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Little Bobbie’s
Pa
By WILLIAM F. KIRK
P A took me fishing yesterday, li
was a beautiful day wen we
started out & Pa sed it was 1
Jew the kind of a day to catch a lot of
fish
Doant you think you ought to take
a guide, deer%st. sed Ma. You know’
"e are strangers to this seekshun &
you mite not be abel to find the right
places to flsh. My father used to a!-
" a . s talk a guide with him wen he
went fishing in a strange country. He
' as always afrade that he mite git
lovt.
1 hare ts no <■.. nger of von losing mo
i cat eesiv, said Pa. Doant you worry I
about that.
V know thare is no chanst to lose
v ‘».i sed Ma, bu I shud hate to lose ,
tjel Bobbie. Pleese taik a guide
Vharc is no danger around this
"ben country*, sed Pa. we doant need a
guide; cum on, Bobbie. Doj^nt fergit
to hang onto that lunch. We will
need it by nooh.
He Got Tired.
we had walked for about two
hours I began to git kind of tired &■ i
rud see that Pa was gitting tired, too.
How far Is this stream? 1 asked Pa
I doant want to walk all dav. It cant
he very much further, said Pa. The
man at the hotel toald us to keep
walking thru this patch of hard wood,
due north, til! we calm to a big pine
tree and then to go about two miles
thru a spruce patch until we cairn to
the stream. Bobbie, sed Pa, doant ,
you hear a littel trout stream purling
any where?
No, I sed, & I am lissening as hard
as I can.
Doant you hear anv kind of a i
stream purl at ail? sed Pa.
No. I sed, not any kind of a ^ream.
I aint going to walk much further,
eether.
Then Pa beegan talking to me about
one time wen he took sum fronds
along trout Ashing in upper Mishigan.
Thav all thot 1 was lost, sed Pa.
Thare was two ladies in the crowd &
thav was the bravest in the party.
The men looked awful worried, sed
Pa; thay kep telling how we was up
aggenst it. but the ladles jest kep on
lafflng and cheering thare husbands.
Thay had perfeck faith in me beekau*
T herd one of them tell the other that
I looked so self-reliant that she wud
trust me anvw r are to keep peepul from
danger. Yes, 9ed Pa. those ladies
trusted me & thare fa.ith in me was
justified. Presently we cairn to our
destination. Pa sed. the ladies sed
thay felt like hugging me.
I cud see that Pa was talking kind,
of absent-minded beekauv all the time j
he was talking he kep looking around '
in the woods &,I knew he dident;
kpow his way.
'Jest then Pa sed Bobbie, Bobbie. I
hear it, I hear it. It is the sound of 1
running water that I hear. Dident I
tell you. Bobbie?
They Hear It.
Sure enuff. 1 herd the running
water, too, so both of us began to i
walk faster toward a (Jeering. After!
..we git to the brook. Bobbie, sed Pa.'
wy> will arrange our taekel & after!
the speckled buttes.
•le.v then wo cairn out o the;
(■leering ware we had herd run- '
ning water A Pa & me neeriy fell!
•ver. We was back to the littel’hotel •
.'roni wJcli we had started out from.
We had want in a eirkel. Ma was
setting on the porch grinning at Pa. &
the ‘-ound of the running ’water was
water cuditning from a hose. The
hired man was washing the barn.
Now Ma calls Pa Isaak Walton.
Uncle’s Sporting Trophies.
Tom Brown and Jack Smith had
been schoolmates together. but. as
often happens, had drifted apart dur
ing the years that followed. Then,
uuite accidentally, they met again one
day, and somehow’ the conversation
turned to the subject of athletics.
"Let me see!” said Brown. "You
never came across my brother, did
you? He’s a fine runner, you know.
Why, only last week he won a gold
medal in a Marathon race.”
"Ah!" said Smith, raising his eye
brows in genuine admiration. Then,
a faint smile playing around his lips,
he added; "And did I ever tell you
about iny uncle?"
"Don’t think so." replied Brown.
“Well in his day, not only did he get
a gold medal for five miles, and one
for ten miles, but tw r o sets of carvers
for cycling, a silver medal for swim
ming, two cups for wrestling, to say
nothing of badges for boxing and row
ing.
