Newspaper Page Text
THE OEOR>aiAM’S MAGAZINE PAGE
It’s a Hard
Life
No. I—Thomas Lands His First Sum
mer Job. With Disastrous Results.
By WEX JONES.
MY name is Thomas Twltmoe. I
am 21 years old and very am bi
lious.
That is why, during the summer,
while I am not in Yarvard. acquiring
knowledge, I am always hunting up jobs
with the object of acquiring money.
Sometimes I think, as we are taught in
college, that knowledge is better than
money, but not very often.
Knowledge will often enable you to
cut out your v friend with some peach,
but nothing will buy her an ice cream
soda except money.
However, as 1 was saying, every sum
mer I hunt up a job that will bring me
in a few plunks, as I have .made up my
mind to become a millionaire. People
say it's easy after you get the first
thousand dollars, but it seems to me
that with a thousand dollars you have
more chances to lose your money. If
you have only $2 you’re not asked to in
vest it in ice farms In Greenland or
prickly pear farms in Honduras.
When you stake your only thousand
dollars and lose it, you're just as broke
as if you’d bet your last dollar and
lost it.
But I must tell you about my first
job.
1 got one as waiter in a* summer
hotel The reason I selected this job
was because waiting seemed so easy
and I had read waiters made as high
as SSO a day in tips. Also when I got
the job the boss told me I could wear
my waiter’s clothes—which the hotel
provided— in the evenings if I wanted
to go io a dance.
The first evening 1 put on the new
evening clothes provided for me and
went down to the dining room
I had three tables to look after, with
about four persons at each table. At
high school 1 had been noted for my
memory. 1 could recite "Horatius at
the Bridge" without stammering once.
So I had no fear about remembering
the orders.
“Corned beef and cabbage and a
glass of buttermilk."
"Let her go twice.”
"Clam chowder, stewed rhubarb and
vanilla ice cream."
“Huckleberry pie and fried eggs and
a cup of coffee.”
"Crullers for two and a single order
of shad roe."
I kept repeating all these order- over
and over to myself on my way back to
the kitchen. I gave the order, and the
chef, with a wild cry, rushed to the
boss, yelling. "Watch him; lie’s crazy;
has he a knife?”
"What’s the matter?” asked the boss.
(pointing to mel rushed up to
me and yelled through the door, ‘Corned
keef and baggage on the ice—clam
showder —let-’er-go—stewed pie and
rhubarb cream—fried pie and buckle
berry eggs’ —disorder of single shad roe
find a cough of cuppee.' "
"Take off my clothes," said the boss.
WOMEN,AVOID
OPERATIONS
Many Unsuccessful And
Worse Suffering Often Fol
lows. Mrs. Rock’s Case
A Warning.
The following letter from Mrs. Orville
Rock will show how unwise it is for wo
men to submit to the dangersof a surgical
operation when often it may be avoided
by taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound. She was four weeks in
the hospital and came home suf
fering worse than before.
Here is her own statement.
Paw Paw, Mich.— “Two years ago II
suffered very severely with a displace
-8..- nient - I could not
b e on my feet f° r 3 :
' onß f’ me - My phy
'WM—■> sician treated me for
v*’ several months with-
A out much relief and
;*?/A <5- I a t, last sent me to
Ann Arbor for an op
. eration. I was there
four weeks and came
fjfaff/ ». Z/ home sufferingworse
.i/7 II i/l a-' III t^ian b t? f° re - M y
2— lLL ——tfi—J mother advised me to
try Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com
pound, and I did. Today lam well and
strong and do all my own housework. I
owe my health to Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and advise my
friends who are afflicted with any female
complaint to try it. ’’ Mrs. ORVILLE
Rock, R. R. No. 5, Paw Paw, Michigan.
If you are ill do not drag along until:
an operation is necessary, but at once
take Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound.
For thirty years it has been the stan
dard remedy for women’s ills, and has
restored the health of thousands of suf
fering women. Why don’t you try it?
I Dr. E. G. Grit
I 24 1-2 Whitehall Street, Over I
PHONE 1708. Hours 8 to 7. Sun
GRAND CAN;
McFarland's Seventh Annual Tour
~fl’ers one solid week of travel through
seven states -and Canada. covering 2..’>00
miles. Including 500 miles by water. vis
iting Cincinnati, Detroit. Buftalo, Niaga
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ndv 8 lu a special Pullman train through
The Bathing Girl of the Rockies * Copyright 1912, National News Association By Nell Brinkley i 3
'v ... a
.. wEBBy - - i--'.
