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THE MAGAZUME PAGE Fables of the Wise Dame By DOROTHY DIX. ONCE upon a time there was a Man who, by hustling early and late and always being Johnny-on the-Spot, sue, ceded in nouinhling a stack of Pelf that was an Eye Opener even to Wall Streel. Except so" his Talent for Divorcing others from their S.-curities, th' Man was qnltf an ordinary Creature. who Preferred Corned Reef and Cabbage to French Entree. ind who desired no other amusement than his Business af forded. but his Wife was a Superior Being with Social Aspirations. Unfortunate'. Society did not seem to miss th< aiix's Absence f om it. and when she tried to break into the Four Hundred it save her a welcome that ■was eo much on the Fritz that it con gealed her Back Teeth. Now. among this Worthy Couple's Assets was a Daughter who had grown up into a Peacherino, with a Willowy Figure, and Peroxide Hair, and Soulful Orbs, and when her Mother observed this she returned thanks to Heaven for «!1 her Mercies, for she had a Hunch that through Daughter she could win out, and Get to Know all the People who Did Not Want to Know Her. "This Frappe Society has gotten on my Nerves,” she remarked to herself, "but I opine that there is still another Deal coming tv lilt, anil that 1 shall yet have thesf Head Dim”.- on the Run Happily my Husband has not sppnt his Fife in Doing his Fellow Creatures In Vain, and it is up to us to take a Eu ropean Coronet out of Soap, and break Into the Closed Doors with it.” The Wise Dame's Scheme. Thereupon she went to her Husband and thus addressed him. "I feel,” she said, "that it is our Sacred Duty to give our Daughter all the Broadening Influence of Foreign Travel and Eduea» tlon and that I ought to make the Sac rifice of buying my Paris Gowns in France instead of on Sixth Avenue. "Wherefore, I w ill take our Daughter and go Abroad, and while I am Con scientiously Opposed to Husband Hunt ing, as a Rule, it may chance that I may rur across a Coat-of-Anns that will be just as good as New If Regilded. ’’ Knowing the Duty of an American Husband and Father; the Man consent ed, and so th' Lady took her Daughter and hiked across the Herring Pond, where the Girl acquired a Foreign Ac cent, and was taught to be Ashamed of Father because he was in Trade Mothei trailed her Purse like an Anise Seed Rag all across Europe, and It was not long before a Pack of Hun gry Fortune Hunters was on her Trail, but she was Wise to the Game and led them a Chase, while she looked for the Right One who would he worth the Price. She did not Propose to Invest her good Dollars in a Macaroni Title, or a Shoddy Thing Made in Germany, and that had not been O. K.'d by the Al manach de Gotha. At last the Real Thing appeared on the Scene He was Guaranteed as n Genuine Antique in the Aristocracy Line, for the Newest Thing on his An cestral Estate was the Fifth Mortgage The cool Calmness w ith w hich he ran up Bills that he never intended to Pay was as Good as an AffWavit of Nobil ity, while his Blase Air in standing off Creditors betravod how long his Fam ily had been Familiar with the Busi ness He also possessed a Hyphenated Name that was so long that it had to be Handled on a Hook and Ladder Truck, and onlv used in Sections. Charmed By Real Thing. The Mother w as enchanted. "I opine," she said to her Daughter, "that a Nani" like that will be a Jimmy with which you can break into anv American So ciety, and that as a Parlor Ofnament the Count will be a Bargain at Four Figures " "But.” objected the Daughter. "I do not care for him. He has weak Eye-, and a Lisp. and he makes me Tired, and I should like to have a Regular Man for a Husband.” “Foolish One.” cried the Mother, "any Husband is liable to make you Weary, but if you marry the Count you will always have the Consolation of, being able to Contemplate your Visiting Cards and the Crest on your Station ery with pleasure." So the Girl was Married to the Count in great Splendor, and all the Exclusive set that had turned Mother down so hard almost Broke their Necks trying to get Invitations to the Weddings. The Girl.had not been Married long, however, before "he went to her Mother and put up a Moan that she was not Happy T'nreasonable child." said h*r Moth er with anger, "what do you expect? Is