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THE QEOiaaiAWS MAGAZINE, PAGE Daysey Mayme and Her Folks Bv FRANCES L. GARSIDE. There ar* times In every man'* Ilf* when ho would like to an out on the center of a wild, lonely prarle and how 1, and howl, and howl. But environment, tradition and cus tom will not .permit It H» must And vent for hl.« feelings by kicking his shoes under the bed, or saying. Oh. hang it all!” in a very ladylike voice. The Fathers club, organized by Ly sander John Appleton last fall, soon disbanded. The members couldn’t think of anything to say that was fool ish enough to attract attention, and grew discouraged because of the great er attention given the Mothers club Since then Lysander John has be longed to no organization but church, and. feeling the need of knowing other lonely men who are shut tn at night while their wives and daughters pursue the wrongs of their sex at club meet ings. he has decided to organize a Shut- In society, the members to be men who are left alone as he is. Following in the footsteps of other prominent club organizers, he has orig inated a great many reasons why the Shut-In men. denied the sympathy of their wives and daughters, should enjoy the sympathy of one another. These he will have printed In gold and mail to all the husbands whose wives assist Mrs. Appleton in saving the world. "It has often occurred to every Shut- In man,” he begins, "that he hasn't had any sympathy since the days his father carried a strap and led him off to the bam. "The women." he added, "claim they acquired patience through having to put up with us men, but they didn't. If they have any they acquired it when passing through the interim between instalments of continued stories in the magazines." Waxing eloquent on his wrongs, he plunged into his subject, getting as much ink on his fingers as If he had been a literary lady. "Thera ia an impression abroad that when a man scolds at home he has nothing to scold about Never Bick at the Right Time. "When he falls sick be forfeits the little sympathy he might hope to get by getting sick at the wrong time. It is always Just when the dressmaker Is due, or the house cleaning has begun, or ’'hen invitations ar* sent out for a party. He IS never sick at the time most convenient for his family, and they act as If he were to blame. ' if he amounts to anything, his wife gets the credit, and no more account Is taken of him than If he were a clothing store dummy. "Every time he gets a new chair or picture for his office his wife is re minded that she wants it for the house, and anything on its last legs at the house Is considered fit for the office. He has so many bills to pay that by the time he Is well off tn this world he is well on toward the next, and can't get any enjoyment out of his money. "No man is such a hero that he can carve In a manner that satisfies his wife, and if his treatment of her guests is ever without fault, then it is time for him to prepare for his heavenly home. For such perfections will not be permitted to linger long in this wicked world. “After he has passed sixty, he be gins to look like an old house with a 'For Rent' sign on it, and the front gate hanging by one of its hinges. And no woman loves him enough to notice his desolation. "Because of this exile to Lonesome Land, I call on all the Shut-In Men to organize. It will be something worth while to know, while we play soli taire, and keep guard over the dog and the cat, that other brave men are doing the same, and thinking of us kindly. We must arise like men, and stand up for our rights!" Lysander John is much In earnest tai this desire to bring the comfort of sym pathy to other Shut-Tn Men. but may not be able to mall his circular let ters for some time. The call to other brave men to stand up for their rights Is delayed because Mrs. Appleton will not let him have money for the postage. Danderine Makes your hair grow long, heavy and luxuriant and we can prove it Get a 25 Cent Bottle Now and Forever Stop Falling Hair, Itching Scalp and Dandruff Hair Becomes Soft, Fluffy. Lus« trous and Abundant After a Danderine Hair Cleanse Danderine is to the hair what fresh showers of rain and sunshine are to vegetation. It goes right to the roots, invigorates and strengthens them. Its exhilarating, stimula ting and life-producing properties