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Ella Wheeler Wilcox
LETTER TO A
ELEPHANT POWER AND THE PLOW
WA&Z2
Home Is the Ante-Room to Heaven and
Should Be Patterned on That Plan
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
NUMBER IV.
T O a Young Bride: Your letter,
full ^f happiness and homey
ness, was a delight to read.
It is good to know you are so deep
ly interested in your home;'and that
you have started your married life
with such an ideal instead of wasting
the first year in a hotel or boarding
house, or on the dangerous Bohemian
style of living, so often popular with
young married women.
Home is my idea of the ante-rbom
to heaven, and should be patterned on
that plan. You say your home is
tiny, but that is all the better for a
beginning.
There is so much to think about n
home making, and if you learn m
have perfect details and to keep per
fect order in a small home, it will be
come a simple matter for you to carry
out the same system when your abode
enlarges.
Make Your House Pretty.
You are so pleasing to look upon
that It will be like a jewel In a box.
If you make your little house pretty
in every department.
I know you have great taste in col
ors, and that everywhere your cur
tains and rugs and walls and dra
peries will be beautiful in tone, and
there will be no clashing or glaring
colors.
And I can imagine the happiness of
your husband when he comes home
and sees you tastefully garbed, wag
ing him in your pretty room.
Remember the need of a man for a
room all his own. Arrange such spa “
for him even at the sacrifice of som ■
luxuries you might enjoy otherwise.
An English woman writing about
American homes justly criticised
them for this very lack; and the cor
responding lack in the heart of lh j
wife, who did not realize the fact that
every man on earth wanted a room
which was all his own—one into which
no other person entered unless in
vited as a guest; one where he coul l
sit quite undisturbed and be alone
if the mood for solitude or a quiet
smoke .seized him.
Don’t Pester Him.
And be sure if such a qiooii seize
your man, to leave him to its enjoy
ment: and do not imagine lie lias
ceased to love you, because he may
like to read his paper there or smoke
his cigar or take a nap, maybe, aloae
by himself.
,1 hope yeur little domain lias a
pieaBant kitchen and maid’s room.
If this part of the house has been
neglected by the architect, try to
brighten it as much as possible in
your treatment of it. For when you
think of the important part a good
domestic plays in a home, it should
seem an important tiling to give hr;'
as much comfort and convenience as
possible, and to give her pretty and
attractive things to please her eye
sr.d train her taste to an understand,
mg of beauty.
If your husband belongs to a club
make the hours of his going and com
ing as pleasant as lie was accustomed
to find them when a bachelor. Be- ,
fore lie married you, quite possibly
he gave up many club evenings to be
with you; but now that lie has you
all the time, it is quite natural lie
should want to be with bis men I
friends occasionally.
Bon’t Play the Martyr.
L>o not play the martyr or ad the
role of the neglected wife.
It would be well if you joined a
club of your own, and if you are
musical it would be wise to arrange j
a little evening of music at home Ihe
night he goes to his club or lodge.
Nothing keeps .a man more inter
ested in a woman than the knowledge
that she can interest herself, and
that she can call about her an agree
able circle instead of sitting at home
moping.
Take up some study early in your
married life.
Your husband is a wide-awake man j
and in touch with the outer world,
and you must keep abreast of the
times.
Learn a new language or pursue
some line of reading—natural history
would be excellent—for when your
babies come (as J hope they will) all
you learn In this matter will be of
inestimable value to them.
The mother who can begin in the
small years of her* boy's life to tell
him the beautiful and interesting
things about bird and insect and
animal life will never find him want
ing to be a killer of dumb things.
Such a mother was startled recent
ly by having her little boy say.
‘Mother, 1 want to go hunting birds.”
Then he added. “Please buy me a
camera; 1 want to hunt with a
camera; and take pictures of my lit
tle friends myself."
Keep Yourself Beautiful.
Watch yourself after the honey
moon wanes, to see that you do not
grow careless in regard to your per
sonal appearance.
Some brides fade with the wedding
finery; and lose all interest in ap
pearing attractive because they feel |
they have attained their goal: they
are married; and settled; and there
is nothing else to work for. But to
win is ofttimes easier than to keep
what we win. ^
Keep your house beautiful and keep
yourself beautiful. Be the most
amiable, the most sensible, the most
agreeable, the best groomed, the most
loyal and the most loving woman it
will be possible for your husband to
find anywhere.
And make your home the most at
tractive place he can find.
