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THE OEOBGIAN’S MAGAZINE PAGE
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THE Boa Hat is the very latest invention of the feather merchant and
milliner, and it is likely to be more popular than either of them
hoped for because it is vastly becoming. The big feather boa wound
about the crown of a wide velvet hat and falling over its rim at. one side
winds about the neck in regular boa fashion. It is very decorative, ami com
bines all the good features of the autumn millinery. The wide low feather
trimming, the droop at the side and the collarette around the neck, which
is necessary for the woman whose frocks and coats have flat turn-down
collars.
. Up-to-Date Jokes
“How do you tell those twin sisters
apart?”
"Why, when you kiss one of them she
always threatens to tell ma, and the
other one always says she’ll tell pa,”
Margaret—lsn't that strange?
Katherine —What?
Margaret-—That many a woman who
has bleached her hair wants to keep it
dark.
Lady of House—What caused you to
become a tramp?
Ragged Rogers-—The fam’ly physi
cian, mum. He advised me to take long
walks after me meals, and I've been
walking after ’em ever since.
The American —Wliy did you leave
your Italian hills?
The ex-Brigand—Too taine. Why. I
only killed two people a month there,
but since I became a chauffeur it's a
poor month when I can't land twenty in
the hospital.
A woman who liked to pose as a wit
sat at dinner between a bishop and a
rabbi.
“I feel as if I were a leaf between
the Old and the New Testaments,” she
said to the rabbi.
“Yes, madam,” he replied; “that page
is usually a blank one.”
"Even a policeman can’t arrest the
flight of time,” said the funny man.
“Oh, I don’t know,” rejoined the mat
ter-of-fact person. “Only this morning
I saw a policeman enter a side door
and stop a few minutes.”
r do not take
Substitutes or imitations
Get the Well-Known ’C
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fHRS MALTED MILK
kill il N FtFiK Made in the largest, best
equipped and sanitary Malted
Milk plant In the world
We do not make 'milk products’—
Skim Milk, Condensed Milk- etc.
But the Original-Genuine
HORLICK ’ S malted m,lk
Made from pure, full-cream milk
and the extract of select malted grain,
MiLK Rg? reduced to powder form, soluble in
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FOR “HORLICK’S”
Used all over the Globe
The moat economical and nourishing light lunch.
“There ought tn be only one head to
every household.” shouted the orator.
“That’s true.” replied a worried-look
ing man in the audience.
“You agree with me?” shouted the
speaker.
“I do.” roared the worried-looking
man. “I’ve just paid for hats for nine
daughters.”
Two or three young men were ex
hibiting with great satisfaction the re
sults of a day's fishing, whereupon the
young woman remarked very demurely;
“Fish go In schools, do they not ?”
"I believe they do. But why do you
ask ?”
“Oh, nothing; only 1 was just think
ing that you must have broken up an
infants class.”
There are those in Scotland —and
elsewhere —who appreciate the of
a generous marriage portion.
“Mae. I heard ye was courtin’ bonny
Kate MacPherson,” said Donald to an
acquaintance one morning.
“Weel, Sandy, man. I was in love wl’
tile bonny lass," was Mac’s reply, “but I
fund oot she had nae siller, so I said to
myself’, ‘Mac, be a man.’ And I was
a man; and non I pass her by wl’ silent
contempt.”
Maude was home from college.
“Will you,” she said to her mother,
“pass me my diminutive argenteous
truncated cone, convex on its summit,
and semi-perforated with symmetrical
indentations ?”
She was asking for her thimble.
Be Sure to Begin the Neu) Serial With Today's Installment
BROADWAY JONES •
Based on George M. Cohan’s Great Play Now Running in New York
(Copyright, 1912. by George M. Cohan.)
By BERTRAND BABCOCK.
PART I.
IN the largest, but at the same time
the most secluded of the private din
ing rooms of Speary’s, “Broadway”
Jones was giving one of his celebrated
“dinners with a punch.”