-- - - m 3 WSMfiaiTWA- - ■ ; -s'
- A.-.-L id'^nTT 3 G? -
“A. ’ • X)-' • ---a' VA-S:
l X _ : 2: -
Cannon-Balling It Down the Toboggan.
Ol I in the West, my “own country. ’’ down in a deep, green valley, tucked
away between high slopes, on whose tops the red deer graze, tucked away
where two wild, loud mountain rivers join hands and voices and go jollily on
together, there s a bright, green, sun-tilled pool set like an emerald, in a stone
bottomed. stone-walled stpiare. Yon lit tie maids who have the great, gray ocean
| to dip your little pink toes in might sniff at my warm, pretty, green pool—anyhow,
I know von'll call it dinkv—but that's because von don't know it. It flows from
Il ———
eg eg eg “The Gates of Silence” go go go
Meta Simmins, Author of “Hushed Ufr
i , :
A Strange Remark.
: "Eccentric, but perfectly straight.”
The words occurred to Rimington now as
be looked at the man from his vantage
point at the back of the court, where
I he observed without v being observed, and
I they seemed ’ extraordinarily inappro
priate. Any one bss deserving of the
adjective it would have been hard to im
agine. Mr. Saxe had this morning, pos
| sibly out of respect for the melancholy
I occasion, discarded his invariable wear of
I light gray and was clad in the eonvention
| al garb of the city man, which appeared
Iby some subtle process to have trans
: muted the elusive, un-English element in
, his appearance to a depressing respecta
I bility The ladies of the audience for
! to Rimington this crowd was essentially
| one In search of entertainment must
I have been considerably disappointed in
! the appearance of the man of whose
'looks and millions $«• many flattering and
fantastic tales were told No shopkeep
er with a comfortable suburban residence
I from which he sallied forth to church
i twice o’ Sundays at the head of a rising
I family could have looked more prosaic.
Glancing at Saxe where he sat. with
I head bent ovfjr letters that had evi
dently been gathered up and carried away
fin’c Gate Ci *yg
1118 Dental Rooms
Brown & Alien's Drug Store. ■
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t Se< f - stn $5.00 |
\ Imp j^ions—Teeth Same Day.
A ESTABLISHED 22 YEARS.
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Bridge Work, $4.00 |
nday 9to 1. Lady Attendant.
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Send for free picture of Niagara Falls and
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ager, 41'1. Peachtree st.. Atlanta, Ga ,
Phone Main 4sax.j
from 'he office from which he had come
to perform this public duty. Rimington
. was forceck to acknowledge to himself
that the man was an enigma. He did
mu like him; he could not, for all his
effort, achieve anything more than the
most chilly of intellectual faith in him,
although Saxe had fulfilled his promise of
, giving a perfectly lucid and satisfactory
explanation of his concern in the night’s
tragedy at Tempest street. The financier
had indeed lie recognized this —treated
him with a frankness and a confidence
- that might quite excusably have flattered
an older and more experienced man. Yet,
for all that. Rimington’s abiding impres
sion was of something secret and close
lipped a man of granite, who. in the
i old phrase, used “words to conceal his
thoughts.''
A Staggering Story.
Take the man's explanation of his rea
son f<»r asking him to call at Tempest
street, for instance
“It's a fairly staggering story 1 warn
I you that." Saxe had said. “It heats
me, man of the world that I am I look
to you, as Miss Betty’s fiance, to give
light on the subject. Why was she in
such desperate need for money You
deny that she was but I know that she
asked me to lend her two thousand
pounds on a matter of life and death, and.
for all we know, her acquaintance with
• l-’itzstephen may have had its rise in
some such negotiation. I tell you quite
l frankly that is why, in the first ln
[ stance, I wrote asking you to call that
night It seemed to ‘me possible that
you might be at the bottom of matters.
I knew your resources, and the engage
ment had startled me, I admit. Os
course, the moment 1 spoke to Miss Betty
face io face 1 realized how utterly my
shall F call it envious spirit?—had misled
me There was some secret behind it—
s<>mc very ugly secret that has nothing
earthly to do with a lover.”
