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HEARST’S SUNDAY AMERICAN, ATLANTA, OA., SUNDAY, MAY 11, 1013. 5 CL ' I i TALES TOLD BY THE JQKESMITHS Sensible Fad In Shoes at Last She Wasn’t Dumb. An attendant at a certain institute for the deaf and dumb was undergo ing a pointless rapid-fire inquisition at the hands of a female visitor. “But how do you summon these poor mutes to church?” she asked finally, with what was meant to be a pitying glance at the inmates near by. “By ringing the dumb bells, mad am,” retorted the exasperated attend ant. The Nut-Cracker. Mrs. Cooke had a new servant, and after the first cake she baked the. mistress went to the kitchen. “Delia,” said Mrs. Cooke, “your cake was very good, but there were not enough nuts in it. When you make another, please remember I like plenty of nuts in the cake.” f “Well, mum,” replied the girl, “the reason I didn’t put more in was be cause I couldn’t crack any more to day. Indeed, mum, an my jaw hurts yet from them I did crack.” A Work of Supererogation. The late Bryan Callaghan, for many years Mayor of San Antonio, Texas, was a “practical” politician, whose lieutenants believed that the end jus tified the means. Just as the polls of a certain precinct were closing in one of Callaghan’s contests tfcert rolled up to the voting place a mov ing van filled with Mexicans. “Take those Greasers away from here!” shouted an election of ficer. “We’re already five hundred ahead of the census.” Girls Like New Flapper Model Miss Belli- Story’s foot, showing the contrast between the new Oat heel and the high model. Old Enough. “Fine oid inn, sir," commented the the host. “Everything in this house has its story.” “I don’t doubt,” remarked the grumpy tourist. “And is there any legend connected with this old piece of cheese?” Easy to Fill. Blink (the wholesaler)—Well, how' many orders did you get yesterday ? Gink (the salesman)—1 got two or ders in one shop. Blink—What w'ere they? Gink—One was to get out and the other was to stay out. He Was Nothing. • First Coster (outside picture deal er’s window)—Who w i Nero, Bill? Wasn’t he was always cold? r Second Coster—No; thet was Zero, anuvver bloke altogether. Can’t Blame Him. , Frenchman—You are fuifny people, vou Engleesh. You take strong whis ky; you put water in it to make it weak; you put sugar in it to make it s ', , t; you put lemon in it to make it sour; then you say. “Here’s to you,” and drill!; it yourself! Mon Dieu! this ’ere chep that Rubber Soles Bring Feet Closer to the Ground Than Ever Before. M liKLLE STORY tripped across the stage at the For syth Theater. Critical eyes gazed. Voice from Row 1:. “Well, I wish you might look at them s'hoes of hers.” Companion voice: “Well, what - d’you know about that?” Two heads were craned to contact for a sight of the prima donna's feet; two pairs of ears were deaf to her swell of song. “I ain’t seen a pair of them French Loo-ey heels in sdx weeks,” said the first voice. The eyes gazed raptly at the tower ing tokens of antiquity. Then the girls who possessed the eyes looked down at their own heel-less, rubber- soled tans, wiggled their toes with I Will Stake This Medicine Against Your Time A Few Days Will Be Sufficient to Prove That You Are Curable 4 few minutes of your time for a few days- and i will demonstrate to vou. without expense to yourself, that I have a medicine that drives I nc Acid poison from the system and by so doing cures kidney trouble, bladder trouble and rheumatism. I don't ask vou to take mv word for it, but simpiy want you to let me send you some of this medicine so that you can use it personally. i am trying to convince sufferers from these diseases that I have some thing far better than the usual run of 'remedies, treatments and such things and the only way I can demonstrate that fact is to go to the expense of compounding the medii-ine and send ing it out free of charge. This I am glad to do for any sufferer who will take the time to write me. Under stand I will not send you a so-called “sample, proof or test treatment,’ nor will I send you a package of medicine and sav that you can use some of it «ind pay for the rest, but I will send f vou- a supplv free of charge and you will-not be asked to pay for this gift nor will you be under any obligations. All I want to know is that you have a disease for which my medicine is in tended, as it is not a “cure-all,” and I give herewith some of the leading symptoms of kidney, bladder and rheumatic troubles. If you notice nr.'r or more of these symptoms you need rills medicine, and I will be glad to *and sou some of it*if you win write me the numbers of the symptoms* you have give your age and your name and address. My address is Dr. T. ”r erlf l.ynott, 9251 Deagan Building, Chicago III. You promise me noth ing- sum pav me nothing for it. All 1 ask’ so there shall be no mistake. ;s ilia* you send me the numbers of your symctnmi ur.m description in your own words, and that you take the medicine according to the directions’ I send-vou; It is 'by way of getting .’ub.Kc.ity for my medicine so that H will -become widely known. 