■ i-t t. king y>u | nmg ab. mt ■ ■ . • w--i.lt iiink you wits a- ■i ; ■ 'i.i fellow that showed us ay. . ■ • •here." "1 don't bl . ■ - ■ grinning." de. i glared the H- R irber • ’v. as' stringing you ' "You're dippy" . > -r.-.i the Mani cure Eady "Ini'' anybody from a Small town string ■ ; a city girl." I ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN * By Beatrice Fairfax ]| BY NOT WANTING IT. Dear Miss Fairfax: I have know n a man for three years, with whom I am deeply in love. I used to think he loved me. but. lately I can not understand his aetions toward me. I am acquainted with his sister, and when I go to see her and h“ is there he ti'i'it.- me vi'i'y nicely and walks home with me. T alwavs ask him to cal! and he always savs, "Yes," but.never comes. Could you tell me ht>w to win his love? BEATRICE O. Don't go to see his sister; if by any chance you see him, don't ask him to call. If he asks to call, plead a prom is'd engagement and let him ask a. sec ond ti ro . And don't,.dear, feel badly if he never comes back. You deserve a man who loves without coaxing, and this man is not that kind ASK FOR AN EXPLANATION. Dear Miss Fairfay: I am 24 and have been deeply in love with a young lady four years older than myself. - have known each other over three’ veils. For two years and a half wo have been engaged. Eight months ago we did not write each othrt as often as usual and she soon stopped Stories About Words; 1 It las been decided by Australian magistrates that eggs are not "mis- , ■• ■ " Yet S:i James Murray define: . ■ t missile as anything "capable of being thrown from the hand or from a ma chini or engine." Egg are capable of bein ; thrown. "Missies," like "villain." a w ■ hi originally pleasing and re- ■ !<■ tabb that has changed for the worse in the course of the centuries. "Misi-ilia" were the sweets and per fum- .■ thrown by the Roman emperors among the peop lv . and a "missile" afid t "mission" are only things sent. "Ballot" and. "Suffrage" show how | ■ language perpetuates the memory of I primitive emthods. A "ballot" should j :He a vote taken with balls one of the i v iri.' i- ancient Greek instruments of -■•ent vaiing. And the word "-us-l i frage." which by some is derived from j lUffrnvii." a. knickle bone or ankh : • -m. in that case recalls an early ; j method of recording the vote. In early times "blackguard" was b'. , no mean.'- a term of reproach, but re ferrei'l to the lowly but honorable priv- .•-go f carrying coal in the king's ; | household. writing at all. I have written the last three letters, but have received no an swer. HOPEFI’L LYNX. These half-engagements are n. v<". desirable. If she dues not write, and shows no apprehension when you don't, she no longer cares for you. Go to hev and ask for your relations to he estab lished on the old tooting, or broken off. Either would be rtiore just to you than this dilly-dallying. HIS TEMPER NOT THE BEST. Dear Miss Fairfax: I am seventeen .and have made the acquaintance of a. man six months my senior. We have been very intimal' until a short while ago. when 1 invited him to my home and then had to post pone the engagement. Since then he has treated me very coolly. How can I win his affection back again? DISAPPOINTED. If he grows angry and sulks on such small provocation, can voft persuade fycicciUM'iictf! Against “ Against s Substitutes ••• Imitations Get the Well-Known |LJ| 4TW iOE II Ik* Round Package f SHL MALTED MILK Made in the largest, best equipped and sanitary Malted p,an * in the world We do not make “miZfcprodMcfs— A. Skim Milk, Condensed Milk, etc. But thc Original-Genuine HORLICIK’S malted milk Made from pure, full-ercam milk and the extract of select malted grain, reduced to poxvder form, soluble in k water. Best food-drink for ail ages. malted J FOR HORLICK’S Used all over the Globe I vourself that a marriage to such a man : would, result m.happiness? If he i ’.ang'v. let him stay angry until he gets over it. Don’t apologize, don't coax, don't be humble. Make him realize In is in the wrong. ■ and that you don't like the way he acts. PERHAPS HF. IS UNABLE TO WRITE. Dear Miss Fairfax. I am sixteen and 'lately made the i, lua'intam.b •!'a man of about twenty. Recently he weitt on a visit, and he sent me , ards while away, telling me hr would 1" home on a certain day. He told ine not to wrife until I heard from Idin. Later I went to a ball and saw his brother there, who told mo my friend was> sick. Now. do you think-he . -:,s tor me, as I haven't heard from hi>e ' FRANCES J. A man who is sick physically rs never love-sick at the same time, and no . doubt his iline os'h as driven qll thought of you out of JiisSriind. Don't misjudge him if you do not h-ar from him. If .