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THE GEORGIAN’S MAGAZINE' PAGE Fables of the Wise Dame By DOROTHY DIX. ONCE upon a time there was a Man who. by hustling early and late 'and always being Johnny-on thf-Spot, succeeded in accumlating a stack of Pelf that was an Eye Opener even .to. Wall Street. Exoept for his Talent for Divorcing others from their Securities, the Man was quite an ordinary Creature, who Preferred Corned Beef and Cabbage to riencn Entree, and Who desired no other amusement than his Business af forded. but his Wife was a Superior Being with Social Aspirations. Unfortunately. Society did not seem to miss the lady’s Absence from it, and when she tried to break into the Four Hundred it gave her a welcome that was so .much on the Fritz that it con gealed her Back Teeth. Now. among this Worthy Couple’s Assets was a Daughter who had grown up into a Peacherino, with a Willowy (/Figure. and Peroxide Hair, and Soulful Orbs, and when her Mother observed this she returned thanks to Heaven for afj her Mercies, for she had a Hunch that through Daughter she could win out, and Get to Know all the People ho Did Not Want to Know Her. “This Frappe Society has gotten on my Nerves," she remarked to herself, “but I opine that there is still another t>eaJ_caxning. to .me. and-that J.ahaJ.l yet have these Head Liners on the Run. Happily my Husband has not spent his Life in Doing hi? .Fellow Creatures in Vain, and it is up to us to take a Eu ropean Coronet out of Soap, and break into the Closed Doors with it.” The Wise Dame's Scheme. Thereupon she went to her Husband and thus addressed him: “I’feel,'' she said, "that it is our Sacred Duty -to give our Daughter all the Broadening Influence of Foreign Travel and Educa tion. and that I ought to make the Sac rifice of buying my Paris Gowns in France instead of on Sixth Avenue. “Wherefore, I will take our Daughter and go Abroad, and while I am Con scientiously Opposed to Husband Hunt ing. as a Rule, it may chance that I may •un across a Coat-of-Arms that will be lust as good as New' if Regilded." Knowing the' Duty .of an American Husband and Father, the Man consent ’d, and so--the Lady .took her Daughter and hiknid across the Herring Pond, where th<f» Girt acquired a Foreign Ac cent, and 'was taught to-be. Ashamed of Father bitcstiise he was in Trade. Mother trailed her Purse like an Anise Seed Bag ftfj across Europe, and it was not long before a Pack of Hun gry Fortune Hunters was on her Trail, but she was Wise to the Game and led them a Chase, while she looked for the Right One -who would be worth the Price. She did not Propose to Invest her good Dollars in a Macaroni Title, or a Shoddy Thing Made in Germany, and that had not been O. K.’d by the Al manach de-Gotha. At last the Real Thing appeared on tije Scene. He was Guaranteed as a •genuine Antique in the Aristocracy Line, for'Hhe Newest Thing bfi Ms’ An- Estate was the Fifth Mortgage. , The cool Calmness with which he ran <ip Bills that he never intended to Pay (was as Good as an Affidavit of Nobil ity, whila his Blase Air in standing off m'red itor- bet re ved how long his Fam -’ lly had been Familiar with the Busi ness He also possessed a Hyphenated Name that was so long that it had to be Handled on a~Hohk and Ladder Truck, and oniv used in Sections. Charmed By Real Thing. The MbTKeFwa's enchanted. "I opine,” she said to her Daughter, “that a Name like that 'wTO" be a Jimmy with which you can break--into- any American So ciety, and'that as a Parlor Ornament the Count nvili be a Bargain at Four Figu res.” “But,” objected -the-Daughter. “I do not care for him. He has weak Eyes, and a Lisp, ..and he .makes me Tired, and I should like to have a Regular Man for a Husband.” “Foolish One." cried the Mother, "any Husband is liable to make you Wea v y, but. if you marry the Count you will always have the Consolation of being able to Contemplate your Visiting Cards and the Crest on your Station ery with pleasure.” So the Gt H was Married tojhe Count In great Splendor, and all the Exclusive set that had turned Mother down So hard almost Broke their Necks trying to get Invitations to the Weddings. The Girl had not been Married long, however..before she went to her Mother and put up a Moan that she was not Happy. “Unreasonable <?hild,” said her Moth er with anger, "what do yqu expect? Is it not enough to know that you are envied by ‘all of your old American Friends because you Possess a Title? No one who Marries for Love is En vied. and I advise you to take your Medicine and try to look as if you en joyed it. and that being a.Countess was a Picnic.” . : So the Countess went away and Cul tivated a Stage Smile that was only Skin Deep, but when the other Rich Awnertcans went Abroad she Snubbed fttem, and they respected her Greatly, and—when they returned they Bragged ,i ■ Q -h An f how they used to know her when she was a Girl. MORAL: This Fable teaches that we never know who has Really got a Cinch in .Life, and that we often Envy \he wrong One. WE GIVE PERPETUAL CONTRACTS ON DIAMONDS In view of the fact that a great many of our customers, after they have bought a diamond, decide that they wish a larger one. we have arranged for them to return it at ant time in the future and get an allowance of the full purchase price for it toward a larger oile. By