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THE MAGAZINE PAGE Daysey Mayme and Her Folks By FRAMES L i.ARSIDE. THE COURT KISS. THE ideal husband is on- aho is a! yearning doormat. Lysamf-.: ■gy John \pjii«-ton was a doormat, k but his soul In l ong •inci cease,-] to iF yearn. For thi- miwm In fell short I of the ideal and his wit? res dissatis- fied. S: V le< • ' ' i her. He paid her bills and tunughl ne y told her. She wailleu no <■ m laic t > cut short his morning good-by> kiss. She longed l K. to gee him come home : t night with j speed increased bj thoughts of the I &> grbeling kis- that await.d him. He thought of the first train he could ' catch in the morning and of his dinner at Bight. He was not ideal. Aits. Lysand. . •John appealed to the courts. "Ms husband," sin- sobbed to the Judge, "no lunger kisses me" It w.-us a grave offense. The sentence must match th, crimi . The court ruled f. that for tie next seven years Mrs. \p pleton must ici-ort daily that In bus- 1 baud had kissed her at least twice in the L’4 hours. f “And if you fail." - tid th- court, looking grimly over its glasses, 'your sentence will be doubled.” Lysandet John began -<•; \ ing ills time tjexl nforning. His wife was sow ing when lie left the bouse. and h< waited patientlj while sh took sou: ■pins and a needle from he mouth. ! Then he kissed her. E • To him the evening kiss tasted of the ; I bean- and onions and carrots she had been testing while getting dinner, but ft he fli.id nothing. The next morning when he left she ; r was doing her back hair anil her mouth was full, of hairpins. But he is a law- 1 abiding citizen and carried out the court's decree. The compulsory kissing had lasted a week when Mrs. Appleton appeared be fore the Judge. “My husband, she sobbed, "kissed , me twice a day. but his kisses luck flavor. He kissed me like a hen neck ing at a pebble, olml if la aims at my lips he is in such a hurry the kiss lands on my eat. "I don't want any more of y our com pulsory kissing. I want the court's or der revoked.” That night when Lysander John learned that the court had dissolved him, he gate, his wife a kiss that .was voluntary. It lacked the dty. parchment taste of the court kiss, and smacked a little of ' the courtship kind. Mrs. Lysundei John guv. a smile. Her’ husband v.as approaching the ideal! Up-to-Date Jokes < Jim Nothing is better In time of danger than presence of mind. George—Oh. think it ovet W hat about absence id' body'.' Nell—Oil. Jack I wish you could have Been Milly ini afternoon. She liter ally threw herself at Jack \\ right. Jack— Alt. web she knew he was a gopd catch. ' Wise —What do you think'.' The eat has eaten every bit of the meal that I have just cooked! Husband—The poor thing! But never mind; 1 will got you another cat! “That was the spirit of your uncle • that made that table stand, turn over and do etich queer things.” t . "I am not surprise; he never did have good table manne Tired Mother <to restless child) Nov . you sit s-tle. I've brought you ten miles to enjoy t entertainment, and you shall enjoy it. even if I have to pull every hair out of your head. “Is Mrs. Deßrick tn?’ asked the vis itor, culling at the home of the suffra gette loader ' “5 is, mum, -ai* Nor.- ’ 'She's in for six months, mum.” Au Irishman once entered into con versation with an Englishman. The! Englishman, thinking to have a joke ' with his companion, asked: "How many | hairs on a pig's face'.'” “Begorra, sir." said Pat. "the next time you shavi nrj can count them.” "1 wonder wliat that man is doing up that telegraph pole ." said Mrs. Mauby. “Why. he must be after fruit.” replied her husband. “But what kind of fruit can he get up there”" "Electric vuitents, of course!" Giles—la > i. te! you, young man. | that I’m so years old today, and 1 don't ever remember having told a lie. The Young Man \V< I. you can’t ex pect yom mi-mory to be t -y good at j yottr ag> ! Biowiie —1 suppose y,,u v. been in many a squall, captain? Captain—Rather: I am t •? lather of ten children. I Wife—But way must tn walk? Be- ra fore our marriage you always took a taxi. Husbanu—l knov 'Ph.it’s wily wt (have to walk noys. “bo you’ve broken oft your engage . meat with Miss Smart.-" ' asked the in quisitive friend. His victim .shook his he.id. "No,” he replied: I didn't break it "Oh, then; site broke It off?" "No,” answered the young man. en joying the friend's growing wonder “But it is broken oft, isn't it ” pet - ft. sistii] tie- curious one. •Hi- >• ■ •explain.