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xr -d, PAGIH^' Little Bobbie’s Pa “May Flowers 99 Copyright. 1913, Na. tonal Nnwa Ass n. By NELL BRINKLEY a* — , (#r By WILLIAM F. KIRK. P A took me fishing yesterday. It was a beautiful day wen we started out & Pa sed it wav jest the kind of a day to catch a lot of fish. Doant you think you ought to take a guide, deerest. sed Ma. You know we are strangers to this seckshun <& you mite not be abel to find the right places to fish. My father used to al ways taik a guide with him wen he went fishing in a strange country. He was always afrade that he mite git lost. Thare is no danger of you losing me that eesy. said Pa. Doant you worry about that. I know thare is no chanst to lose you. sed Ma, but I shud hate to lose lit tel Bobbie. Pleese taik a guide. Thare is no danger around this open country, sed Pa. we doant need a guide; cum on, Bobbie. Doant fergit to hang onto that lunch. We will need it by noon. He Got Tired. After we had walked for about two hours I began to git kind of tired & I cud see that Pa w r as gitting tired, too. How far is this stream? I avked Pa. I doant want to walk all day. It cant be very much further, said Pa. The man at the hotel toald us to keep walking thru this patch of hard wood, due north, till we cairn to a big pine tree and then to go about two miles thru a spruce patch until we cairn to the stream. Bobbie, sed Pa, -doant you hear a littel trout stream purling anywhere? No, I sed. & I am lissening as hard as T can. Doant you hear any kind of a stream purl at all? sed Pa No. I sed, not any kind of a stream, * I aint going to walk much further, eether. Then Pa beegan talking to me about one time wen he took sum frends along trout fishing in upper Mishigan. Thay all thot f was lost, sed Pa. Thare was two ladies in the crowd & thay was the bravest in the party. The men looked awful worried, sed Pa; thay kep telling how we was up aggenst it. but the ladies jest kep on luffing and cheering thare husbands. Thay had perfeck faith in me beekaus I herd one of them tell the other that I looked so self-reliant that she wud trust me anyware to keep peepul from danger. Yes, sed Pa. those ladies trusted me & thare faith in me was justified. Presently we cairn to our destination. Pa. sed. & the ladies sed thay felt like hugging me. I cud see that Pa was talking kind of absent-minded beekauv ail the time he was talking he kep looking around in the woods & I knew he dident know his way. Jest then Pa sed Bobbie, Bobbie, i hear it, I hear it. It is the sound of running water that I hear. Dident I tell you. Bobbie? They Hear It. Sure enuff, I herd the running water, too, so both of us began to walk faster toward a cleering. After we git to the brook. Bobbie, sed Pa, we will arrange our tackel & go after the speckled buties. Jest then we cairn out into the cleering ware we had herd the run ning water & Pa & me neerly fell over. We was bapk to the littel hotel from vvich we had started out from. We had went in a cirkel. Ma was setting on the porch grinning at Pa, & the s«ound of the running water was water cumming- from a hose. The hired man was washing the barn. Now Ma calls Pa Isaak Walton. ^4 <0 The Professor Ate Nuts ■SFF < '-><yc T4* u b J w *-c /V. K Y lit Uncle’s Sporting Trophies. Tom Brown and Jack Smith had been schoolmates together, but, as often happens, had drifted apart dur ing the years that followed. Then, q'uite accidentally, they met again one day, and somehow the conversation turned to the subject of athletics. “Let me see!” said Brown. “You never came across my brother, did you? He's a fine runner, you know. Why, only last week he won a gold medal in a Marathon race." “Ah!" said Smith, raising his eye brows in genuine admiration. Then, a faint smile playing around his lips, he added: “And did I ever tell you about my uncle?’’ “Don’t think so,” replied Brown. "Well in his day, not only did he get a gold medal for five miles, and one for ten miles, but two sets of carvers for cycling, a silver medal for swim ming, two cups for wrestling, to say nothing of badges for boxing and row ing. “You see," Smith continued, while his friend sat speechless with amaze ment, “the uncle in question kept a pawnshop.’’ NEURALGIA 'ANDLAGSIPPE , /g m ml HUi,- 4t.. 4 vv , • ,iS? f ftp)'. Ijp- IT/ m/i I I l\ *55" V A. 6> ■£<0? XV - ^ ‘AA, S- 'O o cl cl w. 1.1 oi Ou Z c ’ ■ >43> -O- a -X’ '\>y •*' •»«*> o M 9 • w. .. ¥§i at--. - . njs - 4,c • ■*.Y %.