cause the hair to grow abundant!v long, strong and beautiful. It at once imparts a sparkling brilliancy and velvety softness to the hair, and a few weeks’ use will cause new hair to sprout all over the scalp. Use it every day for a short time, after which two or three times a week will be sufficient to complete whatever growth you desire. Immediately after applying a little Dan derine all dandruff will disappear, all itching of the scalp will cease and there will be no more loose or falling hair. If you wish to double the beauty of your hair in ten minutes surely try this—moisten a cloth with a little Danderine and draw it carefully through your hair, taking one small strand at a time, this will cleanse the hair of dust, dirt or any excessive oil—ln a few moments your hair will be wavy, fluffy and abundant and possess an incomparable soft ness, lustre and luxuriance, the beauty and shimmer of true hair health. If vou care for beautiful, soft hair and lots of it surely get a 25 cent bottle of Knowl ton's Dadderine from anv drug store or toilet counter —A real surprise awaits you. «| 'rhe Lovers of the World -:- -:- -;- By Nell Brinkley [» <Sopyrtgfit. 1012, National New» Association />t A- II ( \ \ wC) t 'A. ( ' ■■ ' -• 'A- !'<&■ •• 4 Vjif ■ Z v A' x {(J fELEN OF TROY"—do we t 1 we ever hear or read that name without the dreams come thick and fast? Dreams of fair countrysides, blue seas and wind-scoured skies, tem ples made blue and white tn light and shadow by the strong south sun. tall maids with sandals lashed on their high-arched feet running in the games, or listening to whis pered love stories with black heads leaned against cool marble and shoulders mottled with shadows of slow-swaying cypress tree; dreams of whistling sword and the sun glinting on bristling fields of spears, the thunder of chariot wheels, and the singing of clouds of arrows leaving the bow as the wind sings in' a mighty' forest when the rain is not far off. the clang of sword on sun-smitten shield, Greece's youth, gold-maned, war-mad or crumpled 'neath the restless, loud crying waves of battle; many col ored creams of Love and its dar ing, the hearts it burns out, and the youth who follows its fatal call ing; dreams of the fair women who JnlrwM L. OlsSf 1J V W ftfßl live only In the dim corridors of one’s thoughts; the one dream of that golden woman, Helen of Troy, whose shape Is but a dim and glim mering glory In one's mind because of its splendid beauty, just as a handful of marvelous gems held in the sun are hidden by their own glitter and gleam; dreams of the drowsy shepherd who left his hap piness behind on the wild hills of Ida; and then maybe, if you are a man. and dreaming is still sweet to you. that dream within a dream, comes the woman to-be, whose face, for you. “would launch a thousand ships and burn the topless towers of Ilium." Listen now to the telling of the happy days of Paris, the shepherd, of his following Love's fateful call ing down into Sparta land, his trials, of hfs flight with Helen, of the ending of his dream, of his death on Ida's slopes, and of the living on of Helen, untouched by tragedy. Paris was the son of Priam, king of Troy, and when he was born his mother dreamed a dream from which the oracles foretold that through this prince should ruin fall on Ilion. So then his mother loved him no more. And Priam, his fa ther, sent him. with one of his shepherds, to be left out upon the hills of Ida. But the rain, and the dew, and the winds, and the sun of five long days brought no death sleep to the tiny Greek, but the blood into his cheeks and the laugh ter into his eyes, and the shepherd's heart warmed, and he knew, said he. "that the gods never meant him to die." so he took him to his hearth for his own. As he grew he was straight, and strong, and kind, and beautiful, and faithful with the flocks; he was skilled tn games, and hie music was a thing to linger for. For long years he drove the sheep on the wild hill-fields of Ida, and filled the deep pine forests with his singing. Then one day. his fa ther-king. who believed his little prince safe dead, thought a most kind thought! He would give a feast to the gods so that poor Paris might have peace In the dark coun try of Hades So he sent to the slopes of Ida for a bull from among his herds, to give to the victor of Joyful