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■ m FftOM the JolLY Sum CO. Told me To come in here and <tEt a COAT AT WHOLESALE PRICE ^ IM FROM THE JOLLY SUM BEAM Co SAM ToLD ME I COULD QET A i.COAT AT WHOLE SALE PRICE J lM FROM T8F JOLtf SUNBEAM CO, 5AM Told ME I Could qET A COAT AT WHOLE SALE PRICE IM from the Jolly sunbeam co. SAM SAT5 I 5H0ULD QET A COAT HERE L AT WHOLE SALE PRICE J hlOThlHQ DOINq; '''HOLY SMokEPn ALL RIQHT qo OUT SIDE AND PICKOHE . OUT ' Boy: Don: let any MORE OF THOSE Women in HERE To day; j ruqoToHi5 Home, ftf I'M QOINQ To FIND OUT Ml WHArTHlS MEAN5 j . I KNOPF & CO I HAVE A ^ LETTER FROM 5AM! r SORR.Y lady, Sam QAVE ALL THE COATS AWAY j WHERE IS 5AM ? TfTAS BUT HE'S ASLEEP f I Don't know '' Boss, he doesn't ANSWER His TELEPHONE . THIS Most be the Place £>am said IT was no, £43 . >* r. ' SMILES! Henry Was Useful. Henry," said hi? father-in-law. ft* he called his daughter's spouse Into the flbrery sad locked the door, "you have lived with me now for over two years." "Yes, father.” "In all that time I haven’t asked .'ou a penny for hoard.” No. sir"—wondering!} "In all your little family quarrels I have always taken yonr part «nd decided in your favon" "Always, sir.” "1 have even paid some nf your bills." "A good many, father.” "And In every way helped you to get along." "You have been very kind, sir." "f have tried to be. my boy, and I hope you appreciate it.” "I do, sir ' “Then the small favor I am about lo ask of you will no doubt be granted?” “Most certainly, sir " "Thanks. When 1 want you to tell your mother-in-law that these tickets for the French’ dance which she picked up in my room this morning must have accidentally fallen out of your pocket, and we’ll call it square!” Then Someone Prayed. A number of clergymen were dis- ruwring the character of a venerable woman whom they esteemed to be wise in her generation, but a young: man who was present .said it struck him that she showed great lack of wisdom in one respect. ‘What is that, pray?” inquired an elderly gentleman. •Why," said the young man. "she always puts out her tubs to catch soft water when it is raining hard." And silence fell upon the assem bly. No Chance to Win. "I couldn’t get out of marrying her," Henpeck explained. “When she proposed she said. ‘Will you marry me? Have you any objec tion?' You see, no matter whether I said 'Yes' or 'No.' she had me." "Why didn't you just keep silent then?" inquired his friend. "That's what I did. and she sat.!. Silence gives consent,' and that ended it.” Not Necessarily’ One of the Sonfls in “PANAMANIA," the Annual Show of the Harvard Has.y Pudding Club. • njrhi. iui:;. by tt*« Star Oo—peer Cirpat Britain Might* R«*oer*M. T SE ihe victim of an argument. And ev’ry time 1 try i o prove my theory lo somebody 1 get five fingers in the eye. 1 was sweepin’ here the other day. When a gemman come by me, I swop him wif a broom like tins. And be turned round angrily. That fellow got real mad at me. Punch’d me in the beak! Then I just did chastise that man. The dog-gone little sneak. Should I have stood right up to him And turned the other cheek? Not necessarily. I was in a tight place jes’ las' week. But really ‘twan't ma fault; You can’t considah me respons ble Cause I’d lapped up so much malt. I was standin' outside the boozrry When I had had ma fill— An’ a sporty datne walked by an’ dropped A twenty aollah bill. I put ma foot down on that bill As quickly as 1 might. I couldn't hardly wait to see That gal get out of sight. Now, should I have followed her to do The thing you all think right? Not necessarily. Ma wife, she IS a deep brunette, (jc.-' bear that fact in mind. Because ’twill be important in The verdict ”cu must find) ; I went ta see a little gai, \Y !?h i lighter hade of hair. And when wife .found one on ma coat. She had me then fo’ fair. She >iked me point-blank to explain Jr-’ where I'd he“n lha! night. I hemmed an' hawed an’ again, Bui kep’ ma mouth shut tight. Now. mould I by le'lin' he have risked Ma chance to health an' sight? Not necessarily. HEAR ST’S ST N DAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA. OA.. SUNDAY, MAY 4. 