-d the young man. ■Lg- utly. "S|,. B^' r ’ - i Ek < “The Hands That Rile the World” By Nell Brinkley # -"p 7 - ~ 1 Hl . ■ A\ I S?s ' \ ■- r* jh 'YV/ht. 1 a....- §T# >t T A’A-’-V:. p / i .......... I ? . 'O-Xs.. ~ Copyright, 1912, by the Star Company. < yiiK-al Ohl Bachelors. Who Have Been Teased by Love and a Lady, Turn the Old Saying About When They [Tse 11 and Make It Read: “ The Hands That Rile the World.’’ BROADWAY JONES H S* reat *_ ’ By Bertrand Babcock ! Based on George M. Cohan's Play Now Running in New York. TODAY’S INSTALLMENT. Broadway sprang to his feet, fie felt | that In the presence of those kindly blue ! gray eyes lie would do and dare great tilings. Their inspiration would lend him through fire. If there whs a riot out there be woul-l quell it, and lei the eyes land the smile reward him. I ‘At hat is it, judge?” be asked, prepur | ing to roll up his sleeves. "Did inu send a message out tli<-re b\ | Higgins?” asked Spotswood. | "I did.” said Jones, ready for anything. Bm the judge explained: "Well, that's what they're heering about. The men are veiling and the boys are dancing. You'd think Bedlam had broken loose. They re hollering for you. I Corne on out and let 'em see you.” Broadway's valor sfiriveleil it], just as tin beauty of Mrs Berard's had. His heroic poise .and jmse were gone in stantly. "No, no!” he exclaimed, ”1 couldn't - I just couldn't.” The cheering was redoubled. “Listen!” exclaimed the judge. "Go out. Broadway, and say a few wor-ls.” said Mrs. Spotswood "les, go and make a speeclt,” supple mented the judge. “I can’t say anything. I never made a speech in my life." groamsl poor Broad way. Josie went to Jackson with the speech lie had written for her ear alone. “Read this to tliem. 1 ' si,, said with ex quisite drollery. Broadway elutcheii at tin papei. and pushed by Spotswiaal ami bls wife ap pr<>ached the door leading out into the factory. At the door, still resisting, he turned his troubled eyes to Josie. The effect was instantaneous, tn an jfk, *!§ ill!’ [jP*T7C . A«J ■ "** WT y i *SON ALKAU WORMS. |H J HSTO ■£s^T* , m»a —’X****** J ?;jii Zy’# va * f / Pure. Fresh. \4k Bf Economical. Guaranteed. Wl ! W l| / / Always in the sanitary package. V A 16 lull ounces to the pound and costs no more. |j V \ Best for biscuits THE mathieson alkali V’Aw WORKS. Saltville, Va. \ K 'iTArl oil I enclose the tops cut from Vy; JR U jk dllCl 4.111 <’ Eagle-Thistle packages, also \ $ J' / Money Order (or stamps) for VWJK -Z JWr -> i AV <Sc * Pie**® «er.d me. all LVK>K 11 IJT. rhar<re prepaid, one set i 6» Ma *"* Rogers’ Guaranteed Genuine U f Silver Plated Teaspoons These U a spoons bear no advertising and their retail value t» |2 per dor Miss or' Mrs. -J | instant Broadway’s figure stiffened itself, as Ids arms lost their dejected slackness ; ami came vigorously out from his body, lie (lid not entirely abandon th, tie-ch Josie hail handed to him. bit thrust it into in inner pocket, and strode with a determined air over the threshold. "TROT ON YOUR VJCTIM.” ' As ..Mis. Spotsv, 1 and the judge lupl followed Broadway from Me- offices to I * hear with Josie his maiden speech, < Jara Spotswood was left t here alone. She was | about to follow the others when her , brother, the fat and sulky Sammy, I showed in Wallace. At his manifest astonishment at seeing her. Clara giggled < ut; “You didn't expect to sec me here, did • "It's an unexpected but a very great I pleasure.” returned Wallace warmly. Clara went on in a matter-af-fact voice: "Mr. Jones will be back in t few mo- . i merrts He went out into the works to | i make u speech.” j Wallace made the motions of a young woman about to faint. "What?” he ejaculated, in real aston ishment. “Yes; that's the crowd cheering him now.” But Wallace's mind was now far away. He was beginning to think that life in tlie slackwater of Jonesville, with its lit tle village pleasures and occasional ex citements, was not without a certain charm. Sammy took advantage of the absorption of the young people in them selves to slip away He wanted to hear Broadway's speech. Wallace sighed as he said: “Funny! I thought of you when I I passed the drug store Just now ” "Isn't it marvelous!” exclaitneii the girl: “I’ve been thinking of you, loo.” "You have?" with delight and wonder. "Yes the chocolates weA tine. 1 ate i all of ihe box you gave me last night be- fore I went to bed. But you shouldn’t be spending your money the way you do. Oh, Mr. Jones told me you were a regu lar spendthrift. He said you spent more than $25 one night.” "oh, did he tell you about that night?" Wallace's tone implied to a Broadway observer that there never had been a night when he was spending money that lie had been so iiHmoclerate. j Clara shook her finger at him. warn. ■■■■■■ u. -■»- i«i» • . ft fe-"’ f/r : Ix/ont use Butter in "lour Kjfclien D? yo - u know why butter is so high? Housewives from years of pfw\ habit have come to use more and more of it for particular cook- XSF F- *T\ mg—where they want something better than lard. It’.s a wasteful O <s| W/ «< m habit—highly expensive—and wholly unnecessary. gu£ J® ts bl . Use butter on your table > wh . ere h belongs; discard it from your pBBj .