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Anecdotes by Famous People By Herriman The Dingbat Family The Old Man Learns Something New Copyright, 1911, IttUrnaUu-c*] News Itarrlr# Thus Do Vou Lcarm That Aaj ' U/vriPe. Thaj- Vou 'WAV Cearw The. Bettep. am>\. WORE, iA«T/W<aCY W CEtESTiAC HOPE, It vwoolp Be. uieil That Yous—-— Stast& of 7Hls FROT /HAUIM& /MUCH Yb\ JiEAHAJ, "MV OUMT I A«> Alo feARbEA) OF EDEATTo L05B. \JlL TA6TB- IT - Ws But Ye TppMy -wy mraatS S>Aua\ Vuat f ^hocx, 4A0y I Au EVtft. EEADV" 7 F?ft. A fc\T OF /AJFO v Be T FROM A FNUlT OR BE >T FiQom At yVESETABCE r/ PEKSIAJ-MOA) ' IS A SAlARE Aa;o A L. ■" —jr-^ Delusi oaj, Aa/C> A FRoit \ UERY DECEITFUL /AO ITi 5 Jtmhe \ HABITS, A TW/AJ& O ) u/e 5H0UUJ Au- Be-3 N O one had a greater fund of short stories at her disposal than the late Lady Dorothy Nevlll, and one In particular that she used 1 to relate was of a very good- natured lady who was always helping a relative of hers who was very ex travagant. Having one summer lent this feather-brained creature a con siderable sum of money, what was her surprise at the end of the season to be applied to again In order that what were described as some pressing debts might be settled. “I am very sorry," said the kind-hearted lady, •but I can't possibly help you again Just now. In order to lend you that money some time ago I was forced to go without a motor this season." "Dear me,” was the reply, "if I had that I should have been Vot TdotiHT Mt A &REAT l ESSOV _C AKTM FT f- BUT A LEMOAI A rPtXT CFTEiFuav Iovjly But DelljOdouscv,^ PCTt ATI A l- - S© -fo DAT | NAVE A niurr‘FRo/(i which i nope. youj Wl/L /CAPAJ AWCH —) 1 only known delighted to have lent you mine.” A Lawyer’s Story. Mr. James T. Brady, a New Tork lawyer, tells this amusing story. When he first opened an office in New York he took a basement room which had been previously occupied by a cobbler. He was somewhat an noyed by the previous occupant's call- , ers, and irritated by the fact that he had few of his own. One day an Irishman entered. “The cobbler's gone, i 1 see,” he said. "I should think he had,” tartly responded Brady. "And what do you sell?” said the visitor, looking at the solitary table and a | few law books "Blockheads," re sponded Brady. “Begorra,” said the Irishman, "ye must be doing a mighty fine business, ye ain't got but on# teT»J ieiAlt ' PPi/MORDial “SURE, itlOAJ CVS. I6AJAT2 Mwet -moa/ev \5AV You 2 ( VNou) Motiey XlT^HIAJK I&AIAT2' OB ^ , The Boueva I Am ifAK/uo i\) Iooxuoa Ar ~Tktbj~-' UtowoeEpyus Amd IT A 6ATAT Pai/OTeP. ShoulS' fTHE. Ofcl61MAC HEfeB i BEFORE Me., Krs- J V AJcThiajs- "The /a t^Gost t J Mt. BlT 1 STill v Am Ar A Loss') ) At. To Hou ( 7\ThaT H.WI5I(HBL XYou ——' >?AlWT LfcWCiSCAPBS < \moolo Some Rick MM AJoT \<Stvt Mim At least c~-—d A barrel V OF Bricks VlJuick !! EEAoT(»V(- S LfcAJtiSCAPR By Cliff Sterrett Ma Is an Ardent Recruit Copyright, 1913, latcroattooa) New* Br ncm. DO vfoo MEAW 'ToStawd'Tmere /4U’TELL Me VER WiLLIH 1 To 1$e Classed with The DO VoO MEAw'Io'Tti.L ME '>bu OOMT VJM4WT a V/OICE TWE 6'ovepwmewT? ARE VOU WU-LIW6 To BE. CLASSED with ''THE IDIOTS wo FELONS I DMWT YOU'TO WEAR OHt OP THESE 'W07eS For wdmew But roMS, ma Ev/ERYBodYS Doiw' it! r J DoStXJ BELIEVE IV VOTES FOR VSt/OMEM, DELI CM T TAME rr/}WAY r?lly ivt Gor TROUBLE ■EMOU6H . HCKU] Tee! Hte-' 1 Should \S60f?RY ABOUT THE VOTE .»J >15iAMED THE VERY (PEAR OF ^LlCH A I LcwUftS ah' BUNS?) said. “Listen." And he read: “Wire with no outside outside. Put inside wire outside and outside inside. Need more outside for inside.” He Knew. It was a party of visitors seeing the sights in Pittsburg that final,, entered the conservatory presented to the city by Mr. Phipps. The curator while showing them around was called away on business and left'the visitors in charge of one of the clerks. a beautiful statue They came to which was admired immensely. It was of translucent marble. He point ed out the excellencies of the statue, told the name of the sculptor, and ! showed it from every viewpoint. One asked: “Alabaster, isn’t it?” “No,” he ; said, “Venus.” A Club Yarn. The following