Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

By Herriman The Dingbat Family Anecdotes by Famous People The Old Man Learns Someth Copyright, lfll, International New* Aerrlee. Thos Do Vou LcARM That Aaj UNRiPe. That You may i ears' The. Fetter. 4ms\ AicftE, iAsr/wt>ty /uy CetgsTiAL Hope. It ujoui-d Be. weu. That You/——- TTA3te OF Thu FRoiT --T /HAV/IM& /Much Tb\ 'My otXjAj' I AOD AlO GrARbEA) OP- EDEM'To cose U iL taste it - &HOOT . MDy I AM EVER. READy / Foe. A ftiT OF lOjFC Be it FP.OM A FRUIT or be »t from at O-^fmace. -f"' Persiai/moaj is A snare Aaid al —;ty Delusicaj, Aa/D A FRuit —, \ UERY DECEITFUL. /AJ ITS 5 >«Ew Y HABITS. A TNMJ&ciy L.WE should All be.) N O one had a greater fund of short stories at her disposal ttvnn the late Lady Dorothy Nevlll, and one In particular that she used to relate was of a very good- natured lady who was always helping a relative of hers who was very ex travagant. Having one summer lent this feather-brained creature a con siderable sum of money, what was her surprise at the end of the season to be applied to again 1n order that what were described as some pressing debts might be settled. "I am very sorry,” said the kind-hearted lady, “but I can’t possibly help you again Just now. In order to lend you that money some time ago I was forced to go without a motor this season." “Dear me,” was the reply, "If I had only known that I should have been delighted to have lent you mine.” A Lawyer’s Story. Mr. James T. Brady, a New York lawyer, tells this amusing story. When he first opened an office In New York he took a basement /room j which had been previously occupied , by a cobbler. He was somewhat an noyed by the previous occupant’s call ers, and Irritated by the fact that ho had' few of his own. One day an Irishman entered. “The cobbler’s gone, I see,” he said. “I should think h% had,” tartly responded Brady. “And / what do you sell?” said the visitor, i looking at the solitary table and a few law books. “Blockheads,” re sponded Brady. “Begorra,” said the Irishman, “ye must be doing a mighty line business, ye ain’t got but one left.” Edison’s Story. Mr. Thomas A P crS/MMOM .1 eajT.Y ew tL h Too . J : AMP, ('tO 5 ®: „ceA - , T To t: c* eE ° U I-r,,Y* Te tC. •SORE, iMQMEVL IfeAJATJ (^faOEY Ajoa/EV \sav You 7 ' Aye, loo ! Put A But I Sri cl \ J Am AT A Los?\ \ As To How c J\ThaT FwpitHes ' JdST^HIUK I&IWTT2 ' The Mowbye I Am <«1AKcog i\j Idokuqo, At Tfti^ r-' UtowDEkPuus amo yfi/BAuTi Tpl s LfeMDSCAPP if A &RCAr PaiMteH. Should ,>PAINT This. LEWDSCAPE.S c Vvioocd -Some Rich ciam A/oT) \<5ivt Him At least r ~ -Tj i'The opjcinal he-pe. i Beto&el /Mt, at V aicthiwu- The / &> tCdst ? J M lotu Alouey A BARREL \0F BRiCtcs Y. quick !! By Cliff Sterrett Ma Is an Ardent Recruit Opyrtght, 1918, InUrnatlonal New* Herrioe. Edison was accept- [ \ng blandly a reporter’s apology for an error in a quotation. “Oh,” Mr. Edison said, “I am rather well used i to being misquoted. Electrical terms ; are always confusing to the lay mini. : No wonder. Listen to this.” He*e j Mr. Edison drew a telegram from his ! pocket. “I got this telegram from an assistant electrician this morning,” he said. "Listen.” And he read: “Wire with no outside outside. Put inside j wire outside and outside inside. Need | more outside for inside.” He Knew. It was a party of visitors .seeing the sights in Pittsburg that final , entered the conservatory presented t<» the city by Mr.\Phipps. The curator while showing*: them around was called away on business and left the visitors In charge of one of the clerks statue DO Sfeu FfEAW ToStamo'Thfre I WAWT You To vy/MR ONE of These '\Jo7eS For vy/oMEu" Bulled. MA EVERYBODY'S DoiW IT. 1 Do You ME/4 w To Tell ME Tbu 00W1 WAN'l A VOICE im THE 60VEPWMEWT? A RE VOU Y/iLLiMG To Be classed with t-he AMD FELONS do you BELIEVE IIV VOTES FOR VX/OMEM, DELI CIA ? Tee’ I SHOULD WORRY About the vote » /4h'TeLL ME VEr? WILLIN' To be Classed with the FOlly we 6oT TROUBLE EMOU6H . AJOSL/. 