■, <5 0 , yLiiv. « -a Y HA>Jo o , C % <1 0 * • o Zi - 6 (j. <J *‘ oc Xj-c-- Her Love For Romance A HUMOROUS STORY. - : -■ ^ A S a little girl Albertine always sat in the chair in the farthest corner when she went to chil dren’s parties. She had a meek, pret ty little face, abundant yellow hair and large, appealing blue eyes that held a shadow of apology in them for her temerity in presuming to exist. She retained the modest violet at mosphere after she was grown up. Other girls might blossom into dar ing coquettes and fascinating belles, but Albertine always kept in the background. Whenever people looked *t her they involuntarily thought of lace mitts and hoopskirts and curt seys. They felt that Albertine should Lc put under glass. This being the case, it was aston ishing that down in her secret heart Albertine had a fierce love of the dar ing. the wild and gay and the ex treme. When she picked out a dre^s design she always chose the rankest, most alarming atrocity. The dress maker said, “Oh, certainly!” and th-n proceeded to modify the pattern to suit A bertine’s appearance. She Suspected. Things had a way of drooping on her in o-ld-fashioned lines. She want ed to look frightfully smart and somehow she never did. Secretly she suspecti d the dressmakers, but she never df red accuse them. It was the same way when it cam.? to the young men. Let a perfectly steady, sober youth w f ho earned a regular salary and was good to his mother come her way and Albertine raised her little nose and <fniffed. She simply could not see him. She ad mired extravagantly the sort of young man who dashed down the street wearing crimson silk socks and a tm to match and the latest cry in waist coats, and if he was followed by a bulldog so much the better. If peop’.e raised their eyebrows and coughed dis creetly when his name was mentioned it made the situation perfect. Albertine always felt loftily then that she was an experienced, worldly wise person and the eyebrow raisers were narrow provincials. Usually the bulldoggv young man never pro gressed in the acquaintance further ESTABU' HED 23 YEARS .DR.E.G. GRIFFIN’S GATE CITY DENTAL ROOMS BEST WORK AT LOWEST PRICES All Work Guaranteed. Hours 8 to 6-Phone M. 17C8-Sunday* 9-1 24' > Whitehall St. Over Brown <&. Allens ♦han raising his hat and casting an entrancing smile at her; but Albertine was satisfied with just adoring him from a distance. Her family was quite alarmed when she fell in love with Harry Jungles, because Harry always was in debt and worked only semi-occasionally, and Albertine’s relatives had a great deal of money. Harry seemed awake to this fact, for he actually called on Albertine and talked poetry to her in 'he parlor in low, rich tones, and told her how the world misjudged him. Albertine went so far as to powder her already white nose and her moth er caught her once using an eyebrow pencil. It was much the same is though an Easter lily had begun to rouge. The situation was saved, how ever, by the Sheriff's removing Harry for forgery, and after that Alhertin? wore what she thought was a heart broken expression and thought she % hrew into her face deep lines of ex perience and suffering After Harry several others of the same kind followed. Therefore, hav ing long hovered over Albertine .n fear that she would do some fo »l thing and spoil her life, her family 'vas entranced when she became en gaged to Jeffrey. It all happened soi suddenly that one was scarcely aware Jeffrey was on earth before he vn ••= introducing himself as the future son- in-law and brother. Jeffrey was absolutely as nearly perfect as he could be for Albertin Liberal-minded people might say he erred on the side of rigidness an 1 propriety and possible narrowness but one felt that he would always he at home at fi o’clock sharp for dinn?r and that Albertine never would have to hang out of the front window try ing to distinguish whether it was wavering down the street at 1 o'clock in the morning. Jeffrey choked at the sight of a ciearette. wouldn’t * e caught dead at a dog show and said his w'ife never should be permitted *o wear decollete gowns in the evening. What She Said. The more people considered the matter the more inexplicable it be came. Finally her dearest friend flat ly «9ked Albertine to explain Jeffrey's attractions. “You see, - ' said the dearest friend, “with your ideas I can’t understao ! j how you happen to fail in love with * Jeffrey, of all men.” “Of all men!” echoed albertine in pitying