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THE GEORGIAN’S MAGAZINE PAGE
Daysey Mayme
and Her Folks
By FRANCES L. GARSIDE.
There ar» times in every man's life
srhsn he would like to m out on th*
center of a wild, lonely prari* and howl,
and howl, and howl.
Fut environment, tradition and cus
tom will not permit It He must find
vent* for his feelings by kicking his
shoes under the bed. or saying, "Oh.
hang It all’" in a very, ladylike voice.
The Fathers club, organized by
sander John Appleton last fall, soon
disbanded Th* members couldn't
think of anv"thing to say that was fool
ish enough to attract attention, and
grew discouraged because of th* great
er attention given the Mothers ciub.
’ Since then Lysander John has be
longed to no organization but church,
apd. feeling th* n»ed of knowing other
lonely men who are shut in at night
while th*ir wives and daughters pursue
the wrbngs of their sex at club meet
ings. he has decided to organize a Shut-
In aofiety, the members to be men who
are left alone as he Is.
Following In the footsteps of other
prominent club organizers, h* has orig
inated a great many "easons why the
Shut-In rr.*n. denied the sympathy of
their wives and daughters, should enjoy
the sympathy of one another
These he will have printed In gold
and mall tn all the husbands whose
wives assist Mrs. Appleton In saving
the world.
■'lt has often occurred tn every Shut-
In man,” he begins "that he hasn’t had
any sympathy since th* • iya his father
carried a strap and led him off to the
bam.
"The women," he added, "claim they
acquired patience through having to
put up with us men, but they didn't. If
they have any they acquired It when
passing through the Interim between
instalments of continued stories 1n the
magazines."
Waxing eloquent on his wrongs, he
plunged Into his subject, getting as
much ink on his fingers as If he had
been a literary lady.
"There is an Impression abroad that
when a man scolds at home he has
nothing to scold about.
Never Sick at the Right Time.
"When he falls sick he forfeits the
little sympathy he might hope to get by
getting sick at the wrong time. It is
always just when the dressmaker b
due, or the house cleaning has begun,
or when invitations are sent out for
a party. Ho is never sick at the time
most convenient for his family, and
they act as if he were to blame
"If he amounts to anything, his wife
gets the credit and no more account
Is taken of him than if he were a
clothing store dummy.
"Every time he gets a new chair or
picture for his office his wife is re
minded that she wants It for the house,
and anything on its last legs at the
house is considered fit for the office
"H* has so many bills to pay that
b' the time he Is well off in this world
he is well on toward the next, and
can'-t get any enjoyment out of his
money.
“No man is such a hero that he can
carve in a manner that satisfies his
wife, and if his treatment of her guests
Is ever wirhont fault, then It is time
for him to prepare for his heavenly
home. For such perfections will not be
permitted to linger long tn this wicked
world.
"After he has passed sixty, he be
gins to look like an old house with a
'For Rent' sign on It, and the front
gate hanging by one of Its hinges
And no woman loves him enough to
notice his desolation.
"Because of this exile to Lonesome
Lend. I call on all the Phut-ln Men
to organize It will he something worth
while to know, while we play soil
talre. and keep guard over the dog and
the cat. that other brave men are
doing the same, and thinking of us
kindly. We must arise like men. and
stand up for our rights!"
Lysander John Is much In earnest in
this desire to bring the comfort of sym
pathy to other Shut-In Men. hut may
not be able to mail his circular let
ters for some time The call to other
brave men to stand up for their rights
is delayed because Mrs. Appleton will
net Ift him have money for the postage.
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Makes your hair grow long, heavy and
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Get a 25 Cent Bottle Now and
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Scalp and Dandruff
Hair Becomes Soft. Fluffy. Lua*
trous and Abundant After a
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Danderine is tn the hair what fre<h showent
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goes right to the roots, invigorates and
strengthens them. Its exhilarating, stimuli
ting and life producing properties cause the
hair to grow abundantly long, strong and
beautiful. It at once imparts a sparkling
brilliancy and velvets- softness tn the hair
and a few weeks’ use will cause new hair to
spr-ou’ all over the scalp. I’-e it every dav
for a short time, after which two or three
times a week will be sufficient to complete
whatever growth sou desire.