News Easter sessions In the law courts of 1 a certain Irish town were in full swing , But on the third day a dreadful calam ity occurred. The court crier was ab- I sent. "Well, we must endeavor to find a sub. stitute." remarked the judge Just as they were in the middle of an exciting case, a breathless messen ger boy came In. and handed a letter to the Judge. The latter read it. and , j then announced to the court. I have a message from our court , 1 'Tier. He says: Wife’s mother died I i last night. Wil! not be able to cry to- i I day!' " I the Games. And the one they chose was that one which Paris had made his own and loved the best. So, in his wrath and tears, the sturdy' boy followed the servants and his pet to Ilion, and, blind with rage, he fought in the Games, and—won! His brother tried to kill him. but his sister cried that it was Paris who had been left to die on Ida, and when he know his story, the shepherd's heart turned black with grief within him, and back he went with his again won pet at his heels, to the flocks and the pine forests of Ida. And when the grief w ashed a lit tle out of his heart and the sun was good to him again, a dream fell upon him, for he saw. and wooed, and won Oenone, the daughter of the River God Cebrenus. And this was the happiness of Paris. Now, down in Phthia. there was great feasting of gods and men, for Fe leus had won Thetis, a maid of the deep sea. for his wife And all the gods were there but Discordia. And her ugly face they didn't want where there was all aughter and beauty. So that piqued ugly one thought hard, and thought away of ven geance, Into the midst of the feast she flung a golden apple, and across its sheen was written. "For the fairest " And here then was an uproar. Three goddesses stretched a white hand for it and quarreled. Minerva desired it. Juno coveted it above all things. Venus smil ingly took it for her right. "For." sasy she. "the stars danced in heaven when I was born, for my very beauty." But Jupiter thun dered his order that the three goddesses take the gold apple to the hills of Ida, and there Paris, the fairest of all men. should give it to whom he would. So here begin the trials of Par is. So to the hills of Ida and to Paris with his flocks came these royal three. Juno offered him power. Minerva gravely offered him wisdom and strength and hap py days. But Venus slipped close to the shepherd and bribed him with "The fairest of all daughters of men for a wife." But Paris laughed aloud at this "I need not that, he said, "for a fairer wife ROYAL BAKING POWDER Absolutely Pure The only Baking Powder made from Royal Crape Cream ofTartar NO ALUM, NO LIME PHOSPHATE than Oenone can no man ever have. Yet thou art the fairest daughter of all the gods, and so I give thee the apple of gold." So now lay on Ilion the wrath wf Juno, Minerva and ugly Discordia. Now, faraway in Sparta Discor dia brought famine and dark days. And the gods told Menelaus, the king, that not until the bones of the children of Prometheus were brought from Ilion would there be plenty. So to Priam's kingdom < ante Menelaus, and there he saw Patis, whom he straight loved for his beauty and strength. Rich he promised to make him if he would go with him to Sparta. So Paris, the shepherd prince, be lieved. and. kissing his smiling riv er nymph good-bye, he sailed with Menelaus to Sparta land. And there he saw HELEN. Helen of Troy, the wife of Menelaus. Gold and white she was. and deep eyed and full lipped, her face so great a marvel that men forgot all other things but the sweetness of living within sight of her flut tering,. gold-bordered robe. And Paris forgot the slopes of Ida and the pine woods, and the flocks, and he forgot Oenone and all his lov ing of her. So Venus and Discor dia wove round his heart the tan gling web of Love. And one day when Menelaus was gone far for a little while, these two. Helen and Paris, the shepherd, fled down the rocks to the blue water and over the sea to Ilion. And there they lived in the house of Priam, the father of Paris. Paris' spear and shield hung idle and unburnished on the wall And high on the hills of Ida Oenone watched her bright tears slip Into the water of Cebre nus. So down upon fair Ilion fell the great hosts of Menelaus; the sea was black with ships; men crowded in swarms over the high white walls