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THE GEOBQJAM’S MAGAZINE PAGE
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rTAHE Boa Hat is the very latest invention of th.- feather merchant and
milliner. and it is likely to be more popular than either of them
hoped tor because it is vastly becoming. The big feather boa wound
about the crown of a wide velvet hat and falling over its rim at one side
whirls about the neck in regular bea fashion. It i= y decorative, and com
bines all tlie good features of the autumn millinery. The wide low feather
trimming, the droop at the side and the collarette around the n ck. which
s necessary for the woman whose frocks and coats have Hat turn-down
collars.
Up-to-Date Jokes
“Ho. do yon tell those twin .-inters
apart?"
"Why. when you kiss one of them she
•'I "ays threatens to tell ma, and the
"tlier one always says she’ll tell pa."
M wet —Isn’t that strange'.’
Katherine—What?
•'la: caret That many a woman who
■ 1 f >“<i her hair wants to keep it
Lh .v of H use—What caused you to
become a tramp?
Ragged Rogers—The faui'ly physi
cal!, ni jin He advised me to take long
alks afie" me meals, and I've been
■alking as. r 'em ever since.
f 1 ’ 1 ' Ariel i. i.n-Why did you have
.'our Italian hills?
f e ex-Brigand—Too tarn". Why. I
•til.' killed two people a month there,
•nt since 1 became a chauffeur it’s a
•001 iron th when I can’t land twenty in
die hospital.
A woman who liked to pose as a wit
•••«• at dinner between a bishop and a
rabbi.
I lee] as if J were a leaf between
>" old and the New Testaments.” she
said to the rabbi. ,
'er madam,” he replied; “that page
' usually a blank one.”
h’rn a policeman can t arrest the
bight of time,” said the funny man.
' 1 ' 1 don’t know,” rejoined the mat
•t-faet person. “Only this morning
policeman enter a side door
•op a few minutes."
■ —ni
Sake
f do not take
Substitutes or Imitations
G «H>eWell-Kn O wn
IfOS MALTED milk
Made In the largest, best
equipped and sanitary Malted
TIM Milk plant in the world
'"’l We do not make ’wnVA: products’—
Skim Milk, Condensed Milk- etc.
i) But th® Oriffinal-Crenuine
HORLICK’S malted milk
S* l Made from pure, full-cream milk
•nd the extract of select malted grain,
6 oy milk sec* 1 - reduced to powder form, soluble in
Mt# water. The Food-drink for All Ages.
WASK FOR “HORLICK’S”
—— Used all over the Globe
The most economical and nourishing light lunch.
“There ought to be orfij one head to
every household,” shouted the orator.
“That’s true.” replied a worried-look
ing man in the audience.
"Yon agree with me?” shouted the
speaker.
“I do,” roared the wprrjed-looking
man, “I’ve just paid for hats for nine
daughters.”
Two or three younft men were ex
hibiting with great satisfaction the re
sults of a day’s fishing, whereupon the
young yoman remarlied very demurely:
"Fish go in schools, do they not?”
“I believe they do. But ’. hy do you
Rsk ?
"Oh, nothing: only I was just think
ing that you must h ive broken up an
infants class.”
There are those in Scotland—and
elsewhere —who appreciate the value of
a generous marriage portion.
"Mae. I heard ye was courtin' bonny
Kate MacPherson,” said Donald to an
acquaintance one morning.
"Weei, Sandy, man, I was in love wi’
the bonny 1 iss," was Mae’s reply, “but I
fund oot she had nae siller, so i said to
myself'. ’M;.e he a i inn.' , And I was
a man; and noo I pass her by wi' silent
contempt."
Maude was home from college.
“AA’ill you,” she said to her mother,
“pass me my diminutive argenteous
truncated cone, convex on its summit,
and semi-perforated with symmetrical
indentations ?”
She was asking for her thimble.
Be Sure to Begin the Neu) Serial With Today’s Installment
BROADWAY JONES -
Based on George M. Cohan’s Great Play Now Running in New York
(Copyright. 1912, by George M. Cohan.)
By BERTRAND BABCOCK.
PART I.
IN the largest, but at the same time
the most secluded of the private din
ing rooms of Speary’s, "Broadway”
Jones was giving one of bls celebrated
“dinners with a punch.”
