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4 CL TIEARST’8 SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, OA., SUNDAY, MAY The v ' ‘i HCfPliP y fifi _ After Tartar Sauce A Story of the Red-Blooded Side of the Department of Agriculture By Wellington Smack. M. L. R. F EW Americans know of the great research work done In wild parts of the world by agents of the Department of Agrloulture. How few know how Tartar aauce was brought to the United States! James Macjlnk was one of the unknown agents who went to Wales, and after almost incred ible hardships brought back the pair of Welsh rabbits from which evary Welsh rabbit In this coun try Is descended. MacJInk had to learn the Welsh language and pass himsslf off as Lloyd Llong- bow of Llangollen, a native of Wales who had Hived a llong time In Llexlr.gton, beforo they would Met him have one of the precious rodents. Another daring worker for the department was David Doughboy. n *. 3.W The Fight in the Air Fiction ; That Tingles Around the Ripsnorters’ Campfire. T IE spread of the Legion of nipsnorters has been amaz- It la to Doughboy's daring that America owos canary sertl. Doughboy stole a fast torpedo boat from the Navy Department, landed In the Canary Islands at night, loaded up with the sord from which they grow canarie* and was bock ,in the United States before any one knew he had gone. But the atofy of the Tartar sauce is even more thrilling. Ac most people know. Tartary Is the moet savage country In the world, but Wiilic O'HIdks cared naught for that. His mleclon was to bring Tartar sauce baok to the United States, and he did it. Twice he was shot, four times he was hanged and once he was drowned, but he never gave up the quest. 80 remember the name of Willie O’Hioks in future when you d,ally with steak and Tartar sauce. Ry Whyte C. Gull, M. L. R. P AUL OPAN was a daring aviator, but even his iron norve failed him when a great golden eagle sank its claws into his neck as he whizzed over the Rocky Mountains. How to get rid of the aerial monster? The easiest way appeared to be by falling suddenly the 2,COO feet. If the eagle did not relax its hold and fly away It would be killed amid the ruins of the ma chine. Of course, Oban would be killed, too, but he never bothered much about his own fate. He had another plan. Throwing on full speed, ho drove his 'plane so rapidly through the air that the intense hent engendered by the friction set fire to the bird s feathers and the smoke quickly suffocated it. ('Thla incident oreune.rl, but the bird iron a su tti!'>>c, not an int/li'. Henee ice label il “fic tion" A'-rurary above rr:l biooa. even.—Kd.) Is your blood red? Read the Red Corpuscle, it’s made or you. Is your blood pale and thin? Read the Red Cor puscle until your heart sends red blood boiling through your Already the famous button of the organization may be seen stuck with walrus fat to the fur coat of an Eskimo Ripsnorter who io swimming through the lee floes in pursuit of a wounded bull whale. The traveller In the dense Jun gles of Central Africa may see the emblematic rhinoceros upon the breast of a chief engaged In landing a five-ton hippopotamus with a trout rod. The passer-by may see it worn by a colonel at Oyster Bay as he drives a plough with one hand and writes an essay on the Dlk- Dik with the other. On the wide reaches of the Amazon the diver who is about to cleave the mucfdy water to tackle, single-handed, the mighty boa constrictor, may have the M. L. R. button hung around his neck with a string of mahogany fibre. Indeed there is no epot on the globe where one may not find a wearer of the button. The daring pathfinder in Brooklyn, the wan dering adventurer in the Arabian desert, the rash intruder into the fastnesses of Oshkosh—all are Ripsnorters. Among the latest names to be added to the list are: King Alfonso of Spain. George Bernard Shaw. . Vive la Rlpsnort! M.L.R. MEN LOOKING FOR FUN |Vfl L. R. BUTTON, NO. 8761 — Thirty years old. Sailor in whalers since 1831. Harpoons whales single-handed. Can shake dice skilfully. Also good at cook ing flapjacks. Like to head pros pecting party In Arizona. M. L. R. BUTTON, NO. 934.