"You see." Smith continued, while
, his friend sat speechless with amaze-
ni^nt, "the uncle in question kept a
pawnshop."
Her Love For Romance
A HUMOROUS STORY.
A S a 1
sat
S a little girl Albertlne alwaya
in the chair In the farthest
corner when she went to chil
dren's parties. She had a meek, pret
ty little face, abundant yellow hair
and large, appealing blue eyes that
held a shadow of apology in them for
her temerity in presuming to exist,
fehe retained the modest violet at
mosphere after she was grown up.
Other girls might blossom into dar
ing coquettes and fascinating belles,
hut Albertine always kept In the
background. Whenever people looked
>U her they Involuntarily thought of
iKce mitts and hoopskirt9 and curt
seys. They felt that Albertine should
bo put under glass.
This being the case, it was aston-
'shing that down in her secret heart
Ubertine had a fierce love of the dar
ing, the wild and gay and the ex-
iieme. When she picked out a dress
design she always chose the rankest,
most alarming atrocity. The dress
maker said. "Oh. certainly!” and then
proceeded to modify the pattern to
suit A bertine’s appearance.
She Suspected.
Things had a way of drooping on
her in old-fashioned lines. She want
ed to look frightfully smart and
somehow she never did. Secretly ahe
suspected the dressmakers, but she
never dared accuse them.
It was the same way when It came
to the young men. Let a perfectly
steady, sober youth who earned a
regular salary and was good to his
mother come her way and Albertine
raised her little nose and sniffed. Bhe
simply could not see him. She ad
mired extravagantly the sort of young
man who dashed down the street
wearing crimson silk socks and a tie
to match and the latest cry In waist
coats, and if he was followed by a
bulldog so much the better. If people
raised their eyebrows and coughed dis
creetly when his name was mentioned
it made the situation perfect.
Albertine always felt loftily then
that she was an experienced, worldly
wise person .and the eyebrow raisers
were narrow' provincials. Usually the
bulldoggy young man never pro
gressed In the acquaintance further
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*han raising hla hat and casting an
entrancing smile at her; but Albertine
was satisfied with just adoring him
from a distance.
Her family was quite alarmed when
she fell in love with Harry Jungles,
because Harry always was in debt
and worked only semi-ocoasionally
and Albertine's relatives had a great
deal of money. Harry seemed aw r ake
to this fact, for he actually called on
Albertine and talked poetry to her in
'he parlor in low, rich tones, and told
her how the world misjudged him.
Albertine went so far as to powder
her already white nose and her moth
er caught her once using an eyebrow
pencil. It w’as much the same is
though an Easter lily had begun to
rouge. The situation was saved, how
ever, by the Sheriff’s removing Harry
for forgery, and after that Albert in j
wore what she thought was a heart
broken expression and thought she
*hrew into her face deep lines of ex
perience and suffering.
After Harry several others of ‘ho
same kind followed. Therefore, hav
ing long hovered over Albertine .n
fear that she would do some fo »l
thing and spoil her life, her family
was entranced when she became en
gaged to Jeffrey. It all happened so
suddenly that one was scarcely aware
Jeffrey was on earth before he w is
introducing himself as the future sor.-
in-law' and brother.
Jeffrey was absolutely as nearly
perfect as he could be for Alberti n •
Liberal-minded people might say he
erred on the side of rigidness and
propriety and possible narrowness,
but one felt that he would always be
at home at 6 o'clock sharp for dinner
and that Albertine never would have
to hang out''of the front window try
ing to distinguish whether it was
wavering down the street at 1 o’clock
in the morning. Jeffrey choked at the
sight of a cigarette, wouldn’t t e
caught dead at a dog show and said
his wife never should be permitted to
wear decollete gowns in the evening.
What She Said.
The more people considered the
matter the more Inexplicable It b»-
came. Finally her dearest friend flat
ly asked Albertine to explain Jeffrey's
attractions.
"You see," said the dearest friend,
“with your ideas I can't understanl
how you happen to fall In love with
Jeffrey, of all men.”
"Of all men!” echoed Albertine in
pitying astonishment. “Why, I’ll teli
you. Susie—because I recognized ai
once that Jeffrey is the most sophisti
cated sort of person. He’s such a man
of the world. I can’t abide them*
goody-goody men!”