The preparations had been most elab
orate and the precautions equally care
fully made. The costly Venetian mir
rors. which had reflected many a smiling,
even many a leering face, had been re
j moved from the walls, and their places
i taken by cheaper ones of American-made
' glass. But as most of these mirrors were
to be seen but dimly as vistas through
tiny forests of maidenhair ferns, glowing
smilax and potted plants, the substitu
tion was more real than apparent.
It was to such far-sighted vision and i
psychological penetration that Henri
Speary owed the comfortable fortune I
that had followed the spreading of the
knowledge. through Manhattan that at
Speary’s "one could enjoy one’s self and
even be—a little*—boisterous."
"A leetle rough house,” confided M.
Henri to his head waiter, "a leetle rough
house, but without waste.”
So it was that the supper or dinner
parties whose members .wished to shatter
M. Henri's mirrors did so without other
| consequences than that the astute res
taurateur added to their bill the cost
of the Venetian glass which had reposed
during the storm in his store rooms.
A TYPICAL COMPANY.
The- company which this night had
i seemed to Al. Henri to warrant the sub
i stlrution of the mirrors was typical of the
i larger body which in five years bad made
i Jackson Jones "Broadway.” About each
! of these glided youths who seek the
I fountain of life beneath the lights of the
| serpent way there clusters and circles a
I myriad of human insects, some with ti e
i beauty of the butterfly, some with the
annoyance of .lie plain house fly, and
some with the sting of the mosquito.
So tonight it was as though each of
these elements of the life the youth of
25 known as "Broadway” chose, had
selected its delegation to represent it at
the "dinner with the punch.” "Broad
way” himself would have told yon that
he knew every actor, every chorus girl,
every newsboy, and every wine agent on
Broadway. He had bought the knowledge
and the acquaintance with the only coin
current on the thoroughfare. So repre
sentatives of some of these castes were
in Speary’s. Rut there were also pres
ent certain of those whose position is un
defined—amphibians—half in the pool of
Bohemia and half on the dry land of a
i more regular society.' There were in
I the private room, too,-certain of the real
I friends of the youth whose cut was car
ried in stock in all the newspaper of
, flees which delimited in "white light”
“stories.”
One of the latter, Bob Wallace, a young
advertising man. sat next to the malicious
Mrs. Presbrey, and smiled slightly at her
cutting remarks, without more than oc
casionally replying to them.
”1 wonder what the particular punch is
i which will finish this dinner.” said Airs.
Presbrey. "You remember last time it
vt.is ginrikisnaws filled with champagne,
in which the men wheeled the women
down Fifth avenue at « o’clock in the
morning.”
SURE TO BE STARTLING.
"Depend upon it,” said Wallace, good
naturedly, "it will be something equally
if not mores tartiir.g. Do you see how
thoughtful Broadwaj is? lie's meditat
ing something.”
Airs. Presbrey looked, and it was as
W allace had The head crowned
with darkly yellow hair was slightly
bowed and about the alert, rather Celtic,
I features of the youth credited in the
• newspapers with the squandering of mil
, Hon . there was a gleam, accentuated by
a smile which an alert novelist might
have called sad.
Hut it Broadway Jones’ head was low
ered his eyes were observant enough. In
them was a depth of calculation, a little
resentment ami again a settled determina
tion. From the little table at which he
sat with the or six babblers he was look
ing across to another small table at
which the most striking figure was a
woman. Mrs. Beatrice (James) Gerard
was no longer young. She might very
well have Indeed fiassed for a. very eld
erly mother of Broadway, but she was a
widow, and it was said that she had In
herited at least three millions from each
of her three husbands. Upon her cheek
was a scar which malice said had been
made when she was undiplomatic enough
to interrupt with a hatpin the saving of
the last of her husbands.
But despite the scar Airs. Gerard's
money was perfectly genuine and she did
not lack for friends and even a sort, ot
standing in the circle which she was af
fecting at the present moment.
It was at .Mrs. Gerard that Broadway
was staring with one hand partly thrust
into his lower waistcoat pocket. Broad
way waved aside a sort of resolve he had
formed while to himself he mumbled:
“If she were Eve divorce would have
come into the world with Adam.”
A PERTINENT note.
