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\ . I “Many a millionaire has begun - ■ V.\\ \ as a ‘b°°b’ and finished as a jflpMlEpak \v\W ‘ *wise one* under the training of 77 | \mviA aP.P.of B. (Perfect Peach of L —J \VaM Broadway),*’ says Ethel , HB Z - Mg Z X \Z\ \ Amorita Kelley. J ' ■‘"■7s3 1 »». 1 Z z / /r y / ATr 111 xrZ _ B BA MM x x Z 111 /nf/c EoWIb JWMBM 7 » x 1 ill IM fr J ▼ M jMtfSHwW wP&> 75&?igax±. -sx? r •A/.P’*? t ■'==// x. * MKu * ' - > <■ J \ W W ; ; *WA vAsJxA VJ/ v . J I w . / . „, _. , p— _ Kv < / J ur y Considers the I / /A* A\ °f a Youth - S II 7'\ yd Who Being Left a TV|B ///.I' .-/n Million / PAAtI Preferred to Gild S' / / V' z / Xx4vx His Native “ Wt ■ /*' I XA'ir.iX\zA< Health Rather . I. ' Than ■ I A 'jK" - I Further \ f I \ I lnn^na l (> M|K / | Ar—-_z W \ / / Broadway M|k £ \ / 1^ ♦‘'OKx xA. i pN ' ,! - \ MbißOk. ••\ </ / ? \. \ r- •••- < V Wt \ Wirt V ■' ol \ \ J ,-®. ) I® : O x> \ HWO- • w i \ | -r / )\\ yzzz~n_zrrz Jr A -i ■ «■• „ i <2 -ZXr > UO i NOW TO BE A REAL'SPtNDEK' /'A Z * ) \ Owl W- \ z M'- £>& ‘ > ■ ww ' < / / ***** M * [ wk v / 1 t -. < i V z \ • *'p \ / v. i ' \ I / YA ( v^-> -r u j A' ' \ z e«r»j w /»•-. ~ y I (*4ITC **~f' Z* 1 N\ t"-' J,., ~ ' .' ,;,, —T— -’! J> 1F- '% 1 . !<i i Jane Warrington Wanta Her Voice Trained in Gay Pare*. (.' bove) Ethel Atnorita Kelley Who Suggest* Speed , Motor Through Tiffany’* Shop Window. Her $1,000,000 Voice Needs Training. By JANE WARRINGTON. L:STEN here, Simon, dear, I want me voice pulled, I mean trained. “Me voice is me fortune, sir,” I she said. But nobody will believe it unless the news comes from Pans, signed Jean de Reszke. I wouldn’t mention it on such short acquaintance, Simon, dear, but for my feeling of responsibility about your sad Atlantic Highlands case. All of us Broad way girls feel the same way—only you don’t need to bother about the others. Say, Simon darling, do you know what it costs to have your voice pull I mean trained, in Paris? Verb, sap. Meaning, in the vernacular of my dear old alma mater, a word to the wise Millionaire Kid is sufficient B IMAGINE the consternation cre ated along New York's Gay White Way by the news that a young man who unexpectedly in herited a million dollars is wasting his time —and money—in Atlantic Highlands, N. J. Can such things be? And with the lobster palaces of the show girls' paradise almost visible to him across the Upper and Lower Bay, landmarked by the light in the Met ropolitan Tower? Suffering footlights'. Atlantic Highlands to monopolize the latest Millionaire Kid! Wouldn’t it jar you? Treating village maidens to ice cream sodas at tne drug store Playing checkers in front of the livery stable in the afternoons, and leading a wild life at. the moving picture show in the evening—with Broadway and Forty-second street. Rector’s, Tiffany's, and the Flo Zieg feld’ thirsty tamed beauties within easy and graceful access by the Long Branch boat! Well, well! Just listen to these sentiments of Miss Ethel Amorita Kelley. Miss Elsie Hamilton, Miss Flo Hart and Miss Jane Warrington. New York prize beauty chorus girls, impanelled as jury to sit on ‘he case of Simon Daniel Paddock, Mil lionaire Kid of Atlantic Highlands, printe in another column on this page. When Simon Paddock was nine teen he was the chauffeur for he Mayor of Atlantic Highlands. I-Ie was poor but happy. Now Simon Paddock is twenty, and, as he com plains, they “part his name in the middle.” You see, a millionaire un cle of his left to Simon and Simon’s brother and sister his fortune. Young Mr Paddock says he Is “Home, James—to Tiffany’s.” By EDITH AMORITA KELLEY. OH, what a simple Simon! What a modest re tiring Millionaire Kid! But he needn’t feel bashful any more over his mistake about At lantic Highlands We’ll welcome him just as warmly as though he came direct from Pittsburgh. Just let him bring ‘nat million with him and all will be forgiven. We won’t detain him long on Broadway, either, which w'ould be unkind, as he wants to be an inventor like his father. You can figure that in about a month or six weeks he’ll be busy Inventing some way to pay his board at the rate of five dollars a week back in Atlantic Highlands. I’m sure he’s a nice, quiet young man and de serves to be encouraged So I’m willing to assist him In a perfectly original Millionaire Kid act that will shorten his suspense and make all others look like pikers.* With the regular lobster and bubble water course as a starter, we’ll pick out the most expensive six cylinder limousine luxury they have for sale along Automobile Row, and then, "Home, James,” home neaning Tiffany’s. "Aha,’’ I seem to hear you ex- Haim, ‘she’s already picked out that diamond tarara. ’ Forget it—nothing so piking. Getting up good speed down F.fth avenue, ws’ll motor, bang! right through Tiffany's best sun-burst lined plate glass show window, and al! the twink.ers afraid the money will spoil him. “I wanted to be an inventor like my father. 