11 agree when you have used dissolves and drives out uric acid poison, it tones the kidneys so that they work in harmony with the bladder. It strengthens the bladder so that frequent desire to urinate and other urinary disorders are banished. It stops rheumatic aches and pains Immediately. It dissolves uric acid crystals so that back and muscles no longer ache and crooked joints quickly straighten out. It - reconstructs the »blood-and nerves to that you soon feel healthier and more vigorous, sleep better and eat better and have energy v throughout the day. It does all this, and yet contains nothing injurious and is absc#i itely vouched for according lo law. Sufferers from these dreadful and YOU I DR. T. FRANK LYNOTT, who will send medicine to anyone free of charge. dangerous diseases can surely afford k o spend a few minutes each day fora few days to demonstrate to their own satisfaction if they are curable, espe cially when you consider no expense is involved, and I willingly give you my time and my medicine. All any fair- minded afflicted person wants to know ! s if a certain thing will cure HIM or HER, and here is an opportunity to find out without cost, obligation or important toss of time. THESE FEW DAYS may be the turning point in your life. All who are interested enough to write me for the free medicine will also receive a copy of my large illus trated medical book, which describes the^e diseases thoroughly. It is the largest book of the kind ever written for free distribution, and a new edi tion is just being printed.- I will also write you a letter of diagnosis and nvdical advice that should be of great help to you; but in order to do this I must know that you need my medi cine. Write me the numbers of the svmptoms that trouble you. and you. 1 age, and I will promptly carry out my promises. Show an inclination to be cured and you will be. free abandon, and sighed contented ly. Styles had changed. Right From Peachtree. The girls were just out of the Peachtree throng. They wore low tan shoes without heels that brought their entire foot within an unwonted quarter of an inch to the ground. When they walked the back of their feet struck the floor with a dull thud —at last the term is truthful—and the front of their feet flapped down with a lightly echoing concussion. But then, everybody knows the re sult of the new flat-bottomed style, for everybody is affecting it on Peachtree Street. Pigeon-toes are unveiled in all their naivete. High heels, forcing the toes obliquely outward, have passed. But then, who should worry? The new wrinkle, the girls all say, is comfort able. And strangely enough, the girls admit that they are sensible, admit it without so much as a blush for the fast-disappearing tradition that style is art, and that art and conven ience are incompatible. Where are the heels of yesterday? Who knows? Shoe dealers of Atlanta don’t. The same shoe merchants,. swell ing their profit accounts by sales of rubber-soled shoes* to the maidens of Atlanta, are a little resentful toward those very same shoes. They can’t explain them. “Where did they come from?” said one expert buyer yesterday. “I wish I knew. I wish I knew wljere any styles in women’s shoes come from. There’s no logic to any of them.” He sighed hopelessly. “Despair, thy name is girls’ shoes,” he murmured. Style Comes to Stay. Then he explained that the new style, springing suddenly out of no where into a tremendous vogue, seems to have come to stay—not the abso lutely heel-levs effect, maybe, but a very low-heeled compromise, wilh rubber soles. Even the conventional Cuban-Louise walking shoes, with higher heels, have rubber tips on the heels. “Shoes are made by an indefinable combination,” he elucidated. “That combination is style, comfort, and wear. The new shoes have something of them all. But where they came from, and what’s coming next—say avk me something easy. I don’t mind