Immediately after applying a little Dan
derine ail dandruff will disappear, all itching
of the scalp will cease and there will be no
more loose or falling hair.
If you wish to double the beauty of vour
hair in ten minutes surely try' this —moisten
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strand at a time, this will cleanse the hair of
dust, dirt or anv excessive oil In a few
moments your hair will be wavy, fluffy and
abundant and possess an incomparable soft
ness, lustre and luxuriance, the beauty and
shimmer of true hair health.
If you care for beautiful, soft hair and lots
of it surely get a 25 cent bottle of Knowl
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toilet counter —A real surprise awaits you.
<X] Ihe IjOVeFS of the oriel IVoJ— Helen of Troy By Nell Brink lev [x>
<>>P3Tight, 191-’, National News Association
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44 T T ELIEN OF TROY”—do we
I I w e ever hear nr read that
name without the dreams
come thick and fast?
lireams of fair countrysides, blue
seas and wind-scoured skies, tem
ples made blue and white In light
and shadow by the strong south
sun, tall maids with sandals lashed
on their high-arched feet funning
In the games, or listening to whis
pered love stories with black heads
leaned against cool marble and
shoulders mottled with shadows of
slow-swaying cypress tree; dreams,
of whistling sword and the sun
glinting on bristling field.'’ of spears,
the thunder of chariot wheels, and
the singing of clouds of arrows
leaving the bow as the wind sings
In a mighty forest when the rain
is not far off. the clang of sword
on sun-smitten shield, Greece's
youth, gold-maned, war-mad or
crumpled 'neath the restless, loud
crying waves of battle; many col
ored creams of Love and its dar
ing. the hearts it burns out. and
the youth who follows its.fatal call
ing; dreams of the fair women who
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Sa M
live only in the dim corridors of
one’s thoughts; the one dream of
that golden woman, Helen of Troy,
• whose shape is but a dim and glim
mering glory In one's mind because
of its splendid beauty, fust as a
handful of marvelous gems held in
the sun are hidden by their own
glitter and gleam, dreams of the
drowsy shepherd who left his hap
piness behind on the wild hills of
Ida; and then maybe. If you are a
man. atid dreaming la still sweet to
you. that dream within a dream,
comes the w oman to-be, w hose face,
for you, "would launch a thousand
ships and burn the topless towers
of Ilium."
Listen now. tn the telling of the
happy days of Paris, the shepherd,
of his following Love's fateful call
ing down into Sparta land, his
trials, 'of his flight with Helen, of
the ending of his dream, of his
death on Ida's slopes, and 'of th®
living on of Helen, untouched bv
tragedy.
Paris -was the son of Priam, king
of Troy, and-when he was born his
mother dreamed a dream from
which the oracles foretold that
through this prince should ruin fall
on Ilion. So then his mother loved
him no more. And Priam, his fa
ther. sent him, with one of his
shepherds, to be left out upon the"
hills of Ida. But the rain, and the
dew. and the winds, and the sun of
five long days brought no death
sleep to the tiny Greek, but th®,
blood Into his cheeks and the laugh
ter into his eyes, and the shepherd's
heart warmed, and be knew, said
he, "that the gods never meant him
to die." so he took him to his hearth
for his own.
As he grew he was straight, and
strong, and kind, and beautiful,
and faithful with the flocks: he was
skilled in games, and his music was
a thing to ’inger for.
For long years he drove the sheep
on the wild hill-fields of Ida. and
filled the deep pin® forests with
his singing Then one day. his fa
ther-king. who believed his little
prince safe dead, thought a most
kind thought I He would give a
feast to'the god- so that poor Paris
might have peace In the dark coun
try of Hades. So h® sent to the
slopes 'of Ida for a bull from among
his herds, tn give to the victor of
Joyful News
Easter sessions in the law courts of
a certain Irish town were In full swing
But on the third day a dreadful calam
ity occurred. The court crier was ab
sent.