The preparations had been moat elab
orate and tha precautions equally care
fully made. The costly Venetian mir
rors, wliioh had reflected many a smiling,
even many a leering face, had been re
moved from the walls, and their places
taken by cheaper ones of American-made
glass. But as most of these mirrors were
to be seen but dimly as vistas through
tiny forests of maidenhair ferns, glowing
amilax and potted plants, the substitu
tion was more real than apparent.
It was to such far-sighted vision and
psychological penetration that Henri
Speary owed the comfortable fortune
that had followed the spreading of the
knowledge through Manhattan that at
Speary’s “one could enjoy one's self and
even be—a little—boisterous.”
"A leetle rough house,” confided M.
Henri to his head waiter, “a leetle rough
house, but without waste."
So it was that the supper or dinner
parties whose members wished to shatter
M. Henri's mirrors did so without other
consequences than that the astute res
taurateur added to their bill the cost
of the Venetian glass which had reposed
during the storm in his store rooms.
A TYPICAL COMPANY.
The company which this night had
seemed to M. Henri to warrant the sub
stitution of the mirrors was typical of the
larger body which in five years had made
Jackson Jones "Broadway.” About each
of these glided youths who seek the
fountain of life beneath .the lights of the
serpent way them clusters and circles a
myriad of human inse. is. some with the
beauty of the butterfly, some with the
annoyance of the plain house fly, and
some with the sting of the mosquito.
So tonight it was as though each of
these elements of the life the youth of
25 known as “Broadway” ehose, had
selected its delegation to represent it at
the "dinner with the punch." “Broad
way” himself would have told you that
he knew every actor, every chorus girl,
every newsboy, and every wine agent on
Broadway. He had bought the knowledge
and the acquaintance with the only coin
current on the thoroughfare. So repre
sentatives of some of these castes were
in Speary’s. But there were also pres
ent certain of those whose position is un
defined-amphibians—half in the pool of
Bohemia and half on the dry land of a
more regular society. There were in
the private room, too, certain of the real
friends of the youth whose cut was car
ried in stock in all the newspaper of
fices which delighted in “white light”
"stories.’*
One of the latter, Bob Wallace, a young
advertising man, sat next to the malicious
Mrs. Presbrey, and smiled slightly at h?r
cutting remarks, without more than oc
casionally replying to them.
“I wonder what the particular punch is
which will finish this dinner," said Mrs.
Presbrey. “You remember last time it
was ginrikishaws filled with champagne,
in which the men wheeled the women
down Fifth avenue at 6 o’clock in the
morning.”
SURE TO BE STARTLING.
"Depend upon it.” said Wallace, good
naturedly, “it will be something equally
if not mores tartllng. Do you see how
thoughtful Broadway is? He's meditat
ing something."
Mrs. Presbrey looked, and it was as
Wallace had said. The head crowned
with darkly yellow hair was slightly
bowed and about the alert, rather Celtic,
features of the youth credited In the
newspapers with the squandering of mil
lions. there was a gleam, accentuated by
a smile which an alert novelist might
have called sad.
But if Broadway Jones' head was low
ered his eyes were observant enough. In
them was a depth of calculation, a little
resentment and again a. settled determina
tion. From the little table at which he
sat with five or six babblers he was look
ing across to another small table at
which the most striking figure was a
woman. Mrs. Beatrice iJames) Gerard
was no longer young. She might very
well have indeed passed for a very eld
erly mother of Broadway, hut she was a
widow, and it was said that she had in
herited at least three millions from each
of her three husbands. I’pon her cheek
was a scar which malice said had been
made when she was undiplomatic enough
to interrupt with a hatpin the saving of
the last of her husbands.
But despite the scar Mrs. Gerard's
money was perfectly genuine and she did
not lack for friends and even a sort of
standing in the circle which she was af
fecting at the present moment.
It was at Mrs. Gerard that Broadway
was staring with, one hand partly thrust
Into his lower waistcoat pocket. Broad
wav waved aside a sort of resolve he had
formed while to himself he mumbled:
"If she were Eve divorce would have
come into the world with Adam.”