It not enough to know that you are envied by al' of your old Xmeri-an Friends because you Possess a Title? No one who Marti. < for Dove is En vied. and I advise you to take your Medicine and try to long as if you en joyed it. and that being a Countess was a Picnic So the Countess went away and Cul tivated . Stage Smile that was only Skit Deep, but when the other Rich Ameri'ins "' m Abroad she Snubbed them, and they respected her Greatly, and when they returned they Bragged about how thev used to know he- when she was a G MORAL This Labi, teaches that we never know who has Really got a Cinch in Life. an.l that we often Envy the wrong One. WE GIVE PERPETUAL CONTRACTS ON DIAMONDS In view of the fact that a great many of our customers, after they have bought a diamond, decide that they wish a larger one. we have arranged for them to return it at any time in the future and get an allowance of the full purchase price for it toward a larger one. By this plan it is possible for one to eventually own as large a stone as they might wish, and at the same time their payments be reduced to a mini mum. As an example, on a $60.00 stone we would only re quire $15.00 cash, and allow the purchaser to extend the re maining $45.00 over a period of months best suited. After tlii- <tiinr is paid for. which you have had the pleasure of wearing in the meantime, we will allow you the full price of $60.00 for it toward a larger one. and so on. making ex changes as you so desire. If it is not possible for you to visit our store, let us send you a selection package from which you can choose as satis factorily as if you had visited our establishment. SUGEWE VfIAYMES(S) OrjEWEXE-E* ~_^' T u ' H T tHALL AT - ■>— — ~—— —— - Just Because I Growled a Lillie *£ copanaht, wa x-e- Ry Xell Brinkley 7 j (WITH APOLOGIES TO "HE DOG THAT "GROWLED A LITTLE.”) - . D— -1 I i Ac A">C—)f ’ A— - Ll A' ' I—l 1 — 1 ■<&&' n c .-■■ h ko" \ L . W -Oil R Jbfe ; JSpW' ? —At n I | / Aiw t ww ii Wx ■)Ash i I mSw WsMf V !>' JAIXi y!*■ ( -vAHu’ ‘SA-'’ 2, , ' 5 That's the way with a girl—she always 'spects love-affairs to run smooth as an auto speedway—always 'spects Love to smile and never frown—- and when he Just once gets a spell, and growls a little at her, she goes and puts him "in the cooler,,, Haven’t you heard ’em say, “I won't ever love any man again."— NELL BRINKLEY. II 111 1 NO. 6.—SWEET NOTHINGS AND SENTIMENTAL WORDS T) \/‘ f ‘ T 1 \ 7 FA \Y7 . Hunting a Husband ? et the widows heart a fluttering. oy Virginia 1. Van De Water \ A '*’ f ' quartet reac’.ed the V/V street a gentle rain had b'gun to fall. Beatrice uttered a low exclamation of consternation, remem bering her dainty tbilet, then becked herself. It would not do for h to be have as if she were afraid of spoiling her costume, new this spring, for that might suggest to her admirer the idea that she did not have many other such gowns. Every woman likes a possible suitor to thing that even in the privacy of her own home, and during her work ing hours, she is well dressed and ap pears as faultless in attire as when she is with him in public But Robert May nard had not been a married man for seven years before he became a Wid ower without learning a woman’s thoughts and fears about her clothes, and he was quick to suggest a taxicab. "The ladies' gowns will be ’uinetl.” he said to George Minor. "George, with his loving wife upon his arm, was less considerate than the widower. ’’Nonsense' Helen and 1 have been out in all kinds of weathers, and it has not hurt her yet! Moreover, we can take a crosstofvn car right here, transfer to an uptown car, and go with in three doors ’of our house. If is not raining hard’ anyway.” "Nevertheless.” declared Robert ob stinately. "1 am going to take a cab and will see the ladies safely home." Furthers Her Scheme. But at this Helen came out boldly In what seemed to be assent to her hus band’s verdict, but was really a fur therance of her own match-making schemes. ”1 wish you WOULD take a taxi. Mr Maynard!" she exclaimed. "Beatrice’s light dress will spot dreadfully with the rain. This dark one of mine won't be hurt, and, as George has said, we can go home, in the ear without any t exposure, but Beatrice lives oft the \ car line.” , Here Beatrice entered a gentle pro- r test j "Indeed, it will