of Troy. Priam fell under the sword in his own great hall; here Hector died. Juno and Minerva loomed mighty in the ar my of Menelaus, and for Troy came no help from Venus, the merryma ker Paris tek down hl« spear and shield and went into the battle, but his heart and his body had turned < oward. and he gave no help to the weary Trojans. Troy died under the sword, her w hite towers, crum bled and boiled in dust to the sky. and in the fire of her burning fell to naught the dreams of Paris. The shepherd fled, and as he ran an arro wof Philoctotes winged Its way into his side. He plucked it out and flung it far. but its poison spread, and he hurried with limbs trembling and breath growing short and a coldness creeping on him to the hillside of Ida. where he had watched his sheep. And here Oe none held him close till he had died. So goes the way of men and maids even now. And back to Sparta with Mene laus went Helen, the perfect, gold en and white, unblamed, untouch ed. unremembering. ~ .. 7 p .11 ' WO Make Faust Spaghetti the chief dinner dish one night each week Do this for the pleasure it will give the whole family. Do it for the wholesome nourishment contained in a dish of FAUST BRAND MACARONI And for economy’s sake, for Faust Spaghetti l most perfectly takes the place of expensive meats. Faust Spaghettis made from Dururn wheat—richest in the elements that build Xip the body and supply energy. It is made' in kitchens that are spotlessly clean carefully packed in odor-proof, damp-proof and dust-proof packages. It comes to you delightfully fresh and clean Write for our free book of recipes. 5c and 10c packages. MAULL BROS., S* Louis, Mo. The Manicure Lady By WILLIAM F. KIRK. t e-j-y HERE was an awful funny man I in here to have his nails did this morning. George,” said th* Manicure Lady. "He has a new kind of talk he has invented, like hog Latin, only different. He told me that his name was Gus Chapeau, or some such name, only he called himself s-Gus in stead of Gus. He said: 'S-ain't it a s-fine s-day?' and a lot of other things that don't sound funny unless you take them home and try them on the piano. In other words, George, you have s-got to s-practlce a s-whlle. I think It’s lots of fun.” The Head Barber regarded her pity ingly. "I am sorry for you, kiddo," he said. "I think you must be losing your mind, to pay any attention to that kind of junk. Talk English when you talk, even if you don't talk it none too good.” "S-what!" cried the Manicure Lady. "You don't mean to s-tell me. s-George, that my English ain't s-better than yours. I don't know this new' talk well enough, George, to bawl you out proper in it. but don't you never dare to tell me that my regular English ain't reg ular. You got a nerve. Why. George, there is times that I almost weep when I hear you trying to talk to a customer that has had many advantages in them walks of life in which most of us has been in. Don't never dare to poke fun at my gramamr again. You talk awful bad grammar. “All I started out to tell you was that the funny talk this Mister Cha peau brought in was that contagious that he had all the girls talking It in no time. On the square. George, it's all I can do now to keep from talking it. 1 am doing my best, but it’s hard.” "Just as I told you before.” said the Head Barber sadly. “I am afraid you are losing your mind." "I ain't no such thing." said the Manicure Lady. "Just listen to this sentence and after I have said it the new way, you say it the old way if you can. I'll dare you to. Now. listen; " 'S-Mary s-had a s-little s-lamb.’ Now, you sa.v it in regular English." The Head Barber seemed puzzled. “What are you trying to do?" he de manded. "Are you trying to kid me ?■" "No. George." said the Manicure La dy. as she repeated the sentence again in her own version. "S-now you sky it. Say it s-qulck!" "Sure," said the Head Barber. “Mary had a s-little s-lamb." "You said it part right and past wrong," asserted th* Manicure Lady, triumphantly. "S-what!” exclaimed the Head Bar ber. "S-now I s-know you are s-cra zy! ” ALL FORLAUGHAN, A poor little fellow called Vaughan Was playing one day on the laughan. When a whirlwind came nigh, Took him up to the skigh, And none could till where he had gaughan. MUMPS FOR MUMPERS. Little Rot What do you want" Tramp—All depends. What yer got" l.ittl* Boy—Mumps!