A PERTINENT NOTE.
But Mrs. Gerard apparently was not
aware of the continued scrutiny of the
youth, for In a. moment more a waiter
handed him a note in her cramped and
angular fist. He read:
“Why do you stare at me so?
"BEATRICE GERARD."
I “One moment,” said Jones to the waiter
while he hung over the note with eyes
that seemed about to bulge from their
sockets as the overwhelming force on an
idea which had come to htm. From the
richly embossed menu. a. copy of which
every guest had found at his plate, he
tore a partially blank page. He wrote:
"Because I love you.
"BROADWAY."
As he watched the man glide hack to
the place in the rear of Mrs. Gerard's
chair he was visibly agitated. His hands
trembled, his foot nervously tapped the
floor and great drops of perspiration stood
out on his forehead. It did not seem the
agitation of the lover, but rather that of
a man who has staked all that he has
and much that he lias not on the turn of
a card But the dinner had nearly ap
proached the "case” stage, and his com
panions at table engrossed in champagne
and flirtation had no eyes for him at that
moment.
He saw bls <|ivlnll' read his note, then
I put one aged, withered hand over her
eye- Then 'ic didn’t dare look It
eiiue.i an ukl betore the waller returned
and laid at his elbow a scrap of paper,
folded fantastically, even coquettishly. He
saw in trembling wavery characters:
“I love you. too. BEATRICE.”
With an apprehensive face that ill ac
corded with the fervor of his pencil he
answered:
"Not as much as I love you.”
His communication brought him from
that far away table a sickly smile, a
death’s head symphony of age giddy with
the emotions of youth. For a moment his
eyes fell beneath it, then with fists clench
ed so that nails cut into the palms of his
hands he met it and smiled In his turn.
The next communication from the aging
goddess via the waiter route was:
"Will you marry me*” BEATRICE.
Almost upsetting tire table Broadway
leaped to his feet. Some champagne
glasses did Indeed roll in fragments on the
floor. The while every eye in the room
was turned upon him, and every retina
there recorded his swift emphatic down
ward gesture of the arm. he shouted:
"Yes.”
Instantly the room was filled with the
clamor of many voices speaking at once
-each to its neighbor.
"The punch at last.” said Mrs. Pres
brey. •
Then she looked for young Wallace,
but he had vanished some moments be
fore.
There succeeded silence as profound as
the babel had been vigorous a moment
before Expectation was written on
every face. Out of the silence arose a
woman's voice, the high-pitched tremu
lous falsetto tone of Mrs. Gerard, who
was half on her feet.
"I feel just like a little twittering bird
In the tree top.” she cried, and then fell
over backward to the floor apparently in
a dead swoon.
Swift were the rescuers. Nine millions
of dollars in a woman's hands may Have
wings, but while it lasts It also puts
wing.- to the feet of others. Women
rushed to Mrs. Gerard, men tried to
push past them, some one called for a
physician, others for brandy, while still
others, sodden with wine, stood agitated
ly at their chairs, and then drank the
dregs from their glasses, there seeming
nothing else to do.
But if the feel of some of the diners
| had wings, those of Broadway Jones
seemed planted in twin automobiles of
greatest horsepower. Through the press
, of men and women he passed without ap-
I parent effort. It was his hand which
raised Mrs. Gerald’s head from the floor,
his knee upon which it was pillowed,
while he placed smelling salts beneath
the woman's slightly tinted nose.
"It was so sudden, poor dear,” he said,
with just the slightest hint of his old
humor in his eyes, and would not say
more.
A doctor augmented without displacing
the youth, who still supported Mrs. Ger
ard. Soon she opened her eyes. Broad
way Jones' mind had phrased the words
before her lips uttered them.
“Where am I?” she murmured.
As best he could from his half-squat
ting position on the floor, he put bis
young arms about the angular time
gouged form.
