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Ella Wheeler Wilcox
LETTER TO A BRIDE
Home Is the Ante-Room to Heaven and\
Should Be Patterned on That Plan
ELEPHANT POWER AND THE PLOW
5MBC
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
NUMBER IV.
T it a Young Bride: Your letter,
full of happiness and liorney-
licss, tv as a delight to read.
It is good to know you u.e so deep-
interested in your home; and that
vou have started your married dfe
itli such an ideal instead of wasting
ie first year in a hotel or boarding
. use. or oil the dangerous Bohemian
stylo of living, so often popular with
M.ung married women.
Home is my idea of the'ante-room
heaven, and should bo patterned on
that plan. You say your homo is
ny. but that is ull the better for a
beginning.
There is so much to think about n
home making, and if you learn to
have perfect details and to keep per
fect order in a small home, it will bo-
rune a simple matter for you to carry
out ihe same system when your abode
enlarges.
Make Your House Pretty.
You are so pleasing to look upon
lat it will be like a jewel In a box.
if you make your little house pretty
in every department.
1 know you have great taste in col
ors. and that everywhere your cur
tains and rugs and walls and dra
peries will be beautiful in tone, and
there will be no clashing or glaring
colors.
And l can imagine the happiness of
your husband when he comes home
and sees you tastefully garbed, wait
ing him in your pretty room.
Remember the need of a man for a
room all his own. Arrange such spa;e
for him even at the sacrifice of some
luxuries you might fcnjoy otherwise.
An English woman writing about
American homes justly criticised
them for this very lack; and the cor
responding lack in the heart of the
wife, who did not realize the fact that
every man on earth wanted a room
which was all his own—one into which
no other person entered unless* in
vited as a guest; one where he could
sit ,uite undisturbed and be alone
if toe mood for solitude or a quiet
smoke seized him.
Don’t Pester Him.
Vnd be sure if such a mood seize
our man, to leave him to its enjoy
ment; and do not imagine he has
reused to love you. because he may
like to read his paper there or smoke
ids cigar or take a nap. maybe, alo ie
himself.
i hope your little domain has a
pleasant kitchen and maid’s room.
If this part of the house has been
neglected by tile architect, try to
tighten it as much us possible in
vour treatment of it. For when you
think of the important part a good
domestic plays in a home, it should
stem an important thing to give her
;is much comfort and convenience as
possible, and to give her pretty and
attractive things to splcase her eye
and train her taste to an understand
ing of beauty.
If your husband belongs to a club
make the hours of his going and com
ing as pleasant as he was accustomed
to find them when a bachelor. Be-
foie lie married you. quite possibly
he gave lip many club evenings to be
with you; but now that he has you
all the time, it is quite natural he
should want to be with his men
friends occasionally.
Don't Play the Martyr.
Do not play the martyr or act the
role of th<* neglected wife.
1* would be well if you joined a
club of your own, ami if you are
musical it would be wise to arrange
a little evening of music at home the
night lie goes to his club or lodge.
Nothing keeps a man more inter
ested in a woman than the know ledge
that she can interest herself, and
that she can call about her an agree
able circle instead of sitting at home
moping.
Take up some study early in your
married life.
Your husband is a wide-awake man
and in touch with the outer world,
and you must keep abreast of the
times.
Learn a new language or pursue
some line of reading—natural history
would be excellent—for when your
babies come (as I hope they will) all
you learn in this matter will be of
inestimable value to them.
The mother who can begin in the
small years of her boy’s life to tell
him the .beautiful and interesting
things about bird and insect and
animal life will never find him want
ing to be a killer of dumb things.
Such a mother was startled recent
ly by having her little boy say.
“Mother, I want to go hunting birds.”
Then he added. “Plea«e buy me a
camera; 1 want to hunt with a
camera; and tak^* pictures of my lit
tle friends myself.”
Keep Yourself Peautiful.
* Watch yourself efter the honey
moon wanes, to see that you do not
grow careless in regard to your per
sonal appearance.
Some brides fade with the wedding
finery; and lose all interest in ap
pearing attractive because they feel
they have attained their goal; they
are married; and settled; and there
is nothing else to work for. But to
win is ofttimes easier Ilian to keep
what w r e win.
Keen your house beautiful and keep
yourself beautiful. Be the most
amiable, the most sensible, the most
agreeable, the best groomed, the most
loyal and the most loving woman it
will be possible for your husband to
find anywhere.
And make your hyme the most at
tractive place he can find.