— Professional rhinoceros huntsr in Nigeria until chased out by Colonial Government for burn ing a native village to got light to read “Punch” by. Any job combining gold and goro. M. L. R. BUTTON NO. 27—Ten years a tango tea dancer and still alive, showing strong consti tution. Would like tight work as coal shoveller or iron worker. M. L. R. BUTTON, NO. 639— Crossed the Amazon on foot twice and swam thrice across the Sahara. What jobs have you? New Fabl 0S m lailg-By George Ade JoSt foF FllH as, The Dream That Came Out with Murh In UnoL Published by Permission of Cosmopolitan Magazine. (Copyrighted by the Interna..onal Magazine Co) O NCE there was a provincial Tradesman who gave his Yokemate a Christmas Present. It was a kind of Dingus formerly exhibited on the What-Not tn almost every polite Home. By peering through at the twin Photographs and working It like a Slide Trombone, one could get rav ishing glimpses of Trafalgar Square, Lake Conic, and the Birthplace of Bobby Burns. Nearly every evening the Tradesman would back up to the Student Lamp and put in a delirious half hour with the Views. While gazing up the Rue de Rlvoll or across the rice-paddles at the snowy cap of Fuji, his Tlloo l would become het by the old boyhood Desire to rail across the Blue to Foreign Parts. Those- who saw him mowing the Lawn little suspected that he was being Inwardly eaten hy the Wander lust. The Tradesman. Edwin by name, and his Managing Director, Selen.i, formed the magic-lantern Habit away back in the days of Stoddard They never missed a chnm-e to take in Burton Holmes. Sitting in the dark ness, they would hold hands and slm- ply eat those Colored Slides Selena belonged to n Club that was trying to get a side-hold on the Art ard Architecture of the Old World. She had a smouldering Ambition io ride a Camel In the Orient and then come home and put it all over a cer tain proud Hen who had spent six weeks in Europe. She had to wait patiently until Edwin waa threatened with a ner vous Break-Down. At last the Hap py Day arrived when the Specialist told him he must make his choice between a long Sea Voyage and a slow ride to the Family Lot A few days later they were curled up in a Cabin de Luxe about the size of a Telephone Booth, wait ing for the Ocean Greyhound to recover from an at tack of Hydrophobia. When they tottered down the Gang-Plank, alter six days on the playful North Atlantic, their only Comfort was derived from the knowledge that, a. Boon as they had rested up, they could write home and quote the Second Officer as saying it was the roughest Passage he had ever Knowu. After spending a few days lu London, trying to get warm, they moved on to Paris, which they re membered long afterward on account of Napoleon's Tomb and-the price of Strawberries. Selena pulled her tail-grass French on a Hark man, but there was nothing doing He had taken it from a different Teacher. So they employed a Guide who knew all the Shops. If Selena happened to admire a Trinket or some outre Confection with Lace slathered on it, a perfumed Apache in a Frock Coat would take Edwin Into a side room, give hifii the sleeve across thi Wind-Pipe, and bite a piece out of his Letter of Credit. Edwin did a little quick work with the Pencil and said they could either hurry on or else hie back to the Home Town ami begin Life all over again. Three weeks after saying good-by to Griddle Cakes they were in Naples, which they had seen pic tured on so many Calendars. Once In a while they would venture from the Hotel to run foot-races with the yelping Lazzaroni or try to look at Yesuve without paying seven or eight members of the Camorra for the Privilege. After being chased back into the Hotel, they would sit down and address Post-Cards by the Hour, telling how much they were enjoying their stay in Napoli, home of Song and Laughter. Next we see them in Egypt, still addressing Post- Cards, and offering anything within reason for a good Cup of Coffee. Not that they would own up to boing home-sick. No, indeed! They kept writing back that they enjoyed every minute of their sail up the Nile, and Edwin was holding up wonderfully, for an Invalid. Not that they would own up to being Home-Sick. No, indeed! They kept writing back that they en joyed every Minute spent among the Cemeteries and Ruins, or sailing up the Nile, und Edwin was holding up wonderfully, for an Invalid. Only, when either of them spoke of the Children, or Corned-Beef Hash, or the Canary, a long Siieuce would ensue, and then the Nervous Wreck would cheer her by computing that they would be lu God's Country within four months, if they escaped Ship wreck, Sunstroke, and Bubonic Plague. ’ While parboiling themselves down the Red Sea It began to soak In on them that, east of Suez, the Yank lias about as much standing as the Ten Com mandments. The Congressman at homo had assured them, on numerous occasions, that Columbia was the Jim or the Ocean and the most upholstered portion of the entire Foot-Stool. Consequently, il was somewhat disconcerting to meet British Subjects who never had heard of Quin cy, Illinois, and who moved their Deck Chairs every lime they were given a chance to hear about it. Genera! Grouch Says™ Itn", by the Star CYnupany. Great Britain Kip Reeer.t«J T HERE'8 more danger of getting stung by a busybody than by a busy bee. Of course matches are made in heaven; they're not needed In the other place. The same man who wouldn't hunt more than three minutes for a screwdriver with w hich to put on a screen door will tear around two hours hunting for a corkscrew. We begin to do right about the time we get ton old to do wrong, but we don't begin to think right until they call In the lawyer and the minister. Woman Is the natural "rib'' roast. H STerp one coglfl do as he pleased ihi A ..