Then if he wanders into forbidden
paths or does not live up to his
vowsv it will be because ho is not
worthy of any woman’s faith. But
a vast number of men who go wrong
are really driven by the‘thoughtless, j
indolent, careless, or disagreeable 1
wife.
Be the very best thing on earth,
and one of the rarest, a really admir
able. lovable wife, and homemaker.
And all other things shall be added
thereunto.
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Are 7 Out of 3 Married Couples Unhappy?
Dorothy Dix Says if So Many Yearned to Break the Bond of Matrimony, I hey Would Do It.
WOTO © UflDUtWOOP & QHbUtwoon ~
;
By DOROTHY DIX
A RK seven out of eight married
Couples unhappy?
A nian out in Oklahoma, who
has been lecturing upon the subject of
the relations of the sexes, declares that
they are.
In this pessimistic sizing tip of the
domestic situation undoubtedly he took
into consideration lit* family spat,
which in the majority of households
j is at much a part of the matutinal
j meal as the coffee and the rolls. In
I fact, generally speaking, it may he as-
■ parted that no breakfast table is com
j plete without one.
I Likewise lie could not have failed to
j notice that there is apparently no topic
•under He sun. from politics to pie,
{ upon whtel a husband and wife can
not get up a heated argument at a mo
ment's notice, and that the only tiling
'upon which they cun agree is to dis-
i agree
1 lie lias heard row's between ihe
j Joneses over the size of the grocery bill,
or whethoi the baby's hair should be
lent or not. or the steak being tough,
j that would seem to lead straight to the
j divorce 11*1*1.
| He has heard Mrs. Jones, in the heal
| of anger, say things to Mr. Jones that
i were past all forgiving; and lie has
j listened while Mr. Jones retorted with
insults that called for some able-bodied
i male relative of Mrs Jones to fall
i upon him and beat him to a pulp.
Has Heard Spats Over Money.
| He observes that when .Mrs. Jones
asks her lord anti master for Ihe nec
essary money to run the house upon, it
' is tlie signal for a storm of crimina
tion. complaints, sneers and gibes upon
her extravagance anti bad management
to burst, and that Mrs. Jones dams the
deluge by a series of counter charges
anti re.cHffiinations about the money a
I man wastes upon his cigars anti drinks
and treating deadbeat friends, and eat
ing expensive lunches, while his poor
wife slaves her life away trying to make
•me dollar do the work of two.
Undoubtedly. likewise —for these
i tilings are not done privately , more's
! the pity—the lecturer has been person-
i ally called upon to referee one of these
| domestic mix-ups, and mentally called
the light a draw when the wife retired
sobbing to her corner, moaning out that
she was “go-go-going ba-a-ack ho-ho-
home to mo-mo-inother,'' and the -man
jabbed on his hat and hanged the front
door behind him and hastened to the
; nearest saloon for spirituous consola-
! tion and refreshment.
Any dispassionate observer, noting
these facts, must conclude that the ma-
jjoriiy of husband* and wives are about
I as congenial as the Kilkenny cats and
that their one ardent desire in fife
must be to break the fetters that bind
DOROTHY DIX
on each
together two natures that
other as fire and u»w
That is the logic of the situation;
but, fortunately, there is no logic in
love You can not judge by what you
see, for the wells of affection lie deep
down in the human soul: they are not
on the surface for every casual passerby
to cast in a line and pfummet and
measure their dept is.
The family scrap Is bad taste, had
manner*, bad ethics, if you like; but ii
is no sort of a sign that the couple
that indulge in it are not devoted to
each other. On Hie contrary, it is
doubtful if any other man anti woman
have as great a perennial fascination
for each other as do those whose na
tures constantly repulse and attract, and
who can neither get along with nor
without each other.
Life for them never settles down into
the commonplace It is a perpetual se
ries of skirmishes, in which now one
is victorious, now the other; but the
fight is always worth the price of ad
mission, and matrimony' becomes a sort
of bushwhacking warfare, which may
not be tiie ideal of the holy state, but
is undeniably thrilling.
Dr Holmes once said that ihe reason
that families broke up and scattered to
the four corners of the world was to keep
tlie Browns from being Browned into the
asylums, atul the Smiths from being
Smithed into the grave.