But Mrs. Gerard apparently was not
aware of the continued scrutiny of the
youth, for in a moment more a waiter
handed him a note In her cramped and j
angular fist. He read:
"Why do you stare at me so?
“BEATRICE GERARD.”
"One moment,” said Jones to the waiter
while he hung over the note with eyes
that seemed about to bulge from their
sockets as the overwhelming force on an
Idea which had come to him. From the
richly embossed menu, a copy of which
every guest had found at his plate, he
tore a partially blank page He wrote:
"Because I love you
"BROADWAY.”
As he watched the men glide back to
the place in the rear of Mrs. Gerard’s
chair he was visibly agitated. His hands
trembled, his foot nervously tapped the
floor and great drops of perspiration stood
out on his forehead It did not seem the
agitation of the lover, but. rather that of
a man who has staked all that he has
and much that he has not on the turn of
a card. But the dinner had nearly ap
proached the "case” stage, and his com
panions at table engrossed in champagne
and flirtation had no eyes for him at that
mor wnt.
lb- saw hi- divinity reed fits note, then
| put one aged, withered hand over lior
i Thon he didn't dare look It
I seemed an age before i-.. wa »»t returned
and laid at his elbow a scrap of paper,
folded fantastically, even coquettlshly. He
saw in trembling wavery characters:
"I love you, too. BEATRICE.”
With an apprehensive face that ill ac
corded witli the fervor of his pencil he
answered:
"Not as much as I love you.”
His communication brought him from
that far away table a sickly smile, a
death s head symphony of age giddy with
the emotions of youth. For a moment his
eyes fell beneath it, then with fists clench
ed so that nails cut into the palms of his
hands he njet it and smiled in his turn.
The next communication from the aging
goddess via the waiter route was:
“Will you marry me*” BEATRICE.
Almost upsetting the table Broadway
leaped to his feet. Some champagne
glasses did indeed roll in fragments on the
floor. The while every eye in the room
was turned upon him, and every retina
there recorded his swift emphatic down
ward gesture of the arm, he shouted:
“Yes.”
Instantly the room was filled with the
clamor of many voices speaking at once
—each to its neighbor.
"The punch at last,” said Mrs. /Pres
brey.
Then she looked for young Wallace,
but he had vanished some moments be
fore.
There succeeded silence as profound as
the babel had been vigorous a moment
before. Expectation was written on
every face. Out of the silence arose a
woman’s voice, the high-pitched tremu
lous falsetto tone of Mrs. Gerard, who
was half on her feet.
“1 feel just like a little twittering bird
In the tree top,” she cried, and then fell
over backward to the floor apparently in
a dead swoon.
Swift were the rescuers. Nine millions
■ J dollars in a woman’s hands may have
wings, but while it lasts it also puts
wings to the feet of others. Women
rushed to Mrs. Gerard, men tried to
push past them, some one called for a
physician, others for brandy, while still
others, sodden with wine, stood agitated
ly at their chairs, and then drank the
dregs from their glasses, there seeming
nothing else io do.
B it If the feet of some of the diners
had wings, those of Broadway Jones
seemed planted in twin automobiles of
greatest horsepower. Through the press
of men and women he passed without ap
i parent effort. It was his hand which
raised Airs. Gerard’s head from the floor,
his knee upon which it was pillowed,
while he placed smelling salts beneath
the woman’s tinted nose.
“It was so sudden, poor dear.” he said,
with just the slightest hint of bls old
humor in his eyes, and would not say
more.
A doctor augmented without displacing
the youth, who still supported Airs. Ger
ard. Soon she Opened her eyes. Broad
way. Jones' mind had phrased the words
before her lips uttered them.
“Where am I?” she murmured.
As best he could from 'his half-squat
ting position on the floor, he put his
young arms about the angular time
l gouged form.
"Here, dearest, in my arms, safe where
you belong. little Beatrice.” he said, so
that an ever-widening circle about him
heard and repeated to those on the out
skirts.
There was again a ’merciful interval
which was hidden by the outspread skirts
of the women. Then, finally. Mrs. Ger
ard was led to her place, while, calm and
alert, at her side stood Broadway Jones,
waiting for order to be restored.
In response to his gestures the com
pany found, if not their old seats,- new
ones, which they drew as near to Airs.