—WMB i. l Wl :l i'HU « . I RIWtU' J' ■' W-—»'» ■.■llß'JJ he recovers and never writes, make up your mind to forget him A girl of sixteen has too many opportunities ahead of her to mourn over one man. | J? de l/l r//j7 \ O 0 1 'Y ESSHS3SSTOt o, o 0 o Bz Anty Drudge on the Farm. Zifrs. Farmer—“l ’spose all you fine city folks are ’way ahead of us who live in the country.” Anfy £>rwdge—‘‘Goodness, no. Mrs. Farmer. I see you use Fels-Naptha; your hands are white and you have plenty of time for reading and music. You can’t get ahead of the woman who uses Fels-Naptha, whether she lives in the country or city. ” » Do women cling to delusions longer than men? That’s an open question. In (Tina, men do the washing and they have been d-oing it in the same old way for 4,000 years. In America more than a million women have broken away from the old fashioned traditions, and have adopted the Fels-Naptha way of washing. That means cold or lukewarm water —never hot —no boiling, no hard rubbing, a saving of time, temper, trouble, fuel, clothes and health. ** Follow directions on the red and green wrapper. Gettine On In Life NO. 4—WRITING ENGLISH. By THOMAS TAPPER. The popular custom of keeping a di ary is a useful one, even if the boolt when filled is never to be printed. Its usefulness consists in this: That the habit of writing something every day. even if it is not more than a report about the weather, leads to exactness. And if the writer has any pride, It will lead not only to exactness, but to neat ness, and certainly to regularity of ac tion. Practice writing is not foolish, par ticularly if your alm is to improve your use of English. Few people know how hard it is for well known authors to produce a page of writing that reads easily. Charles Dickens went over every sentence he wrote time and time again, and his manuscript was full of erasures and additions. Buffon, the French naturalist, wrote one of his books fif teen times, not by means of a typewrit ing machine, hut with his own hand. Some authors have made it a custom to carry a note book and Jot down any thought they care to consider again. From the note book they found matter for their writing. The fact is. few great writers have written easily. They have had to grasp the thought whenever it came, to jot it down in the rough, and then to polish and perfect it afterward. They work exactly as a man does who is carding a figure from a piece of marble. He suc ceeds because he keeps on chipping the marble with his hands, and watching the model in his mind all the while. You may never be obliged to do much writing, but if you want to be a clear thinker, you can at least do this: Write out from memory what you remember about a chapter you have been reading. Or, take a newspaper article you like, read it two or three times, put it aside, and then try to write it out in the shortest form you can. Benjamin Franklin, born in February. 1706. was a master hand at this kind of writing. Ho 'tells us in his autobiogra phy exactly how he did it: I mot with an odd volume of the SPECTATOR. It was the third. I had never before seen any of them. I bought it, read it over and over, and was much delighted with it. I thought the writing excellent, and wished, if possible, imitate it. With this view I took some of the papers, and. making short hints of the sentiment in each, sentence, laid them by a few days, and then, without looking nt the book, tried to complete the papers again, by ex pressing each hintfif sentiment at length, and as fully as it had been ex pressed before, tn any suitable words that should copie to hand. Then I com pared my SPECTATOR with the origi nal, discovered some of my faults, and corrected them. Rut I found I wanted a stock of words, of a readiness in rec ollecting and using them, which I thought I should have acquired before that time if 1 had gone on marking verses; since the continual occasion for words of the sam° import, but of dif ferent length, to suit the measure, or if different sound for me rhyme, would have laid me under a constant necessity of searching for variety, and also have tended to fix that variety in my mind, and make me master of it. Therefore. I took some of the tales and turned them into verse: and, after a time, when I had pretty well forgotten the prose, turned them hack again. I also sometimes jumbled my collection of hints into confusion, and after some weeks endeavored to reduce them into the best order, before I began to form the fun sentences and complete the pa per. This was to teach me method in the arrangement of thoughts.