1 yJJfjAMEO THE VERY lj)MR I LowUFtf BUMS' of Such A —Tl-llMCr I —7 IDIOTS n l J They came to a beautiful which was admired immensely. It ; was of translucent marble. He point - ! ed out the excellencies of the statue, told the name of the sculptor, and j showed It from every viewpoint. One | asked: “Alabaster, isn’t it?” “No,” hj ! said, “Venus.” A Club Yarn. The following good story was told not long ago at one of the Atlanta clube: One or two young officers were dining together at a restaurant one night, and the conversation be came a discussion on lies and lying generally, and Anally there was a warm debate as to who was the big gest liar known to them. An old gen tleman sitting at a table near was unable to avoid overhearing the dis cussion, and after a few minutes he rose and came over to their table, "I have Just heard you decide, gentle men,” he said gravely, “that Lieuten ant Arthur ie the biggest Iter you have ever met. I am his fa ther.” After a few seconds’ embarrassed silence one of the young officers be gan to stammer apologies, but the old man waved them aside. “No, no,” he said, "don’t apologize; It’s Quite unnecessary. I was only going to say that if you regard my son Ar thur as the biggest liar you have ever met you can not possibly have met my other son, Richard.” The Editor’s Story. A certain editor is credited with having related this story: He once ordered a story of a certain length : and discovered the novelist had writ ten several hundred words too many. In order to make the story fit the space at his disposal the last few , paragraphs were condensed into a single sentence. This is the way it read: "Von Berken took a. small glass of whisky, his hat, his departure, no notice of his pursuers, a revolver out of his pocket, and finally his life.” Mr. Barrie’s Best. It is said of Mr. J. M. Barrie that he is rather shy and retiring in man ner and one of the “most enjoyable social functions” h e ever attended was, it is said, a dinner in which he turned to his neighbor and asked, “Do you converse?” “No. I don’t,” replied his neighbor. “Neither do I,” said By Tom McNamara ^ Eaglebeak Spruder Is Almost Too Popular Registered United States Patent Office (jff AuiA V WitH PLA'i in’ hookey fro^ ya” fo^BOME \.e‘>4qM TELL fOA TO TELL PA THAT TOO POURED j, SKINN'i SHAME R’S SlSTER/S 6oT HIM!. SISTER'S gold fishes into the 'PfiklOGRAPH" HORH SEEIF^T gonna be a 1 HOLDOOTER- iu STICK HERE AND f~~ACrVTy TTTTZ PIPE OFF ( I ^ the game ; / 6006LY DEPARTMENT SHANtRS EAST ORAUJING. lessons NO. 4- HE'LL X HAFTER VAMOOSE P16 i hi BARREL. GmAuyei. to U/HY flWrYOOUEllER TELL OWE RE A P/M (S GOING ?- BECAUSE iT& -HEADED ONE WAY AND pointed Anotheir- OMERq-OMER’., order! dUutej LILLIAk) lEFPLER. EIGHTH STREET- u. 5, a. mtfr kind op a CRIME DO A SLEEP/AIG &0Y REPRESENT, How ? AlJJUJER. TD-MUftROUJ 5 PAPER! THE MATTER LAhTH HEY CUT OUT THAT RACKET YQUR£ BUSTIN’ UP BUSINESS (SAUJAN NCiUA PRACTISE LOUDER' , TBE N)AR\JE10DS 6A6LEBEAK SPRUDER DEMONSTRATES HIS POPULARITY ID iTh TH£ FAME PUSTlMG UP JESTER DATS GAME ’BEFORE IT STARTED MANAGER Flynn is FURlOU S 1 '(OUSE FANS?-COM* BACK HERE. TW Game starts IN -.tA SECOND’ J Oh, It’s Great To Be Married ! By George McManus Copyright. 1913. International Newra Service. A SENTLEMAn I ^>1 T he NAME OF k saw' just phoned HE IDE R'CHT QYEE. AND JOIN YOU! , OH HUOBy - ''USS JONEE, IS yeachinc ME TO turkey trot- ANO l VANT you TO DANCE TO ! , ■ I co Me on vfiTB ; US ANO HAq E j Dinner a no > see some oood TURKEt TROTS TURKET YROT- eh : my VORD 1 i ; i just Think, ^ DF ME u f Ay t n< HONE TO SE E Such roguish 5*nC!»k. oh:the i Banana FEEU SMP’I