UTTl THEN Spring romps laughing by valp and hill,
»V By windflower dancing and daffodil,
Sing stars of morning—sing morning skies,
♦Sing blue of speedwell, and my love’s eyes,
And gay birds gossip the orchard long.”
~
1
"he Change in 1
Ceorge
“W ! "
HEN I first noticed the
hange in George,” said
the blond woman, who was
no bigger than a minute, “I thought
it was indigestion. It is perfectly
wonderful how much a man’s liver is
responsible for! But when I men
tioned the doctor he was quite violent.
In fact, he was rude and stamped
around. It is hard on the rugs when
a man acts that way.
“‘Don’t roar at me, George!’ I told
him.
“ T’ve got to!’ he said in a regular
Bengal tiger sort of way. ‘I’ve got
to in order to maintain my supremacy
in the home! ’
beat her she respected him and
thanked her stars that her man was
so strong. Further, she was com
pletely happy to think that the gen
tleman who had loosened her front
teeth belonged entirely to her. I hate
to do it, Evangeline, but you’ve got
to respect me and look up to me 1 , even
if I have to follow that writer’s advice
and beat you’ In fact, he says, a
great many women require more oi-
less beating to make them loving
dutiable wives!’
George Shook His Head.
'George,' I said when he slopped
for breath, 'just what Is your inten-
n u i , , . tion? Am I to understand that you
Now, George has always been such are about to knock me down in or ? der
a perfect gentleman and so mild that to make sure of my imperishable af-
you may well imagine that I was faction? Are you contemplating dent-
CJeek of the Forty Faces
By T. W. HAHSHAW.
Copyright by Doubleday, Page A Co.
TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT.
^rpHANKS, very much. I’m hav
amazed. ’See here, George Guesser!
ing my face for the purpose of mak-
„ ing me too utterly happy to live? Be
I said to him. Tell me at once what cause if you are— '
you mean!’ 1 “George shook his head as if he
“TViic TViffprAnt M were considering something under a
inis was A/lnereni. microscope. 'IV hat a mistake I’ve
“George frowned awfully. His eye- j been making,’ he confided to himself,
brows looked like a lilac hedge that ‘Why, Evangeline, you are entirely
hasn't been trimmed since last spring lacking in that devotion which is
Then he cleared his throat 'I’ve just | part fear and which is necessary to
waked up to the fact,’ said he, 'that make a happy wife! It is all my
I have been taking a back seat and fault!’
allowing you to think I didn’t count. “Right here I concluded that it was
Why, when I consider how near 1 time to take George by tlie hand and
have been to losing your love it
makes me shudder! I just read a
wonderful article-
“‘Oh!’ said I. ‘An article! But
do you believe all you read?’
“ ‘This was different,’ George said.
Then he explained.
“ ‘ It was in one of the scientific
magazines, and the writer began by
saying that every woman sits and
waits the coming of her lord and mas
ter and is ready to follow when he
beckons. He does not woo or be
seech; he takes; he ’
‘ ‘George Guesser,’ I said to him
lead him forth to safety. ‘Darling,
said I, if you will tell me how a
woman is going to stand in any fear
of a man after she has viewed him
crawling under the bed after his col
lar button or trying to light the gas
with an already burned match or at
tempting to answer his child who
wants to know what there would
have been if there hadn’t been any
thing 1 shall consider myself in your
debt ’
“ ‘Not wishing to thrust myself for
ward or unduly trumpet my own
worth, I still would bet my false hair
‘whenever you waste time beckoning that if I ever get hold of that scien
me instead of coming where I am I’d tifle friend of yours long enough to
like to know it! Do you think I am a whisper a few thoughts into his ear
little yellow' puppy dog?’ My, but I he would shrivel up and blow away!
was angry! And now if you really yearn to hold
“George looked sad. ‘f see I have my love and affection, go down and
allowed you to get away from me,’ he shake up the furnace, because the
mused. Then he roared at me house is getting cold!’
‘“There is never a man brute so bru- i “‘Oh. vur-ry well,’ said George,
tal but a woman clings to Jiim!" ’ he peevishly, as he headed for the base-
quoted and beat the air with his afms. ment stairs. ‘That’s the way you
That was a fundamental point with always act when I attempt any real
the writer. He said that if the man progress. Women aren't scientific!'
cringed before tha woman she had j “ ‘Indeed, they’re not!’ I told him.
only contempt for him, but that if he ‘They’re Just plain sensible!’”
ing rather a difficult task of
It, for our friend, the Con
stable here, corroborates Miss Ren
frew's statement to the hair, and yet
I am absolutely positive that there Is
a mistake.”