“Here, dearest, In my arms, safe where
you belong, little Beatrice,” he said, so
that an ever-widening circle about him
heard and repeated to those on the out
skirts.
There was again a merciful interval
which was hidden by the outspread skirts
of the women. Then, finally, Mrs. Ger
ard was led to her place, while, calm and
alert, at her side stood Broadway Jones,
waiting for order to he restored.
In response to his gestures the com
pany found, if not their old seats, new
ones, which they drew as near to Mrs.
Gerard’s table as possible.
Then, at last, Broadway spread out his
arms in a gesture for silence. He got it
immediately. He sat down and a young
lawyer, a friend, took his place.
“My friends," said lie, "we have seen
many things together, have shared many
experiences* Now, we’re going to share
a great happiness. Our guest, I may
well say, our guest of honor, Mrs. Gerard,
begs to announce her engagement to
marry Mr. Jackson Jones.”
At first there was only an astonished
ripple, to be succeeded a moment later
by bursts of laughter. This in its turn
was ■. followed by a blending of softer
merriment, the mingling of congratula
tions anti polite sprightliness, when peo
ple began to reflect that after all this
might be one of those "punches” with
which the name of Broadway Jones had
been associated.
But merriment unbounded returned
when from the far end of the room cam*
a piece of the grotesque, from which
even the most thoughtless might have
drawn a sinister shade. A white-haired
man. with a champagne glass in his hand,
arose and waved it aloft. He was recog
nized as an intimate of the Gerard fam
ily, and of the age precisely of Mrs. Ger
ard's second husband—that is to say, of
her own age. His hoary head brought
into striking relief the great difference
in the ages of the pair whose "happi
ness” had just been announced.
“A health to the bride! A health to
the bride'" he shouted.
Then at a signal from him. repeated
by the pallid Broadway Jones, files of
waiters swiftly appeared with great mag
nums of champagne, cooled in Huge sil
ver palls. Ender the deft efforts of the
serving men, the foaming wine flowed in
unrestrained rivers.
Then began the maddest period of the
| night, which justified all of the precau
tions of M. Henri. Upon an improvised
dais, made by heaping chairs upon chairs
and covering ail with oriental rugs, they
set Broadway Jones and his antique
divinity, while they crowned them with
chaplets made front the flowery table dec
orations. t
It was a season of hilarious frenzy,
and as gradually the torrents and cas
cades of wine swept away the coherence
of speech, words lost their meaning,
their sound, and became merely so many
laughs, so that in the end the chief sign
of merriment issued alone from every
mouth. These, uniting, became but a
single vibration which made to tremble
the window panes, and seemed to send out
over the < it.v an intangible, menacing ra
diatlon whose root was not in sanity.
CASTOR IA
Tor Infant* and Children.
Th« Kind You Havi Always Bought
It was & o'clock in the morning when
twenty grave but unsteady-legged youths,
whistling the wedding march from Lo
hengrin, escorted to his house Broad
way Jones, still crowned with flowers and
weeping and laughing convulsively tn
turn.
A FRIEND'S EFFORT.
Close to the hour at which Robert Wal
lace had left Broadway's dinner, a cer
tain astute personage connected with
Speary’s, but whose official title was
not "press agent," had gone to one of
Speary’s telephones. He had called six or
seven numbers, among them 2000 Beek
man. 4000 Beekman and 2200 Beekman.
Soon after his series of conversations,
several keen-eyed young men were watch
ing the scene in the private dining room
from corners of hallways and balconies.
So it was that the next morning Wal
lace, in an idle moment after closing a
contract, read a fairly accurate account
of what had occurred at the now famous
dinner after he had left. Long as he
had known Broadway Jones, the "stories”
astounded him. Like many of the guests
of the previous night, he had thought
that here was merely another of the
famous “punches.” The next moment he ■
had put the joking possibilities aside and I
was certain that Broadway was out of I
his senses. He finished by not knowing I
what to think and took the subway to ■
tlie house which Jones had rented at j
the commencement of making his name.