prophesying a pennant winner, or the Bull Moose future. But shoes— “The girls got from the men I reckon. That’s my best guess. Ii looks like emancipation and a votes- for-women development.” Then he grumbled. “But there’s no logic in women’s shoe styles. They change with the weather—they don’t wait for sea sons.” Musical Comedy For Vail Think of turning from a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde role to a Jimmy Pow ers sailor part! That is if you can think of such a thing without over taxing yourself. Sounds preposter ous—especialyl when one considers that the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing was well done. Yet that is what Edwin Vail wants to do. Be it known that Mr. Vail is some actor and is now leading man of the Miss Billy Dong Stock Company. Most capable and win ning. too, is Mr. Vail in his work. More than that he is successful and is now getting a salary that many musital comedy stars might envy. But Mr. Vail wants to quit being a leading man and a matinee hero. He wants to don the spangles and i absurd costumes of a musical eo'm- edy laugh-maker. He who is ac customed to making one cry and to winning plaudits by his brave and glorious acts on the stage battle fields—he who has won many hearts by spoiling the well laid plans of the villians! *Tis silly, say you. Still ’tis true. Here are his own words. “I am tired of being a leading man. I am tired of playing fine parts where I am always being called up on to' do hefbic deeds. I am tired of winning applause by taking heavy roles. I am tired of always coming out on top with the fair maiden in my arms. I am tired of all the glo rious roles which stir the fluttering hearts of the matinee girls—God bless them! “I want to be the butt of the jokes. Musical Comedy Goal. “I want to jump into musical com edy. I want to play a Dick-Dead- Eye part, exchanging my immaculate dress suit for a rough and ready sailor make-up; or be a Bum Detec tive; or a Busy Izzv Easy Mark— anything of the kind to get into musical comedy. And believe me I am going to realize this ambition. “It may seem strange to hear me saying these things, for most leading men aspire to do Shakespeare. Look at William Faversham; James K. Hackett, Nat Goodwin and all those kind. And then look at the come dians? Why Eddie Foy wants to be a Hamlet and DeWolf Hooper wants to do Shylock. Not for me. 1 want some extravagant, freakish role and believe I can make good in such. “I have been on the stage ten years and seven of this number has been devoted to playing leading roles. I have played more than 400 differ ent leading characters during these seven years, for some months as suming two eaqh week in stock. Think of what a burden it has been to be the hero of 400 plays of one character or another. I have played a few villain and heavy roles, such as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and even a Romeo in “Romeo and Juliet.” Now I want a change. “I started out as a singer and still have something ol a voice. My first appearance on the stage was in my home town, Plainfield, N. .1., ten years ago with Primrose and West’s minstrels. I only remained with the minstrels a short time when I began playing parts in stock and touring companies. Seven years ago I became a leading man and have been living up to the mark since. Path of Roses, Maybe. “I did not fun away from home to go on the stage and- did not start working for little or nothing. Mr. Vail is quite an extraordinary leading man and if the words of Homer George, manager of the At lanta, count for anything he should succeed in his new ambition. Mr. George has an abiding respect for Mr. Vail. He is a man of brains, smart, thoughtful and always .at ease. Mr, Vail, is a graduate of Columbia University and as well set up as any college man might be. If next season or the season after you see the handsome young fellow doing some outlandish work in mus ical comedy—and making you laugh —don’t be surprised if the program classifies that man as: Edwin Vail. Woman’s Hair Is on the Wane By MIGNON HALL. Seventy-five per cent of the women in Atlanta are getting bald. In other words they are shedding their hair—it isn’t growing where it used to be. It is falling out in lumps and it’s getting stringy. Femininity’s top landscape is thinning. Also 99 per tent of Atlanta women wear false hair. If it were gathered up all in one lump, it would probabl/ amount to about 50 tons when all the braids and rats and curls had been piled up in a brush-heap. Local