this plan it is possible for one to eventually own as large a stone as they might wish, and at the same time their payments be reduced to a mini mum. As an example, on a $60.00 stone we would only re quire $15.00 cash, and ajlow the purchaser to extend the re maining $45.00 over a period of months best suited. After this stone is paid for. which you have had the pleasure of wearing in the meantime, we will allow you the full price of $60.00 for it toward a larger one, and so on, making ex changes as you so desire. If it is not possible for you to visit our store, let us send you a selection package from which you can choose as satis factorily as if you had visited our establishment. (FjJGENEVfIAYXESgo) Must Because I Growled a Little By Nell Brinkley! ; (WITH APOLOGIES TO THE DOG THAT "GROWLED A LITTLE.’’) ...... . . . ? “ nr 1 twi j —> w. I* JI ! Il "Q < jJMW LI HL i JOfe O firn u. ' HI / - £ 3j«®hr! i r Wrr -->/ atTSssJol Mg ylAlv fl HI Aretl I ■v 4— 4 b! u '-V\' Mw * rrw —— x- v .. , j. a »_ b That’s the way with a girl—she always 'spects love-affairs to run smooth as an auto speedway—always 'specta Love to smjle and never frown— and when he just once gets a spell, and growls a little at her, she goes and puts him "In the cooler.,, Haven’t you heard 'em say, “I won't ever love any man again,’’— NELL BRINKLEY. I I U L J NO. 6.—SWEET NOTHINGS AND SENTIMENTAL WORDS D \l‘ * ’ T \ J r~A \Y, 7 Hunting a Husband set the widows heart a fluttering. tsy Virginia 1. Van He Water TV THEN the quartet reached the X/V street a gentle rain had begun to fall. Beatrice uttered a low’ exclamation of consternation, remem bering her dainty toilet, then checked herself. It would not do for her to be have as if she were afraid of spoiling her costume, new this spring, for that might suggest to her admirer the idea that she did not have many other such gowns. Every woman likes a possible suitor to thing that even in the privacy of her own home, and during her work ing hours, she Is well dressed and ap pears as faultless in attire as when she is with him in public. But Robert May nard had not been a married man for seven years before he became a wid ower without learning a woman's thoughts and fears about her clothes, and he was quick to suggest a taxicab. "The ladies’ gowns will be ruined,” he said-to George Minor. "George, with his loving wife upon his arm. was less considerate than the widower. "Nonsense! Helen and 1 have been out in all kinds of weathers, and it has riot hurt her yet! Moreover, we can-take a crosstown car right here, transfer to an uptowm car, and go with in three doors of our house. It is not raining hard, anyw'ay." “Nevertheless.” declared Robert ob stinately, “I am going to take a cab and w’ill see the ladies safely home.” Furthers Her Scheme. But at this Helen came out boldly in what Seemed to be assent to her hus band’s verdict, but was really a fur therance of her own match-making schemes. “I wish you WOULD take a taxi, Mr. Maynard!" she exclaimed. “Beatrice’s light dress will spot dreadfully with the rain. This dark one of mine won’t be hurt, and, as George has said, we can go home in' the car without any exposure but Beatrice lives off tire ear line.” Here Beatrice entered a gentle pro test. "Indeed, it Will not hurt me to go in the car. too,” she began, but Rob ert checked her. ' ■ -.’There is_.no..use...in argument,” he sai<3. gently bqt firmly. “fqr-I am going to take yb'u home in a taxi, since” — with a bow to Helen —"our hostess grants me her permission to do. so." "You are doing me a favor In look ing after our deal girlt" urged Helen. “Call up your cab at once, and you two young people get off before it rains any harder. We old ones are going to trot right off now for our car." "We have had a lovely evening." said Beatrice, kissing her friend, "and I thank you for it!” "So do I,” began Robert, but as the crosstown car appeared at thi^- junc ture, George hurried his w ife gw ay and on boatd of it; calling back an. apology for their hasty departure. Drive Through Park. Robert summoned rhe cab, placing Beatrice in : it, and seated himself by her. afttr giving the driver the address of her home and telling him to drive uptown through Central Park. "You don't mind, do you?” he asked of the woman Reside him. “It is much quieter in the park than in the street, although the route is longer. But .there is really nd great-hurry, is there?" . Beatrice reflected how good if.wajs to be in a position where one did not care how fast the indicator hand went around, nor how many dollars it ticked off. When she hired a taxi for herself she wondered if she would not get eye strain before her destination was reach ed from staring fearfully ahead of her at that "moving finger”' that never paused. "I am in no hurry,” ffie said, leaning back comfortably, “although I do feel like a naughty child staying out as late as this. Fortunately my dear little boy and girl are fast asleep and would not know whether 1 got home at ten or at two.” Talk oj Children. "Tell me about then),", said Robert. "How old are they?" . Beatrice was glad to talk of the chil dren and to give hint the desired par- 'After theßath> f'' Air-Float Talcum Powder—bora- > ted, perfumed—guaranteed pure, $1 TALCUM PUFF COMPANY / U' Mlnert and Jlarnfteturer*, Bath Terminal Rldg., * f BROOKLYN. NfW