Rankin, the butler, had read (he pa
pers. too, but he had little to add to
what Wallace already knew. He had ad
mitted Jones in the morning and had
been told that as the day was Thursday
Broadway was not be called until Satur
day.
Wallace sent Rankin to his master.
The butler reported back that he had
aroused Broadway, the latter had called
for the newspapers and a whisky sour,
and was even then dressing.
While in a bitter state of mind. Wal
lace sat waiting, there was an agitated
ring of the doorbell.
"If It’s a newspaper reporter, tell him
that Mr. Jones is out of town.” ordered
Wallace
MRS. GERARD CALLS. -
A few moments later Mrs. Gerard
pushed past Rankin into the room, few
traces of the previous evening upon her
heavily rouged cheeks.
’Tell Mr. Jones I’m here and wafting
to take him for a spin through the park,”
she said to the butler. "Say to him that
It's a glorious morning."
Then, seeing Wallace sitting gloomily
in his chair, she wished him "Good
morning!'.' to which he responded shortly
and gloomily.
"You didn’t wait for the announce
ment last night,” said she. "What do you
think of it?” Then, as he didn’t reply,
"I say, what do you think of our en
gagement?"
“What do you think of it?" caustically.
Again came the high falsetto which
Mrs. Gerard had used on the previous
evening, as emotion of any sort seemed
to send her voice squeaking into an up
per register—one that showed the wear
of age.
"I’m the happiest girl in New York,”
she piped.
At his biting burst of laughter, she
drew herself up. hut he assured her that
his mirth was caused by “something
that hopuened years ago.” She was re
lieved. as "mother always called her a
silly child.”
"’four mother! Is your mother still
alive?” burst from him in astonishment.
"Why, of course.” answered Mrs. Ger
ard. "She had ten children—five boys
and five girls. I’m the youngest of the
girls. The baby, they always called me.”
“I suppose most of the boys are still
going to school?” satirically.
"Oh, no; they are all married."
A QUESTION OF AGE.
"Foolish youngsters."
"Oh. I don’t know! I married my first
husband when I was eighteen. That’s
twenty long years ago ”
Mrs. Gerard had said this bravely, but
there was an astounded pause on the
part of Wallace, at the end of which
he exclaimed:
"You don’t mean to tell me that
you’re—”
She put one withered finger to her ar
tificially reddened lips.
“Sh!” she, almost whispered. "That's
only between us. I don't tell my age to
every one. How old are you. Mr. Wal
lace?"
Not a muscle of his face moved as lie
replied:
‘T’U be twelve in October.”
A bewildered look crossed the old rose,
fatuous face of the triple widow Final
ly she laughed.
“Oh. I see,” she said, "you want me
to add about twenty to that."
To Be Continued in Next laglM.
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Things Worth Remembering
Parasols were used by the ancient
Egyptians
Orchards opver 25C,000 acres of land
In Great Britain.
During the last fifteen years the
price of living has advanced by 25
per cent.
In Spain and Italy vinegar is pro
vided by the land owners for the labor
ers in harvest time.
Tea wan used as a beverage in China
over 2,000 years ago.
“The Kind That Mother Makes”
makes the lightest, most wholesome and delicious
biscuits, cakes and pastry. Try it.
1 lb. 20c.— X lb. 10c.—X lb- sc.
All good Grocer* sell it or will get it for yoa.
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. J enclose the tops of 6 Eagle- ♦
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r^firOEr 9 ' ?, ef,ar S“ pr*paid, one set (6) Rogers’ \
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\ /j ViVuV *
M’ BB orl Mrs
yY j|/v P °’ /
V j (ounty
VA State .
(4 *-■-—«***
Ootns are in circulation on an aver
a«a for 37 years.
Ixradon hae the best health record
among European capitals.
France produces upward of 500,000
pounds worth of oysters every year
Each year the Import of opium from
India into China is reduced by 5,100
cheats.
King George rules 11,475,054 square
miles of the earth’s territory, and 37S -
725,857 of its population.