astonishment. “Why, I’ll leli you. Susie—because I recognized ai once that Jeffrey is th*' most sophisti cated sort of person. He’s such a man of the world. I can’t abide th. si* goody-goody men!” BIT THEN Spring comes laughing by vale and hill, » V By' windflower dancing and daffodil, Sing stars of morning—sing morning skies, Sing blue of speedwell, and my love s eyes, And gay birds gossip the orchard long.” 1 n le Change in George Cleek of the Forty Faces By T. W. HANSHAW. said Professor J. Had- enafleld Joy, “I used to be a vegetarian my self. I have seen the time when a big porterhouse steak or a fat and lean slice of ham made me tear my hair, realizing how barbarous is man. Broiled spring chicken made me grate my teeth in rage. ’ Not only was I vegetarian, hut I was one of those who follow along lines of the most extreme differentia tion. I couldn’t eat pieplant tops or white oak bark, just because* they were vegetable substances. I special ized in cocoa nuts. I bought a hundred 1 tine, fresh nuts. These I put in a cool and shady place, *nd thereupon discarded all allegiance to such foods as have dwarfed' man’s noble intellect. My family ate as usual. | “When morning dawned on my first day of real liberty I got a handsaw’ and sawed off the top of a nut. Then I drank of the life-giving fluid in side. After that I proceeded t<> feast on the meat of the nut, as my distant ancestors had done. When I started for the laboratorv I took a fine nut under my arm and tried to walk in my usual heavy and methodical stride. It was r.o use. I felt like hopping along. A Deep Longing. 'Person* whom 1 met addressed me as ‘professo*,’ hut with a gaze too hu man to suit me. I found myself look ing up into trees with a vague, deep longing. It was as though I had in herited something that had been 'hid den in my soul's archives all my life. 1 arrived at the laboratory with my emblem of liberty still under my arm. The rude and thoughtless experiment alists looked and talked as they talk who are in a stpte of mental slavery. luncheon made me want to run up and down the halls and passages and climb the posts. “This glorious life lasted for a week. •>ne night Mrs. Joy had to take a broomstick and punch me down from the picture railing, where I was try ing to pass < he night. The next day I ould nt resist the temptation to climb tree when I had started to conduct my daily investigation of life’s solemn facts at the laboratory. A cocoanut was under my arm. Presently there came speeding along a very big man in a very big automobile. I landed the 'ocoanut on his head with a-precision that I had never learned. In another instant my man wta s shaking my perch as if he were a concentrated earthquake. All the Joys swarmed around the tree. Mrs. Joy shrieked: ’Don't hurt him—he's been living on coeoanuts! ’ The End of It. ' Turned back into a monkey, has he?' said the man. I've been living on raw' meat, and if I get my hands on him I’ll eat him!’ Then he de parted. “AH the Joys got hold of me and took me back to the dining room and eated me at the table. Soon there vas spread before me a repast con sisting of one porterhouse steak, on-* si ice of ham. three slices of bacon and a few' other things. I could scarcely walk when I started to work. “Henceforth give me a full dinner I of real food or cut down the trees.” Copyright by Doubleday, Page & Co. TO-DAY’S INSTALLMENT. ((rpHANKS, very much. I'm ha?- (r-j-i 1 tt W"' HEN I first noticed the hange in George.” said the blond woman, who was no bigger than a minute, “I thought it was indigestion. It is perfectly wonderful how much a man's liver ita responsible for! But when I men tioned the doctor he was quite violent. In fact, he was rude and stamped around. It is hard on the rugs when a man acts that way. “‘Don’t roar at me, George!’ 1 told him. “ I’ve got to!' he said in a regular Bengal tiger sort of way. ‘I’ve got to in order to maintain my supremacy in the home!’ “Now, George has always been such a perfect gentleman and so mild that you may well imagine that I was amazed. ‘See here, George Guesser!' I said to him. Tell me at once what you mean!’ ‘‘Thie Was Different.” “George frowned awfully. His eye brow’s looked like a lilac hedge that hasn't been trimmed since last spring. Then he cleared his throat. Tve just waked up to the fact,’ said he. ‘thut 1 have been taking a hack seat and allowing you to thirik I didn’t count. Why, when I consider how near 1 have been to losing your love it makes me shudder! I Just read a wonderful article “’Oh!’ said 1 An article! But do you believe all you read?’ “ ’This was different,’ George said. Then he explained; “ ‘ It was in one of the scientific magazines, and the writer began by saying that every woman sits and waits the coming of her lord and mas ter and is ready to follow when he -beckons. He does not woo or be seech: he takes; he——•' “ ‘George Guesser.’ 1 said to him, ‘whenever you waste time beckoning me instead of coming where I am I’d like to know it! Do you think I am a little yellow puppy dog?’ My, but I was angry! “George looked sad. ‘I see I have allowed you to get away from me.’ he mused. Then he roared at me. ‘ “There is never a man brute so bru tal but a woman clings to him!" ’ he quoted and beat the air w ith his arms. That was a fundamental point w’ith Ihe writer. He said that if the man cringed before the woman she had only contempt for him, but that if he beat her she respected him and thanked her stars that her man was so strong. Further, she was com pletely happy to think that the gen tleman who had loosened her front teeth belonged entirely to her. I hate to do it, Evangeline, but you’ve got to respect me and look up to me, even if 1 have to follow that writer’s advice and beat you! In fact, he says, a great many women require more oi* less heating to make them loving dutiable wives!’ Gecrge Shook His Head. “ ‘George,’ ! said w'hen he stopped for breath, Just what is your inten tion? Am I to understand thal you are about to knock me down in order to make sure of my imperishable af fection? Are you contemplating dent ing my face for the purpose of mak ing me too utterly Jiappy to live? Be cause if you are- ' “George shook his head as if he were considering something under a microscope. What a mistake I’ve been making,’ he confided to himself. ‘Why, Evangeline, you are entirely lacking in that devotion which is part fear and which is necessary to make a happy wife! It is all my fault! ’ “Right here I concluded that it was time to take George by the hand and lead him forth to safety. ‘Darling.’ said I, ‘if you will tell me how a woman is going to stand in any fear of a man after she has viewed him crawling under the bed after his col lar button or trying to light the gas with an already burned match or at tempting to answer his child who wants to know what there would have been if there hadn’t been any thing 1 shall consider myself in your debt! " Not wishing to thrust myself for ward or unduly trumpet my own worth, 1 still would bet my false hair that if I ever get hold of that scien tific friend of yours long enough to whisper a few thoughts into his ear he would shrivel, up and blow’ away! And now’ if you really yearn to hold my love and affection, go down and shake up the furnace, because the house is getting cold!’ “‘Oh. vur-ry well,’ said George, peevishly, as he headed for the base ment stairs. ‘That’s the way you always act when I attempt any real progress.. Women aren’t scientific!’ “’Indeed, they’re not!’ I told him. ‘They’re just plain sensible! " ing rather a difficult task of it, for our friend, the Con stable here, corroborates Miss Ren frew’s statement to the hair, and yet 1 am absolutely positive that there is a mistake.” “There is no mistake—no, not one! The wicked one to May it still!” “Oh. that’s all very well, madame; but I know w’hat I know; and when you tell me that a dead man can ask questions. * * * Pah! The fact of the matter is that the Constable only fancies he heard Mr. Nosworth speak. That’s where the mistake comes in. Now. look here. r once knew of an exactly similar case and I’ll tell you Just how It happened. Let us suppose”—strolling leisurely for ward—"let us suppose that this space here is the covered passage and you— step here a moment, please. Thanks, very much—and you are Miss Ren frew, and Gorham here is himself, and ''landing beside her as he did then.” “Wasn’t beside her, sir—at least not just exactly. A bit behind her—like this.” “oh, very well, then, that will do. Now then. Here’s the passage and here are you, and I’ll just show you how a mistake could occur and how it did occur under precisely similar circumstances. Once upon a time when T was in Paris—” "It’s a Play.” “In Paris, monsieur?" ‘Yes, madame—this little thing I'm going to tell you about happened there. You may or may not have heard that a certain French drama tist wrote.a play called 'Chnnticler'— or maybe you never heard of