YORK *TalcumPom/er ticulars about them, saying that Jean was five and Jack seven, and going into many details of their bright and win ning ways as is the manner of devoted mothers. It is doubtful if her listener appreciated much what she told him, although he laughed appreciatively at the right times. He was watching her animated face in the . dim-light., and. finding hers a very charming personal ity. At last she became conscious of his gaze and checked her talk abruptly. "I must bore you!" she exclaimed apologetically. "I never thought how much I was talking about two little people whom you have never seen and of whom you have never heard until tonight." "Indeed you do not bore me!” pro tested Maynard. "On the contrary, I am interested in children, although (with a regretful note in his voice) .1 have none of my own. If I had, I would not be as lonely..as I am now, and my home would hold more'charm for me.” ' . . A Jealous Pang. Beatrice had an involuntary .thought of self-congratulation that he had no children. Even now she was.cor\seio)is of a pang of jelousy toward the woman whom he had once loved, and she knew that she would not be happy if she Do You Know—- Ana-emi-i can be successfully treated by fruit diet, especially with bananas. Coal to the amount of 750 tons has been transferred from lighters to a man-of-war in one hour and a half. •At the Case Veron, Paris, a type writing speed competition took place. The French record was beaten by M. I.egris, a typist of the Compagnie des Messageries Fluviales. who did 203 words in a minute. The American champion. Mr. Wiese, who was present at the competition, although he did not officially take part in it, did 230 words in a minute on the same machine. Mr J. A. I.ander, a .wealthy mrfn. o,‘ Yoakum. Texas, hit on a novel method of distributing his fortune among his eight children. He arranged a lottery with numbered tickets. The numtiers corresponded with the number of some part of his estate. The children drew in turn the tickets from a hat. As there were no blanks, every drawing represented a win of some sort. Several towns in Norway and Swe den have recently taken steps toward the general introduction of electric heating, to replace the use of stoves burning coal or wood. Few building in these places have central heating systems and the tile stov> . now gen erally used could easily be adapted to receive electric heaters The electric . urrent 111! be supplied by the pub!i< plants, whn h are generally run by wa ter power. knew that he had living children, who demanded his time and his affections But she spoke sympathetically, chiding herself inwardly for her narrow and petty’ thoughts. "You must be lonely indeed . But for my boy and girl I would often find lite too" dreafy to bear. But they make it .worfh:divdng.T. ... . .. . .. Then she asked him if he would mind telling her about himself, his work and his interest,. He, like all men and most women, liked to talk of himself and his affairs, and before long he was speak ing of his dead wife, feeling perhaps that in conversing of her to another woman he was making some sort of amends for having forgotten her for most of the evening. Beatrice let him talk on; in fact, she forced herself to encourage aim to do so. When at last he stopped as they neared her door, she thanked him for his confidence. "You see. we have both suffered," she reminded’ him; "so we can sympathize with each other." "Sweet Sympathy.” As he helped her from the cab he pressed her hand warmly. "Thank you for-your sweet sympa thy*.” he murmured. "You would not believe me if 1 tried to tell you how much it has. helped me." Me went with her to the door of her apartment, but she, mindful of the proprieties, bade him good-night there. It has. been an almost perfect evert* Ing," stteySdid, "and I thank you for all Voir have done to make-at- "And I thank you for making it en tirely perfect, for YOU have made it that to me -you and you only.” (Poor Helen and her theater tickets at $2 each! But, after all, she might have thought the game worth the can dle had she known of this conversa tion.) "May I call soon and see you and get acquainted with the kiddies?" Maynard asked as he held Beatrice's hand for a moment longer than was actually nec essary. ■certainly hut please let me know beforehand when you are coming, tnat I may be sure to be at home," she sug gested. And. with a bright nod and smile, she went into her apartment, dosing the door softly, that the kid dies” might not be awakened. Her Big Fairy. • When she got into bed little Jean, lying beside her. stretched sleepily and threw one arm about her mother s neck. "I was finking about you in my dweams. muvver," muttered the little girl. And I saw a nice big fairy bwinging you home." "one did’" whispered Beatrice, kiss ing the child. But Jean Was too sleepy to ask for an explanation. CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought tS) Furniture Wives By BEATRICE FAIRFAX. 