$J kitchen. The use of Cottolene in cooking, will give just as good | results as butter. Besides, two-thirds of a pound of Cottolene will go Iff/ B fir as far as a pound of butter, and Cottolene costs no more than lard. • LA' M I Use more Cottolene and cut down your butter bill. * atF I I < ■ ■ ■ I ■ »™“ ■ Sml J® i MW A jjSjp WjaL IgKgj gt JL sea L\\ HL WUa I Makes Delicious Pastry IXX Cottolene makes light, flaky, crisp pie-crust. It makes deliciously t rW B l lght ’. * e J der doughnuts. For cake making Cottolene creams up \. 'WWF IfhJa beautifully and gives the best obtainable results. Muffins fritters V Wwf IfURI hort , and all other Pastry, are best made when made with I Cottolene. It makes food rich but never greasy. 1 VI Cottolene is a vegetable product, and makes food that is healthful v. \r . / \ and digestible. Ww-i Ik.'"? \ Sbßmf B X--' .1 Try Tnit Rectpc: .. B V• *.;>••• one egg cake Made only by f g 1 cup sugar 1 cup milk 14 teaspoon soda COMP ANY 1 teaspoon cream of tartar 2 cups flour VVrtW 1 AIN Y ft II gs Rub the Cottolene and sugar to a light creatn, add well beaten yolk of egg a ."d vanilla, mix together the soda, cream of tartar and flour, stir it into - ~. — •U/ the creamed mixture, alternating with the milk. Add well beaten white of egg last Bake in shallow pan in moderate oven about one-half hour I a a X a.M. ; / I I Yt ?'' i 1 V V j ***'r “And you mustn’t waste you money that way,” she. said. A laugh was ringing front his mouth as Sammy ran in. The two young people thought for a moment that the laugh was for them, but Sammy soon reassured them. “Gosh, what a bum speech Broadway made,” he sajd. ”1 wish I could get a chance to make a speech. I bet I'd make some of 'em take a back seat. If ever I amount to anything, the first thing I am going to <to is to make a speech about myself." Wallace laughed out: “You’ve got the right idea, Sammy.” "You bet I've got the right idea," re turned the fat. boy. “I've got some darn good ideas if ever I get a chance to de velop them.” "Stop talking about yourself, Sammy." said the sisterly Clara. Continued in Next Issue. Advice to the Lovelorn By BEAI’RICE FAIRFAX. TOO YOUNG TO KNOW. Dear Miss Fairfax: I am fifteen and as I was visitin.- a different state i met a bov about seventeen. I only met him once and I received a postal from him later saying that he would like to correspond with me. So I am still corresponding with him. He said he thought it was love at first 9 ig] u It is getting serious. Judging from his letters, I think he is very ni, ~ i It would break my heart if I h a d to stop corresponding with him. , , , anxious. A letter is a poor test of a man Anv man can write an agreeable letter if he tries. Your little heart will break easi ly and often if you permit the end of correspondence with a man you don't know to fracture it. Don t take this so seriously, my de i i Save your emotions for later and more i vital experiences. BE PATIENT A LITTLE LONGER Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a girt of seventeen and am considered by some persons pretty. About seven months ago 1 met a gentleman several years older than myself and for him I imme diately formed a great liking. I will not say love, because I know I am too young. He is very kind to me, but somehow I feel that he re , gards me as a child and therefore has no interest in me. I want him to respect and love me. KATE. Some day he will realize that vou arc grown up, and I am sure that with this realization there will come an awaken ing of his love for you. He is a much finer man for regard ing you as a child than if he made violent love to one of your age. He respects you now. Jf the love doesn't corne for several years, all the better for you. IAOOI I bouiiwnV 11 I WffljßSMO B I JStSsßasttr -w' I r BIk li' °Xq Le BIO ;HMjjUpF r K I * CUBE TO A CUPFUC ; ! ' A CUPFUL IN A MINUtE