1913 Sam i. lie Drummer- By T. E. POWERS, the Famous Cartoonist <*>pyi1jrht. lWKL by to 8t»v Oof ivy urvmt Britain Rijchia KtNMrrcd WILD INSECTS I HAVE MET * Copyright. 1B13, by the Star < JoanpMiy. By I. M. STUNG, the Eminent Social Entomologist. The Bottle Fly. T HE botlle-fly. ladies and gentlemen, is one of our com mon insects. It might be classed with the pests. A full grown bottle fly covers a wide range, but may be found In larger numbers around cafes, buffets, bar rooms, sideboards and similar fields. It belongs to the “Souslum” family. It Is not an aquatic insect, water being something it generally avoids, although in its younger days it some times takes a little water on the side. When the bottle fly first appears it has no marks to dis tinguish it from other social flies, except, perhaps, it clings to the bottle in Infancy in a rather prophetic manner. The full-fledged bottle fly, however, Is easily distinguished by means of its bright red proboscis, mottled appearance, er ratic movements, and irregular habits. The fully developed bottle fly takes little solid food, but possesses a chronic thirst and drinks practically everything containing spirits and malt except, perhaps, perfumes and gasoline. The perfectly developed and mature bottle fly may be detected by its constant aversion to water. The average bottle fly is received in society for a con siderable period, but they are ultimately cast out because of their unsociable habits and their habit of kicking in win dows or smashing bats or chucking strange ladies under ihe chin. Some bottle flies, it has been said, are poured back in the bottle after they die. This Is a stage joke, however They seldom have such luck. The Lady Bug. IIS insect Is as varied as the feminine sex can vary, and that, of course, is the limit of variation. The genuine lady-bug, so-called because they call them selves ladles, may be found in large numbers at teas, re ceptions, parties, tours, bridge parties, etc. In fact, the lady-bug of this social variety is found almost everywhere except in her home or with her children. She is a strictly social Insect, covering a wide range of ountries. She is of the geuus called “Vanium She iq the most violent in the United States, hut more aggressive in liutope. In England the lady-bugs are fast dying out. The lady-bug. although attractive Ib really a vicious little Insect without the least mother Instinct or a soul for domestic life. Long ago, one of our best known poets wrote a most ouching lyric concerning a lady-hug who was chattering at a rose tea while her home burned up and her children were destroyed. She had not become a lady-bug early enough, which accounts for the children You will doubtless remem ber the wonderful and soul-stirring poem, my rriends, as it begins as follows "Lady-bug. lady-bug, fly away noma Britain flights Rpserml The lady-bug is a great chatterer, saying vain nothings at teas and receptions, but talking most viciously about her acquaintances behind their backs The lady-bug of ancient and proud family Is not so vicious, and vulgar, and vindic tive as the lady-bug developed from sudden riches. Lady- A blow fly never allows any other social Insect to approach him without telling him what a great ntan he (the blow fly) is, how wealthy he is, how smart n» is. what a gay dog he is. how smart his children are. how handsome bts stenog rapher is. or something like tbs' Hut a full-fledged blow fly never praises his wife or gives her any credit he busies only concerning hlrrseif Sometimes .these pests may he exterminated with t. magic sentence, such as, "Well, pay me t )nt $3(1 vou have owed me for three years." or, "Yea, 1 saw you sweeping out the office as 1.stepped in to collec; that $1 1 JO your boss owes me." or, 'EnY-opk'’ You were uevei out of Uocheco County until you came betel” bugs cause envy, jealousies and dissatisfaction in life and are a menace to our entomological social world. The Blow Fly. Y OU all have heard, ladies and gentlemen, of the blow fly. There are both male and female blow flies, but doubt less the male species exceed. They are common everywhere. Frequently they are more than common, being plentiful. They belong to that social Insect family, the ‘ Swelled- headinm." The blow fly is not really a dangerous social msect; he Is a hit of a pest and quite bothersome. During working hours he is not so bad,’but during social hours he’s the limit. One blow fly has been known to innoculate an entire club room with ennui for an hour. This popular (with himself) social insect can always be spotted by a loud buzzing sound. Frequently his buzzing gets to be something like this: "My-auto-is-the-bestzzzzzzz." “The-hoss-snid 1 wvs-the-sniartesr-msn-in the-oflicezzzzzzzz." ' I - can drlnk-more-and-keep-soberei'than any-o her man-ln- Amerieazzzzzzzzzz" "Shedold-everyone-I-was-a-iierfect-Adonis;, ?