Then if he wanders into forbidden
paths or does not live up. to his
vows, it will be because he is not
worthy of any woman’s faith. But
a vast number of men who go wrong
are really driven by the thoughtless,
indolent, careless, or disagreeable
wife. ,
Be the very best thing on earth,
r\nd one of the rarest, a really adm.r-
able. lovable wife, and homemaker.
And all other things shall be added
i thereunto.
Are 7 Out of 8 Married Couples Unhappy?
Dorothy D x Says if So Many Yearned to Break the Bond ol Matrimony, 1 hey Would Do It.
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By DOROTHY DIX.
\ R i: seven out of eight married
coupled unhgppy?
A man out in Oklahoma, who
has been lecturing upon Ike subject • f
the relations of the sexes, declares that
j the> are.
In this )>«sdimisttc siding up of the
dermatic situation undoubtedly he took
into consideration the family spat,
which in the -majority of household*
iar much u part of ihe matutinal
meal as the coffee and the rolls. In
fact, generally speaking, it may be as
serted that no breakfast table is com
plete without one.
I Likewise he could not have failed to
notice that thero is apparently no topic
under the sun, from politics to pie,
upon which a husband and wife con
not get up a heated argument at a mo
ment's notice, and that, the only thing
upon which they can agree is to dis
agree t
He has heard rows between the
Joneses oxer the size of tlie grocery bill,
or whether the baby's hair should be
cut or not, or the steak basing tough..
that would feem to lead straight to the
■ divorce mill.
He has heard Mrs. Jones, in the heat
of .anger, say things to Mr. Jones that
were past all forgiving; ami he has
listened while Mr. Jones retorted with
insults that called for some able-bodied
male relative of Mrs. Jbnes to fall
upon him and beat him to a pulp.
Has Heard Spats Over Money.
He observes that when Mrs. Jones
t w ks her lord and master for the n?c-
essary money to run the house upon, it
is the signal for a storm of crimina
tion, complaints, sneers and gibes upon
her extravagance and bad management
io burnt, and that Mra. Jcr.es dams the
deluge by a series of counter changes
and iv rin-Jnations about the n ones a
man wastes upon his cigars and drinks
and treating deadbeat friends, and cat*
frg expensive lunches, while his poor
wife slaves her Hfe away trying to make
i ne dollar do the work of iwo.
rnueubtedly, likewise for these
I things urt* i.ol done privately, more’s
the pity the lecturer has been person-
tally called upon'to referee one if these
domestic mix-ups, ar.d mentally called
the Hk ; a draw when ihe wife retired
rebbirg to her comer, moaning out that
she was ‘‘go go-going ba-a-ack ho-ho-
i cnie to mo-mo-mother," and lie man!
jabbed cn his hat and banged the front
door behind him and hastened to the
nearest rale on for spirituous confola
lien and refreshment.
Any dispassionate observer, noting
there facts, must conduce that the ma-
j- r;;y of husbands and wives are about
« ; conger a! as the Kilkenny cats and
that their one ardent desire in life
mutt be to break the fetters that ba.d
DOROTHY DIX
together two natures that act on each
other as fire and «ow.
That is the logic of the situation;
but. fortunately, there is no Ibgic In
love. You can not Judge by ’what you
see, for the wells of affection lie deep
down in the human soul; they are not
or. the surface for ever?’ casual passerby -
to cast In u line and plummet and
measure their depth.
The family scrap is bad taste, bad
manners., bad ethics, if you like; but it
is no sort of a sign that the couple
;hat indulge in it are not devoted to
each other. On the contrary, it is
doubtful if any other man and woman
have as great a perennial fascination
for each ether as do 1hose whose ra
mies constantly repulse and at ract, and
who can neither get along with nor
without each other
Life for them never settles down into
ihe commonplace. It Is a perpetual se
ries , of skirmishes, in which now one
is victorious, now tlie other; but the
fight is al\\a>s worth tte pr're of ad-
m.jsicn, ar.d matrimony becomes a sort
< f bushwhacking warfare, which may
r.ut be the ideal of the holy state, but
is undeniably thrilling.
I)r. Holmes once said that the reason
that families broke up and scattered to
the four corners of the world was to keep
the Browns from being Browned into the
asylums, ar.d the Smiths from being
Smithed into the grave.
In the same way, it is evident that the
family spat was devised by nature to
break the awful monotony of domestic
life, and keep husbands and wives from
The Headwaitress
By HANK
taking the coffee pot and the carving
• nife to each other when they oouiil no
longer endure hearing each other make
ihe same remark about the same sub
jects every day. ff they couldn’t quar
rel, they must inevitably fight; and when
all is raid, hard xvords break no bones.