-uid he the craziest planet in the solar system. Men run quicker to aid a fallen horse than a 'alien man because they know It isn't the horse's fault Poverty isn't the only thing coining in at the door that makes love fly out the window. Some men would have U> give an excuse if they gol home ahead of time. Remember that every peach has a stony heart If all wn had to cover us was our religion most of us wonld have to stay in the water. Did yen e,e- : flee tha- 93 l-r rent of the pauenu, ia Urn icsi uuxo t-stahUsuiqcnvs are matvied? They would arrive in a New Town, fly to tho Ho tel, unpack, go out and buy their colored Post-Cards, come back to the Dump (usually called the Grand Hotel Victoria), address Cards to all the Names on the list, then pack up, pay the Overcharges, and ride to the Railw ay 3tin ion, accompanied by a small regi ment of Bashi-Bazouks who were looking for Theirs. Selena, was still buying Souvenirs, but doing it mechanically, as if in a Trance. , They had been stung with so many Oriental Pho neys and stuck up so often that they had gone Yellow and lost their Nerve. When they saw an outstretched Mitt, they came across without a Whimper. Often, while riding in the dusty Cattle Cars and looking out at the parched Plains, they would think of the shaded Front Porch, only five minutes from Bar clay’s Drug Store, where they sold the Ice Cream Soda. Moaning feebly, they would return to the Italicized Guide Book. Each day they would purchase a Newspaper about the size of a Bed-Spread and search eagerly for American News. Once in a while they would learn that Congress had met or another Colored Per son had been burned at the* Stake. It cheered them Immensely to know that the Land of the Free was still wiggling. At Rangoon they met a locoed Countryman head ed in the opposite direction. He was a hard-faced Customer who was. lighting 'the Climate with Gin nnd Bitters, but they fell upon him and wanted to Kiss him when they learned that he had once met Helena's Uncle at Colorado Springs. The. told him how to save time in getting across ndla, and he gave them a list of Places in China and Japan that might be dodged to advantage. Their principal Occupation, when not setting | down Expressions of Delight on the Post-Cards, was to study Time-Tables and cable ahead for Reserva tions. The Invalid's one desire was to get home and lake a regular Bath before being laid out. Hong Kong pleased them exceedingly because ihey learned, by consulting Mr. Mercator's Projec tion, that they were on the Home Stretch and, witji Luck in their favor, might live to see another Piece of Pie. As soon as they were on the Pacific and headed for a refined Vaudeville Show, they began to recover the brave Spirit of Travel and blow about what they had seen. Tho Towns and Temples and Tombs and Treas ures of Art were all jumbled together, but by dally reference to Baedeker and Murray, they were en abled to find out where they had been and what they had seen with their own Eyes and how it im pressed them, at the time. Before touching at Honolulu they were real en thusiastic about India. They advised tho awe stricken Listener who had not been all the way around to be sure and take in Penang and Johore, and. if necessary, they would give him Letters of Introduction.. They said it had been a wonderful Experience. Yes, indeed. And broadening; Very. Then Edwin would wander to the front end of the Ship and want to climb out on the Bowsprit so as to be .in Frisco ahead of anybody else He convalesced rapidly as they approached the Golden Gate, for he knew that in a few days he could unpack for good nnd gallop down to the office and not have to worry about Travelling. Two hours after landing, Edwin saw a Porter- House Steak and burst into tears. They sped eastward by the first Train, still busy with tile little Red Bo6ks, for they knew they would have, to answer a lot of Questions. "Shall we ov.n up and tell them the Awful . Truth?" asked Selena. "Not on your Esoteric Buddhism," replied Edwin. “We never will be rewarded for our sufferings unless we convince the Neighbors that we had a run for our Money. It was a troubled Nightmare, in Spots, but when I lecture in the Church Parlor I am going lo burn Joss Sticks and pull every variety of Bunk trade famous by Sir Edwin Arnold and Lafcadlo Hearn.” On the following Tuesday. Selena appeared at the Club with her Mandarin Coat and the long Hindoo Ear-Rings. She had them frozen in their Chairs. MORAL: Pc it f - aru to Take, there is ha pkR u like .