In tlie same way, it is evident that the
family spat was devised by nature to
break Ihe awful monotony of domestic
life, and keep husbands and wives from
The Headwaitress
By HANK
taking the coffee pot and the carving
knife to each other when they could no
longer endure hearing each other make
the same remark about the same sub-
| jecis every day. If they couldn’t quar
rel, they must Inevitably fight; and when
all is said, hard words break no bones.
That married couples really enjoy a
tiff is amply proven by the fact that
they deliberately do things that bring It
on. They introduce topics that are like
the waving of a red flag before a mad
1 Lull when they might just as w'el! keep
Why are men and women who are tact ;
j itself in dealing with others, apparently*
brutal in their relationship with each
I her? Simply and solely because they’
okc the rumpus they create, they enjoy
ihe verbal duet, and they couldn’t live
without the fillip of the make-up.
Nor do husbands and wives take each
other’s saying seriously. Mrs. Jones
, isn't crushed and mortified to death
about Mr. Jones’ remarks about money’
every time she asks him for a penny, as
one would think she would be, or she
would not go to him a second time. She
would fori e some financial arrangement
that would save her feelings and her
pride.
Little Meant; Easily Forgiven.
For she knows that Jones is really \
generous fellow, that he wants his far#*- -
j il.v to have the very things he makes
I such a pother about their having, and
his attitude of being held up and robbed
by his wdfe is simply the fun he gets
tor Ids work—his way of bragging an>d
railing attention to the luxuries in which
lie indulges his wife and children. J r i
He simply loves to have her come and
ask him for money. That’s the reason
A Tf ”1
lie doesn t make her an allowance.
Furthermore, husbands and wives for
give and forget tlie hard words each
says in moments of anger, because maf-
tied life goes so much deeper than atiry^v
speech.
It is not the quick outburst of tempers.
j that a man remembers, but the loyalty,
i the faith, the unswerving devotion thati 3
Ids wife has given him, the days she hdtf
bent over the cooking stove for him, tlf® ?
smiles she wore when things were dark
and. hard, the vigils she has kept by his
; sickbed.
It is not tiie swear word a man rips
i out. or ills growling over his dinner, that
a woman treasures and broods over in
memory; but the way he has toiled for’
her. the tenderness he has shown her,
the protecting arm that she sees him in- ,
1 ter posing between her and the world.
It is this that makes the marriage tie
tite most elastic but the strongest bond
in the world, and you can never con
vince me. for one, that seven out of
j eight people yearn to break it.
Else they would do It.
“ML
Medicine Time of the Year
T
HIS is the medicine time of the
year,” remarked the young
woman who had come to call.
There are I don’t know how many dif-
erent assortments of medicine in our
ouse in as many different places.
“Papa keeps bis medicine in the bath
com. I keep the baby's in the nursery,
lob keep his behind the mirror in the
all. Jane keeps hers in a vegetable
!sh on the buffet. Tlie maid keeps
ers in tlie basement. Dick keeps his
onlc out in the garage.
••T did keep the baby's medicine in
lie sewing machine at first, but tlie
ottles accumulated so fast that I had
o get more room for them.
"She used to have two small bottles.
Cow she has six large ones.
“But papa ha* the worst assortment!
Co one is allowed to meddle with his
•ottles. yet he is forever roaring about
oxne one disturbing them and chang-
ng them around and tasting* them.
“There are a few toothbrushes in the
ame chest with his beverages, and he
hinks they are kept there merely to
five us an excuse to meddle with his
•reclous medicine. He. says if we are
tot careful there will be a mixup that
vill result in his being poisoned.
“There used to#be a small bottle of
hoe polish in the very top of his rned-
cine repository, ai)d papa got up in the
light, rather sleepy, and took a dose
»f it for his cough. Thinking it tasted
ather funny, he turned on the light.
tVhen he saw it was shoe polish he had
iold of, he threw the polish and every
thing else that wasn’t his own medi-
ine out of the window.
“Bob complains of the dust that gets
n his medicine bottle, but as back of
the mirror is the only safe ‘place for it,
lie has no alternative.
“The maid thinks it hard that she
has to go down into the basement to
get her tonic. And poor Dick! lie has
to be constantly on the alert that he
does not drink machine oil or turpen
tine or something. He vows that lie
took turpentine for a week, and thought
his tonic was tasting rather mild, for
it generally tasted like ground-up fire
works. Then lie discovered that it was
only turpentine that he had been taking.