! Sitting there in the crowded court,
with the droning buzz of the alert faced
I coroners voice in his ears. Rimington
fell his face redden curiously, as It had
I not reddened when Saxe had spoken to
I him as they sai together in the low
ceilinged room of the shop in Westmin
ster Then he had been almost too
r stunned to take in the full meaning of
this suspicion, so ingenuously admitted.
But now
A stagegring story bls brain reeled
1 with the shock of It Betty in need
of money Betty going at night time to
this man’s rooms to borrow two thou
•and pound-- Betty acquainted with the
dead usurer Betty as he had seen her
yesterday in the guy garden ul the house
.at Weybourne. The various facts and
scenes whirled and shifted in Rimington’s
brain like the changing patterns of a
kaleidoscope.
Betty and that unsavory brute. Fitz
i stephen! It was unthinkable that there
could be any connection between the two.
’ Yesterday he had given the lie direct to
Saxe with a good'' heart' Today 0 Saxe's
> story had been so curiously’ explicit ; how.
hearing the girl had been shown upstairs
1 to Fltzstephen's room by mistake, and
i knowing the manner of man he was, he
I had hurried up to intercept a scene. His
, tongue had drawn a vivid picture for
Rimington; the half-intoxicated usurer
and the weeping girl facing each other in
■ the lamplit room across a table heaped
with jewels
“The great ruby was not among them,
Mr. Rimington.” Saxe's voice had taken
on a curious note when he spoke. “For
the great ruby was. as I could plainly
see, for all her little artifice, in Miss
Betty's hand. Afterward, in my own
room, when she thought my attention was
; otherwise engaged. I saw her, in the mir
ror that hangs above my table, slip it
Into her bag. That was the reason I re
fused to lend her the money that night.
1 Indeed. I could hardly give you a log'cal
reason why I refused. But I did. I think
at the back of my mind there was a fear
lest th* notes might in any way Merlin*
Inate her."
A staggering story , indeed still, so far
1 as Saxe was concerned, a perfectly piausi
• ble one.
If Betty’ could only speak' But Betty's
lips were sealed.
He had seen both Mrs Barrington and
the doctor on his visit to Weybourne
yesterday. Dr. Hardfiigc was an inti
mate friend who had known Betty since
she was a baby and loved her. The old
man had been shocked and puzzled; Mrs.
1 Barrington was like a woman in a dream.
Betty's illness lay like a black cloud of
' horror over the house this illness that
was so singularly of mind only, and not
• of body, and that had been caused by
1 some unknown horror that no one there
1 who loved her could so much as guess ar.
The Doctor’s Decision.
' The child is suffering from mental
shock that has acted on the delicate tls-
• sues of the brain as a physical blow’ might
have done. the doctor told him. “All
remembrance of the past year of her Hf»
seems to have disappeared to have been
sponged out. as a child wipes figures from
a slate.'
i There had been tears In the old do<
tor’s eyes as he spoke, there was a mist
• before Rimington’s now that shut out the
picture of the crowded court room, with
the impassive coroner writing al his ia
the always boiling heart of the mountain that leans above it, and when the snow
blankets its stone lips, its water is as warm as a timid maiden's bath, and this
time o' the year, this June time o’ the year, you'd tind, if you looked in on the
green pool, a drove of pretty little girls with faces that would lighten up your
old heart considerable, wreathing its edges about, driving their way through its
green Hood, and cannon-balling it down the toboggan that curves a graceful length
from the tree-tops to the brink. Just the same little mermaids that ride the At
(antic's old gray sea horses.
ble. the row of unintelligent fa« es nf the
jury . the windows behind them, with their
hint of waving greenery. Betty the girl
he loved, wlm. on that golden day by
the river, had given herself to him. for
■ whom he had worked and striven and
achieved —like a child, but without a
> child s future; a woman without a yester
i day or a tomorrow !
The thought crushed him; it was like a
' great black cloud, it shut out all other
considerations his doubts, his fear for
. her safety, his uncertainty. And yester
. day he had glibly spoken of demanding
. satisfaction from the man he believed
( was responsible for this wreckage of the
I barque of a girl's life. Satisfaction!
His lips curled slowly in a bitter smile
His fingers clenched ami unclenched. He
• was thankful, as men are thankful who
1 are waked from the ugly horror of a
nightmare dream, w-hen a stir in the court
told him that the principal case of the
1 day was about to begin.