* Ja urn Louie. Oopvrhgit, 1013. by th* Star Cwnpany. ereat Britain Wehu Heserred. “Look Out for the Paint!” S HE—In Turkey a man never sees the face of his wife until after they are married. He—Great Scott! Do they use paint and pow der over there, too! old library, in old Germany, a forbidden book, a little lad who looked, and sighed, and hoped. For to him it was a book of wonder and white delight. Hi* soul thrilled to the glory that it conjured up. It was a book of Music. One night the moonlight streamed through his room and it tempted him. Me crept down stair?, and in the secret of the night took down the book. Its gravc’i melodies stood out before him in a mist of sound. Night after moonlight night he came thus, bending, poring over it, copying its figured radiances that were immortal sound. And then one night his task was done. For six month* he had worked, and he stood there riven by a triumph poignant as pain. The beauty of the book was his. He had wrung from it the secret of its importal message. Years afterwards that boy was great—and a rumor stirred the world regarding him. Men whispered bis name. Greet women prayed and wept, prayed and waited till the final day. Then the stolen moonlight hours laid their fingers upon him. Sebastian Bach was blind. * + * * * * Have you a child who hums es he plays, who has the beginnings of musical talent—who might have even genius? How can you know, till you’ve found out by giving Kim a chance with a few music lessons and a good piano? Beware of the kind of pianos that are “ good enough to practise on. They deprave the musical taste. They have spoilt thousands of career*. The ear, or rather the delicate brain cells that connect with it, got bad *‘cound habits, * ’ like a boy who “ tal ks tough, ” or an Engl ish coc kneywith his misplaced “h.” Each is the victim of sound environment. Their sound judgments have been ruined, and they can’t come back • The HALLET & DAVIS PIANO develops a true musical taste through true sound—the one standard cf the beautiful in music. If not tried too late, it can save the musical ear-—perhaps a career. Tire great Franz Liszt end Johann Strauss recommended the Hallet & Davis Piano. Pope Pius X honored it with a Papal medal. Give your boy a chance. And let us show you hem, and how you can afford it too. That's cur business and we like it. We’ll call on you if you like it. Anyhow, fill out the attached coupon and send for catalog. Mail the coupon today—so you won't put it off and forget. T “Going Down!” HERE was a young maid of sixteen. Who took three baths a day to keep clean; She had washed quite away, When the drain pipe one day Gulped her down. She was nevet more seen! HALLET & DAVIS PIANO (Established iSjq) 50 N. Pryor St., Atlanta. coupon co. Send me full information about Name _ the Hallet & Davis Piano, end your Easy Buying Plan. Address Henry’s Value. J ATE yesterday afternoon Hen- I *“ 1 fy T. Oatman sought Judge | Spinx for an injunction restrain- f ing the chickens at home. Ever since last Tuesday Henry's chick ens have adopted toward Henry an exclusive attitude that amounts to the “cut direct.” They sa y they are the real aristocracy on the farm because they are worth eleven and a half cents a pound while Henry wouldn’t fetch ten. The neighbors are inclined to side with the chickens. N-9 nrart-;f'V..nrrgrTr- "'frrr. .tjffTggg Bound to Disagree. B ROWNE—I saw a funny thing in court to-day. The first panel drawn consisted of twelve Hebrews. Greene—Gee; That was sure some Jewry. “H A Failure. OW can I induce a suffragette to believe that she doesn’t want to vote?" “Marry her.” “I’ye been married to her ten years.” “Then divorce her and give some one else a chance." The Snique. A MAN with a vision oblique By accident jostles a Grique; But each time that he tries To explain his crossed eyes The Orique takes a crack at his biquel The Office Girl Who Snickered Out Loud. O H, a rag and a bone and a hank of hair, and a shag haired man with a 'phone stood there. Oh. a wag in the room had a pin on the chair and the man so fat with the 'phone sat square on the seat but flopped and be gan to swear. And the rag and the bone and the'hank of hair, chewed her gum. chewed the rag, and she giggled for fair. So the mutt with the fat shook her then and there, to the rag and the bone and the hank's despair. So she’s single yet, and a quiet