not hurt me to go ; in the car. too." she began, but Rob- ; ert checked her. t "There is no use in argument.” he ■■ said, gently but firmly, "for 1 am going ; to take you home in a taxi, since" — j with a bow to Helen ■ “our hostess j grants tne her permission to do so.” “You are doing me a favor in look ; ing after our dear girl - " urged Helen. , 'Call up your tab at once, and you two ( young people get off before it rains < any harder. We old ones are going to , trot right off now for our car.” "We have had a lovely evening.' said Beatrice, kissing her friend, “and ; 1 thank you for it!" "So do I," began Robert, but as the rosstow n car appeared at this junc- | ture, George hurried bls wife away and : on board of it. calling back an apology for their hasty departure. Drive Through Park. Robert summoned the cab, piacing Beatrice in it, and seated himself by her. aftV giving the driver the address of her home and telling him to drive uptown through Central Park. "You don't mind, do you?” he asked of the woman beside him. "It is much quieter in the park than In the street, although the route is longer. But there is really no great hurry, is there?” Beatrice reflected how good it was to be in a position w here one did not care how fast the indicator hand went around, nor how many dollars It ticked off When she hired a taxi for herself she wondered if she would not get eye strain before her destination was reach ed from staring fearfully ahead of het at that "moving finger' that never paused "1 am tn no hurry." she said, leaning back comfortably, “although 1 do feel like a naughty child staying out as late as this. Fortunately my dear little boy and girl are fast asleep and would not know w hether 1 got home at ten or at two." Talk of Children. "Tell me about them," said Robert. "How old are they?" Beatrice was glad to talk cf the chil. men and to give him the desired par- After the Bath * f Air-Float Talcum Powder —bora- ' 4 , ted, perfumed—guaranteed pure, y TALCUM PUFF COMPANY / >' Hiners and Man«Uacturer». Bash Terminal Bldg., ‘ BROOKLYN, NEW YORK TalcumPoAet ticulars about them, saying that Jean was five and Jack seven, and going into many details of their bright and win ning ways as is the manner of devoted mothers. It is doubtful if her listener appreciated much what she told him. although he laughed appreciatively at the right times. He was wat- aing her animated face in the dim light, and finding hers a very charming personal ity. At last she became conscious of his gaze and checked her tajk abruptly. "1 must bore you!” she exclaimed apologetically. "I never thought how much I was talking about two little people whom you have never seen and of whom you have never heard until tonight." 'lndeed you do not bore me!" pro tested Maynard, "tin the contrary, 1 am interested in children, although (with a regretful note in his voice) I have none of my own. If I had, I would not be as lonely as I am now, and my home would hold more charm for me." A Jealous Pang. Beatrice had an involuntary thought of self-congratulation that he had no children. Even now she was conscious of a pang of jelousy toward the woman whom he had once loved, and she knew that she would not be happy if . she Do You Know--- Anaemia can be successfully treated by fruit diet, especially with bananas. Coal to the amount of 750 tons has been transferred from lighters to a man-of-war in one hour and a half. At the Case Veron. Paris, a type writing speed competition took place The French record was beaten by M Legrij. a typist of the Compagnie des Messagelies Fluviales. who did 201 wotds in a minute. The Ameriear champion, Mr Wiese, who was present at the competition, although he did no official!' take part in it, did 230 word; in a minute on the same machine. Mr. J. A. Lander, a wealthy man. ot Yoakum. Texas, hit on a novel methoc of distributing his fortune among his eight children. He arranged a lottery with numbered tickets. The numbers corresponded with the number of some part of his estate. The children drew in turn the tickets from a hat. As there were* no blanks, every drawing represented a w in of some sort. Several towns in Norway and Swe den have recently 'taken steps tow an tin general introduction of electrii heating, to ret’ ace the use of stove: burning onl or wood. Few building: In these places have central heating systems and the tilt stoves now g< n erallv used could easily be adapted t< receive electric heaters. The eleetrit current '-' ill be supplied by the publb p ints, which are gen-rally run by wa ter power. i km w that he had living children, who > demanded his time and his affections. But she spoke sympathetically, chiding I herself inwardly for her narrow and r petty - thoughts. "You must be lonely indeed. But for t my boy and girl I would often find life r too dreary to bear. But they make it 1 worth living." Then she asked him if he w ould mind f telling her about himself, his work and . his interest. He, like all men and most 1 women, liked to talk of himself and his r affairs, and before long he was speak e ing of his dead wife, feeling perhaps 1 that in conversing of her to another 1 woman he ,was making some sort of amends for having forgotten her for . most of the evening. Beatrice let him 1 talk on: in fact, she forced he.rself to encourage him to do so. When at last j he stopped as they neared her door, she j thanked him for his confidence. "You see. we have both suffered." she n reminded him; “so we can sympathize with each other." "Sweet Sympathy.” t As he helped her from the cab he o pressed her hand warmly. ? "Tlwnk you for your sweet sympa thy." he murmured. “You would not v believe me if 1 tried to tell you how e much'll has helped me." He went with her to the door of her - apartment, but she, mindful of the proprieties, hade him good-night there. "It has> been an almost perfect even ing." she said, "and I thank you for all you have done to make it so." d. "And I thank you for making it en tirely perfect, for YOU have made it that to me—you and you only.” ( (Poor Helen and her theater tickets at $2 each! But. after all, she might have thought the game worth the can >- die hr.u she known of this conversa- e. tion.) I. "May I call soon and see you and get •s acquainted with the kiddies?" Maynard 13 asked as he held ’Beatrice’s hand for a n moment longer than was actually nec it essary. H "Certainly-—but please let me know l ? beforehand when you are coming, that I may be sure to be at home." she sug gested. And. with a bright nod and >f smile, she went into her apartment, , c j closing the door softly, that the "kid dies" might not be awakened. y Her Big Fairy. • g When she got into bed littld Jean. ie lying beside her. stretched sleepily and , v threw one arm about her mother's neck. s "I was finking about you in my | dweams, muvver,” muttered the little ® i girl. "And I saw a nice big fairy | hw inging you home." "One did!" whispered Beatrice, klss | ing the child. But Jean was too sleepy 1 to ask for an explanation. CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought c& Furniture Wives c& By BEATRICE FAIRFAX. {( tl /f EN marry for fortune and |y/| sometimes to please their fancy, but, much oftener than is suspected, they consider what the world will say of it; how such a woman in their friends’ eyes will look at the head of the table. Hence we see so many insipid beauties made wives who could not have struck the particu lar fancy of any man that had any fan cy at all; as many buy furniture and pictures because they suit this or that niche in their dining rooms. These I call FURNITURES WIVES." —Charles Lamb. "I am 25 and deeply in love with a girl two years tny junior. As she is rather stout (about 175 pounds), and I am thin, my friends ridicule the match. I have tried to forget her and break off the engagement, because of this rid icule, but I can not do so. my affection being returned. What shall I do?” It seems that Charles Lamb's words are as true in this generation as in his. This man loves a woman, but because of the criticisms of his friends would give her up in exchange for a "furniture wife.” Having conceded to his friends the right to name her weight, he should concede more, and let them select her complexion, her height and the color of her hair. All these little questions could be settled by a council of his friends, all who come under that category be ing willing to shoulder such respon sibilities A "furniture wife" would simplify courtship, and relieve it of many of its uncertainties and pangs and ■ expendi tures of time and