It? Didn’t, eh? Well, it’s a play where all the characters are barnyard crea tures—dogs, poultry, birds and th» like—and the odd fancy of men and women dressing up like fowls took such a hold on the public that before long there were Chanticler dances and Chanticler parties in all the houses and Uhanticler ‘turns’ on at all the music halle until wherever one went for an evening’s amusement one was pretty sure of seeing somebody or another dressed up like a cock or a hen and running the thing to death. But that’s another story, and we’l! pass over it. Now, it just so hap- pence! that one night -when the craze for Uie thing was dying out and barnyard dresses could b<* bought for a song, I strolled into a little fourth- rate cafe at Montemartre and there saw the only Chanticler dancer that I ever thought was worth a sou. She was a pretty, dainty little thing— light as t feather and graceful as ;• fairy. Alone. I think she might have made her mark, but she was one of what in music halldom they call ‘a team.’ Her partner was a man—a bad dancer, an Indifferent singer, but a really passable ventriloquist.” Ths Expose. “A ventriloquist, monsieur—er—er.” ■“Cleek, madam—name’s Cleek, if you don’t mind!” “Cleek! Oh. lummy!” blurted out Mr. Nippers. But neither. "Madam" nor Constable Gorham sAid anything. They merely swung round and made a sudden bolt; and Cleek. making a bolt, too, pounced down on them like a leaping cat. and the sharp click- click of the handcuffs he had bor rowed from Mr. Nippers told just when he linked their two wrists to gether. “Game’s up, Mile, Fifino, otherwise Mme. Nosworth. the worthless wife of a worthless husband!” he rapped out sharply. "Game’s up, Mr. Henry Nos worth, bandit, pickpocket and mur derer' There’s a hot corner in hell waiting for the brute-beast that could kill his own father, and would, for the simple sake of money. Get at him quick, Mr. Narkom. lie’s got one free hand! Nip the paper out of his pocket before the brute destroys it! Played, sir. played! Buck up, Miss Renfrew, buck up, little girl! you’ll get your ‘Boy’ and you’ll get Mr. Sep timus Nosworth's promised fortune after all! ‘God's in ' his heaven and all’s right with the world!’” "Yes, a very, very clever scheme indeed. Miss Renfrew,” agreed Cleek. “Laid with great ‘cunning and carried out with extreme carefulness—as witness the man’s coming here and 1 getting appointed constable and hid ing his time, and the woman serving as cook for six months to get the entree to the house and to be ready to assist when the time of action dame round. I don’t think I had the least inkling of the truth until I entered this house and saw the woman. She had done her best to pad herself to an unwleldly size, and to blanch por tions of her hair, hut she couldn't quite make her face appear old with out betraying the fact that it was painted and hers is one of those peeiHiarly pretty faces that one never forgets when one lias ever seen it. To Be Concluded To-morrow. “Bronson’s wife used to he your old flames, didn't she?” "Yes: I was in real misery when she threw me over for him.” “Well, that makes you square. Now Bronson's the man in misery.” • • • Patient—But. doctor, you are not asking five dollars for merely taking a cinder out of my eye? Specialist—er no. My charge is for removing a foreign substance from the cornea. * • * * A man having buried his wife, a woman of uhusual size, a neighbor a few days afterwards attempted a little in the consolation line by remarking; “Well, Mr. , you have met with a heavy loss.” “Yes.” replied the mourner, “she weighed close upon four hundred pounds.” • * * If you wish to pay a pTetty compli ment to a plain and ignorant woman and at the same time do not wish to he guilty of an untruth, tell her that she is as beautiful as she is accom plished. She will think you are a charm ing man, and your conscience will be guiltless of a lte 3kcted Get the Original and Genuine HORLICK’S MALTED MILK The Food-drink for All Ages. For Infants, Invalids and Growing Chll- dren. Pure Nutrition, upbuilding the whole body. Invigorates the nursing mother and the aged. Rich milk, malted grain, in powder form. A quick lunch prepared In a minute. Take no substitute. Aak for HORLICK’S Not in Any Milk Trust For Sale VAUDEVILLE THEATER For colored patrons; seating capacity 1,600. Big money-maker. Cleared mure than $10,000 last year. Owner must sell quick on account of bad health. For full particulars rail DIXIE THEATER, 127 Decatur St.