That married couples really enjoy a
tiff is amply proven by tho fact* that
they deliberately do things that bring it
on. They introduce topics that are like
the waving of a red flag before a mad
bull when they might just as well keep
inlet.
Why ar*- n>< n and women who are tact
itself in dealing with others, apparently
brutal in their relationship with each
ether? Simply and solely because they
,ie the rumpus they create, they enjoy
the verbal duet, and they couldn't live
without the fillip of the make-up.
Nor do husbands and wives take each
other's saying seriously. Mrs. Jones
sn't crushed and mortified to death
about Mr. Jones’ remarks about money
every time she asks him for a penny, ns
one would think she would bo, or she
would not go to him a second time. She
would force some financial arrangement
that would save her feelings and her
pride.
Little Meant; Easily Forgiven.
For aho knows that Jones is really a
generous fellow, that he wants bis fam
ily to have the very things he makes
such a pother about their having, and
bis attitude of being held up and robbed
by his wife is simply tho fun he gets
for his work -Ids way of bragging and
calling attention to the luxuries in which
he indulges his wife and children.
Ho simply loves to have her come and
ask him for money. That’s the reason
he doesn't make her an allowance.
Furthermore, husbands and wives for
give and forgot the hard xvords each
says In momenta of anger, because mar
ried life goes so much deeper tnan any
speech.
It is not the quick outburst of temper
that a man remembers, but the loyalty,
the faith, the unswerving devotion that
his wife has given him, the days she has*
bent over the cooking stove for him, the
smiles she wore when things were dark
and hard, the vigils ah© has kept by his
sickbed.
It Is not the swear word a tnan rips
out, or his growling over his dinner, that
■» woman treasures and broods over in
memory; but the way he has toiled for
her, the tenderness be has shown her,
h*: protecting arm that she sees him Ti
ter posing between her and the world.
It is this that makes the marriage tic
the most elastic but the strongest bond
in the world, and you can ne\<*r con
vince me. fer one. that seven out of
eight people yearn to break it.
Klee they would do it.
Medicine Time of the Year
^rp HIS is the medicine time of the
! year.” remarked the young
woman who had come to call.
“There are I don’t know h* w many dif
fers assortments of medic! in our
houtc In, as many different •
“I’apa keeps his medicine In the lath
r< mi. I keep the baby's in the nurserj
Bob step his behind the mirror in the
hall. . ane keeps hers u a vegetable
dish on the buffet. r i o maid keeps
h'. rg ir. the basement. Dick keeps his
• r.Ic nut in the garage*.
’ did keep tho baby’s medicine in
'< ,e sewing machine at first, but the
' at s accumulated so fust that l had
> pet more room for them.
“She used to have two small bottles.
Now sue has six large ones.
“But papa has the worst assortment!
’ r» 4 no is allowed to meddle with his
bottles, yet he is forever i caring about
some < ne disturbing them ar.d chang-
• g them around and tasting them.
“'i here are a few toothbrushes in the
chest with his beverages, and he
thinks they are kept there merely to
g : ve us an excuse to nui’dlc with his
rec >i;a medicine. He says if wo are
<t careful there will be a r.fixup that
■ ill result in his being poisoned.
“There used to be a small bottle of
>>e polish in the very-top of his med-
une repository, and papa goi up in the
'gl’t, rather sleepy, and took a dose
c? Si fur his cough. Thinking it tasted
ratlcr funny, he turned on the light.
When he saw it was shoe polish he had
' old of. he threw the polish and every
thing else that wasn’t his own lifedi-
cine out of the window.
“Bob complains of the dust that, gets
on his medicine bottle, but as back of
the mirror is the only safe place f< r it,
ho has no alternative.
“The maid thinks it hard that she
has to go down into the basement to
get her tonic. And poor Dick! Ho has
to be constantly on the alert that lie
does not drink machine oil or tui pen-
tine or something. He vows that he
took turpentine for a week, and thought
his tonic was tasting rather mild, for
it generally tasted like gn und-up fire
works. Then he discovered that it was
only turpentine that he had been taking.
“I don’t know whether papa’s are the
worst doses or not, but' he makes the
worst facts. My! 1 wouldn’t look at him
again when he is in the act of taking
his tonic for worlds! He wouldn’t ' let
any one see him take a dose of his
latest tonic, anyway. It would be Just
like seeing a hanging, he says. So he
goes into the bath room and shuts and
bolts the door. After a time we hear
a sputtei and a yell, such as you would
expect from some one suddenly im
mersed in ice water. Then he cornea out
still making faces and looking very sad
and intured.”