money. It w ould also relieve the man of much of its joys. And that word "relieve" is used advisedly when in connection with the sort of man who would be contented with a "furniture wife." But if you. my dear man. are not that kind, you need not let the difference in weight worry you. The difference is easily adjusted. There is a course of physical train ing which, if followed faithfully, will reduce the girl’s weight. There is also a course, entirely dissimilar, which, if followed by you faithfully, will increase your weight. Make an Exchange. Every pound she drops you will pick up. and in this way you may hope to attain the desired proportion. If she perseveres, she will become sylphlike. /j ift i ■ anty VI IHlIwWr L W UK DRUDGE T vY PSta 2« I" eIL I Anty Drudge Gives a Lesson in Spelling Little Afary—“F-E-I^S—N-A-P-T-H-A. What does that spell, Anty?” Anty Drudge— “To you, Dearie, it spells just Fels-Naptha, the name of a soap. To your mother and me it spells an easy way of washing clothes in j I cool or lukewarm water, without boiling or hard I ( rubbing and with a saving of time, labor, bother, fl discomfort and money. You'll learn, some day, my child, that it’s a very important word to the' housekeeper.” ' —r- The biggest woman's club in America I is the Anti-Drudgery Club. 1 It has more than a million members J now. I All that’s necessary to belong is to ■ use Fels-Naptha soap and quit drudging .. J on washday. JjflP You'll have no more boiling ot clothes, no bending over steamy suds, no back-breaking rubbing on a washboard in f winter or summer. ? You will be through with your wash ing before you would be well started on the old way. And your ciothes will be fresher, cleaner, whiter and sweeter. Fels-Naotha does it. The rules of the club are to be found A in the directions for using Fels-Naptha on the back of the red and green wrapper. < Follow them carefully and you'll save ‘ money as well as hard work and bother. Get a cake of Fels-Naptha and join the club to-day. j jgNK ' |KI and. if you persevere, you will add every pound you need to give the right symmetry to-one of your height. No girl would object to taking such a course, which, in addition to improving her looks, would be of inestimable ben efit to her health. Undoubtedly in that controlling passion where all women have to please the men they love this poor girl has bemoaned her excessive weight many times. But this is also true: I doubt If It has occurred to her that her lover is a pound too light! When women love, they love beyond criticism. Had her friends laughed at her for loving a man so thin, her love would have leaped up in an angry flame. The maternal instinct, which is the controlling motive in every woman’s love, would have prompted her to spring to his defense, and she would have contended with all the might of offended love that his weight was right to an ounce; she would not have it changed a fraction of a pound, and would affirm that, in comparison with him. all other men are gross and beefy. No "Furniture Husbands.” -.«■ That is the difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman. Had Charles Lamb investigated further he might have added that there are no such creatures as "furniture husbands." No woman ever selected a husband because he would look well at the head of a table, or match the paper on her parlor wall. This girl who weighs too much will feel hurt if you suggest her weight doesn’t suit you. Don’t do it! Leave the matter of her weight out of the question of your own. You have no right to complain she is an ounce too heavy as long as you are an ounce too light'! Take a course in physical culture, and stick to it faithfully. When you have reached the desired figure on the scales, tell her so. Love is quick to take a suggestion, and I do not doubt for a moment that she will be quick to respond. She will tell you. without any further Intima tion from you. that if physical culture does so much for you, it will do as much for her. And she will take it as a means of losing what you are trying to gain. But. whatever you do. I beg of you that you show yourself to be so much of a man your friends will not dare to select you a "furniture wife " The hus band of a "furniture wife" misses life's greatest joy, and gets just what he deserves.