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The Dingbat Family Anecdotes by Famous People The Old Man Learns Something New riman /"Thus Do Vou LeAR^Tn/vr ,4aj ' U/vriPe. Yha,t You may learn The feErr&fc. amjY. -WOftE, iA«T7/U6LY M'i CElEsTiAl hope It would Be Weil. That You / - STASre OF Ttoi FRuiT /HAllAJt. /MUCH Yo\ / lEARAJ. "MY OW)' I AliD AlO toARbEW OF EDEAJ*7o L05& U'iL TASTE, rr - ? Ac M That PEASI/MMOAJ is A saiaee A/uts aL ■" —Delusiwu, A/vp> A fruit _ Oi \ UERV Deceitful /aj iri \ Jtw*& \HABITS, A TH/AJU < L we 5wouu> Au. BeO) Jr^/^TtiiF 'to J f Thoot^. /ADy Fa I ft", I Au EVER. EEADV ' Fur. a Bit of /ato v BE it FR.OM A FRUiT OR BE 'T Fqom Ay ^VEGETABLE -j ,tf»MV /MV HEA*T-, we A C'PpAt cesscw F Ro/w &U» A tEMOW a FAL /oujlv But Deliquously, So To- DAV I HAve I HOPE you! ATXH -^r CEAftM •././‘-’TOT’- r % I .»« t,0 SSSfW'** *. CHAHCt To oHOU) A HEAP Of VIOLENCE A FAFAlLETTS OF ALL That is rEAJTLE im HUMOR. UlESit SOPE, AAOAJE.ys I6AJAT2 ) VF A 6*tAT PA i cm A SnoulK' Aye TooTPut \ BuT I Still V Am AT A Loss\ *1 Aj To Hcu>> ( _ A^That Eajrkhe”s XYou —/ avey /Mo/uev 5AV You * ( iHow AlOAiey Ucecl. A iuT I &OT T -x |THE ORIGINAL /here i Before me, At^-> V AidrH/Ajfcr The /' o\ tcost * y f r JUST^W/WK I&A/AT2 " OfL, 'The Mouays I Am /MAKhoo (U ZOOK/*)* At Thi& < ' I WOUbCEpyt-S A«Jo C - vFFAuTiVul S CEWSSCAPB /PAIWT TheS AEMESiCAPES < yuooLb Some Rich ham MoT \S4ve Him At least C"~-T XSDCftrrs For It *jStK A Barrel MiCKL V quick i 1 Irishman, “ye must be doing a mighty tine business, ye ain't got but one left.” Edison's Story. Mr. Thomas A. Edison was accept ing blandly a reporter’s apology for an error in a quotation. "Oh,” Mr. Edison said, “I am rather well used to being misquoted. Electrical terms are always confusing to the lay min i. No wonder. Listen to this.” Here Mr. Edison drew a telegram from his pocket. "I got this telegram from an assistant electrician this morning.” he said. "Listien.'' And he read: "Wire with no outside outside. Put inside wire outside and outside inside. Need more outside for inside.” He Knew. It was a pa/rty of visitors seeing the sights in Pittsburg that final i* entered the conservatory presented to the city by Mr. Phipps. The curator while showing them around was called away on business and left the visitors in charge of one of the clerks. They came to a beautiful statue which was admired immensely. It was of translucent marble. He point ed out the excellencies of the statue, told the name of the sculptor, anc/ showed it from even* viewpoint. One asked: "Alabaster, isn’t it?” “No,” hj said, “Venus.’* A Club Yarn. The following good story was told i not long ago at one of the Atlanta | clubs: One or two young officer^ were dining together at a restaurant night, and the conversation be came a discussion on lies and lying there was a Ma Is an Ardent Recruit Copyright, 1013, International News Se*rioa. Do Yfcu MEAN ~To$TAMDiHERE AU'TELL ME Yfcf? WILLIN' To BE- Classed with The do Vex* M E/4 w To Tell ME Ybu D0W7 W4N7 a Voice IM THE 6oVEPWMEw7 ? 4BE Vfc>U WILLING To Be CLASSED WITH "THE AMD FELONS ■ I NM4WT You To WE4R ONE OF These 'i/oTeS For women Bi/T foNS MA EY£RVBOOV"S [ Ddin it ! y do you BE LI EYE )Kl VflTIES FOR VX/OMEM, DELI CIA ? Tee! hee.-’ I SHOULD WORRY ABOUT The VOTE T4kt a Away folly ne Got TROUBLE ■ENOUGH . N CW AShamed of ^/OU, MA THE VERY \PEAH of Such a “Thihg! ! lowiifts am- BUMS' ^ IDIOTS n <— By Tom McNamara Eaglebeak Spruder Is Almost Too Popular P<*n*t*r«d United State* Patent Offloa one generally, and finally warm debate as to who was the big gest liar known to them. An old gen- I tleman sitting at a table near was unable to avoid overhearing the dis cussion. and after a few minutes he | rose and came over to their table. “I have just heard you decide, gentle- ] men.’' he said gravely, “that Lieutem- | ant Arthur is the biggest linr have ever met. I am his fa- AM GCf AuiAY Wltn YlbLHHj From YA To^feoME TELL MA TO TEU PA THAT YOU POURED \ SISTER'S SOLD FISHES INTO THE 'PONOGRAPH' HORN, SCE \ f<r=^ L -/Mm I OONT? r— ' tjmk ’ I AIN'T 60NNA PLAT NO MORE• SKINNY SHAME R'S 600617 DEPARTMENr SHANE R'S EAST DRAUlING LESSONS NO- 4- ^ £v - GOOD!. !