Cutting'.
lT WOULD box your ears. said a
1 young lady to her stupid and tire
some admirer, “if—
“If what?” he asked anxiously.
"If,” she repeated. "I could get a box
large enough for the purpose."
T HE two pictures above illus
trate how plowing is done
in India and how an Eng
lish farmer* made m e of an ele
phant to prepare his lands.
In the upper picture may be
seen the primitive plow of India
and seated upon the rn.ck of the
beast the driver. Behind the plow
is another native who guides it.
In the lower picture the Eng
lishman is shown guiding a mod
ern plow—made in the Fnited
States, by the way. He also does
the driving by wort} of mouth.
This Englishman declare^ that
he hai> secured better plowing in
le.-is time with one elephant than
he could have done in the same
time with three or four farm
horses.
On the Bad Habit of Apologizing Too Much
By VIRGINIA TERHUNE VAN DE WATER
T
->HB apology has become a nui
sance. This may sound brutal,
but it is true. Not the humble
apology which the wrongdoer makes
to the person he has wronged. That
I is dignified and to be respected. But
j the needless apology with which we
are all familiar has become a nui-
: sance.
“I don’t like to take a meal in
Mrs. Blank’s house,” said a woman
1 the other day, "for she apologizes
l for everything she sets before one.
i It is, ‘1 am afraid there is too much
salt in this soup.’ or. ‘Oh, dear, this
meat i:. tough! L am so sorry!’ or.
'My dear, this is a very plain din
ner. I hope you will pardon me for
having such a simple meal to-night.’
And all the time everything is as
nice as it can be, and the only
things i can not excuse are her ex
cuses.
Let Them Think!
A woman who does not apologize
except when courtesy and common
sense demand it gave a dinner on
the evening of the day that h new
cook had been installed in her
kitchen. To her secret dismay the
strawberries the first of the sea
son—\v.- re brought to the table
heaped in the center of a platter
plentifully garnished with parsley.
“What did you say?” asked the
friend to whom the hostess men
tioned the incident the following day.
“Say? Nothing! I had a right to
garnish my strawberries with any
thing I chose. I let my guests sup
pose that it was an innovation- a
new thing in decorations— if they
thought anything at all about it. I
certainly did not call attention to
my cook’s mistake.”
She was a wise woman. The habit
of apology, if persisted in, affects
one’s self-confidence, for one at last
assumes a depreoatory attitude
about herself and her possessions.
She fears that she “doesn't look just
right” when she goes abroad; she
feels that her own home is not as
handsome as her neighbor’s house,
and intimates as much; she at last
gets to the point when she is con
tent with nothing that belongs to
her. And all the while her long-suf
fering friends pat her figuratively
speaking—on the back and try to
reassure her.
“Do not apologize." advised a Wise
man, “unless Vou have been guilty
of actual wrongdoing. It lowers your
self-respect."
Not Jong ago I heard a woman say
of a piece of work into which she
had put hc-r 1-e.st efforts:
“There! That is done as well as
i 1 can do it. It may not be as excel-
j lent us somebody else could have
made it, but I know it is as good a
j tiling as i am capable of at present.
1 So I offer no apologies for it.”
Was that not the sane and honest
stand to t ike, and was it not more
pleasant to her hearers than to have
her deprecate that she had done “so
poorly?” When one has performed
any ta^k to the best of one’s ability,
there is* no reason why one should
not acknowledge the truth. If one
is at heart and in effort sincere, he
need not be ashamed. After all,
nothing is really contemptible except
affectation and sham.
Yes, of Coursel Why?
An auitucie of self-appreciation is
entirely compatible with true mod
esty. A man need not be conceited
to be aware that, he has done well.
A great artist was exhibiting a
painting he had just completed.
That is a beautiful picture!” ex
claimed a friend to him.
“I know it, and J love it.” was the
painter’s naive rejoinder.
"What a pretty dress that is you
have on!” said one woman to an
other.
“Yes, that is \vh.\ I bought it." the
| wearer replied, smilingly. I think
j myself that it is very pretty."
I Of course she did. If not. why
I purchase it?
^ it yrARlK wants to bet me five
|\/| dollars that you’re married.’’
* ' * said the Headwaitress io the
, Kteafiy Customer.
‘Why?” asked.