“I don’t know whether papa's are the
worst doses or not. but he makes the
worst faces. My! I wouldn’t look at him
again when lie is in tlie act of taking
his tonic for worlds! He wouldn't let
any one see him take a dose of his
latest tonic, anyway. It would be just
like seeing a hanging, he says. So he
goes into the hath room and shuts and
bertts the door. After a time, we hear
a sputter ami a .yell, such as you would
expect from some one suddenly Im
mersed in ice water. Th’en he comes out
still making faces and looking very sad
and injured.”
T HE ivvo pictures above illus
trate hoiv plowing is done
in India and how an Eng
lish farmer made use of an ele
phant to prepare his lands.
In tlie upper picture may be
seen the primitive plow of India
and seated upon the neck of the
beast the driver. Behind tlie plow
is another native who guides it.
in the lower picture the Eng
lishman is shown guiding a mod
ern plow—made in the United
States, by the way. He also does
the driving by word of mouth.
This Englishman declare* that
lie has secured better plowing: in
less time with one elephant than
lie could have dome in the same
time with three or four farm
horses.
On the Bad Habit of Apologizing Too Much
By VIRGINIA TERHUNE VAN DE WATER
Cutting.
UT WOULD box your ears," said a
* young lady to her stupid and tire
some admirer, “if”—-
“If what?” he asked anxiously.
If," she repeated, “1 could get a box
large enough for the purpose."
T HE apology has become a nui
sance. This may sound brutal,
but it is true. Not the humble
apology which the wrongdoer makes
to the person he has wronged. That
is dignified and to lie respected. But
the needless apology with which we
are all familiar ha* become a nui
sance.
“I don't like to take a meal in
Mrs. Blank’s house,” said a woman
the other day. “for she apologizes
for everything she sets before one.
It is, ‘I am afraid thfre is too much
salt in this soup,’ or. ‘Oh. dear, this
meat is tough! I am so sorry!’ or,
‘My dear, this is a very plain din
ner. I hope you will pardon me for
having such a. simple meal to-night.’
And nil the time everything is as
nice as it can he, and the only
things I can not excuse are her ex
cuses.
Let Them Think!
A woman who does not apologize
except when courtesy and common
sense demand w gave a dinner on
the evening of the day that a now
cook had been installed in her
kitchen. To her secret dismay the
strawberries- -the first of the sea
son—were brought to the table
heap'd in tlie center of a platter'
plentifully garnished with parsley.
“What did you say?” asked the
friend to whom the hostess men - <
tioned the incident the following day.
“Hay? Nothing! I had a right to
garnish my strawberries with any
thing i chose. 1 let my guests sup
pose that it was an innovation—a
new thing in decorations-if they
thought anything at all about it. 1
certainly did not caii attention to
my cook’s mistake."
She was a wise woman. Tlie habit
of apology, if persisted in, affects
one’, self-confidence, for one at last
assumes a deprecatory attitude
about herself and her possessions.
She fears that she “doesn’t look just
right” when she goes abroad; she
feels that her own home is not as
handsome as her neighbor’s house,
and intimates as much; she at last
gets to the point when she is con
tent with nothing that belongs to
her. And all the while her long-suf
fering friends pat her figuratively
speaking -on the back and try to
reassure her.
“Do not apologize,” advised a wise
man, ‘‘unless you have been guilty
of actual wrongdoing. It lowers your
self-respect.”
Not long ago 1 heard a woman say
of a piece of work into which she
had put her best efforts:
“There! That is done as well a*
I can do it. It may not be as excel-
lent at* somebody else could have
made it. but I know It is as Rood a
thing as I am capable of at present.
S^o 1 offer no apologies for it."
Was that not tire sane and honest
stand to take, and was it i*u more
pleasant to her hearers than to have
her deprecate that she had done "so
poorly?" When one has performed
any task to ttie hest of one’s ability,
there is no reason why one should
not acknowledge the truth. ■ If one
is at heart and in effort sincere, he
need not be ashamed. After all,
nothing is really contemptible .except
affectation and sham.
Yes, of Course, Why?
An attitude of self-appreciation i.s
entirely compatible with true mod-
etfty. A man need not be conceited
to lie aware that he has done well
A great artist was exhibiting ' si
painting he had just completed.
“That is a beautiful picture!” ex
claimed a friend to him.
"I know it. and I love it,” was the
painter’s naive rejoinder.
“What a pretty dress that is you
have on!” said one woman to an
other.
“Yes, that is why ! bought it,” the
wearer replied, smilingly. “I think
myself that it is very pretty.”
Of course she did. If not. why
purchase it?