■ SISTER'S 6oT HIM'. AGAIN HUH ? - I CAfCHED YA - YOU PRACTISE ALL THE VMAY DOWN TD THE ' POFESSERS HOUSE ELSE HI f GONNA BS-A'HOLDOUTER" lU STICK HERE AND Taf x T> PIPE OFF I \ ^ THE GAME ; ffiRfW / HE'LL X HAFTER OAMOOSf P16 INI BARREL dnjkH«n, to yp&iruiaifo Ml CM’T YOU fJEUER TEU UJHEP.E A P/N (S 60IN6 * i you I ther. After a few seconds' embarrassed silence one of the young officers be gan to stammer apologies, but the i old man waved them aside. “No, no.” he said, “don’t apologize: it’s quite unnecessary. I was only going ; to say that If you regard my son Ar- ! thur as the biggest liar you have ever I met you can not possibly have met my | other son. Richard.’’ The Editor’s Story. A certain editor Is credited with having related this story: He once ordered a story of a certain length and discovered the novelist had writ ten several hundred words too many. In order to make the story fit the space at his disposal the last few paragraphs were condensed Into a single sentence. This is the way it read: “Von Berken took a small glass of whisky, his hat, his departure, no notice of his pursuers, a revolver out of his pocket, and finally his life.” Mr. Barrie’s Best. It is said of Mr. J. M. Barrie that he is rather shy and retiring in man ner and one of the “most enjoyable* social functions” he ever attended was, it is said, a dinner in which he' turned to his neighbor and asked, “Do you converse?” “No. I don’t,” replied his neighbor. “Neither do I,” said Mr. Barrie, comfortably. Not To Be Believed. Mr. “Johnnie” Schofield, the come dian, relates an amusing story. A certain doctor had a patient. One day he came to the doctor in great trou ble. During the night, he said, he had accidentally swallowed a mouse. The doctor told him to get a cat and some fried cheese and to lie on his back with his mouth open and the cheese on his nose. “Then,” said the doctor, “when the mouse smells the cheese he will come up for It, and the cat will then be able to catch it.” The man thanked him and went home. But the next day he was back again in worse trouble than ever. “Well, did you do as I told you?” asked the doctor. “Yes,” said the man, “but while I was lying on my back I fell off to sleep. Now the cat is missing,/ and I’m afraid it has gone down' after the mouse.” BECAUSE iT is beaoed one WAS and pointed another- order:,-order: order! dutM’j PfR/OM 0 ' L"-<-IAk) lEFFieiR EIGHTH STREET- 0. S.A. MAt KINO OF A CRIME DO A SLEEPING BOY REPRESEiVrHOW ? AkJSWER ilJ ■TO /YURRooJ 5 HEY, that's the MATTER j HEY CUT OUT THAT RACKET you're eusXlN' UP BUSINESS 6AUJAN WCiUkJ. PRACTISE louder: , im ADARviElODS EA6LEBEAK SPRDDER. DEMONSTRATES BIS POPULARITY tu iTh THE fams BY BusTimg up .YESTERDAYS GAME 'BEFORE ITSIARTED ^AUAGeR FL-rww iG YOl'SE Fans? - Comp BACK HERE TFe GAME STARTS in SECOND' J A <FNTLE MAh ) ESt The NAf*1E OF K SArq just phoned he ex RUIHT OVER fnd join \ou: ^ OH HUBB-, - 'M'aS, JONES IS teaching me to turket trot- AND I V.ANT too to dance -- to ! DlO NOV, dear CONE ON WITH U*b AND HAVE Dinner anc EXE E>OME HOOD turret trots TUPkET yrot- eh- mv vord : JUST Th,„ n Of N>F UEAVINq RONE to SEE “such foolish dancing cone on- lif A <|00D FtU-OVi for once: VjT-TUT . NOT me - THATEj Too foolish to even FHINN OF' oh : The Gan an a Peel slip'i Oh, It’s Great To Be Married ! T :T”n ; 1 <srsd . -S —m—" ■ifcif l iiiTTnr n r \ Copyright, 1013. Int«rn*t1on«l N>w» Service. * mi * • • • • • • • • i—nr - i ?— \ 1 i Tt*«" tumuu a . PAPER'. By George McManus ■ -