hair specialists are responsi ble for these statements, but say hus bands of Atlanta and other localities needn’t worry. The same thing is happening to women everywhere. They are getting bald over at Monte zuma and Halifax and Griftin and every other foreign country just in the same way. What has done the mischief with the tresses is: Burning them with curling tongs. Marcelling them with a punk marcellist. Peroxiding them. Bleaching them. Dyeing them. Not washing them. Forgetting to brush them. And other little details. Therefore, when you see a woman’s hair nowadays you don’t see it. You see what covers it. Transformations Work Wonders. What covers it is a “tranforma- tion” or it’s a "transformation pompa dour” which Is the same thing with a longer name, only different. Now, a transformation, for the ben efit of our male readers, is simpty nothing more nor less than a wig. A woman simply takes the remaining strands of hair she is hoarding for souvenir purposes and twists them up in a tight little ball on the top of her head. (Over this picture we draw a veil.) Then she takes the "transformation,” clasps it around her head at a point Just above the eye-brows and hooks it up in the back. In the quarter of a second she has grown a full suit of hair, any color desired. Now if she wears a “transforma tion pompadour,” it’s the other way around. She combs the strands all about her face, sets her wig on like a bathing cap and pulls the hair up over it. That’s all. And it’s just as easy to grow curls. Talk about hair restorers!^ They are lazying around somewhere in South Florida going backwards on their way to New York in comparison with modern hair methods. You use a hair pin only. Then you locate said hairpin, curl attached, in a deep hole In your firmest rat so that it will not slip out on George’s shoulder when he is crooning soft things in your ear. It might queer his intentions, if he has any. For while there are a lot of nice considerate men in this world, there are. certanly some others who are mighty skittish of the hairless spe cies. Two or three have lately put detectives on the job of finding out if their sweetheart’s lovely “ba >y blonde” suit is the kind that won t come off without vigorous snatching or is just* the detachable kind after all. There Is a fortune In it for some one who will Invent something that can be glued on and look natural. Balm in Gilead. However, there is always balm in this week whispered that moat of the men of his acquaintance—he was speaking about husbands—bad about become resigned to their fates. He said he thought that in a couple of years or so men would simply forget to expect women to have hair any way. Finding a sprout then would be like discovering the baby’s flr.it tooth. “It has struck me,” said one man, “that a good subject for a popular song would be 'Where are the hairs of yesterday?’ Another said: “Dearie, the kind of hair women have nowadays is not the sort that mother used to make. It's the kind that father didn’t.” But don’t let that worry you for a second. The less hair you have the easier you can get your hat on. Over in Paris, and you know we are just wild about Paris, the women are cutting their hair off to fit their “acorn hats.” If you can’t get your wig and your own hair all at once in the .same place, just get rid of your hair. That’s all. But red hair’s all the rage just non. Even grandma wears Sister Annie's. It is so becoming to her. Mild suggestions to improve your hair, if you want to: Use pure soap when you wash it every two weeks. Let it dry in the sun and breeze to the wind. It will not break off at the Join-s that way. (For it has joints.) Don’t bake it out before a hot grate. It will split and become the great divide or something like that. Yju can’t tell. Move away from an electric light when your head gets hot from th'j reflector. Brush it and use common sense in taking care of it. If you do that you have done your best Mabel—and you know the old quotation about angels. LAUGHS In the Biological Laboratory. A germ had Just finished drinking about three fingers of methyl alcohol. After the last drops had trickled down his throat he licked his chops, clench ed his fists, looked fiercely around the room and roared: “Now, where Is that professor that was chasing me this morning?” Choice Spot. “The advertising man has his trou bles these days.” "As to how?