"Well, w e must endeavor to find a sub
stitute.” remarked the Judge
Just as they were in the middle of
an exciting'case, a breathless messen
ger boy came tn. and handed a letter
to the judge. The latter read It. and
then announced to the court
"I have a message from our court
crier. He says: Wife's mother died
last night. Wil! not be able to cry to
day!' "
the Games. And the one they chose
was that one which Paris had made
his ow n and loved the best.
So. in his wrath and tears, the
sturdy boy followed tin servants
and his pet to Ilion, and. blind
with rage, he fought in the Games,
and—w on! His brother'tried to kill
him, but his sister cried that it was
Paris who fiad been left to dfe on
Ida, and w hen he know his story.
the shepherd's heart turned black
with grief within him, and back he
went with his again won pet at
his heels.' to the flocks and the
pine forest.® of Ida.
. And w hen the grief washed a lit
tle out of his heart and the sun was
good to him again, a dream fell
upon him, for he saw, and wooed,
and won Genone, the daughter of
the River God t’ebrenu.-. And this
was the happiness of Paris. Now,
down in Phthia. there was great
feasting of gods and men, for Pe
leus had won Thetis, a maid of the
deep sea. for his wife. And all the
gods were there but Discordia. \nd
her ugly face they didn't want
where there was all aughter and
beauty.
So that piqued ugly one thought
hard, and thought away of ven
geance. Into the midst of the feast
she flung a golden apple, and across
its sheen was ' written, "For the
fairest.'’ And here then was an
uproar. Three goddesses stretched
a white hand for it and quarreled.
Minerva desired it. Juno coveted
it above all things. Venus smil
ingly took it for her right. “For,"
easy she. "the stars danced in
heaven when I was born, for my
Very beauty " But Jupiter thun
dered his order that the thre®
goddesses take th- gold apple to
th® hills of Ida. and there Paris,
the fairest of all men. should give
it to w hom he would
So here begin the trials of Par
is So to the hill? of Ida and to
Par's with his flocks came these
royal three. Juno offered him
power Minerva gtavely offered
him wisdom and strength and hap
p; days. But Venus slipped close
to the shepherd and bribed him
with “The fairest of all daughters
of men for a wife." But Paris
laughed aloud at this "I need not
that." he said. ' for a fairer wife
I ROYAL
BAKING POWDER
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NO ALUM, NO LIME PHOSPHATE
than Denone can no man ever have.
Yet thou art the fairest daughter
of all th® gods, and so I give thee
the apple of gold." So now lay on
Ilion the wrath of Juno, Minerva
and ugly Discordia.
Now. faraway in Sparta Discor
dia brought famine and dark days.
And the gods told Menelaus, the
king, that not until the bones of
the children of Prometheus were
brought from Ilion would there be
• plenty. So to Priam's kingdom
cam® Menelaus, and there he saw
Paris, whom he straight loyed for
his beauty and strength.
Rich he promised to make him if
he would go with him to Sparta.
So Paris, the shepherd prince, be
lieved, and. kissing his smiling rlv-.
er nymph good-bye, he sailed with
Menelaus to Sparta land. And there
he saw HELEN Helen of Troy,
the wife of Menelaus.
Gold and white she was. and
deep eyed and full lipped, her face
so great a marvel that men forgot
all other things but the sweetness
of living within sight of her flut
tering. gold-bordered robe. And
Paris forgot the slopes of Ida and
the pine woods, and the flocks, and
he forgot Denon® and all his lov
ing of her. So Venus and Discor
dia wove round his heart the tan
gling web of Love. And one day
when Menelaus was gone far for a
little -while, these two. Helen and
Paris, the shepherd, fled dotvn th®
rocks to the blue water and over
the sea to Ilion. And there they
lived in th® house of Priam, the
father of Paris. Paris' spear and
shield hung idle and unburnished
on the wall. And high on the hills
of Ida Denon® patched her bright
tears slip into the water of Cebre
nu?.‘ So down upon fair Ilion fell
th® great hosts of Menelaus; the
sea yvas black with shins; men
crowded in swarms over the high
white walls of Troy Priam fell
under the sword in his own great
hall: here Hector died. Juno and
Minerva loomed mighty (n th® ar
my of Menelaus, and for Troy came
no help from Venus, the merryma
ker. Paris tek down bis spear and
shield and went into the battle, but
his heart and his body had turned
coward, and he gave no help to the
weary Trojans. Troy died under
the sword, her white towers crum
bled and boiled in dust to the sky,
and In the fire of her burning fell
to naught the dreams of Paris.