wench is the wife of the fat man on the bench. Now she who laughs last laughs the best, but to he-haw wrongly proves no jest; so grin with gusto when you can, but best at a joke than at some man. It s a dum long lane that's got no turn, and a book-keep girl’s got her wage to earn; and it’s no good sense to snicker at the boss, lest, maybe, a diamond ring’s her loss. So if in the office why giggle you must, buy a copy of Biff and snicker till you bust. You can read till you're tired, till you’re tickled, till you wiggle, you can sit there for hours while you laugh, cry and giggle. And a neat glad-rag with her hair in a. hank, may still win a chap with a book at the bank. A woman seldom tells a good story. She never hears the really goo^ ones. Give Yourself a Chance Are you sickly in any way? Are you below par? Then you are not living right. Yottj are not getting what might be vours. Postpone'’ ment is the price of your birthright. Life has untold blessings if you will reach out; and grasp them. Great obstacles recede before thd : onrushing enthusiasm of the man or woman who is vigorous and happy. The , world smiles when you are well. Health tinges everything with beauty. Strong words, you say—yet true. To the man or woman who will not be denied, who demands- the right of being healthy and happy, Nature—yes, and man—hold out new hope. The ebbing spark may be renewed The sluggish blood stream may be quickened. The weakened nerves ana- muscles may be brought to new life and strength.. And you wish to know what will do these things for you? Electricity., Electricity is Nature’s Greatest Health Builder When old Ben Franklin drew the spark down the silken cord, he brought, to man a wondrous power—an agent to do his bidding and to strengthen the very vitals and sinews of the man who used it. The greatest achievement of the last decade has been to bring electricity to suffering humans in a form safe, convenient and economical. Many there are to-day, healthy and happy, who ascribe their well bang to the curative, strengthening power of electricity. Be you young or old, male or female, there is new beauty, new life, new power, new happiness for you in this wonderful modern invention. The “Home” Health and Beauty Battery A few minutes each day will give woncTerful results. Constitutional headaches grow leas and finally disappear under the tonic effect of the elec tric current. Lame backs and lumbago lose their terrors Rheumatism Is relieved. Neuralgia alike, and physical weaknesses of nearly every descrip tion. Thin faces and thin arms become plump. The skin becomes soft and velvety, free from unsightly eruptions. The electric current from the Home Battery, gentle or forcible, according to your require ments, stimulates and strengthens the whole system, giving Nature the power to so perform her functions as to keep all parts healthy. p « 00 0,1 rom P l * te In ft handsome, satin-lined box, with Hafr r rite Brush. Electrode. Sponge. Massage Roller. Metal Foot Plate, connecting cord for those accessories, and Instruction Manual, giving explicit directions for all kinds of treatments. The Home Battery Is complete In itself, no outside batterle* or connec tions, nothing to get out of order, current easily regulated. We use & standard dry cell which yon can easily renew when required. For H u,ne onl y. we "1U fiive throe «rtrx drr OptUUl V1IC1 • cells—practically a year s supply—free with each bat* tery. tipou receipt of coupon printed below. you will enjoy the delightful effect of Hie electrical current, whether yon use the battery for face massaging—with the electric hair brush to correct scalp troubles and promote beautiful hair—as a general tonic treatment—or In any of the many ways described iu our Instruction Manual for specific needs Life will tile on new beantles when you feel the vital blood of health coursing strongly through your veins. Send in your order for the "Home" Battery to-day. Don’t wait a m*nute* You can't afford to delay. This Is your opportunity to renew your strength and vigor, your op portunity to become physically fit, to step out from the weakling class, and be a winner. Give yourself a elm nee. Act now Only $5.00 for the complete outfit - your passport to health. Western Merchandise & Supply Co. 326 West Madison St., Near Market St. CHICAGO' '"A*.-- ■-■pf; R ack 1£ Day ; IA A:J • - . 1; Trial Coupon This coupon, with $5.00, entitle* you to one Home Health and Beauty Bat tery, complete, (including tWe extra dry ceils free' shipped prepaid Try it ten clay?. If not entirely ratified at the end of that time, your $5.00 will be promptly refunded upon return of machine. This offer is made for • muted time only. coupon to-day. Name.