** “Everybody wants apace next to pure baseball matter.” Very Likely. An illiterate farmer, wishing to en ter some animals in the “cowntv fayre,” wrote the secretary as follows: “Also enter me for the best Jauk- ass. I am bound to take the prize.” A Stiff Smoke. Johnny—Look here, old man, it's no use trying to unlock the door with a cigarette. Fweddy—Bless me! Howstrangsh! Wonder whether I’ve smoked the keysh? Bird of Another Feather. Teacher—Jacob wrestled with an angel, you khow, Willie. Little Willie (whose father is a the atrical manager)—And did the angel finally consent to back the show, teacher? Pat-Riotic. “Bay did vez hear thot Pat O’Mulli gan wouldn't have his new house built of nothin’ but imitation stone?” “No; an’ phwy did he want nothin but imitation stone?” “Because ’tis shamrock. E THERE MEDICAL GRAFT AND GRAFTERS? A Talk On Interesting Health Subjects By DR. WM. M. BAIRD Jokes These Are the Symptoms: f—Pain *n the hack. 2— Too frequent desire to urlnat**. 3— Burning or obstruction of urine. 4— Pain or soreness in the bladder. 5— Gas or pain in the stomach. 6— Geiwrr.l debility, weakness, dizziness. 7— Pair or soreness under right rib. 8— Swelling In any part of the body. 9— Co net i option or liver trouble. 10— Pciplfiticu or pain under the heart. 11— Pain in the hip joint. 12— Pain in the neck or head. 13— Pain or sctvness in the kidneys. 14— Pain or swelling of the joints. 15— Pain or swelling of tne muscles. IF—Pain and soreness in nerves. 17—Acute or chronic rheumatism. Too True. Wife—Do you know, I have a very little mouth. In the glass it doesn't look large enough to hold my tongue. Husband (testily)—It isn’t! Awful Mistake Is Right. "That was an awful mistake the surgeon made. The man he operated on didn’t have what he thought he did.” “Didn’t have appendicitis at all, eh?” " 4 “Oh, he had appendicitis, ^all right, but he didn’t have any money.” 1 Gan Cure You If You GAN Bo Cured Instant Relief for Sore Feet Sore Feet, Tender Feet and Swollen ; Feet Cured Every Time by TIZ. i Sen^ at Once for Free Trial P The Only Kind. prefer burlesque “Do you drama?” “Why, of chorus.” Correct. Professor—How would you say French, “All the chickens are roost?” Brilliant Student—Tout a coup, s’ Policemen all over the world use TIZ. Policemen stand on their feet all day and know what sore, tender, sweaty, swollen feet really mean They "use TIZ because TIZ cures their feet right UI>. It keeps feet in perfect condition. Read what this policeman has to say: “I was surprised and de lighted with TIZ for tender feel. 1 hardly know how to thank you enough for it. It's superior to powders «>r plasters. I can keep my. feet in per fect condition. Believe in my earnest gratitude for TIZ. I am a policeman and keep on my feet all day Errrzy Harrell, Austin. Texas. You never tried anything like TIZ before for your feet. It is different from anything ever before- sold. TIZ is not a powder. Powders and other foot remedies clog up the pores. TIZ draws out all poisonous exuda tions which bring on soreness of the feet, and is the only remedy that does. TIZ cleans out every pore and glorifies the feet your feet. You'll never limp again or draw up your face in pain and you'll forget about your corns, bunions and cal louses. You’ll feel like a new person. If you allow' your head to be swayed in favor of taking a substitute for TIZ. you'll have to answer to your feet. For there is nothing else will insure your Pet being well. TIZ is for sale at all drug st- rfs. depart ment ard general stores at Lf.c a box. Money back if TIZ doesn’t do all we say. For a free trial package write to-day to Walter Luther Dodge & C* Chicago, ill T HERE goes fifty dollars of easy money out of my door to some other doctor, I have no doubt. Or maybe it goes for more fuel for his satanic majesty’s furnace. Who knows? I don’t. I do know it is lost to me, and I could have used it tc good ad vantage. The same thing occurs a couple of times a week, and often sets me to think ing seriously as to whether I am wrong or whether I should do as many others do—think of myself first. Should the doctor’s bank account or the patient’s good be the first consider ation? The reader will say that there is only one answer to this, and yet, when a couple of years ago in one of my Sunday talks I wrote of the commercial ism that was hurting the medical profession, I touched on a virgin sub- ") iect, but to-day it is being discussed in medical jour- i nals as a subject of more than ordinary interest to | | the profession at large. This line of thought has been brought out by a man who walked into my office and pulled out a bottle