To Be Continued Tomorrow
i
SD Hl
111 iwW
“HAIR THAT GIVES FATHER TIME
THE LAUGH”
Kt are just about as old as we LOOK
People judge us, by the way we LOOK.
Thc-man or woman with grey hair is be- !
ginning to get in the “Old Timer’s Class.’’
This Twentieth Century does NOT want
GREY hairs-it wants the energy of Youth.
The big things are being done by the
YOUNGER generation.
There’s a sort of "Has Been" look
about thone “Grey Hairs." There is always
one to criticise and smile scornfully.
bather Time is a stern disciplinarian.
Get the best of him. Give him the laugh.
Do not be a “ Has Been. ’ ’lt’s unnecessary.
Use HAY S HAIR HEALTH
H 00 and 50c at Drug Stores or direct upon receipt
of price and deafer A name: Send 10c for trial
hottie.—Philo Hay Specialties Co.. Newark. N. J.
FOR sALt hND RECOMMENDED
j BY JACOBS PHARMACY.
Health Note.
A iiisdi<-a| paper clainia that a ricnJ
list's fingers carry disease germs.
Moral—Boil your dentist.
Cutting down the
household expenses
With food prices soaring skyward the house
wife needs an elastic allowance—or must
buy more wisely. This doesn’t mean buy
ing cheaper meats, but buying less meat.
Fill its place with
FAUST
BRAND
SPAGHETTI
A 5c package of Faust Spaghetti will give a generous
helping to five persons. And they won't require meat,
for they get all the nourishment from spaghetti that
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least once a week. Your grocer sells it in 5c and 10c
packages. Write for our free booklet of Faust Recipes
MAULL BROS.
St. Louis, Mo.
Daysey Mayme
and Her Folks
By FRANCES L. GARSIDE.
WHEN a great man leaves his
little home town to visit in a
big city he shrinks, and shrinks,
and shrinks, until when he enters it he
isn t any bigger than a fly trying to
get through a screen door.
In the same w'ay some men who are
important and of some influence dow-n
town shrink and shrink, and shrink on
nearing wife and home until, like the
flies, they are so small they could al
most creep through a crack when they
get there.
The description fits Lysander John
Appleton. whose words are of some
weight down town, and of no weight
in his own family.
It makes little difference to his wife
and daughter that he also has opinions.
He is never permitted to air them at
home.
When the spirit of Mental Unrest
seizes him he is denied the outlet of
addressing Uplift clubs and societies.
The best he can do is to chew the end
of a stubby little pencil and write his
Important Discoveries on the backs of
leceipted bills found in his pockets.
He recently chewed out the following
Definitions of M ords and Expressions,
which he would disclose to the world
if he were only bold enough.
Lysander John’s Conclusions.
j Hospitality—Nothing more than
loneliness.
Inimitable—A word commonly used
j to flatter a woman, and which invaria
■ bly pleases her, though she doesn’t
| know what it means.
Dim. religious light—A poetic and
I dignified way of saying the windows
j need washing.
Endless grind—Expression women
. use to describe housework, though a
more modern expression would be,
"The housekeeper's marathon.”
Something up his sleeve—An expres
sion used to denote all sorts of mys
tery. though the only thing any man
ever had up his sleeve is an undershirt
that won’t come down.
Romantic drama Something In
which it is impossible to interest any
man who has a wife and a lot of
children to support.
\ ivacious—Used to refer to those we
I like In speaking of those we dislike,
i "garrulous" is better.
Love—That state of mind which
changes a young man’s idea of music
| from a steam calliope to a guitar.
Mantle of night—Depends upon a
whether it is a night shirt or
pajamas.
The good old times—A period many
years ago. when a woman could get a
hired girl for $1.50 a week, and the girl
stayed with her as long as ten years.
Wistful eyed—Of feminine gender
only. When a man feels that way he is
called a grouch, a beast or a sorehead.
Never "wistful eyed.”
Hilarity—The sensation a thief ex
periences when he reads in the morn
ing paper that the dollar watch" he
stole the night before is valued at five
hundred dollars.
For Protection.
Small Nephew—Uncle, why do you
always take a dog with you when you
go shooting; are you afraid of the rab
bits?
A Suffragette Proposal.
Hr took her hand. "Oh, pray be mine. M
"Not much!" said Bess •
"May I,” he meekly asked, "be thins?"
She answered, “Yes!”