4Ta <EN marry for fortune and I y/| sometimes to please their faney, but, much oftener than is suspected, they consider what the world will say of It; how such a woman in their friends’ eyes will look at the head of the table. Hence we see so many insipid beauties made wives who could not have struck the particu. lar fancy of any man that had any fan cy at all; as many bu.u furniture and pictures because they suit this or that niche in their dining rooms. These I call FURNITURES WIVES." —Charles Lamb. “I am 25 and deeply in love with a glr] two years my junior. As she is rather stout (about 175 pounds), and I am thin, my friends ridicule the match. I have tried to forget her and break off the engagement, because of this rid icule, but I can not do so, my affection being returned. What shall I do?" It seems that Charles Lamb’s words are as true in this generation as in his. This man loves a woman, but because of the criticisms of his friends would give her up in exchange for a "furniture wife." Having conceded to his friends the right to name her weight, he should concede more, and let them select her complexion, her height and the color of her hair. All these little questions could be settled by a council of his friends, all who come under that category be ing willing to shoulder such respon sibilities. A "furniture wife” would simplify courtship, and relieve it of many of its uncertainties and pangs and expendi tures of time and money. Il would also relieve the man of much of Its joys. And that word ' relieve" is used advisedly when in connection with the sort of man who would be contented with a "furniture wife." But if you, my dear man, are not that kind, you need not let the difference in weight worry you. The difference Is easily adjusted. There is a coqrse of physical train ing which, if followed faithfully, will reduce the girl's weight. There is also a course, entirely dissimilar, which, if followed by you faithfully, will Increase your weight. Make an F.xchanqe. Every pound she drops you will pick up. and in this waj you may hope to attain the desired proportion. If she perseveres, she Will become sylphlike. Zj ANTY V JryWflw L ISk C/yy DRUDGE 1 /I ’ • Anty Drudge Gives a Lesson in Spelling Little Afnry—“F-E-L-S—N-A-P-T-H-A. What does that spell, Anty?” Anty Drudge— “To you, Dearie, it spells just Fels-Naptha, the name of a soap. To your mother and me it spells an easy way of washing clothes in cool or lukewarm water, without boiling or hard rubbing and with a saving of time, labor, bother, discomfort and money. You’ll learn, some day, my child, that it’s a very important word to the housekeeper.” The biggest wjtffnan’s chib in America is the Anti-Drudgery Club. It has more than a million members now. All that’s necessary to belong is to use Fels-Naptha soap and quit drudging on washday. You’ll have no more boiling ot clothes, no bending over steamy suds, no back-breaking rubbing on a washboard in winter or summer. You will be through with your wash ing before you would be well started on the old way. And your clothes will be fresher, cleaner, whiter and sweeter. Fels-Naptha does it. The rules of the club are to be found in the directions for using Fels-Naptha on the back of the red and green wrapper. Follow’them carefully and you’ll save money as well as hard work and bother. Get a cake of Fels-Naptha and join the club to-day. and, if you persevere, you will odd every pound you need to give the right symmetry’ to one of your height. No girl would object to taking such a course, which, in addition to improving her looks, would be of inestimable ben efit to her health. Undoubtedly in that controlling passion where all women have to please the men they love this poor girl has bemoaned her excessive weight many times. But this is also true. I doubt if it has occurred to her that her lover Is a pound too light! When women love, they love beyond criticism. Had her friends laughed at her for loving a man so thin, her love would have leaped up in an angry The maternal instinct, which is the controlling motive in every woman's love, would have prompted her to spring to his defense, and she would have contended with all the might of offended love that his weight was right to an ounce; she would not have it changed a fraction of a pound, and would affirm that, in comparison with him. all other men are gross and beefy. No “Furniture Husbands.” That is the difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman. Had Charles Lamb investigated further he might have added that there are no such creatures as “furniture husbands." No woman ever selected a husband because he would look well at the head of a.table, or match the paper on her parlor wall. This -girl who weighs too much will feel ‘Hurt if you suggest her weight doesh't suit you. Don't do it! Leave the matter of her weight out of the question of your own. You have no lighx to complain she is an ounce i too heavy as long as you are an ounce . too light! Take a course in physical culture, and st i k to it faithfully. When , you have reached the desired figure on the scales, tell her so. 1 Love is quick to take a suggestion, and I do not doubt for a moment that she will be quick to respond She will tell you. without any further Intima- i tion from you, that if physical culture , does so much for you, it will do as , much for her. And she will take it as a means of losing what you are trying to gain. But, whatever you do. 1 beg of you that you show yourself to be so much : of a man your friends will not dare to select you a furniture wife.” The hus ' band of a “furniture wife" misses life's greatest joy. and gets just what he . 'deserves. -