The shepherd fled, and as he ran an
arro wof Philoctote; winged its way
into his side. He plucked it out
and flung it far, but its poison
spread, and he hurried with limbs
trembling and breath growing short
and a coldness creeping on him to
the hillside of Ida, where he had
watched his sheep. And here Oe
none held him close till he had
died. So goes the way of men and
maids even now.
And back to Sparta with Mene
laus went Helen, the perfect, gold
en and white, unblamed, untouch
ed. unremembering.
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_ MAULL BROS., S* Louis, Mo.
The Manicure
Lady
Bv WILLIAM F. KIRK.
41 rp HERE was an awful funny man
! in here to have his nails did
this morning. George,” said the
Manicure Lady "He has a new kind
of'talk he has invented, like hog Latin,
only different. He told me that his
name was Gus Chapeau, or some such
name, only he called himself s-Gus'ln
.stead of Gus. He said: 'S-ain t it a
s-fine s-day?’ ahd a lot of other things
that don't sound funny unless you take
them home and try them on the piano.
In other words. George, you have s-got
to s-practice a s-while. I think it's
lots of fun."
The Head Barber regarded her pity
ingly. "I am sorry for you. kiddo,” he
said. "I think you must be losing your
mind, to pay any attention to that
kind of junk. Talk English when you
talk, even if you don't talk It
too good." .
"S-what!" cried the Manicure Lady.
"You don't mean to s-tell me. s-George,
that my English ain't s-better than
yours. I don't know this new talk well
enough. George, tn bawl you out proper
in it. but don't you never dare to tell
me that my regular English ain’t reg
ular You got a nerve. Why. George,
there is times that I almost weep when
I hear you trying to talk to a customer
that has had many advantages in them
walks of life in which most of us has
been in Don't never dare to poke fun
at my gramamr again. You talk awful
bad grammar.
"All I started out to tell you. was
that the funny talk this Mister Cha
peau brought in was that contagious
that he had all the girls talking it in
no time. On the square. George, it's
all I can do now to keep from talking
it. lam doing my best, but it's hard.”
“Just as I told you before," said the
Head Barber sadly. "I am affaid you
are losing your mind."
"I ain't no such thing," said . the
Manicure Lady. “Just listen to this
sentence and after I have said .it the
new way. you say it the old w ; ay'if you
can. I'll dare you to. Now. listen:-’
"‘S-Mary s-had a s-jittle s-lamb.’
Now. you say it in regular English.”.
The Head Barber seemed puzzled.
"What are you trying to do?'’ he .-de
manded. "Are you trying to kid me.?”
"No. George, ', said the Manicure La
dy, as she repeated .the =entence again
in her own version. "S-now-you say i
it. Say it s-qulck!" -.-, -
"Sure." said the Head Barber. "Mary
had a s-littl* s-!amb.” '
"You said it part right -'anef part
wrong." asserted the Manicure Lady, •
triumphantly.
"S-what!". exclaimed the Head Bar
ber. “S-now I s-know you are s-cra
zy!"
ALL FORLAUGHAN.
A poor little fellow called Vaughan.
Was playing one day on the laughan.'
When a whirlwind came nigh.
Took him up to the skigh,
And none could till whey, h? had
gaughan.
MUMPS FOR MUMPERS.
Little Boy- \t hat -do you want?
Tramp—All depends. What yep got?
Little Bov Mumps!