Gerard’s table as possible.
Then, at last. Broadway spread out his
arms in a gesture for silence. He got it
immediately. He sat down and a young
lawyer, a friend, tool: his place.
"My friends,” said he. “we have seen
many things together, have shared many
experiences. Now, we re going to share
a great happiness. Our guest, I may
well say, our guest of honor. Airs. Gerard,
begs to announce her engagement to
marry Mr. Jackson Jones.”
At first there was only an astonished
ripple, to be succeeded a moment later
by bursts of laughter. This in its turn
was followed by a blending of softer
merriment, the mingling of congratula
tions and polite sprightliness, when peo
ple began to reflect that after all this
might be one of those "punches” with
which the name of Broadw’ay Jones had
been associated.
But merriment unbounded returned
when from the far end of the room came
a piece of the grotesque, from which
even the most rhoughtless might have
drawn a sinister shade. A white-haired
man, with a champagne glass in his hand,
arose and waved it aloft. He, was recog
nized as an intimate of the Gerard fam
ily, and of the age precisely of Mrs. Ger
ard's second husband- that Is to say, of
her own age. His hoary head brought
Into striking relief the great difference
in the ages of the pair whose “happi
ness” had just been announced.
"A health to the bride! A health to
the bride!” he shouted.
Then at a signal from him. repeated
by the pallid Br-iadwax Jones, files of
waiters swiftly appeared with great mag
nums of champagne, cooled in l uge sil
ver pails. I’nder the deft efforts of the
serving men. the foaming wino flowed in
unrestrained rivers.
Then begun the maddest period of the
night, which justified all of the precau
tions of M. Henri. I’pon an improvised
dais, made by heaping chairs upon ohalrs
and covering all with Oriental rugs, they
set Broadway Jones and his antique
divinity, while they crowned them with
chaplets made from the flowery table dec
orations.
It was a season of hilarious frenzy,
and as gradually the torrents and cas
cades of wine swept away the coherence
of speech, words lost their meaning,
their sound, and became merely so many
laughs, so that-in the end the chief sign
of merriment issued alone from every
mouth. These, uniting, became hut a
single vibration which made to tremble
the window panes, and seemed to send out
over the city an intangible, menacing ra
dlatlon whose root was not in sanity
CASTOR IA
Tor Infant* and Children.
Thi Kind You Have Always Bought
It was 5 o’clock in the morning when
twenty grave but unsteady-legged youths,
whistling the wedding march from Do
hengrin. escorted to his house Broad
way Jones, still crowned w ith flowers and
weeping and laughing convulsively in
turn.
A FRIEND’S EFFORT.
Close to the hour at which Robert Wal
lace had left Broadway’s dinner, a cer
tain astute personage connected with
Speary’s, but whose official title was
not "press agent,” had gone to one of
Speary’s telephones. He had called six or
seven numbers, among them 2000 Beek
man. 4000 Beekman and 2200 Beekman.
Soon after bls series of conversations,
several keen-eyed young men were watch
ing the scene in the private dining room
from corners of hallways and balconies.
So It was that the next morning Wal
lace. in an Idle moment after closing a
contract, read a fairly accurate account
of what had occurred at the now famous
dinner after he had left. Dong as he
had known Broadway Jones, the "stories”
astounded him. Dike many of the guests
of the previous night, he had thought
that here was merely another of the
famous "punches.” The next moment he
had put the Joking possibilities aside and
was certain that Broadway was out of
his senses. He finished by not knowing
what to think and took the subway to
the house which Jones had rented at
the commencement of making his name.
Rankin, the butler, had read the pa
pers, too, but he had little to add to
what Wallace already knew’. He had ad
mitted Jones in the morning and had
been told that as the day was Thursday
Broadway was not be called until Satur
da y.
Wallace sent Rankin to his master.
The butler reported back that he had
aroused Broadway, the latter had called
for the newspapers and a w’hisky sour,
and was even then dressing.
While in a bitter state of mind. Wal
lace sat waiting, there was an agitated
ring of the doorbell.
"If it’s a newspaper reporter, tell him
that Air. Jones Is out of town,” ordered
Wallace.
MRS. GERARD CALLS.