“There is no mistake—no, not one!
The wicked one to my It still!”
“Oh. that's all very well, madame;
but I know what I know; and when
you tell me that a dead man can ask
questions. * * * Pah! The fact
of the matter Is that the Constable
only fancies he heard Mr. Noswortb
speak. That’s where the mistake
comes in. Now, Ibok here. 1 once
knew of an exactly similar case and
I'll tell you just how it happened. Bet
us suppose”—strolling leisurely for
ward—“let us suppose that this space
here is the covered passage and you—
step here a moment, please. Thanks,
very much—and you are Miss Ren
frew, and Gorham here is himself,
and standing beside her as he did
then.”
"Wasn’t beside her. sir at least not
just exactly. A bit behind her—like
this.”
"Oh, very well, then, that will do.
Now then Here’s the passage and
here are yon. and T’ll Just show you
how a mistake oould occur and how
it did occur under precisely similar
circumstances. Once upon a time
when I was In Paris—”
“It's a Play.”
“In Paris, monsieur?"
•Yes. madame—this little thing I’m
going to tell you about happened
there. You may or may not have
heard that a certain French drama
tist wrote a play called ‘Chantlcler’—.
or maybe you never heard of It?
Didn't, eh? Well, it’s a play where
all the characters are barnyard crea
tures—dogs, poultry, birds and the
like—and the odd fancy of men and
women dressing up like fowls took
such a hold on the public that before
long there were Chantlcler dunces and
Chantlcler parties in all the houses
and Chantlcler ‘turns’ on at all the
music hall« until w'herever one went
for an evening’s amusement one was
pretty sure of seeing somebody or
another dressed up like a cock or a
hen and running the thing to death.
But that’s another story, and we’ll
pass over It. Now, It Just so hap
pened that one night—when the craze
for the thing was dying out and
barnyard dresses could be bought for
a wng, I strolled into a little fourth-
rate cafe at Montemartre and there
saw the only Chantfeler dancer that I
ever thought was worth a sou. She|
was a pretty dainty little thing—
light as a feather and graceful as a
fairy. Aione, I think she might have
made her mark, but she was on* of
what in music halldom they call ‘a
team.' Her partner was a man—a
bad dancer, an indifferent singer, but
a really passable ventriloquist.”
The Expose.
"A ventriloquist, monsieur—er--er.”
“Cleek, madam—name’s Cleek, if
you don’t mind!”
“Cleek! Oh. lummy!” blurted out
Mr. Nippers. But neither, “Madam”
nor Constable Gorham said anything.
They merely swung round and made
a sudden bolt; and Cleek, nmking a
bolt, too, pounced down on them like
a leaping cat, And the sharp click-
click of the handcuffs he had bor
rowed from Mr. Nippers told Just
when he linke’d their two wrists to
gether.
“Game’s up, Mile, Fiflne, otherwise
Mme. Nosworth, the worthless wife of
a worthless husband!" he rapped out
sharply. "Game's up, Mr. Henry Nos
worth, bandit, pickpocket and mur
derer! There’s a hot corner in hell
waiting for the brute-beast that could
kill his own father, and would, for
the simple sake of money. Get at
him quick, Mr. Narkom. He’s got one
free hand! Nip the paper out of his
pocket before the brute destroys it!
Flayed, sir, played! Buck up, Miss
Renfrew, buck up, little girl!—you’ll
get your Boy’ and you’ll get Mr. Sep
timus Nosworth’s promised fortune
after all! ‘God’s In his heaven and
all's right with the world!’”
“Yes, a very, very clever scheme
Indeed, Miss Renfrew,’’ agreed Cleek.
“T^ald with great cunning and carried
out with extreme carefulness—as
witness the man’s coming here and
getting appointed constable and bid
ing his time, and the woman serving
as cook for six months to get the
entree to the house and to he ready
to assist when the time of action came
round. I don’t think I had the least
inkling of the truth until I entered
this house and saw the woman. She
had done her best to pad herself to
an unwieldly size, and to blanch por
tions of her hair, but she couldn’t
quite make her face appear old with
out betraying the fact that it was
painted—and hers is one of those
peculiarly pretty faces that one never
forgets when one has ever seen It.