of Salvarsan (“606”), and said he had just bought it, so that he knew he was getting the real thing, and he wanted me to give it to him. Now, this man consulted me first five years ago, and wanted me to treat him for specific blood poison. I could find no evidences of the disease or no history of his ever having had it, and so informed him. He had already been treated for the disease, and, in fact, was a victim of syphilophobia, or a fear of the dis ease. Now he comes and wants “606” on the princi ple, as he puts it, “that ‘606’ is a cure, and for fear I may have it I want the remedy.” He stated that Dr. offered to give it to him for $25.00, but having confidence in me he preferred me to give it, and would give me $50.00 if I would give it to him. I refused, and Dr. , who is very REGU LAR and would not countenance any breach of eth ics such as advertising unless he could get it free, will get his $25.00, and call me a quack because I ad vertise and pay for it, and I think Dr. a faker and a fraud. A few day3 ago a man consulted me whose ner vous condition was completely broken down— a cctildn’t sleep, bad dreams, so run down and misera ble as to find life a drag and a burden. He wanted me to treat him, and he wanted no med icine, but had read a lot of literature that convinced him that an electric belt was just what he wanted. I knew the needs of his case, and knew that an elec tric belt was of about as much account as any other form of pow-wow. He showed me an advertisement of one to cost $30.00, and I told him if he must s;iend his money for such foolishness, he could go and get the same thing for $2.00 or $3.00. DR. WM. M. BAIRD, Brown - Randolph Bldg. 56 Marietta St., Atlanta, Ga. ; 9 I am one that believes that a large proportion of the medical profession is guided by altruistic princi ples, but I can not help but know that there are grafters in the profession, and they are not all con fined to the advertising field, either. Many an oper ation is performed more for the fee than for the good of the patient. Doctors know it, and the lay man knows it, too. Two years ago I had something to say about the humbugging of “606.” Every word I wrote has come true. The drug itself is a good preparation of arsenic, and in selected cases is of value, but of no more value than other arsenical compounds. Not a single man whose opinion is worth a straw would to-day declare it a CURE. And proof of this is shown by the fact that not a day goes by but someone comes into my office who has had it administered from one to a half dozen times, and is worse than be fore. Another proof, too, is the fact that many doctors get a good fee for giying it and ease their conscience by telling the patients that they must take a course of medicine afterward. The benefit the patient gets is from the internal medicine and not from the “606.” As a matter of fact, its sale and use would have been very limited if the profession was not under the hypnotic spell of the great German medical trust. Just now we are having another German aiming to do the (as they think) silly American public by un loading another preparation or serum to cure tuber culosis. I mean the Friedmann cure, which will fall flat within a few weeks and be wholly discarded. Why? Simply because Friedmann made the com mercial mistake of not getting the backing of the Trust in his own country, which would have held it up a little longer. It has been my aim in my talks to tell the public something that would be of value for them to know on health subjects. Having been steadily in working harness for thirty-six years I have learned many things of value to patients, and I am proud to know that my efforts to enlighten the public are appreciated. What I like to do in my work is to sit down with a patient and make a thorough, careful examination, and then fully explain to him his condition and his need. I like to tell my patients just what they can expect from proper treatment, and not give them a lot of glittering promises that can not be kept or made good. To those who appreciate this kind of service I ex tend an invitation to call any day from 9 a. m. to 6 p. m. Sunday 10 to 12. Dr. Wm. M. Baird, Brown-Randolph Bldg.. 56 Marietta St., Atlanta, Ga. Please send me your booklet on Specific Blood Poison. Also one on Health, and, as soon as It comes from the press, your revised article on Brain and Nerve Exhaustion, and other arti cles you may publish from time to time. Name P. O. Address P. O. Box or R. F. D. No State J