/.**»!" This buzzing sound varies to almost every shade of topic known to conversation. JUST FOR FUN Copyright. :W1H, i»y Ui# Htar Company REMINISCENT PARROT. A GENTLE and pious old tailor Bought a parrot once owned by a aal'or. When the dominie called He was really appalled, And the tailor grew paler and p^ler. WITH SITTING. rpKAt’HER -John, give me a sentence containing the word “notwithstanding." John “The man's trousers were worn out, not with standing.” OH, MERSEY! T HERE was cnee a young fellow named Kersey, Who went for a walk In New Jersey, But he never returned. And they afterward learned That mosquitoes like meat in New Jersey. ODE BY A CONFESSED PESSIMIST S OME folks have cattle on a hundred hills. And some folks don t. Some folks start fires with hundred dollar bills. And some folks don t. Prospentee its's plain to see is very much on hand—i.e. Some folks have all. they want—but ME— I don't. SHORT STCfRY WITH HAPPY ENDING. M ISER JONES climbed into bed “To-morrow.” he chuckled, “I’ll turn Widder Smith out of her cottage, and serve eviction papers on Henry Johnson, and hev that Hansom boy sent to the Reformatory for stealing my apples, and git Law yer Hicks to draw up a will cutting off my daughter with ten cents and leaving the rest of the money to the Society for Killing Stray Cats. Ever since I took to that mushroom diet I been saving an awful lot ou my eating expenses, though, of course, 1 suppose 1 don’t gather all they Is on the place. But I wouldn't throw away ray money buying a mushroom book. Them mushrooms I et to-night tasted awful funny, but 1 guess K I just go to sleep Ml be reeling all right to-morrow." HENRIETTA'S OFFENSE. A TIFFIN, OHIO, man once discovered in ambush s sad faced little girl with a fistful of mud. She was standing in a sheltered corner of a grocery store and was from t time peering around down the street. W ho are you ua.Uu s lor, iilt.e girl?' asked the man. «rvmt Rritsin tUshU R«ssr»e(l "Henrietta.” “What's Henrietta done? asked the man, with a significant glance at the mud in the child s hand. “Nothin' Don’t you know she 1 * Queoo of the May?” A' NOSE BETTER NOW. N amateur dramatic club put ou the play of "Caste.” In the laet act old man Bokles Is sup posed to be a hopeless drunkard, with a big red note. This chap, not having a papier-mache bom. built oaa up of cotton and spirit gum. Spirit gum Is made of ether. When old Eckles went to light his pipe he also lighted bis nose. “Oh, doctor!" AT BAY—OVER THE BAY. XJE was returning from an evening at the Authors' and Actor*' Club. The hour was late and, pos sibly because of weariness, his legs seemed some what unsteady. With difficulty he made his way Inside and had Just succeeded in crowding his hat under the sofa and hanging his shoes upon the halltree, when a voice from above called, "Arthur!” "Yesh, m'dear!” “Are you not ashamed to come home in this con dition?” "Wbish condlshon?” “You know well enough. You are Intoxicated " ' Thatsh a libel, woman Never more eober-ber-ber in m’ life.” “Arthur, gay chrysanthemum.”' (Prolonged pause.) "M'dear—I’m drunk.” NO USE FOR QUININE. gOWBO—What are yoti doing for your ooW 8oeo—Taking the open-air treatment, lots of oxygen during the day. Howto—What do you breathe at night? Boao—Ntghtrogeo. Breathing THESE FUNNY WORLDS. T HIS is an aggravating world, 'Tit neither sound nor nioo; It’s either hot as—hot can fee— Or else rt’t cold si ice. And should we try another one. No more in peace we’d dwell; ’T would either be as cold as ice. Or else as hot as—hot can be. COUNT8 HIM OUT. NY father knowa that It's ths Lit tie k count.