AR1IC wants to bet me five
dollars that you're married,”
ia1fl the Headwaitress to the
Siea<i.\ Customer
“Why?” he asked.
"Well, she says her brother is a phiz
jplogy student -
“A what?'' queried the Steady Cus
tomer.
"WAc lie's a face expert," explained
the Head wait reset, "u sort of parlor fly-
cop like this feller Shy lock Holmes. He
can look at anybody's phiz and tell you
all about them.. That's why the\ call
i.s phizology."
“What is there about my face that
makes Marie think I'm married?'' asked
the, Steady Customer.
‘‘You’ll have to ask Marie," replied
Hie Headwaitress. “I figured you were
single hecguse the bottom button on
your overcoat hasn't been with you for
two weeks, and I’m willing to bet on
my buttonology against all of her-phiz-
Ology. I don't believe .in that kind of
stuff anyway. Now you take that tali,
dark, mysterious-looking guy that conies
in here with you sometimes. I figured
him to be a man with a awful past, a
sort of gee-but -I-could -1ell-some- ter
rible-things-if-1-wanted-to. bloke. When
I first saw him I was willing to bet he’d
call for black coffee and sinkers in a
hoarse voice.”
“And what did he do?" asked the
Steady Customer.
“He asked me for a bowl of milk ami
crackers in the softest voice I ever
heard." answered the Headwaitress.
"aid cubed up with apologizing because
he asked for a second glass of water.
Lee. if all the blokes that came in here
vtas as polite as your friend I’d hand
'em water enough to flood Dayton ah
over again if they asked for It."
“Nevertheless, there is something in
studying faces." said the Steady Cus
tomer. “When I chose to sit at you ta
ble, Louise, I figured from your face
that you were an attentive, fun-loving
Ifirl. whose natural charms would go
a great way (o aid digestion."
“You don’t need no digestion-aider,"
said the Heudwuitress; “what you need
is a license, a collar and a chain, for 1
never seen anybody get away with sau
sages anti mashed potatoes like you do."
"Marie,” said the Steady Customer to
•lie cashier us he was paying his check,
“what is there about my face that made
you bet Louise I was married?"
“A serious expression.’’ answered
Marie.
"You are a very observing girl." said
tlie Steady Customer.
t>?<3 Disconsolate
o?<]
By Wcx Jones
i'oOJR little chicken looked gloomy and glum.
Instead of all fiufl!\ and Hip.
And fci blv it cheeped, “Oh, this world's on Ihe bum,*
For the poor little thing had \he pip,
The pip-ip-ip-ip.
poor little thing had the pip.
The sun was as bright as a new-minted dime,
But that drooping wee (hick wouldn’t skip;
It was having the mournfulest possible time,
For the poor little thing had t lie pip,
The pip-ip-Ip-lp.
The poor little thing had Ihe pip.
So don't think the world is a .!** nial old plac e.
If mayhap you have loosened your grip;
The jtun’s shining still: get a smile on your face.
And never give in to the pip,
The pip-ip-ip-ip.
No, never give in to the pip.
BACKACHE
A SYMPTOM
Of More Serious Illness Ap
proaching. Mrs. Ben
der’s Case.
Backache is a symptom of organic
weakness 1 or derangement. If you
; have backache don’t neglect it. To
| get permanent relief you must reach
• the root of the trouble. Read about
| M rs. Bender's exp< rieni e.
St James, Mo.—“About a year ago
i was Irregular, had cramps every
month, headache
and constant
backache. I took
Lydia E. Pink-
h a m’s Vegetable
(‘ompound and
used the Sana
tive Wash and 1
am relieved of aii
my troubles and
am in perfect
health. I shall
recommend your
medicine to ail
my friends and
lou may publish
this testimonial for the benefit of
other suffering women.”—Miss Anna
Bender, St. James, Missouri.
Another Case.
Dixon. Iowa.—“1 have been tak
ing Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
< ’ompound for some time and it has
done me much good. My back trou
bled me very much. It seemed weak.
I had much pain anil I was not as
regular as I should have been. The
(’ompound has cured these troubles
and l recommend it to all my friendB.”
—Mrs. Bertha Dierksen, Box 102,
Dixon. Iowa.
If you have the slightest doubt that
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com
pound will help you, write to Lydia
E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (confiden
tial), Lynn, Mass., for advice. Ydur
letter will be opened, read an#H!.
swered by a woman, and hel<3
strict confidence.
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