Atlanta Georgian. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, April 20, 1913, Image 59

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' '! * i> !S ! tO L\ Ls XI V7 2. i ZL/ >/7r\ 41 4. BIST HUMOR, MOV1NO PICTURES. VAUDEVILLE. ATLANTA, GA., SUNDAY. APRIL 20. 1913. How Criminals Escaoe From Prison Another extraordinary revelation of life in the Underworld, by Sophie Lyons, the * 'Queen of the Burglars IN THIS Sunday’s American Life in the Land of the Free List By T. E. POWERS, the Famous Cartoonist OffPfrtfht, 111*, by th« Star Company Great Britain Rights Reserved. HTf! COME BACK,! And pay Tor your MEAL r <5WAN! fa>D is on the FREE LIST.' \ fmE Food MISTER CAW 1 Wane, THAT FREE PIAMOMOS tweatketickets OH THE fkee Li 57 L. SAN. SMITH CIVE ME 5t worn. WH€N THE TA)C 15 OFF BE ETC LA 0Y CAN You qiVE A POOR MAN A EMTEld EAT WHEN. AUTOMOBILES ARE OH THE FREE UET WHAT HAVE TouTHERE? PARQAIN IM STEEL RAIL5 }—35 Humorous Travelogue by De Wolf Hopper He Is Just Back from the Road and Tells All About the Great Northwest Copyright, 1913, by The Star Company. Gr*at Britain Rights Reserved. .De Wolf Hopper s Map of the Northwest. G ENTLEMEN and flatterers, you simply can't con jecture how grateful I am to be paroled once more, Just after having completed my two-year sentence at hard labor on the road. And then at last —when the reprieve did come—I thought It never would —how I did burst forth with my ticket of leave, and after spending money like water, a veritable financial Niagara so to splash, here X am. I had the temerity to ask several of my sworn, swear ing friends whether they had missed me. They all agreed that my absence made the heart grow fonder— of the theater. You know the kind of people I mean— when I arrived in town they met me at the station with a hearse. Sometin. • they say the sky’s the limit. Well, that day even the sky looked black. The land to which I had passed away with my mourners is known as the Great Northwest, with a little Canadian on the side. It is in reality the land of per ennial tonics quinine, not alcoholic. The man who made out oar route discovered more places not on the map than any person in the world’s history. But I can account for that. I have since found out that he is a direct descendant of Columbus. And believe me, he has progressed in his methods with the times. He sat here in his offlce and discovered the places, then he sent us out to nnt for the gold he said they had there. But really the natives out that way are charming creatures. When it comes to optimism they have Chris tian Science looking like Omaha after the tornado. Why, when it's sixty degrees below zero there they think Spring is coming. 1 asked one man if they ever had any Summer. He said he didn't quite know, because he had only lived there eleven months. You have to take it for granted that it's beautiful country, for the towns are always covered with six feet of snow. One lovely city in the icy desert of Canada is , altM Kock Sjv'ngs. They Yarned it in honor of the beds In the hoirtifc 4*4* there were Wm-gt amazing features about our hotel that I can never for get Shades of P. T. Barnum! Don you know, they had the biggest, tallest waitress that could carry the smallest steak that was ever stuck. We had the meanest landlord. He was so mean that he would steal a dead fly from a blind spider. Why, you lucky people never stop to realize how you are blessed with Nature’s luxuries. Here you are com plaining just because you can’t get booze after 1 a. m. Huh! In that place that measly, miserly landlord turned off the water after 1 a. m. The people come to the theater in evening dress, however. But, however again, their evening dress is buffalo robes. We poor thespians in our open-face clothes would almost freeze to death when we caught a glimpse of the audience. Lucky for us we had a warm show. Oh, you folks don’t know what it is to bo in cold storage for two years—not even excepting the chickens that we have with us this evening. We brought a little touch of realistic local color into the show. When the curtain ros# m one of our scenes a mat was hej>«Mne down nitw the gras-* >■5"' it seem natural to those Eskimos w > gave inis man an ice-sickle to cut with. For my next road tour I have engaged Rear Admiral Peary for our guide. Then we’ll he prepared to play any refrigerator fom Klondike to Patagonia. I've heard that there are a lot of nice places in Northern Alaska. Who knows, I might buy a Summer home up 'hero. No mosquitoes, no electric fans. Great place to get lid of the ice-cream habit. Funny thing, when I’m away from home I get home sick; when I’m home I actually get a yearning for those Canadian Northwest villas now and then; road- sick, as it were. But I can cure such attacks very effec tively. Whenever I feel that way I simply get into my pajamas and sit on a cake of ice. Then oil the charms of that delightful country are brought home to me. Now I realize that certain gentlemen are keeping their places of business open just for your especial benefit (and theirs), at this tiipe of the evening. As ’ (he curtain drops at the dltchiiy ^,of one o'clock— ours, them- nnif_ in { •,]] „ 1! jf rv i nur- ried. not