“Well, she rays her brother is a phiz-
I< gy student—”
“A what?” queried the Steady Ous-
tomc:*.
"Why, he’s a face expert." explained
1 the Head waitress, “u sort of parlor fiy-
i cop like this feller Shylock Holmes. He
cat !» jk at anybody's phir and tell you
all about them. That’s why they call
phizology.”
‘‘What Is there about my face that
I makes Marie think I'm married?” uslced
the Ptecdy (lufioir.cr.
•*You’ll have to ask Marie,” replied
:hc Th adwaitrtss. “! flguied you were
single because the- bottom button • :i
your overcoat hasn’t been with you for
two weeks, and I’m willirg to her « i
my buttonolo^y against all of her ptiiz-
ol« gy. I dun t believe in that kind of
.stuff anyway. Now you take >hnt tall,
dark, mysteric us-looklr.g guy that comes
in heic with you sometimes. I figured
him to be a man with a awful >past, a
sort oi gee-but-I-could-tell-scare- mr-
rlble-things-if-I-wanted-to, bloke. When
I first saw* him I v/as willing to bet he’d
call for black coffee and sinkcr.s in a
hoarse voice.”
“And what did he do?” asked the
Steady Customer.
“He asked me for a bowl of milk anti
crackers in the softest voice *1 ever
hearJ,” answered tho Head waitress,
“ar.d em.ed up with apologising because
ne asked for a second glass of water.
Gee. if all the blokes that came in here
waa a.i polite as your friend I’d hand
’em water enough to flood Dayton all
over again if they asked for it.”
"Nevertheless, there is something In
studying faces,” said the Steady Hus
tomer. “When I chose to sit at you ta
bic, Louise, I figured from your face
that you we:e an attentive, fui.-loving
girl, whose i uti.ral charms would go
a great way to aid digestion."
“You dor. 4 need ro digestion-aider."
► aid the Head waitress: what y< u need
is a license, a collar and a chain, for I
never seep anybody g* t away with tau-
and mashed potatoes like you do.”
“Marie,“ said the Steady Customer to
t' *• cashier us he was paying ids check,
“what is then about my face that made
you bet Louise I was married?”
“A serious expression," answered
Marie.
“You are a very observing girl," said
the Steady Customer.
BACKACHE
A SYMPTOM
Of More Serious Illness Ap
proaching. Mrs. Ben
der’s Case.
cSd
A
Tin
Disconsolate
By Wex Jones
POOR litth* chicken looked gloomy and glum,
Instead of all fluffy and flip,
And feebly it cheeped. “< »h, this world’s on the
For the poor little thing lmd the pip.
The pip-ip-lp-ip.
poor little thing had the pip.
[>?<]
bum.
Th sun an as bright as n ne w-minted dime,
But that drooping wee chick wouldn’t skip;
It was having the mournfulest posDble time.
For the poor little thing had the pip.
The pip-ip-ip-ip.
The poor little thing had the pip.
o don't think the world is a
If mayhap you have loosened you:*
The sun's shining stiii; get a s u fie <
And never give in to the pip,
The pip-ip-ip-ip.
No. re ve. give in to the pip.
orld is a mal o d place.
grip;
on your face.
Backache is j* symptom of organic
weakness or derangement. If you
have backache don’t neglect it. T«»
get permanent relief you must reach
the root of the trouble. Read abou*
Mrs. Bender’s experience.
St. James, Afo.— “About a year ago
I was Irregular, had cramps every
month, headache
and c onstiin t
backache. 1 took
LyuDi K. Pink-
h u in's Vegetable
Compound and
used the Sana
tiv • Wash and 1
am relieved of all
my troubles and .
am in perfect
health. I shall
recommend your
medicine to all
my friends and
you may publish
ir the benefit of
Miss Anna
: .,
i his testimonial
other suffering women
Bender, St. James, Missouri.
Another Case.
Dixon. Iowa.—“I have been tak
ing Lydia fc'.. Pinkbam'fi Vegetable
t ’ompound for some time and it lias
done me much good. My back trou
bled me very much. It seemed w’eak
I had much pain and I was not as
regular as I should have been. The
Compound has cured these troubles
and I recommend tt to all my friends.”
— Mrs. Bertha Dierksen, Box 10iL
Dixon. Iowa.
If you have the slightest doubt that
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com
pound will help you. write to Lydia
E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (confiden-
tiel), Lynn. Maes., for advice. Your
letter will be opened, read and an
swered by a woman, and held in
strict confidence.
K a
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