1 was working out a de- ice for increasing the speed of automo biles But now I’m rich 1 can't get time to work. I'm too nusy attend ing to my correspondence. Yes, part of it’s business letters, but a lot of it's fool letters Women write me that they love me. How does ‘ a woman who lives in Arizona know whether she loves me, but this one from Cactus town says she’ll die unless I marry her. Guess she might as well stake out her burial lot." “A lot of Atlantic i ighlajiders have tied up in a combine to part me from my money because, they say ‘He’ll be an idiot and find his way to Broadway and burn up his mone.v ther~ anvway. We might as well have it.’ So they get together and try to pluck me “First they nab this white car of mine that I call Daisy, because she can run ighty miles an hour: they arrest me for speeding when I’ve never driven more than twenty-five miles an hour in mv life Every time I get into the white car I say to myselt I'm going to be arrested— and I never disappoint myself Either I’m arrested for speeding when I’m not. or my license has been out for five minutes anti they take me in. “A man can come from New York and ride aronnd Jersey as much as he likes, but not Simon Paddock. ‘Nay. nay.’ They’ve pushed me till I'm blue. “By- Ger.-ge, you may not believe me. but some highbinder stole the tools from my car and then brought them around and tried to sell them back to me. that fly into the car and drape the running gn ar wi’l belong to little Ethel! s ar win present’ ‘° th ' nk ° f anything e,se ’’.st at “Wanted—a Dress of Yellow Backs” By ELISE HAMILTON. DON’T worry, Simon, about that Atlantic High hinds mistake—Broadway’s still on the Why. there was a Millionaire Kid once who came on from the West in a private car with his mind full of skyscrapers and the high places along the White Way, who dropped asleep just this side ' \ Eli,at-,.,. N .... and „ y yelling. “New-Ark!”- Porter Believe me. that Kid grabbed his bag and jumped off before any one could stop him. A minute It he was gazing at the top of a six-story building nn Market street saying to himself: “Gosh' Ne w Y k sure a wonder!" It was a week before he could be pried loose from that Jersey burg. But once he S1 the Flatiron Building, the rest was easy. He J out a real credit to himself. But this gold-lined Simon ought to be told at one that progress rules the age. The day is paßt a Millionaire Kid can distinguish mimself by the usual Broadway lobster and bubble stuff route. And that reminds me that I can do him a good turn —with kind “When 1 was just Sim Paddock nobody ever bothered me. I had all the letting alone I wanted. Now I'm never alone a minute. I’m al ways stumbling over people They get under my feet. Some night I expect to go home and find one of tiie grafters in my bed. They’re after me to lend them money on a mortgage or cn nothing. “They take me for a slot machine that works the other way—pours out money because it’s out of or der.’’ Yes, Simon Daniel Paddock is on happy-, so unhappy that he would rather be the . Mayor’s chauffeur than to be pointed at. by people whose eyes bulge, as “the Million Dollar Kid.” ‘ Killing time," he says, is the most laborious occupation on earth. “At my rate he can’t go into a store because prices will jump at sight of him. He used to like soda water, but he avoids soda water fountains now because somebody is sure to suggest a. new mixture that costs a quarter. But his troubles as a millionaire are nearly over. He has only to act upon the advice of the chorus girl jury in order to quite suddenly acquire all the solitudfe and obscur ity his soul craves. Mr. Simon Daniel Paddock’s ca«e is being considered on Broadway It is a competent jury Ethel Amor ita Kelley, you remember, is the fair maid who has made the Busch fam in anxlous test Adolph HI. should bring an actress into the iamiiy Elise Hamilton is famed along Broadway for her beautv Jane v arrington Is one of the belles ■f Broad ..ay. All have seriously con sidered the situation of Simon Dan iel. formerly “Sim.” Paddock, and render verdicts as here printed jj&Z i **%OWW* ' ► KaSuL A I ~ S’ t t-Y H * »< ’'l M Wl|gg|'X . - ax# fW wli •.... K W- ■P" IJH ' t. At - J ■>- : 1 ; ... B;. .- -A-A ■ s t?’’' ' W - a, ; z' . BiiKSZ ■ ■ ’ ; ' iftf iWWIw v Fli»e Hamilton, Who Recommends a of “Yellow Backs.” permission or Flo Ziegfeld. You see. it’s sc hard co make people believe that my •econa act dress cost S9OO. What I suggest is -.nat Simon turnlsn the material to make me a dress all of yellow backs. Then if people wont pa- lleve I’m one expensive dresser, all I have to do n to turn around slowly and say: Well, if you don’t take my tally just court me up for yourself. BelHva me, a little stunt like this will send Simon ringing down tne ages.