To Be Concluded To-morrow.
The Professor
Ate Nuts
“VT
¥ den
said Professor J. Had-
nsfleld Joy, “I used to be &
vegetarian myself. I have
seen the time when a biff porterhouse
steak or a fat and lean allce of ham
made me tear my hair, realign* how
barbarous la man. Broiled spring
chicken made me grate my teedh In
rage.
"Not only wa« I vegetarian, but I
«a» one of those who follow along
lines of the most extreme differentia
tion I couldn't eat pieplant tops or
white oak bark, Just because they
were vegetable substances. I special
ised In cocoenuts.
"I bought a hundred flne, fresh nuts.
These I put tn a cool and shady place,
and thereupon discarded all allegiance
to such foods as have dwarfed' man's
noble Intellect. My family ate as
usual.
"When morning dawned on my first
day of real liberty I got a handsaw
and sawed off the top of a nut. Then
I drank of the life-giving fluid In
side. After that I proceeded to feaat
on the meat of the nut, as my distant
anenetora had done. When I started
for the laboratory I took a flne nut
under my arm and tried to walk in
my usual heavy and methodical stride
Tt was no use. I felt like hopping
along.
A Deep Longing.
"Persons whom 1 met addressed me
as 'professor,' but with a gaze too hu
man to suit me. t found myself look-
ing up into trees with a vague, deep
longing. It was as though T had in
herited something that had been hid
den in my soul’s archives all my life.
I arrived at the laboratory with my
emblem of liberty still under my arm.
The rude and thoughtless experiment
alists looked and talked as they talk
who arc in a state of men'tal slavery.
My luncheon made me want to run
up and down the halla and passages
and climb -the posts.
“This glorious life lasted for a week.
One night Mrs. Joy had to tak*> a
broomstick and punch me down from
the picture railing, where I was try
ing to pass the night. The next day I
could nt resist the temptation to climb
a tree when I had started to conduct
my daily investiea-ti^i of life’s solemn
facts at the laboratory. A cocoanut
was under my ’arm. Presently there
came speeding along a very big man
In a very big automobile. I landed the
cocoanut on his head with a precision
that I had never learned. In another
instant my man w4as shaking my*
perch as if he were a concentrated
earthquake. All the Joys swarmed
around the tree. Mrs. Joy shrieked:
Don't hurt him—he’» been living on
cocoanut*! ’
The End of It.
“ Turned hack into s monkey, has
he?* said the man. Tve been living
on raw meat, and if 1 get my hand3
on him I’ll eat him!’ Then he de-
par te<L
“A1I the Joys got hold of me and
took me back to the dining room and
seated me at the table. Soon there
was spread before me a repast con
sisting of one porterhouse steak, one
slice of ham, three slices of bacon and
a few other things. I could scarcely
walk when I started to work
“Henceforth give me a full dinner
of real food or cut down the trees.”
“Bronson’s wife used to be one of
your old flames, didn’t she?”
“Yes; I was In real misery when she
threw me over for him.”
“Well, that makes you square. Now
Bronson’s the man in misery.”
• • •
Patient—But. doctor, you are not
asking five dollars for merely taking
a cinder out of my eye?
Specialist—er—no. My charge is for
removing a foreign substance from the
cornea.
0 0 0
A man having buried his wife, a
woman of uhusual size, a neighbor a
few days afterwards attempted a little
in the consolation line by remarking:
"Well, Mr. , you have met with a
heavy loss."
"Yes," replied the mourner, "she
weighed close upon four hundred
pounds. ”
0 0*
It you wish to pay a pretty compli
ment to a plain and ignorant woman
and at the same time do not wish to
be guilty of an untruth, tell her that
she is as beautiful as she is accom
plished. She will think you are a charm
ing man, and your conscience will be
guiltless of a lie.
Shekel
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we rove
Is the name of the great serial story, the first instalment of which will be
published in The Georgian’s Magazine Page WEDNESDAY. It is the story of
the Rothschilds, masters of millions, and the effect of their power in Europe.