good story was told ! not long ago at one of the Atlanta ! clubs: One or two young officers were dining together at a restaurant j one night and the conversation be- i came a discussion on lies and lying generally, and finally there was a warm debate as to who was the big gest liar known to them. An old gen- i tleman sitting at a table near wa» unable to avoid overhearing the dis cussion, and after a few minutes he rose and came over to their table. “I have Just heard you decide, gentle men,'' he said gravely, “that Lieuten ant Arthur le the biggest liar I am his fa- ||i By Tom McNamara ^ Eaglebeak Spruder Is Almost Too Popular Reiriatered I'nited State* Patent Offlc* serAwAv ui'ifw TELL TO mi PA THAt YOii POURED l . _ e. _ „ .. —* . — ' &LW' A'65*n fW ToY&ons 4 l?s^h SKINM'I S HAMER'S 1 | AIN'T GONNA PLAT NO IM GONNA BE A HOIDOOTER' ILL STICK HERE AND f Af” . TY T-Tr PlPE OFF | ^ w game: / SISTER'S gold fishes into THE 'POHO GRAPH' HORN, SCE iF'pqT I DON’T? < 6006LY DEPARTMENT shaker's oIauwng lessons NO. 4- HE'LL \ HAFTEFt jamoose: P16 ifJ barrel Gmuet to m CM'T'iOO MEUER tell OWE RE AP/M IS GOING ?- BECAUSE lTis headed owe wat and POINTED AWOTHER- order'.,or»£r! you have ever met. ther.” After a few seconds' embarrassed silence one of the young: officers be gan to stammer apologies, but the old man waved them aside. "No, no.” he said, “don't apologize; it’s quite unnecessary. I was only going to say that if you regard my son Ar thur* as the biggest liar you have ever met you can not possibly have n^et my other son, Richard.” The Editor’s Story. A certain editor is credited with having related this story HEY teHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ) ' f-COMft I Het Cut out that racket VOURE BUSTIN' up bos/wess £AU)AN MCiUU. PRACTICE LOUDER 1 . , TbB N)AR\JELODS EA6LEB6AK 5PRDDER. DEMONSTRATES HLS POPULARITY W iTh T^E PAMS 'by BusTimg up 'YESTERDAYS GA«E ’BEFORE IT STARTED MANAGER Flywm is FDRlOU S i '(OUSE FANS BACK HERE. T>* 6AM£ starts IN SECOND’ order: djOdAVs FRZJfd 0 uilliaO LEFaeit EIGHTH STREET- u. S.A, MAt KlNID QF A CRIME DO a SiEEPlHto EOT REPRESEA/T.HOH ? AlJSUIER /lJ 'TO hJDItRouJ 5 PAPER) He once ordered a story of a certain length and discovered the novelist had writ ten several hundred words too many. In order to make the story fit the space at his disposal the last few paragraphs were condensed into a single sentence. This is the way it read: “Von Berken took a small glass of whisky, his hat, his departure, no notice of his pursuers, a revolver out of his pocket, and finally his life.** Mr. Barrie’s Beet. It is said of Mr. J. M. Barrie that he is rather shy and retiring in man ner and one of the “most enjoyable social functions" he ever attended was. it is said, a dinner in which he turned to his neighbor and asked, “Po you converse?" “No, I don’t," replied his neighbor. “Neither do I,” said Mr. Barrie, comfortably. Not To Be Believed. Mr. “Johnnie” Schofield, the come dian, relates an amusing story. A certain doctor had a patient. One day he came to the doctor in great trou ble. During the night, he said, he had accidentally swallowed a mouse. The doctor told him to get a cat and some fried cheese and to He on his back with his mouth open and the cheese on his nose. “Then,” said the doctor, “when the mouse smells the cheese he will come up for it, and the cat will then be able to catch it.’.' 1 The man thanked him and went home. But the next day he was back again in worse trouble than ever. “Well, did you do as I told you?" asked the doctor. “Yes,” said the man, “but Oh, It’s Great To Be Married ! By George McManus Copyright, 1918. lnt*rn*Uon*l New* Service. A GENTLE bV\M I Ci'i the name of ^ SAM JUST PvioNED HE e>E RKIHT OVER AMD JOIN \0U ^ OH HUBQt - P,rs ^> JONES fb TEACHING me to TLRkej TRor- ANO I WANT YOU TO DANCE —, TO J , - CO Me or* teiTvt Ub /**> HAVE CkNNER ANC E*E NONE C.OOO Turkey t»ot-s TUPkET 7R0T- EH : nn lord ! i! JUST Tv*™* Or rip i_C*v\n<. home to ->ES Vah PdOLisw CANONS’ ' CON1E ON- A <jOOD fellow for once: tut-tut ; NOT me - tnate> too foolish To EVEN ^HlNJT of I oh : the e*,NAroc peel sup