A few moments later Mrs. Gerard
pushed past Rankin into tha room, few
traces of the previous evening upon her
heavily rouged cheeks.
’Tell Air. Jones I’m here and waiting
to take him for a spin through the park.”
she said to the butler. “Say to him that
it’s a glorious morning.”
Then, seeing Wallace sitting gloomily
in his chair, she wdshed him "Good
morning!" to which he responded shortly
and gloomily.
“You didn't wait for the announce
ment last night,” said she. “What do you
think of it?” Then, as he didn't reply,
“I say, what do you think of our en
gagement?"
“What do you think of it?” causticMly.
Again came the high falsetto which
Mrs. Gerard had used on the previous
evening, as emotion of any sort seemed
to send her voice squeaking into an up
per register- one that showed the wear
of age.
“I’m the happiest girl in New York,"
she piped.
At his biting burst of laughter, she
drew herself up, but he assured her that
his mirth was caused by "something
that hopuened years ago.” She was re
lieved, as "mother always called her a
silly child.”
“Your mother! Is your mother still
alive?” burst from him in astonishment.
"Why, of course.” answered Mrs. Ger
ard. “She had ten children—five boys
and five girls. I’m the youngest of the
girls. The baby, they always called me.”
"I suppose most of the boys are still
going to school?" satirically.
“Oh. no: they are all married.”
A QUESTION OF AGE.
“Foolish youngsters.”
"Oh, I don’t know! I married my first
husband when I was eighteen. That’s
twenty long years ago."
Airs. Gerard bad said this bravely, but
there was an astounded pause on the
part of Wallace, at the end of which
he exclaimed:
“You don't mean to tell me that
you're—”
She put one withered finger to her ar
tificially reddened lips.
"Sh!" she almost “That's
only betw’een us. I don’t tell my age to
every one. How old are you. Mr Wal
lace?”
Not a muscle of his face moved as he
replied:
“I’ll be twelve In October."
A bewildered look crossed the old rose,
fatuous face of the triple widow Final
ly she laughed.
"Oh, I see,” she said, “you want me
to add about twenty to that."
To Be Continued in Next issue.
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tAdvtj
AN ODD WINTER COAT
I"?.
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A ft
V I ' J
WML wtwij * w/
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(Copyright, Underwood & Underwood.)
A civet fur coat brought into use by the continued high price of fur
and skins, and will be popular wear this winter. It is trimmed with a fox
collar and cuffs, and Is of a brown shade. A brown soft velour hat, a la
Cavalier, will complete the coat.
Things Worth Remembering
Parasols were used by the ancient
Egyptians.
Orchards cover 260,000 acres of land
in Great Britain.
During the last fifteen years the
price of living has advanced by 25
per cent.
In Spain and Italy vinegar is pro
vided by the land owners for the labor
ers In harvest time.
Tea was used as a beverage in China
over 2,000 years ago.
“The Kind That Mother Makes**
makes the lightest, most wholesome and delicious
biscuits, cakes and pastry. Try it.
1 lb. 20c.— X lb. 10c.—X lb. sc.
All good Grocer* tell it or will get it for too.
/ SODA VWkJ
Pure. Fresh.
Economical.
Guaranteed.
V Dust-proof, sanitary
& \ • package.
nf fall ounces to \
the P oun d—and t Vm
in; ~~~ coats no more ! V
\ \ } 4
II / Mathlnon Alkali Work*, Q
I I I 1 /r ~ Saltvilit, V«. <■
I ■ J en dpse the tops of 6 Eagle- V
a J Thistle packages, also Money Order
> (or Stamps) for 58c. Please send me, V
Law"*’ ?, char K»* prepaid, one set (6) Rogers*
1 AJS? ♦ Guaranteed Genuine Silver Plated Tea- •
Il All \ spoons. These spoons bear no adver-
Isl ji Using, their retail value is $2 per dos. ®
I A. Mias (or) Mrs
IgrT^x—±7
y State
II "***
t Coins are in circulation on an aver
age for 27 years.
1 London has the beet health record
among European capitals.
s France produce* upward of 500,000
> pounds worth of oysters every year.
Each year the Import of opium from
India Into China is reduced by 5,100
cheat*.
King George rules 11,4711,054 square
miles of the earth’s territory, and 878 -
725.857 of !’? population.